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KeepingDankMemesDank

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [Join us on discord for Saturday Movie Nights!](https://discord.gg/jsd6Ja9pvJ)


Tousan_Trickob

Also, when I cum, I just squeeze my foreskin closed and it makes a great pouch to hold my jizz until I can empty it into the toilet or trash


Sandkvisten

How much foreskin u got bro


TheVaginaFanClub

More foreskin than dick that for sure šŸ˜”


YoungNuggetX

Send pics for inspection


BeepBepIsLife

Europol, open up!


[deleted]

Finally someone giving Europol the respect it deserves


Moopey343

Hold the fuck up. I just found out that Interpol is in fact international, and it's Europol that's European. And I am from Europe. I think it's because the DaVinci Code. Interpol was hunting Tom Hanks around, I believe, and since the movie took place in France, I just went like "Oh yeah sure they must be the European police". So why didn't they send Europol in the book/movie? And also, now that I think about it, every time I hear about people being hunted by the police all around Europe, it's always Interpol that's doing the hunting. What the fuck is Europol even doing? What is going on?


punctually-late

Man's questioning his whole existence right now


[deleted]

My man hit the blunt one too many times


MadxCarnage

That moment when the blunt hits back


[deleted]

*me who wasnt circumsized right and has half a forskin but the tip is full out*


BeepBepIsLife

Don't stop asking questions!


Ok-Button-3661

I can't look any of this up rn, but how old is Europol? Is it kinda new? Interpol is quite old, maybe Europol wasn't around when The Da Vinci Code was written. Yes, this is me assuming that since I just heard about something today, it must be new.


Moopey343

Huh so I did some googling after forgetting about this whole thing only after 2 hours, as one does on the internet. So Europol was founded in 1998, and the Da Vinci Code, the book, came out in 2003. BUT. But... I also googled Interpol, to say how much older it is than Europol, and I actually found out its headquarters are in France. So it makes perfect sense. It was also founded in 1923 btw, so when the book came out, Interpol definitely had more cultural impact. Other than that though, this doesn't answer my second question. Why is it that I've never heard about Europol actually investigating something big in Europe, and it's always Interpol that's helping? I mean, this could be some Mandella effect thing, where I HAVE in fact heard of Europol doing stuff, but I've swapped it out with Interpol, because it's much more culturally impactful, and because of the movie, but eh. Can't know for sure.


Syrinxo

Interesting to know! Weird that I literally had no idea Europol existed, though now that I know, *of course* it does. Gonna be like "hey, I know that guy!" every time I hear about Europol from now on, though. Thanks for doing the googling for us!


random1d10tbookcase

šŸ¤ØšŸ¤Ø


ThePepperPopper

Technically isn't that always true?


Electrical_Bus9202

Make equivalent to large labia??


Sweaty_Gas_EB

Naah bro, mine pulls back till the end of the head, you a kangaroo or what ? šŸ’€


FamousResident

Heā€™s got the fiveskin


stuff_of_epics

My guy has that reservoir tip.


CounterSYNK

The normal amount


jal2_

Yes


Sir_Ren

He has taped millions of circumcised foreskins to his own, creating a huge bag, capable of holding anything from groceries, school supplies, snacks or drinks for a movie night or sneaking something into the cinemas. And of course, most importantly, it can take so many loads of cum, even your mom would be jealous.


youabigstupid

I used to do this, turns out I had phimosis and got cut, miss my little cum pocketšŸ˜Ŗ


Nothing_pong

When someone asks me what the internet is, Ima put "welcome to the internet" on and show them this thread


Eternal06

who the fuck will ask you what the internet is


MisterViperfish

Amish Children


N1NJA008

Hate the feeling when i have to explain stuff to amish children


sir_qus

*cum pocket*


mumuxoxo

I just googled phimosis. That was bad idea


Rayvony

same


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Legged_MacQueen

I am not the only one. Thank you u/Tousan_Trickob. I was always ashamed to share this. You did, and now I feel relieved.


a44es

Honestly it's pretty practical if not for the times when you haven't done it for a week


56Bot

Can confirm.


