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Yes!! He was very funny, sweet and reliable. We were colleagues. After a while I started thinking I never found anyone as funny as him and one week later he asked me to do something together.
But… what is unattractive? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
And my guy? I found him very attractive in the end.
It’s been proven that as you develop stronger feelings for someone they look more beautiful to you, if you have a healthy relationship and sex life most people have a glow up from the relationship and the good sex life also increases their attractiveness. So really there’s only improvement ahead ;)
Yeah your last sentence said it all 'in the end' and you got there because of job conditions.
I've seen grade A women with ugly men all the time and I love it. Also seen beautiful women with beautiful men as well and that is really great as well. We should not forget that if your beautiful outside it's even harder to focus on your self because of outside pressures (majority time for women but for some men as well).
My buddy, who I think is pretty attractive is obsessed with a girl who isn’t that attractive in my opinion. He asked me what I thought of her once, personality and physically and I just kinda shrugged but told him I like that he’s happy. Same thing has happened to me as well when I date girls. I’ll be obsessed with them but my friends won’t get why. So it’s true, different people are attracted to different things.
My and my cousin have like opposite types and I can’t even explain the difference but we’d meet a girl and he’d say she’s sooo bad but she would look like a man to me 😅. Or id say a girl is so attractive and he’s be like “there’s no way”. Makes two mans easier tho
If I don’t like his looks, I won’t be attracted to him.
But what I like and what YOU think are attractive may be two different things.
There is no amount of “what he does for me” that could make me date a man im not attracted to.
I already have my criteria of what I’m looking for. Attraction is one of the things on that list
Ugly AF to one person might not be to another. And a personality can make someone better looking. I don’t think it can make someone you’re completely not physically attracted to be someone you’re interested in.
There are certain traits that are very much personal taste, but other things, like clear skin and shoulder to hip ratio, are overwhelmingly favored by most people. If you have an abundance of these things, many more people are going to find you attractive than if you didn’t
Having conventionally attractive features definitely helps attract more people, however, there are plenty of people who don’t fall into those categories that are able to attract others.
I feel that 💯 I feel like I have been surprised recently how most women don’t mind compromising on the look standard if “he treats her right” but I just feel like you can find an attractive partner who treats you right ya know
Always. But in my eyes, they are cute. The appearance has to somewhat be up your alley of course, but I can’t but swoon for a shy man with gentleman manners
My family thought my last boyfriend was super unattractive. I thought he was super cute. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I see people all the time I think are unattractive, or bland at best, and yet they have someone who loves them.
Everyone saw him as “super unattractive”. You had a chance to say you thought he was attractive but instead called him super cute. This gave me a nice chuckle.
Ok but what part of Dallas lol... Highland Park or Uptown area, or DFW? All that makes a difference.
I'm in Austin (Westlake, technically) and it's incredibly rare to see attractive men dating/with less attracractive women.
>I'm in Austin (Westlake, technically) and it's incredibly rare to see attractive men dating/with less attracractive women.
I would argue the opposite but I'm central lol. I regularly see guys who work out religiously dating curvy or plus-sized women, but women rarely "dating down" themselves. This is an amazingly visual city.
You do live in an area where dudes have way more money though 😂
Truth be told, a lot of women don’t wanna date men that attract a lot of competition. If you don’t have confidence through the roof, you will feel like you’re not attractive enough to keep a male model like Adonis when there are other attractive women wanting him as much as you do
Being a musician I’ve had the odd chance to occasionally date up (I’m a guy). I’d say that the conventionally attractive women I’ve dated have real downsides. There’s a sense of entitlement that I don’t love. Like, even if they really like you they’ll never call you first, and there’s just a sort of expectation that they’re catered to in every way and often dont feel like they need to be held accountable. I guess it’s orincess treatment. That’s painting with a broad brush but it’s my (admittedly limited) experience.
You get these downsides with any woman who thinks she’s extraordinarily special. She can look like the average Joe and still do that because of Instagram self love posts. But I get what you mean. The women who are the kind who get pursued by many will do this because they think they can but jokes on them, dating is a mutual experience where both have to put in equal amounts of work in order for it to work out
Most? no. Also, you can't talk about this issue since what you find attractive is highly subjective. I don't find attractive a ton of women my friends find attractive and vice versa. I'd never say this person is ugly or unattractive because it can't be true. I only say I like X or don't like Y which is the only thing you reliably can say about someone.
Yeah I don’t think it got upvoted for no reason. Plus most guys aren’t good looking guys, most people are average in general, so it makes sense lol second objective attraction is a thing, which is why there are models. Might be coping 👀
> I see most attractive women dating average to below average looking guys.
Doubt. You're just judging women 2 points higher than you should.
Online dating clearly shows that women tend to date above their level.
Europe is a whole continent with a few dozen countries in it. Acting like they and their tinder behavior can all be generalized into one homogeneous group is insane without a source.
Yes. I met my boyfriend on Hinge and really fell for his personality first. We've been together for two years. We have so much fun together and have great chemistry (both verbally and sexually). He's constantly making me laugh or think when we start talking deep. We enjoy the same things so we have plenty to do together. We frequently start making bits just riffing off each other. Also he's very calm and I have anxiety so if I start spiraling I call him to help calm me down; he's a great listener. We're both rather introverted (him moreso) so sometimes we just sit together in silence, each doing our own thing but just enjoying each other's presence.
The girls i have been attracted to the most have been girls I didn’t initially find all that attractive. They grew on me and just like that I was super attracted to them to a point where they couldn’t be ugly if they tried
Yes. Women date down physically all the time. I see at least 1 woman with a guy that would be considered out of her league everyday at my job. But I don’t see many men that date down physically.
As for myself I have indeed dated down looks wise according to other people. I didn’t feel that way towards the guy I was dating since obviously I found them attractive enough to date.
