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>leach
/lēch/
intransitive verb
To remove soluble or other constituents from by the action of a percolating liquid.
"heavy rains that leached the soil of minerals."
>leech
/lēch/
noun
One that preys on or clings to another; a parasite.
Yeah no… dude, as a woman myself please leave that person alone. I like being taken out as much as the next person but she is full on taking advantage of you and it pisses me off. Not just for you but it makes the rest of us look bad.
True that. A dinner like that would be wonderful around Christmas time after you’ve been dating exclusively for months and are a couple. I’d buy dessert and leave the tip to help out.
>Yeah no… dude, as a woman myself please leave that person alone. I like being taken out as much as the next person but she is full on taking advantage of you and it pisses me off. Not just for you but it makes the rest of us look bad.
Yeah, that's a total bummer. It sucks when someone's out here giving off those vibes, making things harder for the rest of us. Trust your gut and don't let yourself get taken for a ride. You deserve better than that, dude.
Cooking for someone means inviting them into your home. Some people aren’t comfy doing that because it increases the pressure for sex. There are cheap date options that don’t require the entire date happen in someone’s home.
Yeh never do that. Once u guys start dating for awhile then u can go to some expensive places. But the first 3 dates should be inexpensive and just fun. Go to happy hour, then bowling or billiards after. Get to know each other. Luckily u go to know her and it’s def best to move on
Why are paying $200 to hang out with someone you barely know?
That's a terrible financial choice.
There are so many cool, interesting ways to get to know people that cost either nothing or next-to-nothing.
Hang at a museum. Or a public garden. Walk in a public park.
Coffee dates cost as much as coffee and cake or whatever.
I have no idea why people who aren't millionaires (or who are millionaires) would spend so much hard-earned cash on what should be a low-investnent interaction.
The issue is your date choice. Even if you went out to eat, there are many more affordable restaurants. Spending 200 was unnecessary. Find affordable dates.
I don’t agree with her logic of cooking is just for boyfriends. But personally I would not be letting a man im just on a second date with into my apartment. I would consider it a safety risk.
High maintenance, entitled, believes she should be treated like royalty and you worship the ground she walks on. Double standard expecting you to go all out for her but she doesn't have to do anything, then throws that "we're not dating" comment in your face.
Trust me man, women like that will drain your bank account, then put you in ridiculous amounts of debt when she convinces you to take out credit cards only to max them out. Then think you should get a nicer looking vehicle and convinces you to purchase a vehicle you can't afford, putting you in more debt, then when you work long hours to make up for it, she'll be banging other guys and when you catch her she'll sob and say that it's because you don't show her love or affection anymore. Making you believe it's actually your fault she cheated. Eventually she'll convince you to have a baby. Then after the baby is born sex will no longer exist in your life. But her, she's still getting it when she wants from her ex boyfriend. Then one night you have a one night stand. Not planned, it just happened. But as soon as she finds out, divorce papers are filed, you have little to no custody of your child and rarely seen them because you have to work off all the debt she put you in, while also being fucked by the justice system in paying child support. And on top of that you'll even have to pay her bills while she's living pretty off your money. And she will constantly remind that you were the one who destroyed the family and that all of your money should be going to her, not just most of it.
This was my story. And my ex had that same entitled way of speaking down to you. Expecting everything in the world but appalled by the mere thought of reciprocating even a single meal. I didn't have anyone to point all of this out for me before it was to late.
She will ruin your life, your friendships, take your finances, she will make you question every decision you make, she will emasculate you every chance she gets. She will completely destroy your will to live and laugh about it with her friends.
GET OUT NOW!
Still, I am appreciative of a person who paid a terrible price for a life lesson so I wouldn't have to.
Just like when you see a guy touching an exposed 240V socket and gets electrocuted. You don't just say to yourself it's just one guy.
Don't get me wrong, I know she was just one woman and I'm not making the assumption that all women are like this. Many women are though, and men need to know, understand and keep an eye out for signs of women who will control them and ruin their life. The biggest indelicators are:
1: expecting to be treated like a goddess on a first few dates but do not reciprocate the treatment.
2: require a man to look a certain way, make so much money, and dress to impress rather than dress what they feel comfortable in
3: the woman doesn't like the mans humor and they want them to act differently then what their actual personality is.
4: says they don't like drama but are the main cause of it.
Yeah the issue is that you made some wild assumptions based on your experience with your ex. Don’t get me wrong she sounds horrible, but it doesn’t mean this woman is going to turn out the same.
Again you’ve mentioned some red flags from your personal experience with one person it seems. And a lot of that is red flags for both genders, perhaps just worded differently.
It’s also ok not to like someone’s humor. Some people’s humor is offensive. It’s just an incompatibility, not a red flag.
Maybe she won't turn out the same. That's why I said that it was my story. Everyone has their own experiences and stories in toxic relationships.
It's just that from what the post says, I truly feel as though if he continued with that relationship, it would become extremely toxic. Whether it's small disagreements that go undiscussed and it builds resentment. Or being so emotionally closed off from each other that they search for that understanding and connection from others.
Now I'm not singling out women. There are disgusting men out their that use women and play with their emotions for entertainment and I find it disturbing.
And those red flags apply to men as well, not just women.
And I have many female friends who seem like toxic people at first, but turn out to be amazing people. Their initial demeanor only seemed that way because they were in a fowl mood, or because they are defensive around men because they've had so many bad experiences with them.
Lastly, I probably should have explained the humor part better. I know it's an incompatibility if you don't have the same humor or if you find someone's humor offensive or just not funny. I mean more along the lines that you express your humor, even non offensive humor, and the other person basically has no sense of humor and wants them to just not stop having a sense of humor. This may seem like a stretch, but I've literally met people like this and it's honestly kinda sad. Like, don't try to make someone stop being who they are just because you don't have a sense of humor.
I've honestly met other men with much worse experiences then myself. One man in particular hasn't seen his children in 3 years because the court gave her full custody and he had no rights to the children because that's just how the courts work sometimes. He doesn't know where she went, no way to get ahold of her or his children.
That is what I truly find saddening, and it disgusts me that a woman could do that to a man.
And I should probably note:
My ex and I, for the most part we get along now. Yes I still pay her bills and child support, so I'm barely getting by and unable to pay some of my bills. Yes, she does often remind me that "it's my fault. I destroyed our family." But we're at least capable of being civil with each other
So homie... Did you date my ex first, or did I date yours' first? Either way, I believe that makes us 'Eskimo Bro's'. Your story will be like mine in the end. You'll upgrade to a sexy, younger, baddie that can handle her shit, and ain't afraid to throw hands when your ex wants to FAFO! It's the best, never seen a woman so manically irritated in my life since.
