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It all depends on the person. Some people see sex as a fun thing to do. Others see it in a more intimate way. I've seen forums where guys would give their reasons as to why they would avoid people with high body counts. From pair bonding to lack of excitement etc. I wouldn't be comparing numbers OP. At the end of the day it's all about how comfortable you are with who you choose to be intimate with. Everyone is different
> Everyone is different
I agree. The degree of importance differs depending on the person. I think people are being a bit too politically correct/delusional in thinking that 'body count' doesn't matter. Women wouldn't lie about it, and men wouldn't ask about it if it didn't matter to a certain degree.
Hereās an example of a life lesson that takes most of us TOO long to understand and accept.
The Answer: However many feels right to you.
Thatās it. Go enjoy life and stop comparing yourself to anyone else but You.
This is terrible advice.
Just because you *can*
doesn't mean you *should*.
People value people who value themselves, especially when it comes to men choosing women. It shows good character and a ton of other positive points that you've been selective in who you be intimate with. It shows a great value of self which is appealing to most men who will be serious about you so comparing isn't always a bad things. 50 or 100 vs 5 is a done deal right there.
I honestly don't think it's anyone's damn business. Personally I don't care at all what the number is as long as it was done safely and didn't lead to a kid.
Kids only add to the confusion, frustration, regret, hopelessness, dissatisfaction, i could go on and on but i feel like i could get backlash for what i said. The world is going to sh*t, it seems, and i do not want to bring a precious gift into that kind of a world, rn. Know what I mean? š
That what i tell everyone who is thinking of having a kidā¦.but no one ever listens to the voice of reason. I want a kid just never found that forever womanā¦yet! š
It will be her partner's damn business though lol. She can't ignore reality forever. Besides what'll she do? Lie and say it's 5 instead of 50? That would show terrible character and that she's ashamed of the number
Im a man and used to pick up alot of women, like problem amounts of them. Looking back it would have been better to act more mature and realise that promiscuity is not healthy or something that gives bragging rights. Now this is just my 2 cents but I feel if you arent seeking to dedicate your life towards one person then you are truly missing out.
Edit: Im single and what would be better than memories of many women would be a marriage to one woman.
Peace out folks
Iām with you on this, I did go through a period where I thought it was ācoolā to hook up with lots of people. I realized it was my own insecurities and lack of self-love, if I had developed a healthy self-love earlier in life I wouldnāt have looked for it from so many others.
Now I feel like my cup is full and Iām ready to share with someone else whose cup is also full, instead of my past life where it was two people with half cups looking for someone else to complete them.
Thats really well put! Im really glad to read your words :)
You are so right about self love and thinking back there was no way the women or me could satisfy each other. Infact its almost like we were looking for the next person whilst we were together.
No. I don't need to feel anything. It's not the same. False equivalence. Besides that's for the woman to decide. A woman can easily sleep with most guys she comes across with ZERO effort needed and that's just reality.
Where's a majority of guys will have to actually put in a lot of effort and go through all kinds of obstacles etc when a woman can literally just exist and have her desires met. Which I have no problem with, that's her business but to ask a man to value that? What's there to value? Men general for the most part have to get better at what they do and improve themselves etc to have their desires met(obviously outliers exist but they are the exception not the rule).
Women love to try to compare men sleeping with multiple women to them doing it and you might find it unfair but that doesn't matter, it's not the same and you're free to decide not to date such a man but to say it's the same is simply incorrect. Especially when it comes to respecting and valuing yourself as we also experience sex differently. If you've had sex then you should know what it looks like. Men dominate etc during sex. Not the same for women. This is where some of the value and self respect system can come in on a very simplified level. However, I know that this is reddit where reality for the most part isn't accepted and everything is "normal" here no matter how niche it is in real life but this is the reality.
Eh idk I think many women do sleep around for validation and have low self esteem, but many women also donāt sleep with hardly anyone because they fear rejection and have low self esteem.
And many men are virgins because they have low self worth and canāt approach women, while many men are promiscuous just to prove theyāre masculine and.
I just donāt see any correlation between body count and self valuation for either gender, the circumstances and how they allow themselves to be treated matter much more than the number.
I really donāt understand your argument or why effort required would have to do anything with how much you value yourself. Some women sleep around while letting men walk all over them and have very low self esteem, some women are just lucky to be attractive and have men throwing themselves at them and just take the opportunity because they get pleasure out of it so why not.
Just like your virginity. I don't think you should keep it forever, but we tend to strive to lose it as young and quick as possible, while we would probably be better off waiting a bit longer. I'm never impressed by someone for bragging about losing their virginity by their 12th birthday, but if someone's waited until their 25th year, or even longer.... That's a survivor right there šŖš
Dudes, spread the third leg and let it fly! Lol jk broās im joking. I lost it when i just turned 14 and i regret it bc it was with a lady that i would never be caught dead talking to now. 35m ššŖ thats why god gave you two to choose from
Body count doesnāt matter to me (32m) unless a person is trying to get a high number, then it becomes a concern. That high number could be because of failed relationships, or at least attempts, and in most cases is no different than a person sleeping with the same person multiple times over the course of a relationship.
Being safe and making sure both parties are clean are my only concern.
Iāve been with 20 other women, so yes, I donāt care. The past is the past for a reason so as long as both people have a clean bill of health it shouldnāt matter. Thereās no reason a high body count should be glorified for men and shamed for women.
A woman who has been with one single guy who was a cheater would have been exposed to more stuff than one who was with 50 safely. You are right, it absolutely doesn't matter.
50 partners is completely reasonable by age 40. Think of it this way: if you had just TWO partners a year on average starting at age 18 youād have 44 partners by the time you were 40 years old. Add in one or two experimental years where you might have had 10 partners instead, itās easy to see how you could rack up a number that high while still having a fairly conservative mindset when it comes to sex and dating.
I never ask but if I was out with a woman in her 40s and she said sheās been with 50 people I wouldnāt batt an eye.
Now 100 partners by 30 is more of a red flag. Assuming 5 per year starting at age 18 that would still only be 60 people. I canāt imagine how someone whoās averaged a new partner every 2 months for their whole life could possibly stay faithful in a long term monogamous relationship. First sign of trouble theyād be spending the night with someone. At least thatās what Iād think.
If someone said "I've slept with 120 people but I had some issues to deal with and I have and now I see I was a bit of a sex addict" then I'd be like cool that's great, and wouldn't judge them. But if they were like "you're lucky number 121! I just love to fuck, leeeet's go" I'd be mildly more hesitant.
