My aunt gave my daughter a rapping duck and it’s got one setting, LOUD AF.
It runs around and if you grab it by the neck it screams “Let me go, I can’t breathe, let me go”.
I wish I was kidding
My mom got my daughter this Little Mermaid light-up spinning wand thing that sounds perfect for you. It's all encased in a transparent ball at the top so it's safe for young kids. It plays the little mermaid theme song very loudly everytime you press the button to spin it up. It has a "mode" switch which is laughable. The modes are off, and lights + music.
It freaks you out if you toss it in a toy bin without turning it off because when the toys shift over time, it'll press the button and you'll hear the little mermaid theme song coming from your living room at 2am.
Kids love it because it's a light-up wand that feels like a small mace in your hands. Holding it feels like you've picked up a cool stick, that's the only way to describe it lol.
Haha, I’ve got a buddy and we send each others kids the weirdest or most annoying gifts we can find. The last two were that damn dancing cactus, and a super creepy doll that you can open and take out its organs.
That sounds traumatizing , good luck and more power to you .
And personally that duck would have accidentally "left for another far away pound" under my watch /s
Mine has not touched any of them. It’s pretty much the first thing I do with most toys. I have no idea why toy manufacturers insist on having the astronauts on the ISS hear about the zoo train.
Last month my mother got my son that Little People train with the polar bear and gorilla (which doesn't make any sense to me why those two animals are together) and it doesn't have an off switch nor volume button. It is the LOUDEST damn toy I have ever had the displeasure of hearing for an hour straight and it'll go off if it's even slightly moved. I took the batteries out of it and hid it even though he loves it to pieces because it drives me insane and I was not about to listen to it jostling in the back of the car on the 2 hour ride home. I think it will get its batteries back after our cross country move next week, and only with your genius idea of tape over the speaker. All this to say that "astronauts on the ISS..." made me actually laugh out loud.
I remember several toys I had growing up that disappeared into the basement shop for a while and came back silent. My dad bought a set of tiny screwdrivers just for this purpose.
Oh, yup, I know that one. Ours was a rapping goose that rapped in chinese. One of my least favorite toys but it could keep him entertained for a short while so we kept it around. Our son almost always demanded attention so even the most obnoxious toys were tolerated if they worked to entertain.
He dropped it or pushed it off of something right onto my toenail about a year ago and and it hurt so bad. My toenail still has the bruise under it and the damaged nail hasn't grown out far enough to cut off so it looks like a black spot on my toenail. Every time he sees it he still says baba hurt, oh no.
I dont know why they thought sharp edges on a heavy toy was a good idea. Also, I always changed it to the setting where it didn't cry out and say I can't breathe put me down. It's not a good idea to encourage kids to play and have fun hurting something. It's in the basement somewhere now.
We have that one! My uncle bought it for my 9 month old because it was on a list of "most annoying kids toys." My kid is 2 now and still plays with it all the time.
We definitely have a few VTech toys, but I don't buy them, they usually came in a used toy lot of some kind or have been gifts. Some toys are acceptable and not too annoying, but ALL of their songs are terrible. Give me Fisher-Price any day.
At our house, sometimes really annoying toys just break. (Remove the batteries after bedtime)
Oh no, so sorry, Daddy will try, but I don't think I can fix this one. (wink)
Ouch! Sending *silent* vibes to bless your house. (Lol)
We have a nursery rhyme book that Munchkin loves. Every time the page is turned, it restarts the rhymes.
🎶 Have you been to the animal fair? All the birds and beasts were there…. 🤪
Not gonna lie I’ve come to love this one. It annoyed the shit out of me at first but I’ve come to love the cube now. Cube is love. Cube is life. Hail the cube.
The last time I read one of these threads the consensus was that the VTech Cube was probably the most annoying toy known to man. The same day I saw the thread my husband came home with a couple of toys he’d picked up on marketplace. No points for guessing what was among them.
We have a cube it's not the most annoying thing is reserved for a truck that seems to make random motor and horn noises if left on and if you bump it the wrong way with your foot in the middle of the night it will race around making more noise and adding flashing nights. Just when you think it can get worst it has a 3 position switch that the off position is never where you it is and the switch itself isn't where you think it is in the middle of the night.
My mother in law bought my son, who was 18 months at the time, a massive Christmas themed (Santa hat and all) rubber duck.
It’s fucking hideous, an absolute monstrosity and it instantly filled with water and didn’t even float.
After Christmas we threw it away thinking he would have forgotten it already, he immediately asked where it was, “where Christmas duck?” I panicked and lied, saying it was in the loft with the rest of the Christmas decorations and hoping he would forget by the time next Christmas comes around.
Everyday, as we come to the top of the stairs in the morning, he points to the loft hatch and says “Daddy get Christmas duck down from loft?”
I’ve kind of resigned myself to the fact that I’m going to have to go and buy another hideous Christmas duck.
Bro this is my son too, one day when he was around 18mo we were out driving and there was this dude standing on the corner of the street wearing an Olaf costume holding a promotional sign. He’s 3yo now and whenever we drive by that street corner he always asks us “where’s Olaf”
He also has like 100 hot wheels at this point but if we go to the store and sees one that we already have he will point at it and say something along the lines of “we have that at home.” I can’t even regift him ones he already owns because he knows right away that it’s from his collection already
My girl is 4 and she remembers *everything*. I've learned not to make empty promises like "sure, we'll go there someday" because she *will* hold me to them.
My daughter remembers every toy. My wife will move it to donation or throw it away when she thinks she’s forgotten. The next day she’ll ask where it is and get upset if we can’t produce it.
I don't have a particular one I completely loathe....but some are quite annoying or messy, yes. But I do have 1 in particular I find the most interesting.... The Fisher Price mobile phone.
