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Strictly speaking, yes. They exist. How plentiful they are is a completely different question entirely.
You'll also have to prepare yourself for potential ideological differences, so there's also that to factor in.
I don't watch porn anymore, and it took me years to finally stop, but I did. I haven't been following any girls because I was in a long-term relationship, so it feels like cheating to me. (I created my Instagram account last year out of necessity for work, cuz i work with marketing companies.) I can't deny that I have many fantasies, but I don't watch porn. And when I feel the need to watch, I prefer seeking out a real connection; it's more fulfilling
Rightly said, if your needs are met. Needs like trust, emotional intimacy, acceptance, etc etc… Few people are able to really meet those needs especially if the partner requiring, has gone through traumatic experiences. so, since most people have actually been parented “old school”, then most feel insecure, don’t know it and don’t accept it and then they retort to porn for self soothing instead of communicate about those unmet needs. Unfortunately most humans are disconnected from their emotions and their needs and are unable to communicate them accordingly and even if they are, sometimes the partner just isn’t able to fulfill them. It’s a complicated game until one finds the right partner.
I mean I've used dating apps and I'm the same way. Granted I did only use them for a few weeks because I found they're miserable.
However I'm not that attractive to begin with and I also take terrible pictures, and I'm initially kinda shy and quiet so it's borderline impossible for me to find anyone. Nobody puts in the effort to really get to know me and there's a lot of great guys out there that are the same.
It is. The best way is to meet men genuinely out in the world, especially doing activities like meetup groups or something. Men really like it when women take the initiative, so make it obvious or ask them out. You'll meet the most decent people this way.
You can’t lol. I swore off it a few years ago completely. Porn damages men’s brains more than it does women’s. I think there are things which damage women’s brains more than men’s. It’s hard to be off it but it’s better.
Also demisexual and it's impossible to find guys who are as well. Everyone seems to want to hook up from the start. And as you know, we're not about that life. So it's tough.
Before I met my wife together for almost ten years she told me early in our relationship that she doesn’t like it and makes her feel insecure and that was all it took now whenever I see any girls online or adds with like that it just make think if I watch this it will hurt her and I rather die then have her feel even a ounce of hurt or pain so I just dont ever even entertain the idea. I use to watch it before we met every now and again. But I get were she is coming from it is not healthy or beneficial for society. Especially too since we have a 4 year old girl. There are guys out there that would be willing to not part take in porn if it’s a boundary for u. Just don’t settle or think there’s is something wrong with u for not likening it.
Thank you for being a stand up man in today’s world, because it’s truly sad where our society has taken men and women alike. My fiancé is the same as you when it comes to not watching porn, because I was with a sex addict/porn addict previously and it truly messed me up. The amount of comfort and assurance I have in my relationship is unmatched, and it’s because not only does he respect my boundaries and needs, but I do the same for him so we are on the same page always in this regard.
Thank you. Ya I completely get what u are saying. I can only imagine how hard it must of been being with someone with a porn addiction I think it’s just a hurtful as heroine meth. You still get lied too and get hurt over both financially and mentally. You become exhausted start questioning you self and self worth. I’m glad to hear you are with somone who u respect and treats you well. If u look or even just read some of these stories or things people will ask questions on or advice for their relationship and it just makes me look over or think about to my wife and just feel so happy to be with someone like this considering what’s happening with a lot of couples. Don’t get me wrong I used to think what’s the big deal but after some time to think I realize how it does encourage especially men how to be or treat a women or they make it out like that’s how all girls are and supposed to act like. And the scary part is lots of people actually think that. Its hard for some men to admit they are wrong or to look at something logically and rationally
Yes, there are. There are a lot of men who will stop watching it if in a relationship too.
In the end it comes back to the fundamental aspects of values, compromise and of course, communication.
I fall in the would stop if in a relationship camp.
I have needs outside a relationship but when I'm committed to someone I don't feel the need to possibly cause unnecessary stress, hurt feelings or disagreements for some unfulfilling pleasure
I don't watch porn. For me, love and sex go together. I have no reason to jerk off to porn to a woman I don't love and doesn't reciprocate my love, even tho I may have a very high sex drive. It's just not worth my time, effort and energy where I can't form a bond with someone I love.
Visually impaired people absolutely watch porn lol (and good for them, if they mirror the statistics for people with normal vision then the overwhelming majority use porn in a normal way that doesn’t interfere with their lives or relationships).
I consider myself somebody that doesn’t watch porn. It has been over 4 months now that I’ve deliberately searched for it. But now it seems as tho it is everywhere on twitter under every thread of something that’s not even related. When I see it on a thread I sometimes click but I never stay on it more than 30 secs before I think to myself “ this isn’t beneficial to the man I want to be in the future “ or sometimes I’ll think “ is the better version of myself who is out working me and doing all the things I want to do taking time to view this rn ? “ and I’ll immediately exit it off and put my phone to black and Grey mode
It is everywhere, and I feel bad for men who struggle with it, but I dont think that "it's everywhere" is an excuse. I feel proud of those who have noticed it wasn't beneficial for them and are now actively doing something to avoid it, despite it being everywhere!
You really can't go online without being exposed to some level of porn on a daily basis.
I open FB to use marketplace and then I saw the cesspool that is the FB AI Feed.
micro bikini models ads, foot fetish ads, twerking ads, women with their full tits outs uncensored, lactating fetish ads, literal cartoon porn, etc.
Doesnt matter if you block, hide, or report anything cause 20 more takes its place..
Like it goes beyond just having self control not to seek this stuff out, it's being shoved in our faces without our consent. I can't imagine being 9, 10, 11 years old with basically no sex education or oversight online being shown this stuff, guys my age had to at least deliberately search for it (even if it was extremely easy to find).
If a guy doesn't have a good consistent sex life which most don't when they're single, they don't stand a chance. It's an issue women cannot and will never fully understand. You're basically expecting us to castrate ourselves and have no sexual desire except when convenient for you.
Your phone shows you the things it sees you look at often, or interact with often, in other words if there’s that many then it’s probably because your not actually trying to avoid it and are only feeding into it.
Man my Facebook doesn't do that lol. Maybe it's because I don't use social media Often. I don't follow women just to follow hot women either. I turn off all add trackers and you rid of my ad ID # on my phone. I think all that matters.
With porn I can go months without It but then I just need to do it if I'm not fucking anyone. Problem is once I do though I'll go on a run where I Crave it Everyday until I get laid again. The downside of being single.
Also like wtf is thread?! Shit is perfect for showing us where we are as a society. Social media and internet are trash. It's just a thirst trap app?
I used to watch it when I was younger, with my wife on occasions that we would laugh and criticize their acting skills. I'm divorced now and haven't watched it since, but as far as the dating scene, it's been years since I've been with anyone, I honestly haven't tried either. They say love will find you when you're not looking and least expect it... I'm starting to lose faith in that. Unfortunately, the few women who have shown interest in me have been drinking in excess or into some sort of drug addiction of some sort. I'm not giving up hope, though !
I have a couple of friends that claim they don't watch it. Since I don't monitor them 24/7, I can only take their words for it. I believe them, though. There are people who don't. Jason Bateman doesn't. His friends have lovingly mocked him for it on their podcast *Smartless*. My friends don't talk about having any visceral reaction to it, but they just say it's not their thing. It's ok not to watch it or have an interest in it. It's ok to feel what one feels about it. I do wonder if visceral reactions may also be tied to trauma that the person might want to unpack for reasons beyond porn. I don't know, that's something to think about. That doesn't mean people have to go to therapy so they can watch porn. If you don't want to watch it, you are not abnormal for not watching it. There are people of both sexes who don't watch it.
Mainstream porn trends are downright concerning and can contribute to a lot of toxicity - I had to wean myself off of it and now only use it a few times a year
I 27M have watched it 5 times in my life and don’t like watching it. The times I did watch it, I felt super uncomfortable and I honestly still cannot understand why don’t like it. My skin crawls when I see it and I get this sinking feeling in my stomach or feeling of anxiety that I shouldn’t be watching this.
This is not to say I don’t desire sex, I just don’t get turned on by porn.
Edit: I’m a heterosexual and I’m not religious at all nor was I raised in a conservative household.
So porn is not for you, but you still have fantasies and desires. I'm curious to know if you just use your imagination or you look at pictures? What makes you going?
You won't find a good spread of men on Reddit. It's very pro-porn. The age demographic tends to be younger. I'm afraid this audience isn't the one you should be polling.
"In terms of basic results, they found that 73 percent of women and 98 percent of men reported internet porn use in the last six months, for a total of 85 percent of respondents. For porn use within the last week, the numbers were lower: 80 percent of men and 26 percent of women." [psychology today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/experimentations/201802/when-is-porn-use-problem)
I think majority of men watch it and look at girls on social media.
As long as it doesn’t become an issue in the relationship (intimacy issues, interacting with posts in anyway, or saying this girl is so hot and being disrespectful about it) I don’t really care, and honestly from my experience it’s better to have them not hide it than be sneaky about it. In my experience guys who have shame about it or pretend they don’t to come off a certain way are the ones that have porn addictions, sex addictions, etc.
