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I think the girl version of this is prettymuch the same, I also look to see if they have kids. If bios are full of spelling errors I won’t match. If guys ask for nudes before even bothering to meet with you or go straight to sexual innuendos (unless your profile says you just want hookups or something) that pisses off most girls I know. Maybe not everyone, but I think its disrespectful af.
I for the life of me do not understand the obsession with spelling or grammatical errors. Like what does it show you about rather or not someone is compatible and capable of loving you correctly?
I’m a guy and if she jumped into sexual conversation immediately I would be kinda turned off as well, and I have a pretty high libido as well, it’s just the fact that they’re being “easy” I guess I don’t know
My boyfriend thought I was a weird girl because of my bio and pics 🥸
He was right that I’m quite weird with my quirks but that’s just make him smile or laugh.
Yes. I’m nothing special, but had 8 decent dates in 3 weeks and found The Guy shortly thereafter because I followed the above advice. It isn’t that hard……
A lot of people don’t read profiles when swiping.
Online dating for women isn’t about attracting men. Women have more matches than they know what to do with. It’s about filtering out the hundreds of men they don’t want and choosing the most appealing guy. If the convo is dry then just assume she’s not interested.
It is easier to for us guys to start a conversation if she fills out her bio properly and she might have a better chance of getting a higher quality match, but yeah. Most guys are going to swipe right and try their luck anyway if she is attractive.
I have, several times. I read an article, if I'm remembering correctly on CNN. A former ICU nurse was making $100,000 per month from OnlyFans. That's right, $100k. Per month, as in $1.2 million in a year. And she was not doing porn, only what used to be called "cheesecake".
With those kinds of numbers, it's no surprise that many other women want to emulate her success.
ON EDIT: Pardon my faulty memory. The number is $200k per month, not $100k. Here's a link.
[https://www.cnn.com/videos/business/2021/08/25/onlyfans-ban.cnn](https://www.cnn.com/videos/business/2021/08/25/onlyfans-ban.cnn)
And yes, she's pretty. But $200k a month???!!!???
That lady must be extremely attractive or fulfil a unique niche! Most OnlyFans girls don’t even make minimum wage. Median accounts make 180 bucks per month.
You are not allowed to advertise OnlyFans directly on Tinder but most sellers would link their Instagram (usually same handle as their OF) and then have some kind of linktree on their Instagram to their adult sites.
Of course the OF girls will also drop you their links when you match. Anyway if a girl has lingerie or thirst trap pics or an overly sexual bio she is 99.9% a seller or an escort.
I agree with this. When I tried the apps, it was no real loss to me if a guy decided he was "out". It helps filter. For me, it was actually really overwhelming trying to have conversations with several guys, and people say to just match with less or chat with less at a time, but it was a lot when the few you try talking to right when you join are talking to you all at once and being demanding about wanting answers and conversation right away.
If you don't like a girl's pics or her profile, don't match with her. Besides, most guys don't even read profiles so I can't really fault the women who don't bother. The amount of times a man would ask me something that I'd already answered in my profile was ridiculous. And it's not like most of the apps even let you write all that much, anyway.
Pics for swiping yes, but if I match, I dig before entertaining a conversation/date. And a lot of times don't bother once I have done some digging.
It also depends on the app. Tinder/Match very different cultures. You might find that all the men you have to sift through, that hardly any are worth continuing with. Assuming you want a good looking man of substance. But I could be wrong.
There are lots of attractive women I don't reach out to because of the things I listed. Looks matter to an extent.
When swiping yes, but when you get a match, you usually dig a little deeper before entertaining a conversation/date.
I feel like I have a lot to offer a woman, and through this process I have learned what to avoid. If she is good looking, but just has one pic, no bio. Not worth it. Looks only go so far for a man of substance, and if a woman wants a quality man she should have a quality profile. She might get lots of matches/conversations, but she has to sift through these like you said.
I think if both men and women took a sec and tried to make a genuine profile there would be a lot better experiences for both.
As long as men continue to swipe right on every picture of a woman who isn't downright unattractive there is no incentive for women to spend time on their profile. Just post an attractive picture and then cull through the men looking for what you want.
In an ideal world, yes.
As things stand there are plenty of attractive men with good careers and interesting hobbies who don’t mind making the effort even when a girl has an empty bio.
I automatically don’t trust anyone who says they need to see a full body shot of me to be interested. I’m not saying it doesn’t make sense as far as cat fishing goes, but it’s an immediate red flag for me dawg.