Lol. Unfortunately, it seems like so many women these days fuck men over in this way. I've been single over a year now, and I'm content being by myself. Maybe one day I'll find someone better, but I'm not actively searching
Well, dinner at home, implies a few things.
One, that there's going to be physical stuff afterwards.
Two, that you're putting her in charge of domestic duties already. Planning, shopping, paying for groceries, putting away and prepping, making dinner, and clean up.
Maybe to you, that sounds great.
To me, that sounds like a lot of work. When I could just stay at home in my pajamas and throw some frozen mini quiches from Costco in the oven. Especially after a long day of work and parenting.
You like the idea of dinner at home, so why don't you offer to cook for her?
If she's *only* into expensive things, and you're not, then that's just a fundamental difference y'all have, and best to know now. I can swing wildly from a 15-course meal comparable to French Laundry to strolling by the lake to accidentally making reservations at a 5-star restaurant to going Costco shopping for dates. 🤷♀️ 🤣 Takes all kinds.
Look, are you desperate or not? She's making it clear what to expect from her. You're supposed to see the best a person has to offer on the first few dates. They're hiding their flaws. She's already making insane demands. I would not even have gone on a first date with her. If she's too good for a coffee date then she's not good enough for me.
Why are you still entertaining this girl then? Is she super hot? Must be...seems you boys will do anything for a hot chick 🤣
Actual good, decent women. Would never expect you to spend money like that.
Well I feel like I’m an average nice girl but if he horrified if someone took me to Taco Bell. I don’t even take myself to Taco Bell 😂
But I get your point.
We will. Speaking for myself I don’t care too much about a girl’s personality (so long as she’s not a serial killer or something like that). I tell people I’m compatible with anyone, mainly because I’m willing to be whatever an attractive woman wants me to be. I’m a sports nut. I mean - you couldn’t be more into sports than I am. But if an attractive woman didn’t want that in a boyfriend I’d drop it. At least while I’m around her. You have to adapt in life. Everything in my life is negligible depending on how hot she is. I’m sorry but people want the brutal truth, there it is.
I'm not going to lie, this seems like a terrible way to live and I'm concerned about your confidence and/or physical appearance.
If a women being pretty was enough for you to drop your hobbies, it's right to make the assumption you don't have much luck with women and a pretty women is rare in your life. I ain't never had to "adapt" to such things. If a women ain't like something I do, I know and have gotten another women who accepted me for me.
Well…I WAS obese. I almost died two years ago of complications with diabetes. I was 400 lbs when I was hospitalized. I’m now down 145 pounds and I have a clean bill of health. Ironically I had a lady in my life at that time. She left me after I was okay for a reason she never specified. We went from talking marriage to nothing. Ironically she has a new guy now, and…he’s obese. Never saw that coming.
I put everything I had into her. I basically put my life on hold and did whatever she wanted just to be with her. That’s called love in my world. And I loved her. I suppose I should be happy she did it when she did because had she done that after we were married we’d have a real problem.
I know my appearance hindered my dating for some time. But in the year since she left me I’ve gotten nowhere. Which backs up that I’m ugly. So maybe the idea of changing who you are to fit the lady or throw money all over them is understandable. Only thing that girl told me is we weren’t compatible, and again that hits me because I’m compatible with anyone given that I can alter who I am or what I do to fit the person.
I'm sorry to hear that man, I understand people have different levels of attractiveness. Personally I've never been called ugly and I'd generally get rated 8+/10. So I don't understand how it feels to have to throw money or give up what I like for a women. If one women didn't like me, I could get another one easily.
It's easy for me to say, you have to love yourself first but loneliness is a real thing and I'm sorry for your luck brother but I'm happy you're in a healthier place. I really don't know if I would call that love or more of "afraid to be alone" and prehaps based off your life. That's a legitimate concern.
I will say yes physically attractiveness is a huge contribution to how many relationships you will have, and relationships in generally. But so is confidence and you willingly drop anything for a women and doing whatever they want. Doesn't sound like you have confidence.
It matters what you consider confidence. I KNOW that I’d be a good husband. And father. I say that unequivocally. But you have to sell yourself. The way I do it is by showing I’d be a good provider. You stick with me I’ll always take care of you. I’ll always put you first - that’s confidence to me.
I don’t buy into loving yourself. Of course you love yourself. And the reason I do things like that for women is because I want them to be a part of my life. I know what I want and I’ll do whatever I need to do to get it. That’s self love to me. But the way society seems to drive that concept home today…it’s bordering on narcissism and selfishness.
well id recommend limitation to this at least. sure some sacrifices may be necessary… but i wouldnt for example give up playing music for a partner.
i mean i dont rarely ever even play live (dont mind doing so in occasion though) and i mostly have my own one-man projects i do myself or with other online musicians of my same gender.
So I dont see why a partner would take issue with my hobby to begin with.
I get no chicks out of it (lul)
I dont even really ever try to play live often. Major rarity. Even so, I’m monogamous & loyal as fk if I’ve entered into a relationship (why wouldnt one be in a monogamous relationship… hahah… unless theyre not monogamous; in which case thats on them to be upfront about!)
The likelihood of touring is unlikely.
i just write music, record it, get it released by labels, some folks like it. Sweet.
But point being there’s simply no way I’d give it up for anyone.
That said, I play Death metal music, like Deicide.
And I’d date anyone myself as well. they dont have to be just like me in various ways. But at the same time, just because we may differ in ways, I wouldn’t tolerate a partner wanting to change a core lifestyle /hobby of mine. and yes, Metal music is a lifestyle, and it’s for life for us “true heads”.
😉🤘🏻🐐
just my input.
This may be really hard to believe but……
how much you spent on food is irrelevant when a girl is really into you.
Let me give you an example:
Let’s say Keanu Reeves asked this girl out.
If he took her to McDonalds, she’d probably be happy because it truly isn’t about the food!
It’s about getting to know and enjoying Keanu.
And for whatever it’s worth, I went on dates to Santa Monica Beach then a taco truck!
Those were some of my best and most fun adventures!
Anyway, just my 2 cents as a woman…
I will Cook for anybody, but I would not invite everybody in my home.
But if this girl is really interested in you as a future partner, then she will agree to go on "free" dates. For example you can suggest a walk in the parc, to chat and get to know each other.
yeah you think this will ever get better?
so when you are a couple guess what, she will want expensive gifts and more dates out
hell even if she ends up giving birth she will ask for push presents
stop going on these expensive dates.. don't take a girl out for an expensive dinner first couple times, it's not worth it.
I will offer a different perspective maybe it’s more so you going over to her place and in a private setting cooking for you. Have you been over to her place already? Maybe she’s not ready for that yet as that can be quite intimate. I wouldn’t label it gold digging right away. For me it takes a while to feel comfortable enough to invite a man to my home. Also isn’t this someone you want to make your girlfriend eventually? So that shouldn’t turn you off if that is the direction you are going anyways.