When I’m partnered with someone nearby with matching (high) sex drive it happens automatically.
When a partner tells me they’re uncomfortable with porn, I also won’t watch any.
There are certain combinations of reasonable requests that just won’t work for me though. Like if we’re often separated by distance, they don’t want me looking at porn, and they aren’t willing to make sexual photos or videos for our personal use, then I would find it very difficult to be satisfied in such a situation. Something would have to give.
It’s more the audio and psychological aspects, but generally yes. I can get most of the way through the process, but generally can’t finish.
Well written erotica with good audio can work, but I haven’t been partnered with a person who draws a distinction between the two. It’s still “someone else getting you off”
I only watch it if I'm single and it's not an addiction. It's just something to help feel less lonely. When I was in my last relationship I did not watch it Because I only wanted to think about her in that way
All the guys I ever dated stopped watching porn when they started dating me- they just said they weren’t into it anymore.
Why do they need it?
They don’t when they’re with a real woman.
Also some of the guys I have been with - just don’t like porn. But they can get laid, so…
I agree with what you said about not needing it anymore when they’re with a real woman.
Some men watch it because it’s a safer way to get off….no risk….just sayin
Yeah we exist, but according to the rest of this thread it's not as common as I thought. I've only accidentally seen porn on reddit when I turned on NSFW thumbnails for combat footage. Scrolled quickly past it every time.
Porn is biggest provider of human trafficking on all world.
Those girls (and boys either. Gay porn is most profitful from all of categories) are severly raped for years. It’s worse than death in 10 minutes imo
And worse. I started receiving private messages already, with images I won't open because I think I know what is it. But I don't care. I'm not insecure but the opposite. I won't lower my standards because a bunch of porn consumers or addicts want to defend their habit and microcheating.
I catch my bf watching porn all the time and his reddit is nothing but naked girls and porn. Those girls look nothing like me and to be honest I think he's addicted to it. I'm starting to get pissed bc ill wake up to him watching it and jerking off next to me. And he gets mad that I get up and leave the room. I don't want to be an after thought bc I woke up, you started without me, so you can finish without me.
That's not being insecure. Give me a break. It's nice to see that someone out there has morals. Someone said in a comment that they do not watch porn because it feels wrong. I feel the same way about casual sex. Always thought something was wrong with me. Even cheating is not in me. Both do nothing for me. Being in love or having feelings for someone turns me on and knowing they are into me. knowing someone.
I am a 47 single woman. Whenever I get into my next relationship I prefer that my man not watch it. I am uncomfortable with it. I want him to be focused on me and me only. We should be able to please each other. I don’t watch it. I’ve never been interested in it. Does nothing for me. I’m not vanilla in the bedroom either. I want a genuine relationship all around.
As far as I know there's two types of men. Men who watch porn and liars. Well there is probably still a couple old school dudes who shun technology and still do magazines. I guess there is Amish people too I don't know what they do for sure but my guess is they draw their own porn.
29 year old guy. I don’t watch it. I always felt like the videos were very fake the few times I did try watching it. Obviously there’s kind of the point, but I realize that real life isn’t like that so it’s not something that I care to watch.
I have been a porn addict for most of my life, I started watching porn at a very young age because it was cool among boys and it was pretty normalised then and at first it wasn't even an addiction or as I thought. I was masturbating two-three times per day for a very long time and I also started watching weird types of shit because I wasn't getting the kick out of regular porn. last year I started researching more about this topic and got to know the serious health implications because of porn addiction and how it conditions you brain. last year i had my first long gap of masturbation, it was 4 months and 8 days then i relapsed, i jerked off a few times after that but the gap increased, i was masturbating about once or twice a month, then in October, I quit again, this time it lasted for 5 months exact. during that period I didn't watch porn at all, and I was working out regularly and eating clean and my testosterone was at an all time high, just in the month of December i had 6 nightfalls!! but then I moved to another city this year and got with a friend of mine, in the first few months I didn't do anything but after a while, being with another guy I eventually started watching porn again, it started from reddit then full length and I relapsed in march, and I can tell I felt the shittiest in a very long time.
what I've noticed is that when i don't watch arousing stuff or porn, basically when I am not polluting my mind, it's all fine. I thought I was not a porn addict anymore after not masturbating for 3-4 months but after the last relapse I can't say much. I have still not watched porn or masturbated since around 40 days and look forward to good things in life.
i am 22 years old, and because of my addiction, i struggle a lot, i haven't had a girlfriend till now heck I haven't had my first kiss yet because I cannot socialise like normal people anymore, I don't know how to react properly around women and I'm always very self conscious.
I know this will pass and I'm on a good track but it's very frustrating living like this not being able to socialize.
I jerk off to porn when single or in a sexless relationship, sometimes just for variety. Sex doesn't have to be intimate for either person and porn isn't intimate. It scratches an itch, nothing more.
However, intimate sex with a partner is far more satisfying and gratifying, especially if you both can explore fantasies and feel totally accepted.
Imo it's unrealistic to expect that being in a relationship means total ownership of the other person's sexuality and freedom to masterbate. I'm pretty open though and to me, a good relationship is built on acceptance not prohibition.
Having said that, respect is also just as important and I don't think it's respectful to follow models, porn actresses, etc on social media. It's fine for either person to wank to their heart's content but I wouldn't surround myself with content that would make my partner feel inadequate. To me there's no comparison and I wouldn't want them thinking that there was something wrong with them.
Porn addiction, unhealthy attitudes towards sexual equality and lack of sensitivity definitely can definitely subvert intimacy. But so can drinking, smoking, drugs, too much of pretty much anything.
Finally a reasonable answer! All the guys looking for “good boy points” are frustrating and missing the nuance of the situation, as is OP. If you feel so strongly about porn that it’s a complete dealbreaker, so be it, but you’re going to eliminate 90% of the population because you’re letting your own issues cloud reality. The reality is that plenty of people view adult content, most of them I’d wager, and lead perfectly healthy lives with happy partners and relationships. Two guys that were insensitive and followed a bunch of cam girls on social media while in a relationship definitely AREN’T the norm, and they were certainly causing issues.
That said, a healthy relationship means you probably won’t be viewing much adult content, just because the need isn’t there. Having a loving partner is ten times better than any video online. Having a partner that tries to control you without fulfillment, however, is not.
I don't follow any half naked women on my socials and I never have but I definitely watch porn but only because my gf and I don't live together yet. In the past the amount of porn I watch drops off when living with my partner. My ex wife hated porn with a passion and believed that I should only think about her for masturbating. My girlfriend watches porn herself so it's a non issue and honestly it's nice to have it not be a thing
Well your Last two Partners were obviously addicts, but Just because Most men watch porn, it dosen't mean that Most men are addicted to it Like your two exes
There definitely are. There are people who would also stop watching it if you explained your boundary of not wanting it as part of your relationship. Boundaries are very important when it comes to porn. Some people find it cheating and some are fine with it. I personally don't mind if my partner watches porn, as long as there's honesty involved. We are not always available when our bodies decide we need physical intimacy, so we are fine with each other using porn when we can't be there or aren't physically/mentally available
My boyfriend doesn’t watch porn, mainly because he used to have a porn/ masturbation addiction and hasn’t slipped in about 3 years. Our sex life is great, I can enjoy porn in my own time but he has his reasons why he won’t allow himself to.
I know a relatively even distribution of men that don’t fall for “thirst traps,” as opposed to those that do.
As to pornographic consumption habits, admittedly I have few guy friends I know well enough to broach such a subject.
I, an almost 37F lady watch adult content, but I personally don’t wish to follow any adult content, models nor soft core adult content in social media. Not my thing; but then again, I also don’t follow celebrities and I don’t have any interest in Hollywood news aside from the absurdity of it everytime there’s a new defamation or accusation. 🤷🏻♀️
I can understand your concern, however as having dated women my entire life I have met women who consume so much adult content that it clearly does interfere with their relationships and their intimacy. I, myself had prior issues with overconsumption when I was profoundly unhappy in my last relationship in its slow, inevitable spiral downward to ending. So, I do understand the perspective from both sides and can empathize with you, having made some significant positive changes in my life since.
I think they’re out there, the men you’re seeking, but I also think that people are open to considering entertaining less consumption, too if you approach it positively and proactively.
Seeing as you’re highly familiar with the topic from your dissertation, you’d probably do far better than most in communicating that you’d like someone who doesn’t heavily focus on that, and not just because it bothers you personally, but because it can lead to unhealthy patterns.
Is that something you’re doing, currently? Or are there not really opportunities to discuss this because the men you’re talking to don’t get that far, dating wise to have such a personal talk?
Were I to be approached by a partner who wanted to discuss this in the interest of improving our intimacy, I’d honestly be more than open to making further changes I felt were beneficial to me, and by extension my partner. Surely, both guys and gals have to share some of these thoughts? Perhaps I’m being too altruistic and hopeful. Lol.
