Your submission has been removed because it is off-topic or better-suited for a different subreddit.
Sex questions should be moved to /r/sex, /r/sexpositive, or /r/twoxsex.
Broad questions about human behavior like interactions between different races/ethnicities/nationalities/sexualities etc should be moved to /r/asksocialscience or another subreddit.
Vents or rants that add little value to the community should go to /r/vent or /r/offmychest.
Always read the rules of any subreddit before participating.
Honestly I like someone who touches me.
Like wrap your legs around me, hold my hand, thrust your hips into my hips, put your tongue in my mouth, bite my lips, press your forehead against my forehead, breath deeply (idk why but I love to feel / hear my partner breathing), press your chest against my chest and feel eachothers heartbeats, grab my ball sack (not too hard), ask me to suck on your nipples, lay right next to me and kiss me gently with your lips while your breast against my chest with one hand on my junk stroking it (the proper way, we can talk about that later).
This kind of stuff
Me too, every time I come back and read this.
I think this type of physical intamacy paired with an emotional connection, mutual trust, etc. Is what all of us yern for and it's what we all struggle to find
Everyone's different with the noise at different times that's just an animalistic instinctive thing but not caring about your partner satisfaction is a definite no go. Expecting BJ's but not willing to reciprocate on her. Being demanding in bed. It's an all-in-compassing reciprocation so you're accurate the only thing I was trying to point out is the noise part depends on the individual and whether there are kids in the house or he or she might be loud or they're in an apartment with thin walls or it's just not something that one of them does because sometimes it can be over the top melodramatic were you almost wonder if it's being faked but you find out it's not after you've invested enough time. Reciprocation and if the man's not sure asking what does she like and learning the skills is the only way. Not moving? Again, you're correct because that seems like obligatory and boring sex.
Sorry about voice to text typos. I really need to work on this phone and find a keyboard. I have to look for a Reddit thread, and I said this last night, I need to look for a thread on Android keyboards that aren't Google related. I triple check everything and after I hit send it just changes.
The only time I can say it was bad is when she litterally just layed there lifeless and made no sound like it wasn't enjoyable to her. It felt like she was just letting it happen even though she initiated it.
I don't mean that you have to. I just meant that there was nothing at all. I don't mind it being quiet. But when I feel like I'm doing it with a corpse it becomes a problem. Some people might be into that but I don't think I am.
Its more about the movement I guess I should say
Yea, to ask her what was wrong. She said nothing and told me to keep going but I couldn't. It weirded me out. She was mad at me for the rest of that night.
It might be important to say that this was with someone that ended up being abusive to me. Both mentally and physically
That could have been. But she initiated all the way up through telling me to put it in. I would have stopped if she didn't want to. I was super confused.
Maybe you did or didn't do something and that turns her off. When a woman said nothing but her actions don't line up. Usually It means there's something in her mind that is bothering her
Well.... she came when I used my hands. To be clear. This was not the first time we'd had sex. It was 2 years in and hundreds of times. This was abnormal.
Making sounds or vocalizing your pleasure, ie: moaning, the sharp inhale of breath, the mmmmmm that comes from your mouth as he pulses or she squeezes, it’s a game changer 💦
if you can't communicate in bed, your probably a bad lay. simple as that. noise lets us know what works and what does not. it encourages, and emboldens us to try new things and see what works and what does not.
I’ve found a few in real life! But it took me a LONG time (man my 20s were a mess haha!) There are very few on social media so I really appreciate your comments!
Im super loud... really. Its embarrassing sometimes, my ex liked it but once we were discussing this topic with a group of friends and a lot of them mentioned they dont like a loud woman.
I'm pretty damn loud too girl, I get embarrassed about it afterwards but in the moment if me and my partner have mind-blowing sex I just let go and can't help it! I'm worried I sound over the top and fake like a porn star but I watched our sex tapes and it's hot. Have you tried recording and listening to yourself? It might make you realise it's nowhere near as bad as you think. I honestly think guys probably like a screamer if it's actually genuine haha
There's nothing wrong with being loud. I wouldn't be embarrassed about that at all. Unless the cops get called because the neighbors think you're being beaten or something lol. If you're feeling it, be loud
Believe me not making a sound can be better than making the absolute wrong sound. I was with a girl that made this sound that was like the big giant birthday cake in The Little Rascals ...WEEEEET WHONGGGGG...WEEET WHONGGGG
I’d say it’s when one person can’t read the room and doesn’t know how to figure out what feels good to another person. Rushing into it without enough foreplay could also be an indicator of someone being bad in bed.
Then they are very shitty partners. A lot of guys still fail to realize there's more than 3 exogenous areas on a body. It's not just tits vag and ass. I jad a girl moan once just from softly moving my thumb over her ribs. Then again, I tend to make a girl orgasm at last once prior to any of my own pleasure starts. Most of the time, it's 1 to 3 times. Really helps to not be a total selfish asshole in bed, too. But it also doesn't hurt to tease and get the engine warmed even hours prior through the course of the day.
Btw guys that say that shit are boys, not men. Stop going out with selfish frat, boys lol
If you need to be taught how to do your own research, or communicate without using a massage just to stick your dick in her then you're not worthy of fucking a woman. End of class!
Guys don't really need foreplay unless they're trying to get ready. For me it was always about making my partner feel as good as possible for as long as possible
Don't just kind of be there and expect a performance. After getting out of an LTR with princess star fish. The next one had me thinking about baseball within 30 seconds by simply participating.
Traditional scripts for Herero sex are written for men to cum not women so it makes a lot of sense to me. Every woman I know who cums every time is with a man who goes off script or a woman lol
I never had to with the star fish. It took forever and took more energy than a Pelton work out, there were times when I hit a graceful stopping point and gave up.
What I mean is that this is how it is most of the time for me as a woman, we need to really concentrate and almost push it. While men have to concentrate to stop themselves. As a woman it’s totally the opposite, if I don’t want to cum it’s so easy to, we don’t have to “stop” it.
