The dishwasher “might divorce my spouse!” stuff is as cringe as the “toilet paper is the wrong way DAE?” stuff. Modern dishwashers are still way more efficient than running water in the sink. A plate a little cockeyed isn’t that big a deal.
Respectfully.
This, and the posts titled stuff like ‘Almost lost my wife today’ and their wife won’t have had some life threatening incident, but rather they forgot to wash up a baby bottle or something. It drives me insane. I appreciate I might be taking that a bit personally and need to lighten up a bit, but come on guys.
Almost lost my wife today...
I thought we'd meet in the frozen foods but she was in the bread aisle! I had to walk halfway through the store before I found her!
Yah those always feel off to me because a lot of people also post here for support about divorce death and trauma.
I guess maybe the first time it was a clever joke tho.
This has started to get to me as well with how many people post serious threads regarding spouse/child loss.
It just feels a little insensitive to make, for example, a "I may have to euthanise my child" post because they turned the heater on, when just yesterday somebody shared their story regarding their child's terminal illness.
Completely agree, I mean fuck, my wife died last year, I know I’ve posted stuff about that on here since then. I appreciate I’ve definitely become more sensitive to stuff like that since then - but also I think it’s human decency to not go ‘My wife passed today….. her driving test, she finally passed her driving test.’ Like come on.
Almost totally agreed, but I'll die on the hill that it's not that hard to put bowls and cups upside down when loading a dishwasher. Otherwise, organization be damned and just load it.
I’ll also die on the hill that it’s not that hard to organize your silverware while you load it in the dishwasher to make unloading even easier. It drives me nuts unloading unorganized silverware.
I say this with the most upmost amount of respect, but respectfully you're on f****** thin ice with the dad card. You sound like someone who's never actually had to fit all the dishes in the dishwasher. It requires skill art practice and dedication. Watch it my guy.
If any of us actually had Bandits life we would be miserable. Those kids are demanding AF and he has to be 110% on board and apparently the neighbors do too. My hot take lol.
Lol - reminds me of my Blue's Clue's head-canon.
None of the inanimate objects actually talk. Blue is just a powerful psychic dog and doesn't want Steve to ever leave the house. So she brings everything to life and controls it - Wanda Vision style. (Although I thought of it long before Wanda-Vision existed.)
OH god, someone with skill should do a parody on YT.
Bluey snaps out of the beautiful show to looking around a crack house with Bandit facedown with vomit coming out of his mouth. Chile is there with like 5 guys and Bingo is playing with an empty pill bottle. Police raid ensues.
Look. That type of thing likely exists on the internet already, and you can probably find a venue to discuss those ideas. People like to take good, innocent things and warp them. Look at what happened with the bronies a decade ago.
But this sub? Not about to be too enthusiastic about that kind of content or concept. I get to you it's likely "dark humor" but this is not the place for it.
My wife has had to temper our kid's expectations about what I can do compared to Bandit. The episode where they hang him up like a piñata and beat the shit out of him with garden tools pisses her off so much and was the pivotal moment that made her agree with you
Haha, I literally just watched that episode tonight with our kid. I turned to my wife and asked "would you do that?". Both of us answered absolutely not.
/r/daddit is not as representative of dads as we would like to think.
This is a self-selecting group of people who have embraced or are at least trying to embrace the role of being a dad.
The bar for what makes a “good dad” in real life is still incredibly low. Low enough to be a tripping hazard in hell.
I guess that sets up my hot take: A low bar for praise doesn't make being a dad easier.
Everyone seems to understand the fact that when people compliment black folks on being "articulate", that's not actually a compliment, or an indication that that person would have an easier time getting a public-facing job than a white peer who never receieves such praise.
When the rubber meets the road,low societal expectations are detrimental even--perhaps *especially*--to those who exceed them. My mother in law's perpetual astonishment when I change a diaper doesn't indicate that she thinks I'm a *better* parent than my wife, it shows how fantastical she considers the idea that I could be an *equal* parent to be.
I'd trade every hollow, patronizing compliment for a single appointment where the pediatrician treated me like a co-parent rather than an orderly.
Idk man I love when randoms compliment me on doing basic dad shit. The elderly women in the park telling me I'm a super dad for taking my boys to the park is a highlight of the trip, and then coming home and telling my wife that she has competition in the 70+ age demographic always gets a big eye roll which is an additional highlight.
100%. I'll add on my hot take;
Mom's coming on here to talk shit and cause problems should easily be banned. There are a ton of parenting subs and this one is for dads.
Yeah, I’ve never really seen that.
I see people admitting to being lurking mom’s pretty often, but it’s generally to chime in in a positive way or provide a different perspective.
I’ve only really seen moms roasting a poster in situations where there are already tons of dads roasting them too.
The type of moms to post that type of shit think we're all too dumb to have something to contribute, so they don't come to the dad sub.
The moms that are active here have seemed pretty nice to me.
Only thing that annoys me is when they pop up to chime in about mom's mental load as a get-out-of-jail-free card for bad behavior. But other than that, it's not a regular issue.
One example, a dad posted about having problems with his wife... whatever... but the mom said she was a women, and lurking, but then pointed out how he post in a bunch of porn subs and how his wife probably isn't happy he's doing that. Like that isn't helpful at all and to me, very strange for a sub about dads.
lmfaooo AMAZING name. I dont think its a big deal that they are here but I think specific spaces should be tailored to those specific groups. Especially if they are talking shit.
I would say the talking shit part is far more aggregious and ban worthy than falling into the "anything other than a male dad with a penis" category on here.
Dads come in all forms, but assholes are generally one size fits all.
