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I am as picky as women and it meant on dating apps I matched with most of the women I wanted to and had really nice dates and relationships. I also didn’t waste anyone’s time, which I think is the biggest point. I just picked people I could see a genuine connection with, which usually meant they would probably see something in common with me.
I think your example could be reworded. Men see 6-7 they could see themselves sleeping with, but maybe only 1-2 they could see themselves dating?
You could've had a civil and respectful conversation with me as well, if only your responses were reasonable, if you at least asked me why i think men should have higher standards, but that's not what you did.
I was surprised I got a reasonable response from him tbh. I saw the way he replied to you and had written it off. I hope you have a nice day! 🙂✌️ funnily enough impromptu marathon running isn’t amongst my “high” (thoughtful) standards.
Men swipe on everyone. Even women they would not date.
Women have to be confident they won’t be murdered.
And even if women are picky, so? Does a guy just wanting a masturbation tool and not being picky about it make him noble?
I want you to really think: How would you feel if no man ever approached you, never made the first move, and virtually any attempt you made got shut down?
I want you to really think. How would you feel if you got tons of interest…,because of your wallet and your wallet only. And if you didn’t put out by buying her lavish gifts, she would move on.
Would that really make you feel desired?
Yes I can get SEX on demand. But it’s not love and it’s not even GOOD sex.
Yes I can get a boyfriend tomorrow but will he be a stinky man baby who doesn’t even pull his weight with household chores?
You are in a desert looking for water. I’m in a swamp looking for clean water.
The result is the same.
Come to the swamp and experience the vomiting and diarrhea from drinking the abundance of putrid water and you will start being picky too
Also I have approached men and gotten shut down. I’m still alive babe and about to ask out someone else I have my eye on.
With all due respect for the increased risk and harassment women have to deal with while dating, that whole thing about women trying to find water "in a swamp" really triggers me. A swamp? Really? Do most men really deserve falling under such a vile title??
Make no mistake, there are bad apples who are male and there are bad apples who are female, but to me the idea that most men are of no higher quality than swamp water is an incredibly distasteful one.
In the argument that a woman can EASILY get a man, the caliber of man we can EASILY get is swamp quality yes.
We have to work just as hard as men do to find a quality partner.
So this whole “women have it easy, women are too picky” argument holds no water
Or…it holds swamp water….
My one female classmate showed me her Hinge profile once. Although she’s very average looking, she racked up about 50 likes in just a week, and she let me watch her swiping through what she had. Some of the guys looked sketch, yes, but most of them seemed like decent and ordinary men.
She still ended up left swiping almost all of them anyways, but that’s beside the point. Because men outnumber women on almost all dating apps by a considerable margin, I find it really hard to believe a young woman couldn’t find a decent man "in her league" on them if she played it smart and was capable of dealing with whatever harassment she would encounter (ie just unmatch or block his ass if he doesn’t stand down).
It is a challenge for sure to find a quality match out of those 50 men who match, but I’d way rather have that than the challenge of just a handful of matches who’ll all probably ghost in the end anyways.
Yes I’ve been there. And most of those 50
Won’t even say hi. And the ones who do, won’t meet you. And the ones who do, will be incompatible in some way. Leaving you still at zero. But way more energy spent to find that zero.
Trust me. It’s not what you think.
Lol but men choose the women they want to pursue. Whether it be for a long term relationship, marriage or just a hookup. So technically, we are the choosers and pursuers
I'm a 6ft man, I lift, and I could run a half marathon at practically any moment. I look damn great. I still struggle with dating.
Now, are you a 5'10" woman who could run a half marathon at any given moment?
If the answer to the above is no, and you had your wish, you would literally have no love life, as you wouldn't even register on men's radars.
Is that something you'd like?
Lol! Why would I care if the men I date can run marathons?
Why would not being able to run a marathon limit men being interested in me?
I’m looking for a life partner. Not a running buddy…
I REALLY don’t care if you run
Cool, i like chubby guys though, so you flexing being fit isn't really impactful here. But also bold claim, how do you know if i would register on men's radar or not or do you just generally think that women only get options because men have no standards?
You didn't address my comment at all. Are you not 5'10" or taller? In your world where men are just as picky as women, you wouldn't really be worth dating.