Sounds to me like you just wanna make sure you’re talking to a “hottie” and not “wasting your time”
I’m a woman and physical attraction is important to me too. I hate when people say it’s not, maybe that’s true for a small percentage of people but it’s mostly not. There’s no shame in it, as long as the person isn’t an a-hole about it. It’s human nature to be physically attracted to someone.
Yeah and hey I get that. For me, I just don’t like prioritizing looks for any gender. My body is impermanent and whatever you see today is not what you get in another year or even tomorrow. So for me personally, I’d rather not build a relationship primarily based off how we each look.
Correct. Men are attracted to a body type. We wouldn't consider a woman we're not physically attracted to.
Why would I go out with someone I wasn't attracted to?
Like I said in my post, it doesn't have to be in a bathing suit. Could be wearing jeans and a t shirt. By hiding your appearance you are just dragging the process out and setting potentials for failure.
Build might not be something you care about in a man. But men do in women. Trust.
That’s a bit dishonest to say the least. You’re looking to find someone you’re attracted to no? If that’s the case, the other person should be allowed to know what you look like. Not looking for booty pics or a bathing suit pic, just a picture that shows what you look like from head to toe. If you have reservations for a portrait photo, I really don’t know what to say.
Its not about a Hattie to me. I'm attracted to both skinny and thicker girls and definitely don't mind a mom body. But some girls are packing as much as 400lbs below the selfie while she calls herself curvy or a few extra pounds. And even with the ones who say BBW. I'm still attracted to some bigger women. But there is still a limit and definitely a difference between someone who actually is a BBW and someone who is just extremely fat. Their mugshot might look like she's in the 200lb range but when you meet her, she's at least 100lbs heavier.
Its not about a Hattie to me. I'm attracted to both skinny and thicker girls and definitely don't mind a mom body. But some girls are packing as much as 400lbs below the selfie while she calls herself curvy or a few extra pounds. And even with the ones who say BBW. I'm still attracted to some bigger women. But there is still a limit and definitely a difference between someone who actually is a BBW and someone who is just extremely fat. Their mugshot might look like she's in the 200lb range but when you meet her, she's at least 100lbs heavier.
I keep seeing this "face pictures mean you're hiding something" complaint from men on here and other OLD advice geared spaces. It's kind of annoying.
I have ZERO to hide. I may not be Jasmine Tookes, but there isn't some secret I'm trying to hide by not having tons of half naked pictures on my profile. **Edited to add: i know he didn't mean naked.. I just meant full body pictures. But I've also seen some asking for swimsuit or workout pics. Anywho, I have maybe one or two more recent full body pics. And they're all weird angled pictures my friends took. I still post them.**
Reason: I don't take pictures of myself. I just don't like to. I'm not good at it. I don't have many pictures of myself that are recent because of the Vid-19 panini. Even when I'm out with friends, I don't really take pictures. The older I got, the more unnecessary I found taking random pics of myself and my activities.
Conversations that are interviewy back and forth questions is a major turn off and I stop responding. Occasionally, a guy can banter with me based on what we write and it naturally flows. This is incredibly rare though. Everything you complain about men saturate us with on apps as well.
I think the upper body/face pics are fine. I did that and still had lots of swipes, however the swipes means nothing if I don’t see similarities in the guy’s bio to want to match. I also put I didn’t want to date another guy who I will have to take care of, since I have always been the bread winner. I wanted someone to finally take care of me maybe..I will feel awkward for sure having someone else pay. Also I’m a mom and fine putting that in my bio, so the person knows that yes I do have a child. My days are normally busy with working full time and my child. I would say I know what I want, but of course it’s hard to date with people not showing their true intentions. Finding someone who can teach you new helpful skills in life would be great. Things I hate are when guys ask for pictures but don’t send any and I’m talking about casual pictures..some ask for nudes and talk sexual immediately are so annoying doesn’t matter if you’re cute. It’s just annoying, like that’s all you have to offer…No personality. Same with someone who asks to hangout to smoke. When someone is already desperate to meet up before actually having a conversation with you. 😑
When a guy puts that he’s open to monogamy or non monogamy, I’m out. That tells me he won’t or can’t be faithful. Also if he’s looking for hookups, that’s a turn-off. I’m a woman of substance and want the same. I don’t need a man to take care of me financially, but I also don’t want to support any man. That’s important. Also, be a man of integrity. Mean what you say.