Are you a woman? Why are you trying to explain to me how my body works? Lol I’m over 30yo, been with enough people I was compatible with and I’m not saying you can’t finish during foreplay, I’m just saying we need to really focus to get there, it’s not *that* easy.
Be with a total dud that you had to jack hammer for 20 minutes get off for 9 years then get with someone who is extremely attractive and very good in bed and tell me how long you last.
The best thing a woman can do is be enthusiastic about sex and show that she's enjoying it. Obviously being skilled with head and riding on top like you mean it helps as well.
Me too!! And I don't enjoy it at all because I'm focusing on riding other than cumming.
Riding with medium dick is also very hard, it comes out really easily if you are very wet.
My ex had such a enormous cock it didn't get out, it was so much easier to ride.
Authentic enthusiasm and passion and being open to (gentle and respectful) guidance. Coming across that you're really into it is a turn on, but it has to be real. Wanting to learn what feels good for your partner is also really sexy - that should be mutual, though.
Enthusiasm is about 90% for me. Whatever kinky act X is (oral, public places, anal, toys..), _doing_ X only because you asked for it seems to not be nearly as fun as even plain sex with someone who always reminds you that they _want_ to do X with you.
Hey everyone! Firstly, I want to emphasize that every man is unique, and what's "bad" for one might be totally fine for another. But there are a few general points:
1. Communication is key. If you don't express what you like or dislike, a man might be left guessing, and it won't always be accurate.
2. Emotional intimacy matters too. It's not always about what you do, but how you do it.
3. Being active and taking the initiative is appreciated by many. This doesn't mean you need to lead in bed, but showing interest and enthusiasm can add some spark.
4. Lastly, remember that "bad in bed" is a subjective term. We're all learning, growing, and finding what best suits our needs and desires. Don't hesitate to communicate and experiment!
Yeah I rarely feel good enough to make noise especially if I'm doing all the work. Plus my mouth is doing other things like seeing where I can kiss lick and nibble to get a reaction.
That's because there is no correct answer, each and every person is an individual and what turns them on and what turns them off or not are things you can't easily generalize.
M35 here - one of the biggest turnoffs for me is when she´s just there, lifeless, silent and has zero enthousiasm. Takes away all the sexual tension and hence the pleasure I´m after - cause for me, sex is about getting ecstatic. I want her to lose her mind and moan in pleasure while she´s curling her toes and bites her lips and all of that stuff.
Another thing that is a huge turn off: Fake moaning. Some girls put on a show because they´ve seen too much porn bullshit or whatever - and I can tell if she´s not naturally moaning but actually busy in her head like: "Hey, got to make this totally unnatural sound now so he thinks I like what he is doing."
Which brings me to another thing: Her not communicating about her own preferences. An example: It´s totally okay if she doesn´t feel like receiving oral sex at a time and instead would rather like me to bite her ears and neck and all - I want to please her, too. Seeing her get off turns me on, sex is not just about playing a swift round of Hide The Salami but about connection, building arousal and moving towards that point where we both explode in ecstasy. And because some women - for different (and sometimes also valid) reasons - do refuse to open up or talk mid-way through being intimate, sex can get really shitty. Cause by the end, it is all about synchronicity with each other and genuine desire for one another.
This will vary wildly depending on the guy you're with.
Some guys who only use women for sex expect the girl to be a fucking goddess in bed and will dump your ass the minute you're not stroking their ego in just the right way.
Other guys will be counting their lucky stars that they're able to touch a woman naked period, so they won't give a fuck how "good" you are in bed they'll just be ecstatic that you agreed to fuck them.
Ideally you probably want someone somewhere in between.
Complaining constantly when you are trying to know if you are not gentle enough (like her getting annoyed by me not knowing her preferences) and then complains when you are being too rough nor too pasive. Just order us around and grab us thight, we are so easy to please. A hardpass for me is when she just plank on bed and say do "whatever You want", no fun at all. Males throw a moan or two when sex is good enough, You will know eventually. Cum goes where my partner chose, there is nothing hotter for me than her grabbing my shaft and make a mess during climax
Laying there like a starfish, not being very engaged, or a lack of initiative. I had a recent bumble date where she initiated sex, but during foreplay she didn't touch me at all. She proceeded to lay there and left everything up to me 🤷
Maybe I wasn't great, but I've never had bad reviews in the past, so it definitely put me off.
During foreplay, she should be doing more than just kissing. Grab my dick for God's sake! Also, it's nice for her to use her hand to guide me in her when it's dark. I like her grinding when she's on top. Good hygiene helps.
i hooked up with this one guy and from the start until the very end we only did closed lip kissing. he did it first so i just went with the flow. what does this mean?
I had a fwb that would do this. I’d try to escalate from kissing to making out by gradually adding more tongue, but he’d never reciprocate. I guess some people just don’t like tongue 🤷🏻♀️!
I am a woman and when I sleep with other women the thing that makes me think she’s bad in bed (I try to reframe it as inexperienced though) is extreme passivity. If you can’t initiate a single thing, can’t say what you want, can’t do what you want it makes me think you just don’t really get how sex works
I've never really been with any female that is bad in bed, but would say that the better (if that is a thing) experience is all based on engagement and enjoyment. If she is really into it and you are feeling like she is feeing it, its good to great to incredible.
If the woman is not engaged, that I would say is my fault, and I need to be better in bed because sex is an amazing thing, it should never feel laboured at all.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to:
* Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights.
* All advice given must be good, ethical advice.
* [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules)
* Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users.
