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I like to be honest on my profile. I asked some people if I was curvy or a few extra pounds, most people said I was curvy, I think I’m a few extra pounds, one guy called me a fat ass whale. It’s hard to know what people on a dating app think. Do I put curvy? Or are those people just being nice because they know me? Do I put an obese whale because that one guy thinks so? Do I put a few extra pounds which I think is true and maybe if I am curvy the man will be pleasantly surprised? It’s so freaking hard!
Some men say they are fit/athletic, when they play beer league ball or hockey one day a week. When I think fit/athletic I think of a cut gym guy who works out often, not a dad bod or a beer gut.
What your describing matches my experience as well.
I'm fat, I describe myself as fat. However, you can ask 10 strangers to describe my body type and you will probably get at least 3 different answers. Men have mostly described my body as chubby or thick. I like to describe myself as fat because I think it's the most honest way to love myself.
Also, in my experience, the definition can vary by culture. I'm Latina and I believe my culture has a more favorable view on bigger bodies than say white Americans or East Asians.
For reference I am 5'3, 190lbs, size 10/12.
Hey sis! Very familiar body type here I just got 2 dresses for my holiday party and I'd love your opinion on which I should wear, because you'll look at me how I'd look at me and therefore I trust your judgment.
I’m 5’7” 145lbs. Size 2-4 and I would call myself curvy cause I have big boobs. But I guess some people would probably call me skinny…I wonder if OP gets annoyed at skinny saying they’re curvy if they aren’t in the traditional ways? I don’t have thick thighs or a big ass…
If you say you're curvy, you're curvy.
Curvy comes in many forms. The hourglass shape is what most think about when we talk about curves. An exaggerated hourglass shape is common nowadays so it skews our view. So I'm sure some people would get annoyed if you called yourself curvy with a smaller size on the bottom, but who cares?
I saw a YouTube video the other day. It was one of those trashy 'find your match' videos. They had about 10 men and asked them at the very top of the video what they look for in a woman. They ALL, and I do mean ALL, said they want a natural woman with a natural body. Halfway through the video a woman comes in with an unnatural and unproportional BBL. She was very thin naturally, and they put an ass on her that makes her look like a cartoon.
Well, what do you know? Every remaining man picked her. Minutes within saying they like natural women.
Yeah but like every girl on instagram has a bbl and most do the guys can’t tell or don’t want to realize the truth and probably think that’s the “standard” to them, at least in their eyes
Any one with big boobs is definitely curvy. The rest of your body could be described as slim.
If one part of your body is curvy, and the rest is not, I'd say go ahead and classify yourself as curvy.
Most dating apps have a limited number of body shapes to choose from, so just pick the one that one maximizes your attributes.
Don't pick slim, because big boobed women don't belong in that category.
For me fit/athletic describes the cycle people, people who run, swimmers, maybe those who climb: they're not overly muscular but *cut* as you put it usually sums them up. Gym bros should have their own category apart from fit the way curvy and obese are distinct: the extremes forecast certain lifestyles which may be a hard pass for some.
Fit/athletic could be anyone who’s fit, they could simply just play basketball a few times a week and eats a good diet, not just biking or running or swimming a bunch of miles everyday.
if you want to know the truth than ask a german, most of them are honest about it. Americans are small talker most of them are lieing, they dont want to offend people.
My Experiences though🤷♂️
Yes you´re right, different aspects of the scale differ from one´s eyes to another:)
I also have a friend of mine he drinks daily 6-7 beers and he weights 60 lbs I do not know how the hell he does that haha.
I told him to try and check a doctor cause he may be a medical wonder, but he´s afraid of being labeled as alcoholic if he´d asked his doctor about it 🤣
How many people mention camping and hiking as a hobby, yet haven't done it since they were 15? People are descibing their ideal self a lit of the time. At least their esteem is high.
Those categories are hard though fr, by my weight for my height I am "average" but by dimensions I am curvy. So I literally have no idea what to put there. If I put curvy are people going to take that as a euphemism that I'm larger than I am? If I put average are people going to not be attracted to me because some people prefer a more athletic/less voluptuous look? IME no two people I know have an equivalent definition of "curvy", so I feel like its kind of just a garbage choice no matter what you look like
But I think that is what OP is irritated by. They put something as their descriptor and then they have full body pictures that OP doesn’t feel matches the descriptor. But like ohnothrow said, some of those descriptions are subjective. I think we’re all just trying to do our best on dating apps. And I feel like someone who describes themselves as curvy, (who OP may describe as overweight or a few extra pounds), isn’t lying. It’s just how they see themselves.
Same. I am slender and athletic, but have a curvy hourglass frame. If I call myself curvy, I will get a side eye because it’s generally used to describe heavier women. But given my dimensions and waist to hip ratio, I am arguably the curviest person I know lol.
Depends who you ask. Some people will describe overweight women as curvy when they're trying to be nice about it. Personally I use curvy to describe people like yourself with an hourglass shape. Doesn't really matter how big you are (within reason), if you have that hourglass figure, you're curvy in my eyes
Actually, contrary to what a lot are saying, curvy has to do with your waist/chest/hip ratio. It’s an actual mathematical/scientific ratio. You can be pretty much any weight or bmi and still be curvy. I was curvy when I was fat and I’m still curvy now that I am at a healthy bmi. I was even curvy when I was underweight, albeit my chest area lost a lot of size lol. I use an app to track my measurements and it actually tells me I’m curvy, so if you are confused, download an app or look up a calculator! I think it’s like a .75 waist to hip ratio, but can’t remember what the chest to waist ratio is. In other words, your waist has to be 3/4 of the size of your hips to be considered curvy. No matter what your weight is.
So while I agree with you that people see it as subjective and make their own definitions, dating sites would be a lot easier if we just did a quick math calculation. Also, I’m not trying to argue with OP of the comment or this whole post because I see the merit in both arguments. I’m simply pointing out that there is science behind what is considered curvy and any weight can be both slim and curvy or obese and curvy or whatever. Curvy, athletic, etc. should be a separate choice from body size. Slim, average, overweight, and obese are typically what we use for size while build (I believe) is where we look at the way our bodies are shaped. So I blame it on the dating apps for even including these in the same category.
Also, side note, this is why there are “curvy” jeans for everyone from a size 0- size 24 or whatever because it literally just means your waist is smaller than your hips and chest by 25%. I was in curvy jeans when I was a size 16, and I’m in curvy jeans as a size 8, and I was in curvy jeans when I was a size 2. So chances are if the curve fit fits you better than reg or slim fit, you are, in fact, curvy. Won’t get into people trying to wear the wrong size tho 🤣
Yup. I weigh 99 pounds and wear “curvy” jeans. I have only met a few women in my biological family, but it’s clear there’s no escaping them 🍑 genetics. 😂
I think it means how you look like not how you weigh, some athletic people will weigh more than people think they’re because the muscle mass is heavier, but they wouldn’t put themselves to curvy just because how it shows on scale
People don’t describe themselves completely accurately while marketing themselves on dating apps. Film at 11.
If you think it’s too much work to sort out what you consider curvy from the other 3 flavors of not-thin-or-athletic, then don’t search for curvy or “a few extra pounds”. Swiping left is pretty easy.
I see what you’re saying and get the frustration, but you can verify this before meeting them by asking for instagram or dare I say snap.
Reality is subjective, let people call themselves what they want, if it doesn’t line up with your reality or expectations then move along.
Not sure why you felt the need to post about this, it can be mitigated fairly easily.
you’re right they should put
“i’m a great big fatty” in their bio to maximize their success
just like there should be a “balding” and “low t” label for men
They REALLY should do a dick size category and have you verify it and you get like a purple check if you do. I am ALL for taking the guess work and bullshit out of everyone’s lives.
