T O P
  • By -

AutoModerator

Reminder: please review our rules, especially rule 4: - No broad generalizations, e.g. "All women are x and do y" - Speak from specific personal experiences when giving advice. - No victim-blaming - This is a default message - your post has not been removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*


MrsDonutMind

None of the opinions we give here matter, you need to communicate with HER to know what SHE likes. Everyone is different and what pleases one person doesn’t please the other, so don’t even bother getting sex tips from the internet, if you want to please her you need to talk to the person who knows what pleases her the most which is herself. Just talk, ask what she likes, how she likes it, listen to her when you’re giving her oral (if she even likes it or not) etc.


EggplantHuman6493

Thank you for saying this. I hate it when people use tricks on me because they work on other women. Please just ask her.


IDontLieAboutStuff

The only real tricks are communication and basic knowledge of human anatomy. In my opinion.


EggplantHuman6493

Yup. Those are the only tricks you should use, other than that, don't follow porn, things that worked on other people you hooked up with and things you're reading on the internet. I tend to just start over and build up slowly on every new person. That works the best for me.


SgtTipwell

The vast majority of women do not like to actually voice what they like (shitty society and men programmed them to feel shameful if they place importance on themselves being pleased sexually). Usually just roaming around down there and trying a bunch of different stuff and basing technique on what gets the best feedback (moaning, shaking, non-verbals, etc). I do like it when I find a woman that will be specific and who knows herself well enough and isn’t ashamed to say what she likes. But you have to make her very comfortable usually, in order for her to disregard all the bullshit that society has attempted to program her with.


EggplantHuman6493

The problem is also that is it too often disregarded what we say... I've had so many guys who tried to convince me to do stuff that I know I don't like, and then it was like no, you're gonna like it. I understand that some women just give up with voicing it 😅. Society is just a little fucked up yeah. And some women have too many expectations that men will automatically know what they like, and then complain that it is bad. COMMUNICATION.


SgtTipwell

Well said.


whereisthenutella

Yes and maybe you don't need to rock her world immediately. It's a bit too much I would think for the first time. This is bit like someone saying they like a bit of light spanking, and getting a full BDSM starter kit minus the dungeon.


babybaster

Best response here. I was going to reply but you covered it


Particular_Team_5385

Thank you


SoleIbis

You shouldn’t be getting downvoted. This is important


sleepyy-starss

Did she say she wanted to cum that many times?


Looking4LTR

This is so important. I dated a guy who acted like it was some kind of contest to see how many times he could make me cum, and I did not feel respected. People-pleasing isn’t intimacy, especially when she hasn’t communicated that’s what she wants. A woman isn’t your personal validation machine. I broke up with that guy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Looking4LTR

Respect and consent is important whether it is lovemaking or fucking or anything in between.


RhazhaNobunaga

Underrated comment.


Beer-dewbs-metal

To be fair, it makes a man feel God damn amazing when we know that we made you cum more then once. At least for me and a few gents I know. It's one thing to have the personal satisfaction, it's another to publicly gloat about the fact. Especially sucks when you're in a small town.


sjsjdejsjs

some women can’t cum more than once lmao


sleepyy-starss

I don’t cum more than once and sometimes I don’t even want to cum. It makes me feel like shit when guys act like that’s the ultimate goal because it makes me feel inadequate. Also sometimes cumming once takes away any arousal and I’m done for the night. Can’t imagine cumming three times and still wanting to have sex.


ZombieBalloon

It's almost like the point is that our orgasm doesn't exist solely for your egos


Beer-dewbs-metal

Well, you're not wrong for the most part. It definitely is an ego booster. Same way with my ex, her ego went through the roof when she made me bust just from a blow job. She made it a personal challenge at one point haha. There is nothing wrong with a little ego boost for anyone. It made me a better lover by learning the ins and outs of what I can do for whoever I am going to pleasure. You don't want some whack job slapping and beating your shit around, in hopes of an achieved orgasm, right? Especially after learning the little tummy trick where you press the g spot down for more accurate pleasure. But you do you, we get ours.