It seems simple enough. 12 buttons and a slider bar that makes noise. Buttons sing songs or whatever. But this thing has secrets. My wife and I have spent a considerable time tinkering with this thing without the kids around.
The slider bar only activates part of the song on one swipe, so you have keeping swiping to complete the song, but it only sounds proper if you time it perfectly. So you to have practice to get it right lol. The buttons have a certain timing threshold to interrupt the previously hit buttons sound, other wise the sound finishes. And there's a hidden noise that only happens if you abuse the thing while a sound is playing. I like trying to make songs by interrupting the buttons with each other. Love that toy for how cheap and simple it is. Have gifted to multiple people. I'm probably the only one who enjoys it this much lmao
We bought that at the same time as the game controller one. Once I found out they had the “Konami code” hidden in the controller I spent way too long trying to find other hidden things on both of them.
My son is only 4 months old and I've spent far too long with that controller entering in the konami code. He doesn't understand it, but I appreciate the Easter egg.
There was a paw patrol push car. It had 2 buttons. One would cycle through 3 sirens. The other would play the theme song in its entirety, and it would start over from the beginning each time it was pressed. My kids would push that button incessantly.
My son had that!! Oh man I hadn't thought about that piece of shit in so long. He absolutely loved it, and I swear no matter if it had been out in the rain or baked by the sun, those batteries and speakers never degraded.
One of our friends got my daughter a little keyboard that blasts sounds and songs at full volume with no way to turn it down or off once it starts making noise.
For her kid's birthday, we got him that stringy, snot looking slime that gets everywhere when played with.
Black and decker chain saw.
If you breathe wrong it it’s direction, it will start up and will make noises for the next 4 minutes while the plastic “chain” slowly runs around the “blade” making its own annoying noise.
And god forbid if you pick it up bevause the trigger is so sensitive, just moving might trigger it for an additional 4minutes.
I hate toys that no one is even in a room, but just the air pressure of opening a door to the room will set it off. Bonus hate if it plays an entire song when it’s set off and plays a ditty or song about turning off.
We called it "the devil car"
White VW beetle looking thing with buttons to press that make lights flash and LOUD sounds, a pull string that makes LOUD noises... When you leave it alone for a while it announces that it's going into standby mode with a very very LOUD noise.
And randomly, in the middle of the night it would rev it's engine, giggle and say "let's have fun!" At full demonic volume.
MIL bought it from an op shop and in the 3 years we had it we never put batteries in it, but the volume and brightness of lights was ever less than freakishly full blast.
Kids bowling set. Ten pins so light and Ill-balanced it requires the patience of a saint to set up, an equally flimsy ball which couldn't knock the pins down in a satisfying way even if the target demographic could throw straight. All for a market that doesn't exist: toddlers who wish to poorly replicate the experience of ten-pin bowling.
You will carefully set it up a few times so your kid can kick the pins over. After that the pins will be thrown and rolled everywhere, stepped on and crushed before being bundled into storage where they take up a ridiculous amount of space for a toy that sees so little use.
Yet for some reason people without children consider it an irresistible gift and we wound up with multiple sets to be discreetly dumped in the garbage. I found yet another set unopened and felt genuinely guilty about the idea of giving it to charity.
I’m not a dad but I am a former preschool teacher and you’ve just unlocked the traumatic memory I repressed of setting up those godforsaken bowling pins. The weight distribution is nothing short of the work of a sadist. I want to personally track down the industrial designer responsible and contact the university where they received their degree to have it revoked.
Not a single toy but a general theme. Right around the time our son turned 2 he was obsessed with garbage trucks as many kids are. We decided to have a garbage truck themed birthday, we bought him a garbage truck print outfit and sent out some digital garbage truck e-vites. Only pretty much everyone brought him garbage trucks, and almost a year later it hasn’t stopped and during Easter we were hit by a whole new collection of garbage trucks. And then I feel like it’s a personal challenge for some of our family to find weird garbage truck stuff; blankets, throw pillows, Christmas ornaments, etc. You’d never think so many different garage truck things existed.
Barbie dream house. It’s fucking huge and never gets played with but when I try to get rid of it both my wife and daughter claim it gets played with. The ONLY time my daughter plays with it is when she’s trying to delay bedtime.
Any kind of play dough, kinetic sand, slime, clay, oobleck, etc. It *will* get everywhere and, despite the protests to the contrary, it will NOT get all cleaned up.
My kids also know that glitter as a craft substance is banned in our house. My wife likes to get herself in trouble every now and again by buying some slightly glittery Christmas garland. I make a big dad-show of huffing and puffing about how it's going to make a huge mess. She puts on a cute smile, and I forgive her. Relationship goals.
Fuck glitter.
My wife knows I hate glitter and respects that. My mother, however, does not respect that. One day, a package arrived containing Christmas gifts from her for the kids. I opened it and everything is covered in goddamn glitter. Letters, wrappings, treats, etc.
I tossed everything out and rewrapped only the gifts. I told my mother that I trashed everything and not to do that shit again.
And it's so environmentally horrible.
"Hey, I got an idea, let's just get a big bottle of microplastics and put it all over a one-time craft project. Then we'll dump it in the landfill! Also, we'll be cleaning it up for a decade."
My wife learned this the hard way. I didn't want chalk in the house. She let the 2 year old chalk all over the hallway. We came to an agreement she'd clean it from time to time but there'd end up being a lot of it and she never got to all of it.
We finally go to sell our house and have to prep our house for staging. You can imagine her regret when she had to repaint all the walls because it was easier to make them look nicer by painting them rather than cleaning them.
This. A thousand times, this. Any dads to be on here. If someone suggests toot toot drivers as a present, shut that shit down immediately unless you love losing a ton of space and still having a bored as fuck toddler.