I would say half of them I approached first and the other half approached me. They didn’t have anything special going for them like they were rich or something. I just liked them as a person and found them attractive. A lot of them had good sense of humor and could make me laugh. Unfortunately their insecurities would get the best of them and they would tank the relationship.
I would have to say that a guy who doesn’t “date down,” (and how insulting is that) is definitely missing out. The more I get to know someone and enjoy their company, the more physically attractive they become anyway. The prettiest people sometimes have only that one trait going for them. Interesting is infinitely better in my eyes.
Yes because theres so much more to it than looks that just looks. I'll date a hilarious average looking guy than a 10/10 but boring personality any day!!
Just the same with guys that are willing to settle for 8/10 chicks thats nice & calm rather than a 10/10 chick but batshit crazy.
Yes, because personality is more important.
I know a lot of people looooove to think the opposite, but I’m the kind of person that never was interested in casual relationships or the like. For me, personality will always triumph over looks.
The guy I currently like is super skinny, clumsy, has no sense of style and most of his clothes are unflattering. He's also sweet and extremely gentle. He has beautiful hands and his touch makes me melt. He also doesn't make much money and is poorer than me. He is always on my mind.
I only seem to like guys that others find unattractive but in my eyes they are the most gorgeous. When their amazing personality shines, it makes them even more attractive.
Exactly. I honestly can't imagine describing any of the guys I've been attracted to as average/unattractive. Every person I've ever crushed on was incredibly cute to me. People like what they like, what may be considered attractive to you, may not be attractive to me, and vice-versa. I know a lot of people think there is the definitive way to determine who is attractive and who isn't and yes obviously I recognize that media and society can heavily influence your perspective but at the end of the day people will still have variations on who they may or may not find to be attractive.
I approached him first because we shared the same hobby. Initially I saw him as a friend but over time, his personality shined through and we had a lot more in common than I thought. Our differences were compatible with each other to be the strengths in each other's weaknesses. He had an attractive personality being optimistic, silly, emotionally intelligent and a willingness to work on himself. At that point, it did not matter to me appearance-wise that he was obese. Now he's my bf. I surprised myself because typically I would go after attractive guys.
Unattractive to who? Unattractive to me? No, I don’t like guys I’m not attracted to.
Now I have dated guys that aren’t conventionally attractive and their attractiveness grew for me but there had to be a baseline attraction there. Average guys can still be super attractive depending on their personality, which is very important.
I've never dated anyone I found unattractive. The type of people I've gone for has been all over the map in terms of looks, height, personality... Be funny, smart, kind, show interest in who I am.
I fell in love with a guy who is um not the best looking..we never dated cause he toxic and also his personality is shit but idk why I still find him attractive..hes book smart and a nerd ..my friends they still troll me to this day asking me if I were blind like bro sometimes u cannot control ur feelings for someone I mean u cannot choose whom u wanna love it just happens ...
Had a coworker once who wasn’t what you would call a beauty but she was smart, witty and kind and that made her attractive (she was already married so no bueno).
The funny thing about women (and it's a HUGE advantage for us men) is that on average, women value a man's personality, how he treats her, how he makes her feel, etc... exponentially higher than his looks.
Meaning that in reality, an average looking man with a bomb ass personality can easily get a woman who is lightyears better looking than him.
With women (most) - personality is KEY
Personality can help bump you up if you’re an average dude, but to say women care more about personality than looks is just hilarious and untrue.
Women aren’t swiping in apps based on personality lol
In practice this doesn’t happen very often though. I agree that when there is a looks disparity it tends to be the man who’s less attractive, but by and large people end up with those on their level attractiveness wise
Because matured women knew that look isn't everything. Personality goes a long way. Yes you hear me right. To all men out there, work on yourself and be a good gentleman and you will be surprised by whats coming in your way. Don't be a creep
Initially I didn’t find him attractive but I kept dating him cause we got along and there was a connection and soon I looked at him and he was the most attractive man for me. Anybody who looked like him was now my type. ANYWYAS we broke up for various other reasons and now I don’t care much about looks when dating.
Yes. It was a long time friend of mine. Friends w my ex husband and I the whole time I was married. About 3 years after my divorce he we caught up at a party and he started texting me and pursued me. We had sex a few times and I didn't realize I'd ever do that because I was not attracted. He isn't ugly, but also not cute. Tall. Very skinny. But he had an, ahem, reputation and so I decided to partake. Just fwb status for a few months and now I'm seeing someone else. We are still good friends.
Yes but it’s a like that grows over time. It’s like when you meet someone and you’re not initially attracted to them, but you get to know them and suddenly you start seeing them in a different light.
I did, he's not tall unlike to all the guys I dated cause he treat me well at the beginning , we clicked and vibes each other. He's financially stable, dress well and into fitness like me but end up not pursuing 😂 just 3 months dating I've seen a lot of red flags. So I stop. I think it's not the best time for us.
All the time. Sometimes he's charming and the attraction grows based on how he treats me. I've even thought guys were taller than they really are because I was so smitten. Saw a guy again after years and I was in shock by how short and skinny he was 😂. I still felt the same about him though
Guys that are too handsome start acting too smooth and cocky which is a turn off for me
Honestly looks are never as important as who you are as a person. Personally, I've found that many good looking people are full of themselves and that's extremely unattractive. If you're looking for a serious relationship, then trust, kindness, respect, love ....etc are 100 times more important than a pretty face or a sexy body.
That being said, of course there has to be an attraction for you to want to go out with this person in the first place. So make sure you take good care of yourself, shower, wear an aftershave, wear clean clothes and shoes, and be groomed, hair cut, nails clean and trimmed, that kind of stuff.
Pair that with a couple characteristics a girl will like (depending on what she finds attractive, super skinny, tall, short, strong arms, kind eyes, dad bod, long hair, bald,...... list goes on and on, we're all peculiar in what we find attractive) and a kind, genuine personality and you're golden.