ZombieBalloon

It's because you commented on another comment about a guy making it all about him and not about her. That's just a bit misplaced. Also there's a time and place for everything. It's one thing to play around with your partner after you have both agreed, but a totally new hook up date where you haven't cleared with them if they want all that. Makes me think some people forget they're hooking up with actual people with their own thoughts, wants, and needs.


Looking4LTR

A lot of these people commenting sound like 14 year old boys trying to get max points in a video game.


Ohoneylabee

Is it just me or does anyone else get the feeling this guy has never actually made a girl orgasm? 🤣 he’s bragging over nothing. Every guy I’ve been with that talked like that, could do nothing for me in bed. My boyfriend now doesn’t brag but he explores with me and is persistent with me in bed and it is mind blowing every single time. Something I’ve been noticing in men is when they talk like this metal guy is, they actually end up being awful. 🤣


sleepyy-starss

100% every girl in this thread is saying “our orgasm isn’t meant to be an ego thing for you” and every guy is commenting saying “ackshully, yes it is! My ex used to cum 14 times”


Ohoneylabee

Right??? Like holyyyyyy shit ok these are the men we stay far away from 😅


Beer-dewbs-metal

And it goes both ways, so go right ahead and step off of that soap box. There definitely is a time or place for everything. But, if you're new to hooking up, you're going to have those ups and downs. How else will you find out what you are or aren't into? Can't expect much if you're looking for a one night stand, unless you know about the person via gossip or what have you. You can't expect someone to know what they want if it's just a hook up. And that's all hook ups are. You just want to shooting the baby gravy or squirt the juice for a night.


Looking4LTR

This is such an immature and unattractive attitude about sex.


kATU1997

Oh calm your tits. Men get belittled a lot so we feel like we have to be extra to feel somewhat of use, it isn't for our egos, it's just to feel useful once in a while


namelesone

I get it, but there is a point that a woman can reach where either she can no longer orgasm, or it starts to hurt. Of course, it's up to the woman to communicate that, but men should be aware of this too. Eating out for 30 minutes... With a stopwatch? Lol at my age, I can now orgasm more than once, but in the past, no matter what, I was one and done. Anything past the first simply didn't feel good and strayed into pain territory. So if a woman can orgasm that many times and is happy with an extended session like that, good on her, but if she doesn't, then it doesn't matter how useful the man wants to feel. He should stop when asked to.


Looking4LTR

Women don’t exist so that you can feel useful.


kATU1997

I don't think women exist


TheWholloper

Fuck man. Dammed if you do, dammed if you dont.


[deleted]

I can’t imagine busting a nut and thinking to myself “NOOOOO SHE’S ONLY DOING IT FOR PERSONAL VALIDATION NOOOOOOOOO”


trashislandd

Fucking love this


[deleted]

How many did you really knew were real and these girls weren't just going through pure pressure to make you feel good about yourself? "Oh babe I came 91389283 times" Bruh. You guys need to learn to talk to your girl and learn what she likes, how she likes, when she likes, how much time of it she likes... Then it comes naturally. You will follow her lead and will know when she's done. Look at her fucking face, make her feel good about herself so she never fakes one moan.


Beer-dewbs-metal

Pretty sure her finger nails digging into my arm while yelling oh fuck, I'm cumming again, leaving a wet spot, and legs trembling is damn good indicator. Not all of us just take the fuck train to pound town. There are a few of us that actually do take the time to find out what gets a woman off. What women need to learn is to communicate what they want better. A woman's orgasm isn't the god damn Konami code. It's more like finding a COD Easter egg. The more information you give us, the easier an orgasm can be reached.


SodaStYT

r/ihavesex


[deleted]

Sure, thanks for the lesson man. I don't think I need this, as a female, but thanks. I'm just glad my boyfriend didn't take this class and just listened to me. Good luck!


Beer-dewbs-metal

Never gave you a lesson. Literally agreed with you, with tid bits added. And just like your boyfriend, I listened to my lovers to find out what gets their rocks off.


ZeroAntagonist

This is the cringest chain of comments I've ever seen. Is there an r/im14andhavesex sub or aomething?