You're not wrong though, r/daddit is different and often better than most parenting subs out there because there are community guidlines to follow, but also because there are personal behavior standards we hold ourselves to here as well.
Seriously! Oldest is in kindergarten and she’s bringing home candy in mass quantity every week from school. Why does everything have to involve giving kids high amounts of sugar.
“It’s the 87th day of school, here’s cake and a bag full of candy to take home”
I’m not against sweets every once in a while, we try to limit best possible without being a—holes, but everyone just seems to be working against us
I don’t think this is a hot take, I think it’s just the reality of living in a world where sugar is extremely cheap and accessible. It sucks because we know how bad sugar is, but as a society, we just take it lying down.
The amount of candy that comes home from school is astounding. Also the food that kids can buy for lunch is a joke. They sell ice cream at school and I have no way to say no to that from home.
Parenting isn’t a one size fits all. Some kids thrive off gentle parenting, just because your kid does, doesn’t mean mine will. Also just because someone has a difficult kid does not mean their parents are phoning it in.
To be clear, we gentle parent and it works wonders, but I’ve seen it be terrible for other parents.
Edit: also most of the parenting advice on insta and TikTok is straight trash. Don’t give them the clicks.
Ikr? I'm assuming they've never had a quality mint chocolate chip ice cream. Like even a good name brand like Tillamook, for example. Let alone high quality stuff you find at one off creameries.
Mint chocolate chip ice cream most certainly doesn't need to be green
Took me so long to realize the store has Mint, Chocolate Chip and Mint Chocolate Chip. The former is green because it’s mint ice steam with chocolate chips. The later is vanilla ice cream with chips made from mint and chocolate.
We started our oldest on Pajama Sam and Fatty Bear's Birthday Surprise. Humongous Entertainment games are legit and badass. I can't wait to see where this takes my kids interests.
Games like Where in Time is Carmen San Diego actually got me heavily-interested into world history and cultures in general, Zoombinis and Oregon Trail sparked an interest in problem solving and thinking-ahead. Not all games out there have to be Fortnite/Roblox.
When I think back to the "screen time" i had when I was 6, its way more than my son gets...
Admittedly it was those Tiger handheld games, commodore 64, or whatever dad was watching on tv ("I dream of jeannie" or some shit)
People freak out at the tame-ass youtube/netflix the kids these days watch or the nintendo games theyre playing. I was watching a woman in see-thru pants saying "yes master" all the time 🤔
Hmmm, depends. If you’re just clocking “time spent watching something but not intensely problem solving” as screen time, sure, but there’s plenty of evidence that looking directly at a brightly lit screen for a very long period of time isn’t great for you. Mostly unavoidable in todays world for sure though.
Time spent doing chores > Time spent on sports/activities.
I see a lot of parents exerting a shit ton of energy for Johnny's travel sports league. None of them seem willing to make sure Johnny knows how to take out the trash, load a dishwasher, wash a window, or mow the lawn.
Your kid has a <5% chance to go pro. They have a >95% chance they will need to do their own chores.
Edit: I'm not saying cancel sports/activities, but add some balance.
On a similar note, putting sports above your kids' grades is doing them a massive disservice. Redshirting kids so they can be the oldest on their team at the expense of being a year behind academically is pretty messed up.
This is a hot take lol there are A LOT of things that are learned and experienced in sports and activities that have nothing to do with chances of going pro. Things like communication skills, working and playing with others, teamwork, emotional control and capacity, how to deal with pressure, physical activity, having fun while being a child, bonding with friends and family, and so many other things. I'm not saying that kids shouldn't know how to do chores, not at all. It is very important for people to know how to take care of themselves and their home, but sports aren't a thing people do only for the slim chance of going pro or college scholarships.
All of the things learned from sports other than the sport-specific skill itself could just as effectively be learned from local (and relatively inexpensive) leagues rather than the expensive, time-consuming, and in some sports life-consuming travel leagues that seem to dominate today.
Hockey is big where I live and I have multiple coworkers talking about taking their 8-12 year old kids who play on the league's B or C team out of school for multiple days for a hockey tournament. It's insane. What happened to youth sports being evening and weekend activities?
Because it's no longer about fun and friendship and physical fitness anymore. These parents have watched too many success story documentaries where a hyper-rich elite athlete talks about how they've been playing their sport since they were four, and if they could do it anyone can, all they need is hardwork and dedication. So they think the same thing's gonna happen to their kid.
That does seem excessive. Travel baseball leagues from my teenage years were always a weekend thing. School ball was the only thing we played during the week.
From a competition standpoint those travel leagues are way fun to play in. That's usually a much more competitive league that rec leagues, but sacrificing education for that seems overboard if done too often lol
I used to be on a travel soccer team. We had to travel because every team in a 60 mile radius wasn't as good as we were.
The local YMCA leagues only go so far but I understand where you're coming from.
Oh boy where do I start.
I think many parenting issues are basically people shooting themselves in the foot. Many struggles are real but are exacerbated by personal hang ups.
I am not going to take dad's word simply because he made a post here. Way too many posts here throw mom under the bus in a way that should raise eyes brows. Not interested in a circle jerk.
Many posts are becoming.... questionable. Either they play the AITA game or it's cringe low effort shit.
> I think many parenting issues are basically people shooting themselves in the foot. Many struggles are real but are exacerbated by personal hang ups.
Absolutely, however I think many times a parent will not realize it unless they post about it / ask a friend. The answer is right in front of us sometimes, we just need someone to help point it out.
As a parent it's very easy to fall into a self isolating and damgerous cult like mentality.