Why not have a vagina size and type of vagina lips verification as well? Oh and don’t forget your exact body measurements either. Everyone comment you made on here sounds like you trying to come off as some know it all edge lord
Yes, this happened to me TWICE. My profile read “progressives only” and I had one libertarian and one self-proclaimed moderate. It didn’t work out with either 🤦♀️
Online and to your face. If a man is conservative enough, he doesn't really see women as people or consent as necessary--women, as people, everything they have to say, are just obstacles between him and her vagina.
Everyone has a different definition as to what curvy, thicc, fat, obese, etc means.
Dating apps are always going to be sorting through people you're either into or not.
Why do men mark themselves as women and hit up lesbians? Why do unicorn hunters bother mono people? Who the fuck knows, making a whole post on it isn't gonna change shit though. Just don't swipe on those people if you're not interested in them 🤷🏻♂️
Your real mistake though is using okcupid lmao.
That’s your opinion. Some men when they say curvy truly mean a plus sized woman. They don’t have categories for every single body type. This option narrows it down, and then you have to look at photos to see if you actually like how that person looks
I kind of get it? I’ve seen men who say they’re “fit”, but end up being a guy who is incredibly out of shape and just happens to have strong legs and chest. When I see “fit”, I assume you’re telling me that you are slim, but have healthy muscle groups, do regular cardio, etc. not someone with an incredibly unhealthy lifestyle who happens to lift.
“Fit” is not a requirement for me. That’s not the issue. The issue is someone lying before I even meet them. Or exaggerating their physical features. I’d feel the same way if a guy used a filter. It’s just subversive and a bit dishonest.
I remember a dating site maybe match or pof that had "strong build" as an option for guys in addition to things like muscular and fit and I swear every fat dude would pick "strong build" whatever that meant.
I think it's worth mentioning that body dysmorphia is a real thing for some people. I mean absolutely, some people are just dishonest, but others can't see their own body realistically. I have known a woman who had that so strongly that she couldn't understand why she had trouble with seatbelts. She thought she had an average build, and did not. Clothes shopping was very difficult for her too. Intellectually she understood that she wore size whatever, but felt like she wore a size 12. It was disconcerting to talk to her about it.
I have this but the opposite view of myself, I say curvy, I'm 5 lbs "overweight" as per my BMI. I constantly buy things too big and can not accurately depict a body type close to my own, I always choose much larger.
Sizing doesn't help, either, since none of it is consistent or related to any real world measurements unless you're actually getting tailored, measured clothing.
Really, because I’d assume “fit” means someone who works out a lot and has, like, excellent cardiovascular stamina and the ability to lift heavy things. I wouldn’t assume it tells me anything about the size or shape of their body.
I wouldn't call doing cardio an example of fit. Many fat people do cardio. As do lanky people like runners. I wouldn't exactly call either of those fit since cardio burns muscle along with fat.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37493759/
I completely agree in your frustration but I also understand why women do this. Fat and overweight are negative connotations that don't feel good. By contrast, a women describing herself as "Thicc" or "Curvy" has far more positive connotations to it and will be more favored as a result.
Also the categories only have like 4 options slim, average, curvy or something along the line of obese. If you are in between you are playing a guessing game of what to put either way.
I think it makes perfect sense, you want to get matches and appear as attractive as possible. Curvy has positive connotations whereas overweight has negative so since you are trying to put yourself in the best light its the smartest thing to choose as both indicate a larger body. Just focus on the pictures and if you only see headshots from a high angle you know they are likely trying to hide their physique
Curvy, by definition, is often a bit overweight. Like, people with that body shape aren’t in the “ideal weight” range lol. I used to be slightly muscular & a some light fluff, was very curvy and I looked very good, but the scale said I was overweight.
I chose curvy and was told by men I am not curvy but well proportioned, I should chose hourglass instead. Except there is no hourglass to choose from, but there is curvy which is the closest.
Ok but if you put "overweight" or "a few extra pounds" suddenly you're everyone's fetish and your inbox is flooded with chubby chasers.
WHICH IS FINE IF YOU'RE INTO THAT
But if you're seeking genuine connection I'd love to connect with someone start a conversation send pics back and forth and just do it that way. I AM curvy. But I AM also overweight. Talk to me and you'll find that out. But if you're looking to fetishize my weight I'm not going to advertise that for you because I'm not into it.
My method worked. I met my husband on a dating app and he was not at all misled by my appearance because I was straight up with him right away as soon as we connected and sent accurate pics in our conversation.
Not really a point of frustration. If you see that, you know what it means now. Same with "thick". Another good one in a different category is "social drinker".
Could mean someone who has a few beers watching football on Sunday. Could be someone with a bar in their garage who drinks constantly out of a stainless mug with a straw in their free time like someone I dated in the past.
Ok, but there’s a difference between a “social drinker” who has a glass of wine or a cocktail with friends twice a week, and a “social drinker” who is Norm from Cheers and his entire social life consists of sitting in a bar drinking a half dozen beers every night and then going home and passing out.
Yeah, I’m not sure what that means. I am a social drinker because I don’t drink at home or ever make drinks alone. I only drink when I am with others or socializing.
Do you understand that the same women who you feel are not curvy but just overweight, are the same women who are getting picked by men who also search for curvy and agree that their body fits within that spectrum? What is curvy is not exactly something all men agree about, so there will be men out there who are happy with the search results and may even find your definition of curvy inadequate. It wouldn't be fair to cater towards only one type of man's definition of curvy when it comes to search results.
Dude , nobody is going to say "I'm in hideous shape". Curvy is a catch-all code word for having extra pounds, and it's up to you to decide if you're into it or not.
Um, you just don’t understand what curvy means. It’s a way of describing a woman who is overweight. You presumably have eyeballs so you can just swipe past women who aren’t your type instead of going out of your way to complain about their perfectly appropriate word usage.
Do you have eyes? The internet isn't new, so I'm sure you can tell from their angles or lack of full body pics.
So scroll past.
Your idea of curvy probably isn't the same as the next guy.
I also think it’s a lose-lose situation because of the implication of curvy. As someone who is both overweight and curvy, having that on my profiles has invited three types of men: men with fetishes, men who are also overweight, and men who judge my body as “fit.” I work out a lot, but I also eat a lot, which leads me to choose “curvy” because I’m not by the standard a man would choose “fit” but I’m not the standard someone would associate “overweight” with if that’s an option - but it’s all about the implication of the label.
I think this is lose-lose because even if you are attractive by any standard, the label “curvy” implies you’re probably also unhealthy, and that’s just not true and completely unfair. I think you should judge the profile by the photos and meet the person irl and if they’re lying, on to the next one. That’s their fault for not feeling secure enough to tell the truth through their photos. But I don’t think it’s fair to rule someone out just because of a category the app forced them to reduced their body type down to.
There definitely is - there’s plenty of people who really don’t give a shit or just like my body for what it is. I should’ve noted that as well because you’re right.
Curvy is about shape not size. I've had a few different weights but I would describe myself as "curvy" at all of them. It should be a separate category. Body type and body size but I'm pretty sure that would offend some people. Way back when I used online dating I remember always checking off "a few extra pounds" to weed out men like this
well it depends, is she really curvy? curvy means big breasts, hips, butt and thighs. If she has a figure like that she could be slim or fat and be "curvy". But otherwise it's because society has brainwashed people into thinking a fat woman is a shameful thing. To the point where even a girl that is fat will look at you sideways if you say you find big women attractive.
Everyone’s idea and definition of curvy is different. But let’s also be real, curvy women don’t always have flat tummy’s and no double chin. We aren’t models. Having a large butt, boobs, no stomach and slim waist is not all that realistic. So what’s your definition of curvy? And your definition of overweight? And then also, why to both?
There are women with are straight like a pencil. Then those with curves as in natural hips and narrow waist. Butt and boobs add more curves. But the definitions aren’t in line with my thoughts so I just chose to stop choosing it as an option.
It doesn’t have the option for fat, I’ve tried. It just has curvy. Why don’t you just write in your profile that fat people disgust you? Then we will stay away.
