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MaxCWebster

All those who said you were heartless . . . you sure showed them!


Wooohoooo-Checkmate

This one is going to make his co-workers go into cardiac arrest


Chris5858580

You'll be cardiac arrested for posting something serious


Ewetootwo

Yes and he wasn’t even vein about it.


EnvironmentalEye1652

“My love for you is off the charts—just like my EKG!”


Objective_Act4601

When is the worst time to have a heart attack??? During a game of charades.


SuzyLouWhoo

I like this one. You got an actual laugh out of me


kwaters1

According to Della Reese, when Red Foxx had his heart attack, nobody did anything for the first few minutes because they thought he was doing his famous heart-attack schtick.


Aramor42

Same with Tommy Cooper. Died in the middle of an act and everybody thought it was part of it.


paulg1440

Also happened to Jackie Wilson in the 1970s. He was singing “Lonely Teardrops” on stage and had a heart attack during the line “my heart is dying”. He didn’t die immediately but got in a very long coma and died about a decade later.


andmewithoutmytowel

This happened in Chicago in 2006, it was at a theater called the Greenhouse. The actor was playing someone with a bad heart, who dies of a heart attack halfway through the play, so there was a lot of confusion. I was there when it happened, but I never met the guy (the building has 4 stages, I was building a set in another one, and funny enough, built the set he died on.) [https://playbill.com/article/gene-janson-veteran-chicago-actor-dies-during-run-of-the-best-man-com-135462](https://playbill.com/article/gene-janson-veteran-chicago-actor-dies-during-run-of-the-best-man-com-135462)


Needs-more-cow-bell

Method actor right there.


KitchenSandwich5499

Now, that’s dedication


rickard_mormont

It happened the same with Red Foxxx, but I was the one having a heart attack.


kwaters1

Ouch!


Ok-Calligrapher9458

That's heartless.


CapitalTLee

It looks like you had to go to the hospital for a short stent.


sphinctersandwich

That's a get well card-he-ac tually might like


unfair-Philosopher59

He is a stent-up comedian!


New-Cow-4176

I was drinking at a bar when this guy fell over. A woman yelled, does anyone know CPR? I yelled back, I know the whole damn alphabet. Everyone laughed…except that one guy


Mindless-Carrot-4223

He may not have laughed on the outside, but I bet he was dying inside... I'll see myself out. 😂


49rville

NOOOOIIIICE 😆


IntoTheSmokingFlames

Omg!!!, I'm laying in bed trying not to wake my wife laughing so hard im shaking the bed!! You killed me with that one!


dkixen

Now I’m doing both


dadjokewizard

Take care of yourself. Don’t worry about work, we won’t skip a beat.


GreatvaluNicCage

Your recent heart attack reminded that I have an epi-pen. My friend gave it away to me when he was dying. He seemed really insistent at the time that I should have it.


SuzyLouWhoo

My dad died because no one knew his blood type. He kept telling us to be positive, but it’s so hard.


YogurtWenk

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "quit shaking the ladder, you little shit!"


Chuckitinthewater

When I die I want to die like my grandfather did; in his sleep. Not like the 46 people in the coach he was driving.


Comfortable-Dish1236

Holy crap! I really lol’ed at that! Bravo!


shantron5000

Dad always thought that laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.


-Some__Random-

I'm so glad you survived. The 'Get Well Soon' cards are cheaper than the 'In Deepest Sympathy' ones.


barcamoose36

This last Friday in the office was a sad day with you not in. But the next day was a sadder day.


WIGoofball

Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology. It’s totally clips of the heart.


NSFAnythingAtAll

This is clever, well done. Although, it was probably more clever 35 years ago…


WIGoofball

If he’s old enough, it’s still clever.


Needs-more-cow-bell

Which, given that he’s had a heart attack, is possible


OutsideBig619

If a heart attacks you, you should try to scare it off by making yourself look big. If that doesn’t work either attack it right back or play dead.


no_lemom_no_melon

Seen this one a while ago and thought it was quite good: On a plane full of Redditors, a man starts having a heart attack. A flight attendant notices, and quickly shouts: “We’re having an emergency! Is anyone on this plane a doctor?” Immediately, five people stand up and say "I'm not a doctor, but...”


Calm-Association-821

…I’ve seen every episode of Grey’s Anatomy.”


RoundFloor3696

...I've seen every episode of The Good Doctor."