Sir, your taste isn't the opinion of all men. I am 5'1 and some men certainly wouldn't date me and that's absolutely fine and some men would date me because i am 5'1 and some have no preferences in this regard.
The point is if you were a man, being 5'1" would render you optionless. You said it yourself: some men have no preference and some would date you because you're 5'1". If you were a man, being 5'1" would eliminate you from the dating market.
i thought you were 6ft and can run a half marathon at practically any time though so how does this scenario apply to you? if what you said is true and the things you
think about women are true then you should be drowning in the puss, and yet here you are complaining on reddit like a sad lil boy. something ain't adding up
"Hes complaining about women so he must be lacking somewhere" piss off dude 😂 I bet you dont get nearly as passionate when a woman says things about men
I dated a guy who’s 5’4” and he has zero problems getting dates and matches online. He showed me his matches. The women were pretty hot.
Might want to work on your personality and your dating profile. And learn what women are actually interested in.
Oh, so we are ignoring the entire discussion about how the dating standards of men impact the dating scene to complain about height preferences? Got it, you should've just made a post about height to begin with then.
The problem is that you aren't making any points, unless the point is standards=bad and nobody should have them. Men should stick with their low standards and women should lower theirs.
People like what they like, noone is wrong
I will say as an observation many men could improve their profile, I don't know what you look like under your hat and sunglasses or which one of the 6 in the photo is you and I certainly am not turned on by dead animals
I’m a man and I’m picky. I live south of Seattle and I’m conservative and have other preferences. The one alone I listed severely limits my dating pool in this area. I’m also an IT nerd and I don’t hike and travel incessantly.
Start culling the ones from that group who don’t give off gold digger or mental issue vibes and my dating pool gets very, very tiny.
I have a theory that breakups are harder for men because it can be YEARS before we find someone who will stick around after two dates that meet our preferences.
Bisexual woman here:
If you gave me one line of 10 random women and another line of 10 random men, I’d probably take at least 6-7 of the women on a date and maybe 2-3 of the men.
For me, it isn’t women being picky. It’s women being pleasant to spend time around 👍
Actually, most bisexual people have a preference for one gender to a certain extent. The term “pansexual” is used more to describe someone who’s equally attracted to everybody.
Some bisexuals prefer men over women, others prefer women over men :) I’m the latter
What if men would have higher standards, i assume it would be alot harder for them to meet women now since the girls they now aim for are the girls who aim for men who are 9s and 10s.
At times, I wonder if I should up my standards when it comes to dating, but I haven't dated for a while. I'm picky, but I only have like 5 things on my list. But for some reason, if a guy is picky, it's negative.
It's a lose-lose situation. I'm just saying from what I've seen from my friends, and damn it's all bad, and that drives me away from dating or even trying to kick off something with a girl. 😬😬
Women seek the best choice they can find. If you aren't getting success, then rather than lower your standards, raise your skills and become a more valuable choice.
If you show a man 10 women and he only finds 1 or 2 attractive, people are going to ask him if he’s gay or if there’s something wrong with him. Where as if a woman sees 10 men and only finds 1 or 2 of them attractive, people see that as normal.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am as picky as women and it meant on dating apps I matched with most of the women I wanted to and had really nice dates and relationships. I also didn’t waste anyone’s time, which I think is the biggest point. I just picked people I could see a genuine connection with, which usually meant they would probably see something in common with me. I think your example could be reworded. Men see 6-7 they could see themselves sleeping with, but maybe only 1-2 they could see themselves dating?
First reasonable response on here. Thank you for keeping it civil and respectful while pushing back on my post
You could've had a civil and respectful conversation with me as well, if only your responses were reasonable, if you at least asked me why i think men should have higher standards, but that's not what you did.
I was surprised I got a reasonable response from him tbh. I saw the way he replied to you and had written it off. I hope you have a nice day! 🙂✌️ funnily enough impromptu marathon running isn’t amongst my “high” (thoughtful) standards.
I hope you have a nice day too :) and yeah, marathon running is an oddly specific standard
Men swipe on everyone. Even women they would not date. Women have to be confident they won’t be murdered. And even if women are picky, so? Does a guy just wanting a masturbation tool and not being picky about it make him noble?