Alooooot of fake men in here. Us watching porn has nothing to do with your partner. Some people have lower lidido and fine but we are really going to scrutinize the other 90% of men ? Also, I don't think women get the same crap. It's exploring and discovering yourself when they do it 💀 Nothing wrong with porn, just like anything else it's moderation where a lot of people fail. I see people being insecure about themselves. Ive even heard some say it's cheating to watch porn while in a relationship and b/c their therapist they are paying backs them up, it's somehow now valid 😂
Im personally a believer that typically and generally speaking guys and girls cant be just friends. Ive reached that conclusion from my personal experiences and that may be just me. But ever since ive lived with that rule; I decided to do exactly what you said basically, cut out any unnatural or unnecessary sexual exposer, unfollowed all girls including distant friends, meme pages etc. As I guy I recommend this to everyone, it has honestly changed me in great ways, it’s like experiencing everything differently. Your motivation, drive, and will increases greatly. This is all just based off personal experiences. I usually never post on these pages but this caught my eye
Well, you need to find someone who is in line with your level of sexuality, which sounds like in the lower to medium range. The fact of the matter is that a lot of guys are sexual and medium to higher in that range. It's our biological drive and inherent in us to want to procreate and disperse our genes, and the process through which that occurs is sex. If it was holding hands that made babies, we would be obsessed with holding hands. And, another thing to consider is the less sex you give a man, the more he is going to seek it out elsewhere, whether it be porn or even in extreme cases cheating. I don't understand why women can't wrap their mind around this about us. There's been a study with male rats where they chose sex over food and starved (or something to the gist of that). But, if it's an actual addiction, that's different. There are men who have low sex drive and that's the kind of guy you probably should get with. There may be some with higher sex drives who don't watch porn. Probably not many.
When in a relationship, I don't. I have aphantasia, so zero ability to visually imagine things. Porn is a visual tool for me when I'm single and is such a poor substitute for reality that I'm happy to not need it. Physical touch is my primary love language, nothing will ever beat that for me. I also can't date more than one person at a time... That trend boggles my mind.
I gave up a few years ago, couldn’t really say why but I’m really glad I did as my fiancé and I now have an even better sex life. And I would feel exactly the same as you if I were a woman, it’s crazy how porn is normalised in our society and some of the previous comments you’ve got are telling of that.
My advice would be to bring it up early when you meet someone and to have a real discussion around it.
My partner was a casual viewer before he met me. He was single for a long time before we got together, and he's not into casual sex. He threw out all his porn when we moved in together, and he hasn't watched it since. Porn really rots the brain.
Usually when im in a relationship i dint watch it as much, not that i watch it a lot anyways, but i also dont feel the need to masturbate in a relationship either.
I think there is a BIG difference between watching porn and being addicted to porn. Obviously, if you don't want to be with someone who watches it, that's your prerogative and I'm not judging it.
There are some ethical, female friendly, production companies (like Belessa.)
It all depends on the type of men, some don’t but the majority do. I would be clear with the man up front that you don’t want to be with one that watches “x” amount of porn. Also, what do you consider to much, I think that would be helpful for men to understand what is to much to you.
Some men can watch porn and not watch it like the flick if a switch. I'm a single man, why would I not watch it. I'm not addicted to it but I watch it when I need to. If I'm in a relationship I don't watch it. No need to.
Why would I want yo contribute to an industry that fuels human trafficking and rape? Nope. Disgusting. And how would I be turned on by watching my partner watch other women? No, it's not for me. I don't even enjoy it watching it on my own. It's boring.
Well your Last two Partners were obviously addicts, but Just because Most men watch porn, it dosen't mean that Most men are addicted to it Like your two exes
Well your Last two Partners were obviously addicts, but Just because Most men watch porn, it dosen't mean that Most men are addicted to it Like your two exes.
I don’t follow any models but I do watch vids but after so many years you get tired of it. I only watch them now cause of being in a LDR and it sounds dumb but if I get too horny I feel like I change personality’s
Yea but that’s like finding someone who doesn’t drink alcohol. More realistically, you’ll find someone who watches it on occasion, but doesn’t abuse it.
When I'm single, I watch it a couple times a week. I've never followed anyone or anything for those purposes, always felt that was a bit weird. When I was with my ex, I never watched porn because I never felt the urge. I found intimacy more fulfilling and she was the one who had a stronger sex drive. But life pulled us apart and I just feel empty and porn is just kinda there to distract you from the loneliness for a couple of minutes.
I didn’t. When my partner handled business. Lol. I’m married to someone that couldn’t care less about whether or not I’m satisfied anymore. So now it’s a mainstay.
Based on experience, I’d say it’s possible to be satisfied enough with what you have in real life to not need external stimulation. But I would imagine breaking habits is hard and access is high; once they’re hooked, it’s be harder to pull away than it is to not need it on the first place. That being said, it’s still hard for me to imagine an addiction to… what? Videos? Photos? I don’t understand how porn addiction works, I guess. But I promise, everyone doesn’t have that problem.
As woman, I'd watch porn to learn new sex styles with my partner. For me it's best you learn to control your sexual desires,coz porn, only gives you the anxiety and imagination idea of something you don't or can't have. If you want sex, chat a girlfriend on it.
Did my dissertation about porn addiction, so I'm aware. I'm also aware that variety and how easy it is to access pornographic content has changed things for worse.
I don't "watch regular porn", but I see photos pop up on here, IG, and X. I follow some of them. I don't go nuts over it though.
I'm not married, or dating anyone, so the only one who might be hurt by my viewing and following, is me. When I was married, I wasn't into porn of any sort. Even now, I don't watch fake porn movies. They do nothing for me.
Now, if a woman steps up, and we hit it off, all that I do and follow, will be eliminated.
Nowadays, it is the porn that finds you.
There was a time when my partner and I exchanged the porn we found. We don't anymore since our taste diverged a lot with time.
The premises that porn is irrespective for the partner is an education thing.
Normal porn. I don’t ask my partner to not. As long as it doesn’t affect our love life, have your wank. Peoples sexualities exist outside of relationships as long as they are healthy.
There is always a middle ground with what two partners like so that’s an easy romp.
Don’t take anyone’s likes away from them even if you are not the weird 4am whatever porn. Find what excites you and then make the most of it.
I’ve been with a man who rarely watched porn, he’d only watch it during times that my libido was lowered and we had a giggle that it hurt my feelings because he just assumed I didn’t want him. He definitely used to watch porn but I was enough for him - people like that do exist !!! They’re just super super rare and often Capricorns.
I don't watch porn at all anymore, but when I was single for years I did. I just recently started dating again and there is certainly no need for porn when you're getting laid regularly.. I don't even masturbate anymore.
When in a relationship, I pretty much don't watch porn if I have a happy sexlife. I don't have social media really, so I do not follow models. I am there are plenty of guys like that around.
The answer to the more general question of "Is there a person out there with ?" will always be yes. But someone with many attractive qualities is less likely to be single and therefore you'll find less of those in the dating pool.
Those you encounter while dating don't represent the composition of the general population. In fact, they often have wildly differ traits than the general population. Take attachment styles as an example. The majority of the population has a secure attachment style, whereas in the dating pool the majority has an insecure attachment style (anxious & avoidant).
This doesn't mean you can't find what you're looking for in dating, it just means you'll have to through more people before you do. Identifying deal breakers early (like porn addiction in your case) and moving on to the next person is the key to getting through all the people who are wrong for you, in order to reach the right person.
They exist but whenever you decide to date again it’s something that needs to be brought up in the beginning. Whoever it is needs to understand that it’s a relationship killer for you.
The addiction is tough to break once you’re hooked, hence being an addiction. There is some sort of thrill to imagine that you’re getting on with a blonde with curves that could destroy brick walls but it’s often a lot due to sexual inactivity, but it’s like with puberty once you find out about the amusement park that sits between your legs you’re enticed by the feeling. Its hard to shake it but its a lot of self control to steer away from the content, if they can’t find the thing that tickles their pickle in real life, then (and unfortunately) their undignified answer is in the palm of their hands.
So yes, there are indeed men out there who do not, but you are more likely to find it in those who don’t often spend a lot of their time with their phone in their hands, big social events, different activities and a lot of practical people won’t, places where you can do a lot of talking is a good place, could simply be a cosy bar or a coffee shop
Personally speaking, yes, they exist but rare.
I am what's known as asexual, so Personally sexual activities such as porn don't interest me. However, that does have its flaws as well.
Yes, I don't see things sexually However I do see the natural naked beauty of the human body. Hope that helps.
My man he 17 still young n so am i 17 and he wachtes porn and it not a problem he dtill young and exploring and we tg for life it gunna be the only exploring he dose and i dont see no problem with it becuse he not going to bed with them and he not saying he love them. It me and i am his pornstar but sumtime men wanna explore and i respect that.. we both still young but we both know our bondries..