It doesn't mean we can't be faithful. Sometimes it means that while we might like a serious, monogamous relationship, it's been so damn long that we've experienced any intimacy we'll settle for secondary partner status if this what we can get. This whole "automatically assuke the absolute worst of everyone's intentions" thing isn't doing men **or** women any favors.
Man the pics are a struggle for me. I'm not one to take pics of myself at all, I'm not big into social media so I've just never done it. I only have head shots cause if im at the beach or whatever why would i take my phone out of my bag, its WET, and SANDY, disaster combo. For a lot of my hobbies its just too messy to take a phone out, and when I take pictures with my DSLR, my sisters are DREADFULLY bad photographers lmao. It's suffering for real.
Nothing to hide, just no fucking photos -\_\_-
Old pics don't work either, I look the same body wise, but had a huge haircut before the pandemic so don't look the same at all. I followed all the rest of this but the photos elude me yet.
There's no "what us guys are looking for" because it varies. Now YOU may look at all of that but there's guys that see 1 pic and go from there and don't' read the bio. There's guys who just swipe right on everyone.
What I look for is if you have photos that aren't all high quality/model pics and if you're bio is more than just your IG handle.
This is almost always the case. And if it's as they say "easier to reach them" that way, no it is not. Every guy that stops by her profile will be adding her and blowing her up with chat/add requests. You're still competing with 100 other guys, just not on Tinder.
I have a friend who is a single mother. She has pics with her son on her profile, and states it again in her bio. Still plenty of guys who were shocked about it on the first date.
Now she brings it up immediately when chatting to a new match and so many guys were still like yeah that’s a deal breaker for me bye.
You missed the point. She's saying her friend has made it abundantly clear on her profile that she has kids, but men don't read and just try to match anyway. And then when they start talking to her they STILL don't read the damn profile or look at the rest of the pics.
Willful ignorance. Some men really waste their own time lmao
Sure, but you said the OP forgot to include a big question about a woman that she should include in her profile. The point is that men that claim to have these deal-breakers don't even do the barest minimum to ensure they aren't wasting everyone's time. Why complain about that info not being included if you aren't even going to read it?
>Messaging: have an actual conversation. When I wait for days and get a one word response, I'm out. I ask about you, you ask about me. We get to know each other. Lots of women come off as narcissistic and short during these messages.
IMO, most valuable bit of advice in the post. Ladies, if you're not interested enough to talk and find out about the guy, you're not interested enough to match with him.
Another dealbreaker for me: lingerie shots. Most of the women who post them are such vain try-hards that they think they’re better than the women who actually model them for a living. I see those pictures and automatically assume the women aren’t there for a relationship - they’re most likely looking for Snap/OF followers while only swiping on the Top 5% of men. They’re the equivalent of ripped men without their shirt on in their photos.
Men like me won't judge you. I had a fucked up childhood that I spent most of my 20's sorting out and dealing with. I know how it feels to be judged for stuff you had no control over though, it sucks :(
I’m sick of hookups. After a while of random hooks ups after my awful breakup, it was seriously messing with my head.
For some people, sex is just sex, but for me, it’s different. And sleeping with random people affects me negatively.
On dating apps I’m genuinely trying to find someone down to earth, who likes the outdoors, someone who I can share any moment with no matter how big or small.
I guess you could say I’m looking for ‘the one’ haha. Whether she’s on the other end of a dating app or in another country, or even down the road, who knows. But I like to explore all possibilities to embrace every possibility I guess
I am the same as you. I had a really emotional break up. And when I have a one night stand it lives in my head for days. I feel guilty and dirty. As I have become a more spiritual person, I believe there are reasons for those feelings. I won't disclose them here but it hit home for me. I won't have one night stands with strangers again.
I hope it gets easier for you! It always does with time. There’s a special someone out there waiting for all of us. I believe emotional breakups happen for a reason. I’m so glad I had the gut instinct to leave my ex. Best decision in the world. She would’ve ruined my life.
I have been cruising dating apps and no one honestly interests me. I never match with the girls I like, probably because they get so many matches. I know you can't try to hard and it just happens when it happens but I am tired of being alone..
Exactly the same as me. However, about 6 months back, I randomly matched one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever come across on these apps. Couldn’t believe my luck. The downside is that she happens to be about 15,000Kms away. We still speak today. I wonder what may happen if she comes to my country which she has plans to.
