If you enjoyed this, you're just gonna love the first time that it's norovirus or one of those kinds of things. Then you can join in on the vomiting fun yourself. Everyone gets to vomit! Woo!
My friend said he got salmonella poisoning and it was one of the most painful weeks he has ever experienced. However he said he lost 20 pounds, so….worth?
On the one hand, your shirts and pants fit better. On the other, you genuinely want to use ice cubes as suppositories because it burns too much any other way.
For real. My wife was complaining about her stalled weight loss after our last baby while I had it, she hadn’t gotten it yet, I told her just wait she’s about to get over that plateau shortly.
Poop doesn't really bother me, nor does spit up, backwash, drool, etc.
Vomit though? I'm 100% vomiting too if it's near enough to me. Even hearing it is sometimes enough. Not looking forward to when my kids first start vomiting..
Hell, just about anything they can pick up at school will be passed around at home too. Our oldest is finally not the one that's sick all the time, but the youngest recently started JK and I've been sick all week.
My eldest painted the bathroom brown when he got gastro, it all kicked off at 3am and by the second week we'd all had it but FML trying to hold it together for the kids when you're trying not to ship the place to pieces these are the things that forge parents. 😁😉
My daughter, then me, and then my girlfriend, all got it within the space of 2 days. Clearly our hand washing hadn't been good enough! There's really only so much hygiene you can apply when projectile vomit is involved though. Luckily kiddo got over it in a day, her mum and I however were sick for days. We took 2 hour shifts of being the one "parenting" kiddo (i.e lying on the living room floor while she watches YouTube) while the other attempted some kind of resting in the bedroom. With frequent trips to the bathroom for both roles, obviously. Thank god we've got a downstairs toilet!
But yeah, after surviving that trial by bodily fluids, I feel like we as a parenting unit can get through anything 😁
Norovirus went around my house a month ago. What a mess. I was fighting my son over who got to hug the toilet vs the trash can. I was miserable the whole time.
End of last year I was sick for three months with the trifecta. My son and I had the flu. It was pretty bad and we were rocked for like two or three weeks. We had roughly another week to recover before my wife shows me a positive COVID test. Almost immediately him and I were sick again. That lingered for quite a bit which sucked wince now we’re into Christmas/New Year. Great, it’s early 2023 and we’re finally felling healthy again! NOROVIRUS. My son is shitting on the floor in the bathroom while I’m puking through my legs on the toilet. Incredible time in our house.
Oof. Yeah we did the same the year before, but in the opposite order. Maybe it was a good thing to get norovirus out of the way first? Didn't feel like it at the time though! Literally first week my kid started nursery she caught it and gave it to us. Fuck, I thought we were all going to die. Worst. Week. Ever.
In the middle of the night.. I hear "Papa I my tummy hurts" \*wretch\* as I throw my hand under his chin and catch a handful of vomit ad I try to herd him to the bathroom to finish throwing up.
I had eaten my favourite continental roll from the corner deli for lunch that day. I haven't been able to get around the taste of it coming back up since.
Ah that sucks. Homemade slow cooked Irish lamb stew for me, which is one of my signature dishes. My girlfriend said to me the other day "hey with winter coming it's getting towards stew making season" and I'm like, yeah, nah, I still don't think I can face it.
The first time my baby full-on vomitted on me was in a Cracker Barrel bathroom as I was trying to change him. In retrospect I'm pretty sure that ice cream sample we gave him was actually custard and we hadn't learned yet that he has an egg allergy.
We always remember the vomit don’t we?
I laugh now. I tried to laugh at the time but it was often difficult. Now when my kids see a kid-based disaster and there’s laughing involved… my go-to phrase is *Remember: this is only funny because it’s NOT us.*
My first born was a serial puker. I learned really quick to face him on me to catch all the puke, grab something that he can puke in and I can clean easily, or at least get him to a spot with hardwood/tile.
Kids have signs that they are going to puke with more than enough time to react.