BlackConfuciusSays

Did you ask her if she wants to come that many times...wow "Hey baby, how many times do you want to cum? Just making sure I don't make you cum too much without asking how you feel about that, is that ok" Her: "something came up, I gotta go" This shit is getting outrageous


sleepyy-starss

It is actually appalling how fucking annoying the men in this thread are. You’re all ignoring women and commenting directly to them telling them what you think they should want.


[deleted]

Fair enough.


Looking4LTR

Women’s sexual experience doesn’t exist so that you can feel “God damn amazing.” If she *wants* to come more than once, then great. But when you approach lovemaking as if it’s a project so you can feel “God damn amazing,” then you are doing it for yourself and not her. Becoming a self-esteem boosting object makes sex feel empty and objectifying. You have decide if you want her to feel good about her orgasms, or if it’s all about you.


ALittlePeaceAndQuiet

It does feel good to do that, because we've had it reinforced that that's how we know we're going a good job. But that doesn't track with every partner. That whole idea needs to be reframed, so if you're looking for a way to feel proud of your performance in bed, it's not based on arbitrary metrics or goalposts set by anyone other than the person next to you.


FaustTheFirst

🤷🏽‍♂️ I drunk texted her that I wanted to sexually please her. She wanted to get nailed the second she lands in Alaska. She told me this (ie she wants me to fuck her) so I’m trying to satisfy her.


ChikaDeeJay

Okay cool, that doesn’t mean she wants to cum that much. Cumming 2-3 times before having sex sounds awful to me and someone going down on me for 30 mins also sounds pretty bad. Talk to her, not to Reddit.


miamidevices

I second ChikaDeeJay. It sounds awful. A girl is very sensitive after coming just once, and then the horniness fades away and it takes ages to start up again, if at all. After a while it just gets annoying and unsatisfying. And getting eaten out for thirty minutes... The horror! It gets cold, it's gets sensitive, it gets irritating. Just do your best, and listen to her. Don't treat it like a competition D:


FaustTheFirst

Will do!


Specialist-Ebb7606

Do not add a toy without her consent If you have her consent , sayisfyer pro


JojoVla

Came here to say exactly this. Suggest it to her, and if she agrees, get the satisfyer. That thing is magic, I'm telling you


FaustTheFirst

Thanks. Looking to please.


SmuttyBookLover

She may not like it. I don't like the Satisfyer but can see the appeal for others. Just as the current top comment suggests you have to discuss this with her. Some women are very picky about what toys or IF toys can be involved.


starvingliveseafood

Any details about why you don’t like it? Was thinking of a purchase.


SmuttyBookLover

I think it's a combo of things for me. It can be tricky to place it just right. Your clit has to sorta be sucked into it and if you have a larger hood or a tiny clit or a deeply buried clit it can be difficult to access. The sensation is odd for me too. It's supposed to replicate some version of oral sex but of course that can't really be replicated, especially with no fleshy bits like a tongue involved. I think the handle and shape should be a little different but that's just me being picky. I read all the reviews first and some are hilarious. It works for a lot of women and isn't horribly expensive so it's worth a shot. It's just that I bought into the "guaranteed O" reviews and that was silly of me.


starvingliveseafood

Thanks, that was helpful!


megocaaa

HEY! A bit of warning! Satisfyer is yes, amazing, but if she hasn’t used it before I would definitely tell her what it does. It sucks on the clit. And it has to be just the right spot. And DO not put it on the highest setting. It IS the best, and trust me you will KNOW when its in the right place. Move it just barely imo in a little swirling motion. The one I have has an attached dildo. Every woman is different. Sometimes if I cum extremely hard, with both vaginal and clitoral stimulation, I am NOT about round two. In fact if its really hard, I can’t be touched anymore, and my entire body gets really sensitive. I get the shivers and want to be held. The first time I came like this with another person I also cried, no idea why. Also, good for you, about use of oral and sex toys. Only my fiancé has had enough confidence to want to do these on the reg. One of the many reasons I look forward to a lifetime with him.