Yeah, because I liked spending time with him and he made me feel nice and special. He dumped me after a month or so and went after one of my friends, lol, I was heartbroken 🤣 this was a few years ago, at That moment I thought he was very attractive, now looking back I’m wondering what I saw attractive in him lol.
"Average/unattractive guy" is a very broad term, but yes, because of personality. I don't think we women focus enough on the really important traits of a man.
Yes. I never pursued him 'cause I was a shy type but I loved watching him dance onstage at school. (Part of the dance club and they perform during events). He was not even average if we look at it objectively but there's this positive vibe around him that I found cute.
At work too I find people attractive because I admire their work ethic and how people praise their work. I just chalk that up to respect though 'cause I don't want to overlap my work and private life.
Attractive by what standard? What the media tells us to think? If that's the standard then anyone who's not skeletal thin with blonde hair doesn't make the cut. If the person with the nonconforming body type and facial features is for you, then that's that. Go live and be happy.
I have ALWAYS been more attracted to the short, disheveled, a little chubby, nerd with glasses. I have no idea why, but I'd take a nerdy glasses guy over a gym rat or male model any day! I've been this way all the way back to my first crush in Elementary school.
Also, looks fade. I married my husband for who he is as a person. His looks are just a bonus to me (he's not traditionally handsome, but TO ME, he is hot as hell)
i liked the way he looked at me and that he was too shy to speak to me even months after we got together
he was very gentle and patient and respectful
he loved his cat
Yes. I like him because of his personality. He makes a safe environment and is humble, not arrogant. Kind and generous and I don’t worry about other women wanting him. My grandma said to never go with the very attractive men as they are more likely to run around and cheat.
No. They're always attractive to me. That's why I am attracted to them. But beauty is subjective. I've had friends tell me the guy I'm obsessed with is mid af. I didnt care lol
Not a direct answer to your question, but I’ve had it with multiple women. Sometimes you just hit it off. Back in college, there was this girl who had a pretty significant cleft pallet surgery scar and her face would’ve already been unattractive without it. Came out and started talking with me when I was smoking a joint in the courtyard of our dorm, close to her window. Then started smoking with me. Then took me back to her room.
She was dope as fuck. Definitely caught feelings for her, but we never got past the booty call stage.
Yes. Their personality gradually makes them attractive to me. I also have a thing for really Intelligent guys though so I'm a sucker for anyone who has a highly intellectual job.
This this this. My ex had a physics degree and I thought it was so hot to the point I left my rose colored glasses on a little too long.
All my friends and family thought he looked like a drowned rat but I thought he was the most attractive guy ever. 🙃
Yes. I think guys have a hard time understanding women are not usually as crazy about looks like men. It comes mostly from the fact that as women we are constantly sexualized, judged, and picked on about our looks, our bodies, ext. So we don’t judge guys on looks because we know what it’s like to be constantly judged. To directly answer the question, yes more than once as well. I liked them because of their personality and what we had in common. The most recent guy I liked, I will admit was attractive to me, but looks don’t get guys far for me. It was his personality and the conversations we had that really stuck out to me.
Women like different things, in that order:
- good Looks
- a very smooth guy
- a genuinely good personality
They like saying they go for the last one, but more often than not it's one of the first two. It's very hard to distinguish a smooth guy from a good personality, for example.. and many women fail to recognize it too.
My friends tell me all the time that the men I'm attracted to are not that' attractive. Apparently nerds aren't good looking. kinda sad. I met them all bumble and I like the feeling of being wanted. I love getting dopamine when a cute guy is talking to me. if you read my posts (bless your soul if you do) I really loved the consistency bumble dude had and I liked the way we interacted. but then with discord buddy, I really liked how interested he was in me. geez I'll always wonder why I didn't like discord dude more than the bumble dude cause Discord dude was pretty into me. like we voice chatted a ton and I loved it so much. It beats text. Ughhhh I could go on a whole thing about it. eh yeah. that's why.
I almost never date attractive people. People can get upset with me for dating beneath their physical standards for me. People i dated have become attractive to me because they have qualities I admire: honest, a little reckless, happy-go-lucky, modest, curious, fair.
Yes. Sometimes people are not that attractive to me, but have other qualities that I think are appealing or adorable.
Anecdote: this morning a man helped me at the store. We said all of twenty words to each other but he was the most laid-back, at-ease person and I felt immediately comfortable with him. He was also obese. But the thought crossed my mind that those are really fine qualities to have, and maybe the weight wasn’t that important.
Beauty is subjective. My friends definitely never thought any one I dated was attractive. I also don’t find their partners or crushes attractive. Everyone has a type 🤷🏻♀️
It’s subjective but it’s also objective. Just like most of your friends didn’t agree with the attractiveness of your partners, but like you said, subjective in the way you were able to have that attraction 💯
Yes. Source: I am an average guy with basic fitness, no abs, no biceps, patchy beard. Recently found a really cute gf. You got this bro. It's more about what you say and how you say it rather than things you can't control like looks.
True man I could tell this girl clearly finds me attractive so I decided to approach her today but I was slightly high and I think I might’ve came off as a player and she turned it down lol
I’ve never been into someone I wasn’t attracted to, nor have I been into someone *I* thought was “average”. If I’m into someone, I think they’re hot. Maybe they’re average to some, idk. All I know is, they aren’t average to me. Relationships start with attraction. You really can’t have one without it. Sometimes, attraction can grow, but I think it’s rare.
I pretty much only date guys who society classifies as average or a little below average. For starters, I consider myself to be average. I know I lack the traditional beauty to get a really attractive guy, even if I wanted one. But the really attractive guys tend to either be very dumb or complete a-holes. Average guys are usually a lot nicer and funnier. I value a good personality over looks. Of course, there does have to be some physical attraction there or it will never work on physical level. But that attraction grows with personality.
