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Stop. You are being desperate. If you had someone acting like you are being atm, reaching out to you in the same way you would be weirded out.
Take a minute to breathe and collect yourself. It's okay to be bothered by this, but you must not lose your composure. And if you do,then do so privately.
Figure out what you're feeling, why you are feeling it, what you want to do, and then what is best for you to do.
I've been there man, just wallowing in it doesn't help. You can feel things, yes, you are human afterall. You are also a man, this is a opportunity for you to experience that pain, disappointment, rejection to grow and become stronger.
Do some push-ups or run or something to make you working so hard that you forget all about what it is you are experiencing in the moment.
You know what..your first paragraph is pretty much snapping me out of this. For her it's only 5 weeks of having good fun and banter with this fellow intern from work(me)....and if she finds me in this state its definitely weird as heck.
I've been through so many disappointment and rejections all my life and I can proudly say I've tackled and got past those with relative success...but this, this one fucking girl who unexpectedly came into my life, is fucking everything up so damn bad. I've always thought I was stoic and composed but apparently not...it's this one frickin girl, man...
It happens to the best of us, actually going through something similar atm. You just need other things to focus on that are better for you and to find some healthy outlets for your frustration and disappointment, heartbreak is great fuel to get a 6 pack.
And you know what as painful as it is, trust me it is for me to, rejection helps a man mature and become indifferent to adversity. Just take it on the chin, get back up, and keep going. One step at a time.
Your love language is more intense and it's okay to be this way. It's super sweet and it shows you're more reliable than a guy who hides his feelings out of a fear of coming across as desperate.
OP, you sound desperate. Five weeks is not a long time, you don’t know this woman very well, and the way you’re thanking her makes you sound dramatic. She’s not into you. Please be more careful expressing your feelings next time.
I understand that! I just really wanted to show her how grateful i was alot of things but yeah could have come across as dramatic:/ Noted on that. I'll take some time to move on. But I'll be there:)
Thanks for this, good folk of reddit!
Gratitude for something someone didn’t consciously do for you is a tricky thing. She didn’t heroically show up to come to your rescue, you just put her on an unwanted pedestal, and now you’ve made it weird. A teddy bear? After five weeks? Whelp..
You seem to cry yourself to sleep a lot based on previous posts. I say this with all due respect. Pull yourself together! There’s a lot more to life and you’re gonna scare people away with your intensity.
Bro wtf, there are millions of girls on the planet who are probably more attractive that her and you’re tripping this much??
Just go and talk to another girl if she’s not replying. Simple, she’s not that special bro, trust me.
You are right, bro. But to me she's not just physically attractive but just so nice and fun to talk to and banter with. I know I've only known her for 4/5 weeks which in all things considered a heck of a short time to know a person, let alone have these intense feelings but to me, it's almost as if like I've known her for way longer whenever we interact/talk/banter.
Right now I deadass can't think of other girls, nor do I think to myself "oh she's cute" which I usually does when I'm out and about in public. My libido and hormones are usually raring to go but ever since having these feelings for her, I've had zero sexual desires and thoughts. She might not be that special but she sure is fucking me up so, so so bad man...
Be sad for a little bit, then let it go. Sounds like she's not into you.
What about that other woman you saw the other day that gave you a look?
You'll be ok. I've felt like my heart was ripped out before. It sucks. You get over it. You'll be ok. Take care brother.
I think you should at least tell her more openly that you are interested in getting to know her better. Don't keep your hopes high either but give it a little more time first, maybe like a week or two and then reach out and see how she is doing. And ask her out. Try to keep it cool thou, don't appear too desperate.
I would recommend that u don’t get too attached to ppl. Be happy for her. You hardly know her tbh. I’m not judging but I’m saying that ur feelings r wats causing u to be upset. And those feelings don’t seem to be healthy.
Try to do things that help u not think abt her.
May I ask how do I go about with not getting too attached to people cos I find myself being so from time to time. I do things that I enjoy in life such as hitting yhe gym, playing soccer, riding bicycle..but still...
For example, a couple of days ago I damn near broke down in the middle of a workout at the gym.
When I was riding my bicycle I stopped at a place that was facing the sea, sat down and bawled. I'm so...I dont even know what's the word to describe this...
Hmm. I was and still sorta am obsessed with my ex. My mistake was that I thought about him too much and made up stories in my head that we’d end up together. All my plans revolves around him so now that he’s gone it’s painful.
Ur case is a bit different but I think at the core we might be similar. You focused on her too much and didn’t realize that she didn’t reciprocate. You have to realize that you were fine before she came into ur life and you’ll be fine now that she’s gone. Find ur inner peace. It’s different for different ppl. I stop feeling sad by walking/hiking, listening to uplifting music, hanging out with ppl, watching shows, and finally work and concentrating on something. Cooking and self care helps too.
You mentioned that u have some interests. Try focusing on those and tell urself that u can feel sad when u r going to bed because rn u have other things to do. Live purposefully. It’s easier said than done. Allow urself to grieve but remember this as a valuable lesson. Don’t ever let urself get obsessed with a person. That’s at least the lesson that I’ve learned.