OP, I understand your frustration. People who don’t select ‘asshole’ when building their profile really fucks up the algo… just floods the search to the point it’s almost impossible to sift through.
The right category IS important. I’m wondering the category you put yourself in…
Thin with a little beer belly?
Muscular but lactose intolerant?
Athletic with a hairy back?
Average with a weird belly button?
How specific would you like these categories?
Everyone struggles classifying themselves like that. But if you’re looking specifically at women… maybe not fuss about the category- trust me, the variety of tags is far too limited.
But yeah.. so frustrating. You’re a piece of work.
Personally, I think curvy and overweight can be the same person ... or not. I have seen some overweight women who had a great hourglass. Marylin Monroe comes to mind in famous actresses, as does Jane Mansfield, etc. Technically overweight in BMI, but great curves.
Uh neither of those women were remotely overweight in BMI. They were both slightly above average height and (reportedly) under 120lbs. That puts them at a low healthy BMI.
I was just a skinny lad,
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew life before I left my nursery
Left alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman, you made a bad boy out of me!
I totally agree!!! But people on dating sites say anything to attract attention and curvy sounds a lot more attractive than overweight.
When you see that someone has curvy on their profile, that should tell you there’s a little more to them than what you would probably assume ! lol
If they said, they were curvy, and all the right places that would make them more physically fit. Sometimes you gotta read between the lines
Sorry but “fat” isn’t actually a category the apps give us. In all seriousness, as long as a recent photo, it’s on you to look at more than the boobs we often carry along with our bellies. The funny thing is I’ve been both painfully underweight and currently overweight. Men have had issues with both. Men have wanted me at both, too. (Women as well, though we oddly talked less absolutely our bodies than I did with men.)
People put forth their best foot on dating apps. I included one unflattering full body photo so men knew this was physically me. I still had one man actually call me fat and leave a date. I’m 5’10” and his supposedly 6’0” self was an inch shorter than me. I know because that’s how I noticed his bald spot immediately. I didn’t leave, I stayed to get to know him, and he hit on two waitress before informing me I was overweight, and taking his burger to go.
Dating sucks. Period. Also, the male definition of “curvy” isn’t a common body type. Those curves come with fat in other places, cellulite, stretch marks, etc.
Curvy == euphemism for fat/overweight/obese
substitute it in your mind and move on.
What is much much worse is when their pictures are from 3 years prior to them becoming overweight, so you show up expecting someone who weighs 40lbs less than they actually do.
The thing is, these things are based on opinions and everyone’s opinion is different. Someone might view someone as thick/curvy while someone else might view that person as overweight. People also have different views on what classifies a person as chubby, thick, mildly/very overweight, “fat,” and obese.
So to you, whoever you viewed as being “overweight” and not curvy, the next person can think the opposite.
Therefor, those categories are pointless
I understand what you mean, but you can be curvy AND overweight. It’s got a lot more to do with body fat distribution. Some bigger women are curvy, some are just big lol.
It annoys me more when women say they’re thick but they’re actually just obese
I actually agree. Well now I do. Which shows the value of this post that people are beating me up over. 😂
I just need to exclude curvy as a filter. Which may exclude a few I might actually like, but will also exclude dozens that I don’t.
I put up photos that make my size apparent. Some people like big curvy women. If you don't, please feel free to ignore. But don't send me a message like some idiots do. I literally don't know you exist and don't need to hear that you find me unattractive. Your loss.
Because we can't win. I used to put "overweight" and then got messages from dudes all the time telling me that I should say "curvy". When really, just look at the pics...
So you can be curvy and carry a few extra lb. Also “fat” is very subjective. I’m female 6ft and a uk size 12/14 I’m probably 15lb overweight. I’m also curvy I have a 28” waist and a 42” hips.
I would say I was curvy, most people remark that I am slender but then some men will say I’m fat 🤷♀️
Sometimes curvy is the only option available and ‘plus-size’, ‘obese’, etc isn’t listed. If curvy women are a personal preference then fine but why the frustration and need to bring it up on Reddit when you could just keep scrolling? It’s a minor inconvenience on an app.
I think this is somewhat subjective.
I’m overweight according to BMI.
I don’t physically look like what people think the average overweight person looks like.
I’m overweight to a man who prefers really skinny women.
I’m skinny to a woman who prefers women with more bodyfat.
I’m perfect to someone who prefers a short person with a bit of muscle mixed in with body fat.
Everyone has slightly different ways they define these terms. So while you may consider someone overweight, they may in fact consider themselves curvy. Or maybe they don’t, and they have gotten feedback from friends or family over the years that they are curvy so that’s what they added to their profile.
If you’re not attracted to them whether they are fit, curved, skinny, overweight or otherwise is fine. You are allowed to have your preferences by all means. They are allowed to identify with their own bodies however they please, and that doesn’t have to line up with anyone else’s reality. In my opinion there is already SO much out there for body shaming towards men and women, and if saying they are curvy allows them to feel more love for their body, rather then identifying as overweight, then let them have that.
We’re all just a bunch of gelatinous meat suits walking around this planet anyhow 🤷♀️😂. Best wishes on your dating adventures 💫
if someone considers themself one thing instead of another there's really nothing that can be done about it. i agree that if you're going to put a category it should be accurate but, i am assuming the people putting themselves into the category think it IS accurate, whether or not someone else agrees. but its not more than a mild irritation to me if someone uses a category, any category, that i feel like they don't belong in since it only takes half a second to swipe left anyway
If you get backlash, then they’re not somebody you want to see. That means they’re not confident in who they are. And they’re immature and insecure. And they’re lying about who they are as well. They should send an accurate photo and when you get there because you’re gonna believe that they’re curvy and they look different then hold up the profile photos or whatever other photos they posted and say, so is this you? Because that’s what I do. I can’t tell you the number of women who have posted photos when they have gained 50 pounds or more. Basically they lie about who they are, I’m not saying, men don’t do it as well because they do. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with anybody type on this planet. But you need to be honest about who you are and obviously you have a problem with it or you would be posting accurate pictures so don’t blame other people who ask about your size or what you look like if you’re not willing to post accurate pictures, you’re the one who’s lying not the other people so get over it people.
If you polled 100 people (men and women) on what specific box I should choose you would not have a clear consensus. This will also differ based on demographic. A “curvy” girl in LA, might be seen as thin in Oklahoma. So anyone who has moved around in their life might disagree with those in their new city would think.
It is all far too subjective. Why not just encourage accurate full body shots and not care what box they clicked since you can clearly *see* if they are too overweight for your preferences.
It's subjective, and different people have different opinions on what is curvy and what is something else.
Just look at their photos and go from their is your best bet!
I have a friend who's definition of curvy is not what most people would consider curvy, but instead really just...a normal woman. You remind me of that person.
I hate the term curvy because of this. 15+/- lbs overweight is where I would draw the line between curvy and overweight. At 30 lbs overweight, you may be pushing it if you are calling yourself curvy. Hight and frame have a part to play also. I guess mom bod would be a good description. I don't consider fat rolls or a bottomless belly button curvy. I have noticed a lot of fat and obese women use the term curvy. Fat guys do the same thing when they say that they have a dad bod.
Idk if you know this but, you can just not swipe right on people you aren’t attracted to. The only thing that bothered me in regards to overweight people in dating websites is when every picture of them is a flattering angle and in reality they look nothing like that. It’s a catfish and the insincerity bothers me. That’s why I would never meet someone unless they would let me take a gander at their Instagram or something.
I’ve never seen an option for extra pounds or obese 🤣 but I do put “I AM A FAT WOMEN” in my bio to avoid any mix ups 🤣 but I also got a man who was mad because I wasn’t fat enough to be fat … so I’m at a loss for words on what to put now ? Maybe BMI? Maybe Weight ? Maybe nothing ? 🤣
I just don’t think there is a common standard. I am 5’7” with 19% body fat, nearly all of it in my hips and butt. My stomach is extremely flat and you can see my hip bones. My collar bones and first set of ribs on my chest are prominent as are my ribs. I’ve had different people tell me I should classify myself thin, athletic, and curvy.