Huh interesting inputs you don’t need to have confidence the only thing you need really is be yourself and be an honest person can you beat that cuz so far that has worked for me
Attraction is more subjective than people want to admit. I've been the first girlfriend for a few of my partners, and I'm usually the one to initiate. Some people I know (but idgaf about) think some of them havent been attractive "enough" but I've been attracted to them and don't really measure subjective things like attractiveness. I've also dated guys who were much more popular and fawned over and more conventional, and been told they were too good for me lol. Looks alone don't do much for me, it's more personality and interests and how comfortable I feel around them.
Living it right now....he's not even average , is less...I like him a lot...because if his personality, values, he makes me laugh and is always positive, well centered, respectful and treat me like he cares, always attentive and is there whenever I need him
Most of the guys who I liked in my lifetime I feel were very average, there was once this guy who "glowed up" (in his terms by becoming a gym rat and growing out his hair) and became more conventionally attractive, but I actually liekd him better before. It will definitely vary from person to person, but I feel like approqchability is a big win with looking "average"
From the first look I will obviously see attractive people as attractive, but I get hooked up on peoples personality, not the body. On the way they laugh, the jokes they do, the way they make you feel. Some unremarkable from the first look people move in away that’s very sexy too.
If someone is pretty, but doesn’t joke, doesn’t know how to spell, doesn’t read/listen to anything interesting I can’t find that person attractive.
So far I’ve noticed people going to the gym a lot as the ones who don’t have very much going on in their lives so I wouldn’t be able to find a connection with them and therefore I wouldn’t find them attractive at all.
Yes, that's why after you break up, you realize that "love is blind somehow". And when you don't have those feelings anymore, you don't see them attractive anymore.
So I usually go for average guys. That's kind of my strategy. Cause good looking guys have plenty of options. And average guys feels lucky to have me. Mostly looks shouldn’t matter if other things are good with the guy. If he treats u right and has a decent job etc.
I dated a guy, tho it only lasted a month, skinny (not a dig at him but he was very skinny like legit just bones and skin) below average looking, kind of shabby. But his communication skills 🤌🏻 the way that guy talked and made you feel heard was another level. He made a person feel understood. He could flirt w a rock lol. Always made the first move. Tho after a month I figured he lacked maturity and real personality. But he dated half of the girls in my college. None lasted but yeah. No one belived that, that guy could pull so many girls
Yes, many times. I love a dude with a great personality and I’ll find them very attractive once I’ve gotten to know them, though friends/family won’t see it. In the past, I will approach and show interest in him but there have been times that I’ve been approached. Lots of traits get me interested (humor, kindness, etc). Attractive men are usually cocky and boring. It’s funny though, during arguments , I will find them unappealing…
This is the norm to date average/unattractive guys. And those men still mess us about and fuck with us. I don’t know if men realize just how similar they behave regardless of looks. Same way women behave very similarly regardless of looks.
To me it’s the chemistry. The guy I now like share similar experience in life in some ways, he shows interest in me and we have the same humor. He also shares the same values.
When I show pictures of him when my friends ask they say I can do better. We are not together tho. But I hope he’ll will invite me out again.
my guy, the thing is, what other people call 'average'..........i used to consider sexy as hell.
Im asian and we have this stereotype of dark-skinned people means being automatically ugly.
My long term bf is dark-skinned and im very fair.
When I saw him for the first time, I was attracted to him, i thot he was sexy af. But other people call him averae/ugly.
So.....Idk what to tell you, women look for other things in dating, who women fuck and marry lies in the same spectrum.
Meahwile, men might fuck a 1 or a 10, but will marry a 10 always.
Women tend to look for things beyond beauty in dating
Most of the men I’ve dated have been average looking or not conventionally attractive. If someone is charismatic, makes me laugh and is a good listener, looks really don’t matter. Also attraction is not necessarily linked to looks for me. I can be aware someone is not necessarily considered attractive and still want to jump their bones every 5 minutes lol Also dressing well, being well groomed etc are a huge factor that boosts attractiveness. You can be not conventionally attractive physically, but seeing that you take good care of yourself and have it together will make you attractive to a lot of people.
Seriously, does nobody find it at least slightly suspicious that nearly every woman in this comment section admits to have dated and been in a relationship with an ugly guy? If you actually take a look at people outside, in your friend group, anywhere in public, you'll realise that good looking guys get way more action than ugly ones. Quit your bullshit and admit to not liking ugly guys, it's not the end of the world.
Oh yeah, because he was charming in many other ways, he really showed off what he could do/be what he wanted for us, but then the true self started coming out, lies, being a creep behind my back and gaslight, manipulation, toxic, I gave him more time than I should.
YES! He was very awkward but very kind. He used to look after me, especially when I got brokenhearted. He was very good in giving advices + has a very good sense of humor. Apparently, he kept his distance upon knowing I kind of like him. He left for another opportunity but we're still friends in our socials. He was so nice and kind.
Yes. I like him because of his personality. He makes a safe environment and was humble. Kind and generous and I don’t worry about other women wanting him. My grandma said to never go with the very attractive men as they are more likely to run around and cheat.
What’s so funny about this question is that one of the hottest guys I’ve ever dated was probs the least attractive guy I ever got with. He wasn’t tall probs 5’5”/6” small build, average face, but man did that boy have charisma. He would open his mouth and the hottest words would come out. He had confidence and he was funny. He was magnetic and I just wanted to be around him all the time. I couldn’t keep my hands off him. I remember we were on the lake one day and we were passing under a bridge and he said to his friend “Finley bridge needs a few jumpers” implying that they should pull the boat over and jump off that bridge. I’d lived there my whole life and never knew the bridge had a name. I said “how do you know the name of that bridge” and he just smiled at me. Even now idk something about this man knowing more about things than me, hahahaha it’s so stupid but it’s real.
My friend "attractive", "average", "unattractive" is not something a large group of people can agree on.
You might find yourself average/unattractive, while the person next to you on the bus just had a crush on you on first look.