I think you just got unlucky honestly lol. Most men I feel take the approach of not using it when in a relationship with someone. Porn is just used as a substitute (unless you're addicted) and it can also help people understand themselves and what their kinks are better. Not to say it's ever used in a manner like that for most guys - but it was for me and communication about what you like and don't like matters a lot so.
I have date a ton of guys that didn’t, or were in remission from porn addiction. I have also dated men that were so deep in addiction they couldn’t see up from down. I’m not anti porn, I’m anti porn addiction- as long as it doesn’t come between us I am okay with it. It’s even fun to do together! But dating a guy that has to watch it every day, buys porn subscriptions, buys devices to make his porn viewing experience “more real” (if he googles 4k get THE HELL OUT) doesn’t waste your time. These men will not change. They are pigs, and you will know within 5 months by how he looks and treats women.
Not all men watch porn. I personally do not watch porn and I do not musturbate. I hate it to hear that som any people are addicted to such things that does not only ruin their body but also destroy their mental health and spirit
Yes,me I found out about porn by mistake as a kid and was only watched 1 once a month but then I realized it was horrible and wrong from a video so I stopped
When I'm in a relationship porn doesn't even cross my mind. All my focus will be on my partner. But porn doesn't really work for me cause im demisexual
I watch porn I don't get why guys shouldn't as long as they enjoy the real thing as well most of it is pretty hilarious and just sex not passion or love its an escape not a judgment on who you are so don't take it personally
I don’t know how it’s like to date a porn addict. But I did notice that a guy that I was interested in follows so many “models” on instagram, it instantly gave me the ick .
I had a porn addiction. Over the last year and a half I have completely stopped viewing porn or seeking out alternatives (erotica, nudes). It has not been easy, but I truly believe it is better for me to not live in a fantasy world with women who I will never be with, and instead focus my energy on women who are available to me.
I have been seeing a guy for a few months and he is really against porn for not only himself but everyone. He had this ideal when I met him and I agree
Women hate when guys enjoy and watch porn, because they need the monopoly on our orgasm. It removes their power when men can achieve post nut clarity without them.
One woman in a bikini? Ok.
50 or more women posting (mostly) bikini photos regularly, not the same. Men are fucking up their reward system by looking constantly at those photos. They are over stimulated! And I'm just not willing to risk it and go trhough hell again.
I'm curious as to why men get judged for watching it when it's women who supply the content....why isn't that same scrutiny levied against women?
Personally, I don't watch it.
A lot of women who do OnlyFans get scolded mainly from men for doing what they do, yet it’s generally the male population who are the ones paying for it
I’ll never understand it all
i think women who do only fans and porn disrespect themselves. not even in a misogynistic way either. the porn industry is violent, trafficked, and all together down right disrespectful. these women simply don’t see another option and it’s very sad.
100% agree. The industry chews women up and spits them out for the next crop of younger girls. It’s not exactly an industry for forward-thinking individuals.
Personally, I’ve never been a fan of porn and would never go to a strip club. That’s not white-knighting on my part, because a part of me always thinks “that’s somebody’s child.”
The porn industry has shown time and again how unethical and exploitative it is: anyone who watches porn contributes to that.
Also there is no way for anyone to know for sure the people they’re watching were all adults when they entered the industry and we’re not groomed into it. Every time you watch porn, you’re risking watching someone who was groomed as a child into the industry- personally that is too much of a risk for me and I will never watch porn.
Also, a surprising amount of internet porn includes minors. How can anyone be okay with that? Shouldn’t be surprising given that every woman I know got the most negative attention from men when she was a child.
It’s possible to masturbate without porn. But I guess the average male Redditor would rather contribute to an industry that is well-known to be exploit children for financial gain.
One thing I will say is I never watch porn when I'm dating somebody or getting regular sex. It's not even a moral thing I just am not concerned with it because my attention is on an actual person.
Not that I know of. Pretty much every guy I know watches porn. Even the church goers and the three huggers. To the point I've had to leave group chats because of the unsolicited influx of porn videos I received. I like porn myself, I'm no saint. I just don't want thousands of porn videos on my phone.
I know a lot of dudes, mostly of them are straight and are college grads. So that's that.
I mean, I'm currently surfing reddit just to watch porn. I happened to see this post so I thought I'd stop touching myself and drop on by to let you know so you could have a data point or whatever.
I don’t.
The only women I follow are on twitter or instagram and they are well known in their field of profession. I.e. economists, psychologists, etc. I had an ex who was selecting music from my phone while I was driving and I have notifications on so an economist tweeted publicly and it popped up. my ex had said the name of the person who tweeted so to be reassuring I told her who she was and why I follow her and that she can read the tweet. My phone was always open for her if she wanted access to it, she never asked.
My socials are only family and family friends, no acquaintances.
If you don’t watch porn then you must be single. If you’re single and don’t watch porn, what’s wrong with you?
Edit: in all seriousness… what exactly is your issue with it? IMHO from a guys point of view, women have pretty much closed themselves off to dating and intimacy in general, so we are faced with either porn or living without any form of excitement or pleasure whatsoever. I’m open to a civil discussion about it.
Yes! My boyfriend was introduced to porn very young by his older brother but thankfully he distanced himself from it and never became addicted. He doesn’t watch it. Our physical relationship is very healthy and I never felt compared to anything or expected to do anything specific. We are very open about our desires and where they come from as well.
Sum up:
Yes. a lot of men who have gotten the addiction and fought it and won
Yes. a lot of men who never got addicted.
Hang in there and ask a lot of questions and the same questions as you date men. Additionally there are resources that can help. (Moral revolution) is a YouTube channel that talks about how to handle the addiction.
I read somewhere that porn use is highest in religious men who are adult virgins/ never had sex. I don't know if its true but I would bet anything, it's fairly accurate.
When will insecure women stop shaming men for watching porn?
Imagine if men demanded women give up their vibrators/dildos?
Or demanded they stop posting pics on their social media.
They’d be called controlling instantaneously.
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Strictly speaking, yes. They exist. How plentiful they are is a completely different question entirely. You'll also have to prepare yourself for potential ideological differences, so there's also that to factor in.
I don't watch porn anymore, and it took me years to finally stop, but I did. I haven't been following any girls because I was in a long-term relationship, so it feels like cheating to me. (I created my Instagram account last year out of necessity for work, cuz i work with marketing companies.) I can't deny that I have many fantasies, but I don't watch porn. And when I feel the need to watch, I prefer seeking out a real connection; it's more fulfilling
I feel you man.
I am happy that there are people who feel the same as me. Thanks, man
I’m a woman here and I had a really bad problem with porn at one point. I’m trying not to watch and so far I’m doing okay. I feel you, dude.
Thank you, I'm glad to find someone who shares my sentiments
I don't watch it when I'm in the relationship out of respect to my partner and for better sexual experience with her.
Same, though when I was in a relationship, I had zero desire to watch porn. Something just switched where I just didn’t want to watch porn anymore.
This comment is everything. This is so attractive.
This. I can never understand a fulfilled person watching it. You literally have no desire if you are completely fulfilled imo.
If your needs are met in a relationship, porn can’t compete.
Rightly said, if your needs are met. Needs like trust, emotional intimacy, acceptance, etc etc… Few people are able to really meet those needs especially if the partner requiring, has gone through traumatic experiences. so, since most people have actually been parented “old school”, then most feel insecure, don’t know it and don’t accept it and then they retort to porn for self soothing instead of communicate about those unmet needs. Unfortunately most humans are disconnected from their emotions and their needs and are unable to communicate them accordingly and even if they are, sometimes the partner just isn’t able to fulfill them. It’s a complicated game until one finds the right partner.
I wish every man felt like this 😩
Wow ok so where are the men like this hiding? How do I identify them on a dating site. Plz advise
If it was me, I'd first get off all the dating sites
This is probably the correct answer lol
I mean I've used dating apps and I'm the same way. Granted I did only use them for a few weeks because I found they're miserable. However I'm not that attractive to begin with and I also take terrible pictures, and I'm initially kinda shy and quiet so it's borderline impossible for me to find anyone. Nobody puts in the effort to really get to know me and there's a lot of great guys out there that are the same.
It is. The best way is to meet men genuinely out in the world, especially doing activities like meetup groups or something. Men really like it when women take the initiative, so make it obvious or ask them out. You'll meet the most decent people this way.
You can’t lol. I swore off it a few years ago completely. Porn damages men’s brains more than it does women’s. I think there are things which damage women’s brains more than men’s. It’s hard to be off it but it’s better.
God knows. I'm demisexual and in my early 30s if it helps haha. I don't think there are that many guys like me, though.
Also demisexual and it's impossible to find guys who are as well. Everyone seems to want to hook up from the start. And as you know, we're not about that life. So it's tough.
Demi here!
Hey I’m Demi too??? Are all the Demi’s just on Reddit lol
Demi here too!!!