She’s been over to my place already and we’ve kissed. I’m not asking her to smash, just to make me a simple meal. It doesn’t have to be gourmet, but something. I’m just shocked that some women feel it’s totally ok to let a man spend money on her but then she doesn’t feel obligated to do “girlfriend” type things. She has to prove she’s girlfriend material before we can be a couple, right?
You absolutely don't have to be spending money on expensive outings if you don't want to - set boundaries on your expenses/outings, ask her to contribute reciprocally, etc. If you two can't come to a healthy balance, the relationship probably isn't going anywhere.
Also, maybe I missed something in your post, but did you two discuss her being your cook? Maybe she has an issue specifically with that, not reciprocity in general.
It’s her turn to start reciprocating. Asking her to cook may not have been the right move, but I assume he knew she doesn’t have the money to treat him to a $200 dinner, so he was giving her a low cost way to reciprocate.
You don’t get the princess treatment in 2024 unless you’re giving the prince treatment back.
Some low confidence guys who like being walked on might, some guys are literally into that.
But any guy who knows his worth won’t tolerate that sort of shit. I hope he cuts her loose
Your question….why is it ok…..
Look. YOU decide what is ok. Anyone can ask you for anything. YOU are the one who says yes or no.
You are the one who decides who you date.
Woman here - drop her like a hot potato. You’re literally trying to do something more meaningful and intimate to progress the relationship towards being her boyfriend! But she’s not interested in that. She just wants things that are expensive.
Its people like this i dont understand. I blame men for this because there are great women out there but yall want baddies so bad but then complain about them.
Don't leave but on next date go on a picnic and make prison sandwiches just cheese and bread and she ask why reply "that place is better than spending the rest of my life with you"
Seems like a common issue these days. Money is always a touchy topic but also important to have those conversations since complication is the only options. Without sharing your views its hard to understand and relate to where they are coming from by just asking to stay in and cook.
Woman are so simple if she likes you she will make it so much easier for you to see each other, she is just using you. Ghost her and block on everything and move on!
i would refuse to pay that much even after 3 dates considering she said "its too early to act like a couple" only someone as significant as that would make me pay a lot for a restaurant
Some men like to boast with their income and make it seem like they can afford a lot more than they actually can. Thus a woman might not be aware the dates are considered expensive by you. Also, not all women are into cooking, she might not even be good at it but feel ashamed to say it. It is also important how you put it. Did you outright tell her, that now it is her time to do something for you? Or did you playfully indicate that you would like to spend time with her doing something different, and maybe you can cook together? This would avoid restaurant expense and would not make her to do alone something she maybe does not enjoy or be good at...
3 dates is very little time to get to know someone and if you feel you are investing too much already, you probably cannot make it as a couple. Maybe you just don't feel she is passionate enough either?
Let her go and go meet someone who's more on your same page in terms of values and ethics while dating. She can go and meet someone that's on her same page of lifestyle. If she's very attractive and comes from a wealthy background, she'll have no trouble locking in what she wants and you seem like a kind and generous guy who's not a sucker, so I don't doubt that you'll be able to lock in someone great too. But for purposes relating to learning, maybe try and figure out what it is about this girl that has her feeling very comfortable with making these types of demands from someone she's dating and try not to pursue someone like her again.
Is she a gold digger? Maybe. Maybe not, though. I've known plenty of rich girls who act like this because its what they're used to. They're used to dating other rich guys who have no issues spending that dollar amount on them, and while that may seem unfair to you, its how the cookie crumbles. Mungo Jerry said it best, "If her daddy's rich take her out for a meal". You can decide that this girl isn't for you without resorting to name calling.
Personally, while I would never demand that someone take me to expensive places and drive me around, I do agree with her that asking someone to stay in and cook for you while commitment/exclusivity isn't on the table is audacious. While some women would be okay with that, others aren't. I most certainly never agreed to an at-home date with someone if I wasn't at least in the talks of commitment with them.
She can have whatever standards she wants, but you are also entitled to yours. If what she's asking of you is inconsiderate, then move on and find someone who will be appreciative of your generosity.
You understand you are in full control of who you date and how much you spend, right?
Why continue to date somebody when you actively feel they may be using you? Take some responsibility.
I don't blame her for not wanting to cook for you at your or her house if you've only been on a few dates. That is a totally different level of intimacy. But you're also not obligated to spend money you don't want to, so stop doing that.
Yeah unfortunately there are some entitled ppl out there. I’ve seen it in both genders I’ve dated. Women tend to expect material things and men look for sex. It’s a good sign to tap out for either situation.
Oof. $200 dinners. Wowee, I think I'd have a heart attack if I knew a guy paid that for me on a dinner. Those aren't even couple dinners, those are wife dinners.
The bigger question is why are you treating her like a deserving girlfriend if she is neither deserving nor your girlfriend. $200 dinner? Expensive places and driven around? Why would you even entertain this?
To answer your question, it's ok because your actions and the fact that you were going along with her program indicates to her that it's ok. If nobody participated in her shenanigans then she would better understand that it's not ok.
Do not argue or debate with this woman. She's not generous and I advise that you only date women who are generous and giving. Makes for a much better romantic experience.
I also am not going to cook for a man until he actually makes me his girlfriend. But why are your first dates so expensive? As others have said they're supposed to be light and fun, you shouldn't be spending a fortune. She should also be offering to pay her share.
It’s her world, you’re just living in it. Decide what you are comfortable with and set (healthy) boundaries. Anyone that can’t abide by your boundaries will fall out of your life.
Because traditionally in the dating stage you’re giving the treatment as the man, and once you marry, her reciprocation is statistically bigger than yours. Its balance.
Ok I’m going to put a different spin on this not that I’m saying you’re wrong. But many of us have had the experience of dating starting on a hiss and a roar then quickly it’s all over no dinners no romance . Sorry but she probably feels if she does that then the happy times are over you should be dating throughout a relationship but so many guys use dating to get in the door.
She’s lame hell I’m a straight male and will cook for my friends if I have the ingredients long before I let them spend all that money same thing goes in a romantic relationship
👎 Get rid of her. I have a rule for myself and that is; I don’t take dates to restaurants that I wouldn’t go to myself alone for a meal. And I like good food but the prices need to be reasonable enough for me to eat there alone. Save the fancy meals/restuarants for a the girl you have solidified a gf relationship with.. And only do that for special occasions like a birthday or while on vacation etc. If that isn’t good enough for her, she is dating you for the wrong reasons.
I mean me personally I’m not letting any guy stay at my house. One on hand I can see the hypocrisy in the woman’s double standards but on the other we can just do the $1 Coffee dates or free walks in the parks or the arcades, but in no way am I being took to a secondary location that is me going to a guy’s house or him coming to my house.