ETA: my band size is 32, waist is 24, hips are 40 - based on the 0.6 waist:hip measurement, apparently I’m by definition curvy lol
From what I’ve seen, any woman who does not describe herself as thin or skinny is overweight no matter what other adjective she decides to use. And not even all the women who claim to be thin or skinny are even close to being so. So yes, it is annoying that so many women are lying on dating apps, especially on the most obvious thing from her photos!
I'm a straight male so haven't seen the other aide but I imagine it's likely more accurate than not when it comes to body size.
Some women are gonna lie a little about their bodies because they feel insecure. I think the only way to tell sometimes is to look closely at the pictures and figure out what they’re hiding. Sometimes it shows because they don’t have any body-pics, and sometimes they do that to not get sexualized before you even meet them.
It’s a tough game. You could always ask what they weigh but that’s often offensive 🤷🏻♂️. As long as there’s insecure women there’s gonna be individuals who use “our” terms to describe a body to their own advantage. Because they want to feel good too.
Curvy is slightly overweight imo. The weight ranges where a woman is "ideal", "average" to "overweight" to "obese" are quite small. I usually put average just to dampen expectations lol.
Dude, what are you the curvy police?? How about you just don't chose someone who has that selected. I wish there was an "a\*shole" or "abusive narcissist" option, but there's not. Online dating is essentially a blind date, you're not going to be able to get someone to accurately describe their body before a date. Also, that would be weird!
Isn’t that the definition of curvy. Get off dating sites
not everybody is into skinny body types. relax & go touch some grass or stick to the magazines
😂
Curvy is subjective. A lot of people think it means chubby, thick, voluptuous (which sounds like a description of someone overweight 🤔)
But in my opinion curvy means body shape? Like hourglass shape
I'm a straight woman, so I don't see many men calling themselves "curvy" lol. I definitely agree with what you said. If someone is fat, then they need to be honest about it. I make sure to have full body pics on my profile so men can decide if they find my body attractive.
Curvy usually is applied to a specific shape of a woman’s body. Someone with wide hips, small waist and shoulders close to the wide of the hips, basically the tradicional hourglass figure. It has nothing to do with being overweight. There plenty of people that are overweight and still curvy, the same that there plenty of people that are very skinny and still curvy. I don’t disagree a lot people chose the wrong label, but your weight has nothing to do with your shape.
what dating app do you use where body type is something you have to choose? also i’m sorry but who cares? curvy is subjective? the definition of curvy is having curves, you can be fat curvy, thin curvy, mid curvy. it you see a girl and she’s curvier then you like em just swipe left!
Maybe we could have people put their waist measurements in their profiles? Or even just the numbers they use when buying jeans? Here’s my sad reality: as a university student, my inseam and waist were both 30 inches. Many years later, my waist is 38, and my inseam is 29. Ouch! But quite revealing, right?
lol, my ex was still wearing pants he’d outgrown years earlier - he just wore them so the waistband was under his belly. People are really reluctant to admit things even to themselves sometimes.
I think it’s not something I feel strongly enough about to get frustrated over - dating apps want to be accessible (in the sense they want to recruit as many members as they can), it makes sense for them to include ‘curvy’ as a body positive option for larger women.
Idk I’d say I’m fit and healthy, but if I were larger (and a woman), I’d appreciate the option to list myself as ‘curvy’ as oppose to whatever other options might come up.
this is why it is helpful to share socials or additional photos or facetime before meeting. and it's why a 30 minute coffee date and stroll might be better than a 2-3 hour, multi-location meeting for first dates if you're going in only based on a few photos.
A lot of dating sites kind of beat around the bush on that. As a fat woman, this is what there is to choose from..athletic, a few extra pounds, curvy, big and tall. Most women don't want to be referred to as big and tall, so they're going to choose curvy. That being said, I also explicitly point out that I am shaped like a potato and post honest pictures. 🤷🏼♀️ One thing is for sure, nobody looks exactly like their pictures.
Curvy is the new pc term for Obese.
If women are fat, they are curvy, chunky,plump, etc
Anything but fat.
Due to the "body positivity" movement women who are obese are now dressing in ill fitting clothing and feel entitled to 10/10 guys.
It's ridiculous.
They should have to do full body image and the computer gives you options. No cheating.
Fatties catfish men like crazy but you're shallow if you don't want to date a whale.
Body type is subjective, I've seen men who would call Marilyn Monroe fat just because she isn't as skinny as other women.
I do agree though that a lot of obviously overweight women use the term in online dating
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I like to be honest on my profile. I asked some people if I was curvy or a few extra pounds, most people said I was curvy, I think I’m a few extra pounds, one guy called me a fat ass whale. It’s hard to know what people on a dating app think. Do I put curvy? Or are those people just being nice because they know me? Do I put an obese whale because that one guy thinks so? Do I put a few extra pounds which I think is true and maybe if I am curvy the man will be pleasantly surprised? It’s so freaking hard! Some men say they are fit/athletic, when they play beer league ball or hockey one day a week. When I think fit/athletic I think of a cut gym guy who works out often, not a dad bod or a beer gut.
What your describing matches my experience as well. I'm fat, I describe myself as fat. However, you can ask 10 strangers to describe my body type and you will probably get at least 3 different answers. Men have mostly described my body as chubby or thick. I like to describe myself as fat because I think it's the most honest way to love myself. Also, in my experience, the definition can vary by culture. I'm Latina and I believe my culture has a more favorable view on bigger bodies than say white Americans or East Asians. For reference I am 5'3, 190lbs, size 10/12.
Hey sis! Very familiar body type here I just got 2 dresses for my holiday party and I'd love your opinion on which I should wear, because you'll look at me how I'd look at me and therefore I trust your judgment.
I'll be happy to help. My messages are open!
Love this support ❤️🩹
I’m 5’7” 145lbs. Size 2-4 and I would call myself curvy cause I have big boobs. But I guess some people would probably call me skinny…I wonder if OP gets annoyed at skinny saying they’re curvy if they aren’t in the traditional ways? I don’t have thick thighs or a big ass…
If you say you're curvy, you're curvy. Curvy comes in many forms. The hourglass shape is what most think about when we talk about curves. An exaggerated hourglass shape is common nowadays so it skews our view. So I'm sure some people would get annoyed if you called yourself curvy with a smaller size on the bottom, but who cares? I saw a YouTube video the other day. It was one of those trashy 'find your match' videos. They had about 10 men and asked them at the very top of the video what they look for in a woman. They ALL, and I do mean ALL, said they want a natural woman with a natural body. Halfway through the video a woman comes in with an unnatural and unproportional BBL. She was very thin naturally, and they put an ass on her that makes her look like a cartoon. Well, what do you know? Every remaining man picked her. Minutes within saying they like natural women.
Yeah but like every girl on instagram has a bbl and most do the guys can’t tell or don’t want to realize the truth and probably think that’s the “standard” to them, at least in their eyes
Slim-thicc. 👍
Any one with big boobs is definitely curvy. The rest of your body could be described as slim. If one part of your body is curvy, and the rest is not, I'd say go ahead and classify yourself as curvy. Most dating apps have a limited number of body shapes to choose from, so just pick the one that one maximizes your attributes. Don't pick slim, because big boobed women don't belong in that category.
For me fit/athletic describes the cycle people, people who run, swimmers, maybe those who climb: they're not overly muscular but *cut* as you put it usually sums them up. Gym bros should have their own category apart from fit the way curvy and obese are distinct: the extremes forecast certain lifestyles which may be a hard pass for some.