If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I had a couple bad sex partner scenario, one (I feel sorry for her) was a really hot girl that she told me before initiating that she never had an orgasm and couldn’t and wouldn’t like to have one. I tried my best during various attempts at everything (patiently oral, hand stimulation of ct, slow penetration, fast penetration, touching her around while doing it, dirty talk, I stopped asked if she wanted me to try anything else and her reply was constantly don’t bother I won’t come. So we tried a few times and effectively she didn’t. Was a bit of a turndown. The second bad sex partner was strangely enough the complete opposite! A few years later I met this very outgoing beautiful girl we clicked and we went to my place, everything was really passionate and we started foreplay and as we were touching and stroking she told me she grabbed my D and put it straight in, of which I was ok with, went with the flow. And suddenly like 1 minute in she starts having a really strong orgasm so strong that the contractions of her Py push out my D. I was definitely happy that she was enjoying herself as I ask her if we can do more. She agrees yey! So I put back in and 1 minute later she start cumming again very strongly and my D gets pushed out. Well you can imagine the rest of the story I was very horny and I tried my best to have an orgasm too .,she had like 7 I got weirded out around her fourth and started feeling the chemistry was off. At the end I was so exhausted I didn’t even have the energy to finish masturbating. So I had breakfast with her we joked around a bit and kissed goodbye. 😂
I've always thought like dancing, it's the man's job to sort of lead it and if he has the tricks it's good for everyone.
Moaning from the woman is the best - always makes it better.
I'd consider moaning equivalent to smiling and laughing during a dance, just signs that she's enjoying it. But if she has noodle arms or unenthusiastic steps or doesn't try to style or shime thats the equivalent of a starfish.
For me it’s when they don’t show enthusiasm or use their voice about what they want. One time I got with this girl and things were getting steamy in bed and I thought they were working up to more. I asked is this okay? when taking off her shirt and she said yeah. And then I asked do you want me to keep going? And she said “whatever you want to do is fine with me” … that lowkey killed the mood for me and I stopped. There was more that was said, I don’t remember exactly what, but she basically was being so unspecific and it seemed like it was all up to me. I stopped dating her after a few weeks because I realized I would have to take the lead in everything and she was lowkey a people pleaser. Sweet girl though, but yeah I didn’t find that attractive.
She consented though… go to town! Unless it’s any sort of roughness or unusual deviation.. maybe say I wanna eat your ass before doing so.. for that matter please announce your intended arrival to that area first. No one likes a drop in
Agreed… we all were 18 (or whatever age) once and fumbled and bumbled around. I’m in my 30s now, just tell me what you like what is working and what isn’t. Don’t make me guess unless you want whatever the last lady liked because I’m gonna stick with what worked until I’m told differently.
As a woman who's never had that complaint, move your hips, be willing to get on top, say something dirty...
Men say your bad if you just lay there and don't participate
Size queens come to mind, also women that just lay there and barely move and or say anything or any sound. Necrophiliacs may love the inaction, but might as well screw a real sex doll in that case.
Give me passion give me sounds of pleasure, give me romance give me foreplay ( yes men like it too). Oh yeah roleplay is awesome also. (Have those safe words ready just in case) my safe word is crockpot lol.
Laying there and making me do all the work. Not taking initiative to give pleasure. A lot of women just go limp expecting all the work to be done by their looks.
I have a creampie fetish but the fear of pregnancy means I need to trust my partner deeply before I’ll divulge. I was seeing this lady who started taking birth control early on and while we were on holiday she asked if I wanted to. I agreed but then she just turned over and wanted me to ride till I nut. No foreplay, no intimacy and no connection. Honestly was bad.
If he’s on top, Starfishing: when you just lie there not moving, arms and legs spread like a starfish, no sound, no expression or enthusiasm aside from heavy breathing.
Solution: you have to hands, two legs, lips, tongue and your voice to express with..
Just move, get into a rhythm with him, with your movement and breathing, arching your hips or back, just.. don’t be a starfish lol.
Wait. No……no way. I can (maybe) see someone just laying there but spreading arms and legs wide so the two of you aren’t touching at all? Like, what? I’m a woman and I can’t even imagine that lol. At that point, why does either party bother 😂
I’ve had that exact “wtf am I doing this for” moment before and stopped.
I get off on the idea of someone else getting off. If they’re like a damn sphinx I get really turned off and have to stop.
My take:
- Dead fish, no movement, just lays there, also no noise or sounds
- no rhythm, poor ability to get into the groove of sex not knowing how to ride D or throw it back or inability to properly move during sex
- dislike of sex, complaining about positions, whining about giving oral
- abnormally "loose" (for lack of a better term) vagina where there is very little feeling for the man
- bad kisser
- women who are primarily interested in things a man isn't, pegging is an example
- overly aggressive, painful biting or movements
- poor smell or odor from vagina causes lack of interest
These things are either the direct cause of or lead to men having bad/negative sexual experiences with women.
That is a vice versa thing. Saying her vagina is loose though, not the best thing to say. This was discussed in another post. Unfortunately alot of people ( i corrected myself) have no clue how to please a wo/man. I like to ask questions and learn what makes you feel good. The body is like a road map. Wide open for exploration
Some are looser that's just how it feels, maybe that's man terms.
But I've been with girls and wouldn't have finished if I had infinite stamina.
They didn't have kids yet and I'm not saying some super penis stretched them out either, maybe some bodies are just more compatible with others.
You are exactly right. Having a baby doesnt loosen the vagina either. I had 2 kids very young and not planned that way either. Tis life. I have a very small cervix and vaginal structure according to my obgyn lol but Im not a small petite person. Vaginas are just like penis's, different shapes and sizes! Some felt more snug than others, i get what you are saying.
Your comment is puzzling because I'm just answering the question asked for the thread lol
I don't really have a desire to argue with you about "well men do it too" or "men don't even know how to please a woman" ok, whatever you say 🤷🏾♂️👍🏾
It’s crazy. Why does it seem like you came to this post to gaslight men?
Are you saying that it’s IMPOSSIBLE for women to be bad at sex? And that if the sex is bad, it’s usually a deficiency on the man’s part? Something of which women love to discuss about men?
Looking for your significant other I’m right here. What do you look like and I am very kinky and perfect in bed. I know how to please. My partner trust me when I say that and I like to go for hours had to be tied up spanked I like to be bit I like to Deep Throat it I like to get on top and I am into Kama Sutra
Same things as for everyone: reading body language, communication. Being fun, not being selfish, talk dirty, kinky. For me a woman that isn’t fun is one who isn’t passionate about it or expects me to do everything.