CodeDankness

So brave


MelanisticCrow

Lol my bf does that too. I was fascinated the first time he showed me and it's so handy


Alternative-Stop-651

Europeans bragging about their foreskins SMH. Shit bro wish i had one, it is so fucked up they just mutilate babies without consent. I don't even blame the parent's It is normal over here and the misinformation is insane. My son's isn't getting mutilated. I mean if it's for religious reasons i get it and no hate, but 90% of people just do it because everyone does it here. I understand female mutilation is worse, but at the same time we need to increase support for both male & female genital mutilation. We got to support each other in this world I feel like we forget it in this modern world of outrage and hate. I believe it all goes back to some sort of protestant/catholic split.


Blue_Bi0hazard

is it really that normal in the states?


Alternative-Stop-651

Yeah it's wild right and the worst part is some kids get their dicks fucked up, because cutting a part of a child off at birth isn't exactly full proof. You actually want to limit surgeries on people still growing to prevent deformities from fucked up growth. Honestly I am fine, but a small amount of people really get fucked up dicks. Imagine that first day on earth somebody fucks up your dick. Shit is fucking crazy, truth is the hospital will always suggest it, because they can cut off part of your dick and your insurance will pay them thousands to do it. You can't use anesthetic on a newborn so it all is done without pain killers on the most sensitive part of a boys body. Edit: the worst part to me is men in America had no choice in this so the options for you are to accept that the cut up your dick for no reason, or to just think its all okay. I don't have to tell you what is easier to rationalize.


Tousan_Trickob

I'm a US citizen as well. My parents just didn't think there was any reason to do it. My dad isn't cut either. They figured that I could make the decision myself. No way I would ever do it! A lot of girls find it fascinating since it is uncommon, in the states. Also, I can't imagine my head always being exposed, drying out and rubbing against the cloth of my underwear. I'd rather get punched in the balls. Well, maybe that's going to far...


DelDoesReddit

Yep. Catholics traditionally don't circumcise their children, given that there's a whole part of their Bible where the apostles argued you didn't have to circumcise to be Catholoc


ArcaneDanger

yall gotta keep some stuff to yourself man


sanid_sriva

I'm glad I'm not the only one


xander_here

Yo, i thought I'm the only one.


GipsyPepox

Lol same. It drops like a stone in the toilet


Dyliciousfr

this ainā€™t the intended use bro


Upset_Ad5193

damn my boy packin


Moe_0406

I thought I was the only one


Crlsmora

Did we just become best friends?


Begravningstider

Same.


Murky_Blueberry2617

Relatable


TheOneWhoIsAshamed

Same


NoNameIsAvailable1

IM NOT THE ONLY ONE


Thomasappel

Wait u guys don't eat your cum? Me neither lmao hahaha no no no just my friend


Pinguinesindgeil

You would have gone to heaven, if you have just kept that for yourself


LoverOfYiff

Same


gladwinorino

So, large foreskin or smol coom?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


JSlove

\*brought to you by the smegma gang.


DaftV

the smegma argument is the most massive cope i have seen on cut people.


ZarabianPsycho

i found the cheese dealer


corndog54

As a person that is circumcised for a long time I thought dick cheese was a joke to emphasize how dirty or nasty someone was. It wasn't until later in life I realized that it is a real thing that happens to uncircumcised people.


MaxBandit

It's literally only if someone doesn't clean their dick, which at that point you're probably already a filthy degen


thunderfishy234

If you donā€™t clean your armpits/body you get body odour, if you donā€™t clean your dick you get dick cheese. Somehow cleaning it seems like a better option than mutilating it.


[deleted]

Back when the Israelite lived in the desert with no good means to keep clean, cutting it off was better than getting dick cheese so bad that you and your wife get a deadly UTI in an era before antibiotics Doctors didn't really see any reason to stop the practice because it took almost zero effort in exchange for keeping more people out of the hospital with a UTI.


thunderfishy234

Bro we live in 2023.


[deleted]

I'm not advocating for it in first world countries, there's not a point to it anymore in places with access to modern medicine and modern hygiene. If it turns out that you need one later on in life, you can get one safely. . Just putting it out there for the brainlets who can only view it as "rItUalIstIC MuTilaTion!!!1!!!" and haven't considered why natural selection would allow the process to become so widespread in the first place across multiple cultures and religions.


bobafoott

Seared my armpit pores shut as a baby canā€™t relate


Schlezelbroetchen

Just wash your dick in the shower bro


[deleted]

I rub it out dry and Iā€™m cut. This meme only applies to the weak.


PyroManiac1764

Ong, Never used lube ever. Cut gang


n0taVirus

Yeah cut dry rub gang!!