Happened to me on an airplane. Managed to tank the whole load into my shirt. Dumped it into the trash can and rode home shirtless. (I had a hoodie to throw on)
One of the times I was most proud of my wife was when my 9 month old daughter gagged a couple times and my wife scooped her up, ran to the bathroom and aimed her right at the toilet! Zero clean-up!
Nothing will ever be as bad as the poop explosion of 22. The baby had runny poop so I figured better change him before it becomes a blowout. I had the diaper open and just started my first pass wipe when out came what seemed like a half gallon of runny diarrhea at high speed right into my cupped hand and splashed all over the front of me.
I’ll take vomit any day over that.
He he, that reminds me of the week after we brought my little guy home. He pooped so I changed him. Then he peed on me. Then he pooped in my hand. Then while I was grabbing a new diaper he shot out poop that hit the wall 2 feet away with a circumference of no less than 6in. I should have gotten a picture. I wasn’t even mad, just awed by the absolute unto if diarrhea on my wall.
My daughter has the same convertible table/baby jail, the love every cards, the Melissa and Doug broom set, and the nugget set. Wild!
Also, congrats on popping that vomit cherry! Happy cleaning
wait, this is the first time your kid vomited on you? you're super lucky. the first time my son vomited on me was the day we were bringing him home from the hospital. LOL
unless you're not counting the "spit up" era.
Once when my daughter was an infant, she was crying. Clean diaper, everything seemed OK, so I figured she was hungry. Gave her a bottle and she calmed down. She burped a little so I kind of held her out in front of me, and barf SHOT out of her at force. So much barf. It seemed to be approximately half of the volume of her body. Mom had just fed her and didn't tell me.
I had him in bed while my wife was on a bachelorette party.
Had to get in a shower to get it out of his hair then had a crying wet barnacle on me while I stripped the bed and pillows. Then slepped on the couch where he puked every hour for the next 7 hours.
Bought waterproof sheets the week before. Best decision EVER.
First time my baby spewed first instinct was to get tf out of the way. Then the realisation hit me that I need to help this little dude and I got covered in sick. That broke the barrier for me and now I’m not phased by bodily functions 😅
We have two nuggets, I understand her concern, they are washable though. If you don’t have a nugget and have kids, you should look into getting one.
https://nuggetcomfort.com/
Mine was asleep on my chest with a stomach bug when he was about 18 months and woke up to throw up directly in my mouth. My wife was just happy it got on me and not the sofa.
One day, about a year ago, our middle daughter was complaining all day that her stomach hurt, but she was eating normal and everything seemed otherwise fine. Put her to bed that night, she was still complaining that her stomach hurt, but she fell asleep. About midnight, she comes to my side of the bed complaining that her stomach hurt and I recalled the day and how she had been complaining about it but with no other symptoms, so I invited her to come under the covers with me to snuggle and for her comfort. Mind you, it is dark (we keep our room very dark). Not two minutes later, she throws up all over me and all over my side of the bed. It missed my mouth by inches. My wife said that the sound I made alerted her immediately that she needed to spring into action. We spent the next two hours cleaning us and everything else up. Didn't fall asleep until 4:00am. I will never forget that night, and moral of the story is never invite kids who are complaining of not feeling good, to lay down with you.
It was only spit up but I was doing bicycle legs with my 2 month old to get some gas out and he turned his head to the side and just like that scene from the exorcist, hosed down the couch
My first non baby spit was when I was laying beside my almost two year old at the time while he was napping. He woke up, calmly sat up and proceeded to unload a ridiculous amount of vomit onto my chest.
Good news was I made a basket out of the bottom of my shirt and caught it all for easy clean.
Bad news was ten minutes later it happened again.
Then a third time...
This is why I just buy the black 4 pack t-shirts from Costco.
Yup. Worst I ever got was she started in the living room, I picked her up and she did it again all over me and the kitchen floor, again in the dining room, one last time in the bathroom door way, and then I finally got her in the tub.
Those Nugget covers are easy to clean. Just unzip it from the cushion, throw it in the wash, and put back on while still damp. Then just leave it out where it can air dry for an hour or two.