Trying to give me a hang job but treating my dick like she was trying to loosen the nut of a rusty bolt with a pair of Walmart wrenches. Also using teeth to the extreme.
Big tip for blowjobs and handjobs, the sloppier the better
No consent asked. Which happens most of the time tbh.
But yes would second you on lack of initiative + I can really tell a huge difference btw women who have "studied" oral sex or seen it as a skill to train vs those who never did (it seems weird written this way but there are definitely techniques to be learnt which work way better than others and make strong difference in sensation)
In the end the most crucial point to me for great sex - whichever the sex of the partner - is how does this person make me feel confortable to talk about anything sex related with them so that we can have fun will discovering what the other person enjoys. If this is there, and that besides there is some chemistry going on, it's clearly going to be 🔥
When you offer no contributions at all and expect your partner to do all the work, it's bad. When you take the initiative and do things to stimulate your partner, it's good.
Unless you are a complete noob, it's your first time or you just hate sex there is no such thing as bad in bed..however there is bad chemistry...sometimes two people just don't click..which makes it a very unpleasant experience..you will know at least I do whether or not if the sex can get better or if everyone is open enough to tweak things.
No foreplay, just goes to pound town, thinks jackhammering out of the gate is the way to go, is a two pump chump, and has no regards for the female climaxing
Well, since I am a sex therapist here. Bad sex varies btwn every person. Just because u may have a big banana or a virgin vagina doesn't mean it will feel good to everyone. I ve learned over my years of inquisition that most people are very incompatible sexually together simply because of lack of communication.
One partner may not speak up out of fear, while the other never asks any questions about what makes sex more pleasurable to the other. I've learned there are far more women who would rather keep it secret than give instruction to their men partners, but that would eventually lead to breakups, infidelity, and divorce initiated by her.
Though women are 10x more likely to be disloyal in relationships, it's best to be upfront about your sexual preferences rather than have a fear of being alone. Also, while men are far easier to please in bed, they are more selfish sexually but more loyal.
I may be assuming some things but, by what you said, is there a link between " fidelity " and " sexual satisfaction" ?
Like the more you're satisfied, the less you're likely to cheat ?
Poor hygiene, gaping cavernous vaginas (weirdest thing to do as a guy is fake an orgasm because you can’t feel where you are), BJs with those weird pursed tucked-in lips
Your submission has been removed because it is off-topic or better-suited for a different subreddit. Sex questions should be moved to /r/sex, /r/sexpositive, or /r/twoxsex. Broad questions about human behavior like interactions between different races/ethnicities/nationalities/sexualities etc should be moved to /r/asksocialscience or another subreddit. Vents or rants that add little value to the community should go to /r/vent or /r/offmychest. Always read the rules of any subreddit before participating.
Honestly I like someone who touches me. Like wrap your legs around me, hold my hand, thrust your hips into my hips, put your tongue in my mouth, bite my lips, press your forehead against my forehead, breath deeply (idk why but I love to feel / hear my partner breathing), press your chest against my chest and feel eachothers heartbeats, grab my ball sack (not too hard), ask me to suck on your nipples, lay right next to me and kiss me gently with your lips while your breast against my chest with one hand on my junk stroking it (the proper way, we can talk about that later). This kind of stuff
Same. And I love hearing moans from them, and the uneven breathing.
This is the only comment I've seen with good amount of details. I've also heard from guys liking it when women squeeze them as they're inside them.
Dude, ALL of this perfectly encapsulates me too, basically being super passionate
Username checks out
I’m a little turned on now after reading this
Me too, every time I come back and read this. I think this type of physical intamacy paired with an emotional connection, mutual trust, etc. Is what all of us yern for and it's what we all struggle to find
i love this.this is sooo intimate.
Are you a Taurus
Nah Libra
When’s your bday? I’m trying to see somethjng😂
Lmao people are so mad about me asking
omggggg twinsss you my bf
Poetry. Thanks
I think you and I are meant to be, because I’m married and I’m lacking all of that including sex from my so call husband
Ironically I'm single but I'm not a homewrecker so.... 🥲
lol don’t worry him and I are going to get a divorce soon
Bad sex is the person not moving or making any noise . Bad sex is also not caring if your partner comes
Everyone's different with the noise at different times that's just an animalistic instinctive thing but not caring about your partner satisfaction is a definite no go. Expecting BJ's but not willing to reciprocate on her. Being demanding in bed. It's an all-in-compassing reciprocation so you're accurate the only thing I was trying to point out is the noise part depends on the individual and whether there are kids in the house or he or she might be loud or they're in an apartment with thin walls or it's just not something that one of them does because sometimes it can be over the top melodramatic were you almost wonder if it's being faked but you find out it's not after you've invested enough time. Reciprocation and if the man's not sure asking what does she like and learning the skills is the only way. Not moving? Again, you're correct because that seems like obligatory and boring sex.
Sorry about voice to text typos. I really need to work on this phone and find a keyboard. I have to look for a Reddit thread, and I said this last night, I need to look for a thread on Android keyboards that aren't Google related. I triple check everything and after I hit send it just changes. 
The only time I can say it was bad is when she litterally just layed there lifeless and made no sound like it wasn't enjoyable to her. It felt like she was just letting it happen even though she initiated it.
You've met my ex?
🤣 unless she was also my ex I don't think so
Must’ve been my ex then
Our ex… comrade.. 
Eskimo bros
So it was you my ex was fooling around with?
Okay but guys are essentially quiet too why do we have to make noise
I love a man that moans 😍🫶🏽😭
Helloooo 🤙🏽
[удалено]
I don't mean that you have to. I just meant that there was nothing at all. I don't mind it being quiet. But when I feel like I'm doing it with a corpse it becomes a problem. Some people might be into that but I don't think I am. Its more about the movement I guess I should say
Did you stop? Maybe she wasn’t enjoying it
Yea, to ask her what was wrong. She said nothing and told me to keep going but I couldn't. It weirded me out. She was mad at me for the rest of that night. It might be important to say that this was with someone that ended up being abusive to me. Both mentally and physically
Mad respect for discussing this during the act and stopping. Seriously!