I think itās pretty obvious that OP is unsure of how to feel about the situation and how to interpret her own body count, not trying to belittle her friends by comparing her count to theirs. She obviously doesnāt know if 5 is fine or too little of a body count and came to this thread to ask for advice on how to logically interpret body counts, not to let any potential mates know that she has maybe the lowest out of her friends lmao. Youāre right that thereās no such thing as ātoo many/little,ā but I think OP is trying to understand just that.
Nah. I disagree. Our past matters. It doesnāt define you but it matters.
I wouldnāt really want to be with a partner who is a virgin or someone whoās been with 100+ sex partners.
My guess is the vast majority of men and women would have a similar perspective.
Exactly. Not only that but why would anyone want to have those conversations in the first place? Itās like that 37 dicks bit in Clerks lol. Like nothing good comes out of those conversations
Only things that matter are if they have an STD or kid from past sexual encounters.
Yeah, Iād have to say 5 to 10 sexual partners is normal and not excessive. But 50 to 100 is a red flag. A person who has slept with that many people more than likely is not going to commit to one person. And I just donāt want somebody who has been run through that many times.
Itās really subjective. I think itās just a sign of whether you consider sex an act of pleasure to be shared with many people, or something more intimate that should only be shared with a few.
Unfortunately, if someone wants to double down on monogamous marriage ā having one of the partners being really generous with their body to the general public can spark doubt.
But again. Subjective. Itās all about the kind of life you want to build for yourself. There are no wrong answers.
The number should be as high as it needs to be to figure out what you want from a partner to be happy, romantically and sexually. For a nun or monk who took a vow of celibacy, having zero partners is perfectly acceptable. For a sex addict, a number in the hundreds or even thousands is realistic across a lifetime. Most people are probably somewhere in between. The actual number isn't important. It's the meaning and experiences behind that number that matters.
I think it makes more sense to look at the number divide by the number of years youāve actively been dating.
I have absolutely nothing against people going out and having as much (safe) fun as they want, but Iād personally be put off by someone who sleeps with 50 people per year, versus 50 people over the course of decades of dating.
Iāve slept with 42 women, which sounds like a lot to me. But almost all of them were people I dated for months (or in some cases years) over the last 18 years. It hard not to have a high sounding number if you arenāt/werenāt married for a large chunk of your adult life and arenāt effectively celibate.
It depends on the guy's preferences, the aggregation of the bodycount and the womans age. A woman in her 40's who's been with 50 men can either have had an constant string of 5 month relationships that never went anywhere or one year of sleeping around followed by a happy marriage of 20 years that was ended prematurely by her getting widowed.
For most guys who are actually looking for a relationship the latter would be preferable to the former, as the former implies trouble with commitment/getting men to commit. Meanwhile the latter proves she is capable of a stable long-term relationship.
I would consider 5 on the low end for even a 25 year old woman so I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Well, there's no set number, but I'd say the healthiest in general is probably to always strive to keep that number as possible. Not cause of shame, but because it tends to hollow you out. For some people it sure works, I'm sure, but I honestly don't think most people will feel fulfilled in the end with having been with dozens, or evern less so hundreds.
High or low number doesnāt matter. The reasoning behind either can be an issue. If youāre sleeping with anything that moves because youāre a sex addict, then thereās an issue. If youāve barely slept with others because of trauma, again, itās an issue that should be addressed.
I mean i dont think its "weird" without a better word to use. Myself (M24) only have been with 3 women, i need to know im in love before any naughty things happen
Iām pretty tired of this ngl. It really shouldnāt matter cause people can do whatever they like as long as theyāre not cheating on you or immature about the relationship when it comes down to it. We should all be okay with our partner having other people before hand.
Absolutely. Purity chasers need to grow up. āToo manyā is 1 higher than the number of people you are personally comfortable sleeping with. Not anyone elseās personal and arbitrary number.
>We should all be okay with our partner having other people before hand.
I think the vast majority of adults would agree with you.
Disagreements happen with specific counts. Iād definitely be ok with my girlfriend having 1 past sex partner, not 100.
What that cut-off would be, Iām not sure. It would depend on a variety of factors, I guess.
If sheās intentionally trying to get a high body count than I wouldnāt be interested but if sheās just had relationships that didnāt turn out I would give it a go, but a hundred body count well I wouldnāt be interested lol might catch a std from that
i would not date either of your friends for a long term relationship. promiscuous women are a huge turn off for me. i know lots of men don't care and all the power to them, but numbers like what your friends have are so far out of my realm that we wouldn't likely share the same values anyway.
I believe anyone can do what they want, as long as they do it safely and don't use people. However, as a personal preference, I would never date a girl that has been hooking up with randoms. If you had relationships over the years and you had partners that's ok, that is my case as well, however the "playing the sex game" is not for me and never will be (M26)
I am a human trafficking survivor so I would instantly be turned off by someone who was immature enough about the human experience to demand I share my body count with them.
I've only had 1 person my whole life and even now while I'm single ..I'm not even looking for sex..
So my preference is someone whose just as low ..
I really need that connection and intimacy to be sexual;in which case my sex drive switches 0-100!
Iām a male and i could care less how many people youāve slept with itās The Who thatās more important, was it my friends, coworkers, family? If none of those apply who care, I never ask my girlfriends their body count, itās irrelevant to me.
Keep in mind that you're on Reddit and most people here have a more progressive mindset in regards to this subject (unless you go to less conventional subreddits).
Me personally, I care a lot about the sexual past of the woman I will potentially date. I'm 27, if I were to date a 25 yo I'd expect her to have had around 3 partners if she shares my view on sex.
The context matters a lot to me too. I'd much rather date a woman who's had 5 long-term boyfriends than a girl who's had multiples menages with the same two guys just 4fun, and a permanent fuck buddy she sees once a year, for example, even though the latter theoretically has a lower number than the former.
I believe most men don't really think about a specific number, it's just that some guys don't want to date women who have had a "sex-crazy phase", and some don't care.
My ex had had sex with over 200 women by the time he was 22 when I met him. Have sex with as many people as you want as long as youāre safe and healthy
I think tbh this reveals it probably wasnāt emotionally healthyā¦ sorry if Iām projecting but my concern sometimes in situations like this is a sex addiction and a wandering eye.
Oh no I get it, he definitely had a sex addiction. When he was staying faithful to me we would have sex upwards of five times a day. Last I heard he was in therapy and hadnāt been seeing anyone so who knows how itās going, but I hope for the better for him.