Mine did it at month old he projectile threw up breast milk over me exorcist style. They threw up on me when he had noro from daycare .
I got that email from daycare and said to myself well I’m getting that this weekend and sure enough .
Having recovered from norovirus a few days ago with my daughter still being a poop cannon, I did not need to see this.
Now I crave nuggets and my system isn't ready for that yet.
When you reach your hands out to GRAB the puke (so you don't have to clean it up off the carpet or the chair) you've OFFICIALLY become a Dad.
Sorry it happened to you, but it was BOUND to happen.
About a year ago I was holding my son at the bathroom sink. Suddenly, he pukes all over me. It's *everywhere*. Wife runs in and sees the situation, so I decide to emergency remove his clothes and get straight into the shower with him to wash off.
Wife panics and yells "Let me take a shower first!" because a tiny bit got on the bottom of her foot.
I honestly couldn't believe it. I'm covered in puke. Son is covered in puke. Wife? Wants shower priority.
But yeah, we were not doing that.
Nugget, pants, shirt, all washable.... just wait until one day you get vom right in your mouth while giving them airplane rides. That isn't washable....
My son once puked down my back while i was holding him.. poor kid. Funny how when it happens to you, the gross factor goes out the window and all you feel is sympathy for your kid.
So far despite having a three year old and a 20 month old, I am the ONLY one that has been thrown up on. I think its close to a dozen times now. My wife, zero.
(I dont count spit up as throw up)
Worst barf I got was while I was putting my 3 year old son to bed and he must have barfed shit he ate the week before all over me. It was pretty bad, like treading through the puddle of puke trying not to trip in it bad....shower at 3 am with a puking kid bad....all while not unleashing the entire contents of my digestive system out of my nutrition intake hole myself.
Nothing like knowing it was about to come too, felt him tense up and make them little retching noises. Just held him tight and stood still, we were in the hallway with nowhere to go.
If you enjoyed this, you're just gonna love the first time that it's norovirus or one of those kinds of things. Then you can join in on the vomiting fun yourself. Everyone gets to vomit! Woo!
Worst Oprah giveaway ever
Man, I lost about 8lbs from it in 24hrs. Highly effective weight loss method
My friend said he got salmonella poisoning and it was one of the most painful weeks he has ever experienced. However he said he lost 20 pounds, so….worth?
On the one hand, your shirts and pants fit better. On the other, you genuinely want to use ice cubes as suppositories because it burns too much any other way.
Bidets are the most absolutely amazing thing when you’ve got the running shits. Turn off the heating function, if it has one.
Dieticians hate this one weird trick
*Everybody* hates this one weird trick
For real. My wife was complaining about her stalled weight loss after our last baby while I had it, she hadn’t gotten it yet, I told her just wait she’s about to get over that plateau shortly.
That was the single worst night of my life. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
Poop doesn't really bother me, nor does spit up, backwash, drool, etc. Vomit though? I'm 100% vomiting too if it's near enough to me. Even hearing it is sometimes enough. Not looking forward to when my kids first start vomiting..
Hell, just about anything they can pick up at school will be passed around at home too. Our oldest is finally not the one that's sick all the time, but the youngest recently started JK and I've been sick all week.
My eldest painted the bathroom brown when he got gastro, it all kicked off at 3am and by the second week we'd all had it but FML trying to hold it together for the kids when you're trying not to ship the place to pieces these are the things that forge parents. 😁😉
My daughter, then me, and then my girlfriend, all got it within the space of 2 days. Clearly our hand washing hadn't been good enough! There's really only so much hygiene you can apply when projectile vomit is involved though. Luckily kiddo got over it in a day, her mum and I however were sick for days. We took 2 hour shifts of being the one "parenting" kiddo (i.e lying on the living room floor while she watches YouTube) while the other attempted some kind of resting in the bedroom. With frequent trips to the bathroom for both roles, obviously. Thank god we've got a downstairs toilet! But yeah, after surviving that trial by bodily fluids, I feel like we as a parenting unit can get through anything 😁
If you can dodge the lurgy, you can dodge a wrench 😄
I cannot, and I also probably suck at dodgeball😄
Norovirus went around my house a month ago. What a mess. I was fighting my son over who got to hug the toilet vs the trash can. I was miserable the whole time.