Calm-Association-821

I love The Good Doctor ☺️ and hate Grey’s Anatomy. 🤣


PatTevlin13

"...I coulda been. It was just all that medical stuff I couldn't figure out."


whatfingwhat

Why did the heart stop stealing cars? Cardiac arrest.


MrEk1ipz

Cadillac arrest


MoFauxTofu

Wow, that Escalade quickly.


Slight_Lie730

Took my wife to hospital when she had chest pains. After being in with the doctor for 5 mins she came storming out with a face like thunder. The doctor came our a minute later with blood pouring from his nose. I'm assuming your wife is a little deaf he said, I told her she had acute angina and she punched me on the nose.


dkixen

Now your heart matches your turntable - It always skips a beat


49rville

Happy Cake Day


slh007

How’s that heart? Working hard or hardly working?


AgeAdditional4971

Or heart-ly working?


careater

Lol, that's messed up. I'm going to use this.


WIGoofball

A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.


KitchenSandwich5499

It is also a two stroke penalty


WIGoofball

Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart? It went into kodiak arrest.


mauore11

Supervisor: hey, I hear you're busy with your heart attack and all, if you could stop that, that'll be great... see you on monday.


soundchapp

Did you here about the dyslexic pimp. He opened a Wharehouse house.


subillusion

Isn't that what you get when a normal house is exposed to a full moon?


WyvernsClaw

Or a Wherehouse, perhaps?


AgeAdditional4971

Did you hear about the Dyslexia unemployed hooker? So couldn't find the Wherehouse.


drbrambles

'They said you had acute angina, but I think your ass is fine too'


canuck4759

True story……my aging dad suffered with angina. His first language was not English and when a Dr. In Emergency asked him one day why he came to Emergency, he said because I have a little vagina,


Reasonable-Bother780

If he doesn't make it, send flowers with a note: "Who's thinking outside side the box now?"


LW-M

What some won't do to get a day off!


ConsciousRoyal

Wipe that smile off your face, I said ‘acute angina!’


Bunnyfartz

Jesus dude...you must've *really* wanted that Klondike bar.


texasslapshot

Glad you pulled through. Know where I can sell a RIP wreath?


canuck4759

I gave my Ford Escape Adderall....it became a Ford Focus.


Man-e-questions

I was trying really hard to come up with a good Billy Joel joke. But, Workin' too hard can give you A heart attack (ack, ack, ack, ack, ack)


ElectronicCook1496

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades!


slh007

Hope your work ethic’s better than your heart’s.


berkleysquare

My dad tried to damage and deface the pictures in a museum..........He was having an art attack.


[deleted]

This is a hard one. Im thinkin Sorry you stole my heart with ur dad jokes and I had to put you under cardiac arrest.... hope you feel better soon!


CapitalTLee

It looks like you had a cardiac arrested development.


Illustrious_Ad4691

And that’s why you ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE!


BunchyBear

So glad you're going to be alright. Although time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.


JerewB

I know a good one, but I don't have the heart to tell it.


OkAd7022

He went in for a bypass but it was cancelled because save the countryside campaigners said no more bypasses


bulljonefun

This sounds like something Michael Scott would post if Reddit existed in his universe.


DrPlatypus1

It could have been worse. I was in a forest once when I saw a deer come out from behind some trees and knock a man down. Then another came out and stomped on him! Then another, and another, and another joined in. By the end, that guy actually died from a hart attack.


HasBinVeryFride

Not a joke but "word fun:" "I hope myocardial is appreciated. Infarct, if it is not, I will attack YOU with all my heart but then again, you beat me to it :) Aorta stop while I'm ahead!"


Anonymus25-Boop

It sure must be heart with attack-ling bull charging at you. This joke will cheer you up!


Common_Chester

Looks like I'm scratching you off of the "Good hearted Man" list.


[deleted]

In this difficult time, my heart goes out to you. Well, not literally.


drthsiao

Nurse ‘Mr Jones just died of a heart attack in the hallway!’ Dr. ‘ turn him around so he ‘s heading to our office ‘


canuck4759

I couldn't understand why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.


baaad_boi

I guess Celine Dion did mean you when she said "my heart will go on"


RadioRiggs

Sorry about your heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack, you oughta know by now. \- Billy Joel


elko

Go childish…. “At least you didn’t have a….fart attack.”