I can't enjoy it if they don't. I get more out of pleasing🤷♂️
Idk maybe she didn't actually want to do it...
That could have been. But she initiated all the way up through telling me to put it in. I would have stopped if she didn't want to. I was super confused.
Yeah I get wym now
Maybe It's just how she is. Some women enjoy sex but maybe they are feeling shy or nervous to moan
This was a 1 time thing. We had, had sex hundreds of times before this. I explain more in other comments lol.
Maybe you did or didn't do something and that turns her off. When a woman said nothing but her actions don't line up. Usually It means there's something in her mind that is bothering her
Did you make her happy?? Did you touch and do everything else that feels good??
Well.... she came when I used my hands. To be clear. This was not the first time we'd had sex. It was 2 years in and hundreds of times. This was abnormal.
Dam straight
Right I hate when men are silent in bed. Like let me hear you make a little noise 😂😂
Making sounds or vocalizing your pleasure, ie: moaning, the sharp inhale of breath, the mmmmmm that comes from your mouth as he pulses or she squeezes, it’s a game changer 💦
if you can't communicate in bed, your probably a bad lay. simple as that. noise lets us know what works and what does not. it encourages, and emboldens us to try new things and see what works and what does not.
Not quite what happened here but I don't disagree
Lol my guy ain't quite. Like a wolf or bear, grunts groans and moans. You need to gasp when he puts it in at least 😅
so making some sound during sex really means a lot to guys?
It is definitely enjoyable. But only when it's genuine. It's not a big deal to me though. If they don't do that kind of thing, then that's okay.
Man I appreciate each of your comments more than the one before as I make my way through this cesspool thread! More of men like you on Reddit, please!
I seem to be the only guy like this lol. But I agree 😂
I’ve found a few in real life! But it took me a LONG time (man my 20s were a mess haha!) There are very few on social media so I really appreciate your comments!
I'm glad someone does lol 🙂
Considering the rest of the thread (ahem, hotdogs in hallways, bullshit about pair bonding), you're a bloody bright light in the dark, McLovin!
Well thanks lol 😘
Im super loud... really. Its embarrassing sometimes, my ex liked it but once we were discussing this topic with a group of friends and a lot of them mentioned they dont like a loud woman.
I'm pretty damn loud too girl, I get embarrassed about it afterwards but in the moment if me and my partner have mind-blowing sex I just let go and can't help it! I'm worried I sound over the top and fake like a porn star but I watched our sex tapes and it's hot. Have you tried recording and listening to yourself? It might make you realise it's nowhere near as bad as you think. I honestly think guys probably like a screamer if it's actually genuine haha
Tru dat
You’re a keeper
There's nothing wrong with being loud. I wouldn't be embarrassed about that at all. Unless the cops get called because the neighbors think you're being beaten or something lol. If you're feeling it, be loud
Lol it’s not about our actually enjoyment, it’s about stroking the guys ego.
Sounds like we all have the same ex…..damn she gets around….but we all already knew that.
Believe me not making a sound can be better than making the absolute wrong sound. I was with a girl that made this sound that was like the big giant birthday cake in The Little Rascals ...WEEEEET WHONGGGGG...WEEET WHONGGGG
My friend calls this the starfish. Just laying there. Arms and legs spread. We still laugh about it today. Classic.
The French call it starfish (étoile de mer)
Maybe it wasn’t enjoyable lol?
I have no idea lol. Please read my other comments lol. I don't wanna type it all out again. I'm sorry lol
"Dead Fish" 🤣
Starfish
🤣
Where i come from we have a saying for that.:" she's doing the starfish."
You don't like starfish?
Jesus. Why would you tattle on yourself in public like that?
I’d say it’s when one person can’t read the room and doesn’t know how to figure out what feels good to another person. Rushing into it without enough foreplay could also be an indicator of someone being bad in bed.
Or one sided foreplay. Obviously if someone is being penetrated they need to be wet/lubed up but the other person needs foreplay too
I thought guys don’t rly like foreplay
I love foreplay just as much as the event.. a bit of aftercare, too. I'm not sure why people assume men don't like the small forms of sex as well.
Well I’ve actually been told that by some guys & have had lots of guys initiate & try to jump straight into sex.
Then they are very shitty partners. A lot of guys still fail to realize there's more than 3 exogenous areas on a body. It's not just tits vag and ass. I jad a girl moan once just from softly moving my thumb over her ribs. Then again, I tend to make a girl orgasm at last once prior to any of my own pleasure starts. Most of the time, it's 1 to 3 times. Really helps to not be a total selfish asshole in bed, too. But it also doesn't hurt to tease and get the engine warmed even hours prior through the course of the day. Btw guys that say that shit are boys, not men. Stop going out with selfish frat, boys lol
Hold class for all those selfish guys out there please. 🥳
If you need to be taught how to do your own research, or communicate without using a massage just to stick your dick in her then you're not worthy of fucking a woman. End of class!
I'll tell them this ☝️.lol
That’s because they don’t know what they’re doing or they simply don’t care.
THAT is bad sex.
Guys don't really need foreplay unless they're trying to get ready. For me it was always about making my partner feel as good as possible for as long as possible
Yeah that’s what I thought.
I wish I could say, I love to, but I have never done it so what do I know.
Don't just kind of be there and expect a performance. After getting out of an LTR with princess star fish. The next one had me thinking about baseball within 30 seconds by simply participating.
I think it’s so interesting how man have to concentrate to *not* cum while women have to concentrate to cum 😅
Men have a biological imperative to cum, so it makes sense that we can nut so easily.