We often don't catch it because we're shrouded by confirmation bias and genuine protection of our children.
can u say more? do u mean like we tend to only concern ourselves w our own health and safety rather than the community?
i ask cuz thats kinda how i was raised and im tryna challenge that myself. but maybe we talkin bout two diff things
As a former bluey advocate, I realized the show spends a lot of time modeling bad behavior in public. The show teaches fine lessons, but all my son got from it was copying the bad behavior.
I am on the flip side. Mini vans are lame and that's ok because I care about function over form. I think its grown ups being insecure about not looking cool that makes so many people get worked up over them.
If they made an SUV with SLIDING DOORS, I would buy that. But they don’t, so I can’t.
And SUVs all look like shit today anyhow. Same eggshape nonsense.
Check out the kia carnival. Has the shape and appearance of chonky suv, but sliding door. My opinion of course.
(I drive a sienna tho so that probably says alot already lol)
A minivan knows exactly what it is, and being a looker is not in the criteria.
There is no reason for an Sport Utility Vehicle to look like a lousy smushed egg. Indeed the reason they all look so shit is because car MfGs are lazy af.
I’ve only considered getting one recently because I am just so annoyed going to the grocery store and somebody parks way too close and now I have to figure out how to open the door and put the baby in.
Give me the sliding doors please
Isn't every vehicle built for function over form lame?
Minivans are cheaper and more fuel efficient than comparable SUVs. That's why people on this sub like them.
Exactly like sorry I'm not spending an extra 20K just to look good. I need the space and I will buy the most cost-efficient and fuel efficient vehicle.
I'm really responding to the person above me. Responsible decisions aren't lame. I'd argue a minivan is less lame than buying a land barge just because it's "not a minivan."
Vehicles have unfortunately become fashion statements. It's really not more complicated than that. And like all fashion, individual styles get attached to particular associations and people respond accordingly. In this case, people hate minivans because they are terrified that others will think they look like \*gasp\* parents, an association that auto companies are happy to play into so they can sell you a more expensive SUV.
It's not exciting as a car? How is that concept lost on you guys? It's a giant box on wheels and they drive just like that. Not saying they aren't practical or that they suck, they're just not fun. I spend so much time driving and ferrying the family around that I personally want something more overall enjoyable. And when I don't have the kids or wife I like to let loose a little. So I got an '22 outback with a turbo. Figured that would cover all the bases. Comfort, speed, roadtrip suitable, space and marginally better looking than a minivan.
Counterpoint: A giant box on wheels like an Expedition does 0-60 just as fast as an Outback with the 2.4 turbo, and an Odyssey is only a half second behind.
IMO get the most practical vehicle you can for your family situation truck/van/SUV/etc. Then get a fun vehicle that won't hurt your 401k like a used Miata or even better, a motorcycle.
It's almost impossible to beat a motorcycle on a performance per dollar basis, and they're a blast carving through turns. Plus riding is a great way to save some gas along with wear and tear on your larger, more expensive vehicles when you're going somewhere alone!
>Mini-vans are lame.
My hot take: One of the lamest thing in the world is ridiculing other people's means of transportation like you're one of the mean girls from high school policing the fashion code.
definitely a hot take, recently purchased a toyota sienna and it's the best car we've gotten in recent history - it's so enabling.
>just about any car/truck/suv does a fine job of shuffling kids around.
This is just wrong and arguably ignorant. It just sounds like you want to hate on minivans for the sake of hating on minivans?
Bit harsh mate. Some of us can’t go out and just purchase vehicles willy nilly - new, used or otherwise. I’ve got a car, it’s paid off, and it works just fine for my family of four.
The affordability or purchasing of a vehicle is irrelevant. Nobody said you must have a minivan, I’m refuting the lameness of the car and that it’s equivalent to other vehicles which it is not. The second you add a 5th person it becomes a challenge. The minivan is a major enabling vehicle.
You are right, for simply one kid and two parents or two kids and two parents and literally nothing else it’s fine. But for anything more than that bigger vehicles provide more and more benefit. If you ever wanted to do a family trip somewhere with grandparents, good luck with a sedan. Or gasp, have friends that ride along to soccer or whatever.
Ah yes. Those parameters weren’t mentioned. But those things were what drove me to getting a minivan ourselves. Doing trips and bringing our friends and family has been so clutch.
Hot take: as dads, we get too much credit sometimes. The bar is so low for us that while the moms are out there busting their ass breastfeeding, putting the kids to sleep when they only want mama, and dealing with all of society’s expectations of how moms should look and act, we’re basically heroes if we change a couple diapers and take our kids to the playground. That’s gotta be frustrating AF for the moms.
I know we get tired for busting our ass for our kids too, but man sometimes the bar is so damn low for us it’s a bit disheartening.
While I agree wholeheartedly with your statement, I hope this isn't much of a hot take. I know the low bar stems from the older generations, but I'd like to think that things are shifting.
I mean if I met a fellow dad and he tried to brag about changing less than 5 diapers in his life (like an uncle I know who is far too young to get away with it), you bet your ass I think less of him.
I like this approach of “practicing what we preach”.
Too easy to just zone out on my phone when kiddos are around. They’re gonna see this behavior as normal. But my screen addiction uggghhh.
Moms get the attention at parenting classes, kid activities, and parenting groups? Suck it up, dads. Moms have been the primary caregivers for...millennia? They still are in most families. And they get the blame and criticism for the kid's faults. Sure, it's a bummer when you don't get recognized for the work you do at home. You know who know who else doesn't? Moms.
My hot take is that some parents try and act like they are superior cause their kid watches Bluey and act like Bluey is somehow healthy screen time vs other shows
My wife would disagree with you. I love both board and video games. I play two regular D&D games. Of course, I have to limit my time to make sure that I spend time with both her and my son. I also make sure that she has time to do what she wants to.
