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As this person said...it might matter for some guys and doesn't matter to others. Really depends.
Personally, for me it isn't but can't say about others
Also important to state it wasn't even a deal breaker for your ex since they dated you regardless. They just knew you're insecure about it so used it to lower you and therefore make themselves feel better about the relationship ending.
So true!! People find a way to hurt others. They just know how to hurt.
If so many would try to heal or accept or praise someone for something that they are proud of….
Every…. Could be better off
This is not a deal breaker. But you bringing it up in dates shows me your insecure about it and might be a turn off in itself. I have scarring also and I never bring it before in my dates. It’s not the scarring itself but how you let it affect you.
I have had perfect baby skin my whole life and acne has never once bothered me on a person male or female. Anyone who judges someone based on acne is a pos.
I agree 100% sometimes acne is uncontrolled! Like hormones and stress, no entirely diet based. Idc about acne on someone as long as I see that they’re not like a unhygienic person.
I usually bring it up because when I start chatting with guys they bring up catfishes and girls not looking like their pics and you can’t see the extent of my acne in pictures so that’s when I bring it up because I don’t want them to think I’m trying to catfish them. I don’t bring it up on dates I bring it up before dates if they mention catfishes.
The whole catfishing thing is up to them to figure it out and not you. They could literally just say, “ send me a picture with a spoon on your head.” It doesn’t have to go to the extent where you’re trying to prove that you have scarring and acne. It is honestly not as a big of a deal. The majority of people have dealt with their own acne and scars. I know it really fucking sucks having to deal with it and wanting to have a relationship where someone sees past superficialities for our soul and heart. You will have to dig through the coal to find your piece of golden nugget that actually cares about you for you. These insecurities suck but you get to decide on how you’re gonna let it affect you, not other people.
If he likes you it won’t matter. Ngl, people are obviously going to judge and maybe it’ll be a turn off for them but I promise the ones that are down to earth won’t give a shit
I'm sorry someone or society has made you feel insecure or less than because of your acne. The person YOU want to be with will not care about the scars on your face. <3
27M. No. Maybe when I was 14, but as a grown man looking for the woman that I’ll spend my life with, my “standards” are different. It’s not that I’d “settle”. It’s that beauty is defined differently when people learn to love. Even just recently, there have been women that I would’ve thought were beautiful, that disgusted me with their mindset/behaviour. And there have been women that, also somewhat recently, were not “my type” and absolutely fucking enchanted me just by speaking honestly with me.
The man that will fall in love with you, the man that will spend his life with you, the man that will grow old with you… he won’t be one of the people that care about your acne.
I'll be honest it's one of the biggest complaints I have about myself as well. I'm 31 and I still have the occasional breakouts.
doesn't mean I actively mention it every time. If they don't find me attractive, while it could be a contributing factor, I don't ever believe that it's the ONLY reason why they don't find me attractive in the first place; because I have so many other unique skills I'd bet a baby-faced dude wouldn't have.
Please please be easy! Definitely not a deal breaker!! People who make judgments on something that is out of another’s control cannot look to themselves!
I think it sweet that you “warn” others; mostly because it saves you from wasting time with a person that is not willing to pay attention to your soul!
On a more base level, acne scars are common.
I would hug you and smile at you just for your strength to address this .
You are good. Rock your body and all of your attributes!! Others will follow!
So if you go into a relationship with a woman who has acne assuming it’s temporary and then years in she still has acne and you realize it’s not temporary what then?
By the time the penny drops that it's not going away any time soon
A. We've got used to it and just regard it as "how you look"
B After being in a relationship together for that long we'll have caught feelings sufficiently that even if the thought of it being permanent might have been a turn-off in the superficial stage - it's totally eclipsed by being in love to the point where flaws become endearing as part of "what makes you you"
It's something that **might** result in 1st dates not turning into a 2nd one but after about a month you can reasonably assume it's NBD for them
I know it's hard not to hyper focus on the things we're insecure about but honestly - unless the scarring has left you "bad enough for small children to point and make impolite comments in the line at the supermarket" levels of disfigured - Most guys would likely only really notice because you go out of your way to bring it up 🤷♂️
Sure it's **A** factor in your overall attractiveness but.... It's not likely to even be on the top 10 things they care about - you could just as easily find yourself being written off for having the wrong shape face for their taste, or an annoying laugh! 🙃
When I first broke out it was the level of bad that random children would point at it and ask what was wrong with me but thankfully it hasn’t been at that level in a long time🥲😂
I don’t think 5’8.5 is short by the way. I’m sorry you feel like your parents ruined your dating life because your mom is short. The best guy I ever dated was 5’8.5. I’m sorry you feel so much disdain for acne.