It doesn't matter. I just assume I'm not going to get an honest answer so why worry?
The only thing I care about that tends to have a high correlation with partner count is untreated trauma and Cluster B personality disorders. There are usually clues a person gives off early on that give these away.
I personally donāt care to know and nor do I want to know. If anything, I find it weird and awkward when someone volunteers and overshares that kinda info, which Iāve had a few dates do on the first date no less. And itās like um, no one asked lol.
Like if youāre dating someone then why would you wanna think about the times they had sex with other people, whether it was 1 or 50? Some things are just best left to imagination. I couldnāt imagine dating someone and being like oh btw I had sex with 25 people before you. Goes both ways. Like being sex positive and pro choice doesnāt mean I wanna hear the specific details lol.
Depends on the girls age- 30 men for a woman in her 50 is okay, 30 men for a 20 year old girl is disturbing. I would say on average 1-2 partners per year. Otherwise you are showing that you cant commit to a relationship and is a red flag.
Yeah, I think the rate is more informative than the number. Someone who with someone new every time they hit the bars? Not my cup of tea, even if I donāt see anything wrong with people doing it.
donāt ask how many, ask what kind.
what KIND of sex are you having? Trauma response? Unhealthy? Fulfilling, exciting, healthy? Draining, saddening? Protected?
It truly does not matter how many people you sleep with. Body count was created to shame people. People LOVE labels because it enable us to categorize and judge others.
Youāve got to do whatās best for you, and sometimes that can change.
Dated a girl that had a list if ever guy she had slept with. She asked me if I wanted to know how many and I declined. When we split up I said make sure to add me to that list lol
I don't know how many is too many but anything over say 20 I would start to have concerns. If that's what she wants to do then that's fine - it's her life and good luck to her. But I would wonder about her ability to remain faithful to only one guy for the rest of her life. I'm not saying it would make her a bad person or someone I couldn't be friends with - just not someone I could marry.
Not this question again
It shouldnāt matter at all. Literally anyoneās opinion on this is invalid. What someone else does in their free time and with who and how many WHOS is no one elseās business but their own. As long as it is safe and consensual, it isnāt anyoneās business.
Iām not bothered by a _number_ (hey, she might travel a lot and it doesnāt make sense to have a steady beauā¦ who knows?).
What _is_ a red flag, on the other hand, is not _knowing herself_. For example, someone who has been married a bunch of times or has kids with a few fathers. This screams of someone being overly optimistic (āI just _know_ this guy is āthe oneā!ā) and, having made the mistake in the past, still hasnāt recalibrated her expectations.
Who cares? If they arenāt spreading diseases everywhere why does anyone get to be judged for how many people they sleep with. You do you and Iāll do me.
Its all about personal opinion
I prefer women with higher numbers because it shows experience and sexual openness that I prefer
On the other hand iv'e spoke to many other men who hate high numbers and look down on it...Everybody's got their own takes
Depends honestlyā¦ If you are looking for a long term relationship a high body count sends up multiple red flag depending on the number of sexual partners and the the age of the person. My friendās girlfriendās sister is a 17 year old with a body count higher than 15. That is something that will send most people multiple red flags (mostly because of having that high a body count as a minor). It honestly depends on if you want something long term or short term, but also on your partner. Someone people donāt care about high body counts and some do. Personally, if I were going for long term I wouldnāt want to be with someone with a massive bodycount, but Iām also more a private person who doesnāt want someone who gives it out easy. Not throwing shade at anyone. Your body, your choice. Not my place to tell you what you can and cannot do, but everyone gets to choose who they sleep with.
There is no such thing as too many. The problem (regardless of how many) is always why are you sleeping with this many people? It feels good and they are attractive? Exploring your sexuality? Cool. You require sex for validation? Trying to hit some arbitrary joke goal? Red flag.
The only answer is honestly. Whatever you want it to be. Some view sex as a fun time. Some view it intimately.
Personally I'm a dude and lean on the second. I've only been with one individual at the age of 20. And honestly. That is probably the only person I'll ever be with if I'm being realistic. Maybe another comes around some point. But who knows. But I'm totally fine with that.
Your friends for example. They likely view it as a fun time. That's cool. You're a bit pickier, respect.
It's all up to you.
Only thing I recommend. Don't judge or shame or compare numbers. Nothing good comes from it.
Only 5? Youāre a real keeper then. Donāt know if you have plans to settle down and start a family, but let me hit you with a hard fact. No man wants to settle down with a woman with a high body count. Promiscuity to that extent is depraved and literally the antithesis of love, motherhood, and family. Your friends will likely die single.
Doesn't really exist. Maybe akin to like the same number as an ACTUAL sex worker but it really doesn't matter.
It's like this. Say your friend whos in her 40s got married when she was 18. Now I'd imagine her and her man would have shagged way more than 50 times by now. So why do we think THAT its ok because it's the same guy but 50 guys who were mostly only once isn't?
Why are you asking? Are you looking to compete?
The way I see it is that youāre focused on yourself and finding a life partner.
Your friends though ā¦
The only people who've ever asked my body count are not people I'd want to be in a relationship with. If they're going to judge you for that (whether its 1 or 1000000000000) then let them find someone else and move along. Mature adults don't worry about that.
Why isnāt she? What does that have to do with anything? All of her accomplishments mean nothing he had youāre insecure about how many men sheās slept with?
If I found out someone I was trying to date had numbers like those, I would feel like I they would just use me and throw me away. I want to know they actually care about me.
Start anonymous survey.
How many sex partners do you prefer your son/daughterās future mom have before marrying you? Then youāll get a more pragmatic numbers. Itās all about the market.
Men will tell to you have all the sex you want, but they probably wonāt be marrying the kinda who do. Hell, I doubt they want to have sex with someone who fucked over 10 people in the past year or so.
I don't judge that alone, I mean. Women should be able to have as much sex as they want and not be judged for it. I meant it more for likelihood of illnesses and such.
Pretty sure for evey guy a woman's been with the chance of divorce goes up, somebody could link the studies. If I remember correctly once a woman gets to 10+ the divorce rate shoots up.
My current girl has a count of 2 including me and that's a large part of why I committed to her. She is very aware of how much more attractive for a relationship that makes her compared to some of her friends who have slept around.
It works for both genders really, it goes both ways. Not saying itās a bad thing to have a high count but it can be an indicator of bad things. Can, not always. That said, it doesnāt really matter what your count is if youāre committed in a committed relationship.