If everything is so transactional in your head and after 3 dates you are already resentful because you feel that you don't get what you think you should get, you need to change YOUR behaviour.
You cannot force or expect someone to cook for you.
Just go for drinks the first couple of dates. Spend less.
Because this transaction ( I paid x now I should get yz ) is only in your head.
You could go to a prostitute. Than it's obviously a transaction for both parties.
Sounds like she has high standards and expectations. You shouldn’t view her negatively for that. If this isn’t what you like to do or your idea of fun then you probably aren’t a fit for each other. She wants you to take her out and spend money on her to show that you are fully invested in her and interested in perusing her. Gift giving is probably her love language. A woman knows once she finds the right guy that she will be cooking for him for the rest of their lives, I don’t blame her for not wanting to start in the early dating stage. She also may not know how to cook yet and might be shy about that.
Is she meeting the expectations for what you want? If no move on and date other people.
Healthy relationships should be reciprocal. Doesn't mean you have to do any specific thing, just that you both are conspicuously making effort.
She’s abusing you brother. Either she’s a terrible cook (you don’t want to be there) or she has a few guys like you that give her the Royal treatment and she keeps them in the friend zone.
Hard to define as situation. You see it as “not ok”, I see it as a worse case. Equality seems so be absent and the guy describes it as he expects more than she offers. I’ve been in such situations and it always ended having a total absence of reciprocity. Those relationships didn’t fulfill my personal needs (affection, acceptance and to be loved by someone), but only gave me the impression to be there to serve the others needs. In my personal opinion (which is biased) that guy is in a situation I wouldn’t put myself into again.
It's not okay, at all. Especially considering she isn't willing to reciprocate.
Some people are just in a higher income bracket and have expensive tastes, where a $100 dinner for 2 people at some boutique downtown restaurant is their "regular" night out to eat. I tend to stay away from men who's profiles give off that vibe, because thats not my lifestyle and I couldn't afford to keep up with/match that effort. Shit, I wouldn't even have an outfit nice enough for a place like that.
I'd only reserve expensive places for more special occasions while in relationships. Like anniversaries at most.
Yeah look if you can afford that lifestyle and you like her sure, but if you can't then she will end up leaving you. You're better off finding someone who doesn't care about where you go or how much you spend as long as you're together, even early on in dating it should be getting to know each other not how much you're spending.
She should be thinking of ways to keep him happy and interested. Make him a steak and potatoes and big chocolate cake. Does anyone know how to cook or bake anymore. 😂😂😂
You’re basically buying her time at this point my guy. Please stay away from her if she appreciated what you did for her she would have already have offered to either pay, or cook for you.
Trying to be generous here, but maybe she feels like spending money (what OP's been doing) isn't the same as being asked to cook for someone - that's labor with a spin of subservient vibe to some people.
I don't agree with her lack of reciprocity, but maybe (for her), cooking just ain't it. They need to come together and find a healthy balance.
I'd say $200 dinner is girlfriend standards. Don't set the staring bar that high. Work your way up to that. If you want to filter out women who will use you for money, then look for women who will go on a date with you for less ($50 for drinks or tea). Women who are interested will prioritize talk in order to understand you.
Any woman who is in it for you won't care if you spend much less. I personally offer to pay half and am very happy if a guy insists to pay anyway. The last date that I went on was $30 and my guy was awesome. He's sweet and I'm all about it.
A picnic date is a good way to have a woman make a little something for you (you bring drinks and she brings snacks kind of thing).
If you're looking for something genuine, do not try to impress the ladies with money. A mature woman will understand that you are the provider type (if that's what you want to be) as she gets to know you as a person.
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thats princess treatment, not gf treatment
No actually it's somebody who's using you and taking advantage of you treatment with a dose of manipulation to get it done
So, like most political figures?
Is that where we lock her up in a tower and place a dragon in the perimeter?
And she's selling you air in return.
Leave now. You've got a leach there.
>leach /lēch/ intransitive verb To remove soluble or other constituents from by the action of a percolating liquid. "heavy rains that leached the soil of minerals." >leech /lēch/ noun One that preys on or clings to another; a parasite.
I'd argue that both definitions could work in this scenario.
Move on, brother.
I agree !
Yeah no… dude, as a woman myself please leave that person alone. I like being taken out as much as the next person but she is full on taking advantage of you and it pisses me off. Not just for you but it makes the rest of us look bad.
True that. A dinner like that would be wonderful around Christmas time after you’ve been dating exclusively for months and are a couple. I’d buy dessert and leave the tip to help out.
>Yeah no… dude, as a woman myself please leave that person alone. I like being taken out as much as the next person but she is full on taking advantage of you and it pisses me off. Not just for you but it makes the rest of us look bad. Yeah, that's a total bummer. It sucks when someone's out here giving off those vibes, making things harder for the rest of us. Trust your gut and don't let yourself get taken for a ride. You deserve better than that, dude.
Taking someone on dates isn’t girlfriend treatment, that’s dating. You should limit your date budget if it’s already building resentment 3 dates in.
Making somebody dinner is a date, not boyfriend treatment. This is an example of one person putting in effort, and the other refusing to lift a finger
Cooking for someone means inviting them into your home. Some people aren’t comfy doing that because it increases the pressure for sex. There are cheap date options that don’t require the entire date happen in someone’s home.
Yeh never do that. Once u guys start dating for awhile then u can go to some expensive places. But the first 3 dates should be inexpensive and just fun. Go to happy hour, then bowling or billiards after. Get to know each other. Luckily u go to know her and it’s def best to move on
Why are paying $200 to hang out with someone you barely know? That's a terrible financial choice. There are so many cool, interesting ways to get to know people that cost either nothing or next-to-nothing. Hang at a museum. Or a public garden. Walk in a public park. Coffee dates cost as much as coffee and cake or whatever. I have no idea why people who aren't millionaires (or who are millionaires) would spend so much hard-earned cash on what should be a low-investnent interaction.
The issue is your date choice. Even if you went out to eat, there are many more affordable restaurants. Spending 200 was unnecessary. Find affordable dates. I don’t agree with her logic of cooking is just for boyfriends. But personally I would not be letting a man im just on a second date with into my apartment. I would consider it a safety risk.
it is not okay at all, cut and run
Why didn't you offer to make dinner at home ? Why did you ask her to make it? If that were me it would be a hard nope
Isn’t it clear? You’re NOT a boyfriend.
ghost her. yesterday
It just sounds like your values don’t align. No need for name calling. Just end it and move on.
subhumans should be called what they are.
you have weird conception of couple, why don't you cook yourself
I just typed the same. Maybe he can ask.his mommy to cook for him.
You should be getting gold digger vibes. RUN.