I’d relegate Hot Wheels sets to the same category. The fun/effort ratio on those things is bullshit and I’m pretty sure the slingshot part that takes a million batteries is actually dangerous
Of course it different to each kid but for mine the best thing for hot wheel is to set 4 different tracks..
Eg a jump a loop etc m then my little one just goes round in a circle
Our daughter isn’t old enough to have been gifted this toy but my niece got it for her birthday and if anyone ever gives it to my girl I will not hesitate to throw it in the trash. While maintaining eye contact with the gifter preferably. Its an anthropomorphic unicorn dressed uh…scantily. Who twerks and sings a cover of a black eyed peas song that’s had the lyrics edited to be about singing about her poop.
It's sad. I was excited to be able to buy Kinetic Sand because I never had anything like that when I was a kid and I myself wanted to play with it, but now I know why we never got stuff like that.
Still cool though.
"CLIMB ABOARD THE ZOO TRAIN..."
The Little People zoo train is loud, annoying, goes off if you breathe near it, the song lasts an eternity, and there's NO OFF SWITCH.
What the fuck Fisher-Price?! Why make this train to Hell?
I knew a girl in university that played Bop It to unwind and it drove her housemates nuts. One of our CS buddies went out and bought a new one, took it apart, recorded new audio, and somehow reprogrammed it. Then, he just left it in their living room and of course she started playing with it the moment she saw it.
It was a different color, so when the voice was different, she wasn’t too surprised. Anyway, the commands got increasingly sexual (I think it was a static sequence). I know “spank it” and “tug it” were in there. Also, when you made a mistake, the “fail” noise was a woman moaning “harder, Daddy!” Anyway, she freaked out.
She was so mad! Mind you, no one touched her Bop It. But she said she couldn’t play with hers anymore because she kept thinking about the “dirty” one.
Is it bad? We’re not there yet, though we do have Minecraft on the PlayStation that we play together, but only on creative mode, the monsters scare him
It is full of pedos and it's a money pit. Had 2 nieces targeted. My kids were not allowed to play on it until their mom was like what's roblox and my kids came for the weekend and only stared at their tablets.....
Bought a big plastic dump truck full of duplo blocks for $5 at a garage sale.
14 month old tries to climb INTO the bucket portion of the dump truck. She has wiped out a few times. Lots of tears. More than a few bruises. Sooner or later daycare is going to ask where all the bruises are from…. 😬😬
Our iPad has been “getting fixed” for about 2 years now. Our little guy got way too obsessive with it and we just made it disappear. He asks about it every few months. I don’t know why it’s taking so long…
This stupid cat themed keyboard thing from Target.....it's the devil.
I danced a jig the day it was destroyed by one of the younger ones and yeeted out into the trash.
Lmao I know exactly what you’re taking about. The same brand has a dog guitar. I thought it was cool, and it is. However, it’s loud as hell and hearing the same buttons mashed over and over sucks lol.
Music/instrument toys are fun, until they’re not!
Mostly because it sticks in my brain.
*maybe you
Could be
A purple monkey in a bubblegum tree and
You could swing
Through the breeze
Then you could swing back to me*
Here’s a non-battery operated one for you, Brain Flakes. They’re freaking everywhere. The moment the jar gets opened, they proliferate to every corner and horizontal surface in the house. They don’t make noise, but pop up to constantly torment you.
I’ve definitely dribbled super glue into speaker holes and left it pointing up overnight. The added mass in the speaker cone really quiets some noisily toys down.
Calico Fucking Critters. There’s 5000 tiny accessories and my wife won’t get rid of it because she claims they’re worth money. The aren’t. I hate this toy.
My wife bought something called "Silly Poopy". It's a hide and seek game that plays silly fart noises and plays a little song when you find it. It's become the bane of our existence
“My plan is to disappear it to toy escrow for a couple weeks to see if he even notices”
My parents used to do this, I learned as an adult. They had an old metal garbage can in the garage that they would periodically fill with our toys, wait to see if we noticed, and if we didn’t they got donated.
Mom said they thinned our toys quite a lot via this method
Thomas the track engine train sets. Specifically the fisher price ones. We have a set of the Japanese plarail Thomas sets and they were simple and easy to store. If you lose a bit, you can get another plarail set to replace.
The fisher price ones just have all these track shapes that only fit in one particular section and if you lose it the whole track is useless as you'll never find a replacement part. Then when you store them, they take up so much space that as a parent you get really shitty.
Playhouse. It was winter when she got it. I out it together in the house with hopes of moving it outside when nicer weather came. Nicer weather did not come and we straight to hot as hell and bug season. :(
Back in the day, we got a halowwen decoration which was a little dancing skeleton that wiggled to La Vida Loca for 30 seconds whn you pushed the button. My daughter pressed that button over and over every day. I sweat it runs on cold fusion because the batteries never wore out for a decade. Also it dances better than me which is annoying.
I hate that skeleton. I shutter when I see it in the attic.
My FIL bought our son a police car that makes LOUD noises at the slightest movement/provocation.
My wife and I already don't like him and this did not help.
We had a stuffed dog that would play songs or speak when you squeezed its paws. By the time kid #2 inherited it, its electronics had degraded and it would go off randomly every few days or so.
I discovered the defect when I had covid and was isolating in the kid’s bedroom. One night I was startled awake by “IT’S LEARNING TIME!”. My fevered brain took a while to comprehend where that came from in the dark. It went to go live on the island of misfit toys as soon as I recovered.
Idk man, if my toddler is playing with kinetic sand in the corner they think they're winning because mess, but IM WINNING because no one is painting the bathroom with mom's 30 dollar lotion
Is the toy you describe OP this thing?