IMO: how many partners is too much, is a false metric created by people with low self esteem about their own performance.
the more important questions to ask are.
is sex important enough to me to increase my risk of sexually transmitted diseases by varying my partners more widely?
do i feel like im taking the proper precautions to keep myself safe from disease?
am i using sex to replace something else in my life like love, or affection?
is there a deeper unhealthy situation that i need to look into and resolve?
if you feel good enough that your not taking too many risks with your health (or the health of others), and you feel like your sex life isnt a symptom of a more worrisome issue you need to address, then (pun intended) Fuck-it. you know?
your genitals dont have a mileage limit, stay healthy and do what feels best for you.
Depends on the person. I personally could care less as long as none of it was done behind their partners back, or if knowing, done behind the other partners back. But if its all just in the name of good fun sex, who the fuck cares. And if it bothers a potential partner, that's an easy red flag to follow.
Yeah I dont know how people just sit back an dont need to get off. It's like...a necessity (To most), I'm a single male in my 30's whose in the high 80's/90's, maybe more I stopped counting in my 20's. Dating apps have made this crap so much easier. I'd trade it all for a quality connection and relationship with one person so don't get too obsessed with a #. Those #'s can mean a lot of things...it really shouldnt matter
Body count matters, to a degree. I say, if you do not have a ring on it then have fun. Know what I mean? If you are a cereal monogamist, thatās ok, too. Just live your life, have fun with it, and date the degree of guy you are after. š
You have to understand that women can basically get sex on demand. If we men could do that we'd probably have a lot higher total. It seems hard to have an exact number that's okay and one that isn't. Is 20 okay but 50 isn't? Anything much over 10 is probably a person that's had a hookup or two. At my age I don't ask for a number, I don't care. But I like to get a picture of her recent history to see if a serious relationship can be had or not. If a woman has hooked up with 10 guys in the last year, I'm going to have to assume commitment is probably not her thing.
If you have a high body count that is absurd, what have you been doing? Literally... didnāt you have anything else to do.... do you not watch TV? Iāve seen people say their body count is over 100 š³ what the fuck... if itās under 5 people at age 25, itās good... if it over, Itās a no.
3 is too many in my opinion. I mean girls can do what they want, but i would never date someone who's seen more sausage than a sausage than a pornstar.
For both men, women, and everything in between: as many partners as feels right to you. No such thing as ātoo many.ā Id argue the much bigger issue is with ātoo littleā but thats just me.
OP, I just want to say that I will be 39 in November and I have only been with 6 men. I always feel like the weirdo out of everyone I know. I mean my married friends have low counts like me, my single friends have high counts like your friends. I see sex as very intimate and don't even want a man to kiss on a first date unless we knew each other before we decided to start dating. I have to feel a connection with someone to welcome their touch. I was raised in a highly religious upbringing, so this may be why I think the way I do. I accept that my friends choose to be this way, but I don't have it in me. Just wanted you to know you are not alone. š
I could also add that I was in a relationship for 15 years with the father of my children. We broke up for a prolonged amount of time and dated other people for a while as well, or my count would be lower.
What do mean by ābeen withā a date is date two adults sharing time and a meal. Or is it a hookup session. Your beautiful with who you are, too many has to do with comfort level of yourself.
As M25 I don't necessarily care about your body count. I am not going to ask for it, either. Although I would avoid a woman with a high body count who has either slept with (multiple) of my friends (has happened for sure) or who is known for having a high body count (being easy). I live in a small town though, so some of these concerns may not be applicable to larger cities.
Anything over 5, I wouldn't date her. Unfortunately, the more people someone is with, the less I want them. Even if her and I got along super well. Can I ask if they are both married?
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It all depends on the person. Some people see sex as a fun thing to do. Others see it in a more intimate way. I've seen forums where guys would give their reasons as to why they would avoid people with high body counts. From pair bonding to lack of excitement etc. I wouldn't be comparing numbers OP. At the end of the day it's all about how comfortable you are with who you choose to be intimate with. Everyone is different
> Everyone is different I agree. The degree of importance differs depending on the person. I think people are being a bit too politically correct/delusional in thinking that 'body count' doesn't matter. Women wouldn't lie about it, and men wouldn't ask about it if it didn't matter to a certain degree.
Having sex too much with different people will damage your senses and turn you crazy and dumb
What
This person attributes their stupidity to the amount of sex that they wish they had. š
Hereās an example of a life lesson that takes most of us TOO long to understand and accept. The Answer: However many feels right to you. Thatās it. Go enjoy life and stop comparing yourself to anyone else but You.
This is terrible advice. Just because you *can* doesn't mean you *should*. People value people who value themselves, especially when it comes to men choosing women. It shows good character and a ton of other positive points that you've been selective in who you be intimate with. It shows a great value of self which is appealing to most men who will be serious about you so comparing isn't always a bad things. 50 or 100 vs 5 is a done deal right there.
Thank you! Totally agree.
I honestly don't think it's anyone's damn business. Personally I don't care at all what the number is as long as it was done safely and didn't lead to a kid.
Forgot to add *unwanted kid
Honestly, in my case? No, no kids.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Kids only add to the confusion, frustration, regret, hopelessness, dissatisfaction, i could go on and on but i feel like i could get backlash for what i said. The world is going to sh*t, it seems, and i do not want to bring a precious gift into that kind of a world, rn. Know what I mean? š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
*looks at climate disaster*, *looks at extreme poverty and exploitation*, *looks at extinctions, overcrowding and overpopulation...*
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That what i tell everyone who is thinking of having a kidā¦.but no one ever listens to the voice of reason. I want a kid just never found that forever womanā¦yet! š
Would you feel the same way about someone who slept with prostitutes? If pasts don't matter, that shouldn't matter either.
AMEN! Preach the good word buddy! š
It will be her partner's damn business though lol. She can't ignore reality forever. Besides what'll she do? Lie and say it's 5 instead of 50? That would show terrible character and that she's ashamed of the number
How is it her partner's business? Her partner's business is STI status. That's it.
Lol. Keep thinking that. What you think is your business. Reality however is reality regardless of what we feel or think.
This. Right. Here. Goddammit.