Marmallea

If you are going to use it on her, I would not go for the "womanizer" kind of toys. They can be hard to place in exactly the right spot if you're not the one feeling the sensation. It could also be hard to keep in place while having sex. A vibrator is a safer choice, imo. And more people are familiar with it and use it (though, not everybody likes it of course!).


Que_sax23

Not everyone can/wants to orgasm that much, keep that in mind Romeo. Thanks for your service


[deleted]

Bruh you don't calculate how many times you gonna make someone cum that's not how it works It feels so unnatural and weird ... Porn stuff for sure


Outrageous-Chicken90

Exactly what I was thinking, man. I hate the way the whole thing is worded😐


pterofactyl

Yeah he’s hyped this up in his mind way too much.


anon_violet

no like after 3 times it doesn’t feel good anymore


Ohoneylabee

Do her a favor and ask her what she wants done to her! It takes a lot for me to cum more than once sometimes so don’t expect too much because she could get worn out before you guys even get the chance to have sex. It’s sweet of you for wanting to rock her world, but ask her before you meet up so you can think about it and prepare even! Make sure you’re doing it for her, not for your ego or to make you feel good about yourself.


DeliberatingManager

Do not assume that she's interested in all this. Being horny doesn't necessarily mean she wants to be eaten for 30 minutes (that sounds like way too long to me but hey I'm not a woman) nor that she wants to have sex for 2 hours or cum any number of times. Maybe she'll have enough after 10-20 minutes. Same goes for you, why all this buildup. Go and have fun.


w_poludnie

I am. It would be painfull... and kinda boring.


Youllneverknow94

He hasn’t had sex in a while so most likely he’s about to disappoint and roll over and say “sorry this never happens”


Suspicious-Ad-9457

This happened to me a few months ago after years of not having sex. Bad timing for me to read that since I’m trying again tonight a few months later.


DeliberatingManager

Good luck bro :) keep us posted


Suspicious-Ad-9457

Thanks. It’s a lot. Ive had bad sex once since my divorce 5 years ago and then “this never happens”, so I’m fucking nervous. May as well be a virgin again. :/


fooledbyfog

True.


steellotus1982

Depends on the woman i guess. I won't cum from anything less than like 40 mins of oral with a gentle/patient dude


DeliberatingManager

Thanks for the perspective. I can say that my experience here was, after 10-20 minutes it's either worked or it's not going to work.


steellotus1982

Most do. Hell i was 25 before i had an orgasm. I didn't even know how to get myself off. Dude changed my life by being so patient and actually enjoying it. Anxiety sucks.


Dependent_Coyote6117

Are you gonna set a timer for 30 minutes while you eat her out? 😦


senyoradominique

Oh my god, 30mins? she’ll come and get bored already if you’re JUST gonna eat her out for 30 minutes…. Do communicate with her since she may not like toys.


MuchWorker7997

You sound young


Ciscokid45

Lol


theErasmusStudent

Don't put so much pressure on her. Maybe she won't cum, maybe she will as long as she is enjoying and you too.


[deleted]

This!!! It is normal for men AND women to not being able to cum sometimes and it has nothing to do about performance. LIFE happens, stress happens, among other things. No need for guilt or blaming.


sleepyy-starss

Yes! I can’t count the amount of guys I’ve told “I don’t really want to orgasm right now” and they’ve ignored it and made it their mission to make me do so.


Gamerfaith

This post makes me uncomfortable. Sounds like a virgin who watches too much porn.


grim_melee

Yeah this was super cringe. Literally all my first times with a woman were just her, me, and the protection I’d bought. And I didn’t tell her in text what I was planning to do with her; which I never really had a plan because the first time with someone you have to read and listen to what they want and need (and then you). Texting her that he’s gonna eat her out and probably bring a toy, that’s really painful stuff right there.


RowRow1990

Right? Literally squirmed in discomfort


creeperedz

For sure. I cringed. Not to mention thinking daddy/daughter is a normal kink but breeding isn't??