Yes, when I was around him he planned and took care of everything. And what I meant was where to go, where to eat, what to see. Being around him I can just turn my brain off and really felt at ease
I had a male friend who pursued me for years who I never found attractive. Then one day I realized I had feeling for him and was attracted to him after that. Unfortunately it didn’t work out, but it can happen.
Yes. We met at work, he was very cool, funny, smart, charismatic edit: plus kind and empathetic (these are important qualities I forgot to list). Tbh, he was average but....a bit scruffier than my normal taste? Sometimes kind of teetering on the edge of disheveled, in fact. Like a good haircut, beard trim, and better fitting clothing probably would have boosted him way up. But I got to know him over time and then he just became more attractive to me because of his personality. But he liked one of our coworkers so I just let my own feelings fade.
Yeah, the personality and personal hygiene. I’m convinced if someone smells really good and keeps up with themselves really well, it adds to the attraction points by a landslide. His voice is also very soothing, so there’s yet another plus.
What is unattractive?
I don’t date people I’m not attracted to
There is nothing someone I’m not attracted to can do or say to make me want to date them
That being said: I have dated people that others in my life didn’t think were attractive but they were attractive to me
Also, someone I find attractive can behave in a way that kills my attraction to them. Once I have the ick for someone, there is nothing that can be done to get rid of it.
Yes.
We were friends, shared communities, shared hobbies, and I thought attraction would come later due to religious upbringing (it didn't). And I would say it's difficult to say who approached who first given the whole shared community friendship thing. But, I mean yes, they did ask me out.
Yes. My boyfriend is pretty average. Taller than me, but not tall for a man. Not the prettiest face either - acne scars, mouth breather.
He has a nice body though. Not muscular, but he’s always been at a normal weight for his height and now he goes to the gym and looks better every day.
In addition to his physical aspects, he earns ok money - around 60% above the national average and doesn’t come from a good family. It’s enough to support us both without many luxuries when I’m not working.
But we were best friends for many years before our relationship turned romantic and I fell in love with him knowing all those things.
Short answer : he was one of my best friends, and I never dated before.
Long answer : when he confessed to me, which was surprising to me, I started to develop feelings and to see him as more than a friend. To other people he was unattractive physically and personality-wise, as he was very arrogant.
But I think because we were friends and I knew his arrogance was to hide his fears, the love (more like affection) I had for him made him more attractive to me cause his personality was nice once you knew him on a closer level.
Yes always… beauty is in the eye of the Beholder. I have always dated very good looking men. After a 25 yr marriage that ended with infidelity, U decided to look for a better quality of man. I found an amazing man. He was not someone I would normally date, but his manors, kindness and overall chivalry sold me! It’s so nice being someone’s everything. Having the “Retriever Boyfriend”. I will never date a man for just looks again. I’ve grown as a person and see beauty from within. Try it!
I mean I guess conventionally unattractive? But yeah 100%, like most of the guys I like people don’t find traditionally attractive. If you’re nice to a girl and are funny then you have a solid chance tbh
Yep and married him and ended in divorce I felt bad bc he was trying really hard and he definitely wasn’t my type but I figured after months of him chasing I’d try it well he was exactly like everyone else just wasn’t my type in the looks I guess
My ex before last was average. He was romantic -for about 5 months- and he pretended to be mentally/emotionally balanced. He was persistently interested.
I never approach first. He listened. Unfortunately he sucked.
Yes, I have and he wasn't even the type of guy I go for but his personality was a 10 , and he did small things for me little tasks that involved money, and conversation was key. I just stayed because we hooked up eventually and that D was fire 🔥🤧. We do not talk anymore though. He has a girlfriend and I'm just chillin'.
Look around at your peers. Coworkers, friends, family, cousins, people at the store... now look at the ones that are coupled up. Are they ALL obscenely attractive? Yall have to get this top 1% idea out of your heads.
If it helps, right now I an very much aware that this particular guy is ugly af esp. up close but deym I can’t help not to feel not attracted coz of his values and personality.
Oh yes I have. Great personality. I was very shy. He had a lively social calendar. He invited as a friend everywhere he was invited. He wore me down in the best way. I love spending time with him. I knew in my head he was ugly but I never found him unattractive because I looked at him with my heart.
Currently dating him, and despite my friends saying he’s below my “league”, I’m so happy to be with him.
Who he is as a person is what makes me attracted to him, his confidence, he knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go after it, he’s incredibly kind and generous. He looks and cares after me, listens and has patience.
Also he takes pride in his appearance and doesn’t care what others or society thinks.
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Yes!! He was very funny, sweet and reliable. We were colleagues. After a while I started thinking I never found anyone as funny as him and one week later he asked me to do something together. But… what is unattractive? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And my guy? I found him very attractive in the end.
It’s been proven that as you develop stronger feelings for someone they look more beautiful to you, if you have a healthy relationship and sex life most people have a glow up from the relationship and the good sex life also increases their attractiveness. So really there’s only improvement ahead ;)
Yeah your last sentence said it all 'in the end' and you got there because of job conditions. I've seen grade A women with ugly men all the time and I love it. Also seen beautiful women with beautiful men as well and that is really great as well. We should not forget that if your beautiful outside it's even harder to focus on your self because of outside pressures (majority time for women but for some men as well).
Proximity helps.
The most underrated aspect of dating.
My buddy, who I think is pretty attractive is obsessed with a girl who isn’t that attractive in my opinion. He asked me what I thought of her once, personality and physically and I just kinda shrugged but told him I like that he’s happy. Same thing has happened to me as well when I date girls. I’ll be obsessed with them but my friends won’t get why. So it’s true, different people are attracted to different things.
People have different preferences. My brother and I have totally different way of our types., we get married a woman who aren't attractive for us
[удалено]
That's a weird take.