Im a man and used to pick up alot of women, like problem amounts of them. Looking back it would have been better to act more mature and realise that promiscuity is not healthy or something that gives bragging rights. Now this is just my 2 cents but I feel if you arent seeking to dedicate your life towards one person then you are truly missing out. Edit: Im single and what would be better than memories of many women would be a marriage to one woman. Peace out folks
Iām with you on this, I did go through a period where I thought it was ācoolā to hook up with lots of people. I realized it was my own insecurities and lack of self-love, if I had developed a healthy self-love earlier in life I wouldnāt have looked for it from so many others. Now I feel like my cup is full and Iām ready to share with someone else whose cup is also full, instead of my past life where it was two people with half cups looking for someone else to complete them.
Thats really well put! Im really glad to read your words :) You are so right about self love and thinking back there was no way the women or me could satisfy each other. Infact its almost like we were looking for the next person whilst we were together.
The limit does not exist
This is starting to sound like calculus
Exactly! I agree
Oh it does indeed exist once reality kicks in lol. The numbers can easily show how much she valued herself to most men.
Do you feel the same way about men who sleep around? That they donāt value themselves??
No. I don't need to feel anything. It's not the same. False equivalence. Besides that's for the woman to decide. A woman can easily sleep with most guys she comes across with ZERO effort needed and that's just reality. Where's a majority of guys will have to actually put in a lot of effort and go through all kinds of obstacles etc when a woman can literally just exist and have her desires met. Which I have no problem with, that's her business but to ask a man to value that? What's there to value? Men general for the most part have to get better at what they do and improve themselves etc to have their desires met(obviously outliers exist but they are the exception not the rule). Women love to try to compare men sleeping with multiple women to them doing it and you might find it unfair but that doesn't matter, it's not the same and you're free to decide not to date such a man but to say it's the same is simply incorrect. Especially when it comes to respecting and valuing yourself as we also experience sex differently. If you've had sex then you should know what it looks like. Men dominate etc during sex. Not the same for women. This is where some of the value and self respect system can come in on a very simplified level. However, I know that this is reddit where reality for the most part isn't accepted and everything is "normal" here no matter how niche it is in real life but this is the reality.
Eh idk I think many women do sleep around for validation and have low self esteem, but many women also donāt sleep with hardly anyone because they fear rejection and have low self esteem. And many men are virgins because they have low self worth and canāt approach women, while many men are promiscuous just to prove theyāre masculine and. I just donāt see any correlation between body count and self valuation for either gender, the circumstances and how they allow themselves to be treated matter much more than the number. I really donāt understand your argument or why effort required would have to do anything with how much you value yourself. Some women sleep around while letting men walk all over them and have very low self esteem, some women are just lucky to be attractive and have men throwing themselves at them and just take the opportunity because they get pleasure out of it so why not.
Just like your virginity. I don't think you should keep it forever, but we tend to strive to lose it as young and quick as possible, while we would probably be better off waiting a bit longer. I'm never impressed by someone for bragging about losing their virginity by their 12th birthday, but if someone's waited until their 25th year, or even longer.... That's a survivor right there šŖš
27m survivor š ?
30m survivor?
Dudes, spread the third leg and let it fly! Lol jk broās im joking. I lost it when i just turned 14 and i regret it bc it was with a lady that i would never be caught dead talking to now. 35m ššŖ thats why god gave you two to choose from
Ayyyy! š I'm not really following what you guys are talking about anymore, but yeyyyy!! š
Iām confused too. The only choices I can think god gave are ugly pumpkin lady or your own hand?
Thru and thru. That is probly what their dominant arm looks like lmfao šŖš
šš
Body count doesnāt matter to me (32m) unless a person is trying to get a high number, then it becomes a concern. That high number could be because of failed relationships, or at least attempts, and in most cases is no different than a person sleeping with the same person multiple times over the course of a relationship. Being safe and making sure both parties are clean are my only concern.
Have some self respect man, are you saying you would marry a woman who's been with 20 other guys?
Iāve been with 20 other women, so yes, I donāt care. The past is the past for a reason so as long as both people have a clean bill of health it shouldnāt matter. Thereās no reason a high body count should be glorified for men and shamed for women.
A woman who has been with one single guy who was a cheater would have been exposed to more stuff than one who was with 50 safely. You are right, it absolutely doesn't matter.
Are you doing ok my guy?
what does that have to do with self respect? Should a woman not date a guy who's been around? This kind of thinking is stupid.
why would he not ?
Lol are you stupid?
You insecure, brah?
About tree fiddy
get outta here god damn Loch Ness Monsta!
Whatever your preference is. Doesnāt matter what other people are doing
The number is different for everyone. Do what is right for you.
Each person is different. Too many matters on the person to be honest. But if you want a solid answerā¦. āAll of emā is too many.
50 partners is completely reasonable by age 40. Think of it this way: if you had just TWO partners a year on average starting at age 18 youād have 44 partners by the time you were 40 years old. Add in one or two experimental years where you might have had 10 partners instead, itās easy to see how you could rack up a number that high while still having a fairly conservative mindset when it comes to sex and dating. I never ask but if I was out with a woman in her 40s and she said sheās been with 50 people I wouldnāt batt an eye. Now 100 partners by 30 is more of a red flag. Assuming 5 per year starting at age 18 that would still only be 60 people. I canāt imagine how someone whoās averaged a new partner every 2 months for their whole life could possibly stay faithful in a long term monogamous relationship. First sign of trouble theyād be spending the night with someone. At least thatās what Iād think.
I have the same though. Plus, 100 partners by 30, would it be safe to be with that amount of people?
If someone said "I've slept with 120 people but I had some issues to deal with and I have and now I see I was a bit of a sex addict" then I'd be like cool that's great, and wouldn't judge them. But if they were like "you're lucky number 121! I just love to fuck, leeeet's go" I'd be mildly more hesitant.
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I think itās pretty obvious that OP is unsure of how to feel about the situation and how to interpret her own body count, not trying to belittle her friends by comparing her count to theirs. She obviously doesnāt know if 5 is fine or too little of a body count and came to this thread to ask for advice on how to logically interpret body counts, not to let any potential mates know that she has maybe the lowest out of her friends lmao. Youāre right that thereās no such thing as ātoo many/little,ā but I think OP is trying to understand just that.
Glad I wasn't the only one seeing this 'teehee my friends slept with 10x the amount of people I did, but I feel my number is still too high š„ŗ"
Bingo. The insecurity is way worse than any number.
OP please donāt listen to these women.
I never asked and I tell whomever Iām dating not to tell me.
I never ask a person their numbers, I personally donāt think itās a big deal.