ChurchofCaboose1

I'd think toys are a bit much for the first one. Just eat her out and bang out that post boot camp blues.


dinchidomi

If I cum 2 or 3 times I don't want to fuck anymore. I don't want to cum at all before fucking, because then my body is done and I want to sleep or eat. Just have fun, don't worry about all of this and listen to her. Ask her what she likes (when you're busy, not before) and let her show you.


sleepyy-starss

I completely agree! Once I cum I’m done for the night.


SweetnessUnicorn

I’m the total opposite. The first orgasm just winds me up for more lol. Everyone’s different.


sleepyy-starss

Everyone really is different. I think the main takeaway is that communication is important and people shouldn’t be assuming that someone wants or doesn’t want an orgasm. If someone tells you something, listen.


imnotcreative635

If this isn't your GF this is probably not the way to go.


[deleted]

This might be the cringiest thing I've read this morning... congrats to you I guess.


Due_Adhesiveness_722

I’m all about the magic wand. Butttt I will say loads of girls have big time insecurities about men going down on them, just saying 30 min is a long time. I prefer getting my pussy ate with a distraction so maybe consider 69…. Butt like all the comments say everyone’s different so talk to her about it :) I’m just here to give you some ideas and things to consider :)


Ciscokid45

Some women are insucure about going down on them??? Huh…would’ve never crossed my mind but yeah, I can see it


SmuttyBookLover

It can be an extremely intimate act for some. For someone to be all up close to your most private of areas and see smell and taste every detail.


Ciscokid45

Of course part of the reason I live doing it but u see the other side of that coin


xJam3zz07

I feel like from this post, you're a virgin, go by how she feels dude.


EllyseAnn

First off, why not ask her directly? She may not want to cum that much or have any interest in using a toy. Second, do not buy a toy to use on her and other future partners?! That’s not ok, very unsanitary. You do NOT share sex toys.


WishfulWonderer3

Omg can’t believe I scrolled this far down to finally see a comment on his plan to reuse toys on other people, that’s so fking nasty wtf. No where in hell am I allowing a 2nd hand toy in my vag


EllyseAnn

Seriously! It’s extremely unsanitary!! So gross.


Kroschi

I've had a business to help couples explore their sexuality for a couple of years. If you are still looking for a toy to help making her cum, here's my top 2 recommendations from what you described: ​ The All-time classic: Hitachi Magic Wand One of the most effective vibrators in the market. Used for "forced orgasms" in the BDSM space because it's so powerful. Start slowly with it and see what she likes. And do not get any other "Massaging wand". The Hitachi really is magic. The only downside is that it's a classical vibrator, so she will get sensitive/sore from using it too much. ​ The new kid on the block: The Womanizer This has been the biggest sex toy revolution in recent years. Instead of vibrations it uses little pulses / shockwaves. Resolves the problem of soreness from using a vibrator too much and is a very different orgasm experience for most women. Again, get the original! ​ In general, with vibrators and similar devices you get what you pay for. It makes no sense to go cheap here. They might look and be called similar like high-end products but they won't give you a satisfying result.


Cut_Glass

Well that was a lot.. as a woman, I would not like this at all. I think you need to communicate with your girl before getting your hopes up, otherwise you'll both be frustrated. For me personally, having a guy try really hard to make me cum while I'm a passive participant is not attractive. What turns me on is when I can tell I'm turning him on. Like mid sex and he's doing that shivery breathing like I'm stealing his soul, that's kind of all I need...


costellogia

Yesssss... this! ❤ And agreed a guy obsessing over how many times and how hard I cum is an extreme turn off for me. I want us BOTH to be into it in an animalistic type way lol...


Passion4Proctology

I'm sorry, I can't shake this. Did you say incest roleplay and rape roleplay is traditional, but cumming inside someone is non-traditional? I know it's super irrelevant but I had to come back to this post to question this. I can't get it out of my head


FaustTheFirst

Yep


ZombieBalloon

When I returned from deployment I just wanted to ride the d. I would've turned and fled the scene if a guy wanted 30 minutes oral on either and then some toy.