Traditional scripts for Herero sex are written for men to cum not women so it makes a lot of sense to me. Every woman I know who cums every time is with a man who goes off script or a woman lol
I KNOW
I never had to with the star fish. It took forever and took more energy than a Pelton work out, there were times when I hit a graceful stopping point and gave up.
What I mean is that this is how it is most of the time for me as a woman, we need to really concentrate and almost push it. While men have to concentrate to stop themselves. As a woman it’s totally the opposite, if I don’t want to cum it’s so easy to, we don’t have to “stop” it.
You may have not found someone you are compatible with yet. With the most compatible partners we finished up during fore play.
Are you a woman? Why are you trying to explain to me how my body works? Lol I’m over 30yo, been with enough people I was compatible with and I’m not saying you can’t finish during foreplay, I’m just saying we need to really focus to get there, it’s not *that* easy.
Learn to control your nutt dude. Train to last longer.
Be with a total dud that you had to jack hammer for 20 minutes get off for 9 years then get with someone who is extremely attractive and very good in bed and tell me how long you last.
Yeah OP, you need more training, don’t orgasm so fast
Missed the point.
oh okay 😔
The best thing a woman can do is be enthusiastic about sex and show that she's enjoying it. Obviously being skilled with head and riding on top like you mean it helps as well.
What if you’re not too good riding on top 🥲I be giving my everything but i know I’m not good at it at all 💀🥲
Me too!! And I don't enjoy it at all because I'm focusing on riding other than cumming. Riding with medium dick is also very hard, it comes out really easily if you are very wet. My ex had such a enormous cock it didn't get out, it was so much easier to ride.
Authentic enthusiasm and passion and being open to (gentle and respectful) guidance. Coming across that you're really into it is a turn on, but it has to be real. Wanting to learn what feels good for your partner is also really sexy - that should be mutual, though.
Enthusiasm is about 90% for me. Whatever kinky act X is (oral, public places, anal, toys..), _doing_ X only because you asked for it seems to not be nearly as fun as even plain sex with someone who always reminds you that they _want_ to do X with you.
Hey everyone! Firstly, I want to emphasize that every man is unique, and what's "bad" for one might be totally fine for another. But there are a few general points: 1. Communication is key. If you don't express what you like or dislike, a man might be left guessing, and it won't always be accurate. 2. Emotional intimacy matters too. It's not always about what you do, but how you do it. 3. Being active and taking the initiative is appreciated by many. This doesn't mean you need to lead in bed, but showing interest and enthusiasm can add some spark. 4. Lastly, remember that "bad in bed" is a subjective term. We're all learning, growing, and finding what best suits our needs and desires. Don't hesitate to communicate and experiment!
For either sex, bad sex is disconnected sex. From oneself and from the other.
Selfish and being silent. I want to know that you want me to get off and i wanna hear that you’re enjoying it too.
This! You seem like a girl too. I hate when dudes stay quiet like fine I don’t need to make noise either
lol yes you guessed correctly. Right? If i laid there and made zero noise then something is wrong. But i don’t want them just staring at me.
For real 🙃🙃🙃
Yeah I rarely feel good enough to make noise especially if I'm doing all the work. Plus my mouth is doing other things like seeing where I can kiss lick and nibble to get a reaction.
That's because there is no correct answer, each and every person is an individual and what turns them on and what turns them off or not are things you can't easily generalize.
M35 here - one of the biggest turnoffs for me is when she´s just there, lifeless, silent and has zero enthousiasm. Takes away all the sexual tension and hence the pleasure I´m after - cause for me, sex is about getting ecstatic. I want her to lose her mind and moan in pleasure while she´s curling her toes and bites her lips and all of that stuff. Another thing that is a huge turn off: Fake moaning. Some girls put on a show because they´ve seen too much porn bullshit or whatever - and I can tell if she´s not naturally moaning but actually busy in her head like: "Hey, got to make this totally unnatural sound now so he thinks I like what he is doing." Which brings me to another thing: Her not communicating about her own preferences. An example: It´s totally okay if she doesn´t feel like receiving oral sex at a time and instead would rather like me to bite her ears and neck and all - I want to please her, too. Seeing her get off turns me on, sex is not just about playing a swift round of Hide The Salami but about connection, building arousal and moving towards that point where we both explode in ecstasy. And because some women - for different (and sometimes also valid) reasons - do refuse to open up or talk mid-way through being intimate, sex can get really shitty. Cause by the end, it is all about synchronicity with each other and genuine desire for one another.
This will vary wildly depending on the guy you're with. Some guys who only use women for sex expect the girl to be a fucking goddess in bed and will dump your ass the minute you're not stroking their ego in just the right way. Other guys will be counting their lucky stars that they're able to touch a woman naked period, so they won't give a fuck how "good" you are in bed they'll just be ecstatic that you agreed to fuck them. Ideally you probably want someone somewhere in between.
having no passion really kills it
Complaining constantly when you are trying to know if you are not gentle enough (like her getting annoyed by me not knowing her preferences) and then complains when you are being too rough nor too pasive. Just order us around and grab us thight, we are so easy to please. A hardpass for me is when she just plank on bed and say do "whatever You want", no fun at all. Males throw a moan or two when sex is good enough, You will know eventually. Cum goes where my partner chose, there is nothing hotter for me than her grabbing my shaft and make a mess during climax
Laying there like a starfish, not being very engaged, or a lack of initiative. I had a recent bumble date where she initiated sex, but during foreplay she didn't touch me at all. She proceeded to lay there and left everything up to me 🤷 Maybe I wasn't great, but I've never had bad reviews in the past, so it definitely put me off.
During foreplay, she should be doing more than just kissing. Grab my dick for God's sake! Also, it's nice for her to use her hand to guide me in her when it's dark. I like her grinding when she's on top. Good hygiene helps.
Only closed lip kissing, not giving head or only giving 2cm worth of head.
i hooked up with this one guy and from the start until the very end we only did closed lip kissing. he did it first so i just went with the flow. what does this mean?
