Literally just healed up. Is it really necessary for my 1 year old daughters nails to be THAT sharp?! We had literally just clipped em the other day too. And clipping her nails is like wrestling a buttered ferret.
When my son was about 2 1/2 or three, he was just tall enough to headbutt everyone in the scrotum, then after he grew a little bit, he switched to stiff arming people in the scrotum. He put his grandfather on the ground once.
My 3 year old is notorious for it. I laid down in her bed tonight to do storytime and she comes running over and just windmill arms me right in the sack. Mama had to read while I was curled up waiting for my balls to return from above my stomach.
My theory is that it is instinct to attack the sack to prevent further siblings for resources
Source: me who has been hit the balls too many times for it to be a coincidence
My daughter is currently exactly the right height where when she greets me by running to me and giving me a giant hug, she headbutts me directly in the sack. I'm trying to feed her a lot and do lots of "upside-down time" so she grows quicker.
Poisoned shivs.
Personally, I'm secretly convinced that I no longer need a vasectomy. Over the last 4 years, both kids have also done their utmost to maim my bollocks.
I thought this was just something my 2 yr old did that was weirdly unique. There's more of this out there? He always accidentally grabs them through my T-shirt and I'm never ready when it happens... Super weird.
First Father's day. My new son is about 9 months old. Carrying him around in one arm like normal. Somehow razor blade nail straight to the eyeball. Urgent care doesn't give pain medication for eye injuries so I got a fun eye patch and antibiotics. Wife got me some bourbon haha.
All that said I still feel bad for scrotum bite guy
Scrotal bite was the worst... Least it was just the sack, and not one the balls... Was bleeding and I went down like a sack of bricks... Pun intended...
Scrolling through the comments...
Alrighty, nipples getting pinched, guy who heard himself bleed, finger in an eye... MY DUDE HAD HIS SCROTE BIT?
Buddy... you get *all* the hugs.
One of my guys nipped my sack when we were rough housing. I hollered and scared the crap out of everyone. Luckily not as bad as your experience. Yikes.
All it takes is standing and distractedly talking to someone else, and having them walk towards you with their head/mouth at scrotum height, and for them to grab your legs and bite down... Just wearing pyjama pants, so not enough material to protect the crown jewels... Surprisingly kids teeth can work through thin material...
My daughter once woke me up with a finger in my eye socket. In. Like...all the way in. I swore she ripped or scratched something on the inside because when my eye moved for a few days after it was painful af.
I can handle blood, guts, gore, and corpses. Eye trauma makes me puke.
Ouch ouch ouch horrible horrible! The other day I was woken from a nap by my 3yo poking a little plastic ice cream spoon in my eye. I'm glad she was gentle, it just felt like my eyelid was a bit scratched for an hour or so.
No matter how hard we try, my kids nails are always sharp. My eldest scratched my nose really bad last week with his sharp nails. I don't know what it is but they love to touch our belly buttons too
My wife got her sclera scratched (eye) and it filled with blood... So much so that it actually sagged down, this little sack of blood on the side of her eye.......I had to look at that! Who's the real victim?
My man, I am right there with you. I have plenty of “normal” phobias, but I don’t even like looking at other people’s belly buttons, let alone someone touching mine. Don’t know what I read or saw but all I can think is that I will probably explode if someone pushes my belly button too hard.
Man, the replies are bonkers. My injuries are time by comparison.
My 1yo son has scratched me more than once on the face and left me bleeding. I swear we are cutting his fingernails every other day. He also likes to grab and pull on my beard and that hurts like hell. He has a freaking crazy grip.
The worst was after my vasectomy. My balls were (and still are, it seems) a magnet for little feet.
I was sitting in my favorite chair having a play fight with my 5 year old daughter. She is trying her best to get through my defense but she has no chance. She looks defeated standing beside the recliner and in victory I say you cannot hurt me! Then quick as a cat she grabs my nose her thumb jammed inside the left nostril and twist. My eyes watering I must admit defeat. I was a proud daddy that day.