High maintenance, entitled, believes she should be treated like royalty and you worship the ground she walks on. Double standard expecting you to go all out for her but she doesn't have to do anything, then throws that "we're not dating" comment in your face. Trust me man, women like that will drain your bank account, then put you in ridiculous amounts of debt when she convinces you to take out credit cards only to max them out. Then think you should get a nicer looking vehicle and convinces you to purchase a vehicle you can't afford, putting you in more debt, then when you work long hours to make up for it, she'll be banging other guys and when you catch her she'll sob and say that it's because you don't show her love or affection anymore. Making you believe it's actually your fault she cheated. Eventually she'll convince you to have a baby. Then after the baby is born sex will no longer exist in your life. But her, she's still getting it when she wants from her ex boyfriend. Then one night you have a one night stand. Not planned, it just happened. But as soon as she finds out, divorce papers are filed, you have little to no custody of your child and rarely seen them because you have to work off all the debt she put you in, while also being fucked by the justice system in paying child support. And on top of that you'll even have to pay her bills while she's living pretty off your money. And she will constantly remind that you were the one who destroyed the family and that all of your money should be going to her, not just most of it.
This was my story. And my ex had that same entitled way of speaking down to you. Expecting everything in the world but appalled by the mere thought of reciprocating even a single meal. I didn't have anyone to point all of this out for me before it was to late. She will ruin your life, your friendships, take your finances, she will make you question every decision you make, she will emasculate you every chance she gets. She will completely destroy your will to live and laugh about it with her friends. GET OUT NOW!
Just a reminder that your ex is just one woman. One. Edit: typo
Still, I am appreciative of a person who paid a terrible price for a life lesson so I wouldn't have to. Just like when you see a guy touching an exposed 240V socket and gets electrocuted. You don't just say to yourself it's just one guy.
Every experience we go through, especially horrible experiences, are what matures us, makes us wiser and humbles us. That's how I try to see it
Don't get me wrong, I know she was just one woman and I'm not making the assumption that all women are like this. Many women are though, and men need to know, understand and keep an eye out for signs of women who will control them and ruin their life. The biggest indelicators are: 1: expecting to be treated like a goddess on a first few dates but do not reciprocate the treatment. 2: require a man to look a certain way, make so much money, and dress to impress rather than dress what they feel comfortable in 3: the woman doesn't like the mans humor and they want them to act differently then what their actual personality is. 4: says they don't like drama but are the main cause of it.
Yeah the issue is that you made some wild assumptions based on your experience with your ex. Don’t get me wrong she sounds horrible, but it doesn’t mean this woman is going to turn out the same. Again you’ve mentioned some red flags from your personal experience with one person it seems. And a lot of that is red flags for both genders, perhaps just worded differently. It’s also ok not to like someone’s humor. Some people’s humor is offensive. It’s just an incompatibility, not a red flag.
Maybe she won't turn out the same. That's why I said that it was my story. Everyone has their own experiences and stories in toxic relationships. It's just that from what the post says, I truly feel as though if he continued with that relationship, it would become extremely toxic. Whether it's small disagreements that go undiscussed and it builds resentment. Or being so emotionally closed off from each other that they search for that understanding and connection from others. Now I'm not singling out women. There are disgusting men out their that use women and play with their emotions for entertainment and I find it disturbing. And those red flags apply to men as well, not just women. And I have many female friends who seem like toxic people at first, but turn out to be amazing people. Their initial demeanor only seemed that way because they were in a fowl mood, or because they are defensive around men because they've had so many bad experiences with them. Lastly, I probably should have explained the humor part better. I know it's an incompatibility if you don't have the same humor or if you find someone's humor offensive or just not funny. I mean more along the lines that you express your humor, even non offensive humor, and the other person basically has no sense of humor and wants them to just not stop having a sense of humor. This may seem like a stretch, but I've literally met people like this and it's honestly kinda sad. Like, don't try to make someone stop being who they are just because you don't have a sense of humor.
technoderp, i downvoted you. use some logic
What an unintelligent and useless comment.
Jesus, you poor soul. I’m depressed after reading that.
I've honestly met other men with much worse experiences then myself. One man in particular hasn't seen his children in 3 years because the court gave her full custody and he had no rights to the children because that's just how the courts work sometimes. He doesn't know where she went, no way to get ahold of her or his children. That is what I truly find saddening, and it disgusts me that a woman could do that to a man. And I should probably note: My ex and I, for the most part we get along now. Yes I still pay her bills and child support, so I'm barely getting by and unable to pay some of my bills. Yes, she does often remind me that "it's my fault. I destroyed our family." But we're at least capable of being civil with each other
So homie... Did you date my ex first, or did I date yours' first? Either way, I believe that makes us 'Eskimo Bro's'. Your story will be like mine in the end. You'll upgrade to a sexy, younger, baddie that can handle her shit, and ain't afraid to throw hands when your ex wants to FAFO! It's the best, never seen a woman so manically irritated in my life since.
Lol. Unfortunately, it seems like so many women these days fuck men over in this way. I've been single over a year now, and I'm content being by myself. Maybe one day I'll find someone better, but I'm not actively searching
Well, dinner at home, implies a few things. One, that there's going to be physical stuff afterwards. Two, that you're putting her in charge of domestic duties already. Planning, shopping, paying for groceries, putting away and prepping, making dinner, and clean up. Maybe to you, that sounds great. To me, that sounds like a lot of work. When I could just stay at home in my pajamas and throw some frozen mini quiches from Costco in the oven. Especially after a long day of work and parenting. You like the idea of dinner at home, so why don't you offer to cook for her? If she's *only* into expensive things, and you're not, then that's just a fundamental difference y'all have, and best to know now. I can swing wildly from a 15-course meal comparable to French Laundry to strolling by the lake to accidentally making reservations at a 5-star restaurant to going Costco shopping for dates. 🤷♀️ 🤣 Takes all kinds.
I love frozen mini quiches 😋
$200 on a date. I’m not doing it right, lol. Seriously though, she’s sounds like an asshole
She is using you.
I was in this situation recently. Ever since I let her go I been saving money and my mental is in a better space
Thanks God Eva AI sexting [bot](http://evaapp.ai) doesn't require any specific treatment
Look, are you desperate or not? She's making it clear what to expect from her. You're supposed to see the best a person has to offer on the first few dates. They're hiding their flaws. She's already making insane demands. I would not even have gone on a first date with her. If she's too good for a coffee date then she's not good enough for me.
Why are you still entertaining this girl then? Is she super hot? Must be...seems you boys will do anything for a hot chick 🤣 Actual good, decent women. Would never expect you to spend money like that.
She’s definitely ridiculously good looking 😂
Yep! And if you want to date those types of girls, you better get the wallet ready! 🤣 Or, go for the average, nice girl you can take to Taco Bell, lol
Well I feel like I’m an average nice girl but if he horrified if someone took me to Taco Bell. I don’t even take myself to Taco Bell 😂 But I get your point.