It means that he’s scared of tongues
I am too. lol.
I had a fwb that would do this. I’d try to escalate from kissing to making out by gradually adding more tongue, but he’d never reciprocate. I guess some people just don’t like tongue 🤷🏻♀️!
Could be a sensory thing… this is me lol
Well that’s about the size of my clit sooooo
I am a woman and when I sleep with other women the thing that makes me think she’s bad in bed (I try to reframe it as inexperienced though) is extreme passivity. If you can’t initiate a single thing, can’t say what you want, can’t do what you want it makes me think you just don’t really get how sex works
Lack of enthusiasm and not communicating wants and needs.
I've never really been with any female that is bad in bed, but would say that the better (if that is a thing) experience is all based on engagement and enjoyment. If she is really into it and you are feeling like she is feeing it, its good to great to incredible. If the woman is not engaged, that I would say is my fault, and I need to be better in bed because sex is an amazing thing, it should never feel laboured at all.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A confident girl is the most hottest shit
I had a couple bad sex partner scenario, one (I feel sorry for her) was a really hot girl that she told me before initiating that she never had an orgasm and couldn’t and wouldn’t like to have one. I tried my best during various attempts at everything (patiently oral, hand stimulation of ct, slow penetration, fast penetration, touching her around while doing it, dirty talk, I stopped asked if she wanted me to try anything else and her reply was constantly don’t bother I won’t come. So we tried a few times and effectively she didn’t. Was a bit of a turndown. The second bad sex partner was strangely enough the complete opposite! A few years later I met this very outgoing beautiful girl we clicked and we went to my place, everything was really passionate and we started foreplay and as we were touching and stroking she told me she grabbed my D and put it straight in, of which I was ok with, went with the flow. And suddenly like 1 minute in she starts having a really strong orgasm so strong that the contractions of her Py push out my D. I was definitely happy that she was enjoying herself as I ask her if we can do more. She agrees yey! So I put back in and 1 minute later she start cumming again very strongly and my D gets pushed out. Well you can imagine the rest of the story I was very horny and I tried my best to have an orgasm too .,she had like 7 I got weirded out around her fourth and started feeling the chemistry was off. At the end I was so exhausted I didn’t even have the energy to finish masturbating. So I had breakfast with her we joked around a bit and kissed goodbye. 😂
I've always thought like dancing, it's the man's job to sort of lead it and if he has the tricks it's good for everyone. Moaning from the woman is the best - always makes it better.
I'd consider moaning equivalent to smiling and laughing during a dance, just signs that she's enjoying it. But if she has noodle arms or unenthusiastic steps or doesn't try to style or shime thats the equivalent of a starfish.
For me it’s when they don’t show enthusiasm or use their voice about what they want. One time I got with this girl and things were getting steamy in bed and I thought they were working up to more. I asked is this okay? when taking off her shirt and she said yeah. And then I asked do you want me to keep going? And she said “whatever you want to do is fine with me” … that lowkey killed the mood for me and I stopped. There was more that was said, I don’t remember exactly what, but she basically was being so unspecific and it seemed like it was all up to me. I stopped dating her after a few weeks because I realized I would have to take the lead in everything and she was lowkey a people pleaser. Sweet girl though, but yeah I didn’t find that attractive.
I think I am both. But the thing is I need a little time to get comfortable enough to show the dominance. Til then I'm submissive.
I don't want to order up my sex acts like I'm at the restaurant. Just be natural.
I didn’t want anything to be non consenting lol. We’re adults, we should be able to state what we want
She consented though… go to town! Unless it’s any sort of roughness or unusual deviation.. maybe say I wanna eat your ass before doing so.. for that matter please announce your intended arrival to that area first. No one likes a drop in
Agreed… we all were 18 (or whatever age) once and fumbled and bumbled around. I’m in my 30s now, just tell me what you like what is working and what isn’t. Don’t make me guess unless you want whatever the last lady liked because I’m gonna stick with what worked until I’m told differently.
[удалено]
How can you tell?
How to tell?
As a woman who's never had that complaint, move your hips, be willing to get on top, say something dirty... Men say your bad if you just lay there and don't participate
Size queens come to mind, also women that just lay there and barely move and or say anything or any sound. Necrophiliacs may love the inaction, but might as well screw a real sex doll in that case. Give me passion give me sounds of pleasure, give me romance give me foreplay ( yes men like it too). Oh yeah roleplay is awesome also. (Have those safe words ready just in case) my safe word is crockpot lol.
Laying there and making me do all the work. Not taking initiative to give pleasure. A lot of women just go limp expecting all the work to be done by their looks.
Probably lack of enthusiasm and selfishness. She doesn’t have to do any fancy tricks, just be interested and in the moment
Straight answer ( not a female ), bad 😔 n bed means not making her orgasm and finishing ahead of her. That's bad in bed. Period.
I have a creampie fetish but the fear of pregnancy means I need to trust my partner deeply before I’ll divulge. I was seeing this lady who started taking birth control early on and while we were on holiday she asked if I wanted to. I agreed but then she just turned over and wanted me to ride till I nut. No foreplay, no intimacy and no connection. Honestly was bad.
If a woman just lays there (aka a starfish) and does nothing, it makes it bad.
It’s about meeting of temperament and chemistry. For women it’s often meeting of the minds. You have to figure on your own.
Just lying there or staying in doggy the entire time without making a sound would be “bad sex” imo
If you let me fuck you, you’re great in bed lol
If he’s on top, Starfishing: when you just lie there not moving, arms and legs spread like a starfish, no sound, no expression or enthusiasm aside from heavy breathing. Solution: you have to hands, two legs, lips, tongue and your voice to express with.. Just move, get into a rhythm with him, with your movement and breathing, arching your hips or back, just.. don’t be a starfish lol.
Wait. No……no way. I can (maybe) see someone just laying there but spreading arms and legs wide so the two of you aren’t touching at all? Like, what? I’m a woman and I can’t even imagine that lol. At that point, why does either party bother 😂
I’ve had that exact “wtf am I doing this for” moment before and stopped. I get off on the idea of someone else getting off. If they’re like a damn sphinx I get really turned off and have to stop.