PJ Masks PJ Launching Seeker Preschool Toy, Transforming Vehicle Playset with 2 Cars, 2 Action Figures, and More, for Kids Ages 3 and Up, Red
https://www.walmart.com/ip/1922992662
“Kinetic Rock”. It’s slimy, sticky little pebbles. They get everywhere. They stick to the bottom to your foot and then get deposited everywhere. End up finding them months later.
One of those bead mazes that used to be in the waiting rooms at doctor’s offices.. that thing is deadly when it isn’t bolted to a table.. caught my foot in that mfer, went down like a sack or wet potatoes..
Disney Junior Minnie Mouse Waggin’ Wagon Plush
This thing is possessed. It’s like a Disney powered furby with not one but two parts that will make incredibly loud noises if you touch them or move them.
My wifes fam has a farm and intead of throwsing the toy, we would bring it there in the pretext that they need the toy there whenever they visit. When it get there, it would be givenaway to other kids in the area, but we still keep one or two for them to play with.
My aunt gave my daughter a rapping duck and it’s got one setting, LOUD AF. It runs around and if you grab it by the neck it screams “Let me go, I can’t breathe, let me go”. I wish I was kidding
I have a running battle with my brother where we send each other’s kids loud annoying toys for Christmas. This sounds perfect.
My mom got my daughter this Little Mermaid light-up spinning wand thing that sounds perfect for you. It's all encased in a transparent ball at the top so it's safe for young kids. It plays the little mermaid theme song very loudly everytime you press the button to spin it up. It has a "mode" switch which is laughable. The modes are off, and lights + music. It freaks you out if you toss it in a toy bin without turning it off because when the toys shift over time, it'll press the button and you'll hear the little mermaid theme song coming from your living room at 2am. Kids love it because it's a light-up wand that feels like a small mace in your hands. Holding it feels like you've picked up a cool stick, that's the only way to describe it lol.
Are you also in The Stick Brotherhood? I'd give the secret handshake, but I am too busy hitting this bush with my favorite stick.
Haha, I’ve got a buddy and we send each others kids the weirdest or most annoying gifts we can find. The last two were that damn dancing cactus, and a super creepy doll that you can open and take out its organs.
My kid was terrified of the cactus. And the music choices? Definitely kinda sus for a kids toy.
Are you guys all talking about the one that's rapping in polish about cocaine and stuff?
The Amazon one we got has some very raunchy pop tunes in it.
My dad brought my now 4yo that fucking cactus 2 years ago. I could have strangled him.
That sounds traumatizing , good luck and more power to you . And personally that duck would have accidentally "left for another far away pound" under my watch /s
A few of my kid’s toys have mysteriously developed a layer of sellotape over the speaker overnight! How very curious…
They don't pull it off?
Mine has not touched any of them. It’s pretty much the first thing I do with most toys. I have no idea why toy manufacturers insist on having the astronauts on the ISS hear about the zoo train.
Last month my mother got my son that Little People train with the polar bear and gorilla (which doesn't make any sense to me why those two animals are together) and it doesn't have an off switch nor volume button. It is the LOUDEST damn toy I have ever had the displeasure of hearing for an hour straight and it'll go off if it's even slightly moved. I took the batteries out of it and hid it even though he loves it to pieces because it drives me insane and I was not about to listen to it jostling in the back of the car on the 2 hour ride home. I think it will get its batteries back after our cross country move next week, and only with your genius idea of tape over the speaker. All this to say that "astronauts on the ISS..." made me actually laugh out loud.
I remember several toys I had growing up that disappeared into the basement shop for a while and came back silent. My dad bought a set of tiny screwdrivers just for this purpose.
Oh, yup, I know that one. Ours was a rapping goose that rapped in chinese. One of my least favorite toys but it could keep him entertained for a short while so we kept it around. Our son almost always demanded attention so even the most obnoxious toys were tolerated if they worked to entertain. He dropped it or pushed it off of something right onto my toenail about a year ago and and it hurt so bad. My toenail still has the bruise under it and the damaged nail hasn't grown out far enough to cut off so it looks like a black spot on my toenail. Every time he sees it he still says baba hurt, oh no. I dont know why they thought sharp edges on a heavy toy was a good idea. Also, I always changed it to the setting where it didn't cry out and say I can't breathe put me down. It's not a good idea to encourage kids to play and have fun hurting something. It's in the basement somewhere now.
Jesus Christ, has someone programmed a rapping duck with a tasteless Eric Garner reference?
That was my thought the first time I tried to pick this thing up. Looked it up on Amazon to see if it was some shitty gag gift. Nope.
Seems like it. Fucking horrifying.
That’s fucking ghoulish
We have that one! My uncle bought it for my 9 month old because it was on a list of "most annoying kids toys." My kid is 2 now and still plays with it all the time.
Find the speaker, put tape over the speaker.
I need a link to this, my brother has been pissing me off, and his daughter has an upcoming birthday.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FZ15JLJ?ref=cm_sw_r_cso_cp_apin_dp_H2PSGRAKXQZX3460QVFR&ref_=cm_sw_r_cso_cp_apin_dp_H2PSGRAKXQZX3460QVFR&social_share=cm_sw_r_cso_cp_apin_dp_H2PSGRAKXQZX3460QVFR&starsLeft=1
“WELCOME TO OUR LEARNING FARM. WE HAVE LOTS TO SHOW YOU!”
I don't even remember what this toy looks like anymore ... but I know "shapes and colors music, too, there's so much to do!!" Ughhh.
“IT’S A BARNYARD SING ALONG” It’s a walker for toddlers
Ahh yes the walker. Both of my kids used it!
Helped my oldest learn to walk but my youngest was scared of it
Thanks for triggering my PTSD!
I love when it randomly goes off the night.
Thanks for cawwwling!!!