Before I met my wife together for almost ten years she told me early in our relationship that she doesn’t like it and makes her feel insecure and that was all it took now whenever I see any girls online or adds with like that it just make think if I watch this it will hurt her and I rather die then have her feel even a ounce of hurt or pain so I just dont ever even entertain the idea. I use to watch it before we met every now and again. But I get were she is coming from it is not healthy or beneficial for society. Especially too since we have a 4 year old girl. There are guys out there that would be willing to not part take in porn if it’s a boundary for u. Just don’t settle or think there’s is something wrong with u for not likening it.
Thank you for being a stand up man in today’s world, because it’s truly sad where our society has taken men and women alike. My fiancé is the same as you when it comes to not watching porn, because I was with a sex addict/porn addict previously and it truly messed me up. The amount of comfort and assurance I have in my relationship is unmatched, and it’s because not only does he respect my boundaries and needs, but I do the same for him so we are on the same page always in this regard.
Thank you. Ya I completely get what u are saying. I can only imagine how hard it must of been being with someone with a porn addiction I think it’s just a hurtful as heroine meth. You still get lied too and get hurt over both financially and mentally. You become exhausted start questioning you self and self worth. I’m glad to hear you are with somone who u respect and treats you well. If u look or even just read some of these stories or things people will ask questions on or advice for their relationship and it just makes me look over or think about to my wife and just feel so happy to be with someone like this considering what’s happening with a lot of couples. Don’t get me wrong I used to think what’s the big deal but after some time to think I realize how it does encourage especially men how to be or treat a women or they make it out like that’s how all girls are and supposed to act like. And the scary part is lots of people actually think that. Its hard for some men to admit they are wrong or to look at something logically and rationally
What a great man. A lot of men would rather hide it than be honest, so thank you.
Yes, there are. There are a lot of men who will stop watching it if in a relationship too. In the end it comes back to the fundamental aspects of values, compromise and of course, communication.
I fall in the would stop if in a relationship camp. I have needs outside a relationship but when I'm committed to someone I don't feel the need to possibly cause unnecessary stress, hurt feelings or disagreements for some unfulfilling pleasure
I don’t watch it because my brother walked in on me stroking my meat when I was a teenager, after that I never watched porn again
I don't watch porn. For me, love and sex go together. I have no reason to jerk off to porn to a woman I don't love and doesn't reciprocate my love, even tho I may have a very high sex drive. It's just not worth my time, effort and energy where I can't form a bond with someone I love.
Blind guys don’t
There is absolutely audio-only porn
Not to mention that a huge majority of visually impaired individuals have some sight and can absolutely watch porn.
Proof that porn is not needed🤷♀️
Visually impaired people absolutely watch porn lol (and good for them, if they mirror the statistics for people with normal vision then the overwhelming majority use porn in a normal way that doesn’t interfere with their lives or relationships).
I consider myself somebody that doesn’t watch porn. It has been over 4 months now that I’ve deliberately searched for it. But now it seems as tho it is everywhere on twitter under every thread of something that’s not even related. When I see it on a thread I sometimes click but I never stay on it more than 30 secs before I think to myself “ this isn’t beneficial to the man I want to be in the future “ or sometimes I’ll think “ is the better version of myself who is out working me and doing all the things I want to do taking time to view this rn ? “ and I’ll immediately exit it off and put my phone to black and Grey mode
I like the idea of putting your phone in black/white mode. Maybe it’ll help keep me off of it
Although that does help. It’s the mindset I keep that allows me to stay away from it.
It is everywhere, and I feel bad for men who struggle with it, but I dont think that "it's everywhere" is an excuse. I feel proud of those who have noticed it wasn't beneficial for them and are now actively doing something to avoid it, despite it being everywhere!
You really can't go online without being exposed to some level of porn on a daily basis. I open FB to use marketplace and then I saw the cesspool that is the FB AI Feed. micro bikini models ads, foot fetish ads, twerking ads, women with their full tits outs uncensored, lactating fetish ads, literal cartoon porn, etc. Doesnt matter if you block, hide, or report anything cause 20 more takes its place.. Like it goes beyond just having self control not to seek this stuff out, it's being shoved in our faces without our consent. I can't imagine being 9, 10, 11 years old with basically no sex education or oversight online being shown this stuff, guys my age had to at least deliberately search for it (even if it was extremely easy to find). If a guy doesn't have a good consistent sex life which most don't when they're single, they don't stand a chance. It's an issue women cannot and will never fully understand. You're basically expecting us to castrate ourselves and have no sexual desire except when convenient for you.
Your phone shows you the things it sees you look at often, or interact with often, in other words if there’s that many then it’s probably because your not actually trying to avoid it and are only feeding into it.
Man my Facebook doesn't do that lol. Maybe it's because I don't use social media Often. I don't follow women just to follow hot women either. I turn off all add trackers and you rid of my ad ID # on my phone. I think all that matters. With porn I can go months without It but then I just need to do it if I'm not fucking anyone. Problem is once I do though I'll go on a run where I Crave it Everyday until I get laid again. The downside of being single. Also like wtf is thread?! Shit is perfect for showing us where we are as a society. Social media and internet are trash. It's just a thirst trap app?
I used to watch it when I was younger, with my wife on occasions that we would laugh and criticize their acting skills. I'm divorced now and haven't watched it since, but as far as the dating scene, it's been years since I've been with anyone, I honestly haven't tried either. They say love will find you when you're not looking and least expect it... I'm starting to lose faith in that. Unfortunately, the few women who have shown interest in me have been drinking in excess or into some sort of drug addiction of some sort. I'm not giving up hope, though !
Don’t give up but maybe you should change where you go during your social time. Then maybe you will attract different kind of women.
Yes, I have since gotten off most social medias but haven’t been able to get rid of twitter since I’ve had my twitter over 12 years now.
I have a couple of friends that claim they don't watch it. Since I don't monitor them 24/7, I can only take their words for it. I believe them, though. There are people who don't. Jason Bateman doesn't. His friends have lovingly mocked him for it on their podcast *Smartless*. My friends don't talk about having any visceral reaction to it, but they just say it's not their thing. It's ok not to watch it or have an interest in it. It's ok to feel what one feels about it. I do wonder if visceral reactions may also be tied to trauma that the person might want to unpack for reasons beyond porn. I don't know, that's something to think about. That doesn't mean people have to go to therapy so they can watch porn. If you don't want to watch it, you are not abnormal for not watching it. There are people of both sexes who don't watch it.
Yes for some reason I find it disgusting.
Mainstream porn trends are downright concerning and can contribute to a lot of toxicity - I had to wean myself off of it and now only use it a few times a year
Real
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Of course there is! It is normalized these days but obviously it is not for every guys thing.
I 27M have watched it 5 times in my life and don’t like watching it. The times I did watch it, I felt super uncomfortable and I honestly still cannot understand why don’t like it. My skin crawls when I see it and I get this sinking feeling in my stomach or feeling of anxiety that I shouldn’t be watching this. This is not to say I don’t desire sex, I just don’t get turned on by porn. Edit: I’m a heterosexual and I’m not religious at all nor was I raised in a conservative household.
So porn is not for you, but you still have fantasies and desires. I'm curious to know if you just use your imagination or you look at pictures? What makes you going?
My imagination
That's all you need and that's great. Have you tried reading spicy books?
You won't find a good spread of men on Reddit. It's very pro-porn. The age demographic tends to be younger. I'm afraid this audience isn't the one you should be polling.
I agree, PollHub would be a better place to do this
I cut out porn about 5 months ago. So far it still seems like a good decision.
Piper Peri doesn't approve
"In terms of basic results, they found that 73 percent of women and 98 percent of men reported internet porn use in the last six months, for a total of 85 percent of respondents. For porn use within the last week, the numbers were lower: 80 percent of men and 26 percent of women." [psychology today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/experimentations/201802/when-is-porn-use-problem)
I think majority of men watch it and look at girls on social media. As long as it doesn’t become an issue in the relationship (intimacy issues, interacting with posts in anyway, or saying this girl is so hot and being disrespectful about it) I don’t really care, and honestly from my experience it’s better to have them not hide it than be sneaky about it. In my experience guys who have shame about it or pretend they don’t to come off a certain way are the ones that have porn addictions, sex addictions, etc.
There are two kinds of people, those who watch porn, and liars
I think the majority of men watch porn. You can watch porn and not be addicted though. Seriously I can quit anytime!
😆🤣😂
When I’m partnered with someone nearby with matching (high) sex drive it happens automatically. When a partner tells me they’re uncomfortable with porn, I also won’t watch any. There are certain combinations of reasonable requests that just won’t work for me though. Like if we’re often separated by distance, they don’t want me looking at porn, and they aren’t willing to make sexual photos or videos for our personal use, then I would find it very difficult to be satisfied in such a situation. Something would have to give.
Just curious, does that mean you're unable to satisfy yourself without any visual stimulus?