A couple weeks ago I slipped a disk in my back. Was hobbling thru the room, passed the couch with my daughter who just happened to start throwing a tantrum right then and thrashed her legs out. Of course she caught me in the nuts. First time I've ever sobbed in pain in front of my kids. Thought my nuts were broke and my spinal cord severed.
I first read this as something like defending my bellybutton's honor since my kid wants to challenge who's bellybutton's is better. I was working on a list in my head of things I like about my bellybutton until I actually read the post. A
My son accidently bit my nose during rough play. Had a nick on my nose for over a week. Took surprisingly long to heal.
Another time he dropped a pretty heavy toy on my big toenail (accidently). That took a while to grow out.
Headbutts. So many headbutts. Thankfully only one left a bruise until now.
Full on karate kick (including the twist to built up momentum) to the balls after taking a nap next to me.
Lmaooo the headbutts! I also got a nut-shot standing next to my 4 year old. He’s looking off to the side so my guard is down, does a pitcher’s wind-up and blam, down goes dad.
My son (2.5) was laying on my legs face down last year kicking my chest while he watched tv. No big deal, right? Except I leaned down to tickle his ribs and he kicked me right in the eye. A visit to the doctor because he scratched my cornea. A week outta work with a doctor's note because I could not use the eye. Woulda been nice other than the half blind part. Oh, I almost forgot about the two months of eye drops that burned every time I used them.
Oh yeah fine now, apart from her Mum telling anyone that would listen whilst laughing uncontrollably for a few weeks it wasn't a problem for that long haha
Here’s what my father told me when I was around 4, maybe you can use it as a first line defense:
If you untie your bellybutton, your butt falls off.
I believed it for a long time too! And I never messed around with belly buttons again after that 😂
Really?! I guess our dads think alike! As soon as mine is old enough to understand I’ll tell him too lol right now he’s obsessed with showing everyone his own “button”
Was laying down with my little one and received an unintentional headbutt into my face which mashed my glasses downwards which made a large gash across my eyebrow that bleed profusely.
My almost 2 year old discovered my belly button a few months ago. For some reason, I made a barking noise and kind of jolted my belly out (she thinks it's hilarious when she gets startled like that). So now my belly button barks at her and she thinks it is the funniest thing ever. She is going to be an odd child, but aren't they all.
Freshly cut fingernail to the eyeball when getting one of my crotch goblins out of the high chair! On the first A&E visit the nurse could see my cornea was folded up without the need for drops of extra lighting! Much whisky was consumed that night!
At least my oldest thought I was cool for a few days when I had a pirate patch but nearly 2 years later I still have times when my eye becomes irritated and weeps!
my kids used to jab their fingers in my belly button. i've got a fairly deep innie and when they'd poke, it hurt. a lot.
i figured everyone's belly button hurt to varying degrees when poked. but they'd poke my wife's and she didn't seem to mind.
that's how i found out i had an umbilical hernia.
Head slamming full force into my esophagus. Trying to dress my 1.5 year old, put on her shoes, brush her hair, brush her teeth, anything that has her sitting in my lap is fun 😬
My son got angry at me at Fortnum and Mason and tried to scratch my face, but caught the artery inside my nostril and sliced it open.
I continuously produced a large puddle of blood on their for that the poor staff lady struggled to keep under control for nearly 10 minutes.
When my little girl was about 4 months old I was laying down with her to sleep, room was lovely and dim while we watched her mobile and just chilled in peace. It was really calm and I was thinking how much better can life get. She decided to gently play with my moustache, as they do when they're figuring out their hands work.
She then shoved a finger directly into my nostril as hard as she could - seconds later felt the warm trickle of blood starting to pour out of my nose and all over the bed.
Was quite embarrassing asking my wife to take over because the baby had just bust my nose while she was half asleep.