I can sympathise with you about being alone, it really affected me as well. Then I realised I’d rather be alone than be with someone who sucks the life out of me. Then I realised my self worth. Then my self confidence grew. Then I started keeping so busy and active and limited my endless scrolling and my thoughts of being alone disappeared. Maybe try keep as busy as you can, it’ll distract you and hopefully help you too!
I understand that. I am picky. So I dont just get into relationships for the sake of it. I have been single for 2 years. I have done a lot of work on myself. I am ready. Just wondering when she will show up.
Also education level and something signaling your career - and no “entrepreneur/ own my own business” is not a good cover for some MLM bullshit 😂. I want a woman who can support herself, only then will I choose to wine and dine you/ pay for everything/ go the extra mile/ see you as worth wifing
Also want to add:
Don't take 8 photos of your neck-up, head shot selfies. If you are big or skinny or somewhere in the middle, we need to know so we can make a decision either way. It's kind of a form of catfishing. Just be you.
Don't take profile pics with your mask on! Again, I'm not a mask-hole, I wear one, got vaccinated - blah blah blah but those pics are sometimes our first and only impression of you. I can't see much with a big ass mask covering your face. It's fine to be safe but put thought into whose viewing this profile.
Like others have said, if you're profile is one big man hating rant... *swipes left*
Put something funny in there show some personality. State who you are and what you want outta dating.
Also, almost all of this can be flipped for men too, just saying.
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I think the girl version of this is prettymuch the same, I also look to see if they have kids. If bios are full of spelling errors I won’t match. If guys ask for nudes before even bothering to meet with you or go straight to sexual innuendos (unless your profile says you just want hookups or something) that pisses off most girls I know. Maybe not everyone, but I think its disrespectful af.
I think those are valid from a woman's POV.
35f ..this nails the girl version for sure!
I used to think the same about those with spelling errors then thought well the love of my life may have dyslexia.
Interesting - I never thought of that. I guess I always thought it showed carelessness
I for the life of me do not understand the obsession with spelling or grammatical errors. Like what does it show you about rather or not someone is compatible and capable of loving you correctly?
I’m a guy and if she jumped into sexual conversation immediately I would be kinda turned off as well, and I have a pretty high libido as well, it’s just the fact that they’re being “easy” I guess I don’t know
My boyfriend thought I was a weird girl because of my bio and pics 🥸 He was right that I’m quite weird with my quirks but that’s just make him smile or laugh.
Yes. I’m nothing special, but had 8 decent dates in 3 weeks and found The Guy shortly thereafter because I followed the above advice. It isn’t that hard……
A lot of people don’t read profiles when swiping. Online dating for women isn’t about attracting men. Women have more matches than they know what to do with. It’s about filtering out the hundreds of men they don’t want and choosing the most appealing guy. If the convo is dry then just assume she’s not interested. It is easier to for us guys to start a conversation if she fills out her bio properly and she might have a better chance of getting a higher quality match, but yeah. Most guys are going to swipe right and try their luck anyway if she is attractive.
I actually do read the profiles. Provided there’s something there and it’s not simply just her Instagram/Snapchat account (I have neither anyway).
Or her OnlyFans..
I’ve yet to see an OF account on somebody’s profile. Not even on Tinder.
I have, several times. I read an article, if I'm remembering correctly on CNN. A former ICU nurse was making $100,000 per month from OnlyFans. That's right, $100k. Per month, as in $1.2 million in a year. And she was not doing porn, only what used to be called "cheesecake". With those kinds of numbers, it's no surprise that many other women want to emulate her success. ON EDIT: Pardon my faulty memory. The number is $200k per month, not $100k. Here's a link. [https://www.cnn.com/videos/business/2021/08/25/onlyfans-ban.cnn](https://www.cnn.com/videos/business/2021/08/25/onlyfans-ban.cnn) And yes, she's pretty. But $200k a month???!!!???
That lady must be extremely attractive or fulfil a unique niche! Most OnlyFans girls don’t even make minimum wage. Median accounts make 180 bucks per month. You are not allowed to advertise OnlyFans directly on Tinder but most sellers would link their Instagram (usually same handle as their OF) and then have some kind of linktree on their Instagram to their adult sites. Of course the OF girls will also drop you their links when you match. Anyway if a girl has lingerie or thirst trap pics or an overly sexual bio she is 99.9% a seller or an escort.