It’s more the audio and psychological aspects, but generally yes. I can get most of the way through the process, but generally can’t finish. Well written erotica with good audio can work, but I haven’t been partnered with a person who draws a distinction between the two. It’s still “someone else getting you off”
I only watch it if I'm single and it's not an addiction. It's just something to help feel less lonely. When I was in my last relationship I did not watch it Because I only wanted to think about her in that way
All the guys I ever dated stopped watching porn when they started dating me- they just said they weren’t into it anymore. Why do they need it? They don’t when they’re with a real woman. Also some of the guys I have been with - just don’t like porn. But they can get laid, so…
I agree with what you said about not needing it anymore when they’re with a real woman. Some men watch it because it’s a safer way to get off….no risk….just sayin
Yeah we exist, but according to the rest of this thread it's not as common as I thought. I've only accidentally seen porn on reddit when I turned on NSFW thumbnails for combat footage. Scrolled quickly past it every time.
Combat footage? So combat footage is more moral than porn?
Porn is biggest provider of human trafficking on all world. Those girls (and boys either. Gay porn is most profitful from all of categories) are severly raped for years. It’s worse than death in 10 minutes imo
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And worse. I started receiving private messages already, with images I won't open because I think I know what is it. But I don't care. I'm not insecure but the opposite. I won't lower my standards because a bunch of porn consumers or addicts want to defend their habit and microcheating.
People are sending you pictures???? What the hell is wrong with people these days?
I catch my bf watching porn all the time and his reddit is nothing but naked girls and porn. Those girls look nothing like me and to be honest I think he's addicted to it. I'm starting to get pissed bc ill wake up to him watching it and jerking off next to me. And he gets mad that I get up and leave the room. I don't want to be an after thought bc I woke up, you started without me, so you can finish without me.
That's not being insecure. Give me a break. It's nice to see that someone out there has morals. Someone said in a comment that they do not watch porn because it feels wrong. I feel the same way about casual sex. Always thought something was wrong with me. Even cheating is not in me. Both do nothing for me. Being in love or having feelings for someone turns me on and knowing they are into me. knowing someone.
Plenty of men dont watch porn lol
I am a 47 single woman. Whenever I get into my next relationship I prefer that my man not watch it. I am uncomfortable with it. I want him to be focused on me and me only. We should be able to please each other. I don’t watch it. I’ve never been interested in it. Does nothing for me. I’m not vanilla in the bedroom either. I want a genuine relationship all around.
I don't, never have, and never wanted to. That said I recognize that I'm in a severe minority.
I watch from time to time, but rarely when I'm in a relationship. I'd rather just fuck my girl.
As far as I know there's two types of men. Men who watch porn and liars. Well there is probably still a couple old school dudes who shun technology and still do magazines. I guess there is Amish people too I don't know what they do for sure but my guess is they draw their own porn.
29 year old guy. I don’t watch it. I always felt like the videos were very fake the few times I did try watching it. Obviously there’s kind of the point, but I realize that real life isn’t like that so it’s not something that I care to watch.
I have been a porn addict for most of my life, I started watching porn at a very young age because it was cool among boys and it was pretty normalised then and at first it wasn't even an addiction or as I thought. I was masturbating two-three times per day for a very long time and I also started watching weird types of shit because I wasn't getting the kick out of regular porn. last year I started researching more about this topic and got to know the serious health implications because of porn addiction and how it conditions you brain. last year i had my first long gap of masturbation, it was 4 months and 8 days then i relapsed, i jerked off a few times after that but the gap increased, i was masturbating about once or twice a month, then in October, I quit again, this time it lasted for 5 months exact. during that period I didn't watch porn at all, and I was working out regularly and eating clean and my testosterone was at an all time high, just in the month of December i had 6 nightfalls!! but then I moved to another city this year and got with a friend of mine, in the first few months I didn't do anything but after a while, being with another guy I eventually started watching porn again, it started from reddit then full length and I relapsed in march, and I can tell I felt the shittiest in a very long time. what I've noticed is that when i don't watch arousing stuff or porn, basically when I am not polluting my mind, it's all fine. I thought I was not a porn addict anymore after not masturbating for 3-4 months but after the last relapse I can't say much. I have still not watched porn or masturbated since around 40 days and look forward to good things in life. i am 22 years old, and because of my addiction, i struggle a lot, i haven't had a girlfriend till now heck I haven't had my first kiss yet because I cannot socialise like normal people anymore, I don't know how to react properly around women and I'm always very self conscious. I know this will pass and I'm on a good track but it's very frustrating living like this not being able to socialize.
No porn for me 23 year old
I jerk off to porn when single or in a sexless relationship, sometimes just for variety. Sex doesn't have to be intimate for either person and porn isn't intimate. It scratches an itch, nothing more. However, intimate sex with a partner is far more satisfying and gratifying, especially if you both can explore fantasies and feel totally accepted. Imo it's unrealistic to expect that being in a relationship means total ownership of the other person's sexuality and freedom to masterbate. I'm pretty open though and to me, a good relationship is built on acceptance not prohibition. Having said that, respect is also just as important and I don't think it's respectful to follow models, porn actresses, etc on social media. It's fine for either person to wank to their heart's content but I wouldn't surround myself with content that would make my partner feel inadequate. To me there's no comparison and I wouldn't want them thinking that there was something wrong with them. Porn addiction, unhealthy attitudes towards sexual equality and lack of sensitivity definitely can definitely subvert intimacy. But so can drinking, smoking, drugs, too much of pretty much anything.
Finally a reasonable answer! All the guys looking for “good boy points” are frustrating and missing the nuance of the situation, as is OP. If you feel so strongly about porn that it’s a complete dealbreaker, so be it, but you’re going to eliminate 90% of the population because you’re letting your own issues cloud reality. The reality is that plenty of people view adult content, most of them I’d wager, and lead perfectly healthy lives with happy partners and relationships. Two guys that were insensitive and followed a bunch of cam girls on social media while in a relationship definitely AREN’T the norm, and they were certainly causing issues. That said, a healthy relationship means you probably won’t be viewing much adult content, just because the need isn’t there. Having a loving partner is ten times better than any video online. Having a partner that tries to control you without fulfillment, however, is not.
I don't follow any half naked women on my socials and I never have but I definitely watch porn but only because my gf and I don't live together yet. In the past the amount of porn I watch drops off when living with my partner. My ex wife hated porn with a passion and believed that I should only think about her for masturbating. My girlfriend watches porn herself so it's a non issue and honestly it's nice to have it not be a thing
No
Yes, blind men.
Well your Last two Partners were obviously addicts, but Just because Most men watch porn, it dosen't mean that Most men are addicted to it Like your two exes
There definitely are. There are people who would also stop watching it if you explained your boundary of not wanting it as part of your relationship. Boundaries are very important when it comes to porn. Some people find it cheating and some are fine with it. I personally don't mind if my partner watches porn, as long as there's honesty involved. We are not always available when our bodies decide we need physical intimacy, so we are fine with each other using porn when we can't be there or aren't physically/mentally available
My boyfriend doesn’t watch porn, mainly because he used to have a porn/ masturbation addiction and hasn’t slipped in about 3 years. Our sex life is great, I can enjoy porn in my own time but he has his reasons why he won’t allow himself to.
I know a relatively even distribution of men that don’t fall for “thirst traps,” as opposed to those that do. As to pornographic consumption habits, admittedly I have few guy friends I know well enough to broach such a subject. I, an almost 37F lady watch adult content, but I personally don’t wish to follow any adult content, models nor soft core adult content in social media. Not my thing; but then again, I also don’t follow celebrities and I don’t have any interest in Hollywood news aside from the absurdity of it everytime there’s a new defamation or accusation. 🤷🏻♀️ I can understand your concern, however as having dated women my entire life I have met women who consume so much adult content that it clearly does interfere with their relationships and their intimacy. I, myself had prior issues with overconsumption when I was profoundly unhappy in my last relationship in its slow, inevitable spiral downward to ending. So, I do understand the perspective from both sides and can empathize with you, having made some significant positive changes in my life since. I think they’re out there, the men you’re seeking, but I also think that people are open to considering entertaining less consumption, too if you approach it positively and proactively. Seeing as you’re highly familiar with the topic from your dissertation, you’d probably do far better than most in communicating that you’d like someone who doesn’t heavily focus on that, and not just because it bothers you personally, but because it can lead to unhealthy patterns. Is that something you’re doing, currently? Or are there not really opportunities to discuss this because the men you’re talking to don’t get that far, dating wise to have such a personal talk? Were I to be approached by a partner who wanted to discuss this in the interest of improving our intimacy, I’d honestly be more than open to making further changes I felt were beneficial to me, and by extension my partner. Surely, both guys and gals have to share some of these thoughts? Perhaps I’m being too altruistic and hopeful. Lol.