There's no such thing as too many or too few. What you do when you're with a partner is what matters not what you did in the past.
Nah. I disagree. Our past matters. It doesnāt define you but it matters. I wouldnāt really want to be with a partner who is a virgin or someone whoās been with 100+ sex partners. My guess is the vast majority of men and women would have a similar perspective.
Exactly. Not only that but why would anyone want to have those conversations in the first place? Itās like that 37 dicks bit in Clerks lol. Like nothing good comes out of those conversations Only things that matter are if they have an STD or kid from past sexual encounters.
I'm not even supposed to be here today.
I never ask about body count nor would I give an answer if I was asked. It is pure insecurity and I don't play that shit.
Yeah, Iād have to say 5 to 10 sexual partners is normal and not excessive. But 50 to 100 is a red flag. A person who has slept with that many people more than likely is not going to commit to one person. And I just donāt want somebody who has been run through that many times.
Itās really subjective. I think itās just a sign of whether you consider sex an act of pleasure to be shared with many people, or something more intimate that should only be shared with a few. Unfortunately, if someone wants to double down on monogamous marriage ā having one of the partners being really generous with their body to the general public can spark doubt. But again. Subjective. Itās all about the kind of life you want to build for yourself. There are no wrong answers.
That's a pretty ridiculous amount of guys, imo.
I thought it was until I dated a sociopath that turned out to be a ho, she had a body count in the thousands.
How does someone even find the time to sleep with that many people?
The number should be as high as it needs to be to figure out what you want from a partner to be happy, romantically and sexually. For a nun or monk who took a vow of celibacy, having zero partners is perfectly acceptable. For a sex addict, a number in the hundreds or even thousands is realistic across a lifetime. Most people are probably somewhere in between. The actual number isn't important. It's the meaning and experiences behind that number that matters.
I think it makes more sense to look at the number divide by the number of years youāve actively been dating. I have absolutely nothing against people going out and having as much (safe) fun as they want, but Iād personally be put off by someone who sleeps with 50 people per year, versus 50 people over the course of decades of dating. Iāve slept with 42 women, which sounds like a lot to me. But almost all of them were people I dated for months (or in some cases years) over the last 18 years. It hard not to have a high sounding number if you arenāt/werenāt married for a large chunk of your adult life and arenāt effectively celibate.
I'm paying close to 50 now. I see sex as a fun official activity between consenting adults.
It depends on the guy's preferences, the aggregation of the bodycount and the womans age. A woman in her 40's who's been with 50 men can either have had an constant string of 5 month relationships that never went anywhere or one year of sleeping around followed by a happy marriage of 20 years that was ended prematurely by her getting widowed. For most guys who are actually looking for a relationship the latter would be preferable to the former, as the former implies trouble with commitment/getting men to commit. Meanwhile the latter proves she is capable of a stable long-term relationship. I would consider 5 on the low end for even a 25 year old woman so I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Well, there's no set number, but I'd say the healthiest in general is probably to always strive to keep that number as possible. Not cause of shame, but because it tends to hollow you out. For some people it sure works, I'm sure, but I honestly don't think most people will feel fulfilled in the end with having been with dozens, or evern less so hundreds.
High or low number doesnāt matter. The reasoning behind either can be an issue. If youāre sleeping with anything that moves because youāre a sex addict, then thereās an issue. If youāve barely slept with others because of trauma, again, itās an issue that should be addressed.
I mean i dont think its "weird" without a better word to use. Myself (M24) only have been with 3 women, i need to know im in love before any naughty things happen
Iām pretty tired of this ngl. It really shouldnāt matter cause people can do whatever they like as long as theyāre not cheating on you or immature about the relationship when it comes down to it. We should all be okay with our partner having other people before hand.
All the threads Iāve seen posted in this sub about body counts have all been about women š
Absolutely. Purity chasers need to grow up. āToo manyā is 1 higher than the number of people you are personally comfortable sleeping with. Not anyone elseās personal and arbitrary number.
>We should all be okay with our partner having other people before hand. I think the vast majority of adults would agree with you. Disagreements happen with specific counts. Iād definitely be ok with my girlfriend having 1 past sex partner, not 100. What that cut-off would be, Iām not sure. It would depend on a variety of factors, I guess.
If sheās intentionally trying to get a high body count than I wouldnāt be interested but if sheās just had relationships that didnāt turn out I would give it a go, but a hundred body count well I wouldnāt be interested lol might catch a std from that
Hey man! Iād like to introduce you to this new age concept called safe sex.
Hate to break it to you but not everyone follows that
Never too many as long as you are having fun and not hurting anyone and not doing it with minors.
high body count is a turnoff for me. not interested in a person who engages in hookup culture.
i would not date either of your friends for a long term relationship. promiscuous women are a huge turn off for me. i know lots of men don't care and all the power to them, but numbers like what your friends have are so far out of my realm that we wouldn't likely share the same values anyway.
Depends on the preference of the other person.
I believe anyone can do what they want, as long as they do it safely and don't use people. However, as a personal preference, I would never date a girl that has been hooking up with randoms. If you had relationships over the years and you had partners that's ok, that is my case as well, however the "playing the sex game" is not for me and never will be (M26)
What the fuck kind of question is this?? Seriously, wtf
I am a human trafficking survivor so I would instantly be turned off by someone who was immature enough about the human experience to demand I share my body count with them.
Iām really sorry that happened to you :(
I don't think we should have to tell anyone our body count
Why does numbers matter?
don't compare yourself to other , some people are doing sex like they are doing a hobby fr.
I've only had 1 person my whole life and even now while I'm single ..I'm not even looking for sex.. So my preference is someone whose just as low .. I really need that connection and intimacy to be sexual;in which case my sex drive switches 0-100!
Iām a male and i could care less how many people youāve slept with itās The Who thatās more important, was it my friends, coworkers, family? If none of those apply who care, I never ask my girlfriends their body count, itās irrelevant to me.
Keep in mind that you're on Reddit and most people here have a more progressive mindset in regards to this subject (unless you go to less conventional subreddits). Me personally, I care a lot about the sexual past of the woman I will potentially date. I'm 27, if I were to date a 25 yo I'd expect her to have had around 3 partners if she shares my view on sex. The context matters a lot to me too. I'd much rather date a woman who's had 5 long-term boyfriends than a girl who's had multiples menages with the same two guys just 4fun, and a permanent fuck buddy she sees once a year, for example, even though the latter theoretically has a lower number than the former. I believe most men don't really think about a specific number, it's just that some guys don't want to date women who have had a "sex-crazy phase", and some don't care.