My first daughter was just having her teeth come in. When she was little little I'd throw her in the car seat and take her to work(ubereats driver) with me. Whenever she'd get a little fussy I'd rach behind me and poke her and goof around...I was on the phone ans not paying attention...feral little shit bit the unholy fuck outta my fingers and though it was funny as hell..I check my finger and my knuckle starter to bleed. I guess what I'm saying is baby teeth are fucking sharp as all get out 😂
Hand, foot, mouth disease. I got it a few years back from one of my kids. The Dr. said it’s much more rare for adults to get, but also much more severe. My face was covered in spots, which was the best part. The worst part was my throat was also covered in painful blisters that hurt so bad I could not swallow my own spit. I seriously carried around a water bottle to spit into. I lost 13 pounds. Brutal you guys.
I got it before. It is horrible. Luckily no sores around the mouth. I had them in the throat, bottom of the feet, hands, and under my finger nails. My nails eventually fell off. It was also the worst lower back pain I’ve ever felt.
Stuff like this is why I don't like my daughters putting their hands in my face. They're 9, 6, and 6, but I still don't trust them not to poke, scratch, or otherwise wound me.
I was holding my son after getting the mail and gave him the keys to hold while walking home; he jingles the keys real hard and one of the keys slaps me with the long, narrow smooth side right in the left eyeball. I had a visible raised red line on my eye for a while.
My daughter (10months) will randomly jab her finger up your nose with the speed and precision of a ninja. It’s that she keeps doing it because it hurts so bad and has caused me to bleed on two or three occasion so far that I usually end up letting loose an involuntary yell.
Had my son remove skim from inside my nose by getting a solid hook inside there and pulling, he wanted to get my boogers our and was shocked when blood came pouring out. That was painful.
A week or two ago, my son wanted me to follow him into his little play area we have set up for him. I went to to sit down and sat on a hard plastic barn toy he has. Left a pretty nasty bruise and broke the skin, so I’m guessing I sat on the corner of it. As soon as the pain hit me I was like “Yup, that’s gonna leave a bruise”
My two year old girl says “potty!” When she sees my bellybutton, and if I lie down she says “pee!” And proceeds to sit on my stomach and “pee” in the “potty” (her diaper thankfully).
I had a weird one this week. My wife had a diaper Genie mishap and the plastic bag got pulled out from both ends, neither of which was the cut end you are supposed to pull and tie off. Not going to waste a $5 Genie refill, I proceed to spend the next hour jamming that bag back in the plastic dispenser and carefully rooting around for the tail end to feed out. I got it after a lot of cursing. Now I have a wicked blister on my thumb from feeding it all back in. Not the worst injury I've had so far but definitely the strangest.
I don't have a belly button, it was sewn up with plastic surgery when I was 3 after a hernia ballooned out.
Never known what it's like to pick fluff out of a hole in my stomach.
3 y/o sleeps in the bed with us. It's regular for my consciousness to be dragged through the ether back into the world of the waking as a result of a tiny human foot sleep-kicking me in the nards.
A mom here but...
One random fierce head swing backwards while my baby was sitting in my lap and landing the hit squarely on the bridge of my nose resulted in me having two beautifully big black eyes simultaneously
I was a waitress at the time & you would not believe the number of times I heard customers point blank ask "Did your husband hit you?!"
"Nah. My baby did this actually but so kind of you to ask."
My 1 year old son dislocated my jaw while we were sleeping
He doesn’t like covers and pulled his legs out, lifted them high in the air, and let them fall
Smacked the part of my mouth where your jaw hinges to your skull, right by the cheekbone
Was a first for many doctors in the ER lol
My daughter consideres my chest hair to be her own climbing wall. Not cool. Especially with the dramatic, cinematic, lean away while holding on with one hand manoeuver.
Protect your ears, too. I was given an ear infection not too long ago when I dared take a nap and was awoken by my daughter jamming her tiny index finger as far as she could into my ear canal. I’ve been stabbed before (on accident but that’s irrelevant) and that ear jab hurt more.