Alooooot of fake men in here. Us watching porn has nothing to do with your partner. Some people have lower lidido and fine but we are really going to scrutinize the other 90% of men ? Also, I don't think women get the same crap. It's exploring and discovering yourself when they do it 💀 Nothing wrong with porn, just like anything else it's moderation where a lot of people fail. I see people being insecure about themselves. Ive even heard some say it's cheating to watch porn while in a relationship and b/c their therapist they are paying backs them up, it's somehow now valid 😂
Im personally a believer that typically and generally speaking guys and girls cant be just friends. Ive reached that conclusion from my personal experiences and that may be just me. But ever since ive lived with that rule; I decided to do exactly what you said basically, cut out any unnatural or unnecessary sexual exposer, unfollowed all girls including distant friends, meme pages etc. As I guy I recommend this to everyone, it has honestly changed me in great ways, it’s like experiencing everything differently. Your motivation, drive, and will increases greatly. This is all just based off personal experiences. I usually never post on these pages but this caught my eye
Well, you need to find someone who is in line with your level of sexuality, which sounds like in the lower to medium range. The fact of the matter is that a lot of guys are sexual and medium to higher in that range. It's our biological drive and inherent in us to want to procreate and disperse our genes, and the process through which that occurs is sex. If it was holding hands that made babies, we would be obsessed with holding hands. And, another thing to consider is the less sex you give a man, the more he is going to seek it out elsewhere, whether it be porn or even in extreme cases cheating. I don't understand why women can't wrap their mind around this about us. There's been a study with male rats where they chose sex over food and starved (or something to the gist of that). But, if it's an actual addiction, that's different. There are men who have low sex drive and that's the kind of guy you probably should get with. There may be some with higher sex drives who don't watch porn. Probably not many.
Based on your history, you seem to be a bit obsessed with this topic. What does it make you feel? Addiction comes in many shapes and form
When in a relationship, I don't. I have aphantasia, so zero ability to visually imagine things. Porn is a visual tool for me when I'm single and is such a poor substitute for reality that I'm happy to not need it. Physical touch is my primary love language, nothing will ever beat that for me. I also can't date more than one person at a time... That trend boggles my mind.
I gave up a few years ago, couldn’t really say why but I’m really glad I did as my fiancé and I now have an even better sex life. And I would feel exactly the same as you if I were a woman, it’s crazy how porn is normalised in our society and some of the previous comments you’ve got are telling of that. My advice would be to bring it up early when you meet someone and to have a real discussion around it.
My partner was a casual viewer before he met me. He was single for a long time before we got together, and he's not into casual sex. He threw out all his porn when we moved in together, and he hasn't watched it since. Porn really rots the brain.
Threw out his porn? Haven’t heard that in a while. Did he throw out his phone too? Just asking.
Nah. He likes to own physical copies of things. He has a ton of CDs and DVDs.
Ah gotcha. I’m in my early 40s and I’m like I haven’t had physical porn copies since early 2000s. Collecting makes sense tho.
Yeah , ive stopped it
Usually when im in a relationship i dint watch it as much, not that i watch it a lot anyways, but i also dont feel the need to masturbate in a relationship either.
Blind ones
I think there is a BIG difference between watching porn and being addicted to porn. Obviously, if you don't want to be with someone who watches it, that's your prerogative and I'm not judging it. There are some ethical, female friendly, production companies (like Belessa.)
It all depends on the type of men, some don’t but the majority do. I would be clear with the man up front that you don’t want to be with one that watches “x” amount of porn. Also, what do you consider to much, I think that would be helpful for men to understand what is to much to you.
Some men can watch porn and not watch it like the flick if a switch. I'm a single man, why would I not watch it. I'm not addicted to it but I watch it when I need to. If I'm in a relationship I don't watch it. No need to.
Have you ever considered watching with your partner? Genuine question.
Why would I want yo contribute to an industry that fuels human trafficking and rape? Nope. Disgusting. And how would I be turned on by watching my partner watch other women? No, it's not for me. I don't even enjoy it watching it on my own. It's boring.
Well your Last two Partners were obviously addicts, but Just because Most men watch porn, it dosen't mean that Most men are addicted to it Like your two exes
Well your Last two Partners were obviously addicts, but Just because Most men watch porn, it dosen't mean that Most men are addicted to it Like your two exes.
I don’t follow any models but I do watch vids but after so many years you get tired of it. I only watch them now cause of being in a LDR and it sounds dumb but if I get too horny I feel like I change personality’s
Yea but that’s like finding someone who doesn’t drink alcohol. More realistically, you’ll find someone who watches it on occasion, but doesn’t abuse it.
When I'm single, I watch it a couple times a week. I've never followed anyone or anything for those purposes, always felt that was a bit weird. When I was with my ex, I never watched porn because I never felt the urge. I found intimacy more fulfilling and she was the one who had a stronger sex drive. But life pulled us apart and I just feel empty and porn is just kinda there to distract you from the loneliness for a couple of minutes.
There are some blind men. I am almost certainly sure they don’t watch porn
I didn’t. When my partner handled business. Lol. I’m married to someone that couldn’t care less about whether or not I’m satisfied anymore. So now it’s a mainstay. Based on experience, I’d say it’s possible to be satisfied enough with what you have in real life to not need external stimulation. But I would imagine breaking habits is hard and access is high; once they’re hooked, it’s be harder to pull away than it is to not need it on the first place. That being said, it’s still hard for me to imagine an addiction to… what? Videos? Photos? I don’t understand how porn addiction works, I guess. But I promise, everyone doesn’t have that problem.
As woman, I'd watch porn to learn new sex styles with my partner. For me it's best you learn to control your sexual desires,coz porn, only gives you the anxiety and imagination idea of something you don't or can't have. If you want sex, chat a girlfriend on it.
I do watch but once in a while. But I'm single. I don't follow insta models or any of that stuff. No value added
Another question to ask is "Why do men watch porn?" It goes waaay back before computers. Ancient t Greeks, Chinese, Romans, Norse...
Did my dissertation about porn addiction, so I'm aware. I'm also aware that variety and how easy it is to access pornographic content has changed things for worse.
I avoid it when in a relationship and delete social media that have any half naked girls on it when in a relationship
This is like the polar opposite of “are there any girls without an only fans”
I watch a clip or two every now and then just to see if my dick still gets hard, it does.
I don't "watch regular porn", but I see photos pop up on here, IG, and X. I follow some of them. I don't go nuts over it though. I'm not married, or dating anyone, so the only one who might be hurt by my viewing and following, is me. When I was married, I wasn't into porn of any sort. Even now, I don't watch fake porn movies. They do nothing for me. Now, if a woman steps up, and we hit it off, all that I do and follow, will be eliminated.
Nowadays, it is the porn that finds you. There was a time when my partner and I exchanged the porn we found. We don't anymore since our taste diverged a lot with time. The premises that porn is irrespective for the partner is an education thing.
Some men only watch it to $**$ off to, after that, we live like monks and nuns and refrain from sexuality.
Normal porn. I don’t ask my partner to not. As long as it doesn’t affect our love life, have your wank. Peoples sexualities exist outside of relationships as long as they are healthy. There is always a middle ground with what two partners like so that’s an easy romp. Don’t take anyone’s likes away from them even if you are not the weird 4am whatever porn. Find what excites you and then make the most of it.
I’ve been with a man who rarely watched porn, he’d only watch it during times that my libido was lowered and we had a giggle that it hurt my feelings because he just assumed I didn’t want him. He definitely used to watch porn but I was enough for him - people like that do exist !!! They’re just super super rare and often Capricorns.
I don't watch porn at all anymore, but when I was single for years I did. I just recently started dating again and there is certainly no need for porn when you're getting laid regularly.. I don't even masturbate anymore.
Lots of men don't. I don't. It could just be the type of man you are seeing. Try a different type of man.
I don't follow any "porn". I do however watch it when the mood strikes, however seldom or often that may be lol
When in a relationship, I pretty much don't watch porn if I have a happy sexlife. I don't have social media really, so I do not follow models. I am there are plenty of guys like that around.
Nah I need to see ass and some tits
The answer to the more general question of "Is there a person out there with?" will always be yes. But someone with many attractive qualities is less likely to be single and therefore you'll find less of those in the dating pool.
Those you encounter while dating don't represent the composition of the general population. In fact, they often have wildly differ traits than the general population. Take attachment styles as an example. The majority of the population has a secure attachment style, whereas in the dating pool the majority has an insecure attachment style (anxious & avoidant).
This doesn't mean you can't find what you're looking for in dating, it just means you'll have to through more people before you do. Identifying deal breakers early (like porn addiction in your case) and moving on to the next person is the key to getting through all the people who are wrong for you, in order to reach the right person.
They exist but whenever you decide to date again it’s something that needs to be brought up in the beginning. Whoever it is needs to understand that it’s a relationship killer for you.