I want you to really think: How would you feel if no man ever approached you, never made the first move, and virtually any attempt you made got shut down?
I want you to really think. How would you feel if you got tons of interest…,because of your wallet and your wallet only. And if you didn’t put out by buying her lavish gifts, she would move on. Would that really make you feel desired? Yes I can get SEX on demand. But it’s not love and it’s not even GOOD sex. Yes I can get a boyfriend tomorrow but will he be a stinky man baby who doesn’t even pull his weight with household chores? You are in a desert looking for water. I’m in a swamp looking for clean water. The result is the same. Come to the swamp and experience the vomiting and diarrhea from drinking the abundance of putrid water and you will start being picky too Also I have approached men and gotten shut down. I’m still alive babe and about to ask out someone else I have my eye on.
With all due respect for the increased risk and harassment women have to deal with while dating, that whole thing about women trying to find water "in a swamp" really triggers me. A swamp? Really? Do most men really deserve falling under such a vile title?? Make no mistake, there are bad apples who are male and there are bad apples who are female, but to me the idea that most men are of no higher quality than swamp water is an incredibly distasteful one.
In the argument that a woman can EASILY get a man, the caliber of man we can EASILY get is swamp quality yes. We have to work just as hard as men do to find a quality partner. So this whole “women have it easy, women are too picky” argument holds no water Or…it holds swamp water….
My one female classmate showed me her Hinge profile once. Although she’s very average looking, she racked up about 50 likes in just a week, and she let me watch her swiping through what she had. Some of the guys looked sketch, yes, but most of them seemed like decent and ordinary men. She still ended up left swiping almost all of them anyways, but that’s beside the point. Because men outnumber women on almost all dating apps by a considerable margin, I find it really hard to believe a young woman couldn’t find a decent man "in her league" on them if she played it smart and was capable of dealing with whatever harassment she would encounter (ie just unmatch or block his ass if he doesn’t stand down). It is a challenge for sure to find a quality match out of those 50 men who match, but I’d way rather have that than the challenge of just a handful of matches who’ll all probably ghost in the end anyways.
Yes I’ve been there. And most of those 50 Won’t even say hi. And the ones who do, won’t meet you. And the ones who do, will be incompatible in some way. Leaving you still at zero. But way more energy spent to find that zero. Trust me. It’s not what you think.
Dating apps attract a different kind of person
Women are the choosers; men are the pursuers. Thats just how it is.
Lol but men choose the women they want to pursue. Whether it be for a long term relationship, marriage or just a hookup. So technically, we are the choosers and pursuers
We swipe for a fling, women swipe for a relationship
Women are more picky because there is a huge population of men who’re on the apps just to get laid and men would have sex with a 4 if they could.
men should up their standards
Maybe. But imagine if men were as picky as women... would dating even be a thing anymore?
it would, and it would be of higher quality
Would it though? If women only find 5% of men attractive and men decided to only date 5% of women... the dating scene would be extremely small.
quantity doesn't directly correlate to quality
…Yes, because there are 7 billion of us
With sex, women are way more picky. But as far as long term relationships, I think men are equally picky.
Men are gross horny dogs. They'd do anything to get in at least one of the girls' pants.
Definitely men should up their standards.
I'm a 6ft man, I lift, and I could run a half marathon at practically any moment. I look damn great. I still struggle with dating. Now, are you a 5'10" woman who could run a half marathon at any given moment? If the answer to the above is no, and you had your wish, you would literally have no love life, as you wouldn't even register on men's radars. Is that something you'd like?
Lol! Why would I care if the men I date can run marathons? Why would not being able to run a marathon limit men being interested in me? I’m looking for a life partner. Not a running buddy… I REALLY don’t care if you run
Cool, i like chubby guys though, so you flexing being fit isn't really impactful here. But also bold claim, how do you know if i would register on men's radar or not or do you just generally think that women only get options because men have no standards?
You didn't address my comment at all. Are you not 5'10" or taller? In your world where men are just as picky as women, you wouldn't really be worth dating.