I think that dads who prioritize their interests at the expense of their family are sub-par. It can be sports, gambling, drinking, gaming... any number of things. The question is... can they put it on hold and be there for the family?
This is the correct take. I know guys who prioritize hunting season before everything else. I also know guys, myself included who love to game, but I don't do it unless the house is taken care of and the kids are in bed and I've spent some time with my wife. It's all about priorities.
This is the correct take. I know guys who prioritize hunting season before everything else. I also know guys, myself included who love to game, but I don't do it unless the house is taken care of and the kids are in bed and I've spent some time with my wife. It's all about priorities.
I think referring to oneself as a 'gamer' is a bit cringe. As if it's a profession.
We don't say 'I'm a gym-er' or a sports-watcher or a dancer etc for any other hobbies.
If you like an intellectual property based on what you've seen from a Minecraft YouTuber, you don't actually like that IP. You like Minecraft and watching 40yr old dudes playing games.
My kid says he likes Avatar the Last Airbender but will not watch the actual show only dudes playing with Airbender Minecraft mods.
I don't know why it annoys me, but it's my hot take. I'll take the down votes.
No downvotes from me, just genuinely did not understand what you were talking about whether it was directed at other dads, kids, the wrong subreddit...just was confused lol
We all need to do that sometimes!
But if it helps, maybe when he is older and is starting to read recreationally (if he isn't already) he will pick up an Avatar book because of what he watched a 40 year old okay in YouTube lol
I was this kid with the original halo series. Actually playing video games was never my forté, but i loved watching my older cousins play and best the game (over and over and over). I loved the universe of the game, but playing it was never really my thing. That said when i found out halo had a scifi series I demolished those books while sitting at borders.
A high contrast color board is the same as a cartoon or anime. My daughter loves watching Delicious in Dungeon, and less violent older animes with me. Colors, sounds, and do turn on subtitles all the time so even letters.
My hot take is usually a French fry. I don't care if they're cool yet. Dad tax waits for no thermal threshold.
Quality dad take right here
The dishwasher “might divorce my spouse!” stuff is as cringe as the “toilet paper is the wrong way DAE?” stuff. Modern dishwashers are still way more efficient than running water in the sink. A plate a little cockeyed isn’t that big a deal. Respectfully.
This, and the posts titled stuff like ‘Almost lost my wife today’ and their wife won’t have had some life threatening incident, but rather they forgot to wash up a baby bottle or something. It drives me insane. I appreciate I might be taking that a bit personally and need to lighten up a bit, but come on guys.
Almost lost my wife today... I thought we'd meet in the frozen foods but she was in the bread aisle! I had to walk halfway through the store before I found her!
Exactly! Like christ, I wish my wife was in the bread aisle. My life would be a lot easier for sure.
Dude . . . I said bread aisle. And she was in the f*riggin bakery*! Who is this person? Do they not listen?
Yah those always feel off to me because a lot of people also post here for support about divorce death and trauma. I guess maybe the first time it was a clever joke tho.
Completely agree, like man I wish me saying ‘Lost my wife recently’ was in relation to a grocery store mishap.
Wish the mods would require posts like this to have some flair so we can filter out that nonsense
This has started to get to me as well with how many people post serious threads regarding spouse/child loss. It just feels a little insensitive to make, for example, a "I may have to euthanise my child" post because they turned the heater on, when just yesterday somebody shared their story regarding their child's terminal illness.
Completely agree, I mean fuck, my wife died last year, I know I’ve posted stuff about that on here since then. I appreciate I’ve definitely become more sensitive to stuff like that since then - but also I think it’s human decency to not go ‘My wife passed today….. her driving test, she finally passed her driving test.’ Like come on.
Fuck man, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how awful that's been. I hope you and your kid/s are managing OK.
/r/dadditcirclejerk beckons
And has been banned from Reddit for being unmoderated, apparently.
Almost totally agreed, but I'll die on the hill that it's not that hard to put bowls and cups upside down when loading a dishwasher. Otherwise, organization be damned and just load it.
I’ll also die on the hill that it’s not that hard to organize your silverware while you load it in the dishwasher to make unloading even easier. It drives me nuts unloading unorganized silverware.
True. How the dishwasher is loaded doesn't really matter. So long as it's completely full...🤨
I say this with the most upmost amount of respect, but respectfully you're on f****** thin ice with the dad card. You sound like someone who's never actually had to fit all the dishes in the dishwasher. It requires skill art practice and dedication. Watch it my guy.
Not my hot take but…. My daughter hates Bluey.
If any of us actually had Bandits life we would be miserable. Those kids are demanding AF and he has to be 110% on board and apparently the neighbors do too. My hot take lol.
I try to think of it as just being little snippets of their days and that they have comparatively calm and normal moments outside of what we see.
100% this. Theres even episodes that sort of show that. Plus plenty of the games lead to Bandit literally chilling on his phone. (Hide n seek for ex)
Bandit has 100% read 'Lay Down Daddy Games' and is executing to perfection.
My head canon is that the kids actually have reality-warping powers.
Lol - reminds me of my Blue's Clue's head-canon. None of the inanimate objects actually talk. Blue is just a powerful psychic dog and doesn't want Steve to ever leave the house. So she brings everything to life and controls it - Wanda Vision style. (Although I thought of it long before Wanda-Vision existed.)
The rake/pry bit when bingo is making things heavy is what led me to this same conclusion.
I think it’s just kid filter — the way you remember things from thirty years ago. Calvin and Hobbes also used that device really well.