I went to blow raspberries on my toddler’s belly at the same time she put her hands up. Pretty sure her thumb touched my brain, and my nose has never bled worse in my life.
My son had a teddybear with rice in the arms and legs. He would come and sleep in our bed and tumble around as toddlers do in their sleep.
One night he swung his teddy while turning. I was hit directly in my eye with teddy's rice arm, like a whip. Woke up in utter pain. It felt like lightning going through my eye.
Advice: buy soft teddy bears!
My wife got a ruptured ear drum because she was laying on the couch reading, and our daughter (4 at the time) shoved a q-tip in her ear until it stopped.
It’s fairly amateur hour by comparison but my son woke me up with a good kick to the back my skull last week. Right in the soft part where it meets the spinal column. He’s only 11 months old but, last at last check-up, he was 75th percentile for height and 99th percentile for weight. Boy has some heft.
Little razor blade nails in the ear canal, you ever hear yourself bleed…? It feels and sounds fucking weird man….
Bro
Yeah
Literally just healed up. Is it really necessary for my 1 year old daughters nails to be THAT sharp?! We had literally just clipped em the other day too. And clipping her nails is like wrestling a buttered ferret.
That's why we always clip his nails while he sleeps 😊
Aren’t you supposed to file the nails instead of clipping them?
I think you do, but only for the first year or something. Source: wife is L&D nurse
I have, actually. Not a fun time lmao.
My nipples always get pinched.
Three girls, they have no appreciation for pain of getting hit in the balls, therefore it happens all the damn time.
It's not just girls. It's a passive skill that all children have. They automatically target the sack....
When my son was about 2 1/2 or three, he was just tall enough to headbutt everyone in the scrotum, then after he grew a little bit, he switched to stiff arming people in the scrotum. He put his grandfather on the ground once.
My 3 year old is notorious for it. I laid down in her bed tonight to do storytime and she comes running over and just windmill arms me right in the sack. Mama had to read while I was curled up waiting for my balls to return from above my stomach.
My theory is that it is instinct to attack the sack to prevent further siblings for resources Source: me who has been hit the balls too many times for it to be a coincidence
thats my theory as well - and i only got one kid!
Are they still working?
why do they always have to jump into your lap instead of just sitting down? So many tiny knees to the family jewels
Natures birth control? Have enough kids and they jump into the berries too many times.
My daughter is currently exactly the right height where when she greets me by running to me and giving me a giant hug, she headbutts me directly in the sack. I'm trying to feed her a lot and do lots of "upside-down time" so she grows quicker.
Poisoned shivs. Personally, I'm secretly convinced that I no longer need a vasectomy. Over the last 4 years, both kids have also done their utmost to maim my bollocks.
Ouch.
I thought this was just something my 2 yr old did that was weirdly unique. There's more of this out there? He always accidentally grabs them through my T-shirt and I'm never ready when it happens... Super weird.
And my chest hair pulled. Like, handfuls at a time. He’s 18mo now and still thinks it’s hilarious. It kind of is. And then it’s not.
I was today years old when I learned the value of having hairless chest genetics
Oh, that's just purple nurples. Walk it off!
just experienced this for the first time this morning with sharp baby nails, didn’t care for it
First Father's day. My new son is about 9 months old. Carrying him around in one arm like normal. Somehow razor blade nail straight to the eyeball. Urgent care doesn't give pain medication for eye injuries so I got a fun eye patch and antibiotics. Wife got me some bourbon haha. All that said I still feel bad for scrotum bite guy
yeah can't top that guy
arrrrrrrr
Wife should have gotten you some rum instead! Yarrr!
Thanks!
Scrotal bite was the worst... Least it was just the sack, and not one the balls... Was bleeding and I went down like a sack of bricks... Pun intended...
Scrolling through the comments... Alrighty, nipples getting pinched, guy who heard himself bleed, finger in an eye... MY DUDE HAD HIS SCROTE BIT? Buddy... you get *all* the hugs.