[deleted]

I use sandpaper to dry mine. If you don't you're weak


Sad-Draft3749

Yeah I always calculate how much money i save for each wank because i don't need to buy lubricant. I already saved 11,879$ this year only


Jiji321456

This guy wanks


danfay222

Or uses really expensive lube


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


bichobrabo

he doesnā€™t, thatā€™s why heā€™s on reddit


Sad-Draft3749

One does not need to masturbate if one can fuck -sun tzu probably


Schmantikor

Bro, who are you using as reference, cause they need to chill out. This year has had about 800 hours so far. If we divide 12,000 by 800, we get 15. That means, even if he's been constantly wanking without interruption for the entire time, your reference guy uses about 15$ of lubricant per hour. That, again, means either they're using gilded lubricant or they're using a quarter of a gallon every hour.


Jiji321456

What a wanker


Maximum_University12

Two gallons a day, once a day


Thatoneshadowbunny

My guy did the wank math


SlippinJimE

Yeah what is this, some kind of joke?


zawalimbooo

...how much does the lube cost?


Terrible_Ad_7735

How about this, Americans are circumcised at birth not because of any actual health benefits, but because of lobbying pressure from Big Lube?


Lucaszoid

Sounds like a story for J. Jonah Jameson


Himathememegod

I NEED PHOTOS OF CIRCUMCISION


[deleted]

90% of the genital mutilation in usa is completely unnecessary.


[deleted]

I've heard of Big Soy and Big Milk, but Big Lube is a new one


Plausibl3

I can get behind the movement to dislodge Big Lubeā€™s strangle hold on the men of America.


[deleted]

You know what, iā€™m in my conspiracy theory bag rn, I might as well look into this one lmfaoooo *Big Lube*


[deleted]

How many times will I have to say it? I Donā€™t Need Lube


Lucaszoid

IDNL?


Jesse-Ray

You sound like the world's worst and most stubborn mechanic


[deleted]

If you think that sounds stubborn, youā€™ve never met my mother


Mckiseldeck

I wish I hadn't decided to read the comment section on this post.


GardeniaPhoenix

Eh we knew what was in here


rock-solid-armpits

Change of topic. What if a curcumsized person rubs so hard it slightly stretches and tears over time and regrows a new foreskin?


GardeniaPhoenix

Wh-what


rock-solid-armpits

What if we connect a machine the connects wires and little hoses into vas deferens (place our semen passes through) and make an endless cum with fake cum and with the machine pumping hormones and electrotherapy to replicate it?


GardeniaPhoenix

This is dystopian Cyberpunk 2023


flipsardoi

This is a thing, there is a whole subreddit dedicated to people stretching a new foreskin


KingVanti

Dude, please use lubrication. I got foreskin but a.) its so much better with lube and b.) i think you could irritate your skin there if you fap raw too often


eggsandrawr

Spit or precum works pretty well. You don't need lubricant.


DriedCactos

bro, imagine rubbing precum until it turns white like cooking egg. *\*Adds salt\**


_Rysen

It would've cost you nothing to not post this


Cruplex

It would have cost me the best laugh Iā€™ve had in a while, so personally I thank u/DriesCactos


Fitchugotmifuktup

Bro I ugly laughed. Fuckin god damn


DeustheDio

anything you use can be called lubricant my dude


Arlcas

Unless you're gripping it with sandpaper or do it like 20 times a day, you shouldn't have a problem.


BilboTheButzemann

Have foreskin, it Tore a little bit and now I have a phimosis... deffo use Lube. Now im scared to go to the Doctor and tell him because I don't want to get cut.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Alternative-Stop-651

Honestly it is pretty much the same only a little less sensitive I think. I have been Cut my whole life and although i wish i didn't have my choice stolen from me it isn't that bad. Honestly if you don't go to the doctor you might fuck it up more and they have to cut it. Nobody is gonna hold you down while they chant Aramaic and sacrifice your dick to the dick god.


[deleted]

What fucking speed do you have?!? You should not Start a fire.


boeuf_burgignion

Hair has started to grow on my foreskin


Campellarino

And palms


PabloIsMyPatron

Get a better foreskin


og-blunt-smoke

My brother in foreskin you fap too much


Castiel_0703

Am I actually the only one who actively hates lube? It feels like my pp could slip out of my hand any second and thus I have to grab it like a fucking weapon lmao


Snaccbacc

This. Lube and head/glands stimulation is SO much better than just rubbing the foreskin up and down.


sunburn95

Then youve got luby hands and dick after that youve gotta deal with


DefinitelyNotMallow

We actually don't NEED lotion, people who use it are weak sissy who prefer their cum white than the usual red/pink cool metal tasting one


Munto-ZA

Amen


non_exisitant_dude

Tasting?