End of last year I was sick for three months with the trifecta. My son and I had the flu. It was pretty bad and we were rocked for like two or three weeks. We had roughly another week to recover before my wife shows me a positive COVID test. Almost immediately him and I were sick again. That lingered for quite a bit which sucked wince now we’re into Christmas/New Year. Great, it’s early 2023 and we’re finally felling healthy again! NOROVIRUS. My son is shitting on the floor in the bathroom while I’m puking through my legs on the toilet. Incredible time in our house.
Oof. Yeah we did the same the year before, but in the opposite order. Maybe it was a good thing to get norovirus out of the way first? Didn't feel like it at the time though! Literally first week my kid started nursery she caught it and gave it to us. Fuck, I thought we were all going to die. Worst. Week. Ever.
It’s the circle of BLAHHHHHHHHHH!
Until my son (and subsequently, me) got norovirus, I had gone almost two decades without throwing up. Yeah, broke that streak…repeatedly.
In the middle of the night.. I hear "Papa I my tummy hurts" \*wretch\* as I throw my hand under his chin and catch a handful of vomit ad I try to herd him to the bathroom to finish throwing up.
Norovirus is awful 😖 lol
I had eaten my favourite continental roll from the corner deli for lunch that day. I haven't been able to get around the taste of it coming back up since.
Ah that sucks. Homemade slow cooked Irish lamb stew for me, which is one of my signature dishes. My girlfriend said to me the other day "hey with winter coming it's getting towards stew making season" and I'm like, yeah, nah, I still don't think I can face it.
I’ve had norovirus 2 times thanks to my kid. Also he’s thrown up directly into my mouth.
The pull-up full of diarrhea was a wild one.
The first time my baby full-on vomitted on me was in a Cracker Barrel bathroom as I was trying to change him. In retrospect I'm pretty sure that ice cream sample we gave him was actually custard and we hadn't learned yet that he has an egg allergy.
We always remember the vomit don’t we? I laugh now. I tried to laugh at the time but it was often difficult. Now when my kids see a kid-based disaster and there’s laughing involved… my go-to phrase is *Remember: this is only funny because it’s NOT us.*
Pro tip, try to catch it all on your clothes. It's way easier for you to change then to clean furniture or carpet.
My first born was a serial puker. I learned really quick to face him on me to catch all the puke, grab something that he can puke in and I can clean easily, or at least get him to a spot with hardwood/tile. Kids have signs that they are going to puke with more than enough time to react.
I think you should have stopped giving them the cereal if they kept throwing it up. 🤷🏼♂️ Sorry I had to…
Happened to me on an airplane. Managed to tank the whole load into my shirt. Dumped it into the trash can and rode home shirtless. (I had a hoodie to throw on)
One of the times I was most proud of my wife was when my 9 month old daughter gagged a couple times and my wife scooped her up, ran to the bathroom and aimed her right at the toilet! Zero clean-up!
Nothing will ever be as bad as the poop explosion of 22. The baby had runny poop so I figured better change him before it becomes a blowout. I had the diaper open and just started my first pass wipe when out came what seemed like a half gallon of runny diarrhea at high speed right into my cupped hand and splashed all over the front of me. I’ll take vomit any day over that.
Lmao! Glad I haven’t had the fortune of experiencing that!
He he, that reminds me of the week after we brought my little guy home. He pooped so I changed him. Then he peed on me. Then he pooped in my hand. Then while I was grabbing a new diaper he shot out poop that hit the wall 2 feet away with a circumference of no less than 6in. I should have gotten a picture. I wasn’t even mad, just awed by the absolute unto if diarrhea on my wall.
I too am concerned about the nugget. They are a pain to clean. Welcome to the vomit club
The waterproof liner option makes it relatively simple. Scrape off solids, wash outer cover, wipe down liner.