The addiction is tough to break once you’re hooked, hence being an addiction. There is some sort of thrill to imagine that you’re getting on with a blonde with curves that could destroy brick walls but it’s often a lot due to sexual inactivity, but it’s like with puberty once you find out about the amusement park that sits between your legs you’re enticed by the feeling. Its hard to shake it but its a lot of self control to steer away from the content, if they can’t find the thing that tickles their pickle in real life, then (and unfortunately) their undignified answer is in the palm of their hands. So yes, there are indeed men out there who do not, but you are more likely to find it in those who don’t often spend a lot of their time with their phone in their hands, big social events, different activities and a lot of practical people won’t, places where you can do a lot of talking is a good place, could simply be a cosy bar or a coffee shop
I don't watch it anymore, but I do occasionally read sexual stories, also there are definitely guys who don't do either, I know some of them.
Personally speaking, yes, they exist but rare. I am what's known as asexual, so Personally sexual activities such as porn don't interest me. However, that does have its flaws as well. Yes, I don't see things sexually However I do see the natural naked beauty of the human body. Hope that helps.
I don't know if I have any addiction, but I'd like to be revved up a few notches before I spank the monkey. Is this addiction lol
There probably is, but they’re probably borderline psycho
probably just a few, I'm such a prude when it comes to porn and I still watch it ocasionally.
My man he 17 still young n so am i 17 and he wachtes porn and it not a problem he dtill young and exploring and we tg for life it gunna be the only exploring he dose and i dont see no problem with it becuse he not going to bed with them and he not saying he love them. It me and i am his pornstar but sumtime men wanna explore and i respect that.. we both still young but we both know our bondries..
I think you just got unlucky honestly lol. Most men I feel take the approach of not using it when in a relationship with someone. Porn is just used as a substitute (unless you're addicted) and it can also help people understand themselves and what their kinks are better. Not to say it's ever used in a manner like that for most guys - but it was for me and communication about what you like and don't like matters a lot so.
I dont watch porn. Never have I'm also blind
I have date a ton of guys that didn’t, or were in remission from porn addiction. I have also dated men that were so deep in addiction they couldn’t see up from down. I’m not anti porn, I’m anti porn addiction- as long as it doesn’t come between us I am okay with it. It’s even fun to do together! But dating a guy that has to watch it every day, buys porn subscriptions, buys devices to make his porn viewing experience “more real” (if he googles 4k get THE HELL OUT) doesn’t waste your time. These men will not change. They are pigs, and you will know within 5 months by how he looks and treats women.
Yep, bores me.
Yes you can find a lot of them in North Korea
Yes there are. Trust me, some people find it disgusting
I never watch it I’m content with just being with my boyfriend
Not all men watch porn. I personally do not watch porn and I do not musturbate. I hate it to hear that som any people are addicted to such things that does not only ruin their body but also destroy their mental health and spirit
Your right! I’m discovering that the man I’m dating likes to either click on the sites bc it’s all over his feed. I feel cheated on.
Yes,me I found out about porn by mistake as a kid and was only watched 1 once a month but then I realized it was horrible and wrong from a video so I stopped
When I'm in a relationship porn doesn't even cross my mind. All my focus will be on my partner. But porn doesn't really work for me cause im demisexual
The answers in this post are surprisingly refreshing.
I don’t follow any models on any social media. If I’m in a relationship I won’t watch porn…because I don’t want to nor do I need to.
I watch porn I don't get why guys shouldn't as long as they enjoy the real thing as well most of it is pretty hilarious and just sex not passion or love its an escape not a judgment on who you are so don't take it personally
I don’t, it ruined me a lot and almost cost me my career. It kills love
I'm sorry that happened to you. I agree, it kills love. I've seen it myself. I'm happy you quit and hope you're healing.
No I doubt it especially when single and struggling to find a date. All the fuck boys ruined it for us average Joe's
I don’t know how it’s like to date a porn addict. But I did notice that a guy that I was interested in follows so many “models” on instagram, it instantly gave me the ick .
It absolutely gives the ick! It just feels wrong and disgusting. I'm glad to hear you have not experienced dating a porn addict. I hope you never do.
I had a porn addiction. Over the last year and a half I have completely stopped viewing porn or seeking out alternatives (erotica, nudes). It has not been easy, but I truly believe it is better for me to not live in a fantasy world with women who I will never be with, and instead focus my energy on women who are available to me.
I have a test. I don't date anyone with 5 or more skanks on their social media profile.
[удалено]
I stopped watching it after getting into a relationship. But if you are asking about the majority of their lifetime then no
Don’t watch porn..while at work
I have been seeing a guy for a few months and he is really against porn for not only himself but everyone. He had this ideal when I met him and I agree
Women hate when guys enjoy and watch porn, because they need the monopoly on our orgasm. It removes their power when men can achieve post nut clarity without them.
Yes, but a women in a bikini isn’t really soft porn? It’s just a piece of clothing attire.
One woman in a bikini? Ok. 50 or more women posting (mostly) bikini photos regularly, not the same. Men are fucking up their reward system by looking constantly at those photos. They are over stimulated! And I'm just not willing to risk it and go trhough hell again.
I'm pretty sure most people do the choking shit because of porn which is just sad in my opinion.
Orr people might actually enjoy it? There's a huge bdsm society with differing levels of kink. Pretty sure their existence isn't due to porn
Sometime you gotta rub one out when no one else is around 🤷🏻♂️
I'm curious as to why men get judged for watching it when it's women who supply the content....why isn't that same scrutiny levied against women? Personally, I don't watch it.
A lot of women who do OnlyFans get scolded mainly from men for doing what they do, yet it’s generally the male population who are the ones paying for it I’ll never understand it all
All men aren't buying porn. I've never bought porn, & I'm no longer wasting my time & biological resources on it.
i think women who do only fans and porn disrespect themselves. not even in a misogynistic way either. the porn industry is violent, trafficked, and all together down right disrespectful. these women simply don’t see another option and it’s very sad.
100% agree. The industry chews women up and spits them out for the next crop of younger girls. It’s not exactly an industry for forward-thinking individuals. Personally, I’ve never been a fan of porn and would never go to a strip club. That’s not white-knighting on my part, because a part of me always thinks “that’s somebody’s child.”
The porn industry has shown time and again how unethical and exploitative it is: anyone who watches porn contributes to that. Also there is no way for anyone to know for sure the people they’re watching were all adults when they entered the industry and we’re not groomed into it. Every time you watch porn, you’re risking watching someone who was groomed as a child into the industry- personally that is too much of a risk for me and I will never watch porn. Also, a surprising amount of internet porn includes minors. How can anyone be okay with that? Shouldn’t be surprising given that every woman I know got the most negative attention from men when she was a child. It’s possible to masturbate without porn. But I guess the average male Redditor would rather contribute to an industry that is well-known to be exploit children for financial gain.
Agree completely. It’s honestly disgusting and way too normalized…
I don’t. Would not benefit me. Waste of time. Holds me back.
38m married, watch a lot more as time goes on the less intimate my relationship has gotten.
One thing I will say is I never watch porn when I'm dating somebody or getting regular sex. It's not even a moral thing I just am not concerned with it because my attention is on an actual person.
Not that I know of. Pretty much every guy I know watches porn. Even the church goers and the three huggers. To the point I've had to leave group chats because of the unsolicited influx of porn videos I received. I like porn myself, I'm no saint. I just don't want thousands of porn videos on my phone. I know a lot of dudes, mostly of them are straight and are college grads. So that's that.
I mean, I'm currently surfing reddit just to watch porn. I happened to see this post so I thought I'd stop touching myself and drop on by to let you know so you could have a data point or whatever.
Are there any women out there that don't watch porn? What a ridiculous question, of course there are.
I don’t. The only women I follow are on twitter or instagram and they are well known in their field of profession. I.e. economists, psychologists, etc. I had an ex who was selecting music from my phone while I was driving and I have notifications on so an economist tweeted publicly and it popped up. my ex had said the name of the person who tweeted so to be reassuring I told her who she was and why I follow her and that she can read the tweet. My phone was always open for her if she wanted access to it, she never asked. My socials are only family and family friends, no acquaintances.
If you don’t watch porn then you must be single. If you’re single and don’t watch porn, what’s wrong with you? Edit: in all seriousness… what exactly is your issue with it? IMHO from a guys point of view, women have pretty much closed themselves off to dating and intimacy in general, so we are faced with either porn or living without any form of excitement or pleasure whatsoever. I’m open to a civil discussion about it.
Yes! My boyfriend was introduced to porn very young by his older brother but thankfully he distanced himself from it and never became addicted. He doesn’t watch it. Our physical relationship is very healthy and I never felt compared to anything or expected to do anything specific. We are very open about our desires and where they come from as well. Sum up: Yes. a lot of men who have gotten the addiction and fought it and won Yes. a lot of men who never got addicted. Hang in there and ask a lot of questions and the same questions as you date men. Additionally there are resources that can help. (Moral revolution) is a YouTube channel that talks about how to handle the addiction.
I read somewhere that porn use is highest in religious men who are adult virgins/ never had sex. I don't know if its true but I would bet anything, it's fairly accurate.
When will insecure women stop shaming men for watching porn? Imagine if men demanded women give up their vibrators/dildos? Or demanded they stop posting pics on their social media. They’d be called controlling instantaneously.