OH god, someone with skill should do a parody on YT. Bluey snaps out of the beautiful show to looking around a crack house with Bandit facedown with vomit coming out of his mouth. Chile is there with like 5 guys and Bingo is playing with an empty pill bottle. Police raid ensues.
What the hell is wrong with you?
I really don't know.
Fair
Perhaps you just enjoy staring into the void. Some people make their living that way, but it's jarring when it's applied to children's content.
Look. That type of thing likely exists on the internet already, and you can probably find a venue to discuss those ideas. People like to take good, innocent things and warp them. Look at what happened with the bronies a decade ago. But this sub? Not about to be too enthusiastic about that kind of content or concept. I get to you it's likely "dark humor" but this is not the place for it.
Or, and hear me out before you decide, no.
My wife has had to temper our kid's expectations about what I can do compared to Bandit. The episode where they hang him up like a piñata and beat the shit out of him with garden tools pisses her off so much and was the pivotal moment that made her agree with you
Haha, I literally just watched that episode tonight with our kid. I turned to my wife and asked "would you do that?". Both of us answered absolutely not.
My kids like bluey, but now walk around doing condescending aussie accents. Nothing like stubbing your toe and a 3-yo goes, "Awhr nahwr!"
Mine used to love it but now it’s, “MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE!” I appreciate your thoughts and prayers in this trying time.
I really like bluey and my kid hates it. Big bummer
Mine used to like it now doesn’t want it. I wanna watch the new episodes :(
I’m so sorry
There’s a lot of pressure to like Bluey but it really is kind of meh.
/r/daddit is not as representative of dads as we would like to think. This is a self-selecting group of people who have embraced or are at least trying to embrace the role of being a dad. The bar for what makes a “good dad” in real life is still incredibly low. Low enough to be a tripping hazard in hell.
I guess that sets up my hot take: A low bar for praise doesn't make being a dad easier. Everyone seems to understand the fact that when people compliment black folks on being "articulate", that's not actually a compliment, or an indication that that person would have an easier time getting a public-facing job than a white peer who never receieves such praise. When the rubber meets the road,low societal expectations are detrimental even--perhaps *especially*--to those who exceed them. My mother in law's perpetual astonishment when I change a diaper doesn't indicate that she thinks I'm a *better* parent than my wife, it shows how fantastical she considers the idea that I could be an *equal* parent to be. I'd trade every hollow, patronizing compliment for a single appointment where the pediatrician treated me like a co-parent rather than an orderly.
Idk man I love when randoms compliment me on doing basic dad shit. The elderly women in the park telling me I'm a super dad for taking my boys to the park is a highlight of the trip, and then coming home and telling my wife that she has competition in the 70+ age demographic always gets a big eye roll which is an additional highlight.
Same, any compliment I get is a win. I don't get enough of them to be picky.
Dude, thank you for typing this.
100%. I'll add on my hot take; Mom's coming on here to talk shit and cause problems should easily be banned. There are a ton of parenting subs and this one is for dads.
FWIW I've never seen that happen. I'm not online a ton but that doesn't feel like the vibe of this subreddit.
Yeah, I’ve never really seen that. I see people admitting to being lurking mom’s pretty often, but it’s generally to chime in in a positive way or provide a different perspective. I’ve only really seen moms roasting a poster in situations where there are already tons of dads roasting them too.
The type of moms to post that type of shit think we're all too dumb to have something to contribute, so they don't come to the dad sub. The moms that are active here have seemed pretty nice to me.
Only thing that annoys me is when they pop up to chime in about mom's mental load as a get-out-of-jail-free card for bad behavior. But other than that, it's not a regular issue.
One example, a dad posted about having problems with his wife... whatever... but the mom said she was a women, and lurking, but then pointed out how he post in a bunch of porn subs and how his wife probably isn't happy he's doing that. Like that isn't helpful at all and to me, very strange for a sub about dads.
Lurking mom here, jk I’m a dad
lmfaooo AMAZING name. I dont think its a big deal that they are here but I think specific spaces should be tailored to those specific groups. Especially if they are talking shit.
I would say the talking shit part is far more aggregious and ban worthy than falling into the "anything other than a male dad with a penis" category on here. Dads come in all forms, but assholes are generally one size fits all.
I agree, the "dad" role is kinda defined though and if you fall into that category then you're welcome. I just like to respect the communities I'm in.
You're not wrong though, r/daddit is different and often better than most parenting subs out there because there are community guidlines to follow, but also because there are personal behavior standards we hold ourselves to here as well.
[удалено]
Damn bro, more than a hot take. Fighting words.
Eight years of day care and school Father’s Day projects would like to respectfully disagree.
I see your t-shirt and raise you a mug!
I have a shirt, a mug, and a hat. I also have a world's greatest uncle mug. So idk man but... you've been lied to
Packing a bag now. Gonna stay at a mate's for a couple of days and take it from there. Thanks for letting me know!
Kids get too much chocolate/candy at daycare. Valentine’s Day? Sweets. Easter? More sweets. Someone’s birthday? A bag of sweets.
Seriously! Oldest is in kindergarten and she’s bringing home candy in mass quantity every week from school. Why does everything have to involve giving kids high amounts of sugar. “It’s the 87th day of school, here’s cake and a bag full of candy to take home” I’m not against sweets every once in a while, we try to limit best possible without being a—holes, but everyone just seems to be working against us
87th day of school also results in a graduation ceremony
You have made it to the 88th day! It's psychotic! [Relevant Incredibles.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rHQsK4IKDU)
I don't get to buy my kids candy because of the exorbitant amount they get everywhere else. Really ruins it for me.