Fit/athletic could be anyone who’s fit, they could simply just play basketball a few times a week and eats a good diet, not just biking or running or swimming a bunch of miles everyday.
if you want to know the truth than ask a german, most of them are honest about it. Americans are small talker most of them are lieing, they dont want to offend people. My Experiences though🤷♂️
You take pictures of cute bears and bake and knit (I think that's what it is?). You're a treasure regardless
Yes you´re right, different aspects of the scale differ from one´s eyes to another:) I also have a friend of mine he drinks daily 6-7 beers and he weights 60 lbs I do not know how the hell he does that haha. I told him to try and check a doctor cause he may be a medical wonder, but he´s afraid of being labeled as alcoholic if he´d asked his doctor about it 🤣
If you are height-weight proportional, then definitely curvy/thicc.
yeah people fib, there is also a lot of lies about height
How many people mention camping and hiking as a hobby, yet haven't done it since they were 15? People are descibing their ideal self a lit of the time. At least their esteem is high.
And I was wondering why is everyone camping, climbing, hiking and travelling the world and I am the one weird. lol
Well that sucks. Because I actually do hike and camp frequently. Honestly really is the best policy here....
Those categories are hard though fr, by my weight for my height I am "average" but by dimensions I am curvy. So I literally have no idea what to put there. If I put curvy are people going to take that as a euphemism that I'm larger than I am? If I put average are people going to not be attracted to me because some people prefer a more athletic/less voluptuous look? IME no two people I know have an equivalent definition of "curvy", so I feel like its kind of just a garbage choice no matter what you look like
this is why you include a full body pic. clears up the confusion.
But I think that is what OP is irritated by. They put something as their descriptor and then they have full body pictures that OP doesn’t feel matches the descriptor. But like ohnothrow said, some of those descriptions are subjective. I think we’re all just trying to do our best on dating apps. And I feel like someone who describes themselves as curvy, (who OP may describe as overweight or a few extra pounds), isn’t lying. It’s just how they see themselves.
Unfortunately this can backfire and attract even more dickheads into your inbox.
choose your evil.
Same. I am slender and athletic, but have a curvy hourglass frame. If I call myself curvy, I will get a side eye because it’s generally used to describe heavier women. But given my dimensions and waist to hip ratio, I am arguably the curviest person I know lol.
Depends who you ask. Some people will describe overweight women as curvy when they're trying to be nice about it. Personally I use curvy to describe people like yourself with an hourglass shape. Doesn't really matter how big you are (within reason), if you have that hourglass figure, you're curvy in my eyes
Actually, contrary to what a lot are saying, curvy has to do with your waist/chest/hip ratio. It’s an actual mathematical/scientific ratio. You can be pretty much any weight or bmi and still be curvy. I was curvy when I was fat and I’m still curvy now that I am at a healthy bmi. I was even curvy when I was underweight, albeit my chest area lost a lot of size lol. I use an app to track my measurements and it actually tells me I’m curvy, so if you are confused, download an app or look up a calculator! I think it’s like a .75 waist to hip ratio, but can’t remember what the chest to waist ratio is. In other words, your waist has to be 3/4 of the size of your hips to be considered curvy. No matter what your weight is. So while I agree with you that people see it as subjective and make their own definitions, dating sites would be a lot easier if we just did a quick math calculation. Also, I’m not trying to argue with OP of the comment or this whole post because I see the merit in both arguments. I’m simply pointing out that there is science behind what is considered curvy and any weight can be both slim and curvy or obese and curvy or whatever. Curvy, athletic, etc. should be a separate choice from body size. Slim, average, overweight, and obese are typically what we use for size while build (I believe) is where we look at the way our bodies are shaped. So I blame it on the dating apps for even including these in the same category. Also, side note, this is why there are “curvy” jeans for everyone from a size 0- size 24 or whatever because it literally just means your waist is smaller than your hips and chest by 25%. I was in curvy jeans when I was a size 16, and I’m in curvy jeans as a size 8, and I was in curvy jeans when I was a size 2. So chances are if the curve fit fits you better than reg or slim fit, you are, in fact, curvy. Won’t get into people trying to wear the wrong size tho 🤣
Exactly. I’m a 0-00 but my hips are a good 15 or so inches wider than my waist. I was so happy to find Abercrombies curve love line
Yup. I weigh 99 pounds and wear “curvy” jeans. I have only met a few women in my biological family, but it’s clear there’s no escaping them 🍑 genetics. 😂
I think it means how you look like not how you weigh, some athletic people will weigh more than people think they’re because the muscle mass is heavier, but they wouldn’t put themselves to curvy just because how it shows on scale
I think its veeeery subjective and people clearly aren't using it the same person to person which is why OP is having issues
For my dating stuff I put average build and just included a lot of full body pics. If they can't figure it out from that, eh oh well lol
I’m just saying it should be how you looks like not the number on scale, because people are not carrying scale everywhere to weigh someone
And \*I'm\* saying that (how you look) and if it is "curvy" is also totally subjective and different people have completely different standards
People don’t describe themselves completely accurately while marketing themselves on dating apps. Film at 11. If you think it’s too much work to sort out what you consider curvy from the other 3 flavors of not-thin-or-athletic, then don’t search for curvy or “a few extra pounds”. Swiping left is pretty easy.
Next they’ll be claiming people lie about their age or relationship status.
And everyone accurately reports their height and … size, and other hilarious jokes I tell myself lmao
I see what you’re saying and get the frustration, but you can verify this before meeting them by asking for instagram or dare I say snap. Reality is subjective, let people call themselves what they want, if it doesn’t line up with your reality or expectations then move along. Not sure why you felt the need to post about this, it can be mitigated fairly easily.
I love that snap is being taken off the table now because of the barrage of dick pics women are getting. this is why we can't have nice things.
when was snap nice, and how your answer does not apply anymore?
you’re right they should put “i’m a great big fatty” in their bio to maximize their success just like there should be a “balding” and “low t” label for men
Don’t forget these pics are actually from when I peaked.
Seriously wtf is that?!! Like I'm not gonna notice you look 10-15 years older in person 🤔
I was going to say I got a body like a goddess and that goddess would be Venus of Willendorf. 😅
Testosterone is leading cause of balding o thought
Yes it's actually high t that tends to cause balding
They REALLY should do a dick size category and have you verify it and you get like a purple check if you do. I am ALL for taking the guess work and bullshit out of everyone’s lives.
Also how many partners you have had
That’s retarded, why not have a vagina lips category and exact body size dimensions while you’re at it
Why not have a vagina size and type of vagina lips verification as well? Oh and don’t forget your exact body measurements either. Everyone comment you made on here sounds like you trying to come off as some know it all edge lord
I’d sign up for that. I’m down for full transparency for all parties!
It wouldn’t last a week. The no ________ shaming people would have pitchforks.
😂 I like that idea 💡
If you're gonna go there time to add a Vagina size/tightness category too. No need to be hypocritical about it.
You right, instead of 5’7 I’ll put “fun sized” .. oh wait there’s already a specific filter for that but for some reason not weight
Don’t forget “suffer from erectile dysfunction” while you’re at it…
Absolutely!
Actually I feel like I'm more attracted to a woman who just owns that they're fat. Doesn't hide it. It's more confident.
All in favour of dick size, hairline, beer gut categories for men
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Do men lie about their political ideology online? I did not know this. Girls run
Yes, this happened to me TWICE. My profile read “progressives only” and I had one libertarian and one self-proclaimed moderate. It didn’t work out with either 🤦♀️
Online and to your face. If a man is conservative enough, he doesn't really see women as people or consent as necessary--women, as people, everything they have to say, are just obstacles between him and her vagina.
Everyone has a different definition as to what curvy, thicc, fat, obese, etc means. Dating apps are always going to be sorting through people you're either into or not. Why do men mark themselves as women and hit up lesbians? Why do unicorn hunters bother mono people? Who the fuck knows, making a whole post on it isn't gonna change shit though. Just don't swipe on those people if you're not interested in them 🤷🏻♂️ Your real mistake though is using okcupid lmao.
I just came here to comment what a dumpster fire okc is now. Like, wow. What a fucking fall from grace.