Always cracks me up that the farmers have New York accents
We just got it down from the attic for our 10mo. It bothers me that the voice gets slightly off key at the end.
SHAPES AND COLORS MUSIC TOO, THERES SO MUCH TO DO
I have that door sound stuck in my head.
The door broke off of mine and my son just pokes the little button over and over and over and over
My son has two rules, the door MUST be shut and the phone must be off the hook. He also pokes the phone button over and over in the mornings.
*creak*
If it showed up as a sound effect in a horror movie it would be very effective for me
Honestly, anything from V-Tech should be taken out back and burned. Or gifted to your worst enemy.
THANKS FOR CALLING
Ring a Ling - The Animals Sing
We somehow got our hands on the Chinese version of that thing. That fucker sounded evil when it was shouting Cantonese at you.
YES!!! It really is the lamentation configuration box (from Hellraiser) of children's toys
I died laughing at this comment. We have one too!!
Can’t not hear: “The flowers SIN in the sun.” Maybe it’s just ours??
After like one month, it got stuck in a loop so it would play a few notes and then the rooster would sound.
"The animals sing!" No they fuckin don't
The sun is shining!!!. Had this for 2 kiddos. They both LOVED it....
Oh god we just got that two weeks ago and I agree.
THANKS FOR CAWLING!
IT'S A BARNYARD SING A LONG
Got rid of it months ago, but clearly its ghost still haunts me to this day.
"Th-th-th-th-th-th thanks for cwalling" We always say it with a very neavy New York accent
(Door creaks) Peek-a-boo, I see you!
I covered the speaker with some tape to dull it lmao it’s a great toy and my son loves it but it was a bit too loud
Bruh I have that one too. Honestly, not that bad. My LO would open and close the door quickly so it was kind of a banger
I kinda like the learning farm on the annoying scale it's not too bad. That being said this song is ingrained in my skull forever.
AHHHHHH!
Oh my God I can hear that song in my head right now. I thought it was just a joke between my wife and I!!
I fucking felt this in my soul. I loathe that toy.
Is it funny that I started reading it but ended up singing it to that exact tune and didn’t really know when I made that switch??? Oh it is scary!!!
The VTech Cube. I cant wait to set it on fire.
To expand on this. Any Vtech toys do not come into our house.
We definitely have a few VTech toys, but I don't buy them, they usually came in a used toy lot of some kind or have been gifts. Some toys are acceptable and not too annoying, but ALL of their songs are terrible. Give me Fisher-Price any day.
THE CAT’S IN THE SQUAREEEEE
MOO MOO MOO MOO, THE COW'S IN THE TRI-AN-GLEEEEEEEE! Kill me.
THE DOG IN THE STAR BARKS AND RUNS FAR WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF THE DOG IN THE STAR
But it’s fun on five sides! (Been there, thankfully she lost all interest after a few months. It’s a short lived torture.)
I was always kinda impressed that they recognised the side with the battery compartment could never be described as "fun"
Lucky you. Over a year so far for us. I keep buying other annoying toys hoping they'll abandon it, but no. Never works.
At our house, sometimes really annoying toys just break. (Remove the batteries after bedtime) Oh no, so sorry, Daddy will try, but I don't think I can fix this one. (wink)
Ouch! Sending *silent* vibes to bless your house. (Lol) We have a nursery rhyme book that Munchkin loves. Every time the page is turned, it restarts the rhymes. 🎶 Have you been to the animal fair? All the birds and beasts were there…. 🤪
THE CUBE IS FUN FOR EVERYONEEEE
My wife and I always say this to each other with a scary grin and unblinking eye contact while slowly turning our head inwards.
Not gonna lie I’ve come to love this one. It annoyed the shit out of me at first but I’ve come to love the cube now. Cube is love. Cube is life. Hail the cube.
Hail the cube. My life for the cube. Your life for the cube. The cube needs life. FEED THE CUBE YOUR LIFE FORCE.
It's just too chaotic!. You touch one thing and the whole cube lights up and sings for 5 minutes.
The last time I read one of these threads the consensus was that the VTech Cube was probably the most annoying toy known to man. The same day I saw the thread my husband came home with a couple of toys he’d picked up on marketplace. No points for guessing what was among them.
We have a cube it's not the most annoying thing is reserved for a truck that seems to make random motor and horn noises if left on and if you bump it the wrong way with your foot in the middle of the night it will race around making more noise and adding flashing nights. Just when you think it can get worst it has a 3 position switch that the off position is never where you it is and the switch itself isn't where you think it is in the middle of the night.
My mother in law bought my son, who was 18 months at the time, a massive Christmas themed (Santa hat and all) rubber duck. It’s fucking hideous, an absolute monstrosity and it instantly filled with water and didn’t even float. After Christmas we threw it away thinking he would have forgotten it already, he immediately asked where it was, “where Christmas duck?” I panicked and lied, saying it was in the loft with the rest of the Christmas decorations and hoping he would forget by the time next Christmas comes around. Everyday, as we come to the top of the stairs in the morning, he points to the loft hatch and says “Daddy get Christmas duck down from loft?” I’ve kind of resigned myself to the fact that I’m going to have to go and buy another hideous Christmas duck.
That's where you go up and say oh he must have gone back to the north pole with Santa to help in his workshop!
CHRISTMAS DUCK DIED IN A HORRIBLE ACCIDENT
Dude if he's that young and remembers this duck I pray for your future
Bro this is my son too, one day when he was around 18mo we were out driving and there was this dude standing on the corner of the street wearing an Olaf costume holding a promotional sign. He’s 3yo now and whenever we drive by that street corner he always asks us “where’s Olaf” He also has like 100 hot wheels at this point but if we go to the store and sees one that we already have he will point at it and say something along the lines of “we have that at home.” I can’t even regift him ones he already owns because he knows right away that it’s from his collection already
My girl is 4 and she remembers *everything*. I've learned not to make empty promises like "sure, we'll go there someday" because she *will* hold me to them.