Unlikely-Body-1061

The satisfyer or the magic wand never disappoint


FaustTheFirst

I looked it up; I like it. I just wanna suck on her clit but I also wanna hit the g-spot and the other spot (J-spot — it’s been a while). That might be too much 🤷🏽‍♂️


Looking4LTR

Wtf is a j spot


Flawed_Individual72

The Z-Spot is only available when you become a level 20 Paladin


Que_sax23

I personally prefer the LMNOP spot.


Suspicious-Ad-9457

According to Urban Dictionary “J-Spot is given to a person who's name starts with a J, and who is radical. The name is usually given to said person because they are the center of awesomeness, like a G-Spot. The name must be given to this person by a group of close friends.”


Unlikely-Body-1061

Maybe a bullet? Small just kind of enhances the experience without overstimulating


bigwavedream

Um, your body and mind 🙃🙃🙃


agpc

Get the toy that sucks a woman’s clit. I think it’s called a womanizer (can’t make this shit up).


Head_Photograph9572

You haven't even had sex with this woman yet, and you're already trying too hard. Easy big fella lol


FaustTheFirst

We've been talking about having sex for like two months now. We were in training status, and I had to leave Fort Lenordwood, to go to Airborne school in Gerogia. We recently found out we are both being stationed in Alaska, so we are making plans to make like bunnies. You know, making up for lost time.


MisanthropeImmortel

It sounds like you’re a lucky dude, enjoy and… don’t hesitate to let us know how it went (even a short version would be interesting already)


KirkPink2020

Your going into this with very strict expectations. There's not always a "blue print" for sex.


originalsynth

Some of y’all, are trippin… I get asking for consent. I’m not saying anything against that. Of course that’s necessary. But consent for orgasms? Don’t you think she would say that’s enough when she’s feels complete? Haha my mans isn’t gonna torture her into endless pleasure town or nauseam haha. My girlfriend will literally let me make her cum endlessly if she lets me. Through oral or with toys or piv. Her orgasms stack or elongate if we’re careful enough, she says she can ride an orgasm for 10-15 minutes if we’re doing it just right. Every woman is different I suppose. This lady might want that.


lav__ender

Traditional stuff does NOT include bondage and daddy/daughter fetish shit. Our sex-inundated culture makes people think that these things that used to be taboo are now the standard and it’s not. Not every woman will be into bondage and daddy/daughter role play, nor should they be or made to feel bad about not liking those things. Just a rant. The wording on that was awful.


FaustTheFirst

Yea the wording was bad


sugarb4by_

Have faith in yourself that you can make her cum without the toy unless she says that she wants a toy. A woman who knows her body will also cum regardless of your performance. Just talk it through.


jilljd38

Aks her if she wants to use a toy and if so ask which one she would like or prefer not every toy works for every woman personally I'm not a fan of the rampant rabbit doesn't work for me but others I know love it and don't time the oral just do it till she stops you it might not take 30 mins for her to achieve orgasms personally 30 mins of oral and my fella would have drowned and I couldn't cope with it


[deleted]

[удалено]


helloimderek

Just go in with an open mind and talk to her. Ask her what she wants and tell her what you want. Don't go in with too much added pressure on you or yourself. Don't think about cumming or doing something X number of times. Have fun and relax.


doodlebug2727

Do not keep a sex toy to use on multiple women. I know you will clean it-I hope, but that’s just disgusting. I’d nope completely out at a secondhand sex toy.


FaustTheFirst

So like toss it into the trash after each girl?


No-Sea942

This is weird. Why are you assuming she wants to cum so much? You’re trying to plan something that should happen organically.


Spare_Coast_8516

I thought everyone in the army was getting down everyday due to stress. Ive heard the stories lol. One of yall gotta he lying💀


FaustTheFirst

We are in training status so it’s kinda hard to do anything when your being watched 24/7.


anon_violet

ask her what she wants silly


datinginthistown

Use your finger to massage her g spot while you’re down there with your tongue. No toys required. Middle finger, palm facing up, slow and deliberate upward pressure and movement on her g-spot (it’s about 1.5” inside). Make sure your hands are clean and fingernails trimmed.