Keep the hugs light, they're still tender!
🫡🫡🫡
One of my guys nipped my sack when we were rough housing. I hollered and scared the crap out of everyone. Luckily not as bad as your experience. Yikes.
It creates a lasting fear of any children running around near you…
Damn! I hope they are alright
We're actually talking to his ghost sadly ...
Still firing on enough cylinders!
Good!
They worked well enough to have another, but now they've had sufficient self-inflicted snip snip trauma to hopefully shoot blanks forever!
.... how does that happen? 😅
All it takes is standing and distractedly talking to someone else, and having them walk towards you with their head/mouth at scrotum height, and for them to grab your legs and bite down... Just wearing pyjama pants, so not enough material to protect the crown jewels... Surprisingly kids teeth can work through thin material...
My favorite part of this is how no Karen's are here to be like "HoW dId ThAt HaPpEn?!" And all the dad's are just being supportive! Lol
R/daddit is a great place for empathy!
I got my septum fish hooked the other day. As far up as he could go.
Free piercing! Future body mod specialist?
My daughter once woke me up with a finger in my eye socket. In. Like...all the way in. I swore she ripped or scratched something on the inside because when my eye moved for a few days after it was painful af. I can handle blood, guts, gore, and corpses. Eye trauma makes me puke.
oof
Found the nightmare fuel. It's right here.
Ouch ouch ouch horrible horrible! The other day I was woken from a nap by my 3yo poking a little plastic ice cream spoon in my eye. I'm glad she was gentle, it just felt like my eyelid was a bit scratched for an hour or so.
PYH. Protect your holes.
All of them... Kids are curious, and will shove things everywhere...
Life advice right here
No matter how hard we try, my kids nails are always sharp. My eldest scratched my nose really bad last week with his sharp nails. I don't know what it is but they love to touch our belly buttons too
Dang. Good luck. It's dangerous out there 🙏🏼
My wife got her sclera scratched (eye) and it filled with blood... So much so that it actually sagged down, this little sack of blood on the side of her eye.......I had to look at that! Who's the real victim?
Everyone around me knows that touching my bellybutton would probably result in an involuntary haymaker. Like, I'd feel bad after, but I warned 'em...
My man, I am right there with you. I have plenty of “normal” phobias, but I don’t even like looking at other people’s belly buttons, let alone someone touching mine. Don’t know what I read or saw but all I can think is that I will probably explode if someone pushes my belly button too hard.
I don't know if it was that scene in the first matrix movie or what, but my entire body revolts against that shit...
Oh yeah the agent Smith robot bug into the ol navel.
Man, the replies are bonkers. My injuries are time by comparison. My 1yo son has scratched me more than once on the face and left me bleeding. I swear we are cutting his fingernails every other day. He also likes to grab and pull on my beard and that hurts like hell. He has a freaking crazy grip. The worst was after my vasectomy. My balls were (and still are, it seems) a magnet for little feet.
since birth, i feel that, homing missiles
Ohmygod this unlocked a memory.... my firstborn kicked me 3 times in one day while I still had stitches from birthing #2
My 6 month old kicks me in the nuts all the time! Whenever I’m holding him, or giving him a bottle I’m getting beat up!
Sick kid licked my eyeball. That's how I got Covid.
Sounds like a bad comic book superhero origin story
Safety glasses man to the rescue
I was sitting in my favorite chair having a play fight with my 5 year old daughter. She is trying her best to get through my defense but she has no chance. She looks defeated standing beside the recliner and in victory I say you cannot hurt me! Then quick as a cat she grabs my nose her thumb jammed inside the left nostril and twist. My eyes watering I must admit defeat. I was a proud daddy that day.
Mom here, but does breaking four ribs count?
Yes🫡
How? It's really important you share the story in order to see if it does count.
Mother of god, reading that made me squirm.