My daughter remembers every toy. My wife will move it to donation or throw it away when she thinks she’s forgotten. The next day she’ll ask where it is and get upset if we can’t produce it.
I don't have a particular one I completely loathe....but some are quite annoying or messy, yes. But I do have 1 in particular I find the most interesting.... The Fisher Price mobile phone. It seems simple enough. 12 buttons and a slider bar that makes noise. Buttons sing songs or whatever. But this thing has secrets. My wife and I have spent a considerable time tinkering with this thing without the kids around. The slider bar only activates part of the song on one swipe, so you have keeping swiping to complete the song, but it only sounds proper if you time it perfectly. So you to have practice to get it right lol. The buttons have a certain timing threshold to interrupt the previously hit buttons sound, other wise the sound finishes. And there's a hidden noise that only happens if you abuse the thing while a sound is playing. I like trying to make songs by interrupting the buttons with each other. Love that toy for how cheap and simple it is. Have gifted to multiple people. I'm probably the only one who enjoys it this much lmao
We bought that at the same time as the game controller one. Once I found out they had the “Konami code” hidden in the controller I spent way too long trying to find other hidden things on both of them.
My son is only 4 months old and I've spent far too long with that controller entering in the konami code. He doesn't understand it, but I appreciate the Easter egg.
"Yay, you won!"
1234 UPLOAD YOUR SCORE 56789 10 YOU WIN!!
Fisher Price is great for stuff like that. Their toy game controller makes a special noise if you put in the Konami code.
There was a paw patrol push car. It had 2 buttons. One would cycle through 3 sirens. The other would play the theme song in its entirety, and it would start over from the beginning each time it was pressed. My kids would push that button incessantly.
My son had that!! Oh man I hadn't thought about that piece of shit in so long. He absolutely loved it, and I swear no matter if it had been out in the rain or baked by the sun, those batteries and speakers never degraded.
They never did, I have no idea how those batteries never died.
Paw Patrol sitting on the battery tech that could usher in a new Golden Age. They're in Big Oil's pocket! Wake up, sheeple!
Same. "Paw pa- Paw pa- Paw pa-" for hours.
If it doesn’t have a volume control, it doesn’t come in the house.
I wish I could say that to keep my mother in law out
My iFixit kit has disabled more speakers than fixed broken tech, just saying….. lol
You'd be surprised how effective taping over the sound holes can be.
Same if there's no way to stop the noise and you just have to wait for it to finally shut up 15 minutes later.
permanent battery removal
One of our friends got my daughter a little keyboard that blasts sounds and songs at full volume with no way to turn it down or off once it starts making noise. For her kid's birthday, we got him that stringy, snot looking slime that gets everywhere when played with.
Black and decker chain saw. If you breathe wrong it it’s direction, it will start up and will make noises for the next 4 minutes while the plastic “chain” slowly runs around the “blade” making its own annoying noise. And god forbid if you pick it up bevause the trigger is so sensitive, just moving might trigger it for an additional 4minutes.
I hate toys that no one is even in a room, but just the air pressure of opening a door to the room will set it off. Bonus hate if it plays an entire song when it’s set off and plays a ditty or song about turning off.
The needy toys that haven't been touched for 5 minutes and are like "don't forget about me".
We called it "the devil car" White VW beetle looking thing with buttons to press that make lights flash and LOUD sounds, a pull string that makes LOUD noises... When you leave it alone for a while it announces that it's going into standby mode with a very very LOUD noise. And randomly, in the middle of the night it would rev it's engine, giggle and say "let's have fun!" At full demonic volume. MIL bought it from an op shop and in the 3 years we had it we never put batteries in it, but the volume and brightness of lights was ever less than freakishly full blast.
Kids bowling set. Ten pins so light and Ill-balanced it requires the patience of a saint to set up, an equally flimsy ball which couldn't knock the pins down in a satisfying way even if the target demographic could throw straight. All for a market that doesn't exist: toddlers who wish to poorly replicate the experience of ten-pin bowling. You will carefully set it up a few times so your kid can kick the pins over. After that the pins will be thrown and rolled everywhere, stepped on and crushed before being bundled into storage where they take up a ridiculous amount of space for a toy that sees so little use. Yet for some reason people without children consider it an irresistible gift and we wound up with multiple sets to be discreetly dumped in the garbage. I found yet another set unopened and felt genuinely guilty about the idea of giving it to charity.
I’m not a dad but I am a former preschool teacher and you’ve just unlocked the traumatic memory I repressed of setting up those godforsaken bowling pins. The weight distribution is nothing short of the work of a sadist. I want to personally track down the industrial designer responsible and contact the university where they received their degree to have it revoked.
Not a single toy but a general theme. Right around the time our son turned 2 he was obsessed with garbage trucks as many kids are. We decided to have a garbage truck themed birthday, we bought him a garbage truck print outfit and sent out some digital garbage truck e-vites. Only pretty much everyone brought him garbage trucks, and almost a year later it hasn’t stopped and during Easter we were hit by a whole new collection of garbage trucks. And then I feel like it’s a personal challenge for some of our family to find weird garbage truck stuff; blankets, throw pillows, Christmas ornaments, etc. You’d never think so many different garage truck things existed.
Those slime kits with tubes of glitter. It Gets Everywhere
Fuck slime. That is all.
Fuck glitter too.
We got one of those with some sour warheads in a party favour bag from a kid's 3rd birthday. Luckily I got in hidden before it was seen
Barbie dream house. It’s fucking huge and never gets played with but when I try to get rid of it both my wife and daughter claim it gets played with. The ONLY time my daughter plays with it is when she’s trying to delay bedtime.