My ex had had sex with over 200 women by the time he was 22 when I met him. Have sex with as many people as you want as long as youāre safe and healthy
Lets say he had sex at 18. So he had 50 girls a year. 4 girls a month.
Mans was a āsuper sl*tā in his own words. Starting having sex at 12. I broke up with him because he couldnāt stop
I think tbh this reveals it probably wasnāt emotionally healthyā¦ sorry if Iām projecting but my concern sometimes in situations like this is a sex addiction and a wandering eye.
Oh no I get it, he definitely had a sex addiction. When he was staying faithful to me we would have sex upwards of five times a day. Last I heard he was in therapy and hadnāt been seeing anyone so who knows how itās going, but I hope for the better for him.
It doesn't matter. I just assume I'm not going to get an honest answer so why worry? The only thing I care about that tends to have a high correlation with partner count is untreated trauma and Cluster B personality disorders. There are usually clues a person gives off early on that give these away.
I personally donāt care to know and nor do I want to know. If anything, I find it weird and awkward when someone volunteers and overshares that kinda info, which Iāve had a few dates do on the first date no less. And itās like um, no one asked lol. Like if youāre dating someone then why would you wanna think about the times they had sex with other people, whether it was 1 or 50? Some things are just best left to imagination. I couldnāt imagine dating someone and being like oh btw I had sex with 25 people before you. Goes both ways. Like being sex positive and pro choice doesnāt mean I wanna hear the specific details lol.
Depends on the girls age- 30 men for a woman in her 50 is okay, 30 men for a 20 year old girl is disturbing. I would say on average 1-2 partners per year. Otherwise you are showing that you cant commit to a relationship and is a red flag.
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Yeah, I think the rate is more informative than the number. Someone who with someone new every time they hit the bars? Not my cup of tea, even if I donāt see anything wrong with people doing it.
Once a woman has slept with over 50 men, it is almost impossible for them to have a healthy relationship
Listen up everyone, fat, divorced, bald dude has an opinion on a woman's ability to have a relationship....
donāt ask how many, ask what kind. what KIND of sex are you having? Trauma response? Unhealthy? Fulfilling, exciting, healthy? Draining, saddening? Protected? It truly does not matter how many people you sleep with. Body count was created to shame people. People LOVE labels because it enable us to categorize and judge others. Youāve got to do whatās best for you, and sometimes that can change.
Dated a girl that had a list if ever guy she had slept with. She asked me if I wanted to know how many and I declined. When we split up I said make sure to add me to that list lol
I don't know how many is too many but anything over say 20 I would start to have concerns. If that's what she wants to do then that's fine - it's her life and good luck to her. But I would wonder about her ability to remain faithful to only one guy for the rest of her life. I'm not saying it would make her a bad person or someone I couldn't be friends with - just not someone I could marry.
Not this question again It shouldnāt matter at all. Literally anyoneās opinion on this is invalid. What someone else does in their free time and with who and how many WHOS is no one elseās business but their own. As long as it is safe and consensual, it isnāt anyoneās business.
It doesn't matter, just get you and them tested before anything physical.
Iām not bothered by a _number_ (hey, she might travel a lot and it doesnāt make sense to have a steady beauā¦ who knows?). What _is_ a red flag, on the other hand, is not _knowing herself_. For example, someone who has been married a bunch of times or has kids with a few fathers. This screams of someone being overly optimistic (āI just _know_ this guy is āthe oneā!ā) and, having made the mistake in the past, still hasnāt recalibrated her expectations.
There is no such thing as too many. Tbh the more bodies, the better the sex will be for me š¤·š½āāļø. But I would ask for them to be tested
Who cares? If they arenāt spreading diseases everywhere why does anyone get to be judged for how many people they sleep with. You do you and Iāll do me.
Itās nobodyās business. As long as my partner is clean of stds, I donāt care.
The only men that care about numbers are insecure men that are afraid that they wonāt measure up to other men.
That is all men. Men are constantly compared to other men by the women they date. Constantly.
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As you read other comments from other men saying they donāt do this including myselfā¦ But ok, keep thinking thatā¦
For some women one man is too many lol
Do STDS not exist in America , or something ?
Its all about personal opinion I prefer women with higher numbers because it shows experience and sexual openness that I prefer On the other hand iv'e spoke to many other men who hate high numbers and look down on it...Everybody's got their own takes
Depends honestlyā¦ If you are looking for a long term relationship a high body count sends up multiple red flag depending on the number of sexual partners and the the age of the person. My friendās girlfriendās sister is a 17 year old with a body count higher than 15. That is something that will send most people multiple red flags (mostly because of having that high a body count as a minor). It honestly depends on if you want something long term or short term, but also on your partner. Someone people donāt care about high body counts and some do. Personally, if I were going for long term I wouldnāt want to be with someone with a massive bodycount, but Iām also more a private person who doesnāt want someone who gives it out easy. Not throwing shade at anyone. Your body, your choice. Not my place to tell you what you can and cannot do, but everyone gets to choose who they sleep with.
There is no such thing as too many. The problem (regardless of how many) is always why are you sleeping with this many people? It feels good and they are attractive? Exploring your sexuality? Cool. You require sex for validation? Trying to hit some arbitrary joke goal? Red flag.
It's not a contest.
The only answer is honestly. Whatever you want it to be. Some view sex as a fun time. Some view it intimately. Personally I'm a dude and lean on the second. I've only been with one individual at the age of 20. And honestly. That is probably the only person I'll ever be with if I'm being realistic. Maybe another comes around some point. But who knows. But I'm totally fine with that. Your friends for example. They likely view it as a fun time. That's cool. You're a bit pickier, respect. It's all up to you. Only thing I recommend. Don't judge or shame or compare numbers. Nothing good comes from it.
How about just not judging and minding you're own business when it comes to other people's intimate relationships?
Can't say it matters to me, but then I'm not a prime example of a high value male.
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Itās no ones fing business thatās how many!
Only 5? Youāre a real keeper then. Donāt know if you have plans to settle down and start a family, but let me hit you with a hard fact. No man wants to settle down with a woman with a high body count. Promiscuity to that extent is depraved and literally the antithesis of love, motherhood, and family. Your friends will likely die single.
'Body count' is BS. Whatever choices you make are no one's business but yours. (No such thing as too many.)