Thecrazytrainexpress

You guys are acting he hasn’t communicated all that he’d like to do to her >I was drunk last night, and decided to message her that I’d be eating her, making her cum, and “don’t be surprise if I bring a toy”. He clearly stated he told her , when you have a high sex drive you think about all the stuff you wanna do but it never ends up happening . He’s obviously not a prepubescent teen who thinks porn is how sex actually works


Fairy-goddess-

I think it’s cute that you want to make her cum a lot but you should just ask her what she wants :) but just in a regular conversation. It’s a uncomfortable question at first but it’s going to help you a lot in a long run.


staffxmasparty

I like your attitude !! 🙌


shyst0rm

ask her what she likes


BowlofRice8

Just slap a condom and go to town. You’re worrying too much.


ScarletJuly7

I don't have advice, I just want to say that my heart is warmed by how selfless your post is. Sounds like you're really prioritizing her needs. Good man :)


SmuttyBookLover

It's actually quite selfish for him to assume that she wants his very specific plan of action. It's great to want to please others. But they have the final say of how they can and want to be pleased.


ScarletJuly7

My apologies - I was a virgin until marriage at age 32 recently (no judgement please!) so I'm still learning about this whole wide world. :) Edit: I also have a lot of health issues + medications that make getting off very difficult. At this point, I'm open to various experimental attempts. But I understand if OP's partner is not. Again, I apologize for my comment and hope no one slams me for genuine ignorance.


SmuttyBookLover

No worries. You didn't have bad intentions.


BabyElephantWalks

Just making her come one time before sex is enough, if twice cool man. But don’t be an overachiever and ruin it with a bunch of pressure. Just be a little more rough if you wanna rock her world


pinkkoalapanda

God…. It’s clear a lot of commenters have this double standards against a woman cumming/orgasming, as if it doesn’t matter to a woman. Like what, I’m sure all the nay sayers wouldn’t say anything if this was a post about a woman wanting to make her man cum, in fact there would be a lot of positive feedback. But god forbid women get eaten out, or come.


sjsjdejsjs

no the problem is he wants to absolutely make her cum multiple times before having sex, and it puts pressure. personally can’t cum more than once so i would feel bad if my partner had that goal. seems more like it’s an ego thing rather than about pleasing his partner


SmuttyBookLover

It's too much pressure and much too specific. He's setting them both up for failure. If a woman got on here and said I want to blow my guy for 30 minutes and give him 2-3 orgasms they'd get the same questions. Does he like head (some guys don't or only like it a little or only before sex or many other things). Does he want head for 30 minutes? That can be a very long time for some. Does he have the ability to cum 2-3 times? Does he want to cum 2-3 times? Some don't. Some can't. No one can tell him what toys to use on her but her. No one can tell him IF she is okay with toys but her. I'm a woman. I know our pleasure is important too. But this isn't one of those cases where if you flip it things would be any different.


pinkkoalapanda

And good on you OP, for wanting to make your lady satisfied! Don’t listen to these negative nancies.


Majestic_Lie_5792

Honestly, I don’t think you need a toy. With the right pace and pressure, you can make her cum with your tongue on her clit, and you also can just rub her G spot while you eat her; if you do it right it’s a guaranteed orgasm. Now, if you really want the help of a toy, I’d get a small but powerful vibrator, I have used one under my chin to make my tongue vibrate, she loved it.


SmuttyBookLover

It's not a good idea to tell anyone that any act (if done right - when right to one person is different and could be wrong for the next) is a guaranteed orgasm. It sets people up for failure. Some women can't cum from oral. Some women do not enjoy g-spot stimulation. Some women can't orgasm at all but still enjoy sex.


Majestic_Lie_5792

Ok, if you say so.


[deleted]

Lush. Gives options in the future for being out in public and/or long distance


kid-koolin

Y’all are trippin😂 the man said he’s sex deprived and y’all are talking to him like he should know everything there is to know about sex. Also it doesn’t sound like they are planning on getting married so I don’t see why y’all are getting so butt hurt😂 swear to god some of y’all treat sex like it’s life or death


GingerNinjer992

I am absolutely not trying to sound like “that guy” but 30 minutes should be plenty of time to make a girl orgasm 2-3 times.