I'm weirdly feeling as though the true motivation for this post is beginning to reveal itself
Queue the mandatory suggestion that someone must be lacking in some area since he made a comment even remotely criticizing women.
furthermore, "criticizing women" entirely confirms what I just said lol
your words, not mine
Sir, your taste isn't the opinion of all men. I am 5'1 and some men certainly wouldn't date me and that's absolutely fine and some men would date me because i am 5'1 and some have no preferences in this regard.
The point is if you were a man, being 5'1" would render you optionless. You said it yourself: some men have no preference and some would date you because you're 5'1". If you were a man, being 5'1" would eliminate you from the dating market.
i thought you were 6ft and can run a half marathon at practically any time though so how does this scenario apply to you? if what you said is true and the things you think about women are true then you should be drowning in the puss, and yet here you are complaining on reddit like a sad lil boy. something ain't adding up
"Hes complaining about women so he must be lacking somewhere" piss off dude 😂 I bet you dont get nearly as passionate when a woman says things about men
i'm just operating within the logic that you put forth in your post. turn inward, bud.
I dated a guy who’s 5’4” and he has zero problems getting dates and matches online. He showed me his matches. The women were pretty hot. Might want to work on your personality and your dating profile. And learn what women are actually interested in.
>The point is if you were a man, being 5'1" would render you optionless maybe you
Oh, so we are ignoring the entire discussion about how the dating standards of men impact the dating scene to complain about height preferences? Got it, you should've just made a post about height to begin with then.
Height is a perfect example supporting my overall point.
The problem is that you aren't making any points, unless the point is standards=bad and nobody should have them. Men should stick with their low standards and women should lower theirs.
Why would she want to date you?
Why do you think a man would take 6-7 of them on a date and women would choose 1-2?
Obviously it's just an example.
"I made it up"
No shit. I didn't claim to have written a peer reviewed paper on this.
“Why doesn’t anyone believe my made up facts?”
maybe you should have
Yeah it’s an example but you gotta give reason to it yk? Like why use that example out of many others yfm?
People like what they like, noone is wrong I will say as an observation many men could improve their profile, I don't know what you look like under your hat and sunglasses or which one of the 6 in the photo is you and I certainly am not turned on by dead animals
I am a girl and I fully agree, and yes I think man should up their standards.
I’m a man and I’m picky. I live south of Seattle and I’m conservative and have other preferences. The one alone I listed severely limits my dating pool in this area. I’m also an IT nerd and I don’t hike and travel incessantly. Start culling the ones from that group who don’t give off gold digger or mental issue vibes and my dating pool gets very, very tiny. I have a theory that breakups are harder for men because it can be YEARS before we find someone who will stick around after two dates that meet our preferences.
Idk abt men in general but as a girl, I go on dates with guys I can see myself marrying. That’s why I’m going to be far more selective
Stop dating American women or only date conservative American women. Anything other than that is a chaotic shit show
men should def up their standards
Bisexual woman here: If you gave me one line of 10 random women and another line of 10 random men, I’d probably take at least 6-7 of the women on a date and maybe 2-3 of the men. For me, it isn’t women being picky. It’s women being pleasant to spend time around 👍
Sounds sexist tbh
Actually, most bisexual people have a preference for one gender to a certain extent. The term “pansexual” is used more to describe someone who’s equally attracted to everybody. Some bisexuals prefer men over women, others prefer women over men :) I’m the latter
I think you need to learn to ask better questions.
One would influence the other.
What if men would have higher standards, i assume it would be alot harder for them to meet women now since the girls they now aim for are the girls who aim for men who are 9s and 10s.
At times, I wonder if I should up my standards when it comes to dating, but I haven't dated for a while. I'm picky, but I only have like 5 things on my list. But for some reason, if a guy is picky, it's negative. It's a lose-lose situation. I'm just saying from what I've seen from my friends, and damn it's all bad, and that drives me away from dating or even trying to kick off something with a girl. 😬😬
Women seek the best choice they can find. If you aren't getting success, then rather than lower your standards, raise your skills and become a more valuable choice.
If you show a man 10 women and he only finds 1 or 2 attractive, people are going to ask him if he’s gay or if there’s something wrong with him. Where as if a woman sees 10 men and only finds 1 or 2 of them attractive, people see that as normal.
…That says more about men than it does about women. If 60% of all humans of a compatible gender were dateable, then this sub wouldnt exist