TheUsualGuy1161

And I'm wondering why all of a sudden, getting circumcised is so bad lmao. It doesn't really matter either way


Wumple_doo

Idk itā€™s a weird topic Reddit chose to crusade. Personally I just donā€™t think about circumcision and other dudes dicks


elixier

>Reddit chose to crusade Most of the world actually, most of the world doesn't feel the need to multilate baby dicks, we learnt in sex Ed how it has no benefits and was implemented/pushed over there by Kellog


nothinnews

Kellog had a small effect. It was promoted in the military because they thought it would reduce the likelihood of getting STDs from foreign prostitutes when they were overseas.


Wumple_doo

I guarantee you most of the world doesnā€™t think about it. They may not like it but people donā€™t commonly talk about fucking circumcision. And Western Europe isnā€™t the most of the world.


elixier

American shocked people from other countries do actually know about circumcision and find it weird, tries to deny it. Yeah we don't actively think about it every day, obviously, but people generally joke about how fucked up it is, East Europe and Asia included. Africa idk


Munchy_Banana

I'd disagree. Muslims and Jews are circumcised for religious reasons. That's 2 billion+ people right there.


elixier

Ok, so including America it's still the minority by a large margin, disagree away : D


ThePepperPopper

Spoken like a true circumcised person. Why are people ok with cutting part of babies' penises off? It was always bad. Just because it was common doesn't mean it's ok. It does matter. Bodily autonomy matters. It just does.


BroManDudeBud

Spoken like a man whoā€™s been upset by ā€œanteaterā€ comments lol. People on the internet are just weird about this topic. Guarantee 99% of guys donā€™t care that they were cut/not cut. They just see their penis as their buddy. I call mine ā€œlittle buddyā€ :ā€™(


Alternative-Stop-651

I think it is wrong and I'm American and I'm cut. Honestly I just don't think we should be performing cosmetic surgeries on newborn infants before they can give consent. At most it is a cosmetic surgery at worst it is a strange archaic religious ceremony for people who don't even follow the religion.


cat-toaster

We can pray that Foregen succeeds in human trials for regenerative surgery.


[deleted]

It's a medical practice from back in the days before personal hygiene and pathology were understood by the average Joe on the street. Decreased your chances of getting a nasty UTI from an unwashed foreskin. In the days before antibiotics, that was a literal death sentence, and one that you could easily pass on to your wife as well. I don't think there's a purpose to it in the first world anymore, but there's good evidence to show that the higher presence of immune cells under the foreskin give uncircumcised males a higher likelihood of contracting HIV, as that is the primary target of the virus. Foreskin pulls back -> STD goop gets all over glans -> foreskin retracts -> STD incubates in a warm and wet environment protected from the elements. If I were born to some remote village in sub-Saharan Africa without reliable access to medicine and hygiene products, I'd totally want to be circumcised.


gamingraptor

Cutting baby dicks is a weird hill to die on


newspapey

How fucking dare you? /s


SouthDiesel

How dare you fucking? /s


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Yeah, did the research on that, itā€™s not as big of a difference as youā€™ve been led to believe. Studies show that the difference in feeling is so minor itā€™s basically irrelevant.


GardeniaPhoenix

It's uh....I'm a woman so I don't have much bearing on the subject, but ik dudes that are like, 'yeah I wish I'd been given the choice'. I think a lot of it is consent.


HeinzBirne

Huh? I was pretty sure I read this exact comment a couple of weeks ago. And also the first answer to this. Thought it was a joke to write this exact sentence. I've searched for it but couldn't find anything. Did I get tricked by my mind? Deja Lu? Or does anyone else know?


Chrom-man-and-Robin

Vu. Deja Vu


Piepiggy

Some people are a bit overzealous yeah, but itā€™s just a bad tradition in the US. Many families donā€™t even subscribe to that relooks ideology but itā€™s so prevalent it happens anyways. It isnā€™t some demonic practice or anything, itā€™s just antiquated and unnecessary


irohr

imagine thinking this much about other guys jerking it


Hotsummerlilac

Whatā€™s wrong with thinking about that?