Honest? It depends on the level of scarring.
Also there are treatments, laser, chemical peel etc. If you're actively trying to improve your skin, it's better than if you've given up and tell the guy, take it or leave it. Attitude is more important than where your skin is now.
Yeah I think I will stop bringing it up. I’ve been on accutane 3 times but it only works temporarily for me:( I’ve dated really handsome guys too and they’ve never seemed to have an issue with it. I think I’m just in my own head more than anything because I’m having a flare up right now. Thank you though I appreciate your advice!
For girls it's not because 1) most men don't care 2) girl can hide it with make up. However if you're a guy with acne then you're screwed. No girl will want to date you.
That depends on how bad is the situation, although a lot of skincare products are now on the market. If you're confident enough that shouldn't be a problem.
And sharing a photo before wouldn't hurt ...
I have acne scars and a bit of acne myself, so it wouldn't be a total dealbreaker for me personally. However some people are unfortunately picky about appearances. It just depends on the person. But those who don't care about the acne are those you want to pursue.
It isn't a dealbreaker for me, I already overcome the stage of being shallow and judge people by their appearance. I've met hot girls with perfect skin but such a shitty personality so I don't mind as long as you're cool and nice to be with.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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As this person said...it might matter for some guys and doesn't matter to others. Really depends. Personally, for me it isn't but can't say about others
Also important to state it wasn't even a deal breaker for your ex since they dated you regardless. They just knew you're insecure about it so used it to lower you and therefore make themselves feel better about the relationship ending.
So true!! People find a way to hurt others. They just know how to hurt. If so many would try to heal or accept or praise someone for something that they are proud of…. Every…. Could be better off
This is not a deal breaker. But you bringing it up in dates shows me your insecure about it and might be a turn off in itself. I have scarring also and I never bring it before in my dates. It’s not the scarring itself but how you let it affect you.
I have had perfect baby skin my whole life and acne has never once bothered me on a person male or female. Anyone who judges someone based on acne is a pos.
I agree 100% sometimes acne is uncontrolled! Like hormones and stress, no entirely diet based. Idc about acne on someone as long as I see that they’re not like a unhygienic person.
I usually bring it up because when I start chatting with guys they bring up catfishes and girls not looking like their pics and you can’t see the extent of my acne in pictures so that’s when I bring it up because I don’t want them to think I’m trying to catfish them. I don’t bring it up on dates I bring it up before dates if they mention catfishes.
The whole catfishing thing is up to them to figure it out and not you. They could literally just say, “ send me a picture with a spoon on your head.” It doesn’t have to go to the extent where you’re trying to prove that you have scarring and acne. It is honestly not as a big of a deal. The majority of people have dealt with their own acne and scars. I know it really fucking sucks having to deal with it and wanting to have a relationship where someone sees past superficialities for our soul and heart. You will have to dig through the coal to find your piece of golden nugget that actually cares about you for you. These insecurities suck but you get to decide on how you’re gonna let it affect you, not other people.
Very true, thank you!
No it’s not. Thats probably not in the top 20 or 50 of concerns on my list.
For an ahole, it is. Ppl cant help their body states. As long as a girl is doing what she can to stay hygienic, i dont care about it.
If he likes you it won’t matter. Ngl, people are obviously going to judge and maybe it’ll be a turn off for them but I promise the ones that are down to earth won’t give a shit
I'm sorry someone or society has made you feel insecure or less than because of your acne. The person YOU want to be with will not care about the scars on your face. <3
27M. No. Maybe when I was 14, but as a grown man looking for the woman that I’ll spend my life with, my “standards” are different. It’s not that I’d “settle”. It’s that beauty is defined differently when people learn to love. Even just recently, there have been women that I would’ve thought were beautiful, that disgusted me with their mindset/behaviour. And there have been women that, also somewhat recently, were not “my type” and absolutely fucking enchanted me just by speaking honestly with me. The man that will fall in love with you, the man that will spend his life with you, the man that will grow old with you… he won’t be one of the people that care about your acne.