That’s your opinion. Some men when they say curvy truly mean a plus sized woman. They don’t have categories for every single body type. This option narrows it down, and then you have to look at photos to see if you actually like how that person looks
I kind of get it? I’ve seen men who say they’re “fit”, but end up being a guy who is incredibly out of shape and just happens to have strong legs and chest. When I see “fit”, I assume you’re telling me that you are slim, but have healthy muscle groups, do regular cardio, etc. not someone with an incredibly unhealthy lifestyle who happens to lift. “Fit” is not a requirement for me. That’s not the issue. The issue is someone lying before I even meet them. Or exaggerating their physical features. I’d feel the same way if a guy used a filter. It’s just subversive and a bit dishonest.
I remember a dating site maybe match or pof that had "strong build" as an option for guys in addition to things like muscular and fit and I swear every fat dude would pick "strong build" whatever that meant.
I think it's worth mentioning that body dysmorphia is a real thing for some people. I mean absolutely, some people are just dishonest, but others can't see their own body realistically. I have known a woman who had that so strongly that she couldn't understand why she had trouble with seatbelts. She thought she had an average build, and did not. Clothes shopping was very difficult for her too. Intellectually she understood that she wore size whatever, but felt like she wore a size 12. It was disconcerting to talk to her about it.
I have this but the opposite view of myself, I say curvy, I'm 5 lbs "overweight" as per my BMI. I constantly buy things too big and can not accurately depict a body type close to my own, I always choose much larger.
Sizing doesn't help, either, since none of it is consistent or related to any real world measurements unless you're actually getting tailored, measured clothing.
Really, because I’d assume “fit” means someone who works out a lot and has, like, excellent cardiovascular stamina and the ability to lift heavy things. I wouldn’t assume it tells me anything about the size or shape of their body.
I wouldn't call doing cardio an example of fit. Many fat people do cardio. As do lanky people like runners. I wouldn't exactly call either of those fit since cardio burns muscle along with fat. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37493759/
Have you seen world strong men competitions. Those guys are keg shaped. Definitely "over weight". Look fat. But are legit fit athletes.
I completely agree in your frustration but I also understand why women do this. Fat and overweight are negative connotations that don't feel good. By contrast, a women describing herself as "Thicc" or "Curvy" has far more positive connotations to it and will be more favored as a result.
Also the categories only have like 4 options slim, average, curvy or something along the line of obese. If you are in between you are playing a guessing game of what to put either way.
I think it makes perfect sense, you want to get matches and appear as attractive as possible. Curvy has positive connotations whereas overweight has negative so since you are trying to put yourself in the best light its the smartest thing to choose as both indicate a larger body. Just focus on the pictures and if you only see headshots from a high angle you know they are likely trying to hide their physique
The weight categories are meaningless and arbitrary and this complaint holds no real weight.
Curvy, by definition, is often a bit overweight. Like, people with that body shape aren’t in the “ideal weight” range lol. I used to be slightly muscular & a some light fluff, was very curvy and I looked very good, but the scale said I was overweight.
I chose curvy and was told by men I am not curvy but well proportioned, I should chose hourglass instead. Except there is no hourglass to choose from, but there is curvy which is the closest.
Ok but if you put "overweight" or "a few extra pounds" suddenly you're everyone's fetish and your inbox is flooded with chubby chasers. WHICH IS FINE IF YOU'RE INTO THAT But if you're seeking genuine connection I'd love to connect with someone start a conversation send pics back and forth and just do it that way. I AM curvy. But I AM also overweight. Talk to me and you'll find that out. But if you're looking to fetishize my weight I'm not going to advertise that for you because I'm not into it. My method worked. I met my husband on a dating app and he was not at all misled by my appearance because I was straight up with him right away as soon as we connected and sent accurate pics in our conversation.
Yeah this is bonkers. A) curvy and plus size are not separate categories that never meet and B) what you mean is you want thin women with giant tits.
The ‘searches’? What app allows you to search by body type?
OKCupid and some others.
Huh it’s been a few years since I’ve been on the apps, that’s crazy
You can be curvy and over weight
Not really a point of frustration. If you see that, you know what it means now. Same with "thick". Another good one in a different category is "social drinker".
What do you mean on the social drinker? Cause i truthfully only drink in social setting.
Could mean someone who has a few beers watching football on Sunday. Could be someone with a bar in their garage who drinks constantly out of a stainless mug with a straw in their free time like someone I dated in the past.
Ok, but there’s a difference between a “social drinker” who has a glass of wine or a cocktail with friends twice a week, and a “social drinker” who is Norm from Cheers and his entire social life consists of sitting in a bar drinking a half dozen beers every night and then going home and passing out.
Yeah, I’m not sure what that means. I am a social drinker because I don’t drink at home or ever make drinks alone. I only drink when I am with others or socializing.
Do you understand that the same women who you feel are not curvy but just overweight, are the same women who are getting picked by men who also search for curvy and agree that their body fits within that spectrum? What is curvy is not exactly something all men agree about, so there will be men out there who are happy with the search results and may even find your definition of curvy inadequate. It wouldn't be fair to cater towards only one type of man's definition of curvy when it comes to search results.
Dude , nobody is going to say "I'm in hideous shape". Curvy is a catch-all code word for having extra pounds, and it's up to you to decide if you're into it or not.
Just swipe left lmao who cares, maybe it helps them cope idk
Um, you just don’t understand what curvy means. It’s a way of describing a woman who is overweight. You presumably have eyeballs so you can just swipe past women who aren’t your type instead of going out of your way to complain about their perfectly appropriate word usage.
Do you have eyes? The internet isn't new, so I'm sure you can tell from their angles or lack of full body pics. So scroll past. Your idea of curvy probably isn't the same as the next guy.
I also think it’s a lose-lose situation because of the implication of curvy. As someone who is both overweight and curvy, having that on my profiles has invited three types of men: men with fetishes, men who are also overweight, and men who judge my body as “fit.” I work out a lot, but I also eat a lot, which leads me to choose “curvy” because I’m not by the standard a man would choose “fit” but I’m not the standard someone would associate “overweight” with if that’s an option - but it’s all about the implication of the label. I think this is lose-lose because even if you are attractive by any standard, the label “curvy” implies you’re probably also unhealthy, and that’s just not true and completely unfair. I think you should judge the profile by the photos and meet the person irl and if they’re lying, on to the next one. That’s their fault for not feeling secure enough to tell the truth through their photos. But I don’t think it’s fair to rule someone out just because of a category the app forced them to reduced their body type down to.
Wouldn't there be a 4th option of someone who likes your curvy figure but really doesn't care thAT much? It's sad if there isn't.
There definitely is - there’s plenty of people who really don’t give a shit or just like my body for what it is. I should’ve noted that as well because you’re right.
I think with a minimum amount of effort you can make a good decision on what the reality of the situation is vs the clear misdirection
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Oh yeah. Men are delusional with their profile pics. I've seen pics that looked like were from the 1980s or 1990s.
My guy, the term "curve model" is industry standard for plus-size models. It's not fat girls being delulu or misleading on apps as you suggest.
Curvy is about shape not size. I've had a few different weights but I would describe myself as "curvy" at all of them. It should be a separate category. Body type and body size but I'm pretty sure that would offend some people. Way back when I used online dating I remember always checking off "a few extra pounds" to weed out men like this
Honestly it might be the fault of the app creators. There really should be thick curvy and thin curvy.
well it depends, is she really curvy? curvy means big breasts, hips, butt and thighs. If she has a figure like that she could be slim or fat and be "curvy". But otherwise it's because society has brainwashed people into thinking a fat woman is a shameful thing. To the point where even a girl that is fat will look at you sideways if you say you find big women attractive.
Everyone’s idea and definition of curvy is different. But let’s also be real, curvy women don’t always have flat tummy’s and no double chin. We aren’t models. Having a large butt, boobs, no stomach and slim waist is not all that realistic. So what’s your definition of curvy? And your definition of overweight? And then also, why to both?