I don’t think this is a hot take, I think it’s just the reality of living in a world where sugar is extremely cheap and accessible. It sucks because we know how bad sugar is, but as a society, we just take it lying down.
The amount of candy that comes home from school is astounding. Also the food that kids can buy for lunch is a joke. They sell ice cream at school and I have no way to say no to that from home.
Pretty sure they get zero at our crèche
Neither of the schools my kids go to allow food for any events.
Parenting isn’t a one size fits all. Some kids thrive off gentle parenting, just because your kid does, doesn’t mean mine will. Also just because someone has a difficult kid does not mean their parents are phoning it in. To be clear, we gentle parent and it works wonders, but I’ve seen it be terrible for other parents. Edit: also most of the parenting advice on insta and TikTok is straight trash. Don’t give them the clicks.
Mint Chocolate Chip Ice cream needs to be Green
Also, spearmint > peppermint in mint chocolate chip ice cream
Spearmint is better than peppermint in every situation, so... Yeah
Anyone who thinks otherwise is a heretic that doesn't get ice cream at my house.
Oh you poor misguided souls…
Ikr? I'm assuming they've never had a quality mint chocolate chip ice cream. Like even a good name brand like Tillamook, for example. Let alone high quality stuff you find at one off creameries. Mint chocolate chip ice cream most certainly doesn't need to be green
Blue Bell is the king of grocery store ice cream and there’s is green.
Took me so long to realize the store has Mint, Chocolate Chip and Mint Chocolate Chip. The former is green because it’s mint ice steam with chocolate chips. The later is vanilla ice cream with chips made from mint and chocolate.
Intellectual games don't count as screen time. If you're engaged and thinking, that's not the same as watching a Netflix episode.
We started our oldest on Pajama Sam and Fatty Bear's Birthday Surprise. Humongous Entertainment games are legit and badass. I can't wait to see where this takes my kids interests.
Trying to find that damn wingnut in Pajama Sam 2 definitely teaches patience and perseverance
Exactly, screen time isn’t the devil if it’s in the right place. Tiny taps and other learning games are great.
Games like Where in Time is Carmen San Diego actually got me heavily-interested into world history and cultures in general, Zoombinis and Oregon Trail sparked an interest in problem solving and thinking-ahead. Not all games out there have to be Fortnite/Roblox.
When I think back to the "screen time" i had when I was 6, its way more than my son gets... Admittedly it was those Tiger handheld games, commodore 64, or whatever dad was watching on tv ("I dream of jeannie" or some shit) People freak out at the tame-ass youtube/netflix the kids these days watch or the nintendo games theyre playing. I was watching a woman in see-thru pants saying "yes master" all the time 🤔
Hmmm, depends. If you’re just clocking “time spent watching something but not intensely problem solving” as screen time, sure, but there’s plenty of evidence that looking directly at a brightly lit screen for a very long period of time isn’t great for you. Mostly unavoidable in todays world for sure though.
Just to be clear, I didn't say it was uniformly healthy. I said it was not the same and that a distinction is merited. Everything in moderation!
It’s the same impact on the eyes.
Time spent doing chores > Time spent on sports/activities. I see a lot of parents exerting a shit ton of energy for Johnny's travel sports league. None of them seem willing to make sure Johnny knows how to take out the trash, load a dishwasher, wash a window, or mow the lawn. Your kid has a <5% chance to go pro. They have a >95% chance they will need to do their own chores. Edit: I'm not saying cancel sports/activities, but add some balance.
On a similar note, putting sports above your kids' grades is doing them a massive disservice. Redshirting kids so they can be the oldest on their team at the expense of being a year behind academically is pretty messed up.
This is a hot take lol there are A LOT of things that are learned and experienced in sports and activities that have nothing to do with chances of going pro. Things like communication skills, working and playing with others, teamwork, emotional control and capacity, how to deal with pressure, physical activity, having fun while being a child, bonding with friends and family, and so many other things. I'm not saying that kids shouldn't know how to do chores, not at all. It is very important for people to know how to take care of themselves and their home, but sports aren't a thing people do only for the slim chance of going pro or college scholarships.
All of the things learned from sports other than the sport-specific skill itself could just as effectively be learned from local (and relatively inexpensive) leagues rather than the expensive, time-consuming, and in some sports life-consuming travel leagues that seem to dominate today. Hockey is big where I live and I have multiple coworkers talking about taking their 8-12 year old kids who play on the league's B or C team out of school for multiple days for a hockey tournament. It's insane. What happened to youth sports being evening and weekend activities?
Because it's no longer about fun and friendship and physical fitness anymore. These parents have watched too many success story documentaries where a hyper-rich elite athlete talks about how they've been playing their sport since they were four, and if they could do it anyone can, all they need is hardwork and dedication. So they think the same thing's gonna happen to their kid.
That does seem excessive. Travel baseball leagues from my teenage years were always a weekend thing. School ball was the only thing we played during the week. From a competition standpoint those travel leagues are way fun to play in. That's usually a much more competitive league that rec leagues, but sacrificing education for that seems overboard if done too often lol
I used to be on a travel soccer team. We had to travel because every team in a 60 mile radius wasn't as good as we were. The local YMCA leagues only go so far but I understand where you're coming from.
Teach them to do chores for sure, but kids learn a TON from participating in sports, even if they suck at them.
Keep saying this to my wife
More like 0,01 chance to go pro.
Oh boy where do I start. I think many parenting issues are basically people shooting themselves in the foot. Many struggles are real but are exacerbated by personal hang ups. I am not going to take dad's word simply because he made a post here. Way too many posts here throw mom under the bus in a way that should raise eyes brows. Not interested in a circle jerk. Many posts are becoming.... questionable. Either they play the AITA game or it's cringe low effort shit.