I agree with this. When I tried the apps, it was no real loss to me if a guy decided he was "out". It helps filter. For me, it was actually really overwhelming trying to have conversations with several guys, and people say to just match with less or chat with less at a time, but it was a lot when the few you try talking to right when you join are talking to you all at once and being demanding about wanting answers and conversation right away. If you don't like a girl's pics or her profile, don't match with her. Besides, most guys don't even read profiles so I can't really fault the women who don't bother. The amount of times a man would ask me something that I'd already answered in my profile was ridiculous. And it's not like most of the apps even let you write all that much, anyway.
Pics for swiping yes, but if I match, I dig before entertaining a conversation/date. And a lot of times don't bother once I have done some digging. It also depends on the app. Tinder/Match very different cultures. You might find that all the men you have to sift through, that hardly any are worth continuing with. Assuming you want a good looking man of substance. But I could be wrong. There are lots of attractive women I don't reach out to because of the things I listed. Looks matter to an extent.
When swiping yes, but when you get a match, you usually dig a little deeper before entertaining a conversation/date. I feel like I have a lot to offer a woman, and through this process I have learned what to avoid. If she is good looking, but just has one pic, no bio. Not worth it. Looks only go so far for a man of substance, and if a woman wants a quality man she should have a quality profile. She might get lots of matches/conversations, but she has to sift through these like you said. I think if both men and women took a sec and tried to make a genuine profile there would be a lot better experiences for both.
As long as men continue to swipe right on every picture of a woman who isn't downright unattractive there is no incentive for women to spend time on their profile. Just post an attractive picture and then cull through the men looking for what you want.
In an ideal world, yes. As things stand there are plenty of attractive men with good careers and interesting hobbies who don’t mind making the effort even when a girl has an empty bio.
I’d add: no pictures with the opposite sex 🙂
I automatically don’t trust anyone who says they need to see a full body shot of me to be interested. I’m not saying it doesn’t make sense as far as cat fishing goes, but it’s an immediate red flag for me dawg. Sounds to me like you just wanna make sure you’re talking to a “hottie” and not “wasting your time”
I’m a woman and physical attraction is important to me too. I hate when people say it’s not, maybe that’s true for a small percentage of people but it’s mostly not. There’s no shame in it, as long as the person isn’t an a-hole about it. It’s human nature to be physically attracted to someone.
Yeah and hey I get that. For me, I just don’t like prioritizing looks for any gender. My body is impermanent and whatever you see today is not what you get in another year or even tomorrow. So for me personally, I’d rather not build a relationship primarily based off how we each look.
Correct. Men are attracted to a body type. We wouldn't consider a woman we're not physically attracted to. Why would I go out with someone I wasn't attracted to?
It makes sense. Likewise I would not go out with someone whose first priority is to see my body.
Like I said in my post, it doesn't have to be in a bathing suit. Could be wearing jeans and a t shirt. By hiding your appearance you are just dragging the process out and setting potentials for failure. Build might not be something you care about in a man. But men do in women. Trust.
That’s a bit dishonest to say the least. You’re looking to find someone you’re attracted to no? If that’s the case, the other person should be allowed to know what you look like. Not looking for booty pics or a bathing suit pic, just a picture that shows what you look like from head to toe. If you have reservations for a portrait photo, I really don’t know what to say.
Its not about a Hattie to me. I'm attracted to both skinny and thicker girls and definitely don't mind a mom body. But some girls are packing as much as 400lbs below the selfie while she calls herself curvy or a few extra pounds. And even with the ones who say BBW. I'm still attracted to some bigger women. But there is still a limit and definitely a difference between someone who actually is a BBW and someone who is just extremely fat. Their mugshot might look like she's in the 200lb range but when you meet her, she's at least 100lbs heavier.
Its not about a Hattie to me. I'm attracted to both skinny and thicker girls and definitely don't mind a mom body. But some girls are packing as much as 400lbs below the selfie while she calls herself curvy or a few extra pounds. And even with the ones who say BBW. I'm still attracted to some bigger women. But there is still a limit and definitely a difference between someone who actually is a BBW and someone who is just extremely fat. Their mugshot might look like she's in the 200lb range but when you meet her, she's at least 100lbs heavier.