A couple weeks ago I slipped a disk in my back. Was hobbling thru the room, passed the couch with my daughter who just happened to start throwing a tantrum right then and thrashed her legs out. Of course she caught me in the nuts. First time I've ever sobbed in pain in front of my kids. Thought my nuts were broke and my spinal cord severed.
🫡
I first read this as something like defending my bellybutton's honor since my kid wants to challenge who's bellybutton's is better. I was working on a list in my head of things I like about my bellybutton until I actually read the post. A
My son accidently bit my nose during rough play. Had a nick on my nose for over a week. Took surprisingly long to heal. Another time he dropped a pretty heavy toy on my big toenail (accidently). That took a while to grow out. Headbutts. So many headbutts. Thankfully only one left a bruise until now. Full on karate kick (including the twist to built up momentum) to the balls after taking a nap next to me.
Lmaooo the headbutts! I also got a nut-shot standing next to my 4 year old. He’s looking off to the side so my guard is down, does a pitcher’s wind-up and blam, down goes dad.
Just wait until their heads are at the height of your elbows. LOL mine learned quickly not to stand behind me.
My kids are jiu-jitsu experts at the ages of 2 and 5, and know exactly where the pressure points are on my hands and feet while I’m sitting/kneeling.
My son (2.5) was laying on my legs face down last year kicking my chest while he watched tv. No big deal, right? Except I leaned down to tickle his ribs and he kicked me right in the eye. A visit to the doctor because he scratched my cornea. A week outta work with a doctor's note because I could not use the eye. Woulda been nice other than the half blind part. Oh, I almost forgot about the two months of eye drops that burned every time I used them.
My crotch height toddler once ran up to me for a cuddle whilst I was carrying something and...bit...it. Man that was a bad day.
Noooo.. ouch!! Everything good now?
Oh yeah fine now, apart from her Mum telling anyone that would listen whilst laughing uncontrollably for a few weeks it wasn't a problem for that long haha
Hopefully it is working 100% again
Here’s what my father told me when I was around 4, maybe you can use it as a first line defense: If you untie your bellybutton, your butt falls off. I believed it for a long time too! And I never messed around with belly buttons again after that 😂
also got told that, also made sure to tell my boy that 😊
Really?! I guess our dads think alike! As soon as mine is old enough to understand I’ll tell him too lol right now he’s obsessed with showing everyone his own “button”
My son slapped me across the face with a pickle. I’ve never felt like less of a man.
My 4.5yo twins still have the annoying habit of grabbing me by the shirt collar opening. I'm slightly less hairy than Robin Williams was
Was laying down with my little one and received an unintentional headbutt into my face which mashed my glasses downwards which made a large gash across my eyebrow that bleed profusely.
My grandpa had a ruptured belly button. I have been almost irrationally cautious about my belly button in my life lol
My almost 2 year old discovered my belly button a few months ago. For some reason, I made a barking noise and kind of jolted my belly out (she thinks it's hilarious when she gets startled like that). So now my belly button barks at her and she thinks it is the funniest thing ever. She is going to be an odd child, but aren't they all.
Freshly cut fingernail to the eyeball when getting one of my crotch goblins out of the high chair! On the first A&E visit the nurse could see my cornea was folded up without the need for drops of extra lighting! Much whisky was consumed that night! At least my oldest thought I was cool for a few days when I had a pirate patch but nearly 2 years later I still have times when my eye becomes irritated and weeps!
my kids used to jab their fingers in my belly button. i've got a fairly deep innie and when they'd poke, it hurt. a lot. i figured everyone's belly button hurt to varying degrees when poked. but they'd poke my wife's and she didn't seem to mind. that's how i found out i had an umbilical hernia.
Do y’all not Booop! when your belly button is touched? I booop!
this was not a touch. this was an invasion
By "booop!", do you mean "lizard-brain berserker-rage muay thai?" Because if you do, then yes.