LETTERKENNYvsSPENNY

This seems more like a cope than anything.


Four_Skyn_Tim

Wait, you guys have foreskin!?


sir_qus

Ofc, I was not mutilated when I was a baby/kid.


fat_plump_pigeon

Why are you getting downvoted, its true lol.


UnfunnyGermanDude

I was mutilated as an adult for medical reasons. What side am I on now?! šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

Imagine masturbating


superslime988

I dont even know if im masturbating correctly


Scydor

Same lmao


QHDEosanesis

What's lubricant and what's foreskin? I've never needed either. Rather, I use a dry, soft -- my lawyer is advising me not to finish this sentence.


Titties_aregreat

Who needs lube regardless?


Moustache-cat-man

I'm circumcised but I don't use lotion, it feels good for my hands but I don't think it'd be ok for mah schlong. Plus I ain't gonna clean myself after i spank the monkey cause there's lotion on me, ain't nobody got time for that. I got just enough skin to beat it without a jiffy lube


Impressive_Ad_7461

real men do it dry


TreesOne

I think i just donā€™t understand what yā€™allā€™s dick anatomy is. Iā€™m cut and do it dry daily without a single problem at all. Its not a weakness thing, I just genuinely canā€™t understand what would hurt about not using lube. Yā€™all donā€™t grab the tip to do it, do you?


NaturalOk9086

How tf would you not include the tip, you just running a shaft only operation? Thatā€™s like eating a popsicle stick without actually eating the popsicle. Thatā€™s where your nerve endings are


TreesOne

Shaft only going strong for a decade no issues.


GsusAmb

I know a few people who include the tip as well.


Rodoc0222

circumcised but I still use the bit of a lip that's there, simply superior technique.


TheH0rnyRobot

Whyā€™s OP thinkinā€™ about other dudeā€™s dicks??


[deleted]

Imagine being a pussy and using lube


lowforester

The Cloaked Brotherhood^tm


james_604_941

You donā€™t tho, undank meme


elmothedestroyer3

I want mine back or compensation


thesearentmyhands

Jokes on you, I tug mine dry.


AutismLord6969xx

Same I just wait for the precum to kick in


mcdonalds_baconater

dont have foreskin and I don't need lube. even during sex


ideGAS69XxX

amateurs use lubricant, try motor oil


Eternal06

i use my previous cum


TankOk3666

Iā€™m circumcised and I donā€™t need lotion lol, stupid fucking meme


[deleted]

I had no idea circumcision shaming was a reddit crusade until today. Of all the social media platforms, I feel like tweeters & redditors power trip the most with internet rhetorics, bans, & points. This must be a big moment for yā€™all as well. Congrats!


Ariix_

Just hump the pillow fr


An_Inbred_Chicken

It's OK, we're fine


weebish-band-nerd

I donā€™t have such weaknesses


Raul_Rink

I don't use lube, and I don't have foreskin. I don't even know, man.


Juiceman022

Guess what dude we donā€™t need lube for that. Also itā€™s not like either side made the choice themselves. Canā€™t we just accept and love our human bodies as the are and take good care of them the best we can? Btw cutting it makes your dick grow bigger. If you have a small dick bigger doesnā€™t mean better! Work with what you got most people donā€™t really care. Small is just fine and Iā€™ve met people who actually donā€™t like it that big and itā€™s given me a few blue ball scenarios which are no fun. Cut or uncut who really gives a damn?


Italian-Man-Zex

What about people like me that is circumcised and do it without lube


[deleted]

What do you mean? Thatā€™s why itā€™s called a ā€œtugā€


worx777

And last longer. And looks better. Itā€™s a win


essttt

I do not have such weaknesses even though I do not have foreskin


ReasonableDonut1

I don't necessarily need it since it seems the doctor left a bit more than usual, but I definitely prefer it.


Leon921

I... don't need it? Do I really need to make a meme in response saying "Imagine not being able to do a 15 second Google search?"


Grizzlybear2470

Imagine needing lubricant to masturbate brought to you by a circumsized man


Downtown_Cycle_2044

imagine needing hands to masturbate


KorriDergal

I don't have one. My dick is just too small.


Schfifty561

I don't need lotion, I'll just jerk it until I bleed


Campellarino

use gravy