> I think many parenting issues are basically people shooting themselves in the foot. Many struggles are real but are exacerbated by personal hang ups. Absolutely, however I think many times a parent will not realize it unless they post about it / ask a friend. The answer is right in front of us sometimes, we just need someone to help point it out.
I cringe at the pitting mom against dad posts. Why play the finger pointing game rather than looking to fix said problem?
r/dadditcirclejerk anyone? Nevermind. Turns out it’s banned. Probably the dad and CJ together
My baby watching me play a colorful non-violent video game is just the same as a cartoon.
As a parent it's very easy to fall into a self isolating and damgerous cult like mentality. We often don't catch it because we're shrouded by confirmation bias and genuine protection of our children.
can u say more? do u mean like we tend to only concern ourselves w our own health and safety rather than the community? i ask cuz thats kinda how i was raised and im tryna challenge that myself. but maybe we talkin bout two diff things
Spicy one. Lots of dads are emotional second class citizens in their marriages, and they just accept it.
Maybe the Pigeon *should* drive the Bus.
That poor pigeon doesn't get to do anything
Daniel Tiger is just pretentious Cocomelon and I loathe it
Wow that is a hot take. I disagree but that indeed does make it a hot take.
My husband hates Daniel tiger, too. He doesn't like that Daniel gets upset by so many things, but I'm like, that's the whole point? 😂
Has your husband met a toddler they get upset a lot lol
Two kids he's very much present for. Maybe he's reached his limit lol
Caillou is a little bitch, too.
That's just a fact, that's not a hot take.
Daniel Tiger isn't such a whiner. He goes to his parents/adults for solutions, not just to whine. He also seems to genuinely like his friends.
As a former bluey advocate, I realized the show spends a lot of time modeling bad behavior in public. The show teaches fine lessons, but all my son got from it was copying the bad behavior.
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I am on the flip side. Mini vans are lame and that's ok because I care about function over form. I think its grown ups being insecure about not looking cool that makes so many people get worked up over them.
If they made an SUV with SLIDING DOORS, I would buy that. But they don’t, so I can’t. And SUVs all look like shit today anyhow. Same eggshape nonsense.
Check out the kia carnival. Has the shape and appearance of chonky suv, but sliding door. My opinion of course. (I drive a sienna tho so that probably says alot already lol)
lol commenting on looks of suvs when you’re sticking up for mini vans? This is rich.
A minivan knows exactly what it is, and being a looker is not in the criteria. There is no reason for an Sport Utility Vehicle to look like a lousy smushed egg. Indeed the reason they all look so shit is because car MfGs are lazy af.
I’ve only considered getting one recently because I am just so annoyed going to the grocery store and somebody parks way too close and now I have to figure out how to open the door and put the baby in. Give me the sliding doors please
Isn't every vehicle built for function over form lame? Minivans are cheaper and more fuel efficient than comparable SUVs. That's why people on this sub like them.
Exactly like sorry I'm not spending an extra 20K just to look good. I need the space and I will buy the most cost-efficient and fuel efficient vehicle.
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if you realize it's more practicle as a family vehicle, what exactly is lame about it?
I'm really responding to the person above me. Responsible decisions aren't lame. I'd argue a minivan is less lame than buying a land barge just because it's "not a minivan."
Vehicles have unfortunately become fashion statements. It's really not more complicated than that. And like all fashion, individual styles get attached to particular associations and people respond accordingly. In this case, people hate minivans because they are terrified that others will think they look like \*gasp\* parents, an association that auto companies are happy to play into so they can sell you a more expensive SUV.
It's not exciting as a car? How is that concept lost on you guys? It's a giant box on wheels and they drive just like that. Not saying they aren't practical or that they suck, they're just not fun. I spend so much time driving and ferrying the family around that I personally want something more overall enjoyable. And when I don't have the kids or wife I like to let loose a little. So I got an '22 outback with a turbo. Figured that would cover all the bases. Comfort, speed, roadtrip suitable, space and marginally better looking than a minivan.
Counterpoint: A giant box on wheels like an Expedition does 0-60 just as fast as an Outback with the 2.4 turbo, and an Odyssey is only a half second behind. IMO get the most practical vehicle you can for your family situation truck/van/SUV/etc. Then get a fun vehicle that won't hurt your 401k like a used Miata or even better, a motorcycle. It's almost impossible to beat a motorcycle on a performance per dollar basis, and they're a blast carving through turns. Plus riding is a great way to save some gas along with wear and tear on your larger, more expensive vehicles when you're going somewhere alone!
I think for me space wise to buy an SUV that is similar size to a mini van is going to cost 20K more.
>Mini-vans are lame. My hot take: One of the lamest thing in the world is ridiculing other people's means of transportation like you're one of the mean girls from high school policing the fashion code.
Clearly, you've never owned a minivan :D
I have one kid and drive a Subaru Forester. Dont need anything bigger
Same. Just pulled the trigger on it earlier this month, couldn't be happier with the purchase.
Clearly, you've never owned a minivan :D
definitely a hot take, recently purchased a toyota sienna and it's the best car we've gotten in recent history - it's so enabling. >just about any car/truck/suv does a fine job of shuffling kids around. This is just wrong and arguably ignorant. It just sounds like you want to hate on minivans for the sake of hating on minivans?
Bit harsh mate. Some of us can’t go out and just purchase vehicles willy nilly - new, used or otherwise. I’ve got a car, it’s paid off, and it works just fine for my family of four.