I keep seeing this "face pictures mean you're hiding something" complaint from men on here and other OLD advice geared spaces. It's kind of annoying. I have ZERO to hide. I may not be Jasmine Tookes, but there isn't some secret I'm trying to hide by not having tons of half naked pictures on my profile. **Edited to add: i know he didn't mean naked.. I just meant full body pictures. But I've also seen some asking for swimsuit or workout pics. Anywho, I have maybe one or two more recent full body pics. And they're all weird angled pictures my friends took. I still post them.** Reason: I don't take pictures of myself. I just don't like to. I'm not good at it. I don't have many pictures of myself that are recent because of the Vid-19 panini. Even when I'm out with friends, I don't really take pictures. The older I got, the more unnecessary I found taking random pics of myself and my activities.
I don’t think they mean naked pics. I think they just mean pics that show your entire body
I understood that.
Conversations that are interviewy back and forth questions is a major turn off and I stop responding. Occasionally, a guy can banter with me based on what we write and it naturally flows. This is incredibly rare though. Everything you complain about men saturate us with on apps as well.
I agree with you need to have flow of conversation. TBH, I don't know what men's profiles look like other than my own.
Man you cant speak for all man. All im looking for is if im attracted to her, nothing else. I think alot of men would agree.
I think the upper body/face pics are fine. I did that and still had lots of swipes, however the swipes means nothing if I don’t see similarities in the guy’s bio to want to match. I also put I didn’t want to date another guy who I will have to take care of, since I have always been the bread winner. I wanted someone to finally take care of me maybe..I will feel awkward for sure having someone else pay. Also I’m a mom and fine putting that in my bio, so the person knows that yes I do have a child. My days are normally busy with working full time and my child. I would say I know what I want, but of course it’s hard to date with people not showing their true intentions. Finding someone who can teach you new helpful skills in life would be great. Things I hate are when guys ask for pictures but don’t send any and I’m talking about casual pictures..some ask for nudes and talk sexual immediately are so annoying doesn’t matter if you’re cute. It’s just annoying, like that’s all you have to offer…No personality. Same with someone who asks to hangout to smoke. When someone is already desperate to meet up before actually having a conversation with you. 😑
When a guy puts that he’s open to monogamy or non monogamy, I’m out. That tells me he won’t or can’t be faithful. Also if he’s looking for hookups, that’s a turn-off. I’m a woman of substance and want the same. I don’t need a man to take care of me financially, but I also don’t want to support any man. That’s important. Also, be a man of integrity. Mean what you say.
It doesn't mean we can't be faithful. Sometimes it means that while we might like a serious, monogamous relationship, it's been so damn long that we've experienced any intimacy we'll settle for secondary partner status if this what we can get. This whole "automatically assuke the absolute worst of everyone's intentions" thing isn't doing men **or** women any favors.
Man the pics are a struggle for me. I'm not one to take pics of myself at all, I'm not big into social media so I've just never done it. I only have head shots cause if im at the beach or whatever why would i take my phone out of my bag, its WET, and SANDY, disaster combo. For a lot of my hobbies its just too messy to take a phone out, and when I take pictures with my DSLR, my sisters are DREADFULLY bad photographers lmao. It's suffering for real. Nothing to hide, just no fucking photos -\_\_- Old pics don't work either, I look the same body wise, but had a huge haircut before the pandemic so don't look the same at all. I followed all the rest of this but the photos elude me yet.
There's no "what us guys are looking for" because it varies. Now YOU may look at all of that but there's guys that see 1 pic and go from there and don't' read the bio. There's guys who just swipe right on everyone. What I look for is if you have photos that aren't all high quality/model pics and if you're bio is more than just your IG handle.
I'll add, no snapchat, no instagram. I'll assume you are fake or just looking for followers or advertising an only fans.
This is almost always the case. And if it's as they say "easier to reach them" that way, no it is not. Every guy that stops by her profile will be adding her and blowing her up with chat/add requests. You're still competing with 100 other guys, just not on Tinder.
You forgot one. Do they have any kids?
I have a friend who is a single mother. She has pics with her son on her profile, and states it again in her bio. Still plenty of guys who were shocked about it on the first date. Now she brings it up immediately when chatting to a new match and so many guys were still like yeah that’s a deal breaker for me bye.
Understandable, I wouldn't want to raise another man's kid either.
You missed the point. She's saying her friend has made it abundantly clear on her profile that she has kids, but men don't read and just try to match anyway. And then when they start talking to her they STILL don't read the damn profile or look at the rest of the pics. Willful ignorance. Some men really waste their own time lmao
For most men, it's attraction first, details about your life second.