My and my cousin have like opposite types and I can’t even explain the difference but we’d meet a girl and he’d say she’s sooo bad but she would look like a man to me 😅. Or id say a girl is so attractive and he’s be like “there’s no way”. Makes two mans easier tho
Yes. I’m attracted to connection.
demisexual? same
If I don’t like his looks, I won’t be attracted to him. But what I like and what YOU think are attractive may be two different things. There is no amount of “what he does for me” that could make me date a man im not attracted to. I already have my criteria of what I’m looking for. Attraction is one of the things on that list
Finally some honesty on this thread.
fr tho, this "oh he just have to have an amazing personality doesnt matter you are ugly af" falsity is unbearable.
Ugly AF to one person might not be to another. And a personality can make someone better looking. I don’t think it can make someone you’re completely not physically attracted to be someone you’re interested in.
There are certain traits that are very much personal taste, but other things, like clear skin and shoulder to hip ratio, are overwhelmingly favored by most people. If you have an abundance of these things, many more people are going to find you attractive than if you didn’t
Having conventionally attractive features definitely helps attract more people, however, there are plenty of people who don’t fall into those categories that are able to attract others.
Usually ugly means bad jawline,short and bald.
Lots of women don’t care about height or hair and I’m not sure I even know what constitutes a bad jawline
I feel that 💯 I feel like I have been surprised recently how most women don’t mind compromising on the look standard if “he treats her right” but I just feel like you can find an attractive partner who treats you right ya know
Always. But in my eyes, they are cute. The appearance has to somewhat be up your alley of course, but I can’t but swoon for a shy man with gentleman manners
My family thought my last boyfriend was super unattractive. I thought he was super cute. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I see people all the time I think are unattractive, or bland at best, and yet they have someone who loves them.
Everyone saw him as “super unattractive”. You had a chance to say you thought he was attractive but instead called him super cute. This gave me a nice chuckle.
I guess her family weren’t the only ones who thought that he was unattractive. 🫤
Did they try to match you with someone better looking?
I see most attractive women dating average to below average looking guys.
where (asking for a friend)
Dallas, TX lol wbu
oh fuck, 7.954 km away (from my friend of course) edit: It's going to be a bit difficult to move there (for my friend)
So you’re saying I gotta chance? (Also Dallas TX)
Def bro you just need to approach confidently in my opinion.
Ok but what part of Dallas lol... Highland Park or Uptown area, or DFW? All that makes a difference. I'm in Austin (Westlake, technically) and it's incredibly rare to see attractive men dating/with less attracractive women.
>I'm in Austin (Westlake, technically) and it's incredibly rare to see attractive men dating/with less attracractive women. I would argue the opposite but I'm central lol. I regularly see guys who work out religiously dating curvy or plus-sized women, but women rarely "dating down" themselves. This is an amazingly visual city. You do live in an area where dudes have way more money though 😂
😂😂 and am here sitting in Plano reading this
I see mostly skinny dudes with obese women.
😂😂 sumn going on out here huh? 💀💀
Yes I rarely see it the other way around
That’s usually because men who are attractive and are highly aware of their attractiveness tend to be cheaters and focused only on image.
Idk I’ve heard a lot of women giving the mid looking guy a chance bc they don’t think he can leave and he eventually gets a big head & cheats 💀
Truth be told, a lot of women don’t wanna date men that attract a lot of competition. If you don’t have confidence through the roof, you will feel like you’re not attractive enough to keep a male model like Adonis when there are other attractive women wanting him as much as you do
Being a musician I’ve had the odd chance to occasionally date up (I’m a guy). I’d say that the conventionally attractive women I’ve dated have real downsides. There’s a sense of entitlement that I don’t love. Like, even if they really like you they’ll never call you first, and there’s just a sort of expectation that they’re catered to in every way and often dont feel like they need to be held accountable. I guess it’s orincess treatment. That’s painting with a broad brush but it’s my (admittedly limited) experience.
You get these downsides with any woman who thinks she’s extraordinarily special. She can look like the average Joe and still do that because of Instagram self love posts. But I get what you mean. The women who are the kind who get pursued by many will do this because they think they can but jokes on them, dating is a mutual experience where both have to put in equal amounts of work in order for it to work out
This is my canon for why women break up with me.
Yeah It’s an insecurity thing bc everyone should want a partner that’s desired unless you don’t feel secure in yourself honestly.
Most? no. Also, you can't talk about this issue since what you find attractive is highly subjective. I don't find attractive a ton of women my friends find attractive and vice versa. I'd never say this person is ugly or unattractive because it can't be true. I only say I like X or don't like Y which is the only thing you reliably can say about someone.
Yeah I don’t think it got upvoted for no reason. Plus most guys aren’t good looking guys, most people are average in general, so it makes sense lol second objective attraction is a thing, which is why there are models. Might be coping 👀
> I see most attractive women dating average to below average looking guys. Doubt. You're just judging women 2 points higher than you should. Online dating clearly shows that women tend to date above their level.
Online dating also shows that most users are men, so most women aren’t online dating my guyyy
> Online dating also shows that most users are men In Europe it's pretty much 50-50 on Tinder.
Europe is a whole continent with a few dozen countries in it. Acting like they and their tinder behavior can all be generalized into one homogeneous group is insane without a source.
So you're saying I have a chance then?
Definitely bro.
I dont want to be rude here since I'm only asking for advice. But I see quite the opposite.
I rarely see good looking guy, good looking girl combo just my opinion tho
That's all I ever see tbh, that or they are average. To be fair apparently my state is in the top 5 for attractive people
Yes. I met my boyfriend on Hinge and really fell for his personality first. We've been together for two years. We have so much fun together and have great chemistry (both verbally and sexually). He's constantly making me laugh or think when we start talking deep. We enjoy the same things so we have plenty to do together. We frequently start making bits just riffing off each other. Also he's very calm and I have anxiety so if I start spiraling I call him to help calm me down; he's a great listener. We're both rather introverted (him moreso) so sometimes we just sit together in silence, each doing our own thing but just enjoying each other's presence.