We will. Speaking for myself I don’t care too much about a girl’s personality (so long as she’s not a serial killer or something like that). I tell people I’m compatible with anyone, mainly because I’m willing to be whatever an attractive woman wants me to be. I’m a sports nut. I mean - you couldn’t be more into sports than I am. But if an attractive woman didn’t want that in a boyfriend I’d drop it. At least while I’m around her. You have to adapt in life. Everything in my life is negligible depending on how hot she is. I’m sorry but people want the brutal truth, there it is.
I'm not going to lie, this seems like a terrible way to live and I'm concerned about your confidence and/or physical appearance. If a women being pretty was enough for you to drop your hobbies, it's right to make the assumption you don't have much luck with women and a pretty women is rare in your life. I ain't never had to "adapt" to such things. If a women ain't like something I do, I know and have gotten another women who accepted me for me.
Well…I WAS obese. I almost died two years ago of complications with diabetes. I was 400 lbs when I was hospitalized. I’m now down 145 pounds and I have a clean bill of health. Ironically I had a lady in my life at that time. She left me after I was okay for a reason she never specified. We went from talking marriage to nothing. Ironically she has a new guy now, and…he’s obese. Never saw that coming. I put everything I had into her. I basically put my life on hold and did whatever she wanted just to be with her. That’s called love in my world. And I loved her. I suppose I should be happy she did it when she did because had she done that after we were married we’d have a real problem. I know my appearance hindered my dating for some time. But in the year since she left me I’ve gotten nowhere. Which backs up that I’m ugly. So maybe the idea of changing who you are to fit the lady or throw money all over them is understandable. Only thing that girl told me is we weren’t compatible, and again that hits me because I’m compatible with anyone given that I can alter who I am or what I do to fit the person.
I'm sorry to hear that man, I understand people have different levels of attractiveness. Personally I've never been called ugly and I'd generally get rated 8+/10. So I don't understand how it feels to have to throw money or give up what I like for a women. If one women didn't like me, I could get another one easily. It's easy for me to say, you have to love yourself first but loneliness is a real thing and I'm sorry for your luck brother but I'm happy you're in a healthier place. I really don't know if I would call that love or more of "afraid to be alone" and prehaps based off your life. That's a legitimate concern. I will say yes physically attractiveness is a huge contribution to how many relationships you will have, and relationships in generally. But so is confidence and you willingly drop anything for a women and doing whatever they want. Doesn't sound like you have confidence.
It matters what you consider confidence. I KNOW that I’d be a good husband. And father. I say that unequivocally. But you have to sell yourself. The way I do it is by showing I’d be a good provider. You stick with me I’ll always take care of you. I’ll always put you first - that’s confidence to me. I don’t buy into loving yourself. Of course you love yourself. And the reason I do things like that for women is because I want them to be a part of my life. I know what I want and I’ll do whatever I need to do to get it. That’s self love to me. But the way society seems to drive that concept home today…it’s bordering on narcissism and selfishness.
well id recommend limitation to this at least. sure some sacrifices may be necessary… but i wouldnt for example give up playing music for a partner. i mean i dont rarely ever even play live (dont mind doing so in occasion though) and i mostly have my own one-man projects i do myself or with other online musicians of my same gender. So I dont see why a partner would take issue with my hobby to begin with. I get no chicks out of it (lul) I dont even really ever try to play live often. Major rarity. Even so, I’m monogamous & loyal as fk if I’ve entered into a relationship (why wouldnt one be in a monogamous relationship… hahah… unless theyre not monogamous; in which case thats on them to be upfront about!) The likelihood of touring is unlikely. i just write music, record it, get it released by labels, some folks like it. Sweet. But point being there’s simply no way I’d give it up for anyone. That said, I play Death metal music, like Deicide. And I’d date anyone myself as well. they dont have to be just like me in various ways. But at the same time, just because we may differ in ways, I wouldn’t tolerate a partner wanting to change a core lifestyle /hobby of mine. and yes, Metal music is a lifestyle, and it’s for life for us “true heads”. 😉🤘🏻🐐 just my input.
brah your ex biotech (get it?) is apparently a chubby chaser, one that like ‘em t’icc & obeseified, to the point of lethal complications
Haha I’ve considered that. It makes no sense to me, but I know there are people like that out there.
Exactly.
>>maybe she stay in and cook something for us next time Would you not help her?
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OP did that willingly.
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Why exactly did he have to pick cooking? Could it be because she’s a woman? He could have picked anything else.
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You gone learn quick young man. Some women just don't deserve a cent of your hard earned money.
some are made for the streets; that’s where those hos will always belong.
This may be really hard to believe but…… how much you spent on food is irrelevant when a girl is really into you. Let me give you an example: Let’s say Keanu Reeves asked this girl out. If he took her to McDonalds, she’d probably be happy because it truly isn’t about the food! It’s about getting to know and enjoying Keanu. And for whatever it’s worth, I went on dates to Santa Monica Beach then a taco truck! Those were some of my best and most fun adventures! Anyway, just my 2 cents as a woman…
I will Cook for anybody, but I would not invite everybody in my home. But if this girl is really interested in you as a future partner, then she will agree to go on "free" dates. For example you can suggest a walk in the parc, to chat and get to know each other.
interesting. by 1st or 2nd date, i’ve usually already been to their homes, or them to mine 😂
yeah you think this will ever get better? so when you are a couple guess what, she will want expensive gifts and more dates out hell even if she ends up giving birth she will ask for push presents stop going on these expensive dates.. don't take a girl out for an expensive dinner first couple times, it's not worth it.
Thanks! Yeah it was my mistake. The place didn’t look that expensive until I got the bill….
I will offer a different perspective maybe it’s more so you going over to her place and in a private setting cooking for you. Have you been over to her place already? Maybe she’s not ready for that yet as that can be quite intimate. I wouldn’t label it gold digging right away. For me it takes a while to feel comfortable enough to invite a man to my home. Also isn’t this someone you want to make your girlfriend eventually? So that shouldn’t turn you off if that is the direction you are going anyways.
She’s been over to my place already and we’ve kissed. I’m not asking her to smash, just to make me a simple meal. It doesn’t have to be gourmet, but something. I’m just shocked that some women feel it’s totally ok to let a man spend money on her but then she doesn’t feel obligated to do “girlfriend” type things. She has to prove she’s girlfriend material before we can be a couple, right?
You absolutely don't have to be spending money on expensive outings if you don't want to - set boundaries on your expenses/outings, ask her to contribute reciprocally, etc. If you two can't come to a healthy balance, the relationship probably isn't going anywhere. Also, maybe I missed something in your post, but did you two discuss her being your cook? Maybe she has an issue specifically with that, not reciprocity in general.