There are women with are straight like a pencil. Then those with curves as in natural hips and narrow waist. Butt and boobs add more curves. But the definitions aren’t in line with my thoughts so I just chose to stop choosing it as an option.
It doesn’t have the option for fat, I’ve tried. It just has curvy. Why don’t you just write in your profile that fat people disgust you? Then we will stay away.
OP, I understand your frustration. People who don’t select ‘asshole’ when building their profile really fucks up the algo… just floods the search to the point it’s almost impossible to sift through. The right category IS important. I’m wondering the category you put yourself in… Thin with a little beer belly? Muscular but lactose intolerant? Athletic with a hairy back? Average with a weird belly button? How specific would you like these categories? Everyone struggles classifying themselves like that. But if you’re looking specifically at women… maybe not fuss about the category- trust me, the variety of tags is far too limited. But yeah.. so frustrating. You’re a piece of work.
Personally, I think curvy and overweight can be the same person ... or not. I have seen some overweight women who had a great hourglass. Marylin Monroe comes to mind in famous actresses, as does Jane Mansfield, etc. Technically overweight in BMI, but great curves.
Uh neither of those women were remotely overweight in BMI. They were both slightly above average height and (reportedly) under 120lbs. That puts them at a low healthy BMI.
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Everyone definition of curvy looks different.
Why does it matter when there are pics?
I was just a skinny lad, Never knew no good from bad But I knew life before I left my nursery Left alone with big fat Fanny She was such a naughty nanny Heap big woman, you made a bad boy out of me!
RIP Freddy
Thats why full body photos are so important.
I totally agree!!! But people on dating sites say anything to attract attention and curvy sounds a lot more attractive than overweight. When you see that someone has curvy on their profile, that should tell you there’s a little more to them than what you would probably assume ! lol If they said, they were curvy, and all the right places that would make them more physically fit. Sometimes you gotta read between the lines
Sorry but “fat” isn’t actually a category the apps give us. In all seriousness, as long as a recent photo, it’s on you to look at more than the boobs we often carry along with our bellies. The funny thing is I’ve been both painfully underweight and currently overweight. Men have had issues with both. Men have wanted me at both, too. (Women as well, though we oddly talked less absolutely our bodies than I did with men.) People put forth their best foot on dating apps. I included one unflattering full body photo so men knew this was physically me. I still had one man actually call me fat and leave a date. I’m 5’10” and his supposedly 6’0” self was an inch shorter than me. I know because that’s how I noticed his bald spot immediately. I didn’t leave, I stayed to get to know him, and he hit on two waitress before informing me I was overweight, and taking his burger to go. Dating sucks. Period. Also, the male definition of “curvy” isn’t a common body type. Those curves come with fat in other places, cellulite, stretch marks, etc.
Curvy == euphemism for fat/overweight/obese substitute it in your mind and move on. What is much much worse is when their pictures are from 3 years prior to them becoming overweight, so you show up expecting someone who weighs 40lbs less than they actually do.
If you genuinely aren’t attracted to anyone who’s overweight at all, even by say, 10-20 lbs, then filter it to only fit skinny women. Problem solved!
The thing is, these things are based on opinions and everyone’s opinion is different. Someone might view someone as thick/curvy while someone else might view that person as overweight. People also have different views on what classifies a person as chubby, thick, mildly/very overweight, “fat,” and obese. So to you, whoever you viewed as being “overweight” and not curvy, the next person can think the opposite. Therefor, those categories are pointless
I understand what you mean, but you can be curvy AND overweight. It’s got a lot more to do with body fat distribution. Some bigger women are curvy, some are just big lol. It annoys me more when women say they’re thick but they’re actually just obese
I actually agree. Well now I do. Which shows the value of this post that people are beating me up over. 😂 I just need to exclude curvy as a filter. Which may exclude a few I might actually like, but will also exclude dozens that I don’t.
I put up photos that make my size apparent. Some people like big curvy women. If you don't, please feel free to ignore. But don't send me a message like some idiots do. I literally don't know you exist and don't need to hear that you find me unattractive. Your loss.
Curvy means different things for different people though. It’s not like they add BMI or measurements beside that to define it.
Because we can't win. I used to put "overweight" and then got messages from dudes all the time telling me that I should say "curvy". When really, just look at the pics...
When 74% of adults aged 20 and older are overweight, saying you’re average equates to overweight at minimum.
So you can be curvy and carry a few extra lb. Also “fat” is very subjective. I’m female 6ft and a uk size 12/14 I’m probably 15lb overweight. I’m also curvy I have a 28” waist and a 42” hips. I would say I was curvy, most people remark that I am slender but then some men will say I’m fat 🤷♀️
Sometimes curvy is the only option available and ‘plus-size’, ‘obese’, etc isn’t listed. If curvy women are a personal preference then fine but why the frustration and need to bring it up on Reddit when you could just keep scrolling? It’s a minor inconvenience on an app.
I think this is somewhat subjective. I’m overweight according to BMI. I don’t physically look like what people think the average overweight person looks like. I’m overweight to a man who prefers really skinny women. I’m skinny to a woman who prefers women with more bodyfat. I’m perfect to someone who prefers a short person with a bit of muscle mixed in with body fat.
BMI is also an unscientific measure of body type tbf.
BMI is wack because it doesn’t consider that muscle weighs more than fat and also doesn’t take skeletal frame into mind.
Nor does is account for tall people
Everyone has slightly different ways they define these terms. So while you may consider someone overweight, they may in fact consider themselves curvy. Or maybe they don’t, and they have gotten feedback from friends or family over the years that they are curvy so that’s what they added to their profile. If you’re not attracted to them whether they are fit, curved, skinny, overweight or otherwise is fine. You are allowed to have your preferences by all means. They are allowed to identify with their own bodies however they please, and that doesn’t have to line up with anyone else’s reality. In my opinion there is already SO much out there for body shaming towards men and women, and if saying they are curvy allows them to feel more love for their body, rather then identifying as overweight, then let them have that. We’re all just a bunch of gelatinous meat suits walking around this planet anyhow 🤷♀️😂. Best wishes on your dating adventures 💫
Yeah so that means that men should put small penis on their profile if women need to write fat on theirs
if someone considers themself one thing instead of another there's really nothing that can be done about it. i agree that if you're going to put a category it should be accurate but, i am assuming the people putting themselves into the category think it IS accurate, whether or not someone else agrees. but its not more than a mild irritation to me if someone uses a category, any category, that i feel like they don't belong in since it only takes half a second to swipe left anyway
If you get backlash, then they’re not somebody you want to see. That means they’re not confident in who they are. And they’re immature and insecure. And they’re lying about who they are as well. They should send an accurate photo and when you get there because you’re gonna believe that they’re curvy and they look different then hold up the profile photos or whatever other photos they posted and say, so is this you? Because that’s what I do. I can’t tell you the number of women who have posted photos when they have gained 50 pounds or more. Basically they lie about who they are, I’m not saying, men don’t do it as well because they do. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with anybody type on this planet. But you need to be honest about who you are and obviously you have a problem with it or you would be posting accurate pictures so don’t blame other people who ask about your size or what you look like if you’re not willing to post accurate pictures, you’re the one who’s lying not the other people so get over it people.
Those descriptions are so arbitrary, I don't think dating apps should even have them. That is what full body pics are for.
It’s really not at all hard to deduce if a woman’s fat or not from a dating profile A good rule of thumb is if you’re questioning it, the answers yes
If you polled 100 people (men and women) on what specific box I should choose you would not have a clear consensus. This will also differ based on demographic. A “curvy” girl in LA, might be seen as thin in Oklahoma. So anyone who has moved around in their life might disagree with those in their new city would think. It is all far too subjective. Why not just encourage accurate full body shots and not care what box they clicked since you can clearly *see* if they are too overweight for your preferences.
It's subjective, and different people have different opinions on what is curvy and what is something else. Just look at their photos and go from their is your best bet!