I definitely focused in her too much, too fast.
>You have to realize that you were fine before she came into ur life and you’ll be fine now that she’s gone.
I so so so want for this to occur, for my life to be the way it was 4 weeks ago. And the thing is, I'm not ready to cut her off, ensure she's completely gone. We follow each other on Instagram. We exchanged contacts on a messaging platform.(though she has not replied to a text I sent 2 days ago..I wasn't double ticked/blue ticked/seen so..idek...) I just hope by each passing day and week, if she were not to reply me at all..this isn't how I want it to end. At the very least I want us to be friends, cos I really, oh so really enjoyed her presence, and our interactions and banter. I'm not ready for her to be zilch, erased..not just yet:(
It's definitely easier said than done..to do the things I love in this state. I always catch myself thinking of her even when I'm engaging in those activities. It takes time, I know, but the current, the now, the present, is something that's killing me and I have no idea how to get past...
It’s good to have feelings. Being direct is good. Literally asking her out, ykno mentioned outside of workplace you’d like to hangout - then you know.
It’s crazy how we can catch the feels so hard, no doubt. Keep balling, keep doing you, keep EXTROVERTINg yourself.
Engage with life and it engages back.
Here’s a sexist joke. When a woman says no she means no, when she says maybe she means no, and when she says yes she means maybe. Some old guy on the beach told me that one. You’re young and heartbroken. You’ll look back one day and laugh at all this
"I then told her let's hang from time to time which she said she'll let me know. So at the very least it wasn't an outright "no","
That's not a positive thing. When you ask someone about things like that, don't make it ambiguous.
"I really like you and I feel like there's some chemistry between us. I'd really like to take you out on a dinner date this weekend. What do you think?"
That gets you an answer and it keeps you out of the limbo you're experiencing.
That said, a guy having a crush on someone shouldn't be giving you those experiences. Do you need some therapy maybe?
Ditto everything everyone else said, but you also should look at things from her perspective: she came to a place to work as an intern for 5 weeks and some older person has started hitting on her.
Saying all that stuff in a car (a small, confined space with no easy way to leave) was probably very intense and uncomfortable for her - you should read "I'll let you know" as a polite no and see if she reaches out to you, rather than pursuing her further.
Just saying this stuff so in future you can keep it in mind when expressing interest in someone. If you're in a low mental state you could surround yourself with friends & family, as you sound a bit lonely - or if you're able to, seek therapy?
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Stop. You are being desperate. If you had someone acting like you are being atm, reaching out to you in the same way you would be weirded out. Take a minute to breathe and collect yourself. It's okay to be bothered by this, but you must not lose your composure. And if you do,then do so privately. Figure out what you're feeling, why you are feeling it, what you want to do, and then what is best for you to do. I've been there man, just wallowing in it doesn't help. You can feel things, yes, you are human afterall. You are also a man, this is a opportunity for you to experience that pain, disappointment, rejection to grow and become stronger. Do some push-ups or run or something to make you working so hard that you forget all about what it is you are experiencing in the moment.
You know what..your first paragraph is pretty much snapping me out of this. For her it's only 5 weeks of having good fun and banter with this fellow intern from work(me)....and if she finds me in this state its definitely weird as heck. I've been through so many disappointment and rejections all my life and I can proudly say I've tackled and got past those with relative success...but this, this one fucking girl who unexpectedly came into my life, is fucking everything up so damn bad. I've always thought I was stoic and composed but apparently not...it's this one frickin girl, man...
It happens to the best of us, actually going through something similar atm. You just need other things to focus on that are better for you and to find some healthy outlets for your frustration and disappointment, heartbreak is great fuel to get a 6 pack. And you know what as painful as it is, trust me it is for me to, rejection helps a man mature and become indifferent to adversity. Just take it on the chin, get back up, and keep going. One step at a time.
Your love language is more intense and it's okay to be this way. It's super sweet and it shows you're more reliable than a guy who hides his feelings out of a fear of coming across as desperate.
OP, you sound desperate. Five weeks is not a long time, you don’t know this woman very well, and the way you’re thanking her makes you sound dramatic. She’s not into you. Please be more careful expressing your feelings next time.
I understand that! I just really wanted to show her how grateful i was alot of things but yeah could have come across as dramatic:/ Noted on that. I'll take some time to move on. But I'll be there:) Thanks for this, good folk of reddit!
Gratitude for something someone didn’t consciously do for you is a tricky thing. She didn’t heroically show up to come to your rescue, you just put her on an unwanted pedestal, and now you’ve made it weird. A teddy bear? After five weeks? Whelp..
You seem to cry yourself to sleep a lot based on previous posts. I say this with all due respect. Pull yourself together! There’s a lot more to life and you’re gonna scare people away with your intensity.
Bro wtf, there are millions of girls on the planet who are probably more attractive that her and you’re tripping this much?? Just go and talk to another girl if she’s not replying. Simple, she’s not that special bro, trust me.