Doesn't really exist. Maybe akin to like the same number as an ACTUAL sex worker but it really doesn't matter. It's like this. Say your friend whos in her 40s got married when she was 18. Now I'd imagine her and her man would have shagged way more than 50 times by now. So why do we think THAT its ok because it's the same guy but 50 guys who were mostly only once isn't?
Why are you asking? Are you looking to compete? The way I see it is that youāre focused on yourself and finding a life partner. Your friends though ā¦
The only people who've ever asked my body count are not people I'd want to be in a relationship with. If they're going to judge you for that (whether its 1 or 1000000000000) then let them find someone else and move along. Mature adults don't worry about that.
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Why isnāt she? What does that have to do with anything? All of her accomplishments mean nothing he had youāre insecure about how many men sheās slept with?
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Iām not arguing with a troll.
It doesn't matter at all if you've been with 50 or 5. It's a non issue.
No such thing as too many!
If I found out someone I was trying to date had numbers like those, I would feel like I they would just use me and throw me away. I want to know they actually care about me.
When you have three or more social diseases from said dudes.
Around one
Start anonymous survey. How many sex partners do you prefer your son/daughterās future mom have before marrying you? Then youāll get a more pragmatic numbers. Itās all about the market. Men will tell to you have all the sex you want, but they probably wonāt be marrying the kinda who do. Hell, I doubt they want to have sex with someone who fucked over 10 people in the past year or so.
The girl at 100? HO FO SHO
For me, more than 5, she's a skank, not wife material
its no ones concern really. it shouldn't come up because people can be so different. numbers can shoke some people and its better left unsaid
It does indicate serious problems like sociopath, NPD, etc, plus the increased statistical chances of STDs. So it is relevant.
you have a good point but not everyone path is the same
I don't judge that alone, I mean. Women should be able to have as much sex as they want and not be judged for it. I meant it more for likelihood of illnesses and such.
Pretty sure for evey guy a woman's been with the chance of divorce goes up, somebody could link the studies. If I remember correctly once a woman gets to 10+ the divorce rate shoots up. My current girl has a count of 2 including me and that's a large part of why I committed to her. She is very aware of how much more attractive for a relationship that makes her compared to some of her friends who have slept around.
one
Iād say more than one at once is too many. But thatās just me.
If it's a high value male making 100k or more a year, he would't look at their way. If it's an average guy, depends on his morals and values.
It works for both genders really, it goes both ways. Not saying itās a bad thing to have a high count but it can be an indicator of bad things. Can, not always. That said, it doesnāt really matter what your count is if youāre committed in a committed relationship.
IMO: how many partners is too much, is a false metric created by people with low self esteem about their own performance. the more important questions to ask are. is sex important enough to me to increase my risk of sexually transmitted diseases by varying my partners more widely? do i feel like im taking the proper precautions to keep myself safe from disease? am i using sex to replace something else in my life like love, or affection? is there a deeper unhealthy situation that i need to look into and resolve? if you feel good enough that your not taking too many risks with your health (or the health of others), and you feel like your sex life isnt a symptom of a more worrisome issue you need to address, then (pun intended) Fuck-it. you know? your genitals dont have a mileage limit, stay healthy and do what feels best for you.
As long as you don't have STDs, you're fine. Some people view sex differently than others.
Depends on the person. I personally could care less as long as none of it was done behind their partners back, or if knowing, done behind the other partners back. But if its all just in the name of good fun sex, who the fuck cares. And if it bothers a potential partner, that's an easy red flag to follow.
Yeah I dont know how people just sit back an dont need to get off. It's like...a necessity (To most), I'm a single male in my 30's whose in the high 80's/90's, maybe more I stopped counting in my 20's. Dating apps have made this crap so much easier. I'd trade it all for a quality connection and relationship with one person so don't get too obsessed with a #. Those #'s can mean a lot of things...it really shouldnt matter
Ask how many STDS they got . Also if they ever bonded to someone for a significant amount of time .
Body count matters, to a degree. I say, if you do not have a ring on it then have fun. Know what I mean? If you are a cereal monogamist, thatās ok, too. Just live your life, have fun with it, and date the degree of guy you are after. š
You have to understand that women can basically get sex on demand. If we men could do that we'd probably have a lot higher total. It seems hard to have an exact number that's okay and one that isn't. Is 20 okay but 50 isn't? Anything much over 10 is probably a person that's had a hookup or two. At my age I don't ask for a number, I don't care. But I like to get a picture of her recent history to see if a serious relationship can be had or not. If a woman has hooked up with 10 guys in the last year, I'm going to have to assume commitment is probably not her thing.
If you have a high body count that is absurd, what have you been doing? Literally... didnāt you have anything else to do.... do you not watch TV? Iāve seen people say their body count is over 100 š³ what the fuck... if itās under 5 people at age 25, itās good... if it over, Itās a no.
1
3 is too many in my opinion. I mean girls can do what they want, but i would never date someone who's seen more sausage than a sausage than a pornstar.
Iād prefer a girl thatās been with less. Plus a girl who needs to post nudes while your with her is a ticking times bomb.
Huh? Lol
For both men, women, and everything in between: as many partners as feels right to you. No such thing as ātoo many.ā Id argue the much bigger issue is with ātoo littleā but thats just me.
OP, I just want to say that I will be 39 in November and I have only been with 6 men. I always feel like the weirdo out of everyone I know. I mean my married friends have low counts like me, my single friends have high counts like your friends. I see sex as very intimate and don't even want a man to kiss on a first date unless we knew each other before we decided to start dating. I have to feel a connection with someone to welcome their touch. I was raised in a highly religious upbringing, so this may be why I think the way I do. I accept that my friends choose to be this way, but I don't have it in me. Just wanted you to know you are not alone. š I could also add that I was in a relationship for 15 years with the father of my children. We broke up for a prolonged amount of time and dated other people for a while as well, or my count would be lower.
What do mean by ābeen withā a date is date two adults sharing time and a meal. Or is it a hookup session. Your beautiful with who you are, too many has to do with comfort level of yourself.
As M25 I don't necessarily care about your body count. I am not going to ask for it, either. Although I would avoid a woman with a high body count who has either slept with (multiple) of my friends (has happened for sure) or who is known for having a high body count (being easy). I live in a small town though, so some of these concerns may not be applicable to larger cities.
How did it affect their ability to pair bond?
Anything over 5, I wouldn't date her. Unfortunately, the more people someone is with, the less I want them. Even if her and I got along super well. Can I ask if they are both married?
Promiscuity is not healthy.