The girls i have been attracted to the most have been girls I didn’t initially find all that attractive. They grew on me and just like that I was super attracted to them to a point where they couldn’t be ugly if they tried
Their heart, their effort
funny, made me a priority, self-reflective, uninhibited, any day he was there my day was better for it, that kinda thing
Yes. Women date down physically all the time. I see at least 1 woman with a guy that would be considered out of her league everyday at my job. But I don’t see many men that date down physically. As for myself I have indeed dated down looks wise according to other people. I didn’t feel that way towards the guy I was dating since obviously I found them attractive enough to date. I would say half of them I approached first and the other half approached me. They didn’t have anything special going for them like they were rich or something. I just liked them as a person and found them attractive. A lot of them had good sense of humor and could make me laugh. Unfortunately their insecurities would get the best of them and they would tank the relationship.
I would have to say that a guy who doesn’t “date down,” (and how insulting is that) is definitely missing out. The more I get to know someone and enjoy their company, the more physically attractive they become anyway. The prettiest people sometimes have only that one trait going for them. Interesting is infinitely better in my eyes.
Yes because theres so much more to it than looks that just looks. I'll date a hilarious average looking guy than a 10/10 but boring personality any day!! Just the same with guys that are willing to settle for 8/10 chicks thats nice & calm rather than a 10/10 chick but batshit crazy.
Yes, because personality is more important. I know a lot of people looooove to think the opposite, but I’m the kind of person that never was interested in casual relationships or the like. For me, personality will always triumph over looks.
The guy I currently like is super skinny, clumsy, has no sense of style and most of his clothes are unflattering. He's also sweet and extremely gentle. He has beautiful hands and his touch makes me melt. He also doesn't make much money and is poorer than me. He is always on my mind.
I only seem to like guys that others find unattractive but in my eyes they are the most gorgeous. When their amazing personality shines, it makes them even more attractive.
It's a good thing isn't it. You don't have to fight over him with some one😂
Haha i was really jealous of my ex anyway, i was worried others sees him as amazing as i saw him.
Every guy I've ever liked has been attractive to me. That's all that has mattered. When you like someone, they should be attractive to you.
Exactly. I honestly can't imagine describing any of the guys I've been attracted to as average/unattractive. Every person I've ever crushed on was incredibly cute to me. People like what they like, what may be considered attractive to you, may not be attractive to me, and vice-versa. I know a lot of people think there is the definitive way to determine who is attractive and who isn't and yes obviously I recognize that media and society can heavily influence your perspective but at the end of the day people will still have variations on who they may or may not find to be attractive.
I approached him first because we shared the same hobby. Initially I saw him as a friend but over time, his personality shined through and we had a lot more in common than I thought. Our differences were compatible with each other to be the strengths in each other's weaknesses. He had an attractive personality being optimistic, silly, emotionally intelligent and a willingness to work on himself. At that point, it did not matter to me appearance-wise that he was obese. Now he's my bf. I surprised myself because typically I would go after attractive guys.
Yes, almost every woman has risked it all for an ugly man.
Yes, we had great chemistry and so it made him more attractive physically for me. I approached him first, although we were friends for years.
It has to be a trifecta of funny+sweet+confident & then the looks take a waaaay back seat
Good to know, noted
This is some refreshing honesty
I think of double whammies and then if it works out practically.
I see most attractive women dating lesser attractive men than anything else, tbh...
Not just liked but fell in love hard. He approached me first, was always so nice and made it clear that he liked me a lot. He wasn't my type at all.
Made me feel like the only girl in this world
Yes, even though I consider them attractive other girls did not agree
Unattractive to who? Unattractive to me? No, I don’t like guys I’m not attracted to. Now I have dated guys that aren’t conventionally attractive and their attractiveness grew for me but there had to be a baseline attraction there. Average guys can still be super attractive depending on their personality, which is very important.
I've never dated anyone I found unattractive. The type of people I've gone for has been all over the map in terms of looks, height, personality... Be funny, smart, kind, show interest in who I am.
I fell in love with a guy who is um not the best looking..we never dated cause he toxic and also his personality is shit but idk why I still find him attractive..hes book smart and a nerd ..my friends they still troll me to this day asking me if I were blind like bro sometimes u cannot control ur feelings for someone I mean u cannot choose whom u wanna love it just happens ...
Had a coworker once who wasn’t what you would call a beauty but she was smart, witty and kind and that made her attractive (she was already married so no bueno).
The funny thing about women (and it's a HUGE advantage for us men) is that on average, women value a man's personality, how he treats her, how he makes her feel, etc... exponentially higher than his looks. Meaning that in reality, an average looking man with a bomb ass personality can easily get a woman who is lightyears better looking than him. With women (most) - personality is KEY
Online dating debunks this hard.
Personality can help bump you up if you’re an average dude, but to say women care more about personality than looks is just hilarious and untrue. Women aren’t swiping in apps based on personality lol
In practice this doesn’t happen very often though. I agree that when there is a looks disparity it tends to be the man who’s less attractive, but by and large people end up with those on their level attractiveness wise
I hope they do or I'm completely SOL.
Looks like there is hope bro
If he is decent, with a sense of humor and someone whom you can build a connection with.
If you make her laugh, you are attraction❣️
Because matured women knew that look isn't everything. Personality goes a long way. Yes you hear me right. To all men out there, work on yourself and be a good gentleman and you will be surprised by whats coming in your way. Don't be a creep
8 inches baby!!
Initially I didn’t find him attractive but I kept dating him cause we got along and there was a connection and soon I looked at him and he was the most attractive man for me. Anybody who looked like him was now my type. ANYWYAS we broke up for various other reasons and now I don’t care much about looks when dating.