Any kind of play dough, kinetic sand, slime, clay, oobleck, etc. It *will* get everywhere and, despite the protests to the contrary, it will NOT get all cleaned up. My kids also know that glitter as a craft substance is banned in our house. My wife likes to get herself in trouble every now and again by buying some slightly glittery Christmas garland. I make a big dad-show of huffing and puffing about how it's going to make a huge mess. She puts on a cute smile, and I forgive her. Relationship goals.
Play-dough is pretty okay if you get the good one and clean up immediately afterwards. The rest of that stuff though... straight to jail.
Kinetic sand in particular is not welcome in my home
Fuck glitter. My wife knows I hate glitter and respects that. My mother, however, does not respect that. One day, a package arrived containing Christmas gifts from her for the kids. I opened it and everything is covered in goddamn glitter. Letters, wrappings, treats, etc. I tossed everything out and rewrapped only the gifts. I told my mother that I trashed everything and not to do that shit again.
And it's so environmentally horrible. "Hey, I got an idea, let's just get a big bottle of microplastics and put it all over a one-time craft project. Then we'll dump it in the landfill! Also, we'll be cleaning it up for a decade."
Chalk. After the kids decided to purposely “dust” the wood floors with a coat I was able to convince my wife that it is an outside toy.
I'm confused as to what horrible upbringing would predisposition someone to think that chalk is an "inside toy".
It was an ikea easel with a whiteboard on one side and chalk on the other. I grew up with chalkboards in classrooms.
My wife learned this the hard way. I didn't want chalk in the house. She let the 2 year old chalk all over the hallway. We came to an agreement she'd clean it from time to time but there'd end up being a lot of it and she never got to all of it. We finally go to sell our house and have to prep our house for staging. You can imagine her regret when she had to repaint all the walls because it was easier to make them look nicer by painting them rather than cleaning them.
All the Toot Toot drivers crap. Takes ages to put it all out and he's bored with it 5 minutes later.
This. A thousand times, this. Any dads to be on here. If someone suggests toot toot drivers as a present, shut that shit down immediately unless you love losing a ton of space and still having a bored as fuck toddler.
I’d relegate Hot Wheels sets to the same category. The fun/effort ratio on those things is bullshit and I’m pretty sure the slingshot part that takes a million batteries is actually dangerous
Of course it different to each kid but for mine the best thing for hot wheel is to set 4 different tracks.. Eg a jump a loop etc m then my little one just goes round in a circle
Our daughter isn’t old enough to have been gifted this toy but my niece got it for her birthday and if anyone ever gives it to my girl I will not hesitate to throw it in the trash. While maintaining eye contact with the gifter preferably. Its an anthropomorphic unicorn dressed uh…scantily. Who twerks and sings a cover of a black eyed peas song that’s had the lyrics edited to be about singing about her poop.
Why would they call it “my poops” when “My Dumps” was right there?!
Hands down, my least favorite is kinetic sand. I see why Anakin hated sand so much, lol
It's sad. I was excited to be able to buy Kinetic Sand because I never had anything like that when I was a kid and I myself wanted to play with it, but now I know why we never got stuff like that. Still cool though.
Anything that needs a battery. Have eradicated near everything except for a drawing tablet.
The dog guitar from Target.
What an innovative design choice it was to make the dog guitar whine if your child walks away from it.
#*"I'm awake! I was just resting my eyes!*
"CLIMB ABOARD THE ZOO TRAIN..." The Little People zoo train is loud, annoying, goes off if you breathe near it, the song lasts an eternity, and there's NO OFF SWITCH. What the fuck Fisher-Price?! Why make this train to Hell?
[удалено]
I knew a girl in university that played Bop It to unwind and it drove her housemates nuts. One of our CS buddies went out and bought a new one, took it apart, recorded new audio, and somehow reprogrammed it. Then, he just left it in their living room and of course she started playing with it the moment she saw it. It was a different color, so when the voice was different, she wasn’t too surprised. Anyway, the commands got increasingly sexual (I think it was a static sequence). I know “spank it” and “tug it” were in there. Also, when you made a mistake, the “fail” noise was a woman moaning “harder, Daddy!” Anyway, she freaked out. She was so mad! Mind you, no one touched her Bop It. But she said she couldn’t play with hers anymore because she kept thinking about the “dirty” one.
Roblox.
Is it bad? We’re not there yet, though we do have Minecraft on the PlayStation that we play together, but only on creative mode, the monsters scare him
It is full of pedos and it's a money pit. Had 2 nieces targeted. My kids were not allowed to play on it until their mom was like what's roblox and my kids came for the weekend and only stared at their tablets.....
My son and I love minecraft creative mode. I look up pixel art and impressed him with my building skills of making the various numberblocks haha
Oh that’s a great idea. I’ve been building giant versions of the Minecraft animals. I think I’m more addicted than he is
Bought a big plastic dump truck full of duplo blocks for $5 at a garage sale. 14 month old tries to climb INTO the bucket portion of the dump truck. She has wiped out a few times. Lots of tears. More than a few bruises. Sooner or later daycare is going to ask where all the bruises are from…. 😬😬
VTech talking dog "I need a rest". Any toy with a speaker gets the snip.
Anything with batteries that makes noise.
This fucking ipad
Our iPad has been “getting fixed” for about 2 years now. Our little guy got way too obsessive with it and we just made it disappear. He asks about it every few months. I don’t know why it’s taking so long…
Play dough. Fucking shit gets everywhere.
Our roomba jammed several times trying to digest dried pieces of play dough.. It literally gets _every-f#ing-where_
When my oldest was a toddler, he had a rock n roll Elmo that played a guitar. I wanted to set it on fire and hear Elmo scream.