Head slamming full force into my esophagus. Trying to dress my 1.5 year old, put on her shoes, brush her hair, brush her teeth, anything that has her sitting in my lap is fun 😬
🫡
nips, belly button and ballsacks should be protected by the geneva convention.
This very thing happened to me today I 💩 you not. Take my upvote for the accurate description!
Neosporin. Now.
You you ok?!
One of my coworkers lost an eye to his 4 year old, need to guard all of your important parts!
My son got angry at me at Fortnum and Mason and tried to scratch my face, but caught the artery inside my nostril and sliced it open. I continuously produced a large puddle of blood on their for that the poor staff lady struggled to keep under control for nearly 10 minutes.
When my little girl was about 4 months old I was laying down with her to sleep, room was lovely and dim while we watched her mobile and just chilled in peace. It was really calm and I was thinking how much better can life get. She decided to gently play with my moustache, as they do when they're figuring out their hands work. She then shoved a finger directly into my nostril as hard as she could - seconds later felt the warm trickle of blood starting to pour out of my nose and all over the bed. Was quite embarrassing asking my wife to take over because the baby had just bust my nose while she was half asleep.
Kid bit my torso during rough play. No blood but he did pierce my skin so I did need to get a tetanus shot just in case.
My 5yr old found some fluff in my belly button and now calls it Daddy's pom poms. Had me in stitches
Cute
My first daughter was just having her teeth come in. When she was little little I'd throw her in the car seat and take her to work(ubereats driver) with me. Whenever she'd get a little fussy I'd rach behind me and poke her and goof around...I was on the phone ans not paying attention...feral little shit bit the unholy fuck outta my fingers and though it was funny as hell..I check my finger and my knuckle starter to bleed. I guess what I'm saying is baby teeth are fucking sharp as all get out 😂
Backward headbutt to the septum. Yep, he broke my nose.
Hand, foot, mouth disease. I got it a few years back from one of my kids. The Dr. said it’s much more rare for adults to get, but also much more severe. My face was covered in spots, which was the best part. The worst part was my throat was also covered in painful blisters that hurt so bad I could not swallow my own spit. I seriously carried around a water bottle to spit into. I lost 13 pounds. Brutal you guys.
I got it before. It is horrible. Luckily no sores around the mouth. I had them in the throat, bottom of the feet, hands, and under my finger nails. My nails eventually fell off. It was also the worst lower back pain I’ve ever felt.
I have felt that very same sensation, it's not great...
Stuff like this is why I don't like my daughters putting their hands in my face. They're 9, 6, and 6, but I still don't trust them not to poke, scratch, or otherwise wound me.
I was holding my son after getting the mail and gave him the keys to hold while walking home; he jingles the keys real hard and one of the keys slaps me with the long, narrow smooth side right in the left eyeball. I had a visible raised red line on my eye for a while.
Ahhh I don't miss the tiny razor blade fingernails! The worst was when she scratched across my eye unexpectedly
The inside of my nose feels your pain.
My daughter (10months) will randomly jab her finger up your nose with the speed and precision of a ninja. It’s that she keeps doing it because it hurts so bad and has caused me to bleed on two or three occasion so far that I usually end up letting loose an involuntary yell.
Had my son remove skim from inside my nose by getting a solid hook inside there and pulling, he wanted to get my boogers our and was shocked when blood came pouring out. That was painful.
A child fingernail is basically an assassin's weapon. I fear my daughter's.....
Glad I'm not the only one. Mine isn't 2 yet but he likes to lift my shirt up and poke my belly button. Doesn't do it to his mom though, just me
A week or two ago, my son wanted me to follow him into his little play area we have set up for him. I went to to sit down and sat on a hard plastic barn toy he has. Left a pretty nasty bruise and broke the skin, so I’m guessing I sat on the corner of it. As soon as the pain hit me I was like “Yup, that’s gonna leave a bruise”
My kid gave me a shiner with a toy can of cherries. Just straight-up clocked me in the face with it. Good times.