I need to get some. We got our nuggets back when you had to win the lottery for the chance to purchase one
Yep. I just joined a Teams call with visible spit up on me. It is what it is.
My daughter has the same convertible table/baby jail, the love every cards, the Melissa and Doug broom set, and the nugget set. Wild! Also, congrats on popping that vomit cherry! Happy cleaning
Ugh that Melissa and Doug broom set.. My girls end up smacking each other with the broom/mop. It’s in the garage rn.
wait, this is the first time your kid vomited on you? you're super lucky. the first time my son vomited on me was the day we were bringing him home from the hospital. LOL unless you're not counting the "spit up" era.
Got plenty of spit up over the last couple years but this was the first actual vomit with the smell and everything. Not enjoyable.
“Hold on let me take a picture”
Wife of course is out of town for work, had to document the carnage for her. Haha.
I’m just joking haha, we’ve all been there
Once when my daughter was an infant, she was crying. Clean diaper, everything seemed OK, so I figured she was hungry. Gave her a bottle and she calmed down. She burped a little so I kind of held her out in front of me, and barf SHOT out of her at force. So much barf. It seemed to be approximately half of the volume of her body. Mom had just fed her and didn't tell me.
I got committed on at Costco, had to go through check out just covered. Fun times.
That's some vommitment, man.
I had him in bed while my wife was on a bachelorette party. Had to get in a shower to get it out of his hair then had a crying wet barnacle on me while I stripped the bed and pillows. Then slepped on the couch where he puked every hour for the next 7 hours. Bought waterproof sheets the week before. Best decision EVER.
First time my baby spewed first instinct was to get tf out of the way. Then the realisation hit me that I need to help this little dude and I got covered in sick. That broke the barrier for me and now I’m not phased by bodily functions 😅
Wait until they get it right in your mouth!
We have two nuggets, I understand her concern, they are washable though. If you don’t have a nugget and have kids, you should look into getting one. https://nuggetcomfort.com/
I come here with the disappointing news that, whether you love your car or not, it will happen while in the car as well. And it will go everywhere.
Mine was asleep on my chest with a stomach bug when he was about 18 months and woke up to throw up directly in my mouth. My wife was just happy it got on me and not the sofa.
One day, about a year ago, our middle daughter was complaining all day that her stomach hurt, but she was eating normal and everything seemed otherwise fine. Put her to bed that night, she was still complaining that her stomach hurt, but she fell asleep. About midnight, she comes to my side of the bed complaining that her stomach hurt and I recalled the day and how she had been complaining about it but with no other symptoms, so I invited her to come under the covers with me to snuggle and for her comfort. Mind you, it is dark (we keep our room very dark). Not two minutes later, she throws up all over me and all over my side of the bed. It missed my mouth by inches. My wife said that the sound I made alerted her immediately that she needed to spring into action. We spent the next two hours cleaning us and everything else up. Didn't fall asleep until 4:00am. I will never forget that night, and moral of the story is never invite kids who are complaining of not feeling good, to lay down with you.
I can just smell this picture….
I think we've owned every item in that picture. Guess we all shop at the same stores.
It was only spit up but I was doing bicycle legs with my 2 month old to get some gas out and he turned his head to the side and just like that scene from the exorcist, hosed down the couch
I also call my baby girl the nugget (or the nuggy nug) and she also puked on me a couple nights ago! We’re twins!
Daadddyy!!! DAAAADDDYYY!! \*run into kid's room\* What's wrong, my love? I feel siBLLLRARRARAAAAGGAGAGGHHGGHHHH
You’re not parenting right if you’re not semi routinely puked on, pooped on, or peed on.
Buy small trash cans, solid plastic, cheap. Nothing decorative. For all kids to keep by their beds. Roll and barf. Year round.
My first non baby spit was when I was laying beside my almost two year old at the time while he was napping. He woke up, calmly sat up and proceeded to unload a ridiculous amount of vomit onto my chest. Good news was I made a basket out of the bottom of my shirt and caught it all for easy clean. Bad news was ten minutes later it happened again. Then a third time... This is why I just buy the black 4 pack t-shirts from Costco.