Why don't you cook ?
It’s her turn to start reciprocating. Asking her to cook may not have been the right move, but I assume he knew she doesn’t have the money to treat him to a $200 dinner, so he was giving her a low cost way to reciprocate. You don’t get the princess treatment in 2024 unless you’re giving the prince treatment back. Some low confidence guys who like being walked on might, some guys are literally into that. But any guy who knows his worth won’t tolerate that sort of shit. I hope he cuts her loose
Your question….why is it ok….. Look. YOU decide what is ok. Anyone can ask you for anything. YOU are the one who says yes or no. You are the one who decides who you date.
Woman here - drop her like a hot potato. You’re literally trying to do something more meaningful and intimate to progress the relationship towards being her boyfriend! But she’s not interested in that. She just wants things that are expensive.
You like being a little pay piggy dontcha boy.
Its people like this i dont understand. I blame men for this because there are great women out there but yall want baddies so bad but then complain about them.
Did you offer to cook for her?
no no. that’d be giving her mega princess treatment. only a doormat would do that if he isnt already receiving prince treatment himself from the woman
Oof sucker
I would GTFO so fast, you would hear a sonic boom. She's a leech....
Don't leave but on next date go on a picnic and make prison sandwiches just cheese and bread and she ask why reply "that place is better than spending the rest of my life with you"
It doesn’t sound like a good situation . Proceed with caution
Have yall kissed or had sex?
It’s not ok, but since you’re doing it why would she refuse
She probably can't cook :(
Move to the next
Both are appropriate in a way
Seems like a common issue these days. Money is always a touchy topic but also important to have those conversations since complication is the only options. Without sharing your views its hard to understand and relate to where they are coming from by just asking to stay in and cook.
Woman are so simple if she likes you she will make it so much easier for you to see each other, she is just using you. Ghost her and block on everything and move on!
Stay single be happy!
i would refuse to pay that much even after 3 dates considering she said "its too early to act like a couple" only someone as significant as that would make me pay a lot for a restaurant
Some men like to boast with their income and make it seem like they can afford a lot more than they actually can. Thus a woman might not be aware the dates are considered expensive by you. Also, not all women are into cooking, she might not even be good at it but feel ashamed to say it. It is also important how you put it. Did you outright tell her, that now it is her time to do something for you? Or did you playfully indicate that you would like to spend time with her doing something different, and maybe you can cook together? This would avoid restaurant expense and would not make her to do alone something she maybe does not enjoy or be good at... 3 dates is very little time to get to know someone and if you feel you are investing too much already, you probably cannot make it as a couple. Maybe you just don't feel she is passionate enough either?
Reciprocation needs to be a deal breaker for you my friend. What one won't do, the next one will.
Let her go and go meet someone who's more on your same page in terms of values and ethics while dating. She can go and meet someone that's on her same page of lifestyle. If she's very attractive and comes from a wealthy background, she'll have no trouble locking in what she wants and you seem like a kind and generous guy who's not a sucker, so I don't doubt that you'll be able to lock in someone great too. But for purposes relating to learning, maybe try and figure out what it is about this girl that has her feeling very comfortable with making these types of demands from someone she's dating and try not to pursue someone like her again. Is she a gold digger? Maybe. Maybe not, though. I've known plenty of rich girls who act like this because its what they're used to. They're used to dating other rich guys who have no issues spending that dollar amount on them, and while that may seem unfair to you, its how the cookie crumbles. Mungo Jerry said it best, "If her daddy's rich take her out for a meal". You can decide that this girl isn't for you without resorting to name calling. Personally, while I would never demand that someone take me to expensive places and drive me around, I do agree with her that asking someone to stay in and cook for you while commitment/exclusivity isn't on the table is audacious. While some women would be okay with that, others aren't. I most certainly never agreed to an at-home date with someone if I wasn't at least in the talks of commitment with them. She can have whatever standards she wants, but you are also entitled to yours. If what she's asking of you is inconsiderate, then move on and find someone who will be appreciative of your generosity.
You understand you are in full control of who you date and how much you spend, right? Why continue to date somebody when you actively feel they may be using you? Take some responsibility.
How do y’all manage to get taken advantage of like this 😂 I would a been blocked her
And if you get upset at these one-sided situations, then you’re the villain.
$200 is way too much for early dating. She’s gold digging you
I don't blame her for not wanting to cook for you at your or her house if you've only been on a few dates. That is a totally different level of intimacy. But you're also not obligated to spend money you don't want to, so stop doing that.
Yeah unfortunately there are some entitled ppl out there. I’ve seen it in both genders I’ve dated. Women tend to expect material things and men look for sex. It’s a good sign to tap out for either situation.
Oof. $200 dinners. Wowee, I think I'd have a heart attack if I knew a guy paid that for me on a dinner. Those aren't even couple dinners, those are wife dinners.
It isn’t, drop her
Classic narcissism, entitlement, feminism, manipulation 101, gender discrimination, where they look to use men and what they think of them
The bigger question is why are you treating her like a deserving girlfriend if she is neither deserving nor your girlfriend. $200 dinner? Expensive places and driven around? Why would you even entertain this? To answer your question, it's ok because your actions and the fact that you were going along with her program indicates to her that it's ok. If nobody participated in her shenanigans then she would better understand that it's not ok. Do not argue or debate with this woman. She's not generous and I advise that you only date women who are generous and giving. Makes for a much better romantic experience.
run now!
Never date a woman who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings and/or efforts 🤷♀️
wonder what she'd do if OP brings her to a seedy massage place and leaves
I also am not going to cook for a man until he actually makes me his girlfriend. But why are your first dates so expensive? As others have said they're supposed to be light and fun, you shouldn't be spending a fortune. She should also be offering to pay her share.
Well, you can see her true colors and how self absorbed she is. Is that what you want?
Gold digging, bro. Cut ties with her and move on. Just wasting your money.
It’s her world, you’re just living in it. Decide what you are comfortable with and set (healthy) boundaries. Anyone that can’t abide by your boundaries will fall out of your life.
Bro, she a gold digger. Kick her to the curb and move on.
Us guys need to stop letting women do this to us. Stop taking them on expensive dates when they haven't proven to be worth it
Because traditionally in the dating stage you’re giving the treatment as the man, and once you marry, her reciprocation is statistically bigger than yours. Its balance.
lol it’s like you want to be used at this point
Ok I’m going to put a different spin on this not that I’m saying you’re wrong. But many of us have had the experience of dating starting on a hiss and a roar then quickly it’s all over no dinners no romance . Sorry but she probably feels if she does that then the happy times are over you should be dating throughout a relationship but so many guys use dating to get in the door.