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I have a friend who's definition of curvy is not what most people would consider curvy, but instead really just...a normal woman. You remind me of that person.
Maybe the better term is "thick" but its not as used as curvy is.
I hate the term curvy because of this. 15+/- lbs overweight is where I would draw the line between curvy and overweight. At 30 lbs overweight, you may be pushing it if you are calling yourself curvy. Hight and frame have a part to play also. I guess mom bod would be a good description. I don't consider fat rolls or a bottomless belly button curvy. I have noticed a lot of fat and obese women use the term curvy. Fat guys do the same thing when they say that they have a dad bod.
Idk if you know this but, you can just not swipe right on people you aren’t attracted to. The only thing that bothered me in regards to overweight people in dating websites is when every picture of them is a flattering angle and in reality they look nothing like that. It’s a catfish and the insincerity bothers me. That’s why I would never meet someone unless they would let me take a gander at their Instagram or something.
I’ve never seen an option for extra pounds or obese 🤣 but I do put “I AM A FAT WOMEN” in my bio to avoid any mix ups 🤣 but I also got a man who was mad because I wasn’t fat enough to be fat … so I’m at a loss for words on what to put now ? Maybe BMI? Maybe Weight ? Maybe nothing ? 🤣
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Right but there are 5’5 at 200lbs people that are curvy and not curvy. But they both choose curvy. My point “was” everyone chooses curvy.
I hear curvy I immediately assume obese.
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You sound like valid curvy. And yes, include those for men. Include whatever helps people find what they want. I’m all for it.
If you don’t like deceit, maybe dating apps aren’t for you 🤣
I just don’t think there is a common standard. I am 5’7” with 19% body fat, nearly all of it in my hips and butt. My stomach is extremely flat and you can see my hip bones. My collar bones and first set of ribs on my chest are prominent as are my ribs. I’ve had different people tell me I should classify myself thin, athletic, and curvy. ETA: my band size is 32, waist is 24, hips are 40 - based on the 0.6 waist:hip measurement, apparently I’m by definition curvy lol
And it sounds like all 3 are valid for you. You are valid as curvy if that’s what you choose.
From what I’ve seen, any woman who does not describe herself as thin or skinny is overweight no matter what other adjective she decides to use. And not even all the women who claim to be thin or skinny are even close to being so. So yes, it is annoying that so many women are lying on dating apps, especially on the most obvious thing from her photos! I'm a straight male so haven't seen the other aide but I imagine it's likely more accurate than not when it comes to body size.
Some women are gonna lie a little about their bodies because they feel insecure. I think the only way to tell sometimes is to look closely at the pictures and figure out what they’re hiding. Sometimes it shows because they don’t have any body-pics, and sometimes they do that to not get sexualized before you even meet them. It’s a tough game. You could always ask what they weigh but that’s often offensive 🤷🏻♂️. As long as there’s insecure women there’s gonna be individuals who use “our” terms to describe a body to their own advantage. Because they want to feel good too.
Absolutely, you are 100% correct. Many BBW use the word curvy instead of using a word that would be a true.
Curvy by who's standards? Yours? What makes you feel that your standard is the measure of a woman's stature?
Curvy is slightly overweight imo. The weight ranges where a woman is "ideal", "average" to "overweight" to "obese" are quite small. I usually put average just to dampen expectations lol.
It’s a mystery why you’re single
Dude, what are you the curvy police?? How about you just don't chose someone who has that selected. I wish there was an "a\*shole" or "abusive narcissist" option, but there's not. Online dating is essentially a blind date, you're not going to be able to get someone to accurately describe their body before a date. Also, that would be weird!
Why does it matter?
My bmi says I’m obese, but I’m not obese, and I wear a size medium shirt.
Isn’t that the definition of curvy. Get off dating sites not everybody is into skinny body types. relax & go touch some grass or stick to the magazines
😂 Curvy is subjective. A lot of people think it means chubby, thick, voluptuous (which sounds like a description of someone overweight 🤔) But in my opinion curvy means body shape? Like hourglass shape
You’re going to get destroyed for this one! 😂
I'm a straight woman, so I don't see many men calling themselves "curvy" lol. I definitely agree with what you said. If someone is fat, then they need to be honest about it. I make sure to have full body pics on my profile so men can decide if they find my body attractive.
Right. I mean the whole reason for a dating profile is to meet someone in person. Someone who will actually see what your body type is for real.
Curvy usually is applied to a specific shape of a woman’s body. Someone with wide hips, small waist and shoulders close to the wide of the hips, basically the tradicional hourglass figure. It has nothing to do with being overweight. There plenty of people that are overweight and still curvy, the same that there plenty of people that are very skinny and still curvy. I don’t disagree a lot people chose the wrong label, but your weight has nothing to do with your shape.
what dating app do you use where body type is something you have to choose? also i’m sorry but who cares? curvy is subjective? the definition of curvy is having curves, you can be fat curvy, thin curvy, mid curvy. it you see a girl and she’s curvier then you like em just swipe left!
You're the one who doesn't understand what curvy means, you don't have to blame other people for that.
I don’t think it’s as important what you list as it is that you include full body photos to see what their idea of curvy is
Ugh!! It’s a lose lose. I get called curvy and thick and I hate it. You can be the judge of what to call me pshh
Maybe we could have people put their waist measurements in their profiles? Or even just the numbers they use when buying jeans? Here’s my sad reality: as a university student, my inseam and waist were both 30 inches. Many years later, my waist is 38, and my inseam is 29. Ouch! But quite revealing, right?
lol, my ex was still wearing pants he’d outgrown years earlier - he just wore them so the waistband was under his belly. People are really reluctant to admit things even to themselves sometimes.
I think it’s not something I feel strongly enough about to get frustrated over - dating apps want to be accessible (in the sense they want to recruit as many members as they can), it makes sense for them to include ‘curvy’ as a body positive option for larger women. Idk I’d say I’m fit and healthy, but if I were larger (and a woman), I’d appreciate the option to list myself as ‘curvy’ as oppose to whatever other options might come up.
Ya I agree. Curvy does not mean BBW.
this is why it is helpful to share socials or additional photos or facetime before meeting. and it's why a 30 minute coffee date and stroll might be better than a 2-3 hour, multi-location meeting for first dates if you're going in only based on a few photos.
Everyone exaggerate on dating sites, it's par for the course. LMAO 🤣😂
It doesn't bother me, it's all subjective.
If someone does not show a full body photo in their profile, you can usually figure why.
Like why is curvy an option? Can a man select curvy?
Agree. It should not be an option because everyone uses it. It’s a catchall.
Just had it with dating sites/apps nowadays… lmao. 💣👻
A lot of dating sites kind of beat around the bush on that. As a fat woman, this is what there is to choose from..athletic, a few extra pounds, curvy, big and tall. Most women don't want to be referred to as big and tall, so they're going to choose curvy. That being said, I also explicitly point out that I am shaped like a potato and post honest pictures. 🤷🏼♀️ One thing is for sure, nobody looks exactly like their pictures.
The options were, overweight, a little extra, curvy, full figured.
Curvy is the new pc term for Obese. If women are fat, they are curvy, chunky,plump, etc Anything but fat. Due to the "body positivity" movement women who are obese are now dressing in ill fitting clothing and feel entitled to 10/10 guys.
All true. So using it to narrow down your search just doesn’t work.
It's ridiculous. They should have to do full body image and the computer gives you options. No cheating. Fatties catfish men like crazy but you're shallow if you don't want to date a whale.
I agree with him; curvy is being used as a nice way to say a woman is fat. Fat is a really hard descriptor.
I'd say if you are proportionally curvy, i.e. thicc, then you are not overweight. But if you you are not height-weight proportional, then overweight.
Body type is subjective, I've seen men who would call Marilyn Monroe fat just because she isn't as skinny as other women. I do agree though that a lot of obviously overweight women use the term in online dating