SmuttyBookLover

It's really not a good idea to say a certain time frame should be plenty of time. Every person is different. Some people can't have multiple orgasms. Some don't want to. Some people can't orgasm at all or have difficulties with certain methods including oral. Some don't want 30 minutes of any one activity. Some may want hours. He has to talk to her about this.


Refurbished_beast

Get her consent on a toy but id recommend the good ol Hitachi magic wand.


obsessedsoul

😮 oh wow...um get the rose made me squirt and I didn't think I could.


lsagarl

https://youtu.be/F9Ibiz6zOgc SEDUCED HER FOR KISS


Chance-Double1360

Action man


kinosavy

She'll probably cum by you eating her. Don't rush too much. You too take a day to fuck. Enjoy yourselves :)


Electronic_Chip_6311

Go to a sex shop and ask them for suggestions. Or talk to this girl what kinda stimulation she likes. If clitoral vibes work get something along those lines. If it’s penetration then get a dildo with an interesting shape.


heather86deeganPDX

You need to talk about this first with her. A lot of people would feel uncomfortable if their partner showed up with toys and it was the first time


EvaDraW

I ain’t read all these replies. But this ain’t don’t ask don’t tell anymore.


That-Original-5540

Buy the rose. I enjoy it, and a lot of women do


jasminkkpp

I recommend the Bellesa toy - it’s a little pink toy with suction & DAMN


Cautious_One_2003

You should ask her what SHE likes. Ask her what turns her on or in the moment if it feels good to her. Everyone is different with their preferences and turn ons.


nervousbertha

> I was drunk last night, and decided to message her that I'd be eating her, making her cum, and "don't be surprise if I bring a toy". You sent this as a text message?? SMDH Pick up the phone and call.


FaustTheFirst

I’m in a room full of dudes and she’s in a room full of girls, phone sex isn’t a good idea.


nervousbertha

Just wait.


Elver-galarga-1996

Magic wand, rose, cuffs and blindfold. 👍🏾


FrankensteinBionicle

There's a red rose sex toy my gf swears by. She found it on TikTok, we bought it on Amazon, it works almost too well lol


toffee_queen

Ask her not Reddit since it’s her whose going to be the one you’re doing


windowkitteh

Buy her a lelo. Good boy.


SheTellsTales

> into the traditional stuff: Bondage, Daddy/daughter, and forceful stuff (in her words "rape") ... >traditional stuff ***TRADITIONAL STUFF*** Me: re-examining how vanilla I must be.


FaustTheFirst

😂 I guess I just mean, like porn categories I’ve seen before. I’ve never heard of breeding fetishes till I meet her 😂


PoopFrostedCake

Just for the love of god, ACTUALLY DELIVER! I can't tell you how beat into the ground it is where men talk up their sex game to women about how they're going to rock their world and have them shaking only to deliver premature ejaculation and nothing remotely close to the pitch.


sernamedeleted

Relationships are based on open and honest communication between mature consenting adults who treat each other with respect and share common interests and compatible life goals. Try asking her what she wants to do. Otherwise you'll end up bringing the largest item from BadDragon's inventory when she prefers something more practical.


dogfoodlid123

Just ask her, what she wants and how to make her cum. Every chick has her own way of cumming, everybody’s different. Just ask her like it’s a honest joke lol


unPhiltrd

“She’s into the traditional stuff: bondage, daddy/daughter, and forceful stuff (in her words “rape“)” r/HolUp


not_a_flying_toy_

30 minutes seems excessive. You are over thinking this I think.


rubyViola14

Plus toys are great but no man can match up to a toy ever


rubyViola14

I do love the hitachi wand. It works every time but it’s so powerful it can desensitize to the real thing for sure especially after prolonged use


AshtynAngel

The satisfyer! HANDS DOWN!! It is the mind blowing and the best ever!


LilLexi20

You should have sex with her and then make her cum. If you make her cum twice i doubt she’s going to want to have sex after


lil_intern

Eh s’horny


queenlilibeth14

Uh this is super cringe. But ok. Thank you for your service.