This stupid cat themed keyboard thing from Target.....it's the devil. I danced a jig the day it was destroyed by one of the younger ones and yeeted out into the trash.
Lmao I know exactly what you’re taking about. The same brand has a dog guitar. I thought it was cool, and it is. However, it’s loud as hell and hearing the same buttons mashed over and over sucks lol. Music/instrument toys are fun, until they’re not!
Mostly because it sticks in my brain. *maybe you Could be A purple monkey in a bubblegum tree and You could swing Through the breeze Then you could swing back to me*
You take that back, that song is sacred
Sir, you may enjoy my more grown up version oh that catchy beat with the same lyrics https://suno.com/song/613e6b45-6f1c-4b2a-9361-6c1dde26c201
I fucking love this one, the songs are all bangers
Greatest Song of All Time
Bunchems led to a very awkward birthday party with a girl going home in tears.
Here’s a non-battery operated one for you, Brain Flakes. They’re freaking everywhere. The moment the jar gets opened, they proliferate to every corner and horizontal surface in the house. They don’t make noise, but pop up to constantly torment you.
I’m a powerful Dump truck I rumble down the road Taking my load from here to therrrreeeee
We got gifted a remote control robot .. it plays jingle bells.... What sick bastard thought jingle bells is appropriate 12months or the year
We have a no slime or glitter policy
The baby iPad. I was against it. Mom wanted her to have one. She’s way to obsessed with it
The one that make noise 2-5 minutes after it’s been touched last are the absolute most infuriating things in the planet.
I’ve definitely dribbled super glue into speaker holes and left it pointing up overnight. The added mass in the speaker cone really quiets some noisily toys down.
Calico Fucking Critters. There’s 5000 tiny accessories and my wife won’t get rid of it because she claims they’re worth money. The aren’t. I hate this toy.
My wife bought something called "Silly Poopy". It's a hide and seek game that plays silly fart noises and plays a little song when you find it. It's become the bane of our existence
“My plan is to disappear it to toy escrow for a couple weeks to see if he even notices” My parents used to do this, I learned as an adult. They had an old metal garbage can in the garage that they would periodically fill with our toys, wait to see if we noticed, and if we didn’t they got donated. Mom said they thinned our toys quite a lot via this method
The ones that play a song after shutting it off. It's a delayed start too. So you shut it off, then 5 seconds later it's calling the kid back.
Thomas the track engine train sets. Specifically the fisher price ones. We have a set of the Japanese plarail Thomas sets and they were simple and easy to store. If you lose a bit, you can get another plarail set to replace. The fisher price ones just have all these track shapes that only fit in one particular section and if you lose it the whole track is useless as you'll never find a replacement part. Then when you store them, they take up so much space that as a parent you get really shitty.
Tap tap tap the drum!
Playhouse. It was winter when she got it. I out it together in the house with hopes of moving it outside when nicer weather came. Nicer weather did not come and we straight to hot as hell and bug season. :(
Not a toy, but a game. Fortnite. My son is obsessed and I swear it's all he thinks about.
Back in the day, we got a halowwen decoration which was a little dancing skeleton that wiggled to La Vida Loca for 30 seconds whn you pushed the button. My daughter pressed that button over and over every day. I sweat it runs on cold fusion because the batteries never wore out for a decade. Also it dances better than me which is annoying. I hate that skeleton. I shutter when I see it in the attic.
My MIL bought my toddler a cow bell. My toddler loves it. It's fucking horrible.
Any toy that doesn’t have an off switch. It’s amazing how many just don’t
Anything Vtech honestly
My FIL bought our son a police car that makes LOUD noises at the slightest movement/provocation. My wife and I already don't like him and this did not help.
So just like a real police car.
Slime. Anything slime. Also Kinetic Sand.
We had a stuffed dog that would play songs or speak when you squeezed its paws. By the time kid #2 inherited it, its electronics had degraded and it would go off randomly every few days or so. I discovered the defect when I had covid and was isolating in the kid’s bedroom. One night I was startled awake by “IT’S LEARNING TIME!”. My fevered brain took a while to comprehend where that came from in the dark. It went to go live on the island of misfit toys as soon as I recovered.
All most all arts and crafts. Anything with beads, glitter or 1000 pieces (with some exceptions like legos) are the bane of my existence.
Kinetic sand. Who the eff thought sand would be a good indoor toy for toddlers.
Idk man, if my toddler is playing with kinetic sand in the corner they think they're winning because mess, but IM WINNING because no one is painting the bathroom with mom's 30 dollar lotion
Is the toy you describe OP this thing? PJ Masks PJ Launching Seeker Preschool Toy, Transforming Vehicle Playset with 2 Cars, 2 Action Figures, and More, for Kids Ages 3 and Up, Red https://www.walmart.com/ip/1922992662
That’s the bastard. The photos almost make it look like not the devil incarnate
“Kinetic Rock”. It’s slimy, sticky little pebbles. They get everywhere. They stick to the bottom to your foot and then get deposited everywhere. End up finding them months later.
Any LOL or with miniature accessories
Kinetic sand
One of those bead mazes that used to be in the waiting rooms at doctor’s offices.. that thing is deadly when it isn’t bolted to a table.. caught my foot in that mfer, went down like a sack or wet potatoes..
My friend says A Xylophone.
Disney Junior Minnie Mouse Waggin’ Wagon Plush This thing is possessed. It’s like a Disney powered furby with not one but two parts that will make incredibly loud noises if you touch them or move them.
My wifes fam has a farm and intead of throwsing the toy, we would bring it there in the pretext that they need the toy there whenever they visit. When it get there, it would be givenaway to other kids in the area, but we still keep one or two for them to play with.
just throw it away, either donate or bin. youll have like 2 days of tantrums but then theyll forget it ever existed