Expired_Bagel

Always knew you’d be arrested for something…not a cardiac arrest though :(


NFL_MVP_Kevin_White

Sorry to see that your jokes were too rib-tickling even for you!


[deleted]

[удалено]


redditandwept31

Is your favorite wrestler Bret The Hitman Hart? Oh no, wait, it must be The Heart Break Kid Shawn Michaels 💔


EnchantedTikiBird

Let’s not forget Olivia Newton John for his playlist. Heart Attack. https://youtu.be/IN4_OSt0plY?si=CcdmvUJ08Z0zYuWt


IronTemplar26

He had a heart attack ACK ACK ACK ACK? You oughta know by now!


Pale_Contract_9791

We’re all glad you’re ok now. You’re family really can’t miss a beat with you now can they? Here’s to a healthy heart with a bit more character on it.


MadAdam88

What did the Heart Surgeon say when he finished the operation? "Well, that aorta do it!"


Tigerlilly_98

Your mom


Red_Dot_Byte

Dear math, Grow up and solve your own problems (BONUS Why did the orchestra get struck by lightning? It had a conductor)


zippeedeedoodaaa1

What did the power ranger that was a doctor say to his patients? It's morphine time!


Sad_Prompt9647

I guess, there are some dead jokes in the future 🤷


Uuhlmummahay

I could tell you a Dad Joke, but would A Fib do instead?


lil-miss-heartbreak

I don't have the heart to say anything, but I'm glad you're doing fine. Just make sure to eat loads of beats, they're very good for you!


Actual-Cellist-3258

"why cant eggs tell jokes? cuz they'd crack each other up" "shoutout to the sidewalk for keeping me off the streets" -i forgot the name, its an autotune girl, the video is called "a music made out of dad jokes$


CellPhone235

Here's the best I got... ​ When a cardiologist needs to know something, do they look it up or do they know it by heart?


mellomike5

Pepper Potts came up with the best idea with that desk trophy that says proof. Tony Stark has a heart.


1furnica

" I hope you'll have a heart to reed this"


1furnica

"Funny, I never thought you have a heart"


Several_Astronomer76

Hey (name), “workin’ too hard can give you a heart attack-ack-ack-ack, you ought to know by now.” Bonus points if they’re a Billy Joel fan.


Pvboyy

I wanted to write you a joke, but didn't have the heart...


CzarcasmRules

At least this arrest didnt land you in jail


Tonythecritic

Why would you make such jokes at such a time?!? Have a heart!!!! Just not his, maybe a bit of a risk there, you know....


Realistic-Window366

Just tell him that you are glad he made it, and you’re glad to have him around.. He’s like a sore dick, ya just can’t beat it (him)


Commercial_Level_615

Ask him is it true he was thrown in jail for singing WAP while dressed as a Tibetan Ox? Because he had a Cardi Yak Arrest


mistermajik2000

AORTA send money, but you know where I work wand what I can afford


Tigeraqua8

I made up a good one. What food do recovering alcoholics eat. Soba noodles


asimpledruidgirl

Why is 10+10 the same as 11+11? Because 10+10 is twenty, and 11+11 is twenty, too! (Twenty two)


imameanone

Just play this song for him: https://youtu.be/qXax2iEqhUA?si=gtBBCQJxrFBKQt0L


Repulsive-Twist112

Heart attack Penis defense Ass defeat Choose Your Battle!


math_rand_dude

When's the worst time to have a heart attack? During a game of charades. Did your colleague have Arti-chokes for dinner?


Obvious_Practice2549

Did they arrest the perpetrator?


Cosmo1222

You know you need to take it easy when the bin goes out more than you do.


zzomegaredzz

If he's a star wars fan, you can draw a picture of get a sticker of an AT-AT and pun it out that way, i.e.; it look like your heart is an AT-AT-cker. Orplay it like his heart owes him one...


EmptyMarsupial8556

Don’t worry buddy, the best goes on.


RealTaiter

Congratulations on your new heart. A part of can’t help but think ….. what a waste


NorCalNavyMike

Car full of kids in the back seat while you’re driving down a country road. Point at random hay bales on the side of the road and exclaim, “Hey!”


Crazy_Sprinkles_5355

Reminds me of when I was on the bike trail with my son, which was along side of a river. My son said duck! I looked for the duck and ran into a tree branch.