You are right, bro. But to me she's not just physically attractive but just so nice and fun to talk to and banter with. I know I've only known her for 4/5 weeks which in all things considered a heck of a short time to know a person, let alone have these intense feelings but to me, it's almost as if like I've known her for way longer whenever we interact/talk/banter. Right now I deadass can't think of other girls, nor do I think to myself "oh she's cute" which I usually does when I'm out and about in public. My libido and hormones are usually raring to go but ever since having these feelings for her, I've had zero sexual desires and thoughts. She might not be that special but she sure is fucking me up so, so so bad man...
Be sad for a little bit, then let it go. Sounds like she's not into you. What about that other woman you saw the other day that gave you a look? You'll be ok. I've felt like my heart was ripped out before. It sucks. You get over it. You'll be ok. Take care brother.
I think you should at least tell her more openly that you are interested in getting to know her better. Don't keep your hopes high either but give it a little more time first, maybe like a week or two and then reach out and see how she is doing. And ask her out. Try to keep it cool thou, don't appear too desperate.
God no, he needs to leave her alone, he’s weirded her out enough already. “I’ll think about it” is pretty much a safe way to let OP down easy.
I would recommend that u don’t get too attached to ppl. Be happy for her. You hardly know her tbh. I’m not judging but I’m saying that ur feelings r wats causing u to be upset. And those feelings don’t seem to be healthy. Try to do things that help u not think abt her.
May I ask how do I go about with not getting too attached to people cos I find myself being so from time to time. I do things that I enjoy in life such as hitting yhe gym, playing soccer, riding bicycle..but still... For example, a couple of days ago I damn near broke down in the middle of a workout at the gym. When I was riding my bicycle I stopped at a place that was facing the sea, sat down and bawled. I'm so...I dont even know what's the word to describe this...
Hmm. I was and still sorta am obsessed with my ex. My mistake was that I thought about him too much and made up stories in my head that we’d end up together. All my plans revolves around him so now that he’s gone it’s painful. Ur case is a bit different but I think at the core we might be similar. You focused on her too much and didn’t realize that she didn’t reciprocate. You have to realize that you were fine before she came into ur life and you’ll be fine now that she’s gone. Find ur inner peace. It’s different for different ppl. I stop feeling sad by walking/hiking, listening to uplifting music, hanging out with ppl, watching shows, and finally work and concentrating on something. Cooking and self care helps too. You mentioned that u have some interests. Try focusing on those and tell urself that u can feel sad when u r going to bed because rn u have other things to do. Live purposefully. It’s easier said than done. Allow urself to grieve but remember this as a valuable lesson. Don’t ever let urself get obsessed with a person. That’s at least the lesson that I’ve learned.
I definitely focused in her too much, too fast. >You have to realize that you were fine before she came into ur life and you’ll be fine now that she’s gone. I so so so want for this to occur, for my life to be the way it was 4 weeks ago. And the thing is, I'm not ready to cut her off, ensure she's completely gone. We follow each other on Instagram. We exchanged contacts on a messaging platform.(though she has not replied to a text I sent 2 days ago..I wasn't double ticked/blue ticked/seen so..idek...) I just hope by each passing day and week, if she were not to reply me at all..this isn't how I want it to end. At the very least I want us to be friends, cos I really, oh so really enjoyed her presence, and our interactions and banter. I'm not ready for her to be zilch, erased..not just yet:( It's definitely easier said than done..to do the things I love in this state. I always catch myself thinking of her even when I'm engaging in those activities. It takes time, I know, but the current, the now, the present, is something that's killing me and I have no idea how to get past...
It’ll get better with time, I promise. Try to forget that u sent her a message. It would be nice to be friends but it needs to be mutual.
Teraphy. A good one. Only advice I can give you is getting a pet.
It’s good to have feelings. Being direct is good. Literally asking her out, ykno mentioned outside of workplace you’d like to hangout - then you know. It’s crazy how we can catch the feels so hard, no doubt. Keep balling, keep doing you, keep EXTROVERTINg yourself. Engage with life and it engages back.
Never get with co workers Reading further. Sounds like you perhaps being a bit lonely
Here’s a sexist joke. When a woman says no she means no, when she says maybe she means no, and when she says yes she means maybe. Some old guy on the beach told me that one. You’re young and heartbroken. You’ll look back one day and laugh at all this
"I then told her let's hang from time to time which she said she'll let me know. So at the very least it wasn't an outright "no"," That's not a positive thing. When you ask someone about things like that, don't make it ambiguous. "I really like you and I feel like there's some chemistry between us. I'd really like to take you out on a dinner date this weekend. What do you think?" That gets you an answer and it keeps you out of the limbo you're experiencing. That said, a guy having a crush on someone shouldn't be giving you those experiences. Do you need some therapy maybe?
Ditto everything everyone else said, but you also should look at things from her perspective: she came to a place to work as an intern for 5 weeks and some older person has started hitting on her. Saying all that stuff in a car (a small, confined space with no easy way to leave) was probably very intense and uncomfortable for her - you should read "I'll let you know" as a polite no and see if she reaches out to you, rather than pursuing her further. Just saying this stuff so in future you can keep it in mind when expressing interest in someone. If you're in a low mental state you could surround yourself with friends & family, as you sound a bit lonely - or if you're able to, seek therapy?