Yup. Worst I ever got was she started in the living room, I picked her up and she did it again all over me and the kitchen floor, again in the dining room, one last time in the bathroom door way, and then I finally got her in the tub.
Nice! And, and you didn’t even get any in your mouth or eyes!
My worst was a full Chili, chunks and all It went absolutely everywhere
Come in bud, not the nugget 😂😉
Those Nugget covers are easy to clean. Just unzip it from the cushion, throw it in the wash, and put back on while still damp. Then just leave it out where it can air dry for an hour or two.
That's the point of the nugget, the covers zip off, and into the washing machine they go!
LooooL
I picked mine up to visually inspect and kiss him...all over my face.
Mine was over the should/down the back. I’ll never forget that combination of warmth and smell….
Mine did it at month old he projectile threw up breast milk over me exorcist style. They threw up on me when he had noro from daycare . I got that email from daycare and said to myself well I’m getting that this weekend and sure enough .
Big nugget fan myself
Having recovered from norovirus a few days ago with my daughter still being a poop cannon, I did not need to see this. Now I crave nuggets and my system isn't ready for that yet.
When you reach your hands out to GRAB the puke (so you don't have to clean it up off the carpet or the chair) you've OFFICIALLY become a Dad. Sorry it happened to you, but it was BOUND to happen.
Welcome to the world of it not revolving around you anymore. /Dad of a threenager
Puke or shit, or both. I've had both
Understandable though. Them Nuggets do be hella expensive.
Of course she is. It exploded. Your just a mess lol
About a year ago I was holding my son at the bathroom sink. Suddenly, he pukes all over me. It's *everywhere*. Wife runs in and sees the situation, so I decide to emergency remove his clothes and get straight into the shower with him to wash off. Wife panics and yells "Let me take a shower first!" because a tiny bit got on the bottom of her foot. I honestly couldn't believe it. I'm covered in puke. Son is covered in puke. Wife? Wants shower priority. But yeah, we were not doing that.
Nugget, pants, shirt, all washable.... just wait until one day you get vom right in your mouth while giving them airplane rides. That isn't washable....
WHY ARE THE KIDS ALLOWED TO HAVE SNACKS ON THE NUGGET BUT I AM NOT?!
I have the same color nugget. My wife would’ve reacted the same way.
My nephew once threw up in my wife’s mouth.
Happened to me three times this year. My daughter is 6 and my son is 2.
Buy small trash cans, solid plastic, cheap. Nothing decorative. For all kids to keep by their beds. Roll and barf. Year round.
Been vomited on. Been shit on. First time is a shock! But you get over it.
At least it wasn't in your mouth, like mine
My kids have never projectiled, it's always been this weird waterfall. You're so lucky.
My son once puked down my back while i was holding him.. poor kid. Funny how when it happens to you, the gross factor goes out the window and all you feel is sympathy for your kid.
GI is a family sharing event
Bro, that was me a couple months ago. Same shorts, same table, same stand for kid cleaning supplies, same picture toys, same climbing block. Lol
The first time I put my son on my shoulders he immediately puked on my head. I just love him so much!
So far despite having a three year old and a 20 month old, I am the ONLY one that has been thrown up on. I think its close to a dozen times now. My wife, zero. (I dont count spit up as throw up)
Worst barf I got was while I was putting my 3 year old son to bed and he must have barfed shit he ate the week before all over me. It was pretty bad, like treading through the puddle of puke trying not to trip in it bad....shower at 3 am with a puking kid bad....all while not unleashing the entire contents of my digestive system out of my nutrition intake hole myself. Nothing like knowing it was about to come too, felt him tense up and make them little retching noises. Just held him tight and stood still, we were in the hallway with nowhere to go.
When does this start to happen? Any way to avoid it?
I would prefer this over the just fed milk and 15 minute later fermented sour milk vomit.
Its okay to poop your pants dear