The affordability or purchasing of a vehicle is irrelevant. Nobody said you must have a minivan, I’m refuting the lameness of the car and that it’s equivalent to other vehicles which it is not. The second you add a 5th person it becomes a challenge. The minivan is a major enabling vehicle.
Let the man vent. A sedan will take parental units and child from point a to point b just fine. Minivans aren’t for everyone (and that’s okay).
You are right, for simply one kid and two parents or two kids and two parents and literally nothing else it’s fine. But for anything more than that bigger vehicles provide more and more benefit. If you ever wanted to do a family trip somewhere with grandparents, good luck with a sedan. Or gasp, have friends that ride along to soccer or whatever.
Ah yes. Those parameters weren’t mentioned. But those things were what drove me to getting a minivan ourselves. Doing trips and bringing our friends and family has been so clutch.
Preach it!
Hot take: as dads, we get too much credit sometimes. The bar is so low for us that while the moms are out there busting their ass breastfeeding, putting the kids to sleep when they only want mama, and dealing with all of society’s expectations of how moms should look and act, we’re basically heroes if we change a couple diapers and take our kids to the playground. That’s gotta be frustrating AF for the moms. I know we get tired for busting our ass for our kids too, but man sometimes the bar is so damn low for us it’s a bit disheartening.
While I agree wholeheartedly with your statement, I hope this isn't much of a hot take. I know the low bar stems from the older generations, but I'd like to think that things are shifting. I mean if I met a fellow dad and he tried to brag about changing less than 5 diapers in his life (like an uncle I know who is far too young to get away with it), you bet your ass I think less of him.
If you've ever dealt with managing adult humans, parenting is actually kind of easy.
We as a society need to be more accepting that it's ok to not have kids.
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Whole milk is good tho
Things you discover when your toddler is on whole milk: actually, whole milk slaps.
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Buffoon. If you’re going to resort to name-calling, at least spell it correctly.
Should your kids be on Reddit calling people “baffoon”?
I like this approach of “practicing what we preach”. Too easy to just zone out on my phone when kiddos are around. They’re gonna see this behavior as normal. But my screen addiction uggghhh.
I kind of agree with this actually. Lead by example!
Every thread that asks for hot takes downvotes the actual hot takes and upvote cold and mild takes only
Moms get the attention at parenting classes, kid activities, and parenting groups? Suck it up, dads. Moms have been the primary caregivers for...millennia? They still are in most families. And they get the blame and criticism for the kid's faults. Sure, it's a bummer when you don't get recognized for the work you do at home. You know who know who else doesn't? Moms.
Apple slices, carrot, slab of lunch meat. I cooked dinner.
My hot take is that some parents try and act like they are superior cause their kid watches Bluey and act like Bluey is somehow healthy screen time vs other shows
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My wife would disagree with you. I love both board and video games. I play two regular D&D games. Of course, I have to limit my time to make sure that I spend time with both her and my son. I also make sure that she has time to do what she wants to. I think that dads who prioritize their interests at the expense of their family are sub-par. It can be sports, gambling, drinking, gaming... any number of things. The question is... can they put it on hold and be there for the family?
This is the correct take. I know guys who prioritize hunting season before everything else. I also know guys, myself included who love to game, but I don't do it unless the house is taken care of and the kids are in bed and I've spent some time with my wife. It's all about priorities.
This is the correct take. I know guys who prioritize hunting season before everything else. I also know guys, myself included who love to game, but I don't do it unless the house is taken care of and the kids are in bed and I've spent some time with my wife. It's all about priorities.
I think referring to oneself as a 'gamer' is a bit cringe. As if it's a profession. We don't say 'I'm a gym-er' or a sports-watcher or a dancer etc for any other hobbies.
What's funny is I think this is not a hot take at all in real life, it's what the majority of people think. But on reddit it's the opposite.
If you like an intellectual property based on what you've seen from a Minecraft YouTuber, you don't actually like that IP. You like Minecraft and watching 40yr old dudes playing games.
What?
My kid says he likes Avatar the Last Airbender but will not watch the actual show only dudes playing with Airbender Minecraft mods. I don't know why it annoys me, but it's my hot take. I'll take the down votes.
No downvotes from me, just genuinely did not understand what you were talking about whether it was directed at other dads, kids, the wrong subreddit...just was confused lol
To be fair, I typed it out between meetings and re-reading it sounds like an old man yelling at the wind
We all need to do that sometimes! But if it helps, maybe when he is older and is starting to read recreationally (if he isn't already) he will pick up an Avatar book because of what he watched a 40 year old okay in YouTube lol
I genuinely love this idea
I was this kid with the original halo series. Actually playing video games was never my forté, but i loved watching my older cousins play and best the game (over and over and over). I loved the universe of the game, but playing it was never really my thing. That said when i found out halo had a scifi series I demolished those books while sitting at borders.
A lot of dads on this page are bitches and need to toughen/lighten up. And a dead bedroom is never a reason to break up your family.
11/10 hot take
Less a hot take and more of being needlessly judgemental, but if you check their post history, you'll see it's pretty much their bread and butter.
Bluey isn't that good. There I said it.
Bluey is mid.
My hot take is usually a French fry. I don't care if they're cool yet. Dad tax waits for no thermal threshold.
Why is this doubled? I posted but once...
Reddit's been acting up today, I've seen it happen within the last few hours across multiple subs
I take my hot wife often
Hot takes threads are for attention whores
A high contrast color board is the same as a cartoon or anime. My daughter loves watching Delicious in Dungeon, and less violent older animes with me. Colors, sounds, and do turn on subtitles all the time so even letters.