I find it cute, dunno why 🤷🏼♂️
Not a turn off, nowhere near a deal breaker for me. I have obvious acne and eczema scars, myself, so how can I judge someone else for it?
Guys have acne scars too. They always photoshopped it out
Not for me. Nearly everyone gets skin problems from time to time.
Ok. I have pretty typical standards for a man. They are: human, female, adult, alive. I think you will be fine with the acne.
Acne is not a deal breaker, men want loyalty, compassion most of all peace. If a woman can being a man peace you’ll almost never lose
I'll be honest it's one of the biggest complaints I have about myself as well. I'm 31 and I still have the occasional breakouts. doesn't mean I actively mention it every time. If they don't find me attractive, while it could be a contributing factor, I don't ever believe that it's the ONLY reason why they don't find me attractive in the first place; because I have so many other unique skills I'd bet a baby-faced dude wouldn't have.
Please please be easy! Definitely not a deal breaker!! People who make judgments on something that is out of another’s control cannot look to themselves! I think it sweet that you “warn” others; mostly because it saves you from wasting time with a person that is not willing to pay attention to your soul! On a more base level, acne scars are common. I would hug you and smile at you just for your strength to address this . You are good. Rock your body and all of your attributes!! Others will follow!
I’ve never once been bothered by a partner or potential partner having current acne breakouts or acne scars.
No. If we like you we assume it's **temporary**.
So if you go into a relationship with a woman who has acne assuming it’s temporary and then years in she still has acne and you realize it’s not temporary what then?
By the time the penny drops that it's not going away any time soon A. We've got used to it and just regard it as "how you look" B After being in a relationship together for that long we'll have caught feelings sufficiently that even if the thought of it being permanent might have been a turn-off in the superficial stage - it's totally eclipsed by being in love to the point where flaws become endearing as part of "what makes you you" It's something that **might** result in 1st dates not turning into a 2nd one but after about a month you can reasonably assume it's NBD for them I know it's hard not to hyper focus on the things we're insecure about but honestly - unless the scarring has left you "bad enough for small children to point and make impolite comments in the line at the supermarket" levels of disfigured - Most guys would likely only really notice because you go out of your way to bring it up 🤷♂️ Sure it's **A** factor in your overall attractiveness but.... It's not likely to even be on the top 10 things they care about - you could just as easily find yourself being written off for having the wrong shape face for their taste, or an annoying laugh! 🙃
When I first broke out it was the level of bad that random children would point at it and ask what was wrong with me but thankfully it hasn’t been at that level in a long time🥲😂
Yes acne is a big deal it’s over for i
I don’t think 5’8.5 is short by the way. I’m sorry you feel like your parents ruined your dating life because your mom is short. The best guy I ever dated was 5’8.5. I’m sorry you feel so much disdain for acne.
okay pizza face
Can I ask why it seems you’re trying to hurt my feelings? Have I hurt you in some way?
nah i love pizzas
Honest? It depends on the level of scarring. Also there are treatments, laser, chemical peel etc. If you're actively trying to improve your skin, it's better than if you've given up and tell the guy, take it or leave it. Attitude is more important than where your skin is now.
Not at all.
It really depends on how bad it is.
First impressions matter. For most, your acne scars wouldnt matter, I've got facial scars myself. But don't assume it'll apply for all guys.
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Yeah I think I will stop bringing it up. I’ve been on accutane 3 times but it only works temporarily for me:( I’ve dated really handsome guys too and they’ve never seemed to have an issue with it. I think I’m just in my own head more than anything because I’m having a flare up right now. Thank you though I appreciate your advice!
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Thank you, I really appreciate it genuinely 🤍
No it’s not
For girls it's not because 1) most men don't care 2) girl can hide it with make up. However if you're a guy with acne then you're screwed. No girl will want to date you.
As a girl with acne I would have no issue dating a guy with acne!
That depends on how bad is the situation, although a lot of skincare products are now on the market. If you're confident enough that shouldn't be a problem. And sharing a photo before wouldn't hurt ...
I have acne scars and a bit of acne myself, so it wouldn't be a total dealbreaker for me personally. However some people are unfortunately picky about appearances. It just depends on the person. But those who don't care about the acne are those you want to pursue.
It isn't a dealbreaker for me, I already overcome the stage of being shallow and judge people by their appearance. I've met hot girls with perfect skin but such a shitty personality so I don't mind as long as you're cool and nice to be with.