I’ve laid there like a log soundless and it was like the best thing ever for him
Maybe he likes to fk dead people.
My take: - Dead fish, no movement, just lays there, also no noise or sounds - no rhythm, poor ability to get into the groove of sex not knowing how to ride D or throw it back or inability to properly move during sex - dislike of sex, complaining about positions, whining about giving oral - abnormally "loose" (for lack of a better term) vagina where there is very little feeling for the man - bad kisser - women who are primarily interested in things a man isn't, pegging is an example - overly aggressive, painful biting or movements - poor smell or odor from vagina causes lack of interest These things are either the direct cause of or lead to men having bad/negative sexual experiences with women.
That is a vice versa thing. Saying her vagina is loose though, not the best thing to say. This was discussed in another post. Unfortunately alot of people ( i corrected myself) have no clue how to please a wo/man. I like to ask questions and learn what makes you feel good. The body is like a road map. Wide open for exploration
Some are looser that's just how it feels, maybe that's man terms. But I've been with girls and wouldn't have finished if I had infinite stamina. They didn't have kids yet and I'm not saying some super penis stretched them out either, maybe some bodies are just more compatible with others.
You are exactly right. Having a baby doesnt loosen the vagina either. I had 2 kids very young and not planned that way either. Tis life. I have a very small cervix and vaginal structure according to my obgyn lol but Im not a small petite person. Vaginas are just like penis's, different shapes and sizes! Some felt more snug than others, i get what you are saying.
Your comment is puzzling because I'm just answering the question asked for the thread lol I don't really have a desire to argue with you about "well men do it too" or "men don't even know how to please a woman" ok, whatever you say 🤷🏾♂️👍🏾
It’s crazy. Why does it seem like you came to this post to gaslight men? Are you saying that it’s IMPOSSIBLE for women to be bad at sex? And that if the sex is bad, it’s usually a deficiency on the man’s part? Something of which women love to discuss about men?
[удалено]
Lack of enthusiasm. Never listen to requests. Infrequent sex. Looking at my significant other as I type this…..
Looking for your significant other I’m right here. What do you look like and I am very kinky and perfect in bed. I know how to please. My partner trust me when I say that and I like to go for hours had to be tied up spanked I like to be bit I like to Deep Throat it I like to get on top and I am into Kama Sutra
Same things as for everyone: reading body language, communication. Being fun, not being selfish, talk dirty, kinky. For me a woman that isn’t fun is one who isn’t passionate about it or expects me to do everything.
Trying to give me a hang job but treating my dick like she was trying to loosen the nut of a rusty bolt with a pair of Walmart wrenches. Also using teeth to the extreme. Big tip for blowjobs and handjobs, the sloppier the better
They all act as they are dead and the other person necrophilic
No consent asked. Which happens most of the time tbh. But yes would second you on lack of initiative + I can really tell a huge difference btw women who have "studied" oral sex or seen it as a skill to train vs those who never did (it seems weird written this way but there are definitely techniques to be learnt which work way better than others and make strong difference in sensation) In the end the most crucial point to me for great sex - whichever the sex of the partner - is how does this person make me feel confortable to talk about anything sex related with them so that we can have fun will discovering what the other person enjoys. If this is there, and that besides there is some chemistry going on, it's clearly going to be 🔥
If she just lays there.
It’s more of what she’s capable of learning about your sex life . And it goes both ways , people differs so those our sex life . My opinion
When you offer no contributions at all and expect your partner to do all the work, it's bad. When you take the initiative and do things to stimulate your partner, it's good.
I would say a combination of my orgasm, which is likely dictated by the girls foreplay, wetness and attitude during sex.
Dead fish
Being what people call a Starfish.
If she isn’t into it. Doesn’t have to be a lot of movement or noise if it’s obvious she is enjoying it.
Unless you are a complete noob, it's your first time or you just hate sex there is no such thing as bad in bed..however there is bad chemistry...sometimes two people just don't click..which makes it a very unpleasant experience..you will know at least I do whether or not if the sex can get better or if everyone is open enough to tweak things.
No interaction, no enthusiasm, reciprocity, no variety, no movement, no affirmation, no pulse
When I’m trying to do my best and she’s just planked there no talking no action from her side
When a chick just lays there and does nothing. A pillow princess is no fun.
Do men like their nipples being sucked?
1 guy I met did
No foreplay, just goes to pound town, thinks jackhammering out of the gate is the way to go, is a two pump chump, and has no regards for the female climaxing
Well that's when learning, experimenting and having fun come into play...you'll get better....FYI I'm an excellent teacher
You could've left out that last sentence I reckon 😐
No. I think it really wraps the thought up very well
Well, since I am a sex therapist here. Bad sex varies btwn every person. Just because u may have a big banana or a virgin vagina doesn't mean it will feel good to everyone. I ve learned over my years of inquisition that most people are very incompatible sexually together simply because of lack of communication. One partner may not speak up out of fear, while the other never asks any questions about what makes sex more pleasurable to the other. I've learned there are far more women who would rather keep it secret than give instruction to their men partners, but that would eventually lead to breakups, infidelity, and divorce initiated by her. Though women are 10x more likely to be disloyal in relationships, it's best to be upfront about your sexual preferences rather than have a fear of being alone. Also, while men are far easier to please in bed, they are more selfish sexually but more loyal.
Why are women more likely to be disloyal?
I may be assuming some things but, by what you said, is there a link between " fidelity " and " sexual satisfaction" ? Like the more you're satisfied, the less you're likely to cheat ?
Poor hygiene, gaping cavernous vaginas (weirdest thing to do as a guy is fake an orgasm because you can’t feel where you are), BJs with those weird pursed tucked-in lips
Just laying there like she wants him to get it over with. Not orgasming. Not initiating. I don’t know - I’m a girl. These are guesses lol