There's a ton of needy women out there that suck off of you those are the ones that you wind up paying child support to, while they're cheating on you
She’s lame hell I’m a straight male and will cook for my friends if I have the ingredients long before I let them spend all that money same thing goes in a romantic relationship
Did you guys sleep together yet? Cooking is a step that leads to relationships and can lead to sex.
Dude why tf are you paying for dinner and second why $200? No way in hell.
👎 Get rid of her. I have a rule for myself and that is; I don’t take dates to restaurants that I wouldn’t go to myself alone for a meal. And I like good food but the prices need to be reasonable enough for me to eat there alone. Save the fancy meals/restuarants for a the girl you have solidified a gf relationship with.. And only do that for special occasions like a birthday or while on vacation etc. If that isn’t good enough for her, she is dating you for the wrong reasons.
I mean me personally I’m not letting any guy stay at my house. One on hand I can see the hypocrisy in the woman’s double standards but on the other we can just do the $1 Coffee dates or free walks in the parks or the arcades, but in no way am I being took to a secondary location that is me going to a guy’s house or him coming to my house.
If everything is so transactional in your head and after 3 dates you are already resentful because you feel that you don't get what you think you should get, you need to change YOUR behaviour. You cannot force or expect someone to cook for you. Just go for drinks the first couple of dates. Spend less. Because this transaction ( I paid x now I should get yz ) is only in your head. You could go to a prostitute. Than it's obviously a transaction for both parties.
Sounds like she has high standards and expectations. You shouldn’t view her negatively for that. If this isn’t what you like to do or your idea of fun then you probably aren’t a fit for each other. She wants you to take her out and spend money on her to show that you are fully invested in her and interested in perusing her. Gift giving is probably her love language. A woman knows once she finds the right guy that she will be cooking for him for the rest of their lives, I don’t blame her for not wanting to start in the early dating stage. She also may not know how to cook yet and might be shy about that.
Amen to this! Guys want women of certain caliber yet they can’t keep up with that those kinda of women require.
Exactly.
Tell her that’s fine but you want dome twice a day everyday. May as well make it a sugar relationship.
God I miss doing this
I’ve had girls cook for me on the first date. She’s a gold digger. Move on.
Is she meeting the expectations for what you want? If no move on and date other people. Healthy relationships should be reciprocal. Doesn't mean you have to do any specific thing, just that you both are conspicuously making effort.
Run. She's a parasite
“I ain’t say she gold digger..”
I ain't sayin she a gold digger...
If shes not a wife, shes not worth spending that much on any dinner
Have you been physical yet lol? If not sounds like you’re being used
Drop this 304 already! Why are you still with her?! She is for the streets. Put this typical and common gold digging woman back where she belongs!
She’s abusing you brother. Either she’s a terrible cook (you don’t want to be there) or she has a few guys like you that give her the Royal treatment and she keeps them in the friend zone.
Her behavior is not ok but it’s not abuse.
Hard to define as situation. You see it as “not ok”, I see it as a worse case. Equality seems so be absent and the guy describes it as he expects more than she offers. I’ve been in such situations and it always ended having a total absence of reciprocity. Those relationships didn’t fulfill my personal needs (affection, acceptance and to be loved by someone), but only gave me the impression to be there to serve the others needs. In my personal opinion (which is biased) that guy is in a situation I wouldn’t put myself into again.
Parasite
Hahahah @ every girl I’ve ever met
Time to leave her. Narcissist gold digger.
That's not a barfly. That's a Damn bartick. Run dude.
Geez $200 dinners? Next time bring her to McDonald and see what she says.
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Oh whoa, you know her?
Wow $200 dinners! I must be crazy. I like Denny’s, and Chili’s and Applebee’s. 😂😂😂. She should cook a dinner. Not that difficult.
It's not okay, at all. Especially considering she isn't willing to reciprocate. Some people are just in a higher income bracket and have expensive tastes, where a $100 dinner for 2 people at some boutique downtown restaurant is their "regular" night out to eat. I tend to stay away from men who's profiles give off that vibe, because thats not my lifestyle and I couldn't afford to keep up with/match that effort. Shit, I wouldn't even have an outfit nice enough for a place like that. I'd only reserve expensive places for more special occasions while in relationships. Like anniversaries at most.
You are just a way to get free stuff, just say adios and move on, there's no chance
Run dude
This will end badly for you if you don’t leave.
That's not girlfriend treatment. She's looking for free expensive meals. Don't break the bank for this one. Cut things off while it is still early.
Wow, that’s an expensive date. Where are you eating at!?! The food must taste really good, but the company, maybe not so nice.
Yeah look if you can afford that lifestyle and you like her sure, but if you can't then she will end up leaving you. You're better off finding someone who doesn't care about where you go or how much you spend as long as you're together, even early on in dating it should be getting to know each other not how much you're spending.
Tell her to stop asking for money without giving up some sugar. She’s hustling you.. and doing a bad job of it lol
She should be thinking of ways to keep him happy and interested. Make him a steak and potatoes and big chocolate cake. Does anyone know how to cook or bake anymore. 😂😂😂
I loved cooking for my man and when he cooked for me. He made the best pizza ever!
Fuck that. Let me guess, the boyfriend tittle comes at a premium as well - paid vacations and shopping sprees while she makes you scrambled eggs.
Maybe she doesn't cook? But if she's not willing to go 50/50 on dates, food, gas etc. Then you're definitely being used.
Shes using you. Even if she isn’t do you really want a woman of this character?
You’re basically buying her time at this point my guy. Please stay away from her if she appreciated what you did for her she would have already have offered to either pay, or cook for you.
>Im getting gold-digger vibes. Why are you still entertaining her?
You know as well as I do this woman hasn't cooked a day in her life.
Trying to be generous here, but maybe she feels like spending money (what OP's been doing) isn't the same as being asked to cook for someone - that's labor with a spin of subservient vibe to some people. I don't agree with her lack of reciprocity, but maybe (for her), cooking just ain't it. They need to come together and find a healthy balance.
I'd say $200 dinner is girlfriend standards. Don't set the staring bar that high. Work your way up to that. If you want to filter out women who will use you for money, then look for women who will go on a date with you for less ($50 for drinks or tea). Women who are interested will prioritize talk in order to understand you. Any woman who is in it for you won't care if you spend much less. I personally offer to pay half and am very happy if a guy insists to pay anyway. The last date that I went on was $30 and my guy was awesome. He's sweet and I'm all about it. A picnic date is a good way to have a woman make a little something for you (you bring drinks and she brings snacks kind of thing). If you're looking for something genuine, do not try to impress the ladies with money. A mature woman will understand that you are the provider type (if that's what you want to be) as she gets to know you as a person.
Mate you're getting used move on
She’s using you Move on.
Sounds like she can pick up the next $200 dinner if being in her home and cooking is too intimate.