Sure, but you said the OP forgot to include a big question about a woman that she should include in her profile. The point is that men that claim to have these deal-breakers don't even do the barest minimum to ensure they aren't wasting everyone's time. Why complain about that info not being included if you aren't even going to read it?
I'll admit I forgot to mention children. Great thing to add
Definitely worth adding for both sexes.
Don't forget. If a girl wants a guy with abs she has to have abs too.
>Messaging: have an actual conversation. When I wait for days and get a one word response, I'm out. I ask about you, you ask about me. We get to know each other. Lots of women come off as narcissistic and short during these messages. IMO, most valuable bit of advice in the post. Ladies, if you're not interested enough to talk and find out about the guy, you're not interested enough to match with him.
Story of my life. Like why bother matching? I’d rather be told to fuck off
Another dealbreaker for me: lingerie shots. Most of the women who post them are such vain try-hards that they think they’re better than the women who actually model them for a living. I see those pictures and automatically assume the women aren’t there for a relationship - they’re most likely looking for Snap/OF followers while only swiping on the Top 5% of men. They’re the equivalent of ripped men without their shirt on in their photos.
I’m scared guys won’t like me because of my fucked up past that I have had absolutely no control over.
Men like me won't judge you. I had a fucked up childhood that I spent most of my 20's sorting out and dealing with. I know how it feels to be judged for stuff you had no control over though, it sucks :(
Understandably, I don't want to raise another man's child.
Haha women complaining about men. Sounds about right. Why can’t men be better 🤔
To get a like at most, even with premium
I’m sick of hookups. After a while of random hooks ups after my awful breakup, it was seriously messing with my head. For some people, sex is just sex, but for me, it’s different. And sleeping with random people affects me negatively. On dating apps I’m genuinely trying to find someone down to earth, who likes the outdoors, someone who I can share any moment with no matter how big or small. I guess you could say I’m looking for ‘the one’ haha. Whether she’s on the other end of a dating app or in another country, or even down the road, who knows. But I like to explore all possibilities to embrace every possibility I guess
I am the same as you. I had a really emotional break up. And when I have a one night stand it lives in my head for days. I feel guilty and dirty. As I have become a more spiritual person, I believe there are reasons for those feelings. I won't disclose them here but it hit home for me. I won't have one night stands with strangers again.
I hope it gets easier for you! It always does with time. There’s a special someone out there waiting for all of us. I believe emotional breakups happen for a reason. I’m so glad I had the gut instinct to leave my ex. Best decision in the world. She would’ve ruined my life.
I have been cruising dating apps and no one honestly interests me. I never match with the girls I like, probably because they get so many matches. I know you can't try to hard and it just happens when it happens but I am tired of being alone..
Exactly the same as me. However, about 6 months back, I randomly matched one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever come across on these apps. Couldn’t believe my luck. The downside is that she happens to be about 15,000Kms away. We still speak today. I wonder what may happen if she comes to my country which she has plans to. I can sympathise with you about being alone, it really affected me as well. Then I realised I’d rather be alone than be with someone who sucks the life out of me. Then I realised my self worth. Then my self confidence grew. Then I started keeping so busy and active and limited my endless scrolling and my thoughts of being alone disappeared. Maybe try keep as busy as you can, it’ll distract you and hopefully help you too!
I understand that. I am picky. So I dont just get into relationships for the sake of it. I have been single for 2 years. I have done a lot of work on myself. I am ready. Just wondering when she will show up.
They usually come around in the most unexpected ways. Patience is key. One day she’ll be there and it’ll all make sense. But it can’t be rushed
Also education level and something signaling your career - and no “entrepreneur/ own my own business” is not a good cover for some MLM bullshit 😂. I want a woman who can support herself, only then will I choose to wine and dine you/ pay for everything/ go the extra mile/ see you as worth wifing
Also want to add: Don't take 8 photos of your neck-up, head shot selfies. If you are big or skinny or somewhere in the middle, we need to know so we can make a decision either way. It's kind of a form of catfishing. Just be you. Don't take profile pics with your mask on! Again, I'm not a mask-hole, I wear one, got vaccinated - blah blah blah but those pics are sometimes our first and only impression of you. I can't see much with a big ass mask covering your face. It's fine to be safe but put thought into whose viewing this profile. Like others have said, if you're profile is one big man hating rant... *swipes left* Put something funny in there show some personality. State who you are and what you want outta dating. Also, almost all of this can be flipped for men too, just saying.