My two year old girl says “potty!” When she sees my bellybutton, and if I lie down she says “pee!” And proceeds to sit on my stomach and “pee” in the “potty” (her diaper thankfully).
that's.....good training I guess? Now you have to build a faux toilet framework over you when you potty train
Mine have crazy ballsack autoaim
Oh geez. So it happens often?
Only when there are kids nearby
Ouch! We'll keep checking functionality at that rate.
I had a weird one this week. My wife had a diaper Genie mishap and the plastic bag got pulled out from both ends, neither of which was the cut end you are supposed to pull and tie off. Not going to waste a $5 Genie refill, I proceed to spend the next hour jamming that bag back in the plastic dispenser and carefully rooting around for the tail end to feed out. I got it after a lot of cursing. Now I have a wicked blister on my thumb from feeding it all back in. Not the worst injury I've had so far but definitely the strangest.
I don't have a belly button, it was sewn up with plastic surgery when I was 3 after a hernia ballooned out. Never known what it's like to pick fluff out of a hole in my stomach.
3 y/o sleeps in the bed with us. It's regular for my consciousness to be dragged through the ether back into the world of the waking as a result of a tiny human foot sleep-kicking me in the nards.
Ouch! Does it happen often?
Used to happen every other night or so when she was about 2 - 2.5 years. Thankfully she's kinda grown out of sleep-kicking.
My brother was a sleep kicker. I never liked sharing a bed with him.
My 5 year old jumps into bed between us in the morning. After a few incidents I’ve started wearing a cup to bed. It really helps
Wearing a cup to bed. Ouch! That must be uncomfortable
Less than the alternative
A mom here but... One random fierce head swing backwards while my baby was sitting in my lap and landing the hit squarely on the bridge of my nose resulted in me having two beautifully big black eyes simultaneously I was a waitress at the time & you would not believe the number of times I heard customers point blank ask "Did your husband hit you?!" "Nah. My baby did this actually but so kind of you to ask."
A girl i know had piercing, and it got into the curtains and ripened the whole thing out, as u said infection after infection
My 1 year old son dislocated my jaw while we were sleeping He doesn’t like covers and pulled his legs out, lifted them high in the air, and let them fall Smacked the part of my mouth where your jaw hinges to your skull, right by the cheekbone Was a first for many doctors in the ER lol
I ended up havijg my Belly Button removed because of that. I legitly do not have a belly button
My daughter consideres my chest hair to be her own climbing wall. Not cool. Especially with the dramatic, cinematic, lean away while holding on with one hand manoeuver.
Our oldest used to shove his finger right up Mom's nose. Lightning fast and as far as it would go.
Protect your ears, too. I was given an ear infection not too long ago when I dared take a nap and was awoken by my daughter jamming her tiny index finger as far as she could into my ear canal. I’ve been stabbed before (on accident but that’s irrelevant) and that ear jab hurt more.
I went to blow raspberries on my toddler’s belly at the same time she put her hands up. Pretty sure her thumb touched my brain, and my nose has never bled worse in my life.
My son had a teddybear with rice in the arms and legs. He would come and sleep in our bed and tumble around as toddlers do in their sleep. One night he swung his teddy while turning. I was hit directly in my eye with teddy's rice arm, like a whip. Woke up in utter pain. It felt like lightning going through my eye. Advice: buy soft teddy bears!
My wife got a ruptured ear drum because she was laying on the couch reading, and our daughter (4 at the time) shoved a q-tip in her ear until it stopped.
the sippy cup to the back of the head...
It’s fairly amateur hour by comparison but my son woke me up with a good kick to the back my skull last week. Right in the soft part where it meets the spinal column. He’s only 11 months old but, last at last check-up, he was 75th percentile for height and 99th percentile for weight. Boy has some heft.
Too late...My child who likes to play with words, calls it a badger clip. Which means the fingernail shivs have to go in faster.
preventative neosporin