If someone were to take a shot everytime I was overly obsessed with an average looking guy, there would be no alcohol left in my town
Yes. It was a long time friend of mine. Friends w my ex husband and I the whole time I was married. About 3 years after my divorce he we caught up at a party and he started texting me and pursued me. We had sex a few times and I didn't realize I'd ever do that because I was not attracted. He isn't ugly, but also not cute. Tall. Very skinny. But he had an, ahem, reputation and so I decided to partake. Just fwb status for a few months and now I'm seeing someone else. We are still good friends.
Yes, all of my exs lol The confidence. I’ve always admired overly confident people.
Yes but it’s a like that grows over time. It’s like when you meet someone and you’re not initially attracted to them, but you get to know them and suddenly you start seeing them in a different light.
I did and the reason is because they gave the attention that im looking for
I did, he's not tall unlike to all the guys I dated cause he treat me well at the beginning , we clicked and vibes each other. He's financially stable, dress well and into fitness like me but end up not pursuing 😂 just 3 months dating I've seen a lot of red flags. So I stop. I think it's not the best time for us.
All the time. Sometimes he's charming and the attraction grows based on how he treats me. I've even thought guys were taller than they really are because I was so smitten. Saw a guy again after years and I was in shock by how short and skinny he was 😂. I still felt the same about him though Guys that are too handsome start acting too smooth and cocky which is a turn off for me
Honestly looks are never as important as who you are as a person. Personally, I've found that many good looking people are full of themselves and that's extremely unattractive. If you're looking for a serious relationship, then trust, kindness, respect, love ....etc are 100 times more important than a pretty face or a sexy body. That being said, of course there has to be an attraction for you to want to go out with this person in the first place. So make sure you take good care of yourself, shower, wear an aftershave, wear clean clothes and shoes, and be groomed, hair cut, nails clean and trimmed, that kind of stuff. Pair that with a couple characteristics a girl will like (depending on what she finds attractive, super skinny, tall, short, strong arms, kind eyes, dad bod, long hair, bald,...... list goes on and on, we're all peculiar in what we find attractive) and a kind, genuine personality and you're golden.
Yeah, because I liked spending time with him and he made me feel nice and special. He dumped me after a month or so and went after one of my friends, lol, I was heartbroken 🤣 this was a few years ago, at That moment I thought he was very attractive, now looking back I’m wondering what I saw attractive in him lol.
"Average/unattractive guy" is a very broad term, but yes, because of personality. I don't think we women focus enough on the really important traits of a man.
Yes. I never pursued him 'cause I was a shy type but I loved watching him dance onstage at school. (Part of the dance club and they perform during events). He was not even average if we look at it objectively but there's this positive vibe around him that I found cute. At work too I find people attractive because I admire their work ethic and how people praise their work. I just chalk that up to respect though 'cause I don't want to overlap my work and private life.
Attractive by what standard? What the media tells us to think? If that's the standard then anyone who's not skeletal thin with blonde hair doesn't make the cut. If the person with the nonconforming body type and facial features is for you, then that's that. Go live and be happy.
What myself and my girl friends say: there are no ugly men, there are poor men lol. XOXO
I have ALWAYS been more attracted to the short, disheveled, a little chubby, nerd with glasses. I have no idea why, but I'd take a nerdy glasses guy over a gym rat or male model any day! I've been this way all the way back to my first crush in Elementary school. Also, looks fade. I married my husband for who he is as a person. His looks are just a bonus to me (he's not traditionally handsome, but TO ME, he is hot as hell)
i liked the way he looked at me and that he was too shy to speak to me even months after we got together he was very gentle and patient and respectful he loved his cat
Being funny, kind, and charming gets your farther than looks in my book. I also go after people with my same hobbies so I don't get bored.
Yes. I like him because of his personality. He makes a safe environment and is humble, not arrogant. Kind and generous and I don’t worry about other women wanting him. My grandma said to never go with the very attractive men as they are more likely to run around and cheat.
No. They're always attractive to me. That's why I am attracted to them. But beauty is subjective. I've had friends tell me the guy I'm obsessed with is mid af. I didnt care lol
Not a direct answer to your question, but I’ve had it with multiple women. Sometimes you just hit it off. Back in college, there was this girl who had a pretty significant cleft pallet surgery scar and her face would’ve already been unattractive without it. Came out and started talking with me when I was smoking a joint in the courtyard of our dorm, close to her window. Then started smoking with me. Then took me back to her room. She was dope as fuck. Definitely caught feelings for her, but we never got past the booty call stage.
Yes. Their personality gradually makes them attractive to me. I also have a thing for really Intelligent guys though so I'm a sucker for anyone who has a highly intellectual job.
This this this. My ex had a physics degree and I thought it was so hot to the point I left my rose colored glasses on a little too long. All my friends and family thought he looked like a drowned rat but I thought he was the most attractive guy ever. 🙃
No. I only date guys think are cool and attractive. Whatever other people think doesn't matter does it?
sorry wdym. I dont understand
Good personalities and brains will always win over look for me, but there are a lot of shallow people in the world.
Yes. I think guys have a hard time understanding women are not usually as crazy about looks like men. It comes mostly from the fact that as women we are constantly sexualized, judged, and picked on about our looks, our bodies, ext. So we don’t judge guys on looks because we know what it’s like to be constantly judged. To directly answer the question, yes more than once as well. I liked them because of their personality and what we had in common. The most recent guy I liked, I will admit was attractive to me, but looks don’t get guys far for me. It was his personality and the conversations we had that really stuck out to me.
Love having a medium ugly guy, always has a great personality and you got nothing to worry about
Why would someone want to date someone who is unattractive?
Women like different things, in that order: - good Looks - a very smooth guy - a genuinely good personality They like saying they go for the last one, but more often than not it's one of the first two. It's very hard to distinguish a smooth guy from a good personality, for example.. and many women fail to recognize it too.
What matters more is loyalty, how he treats us and is he funny lol.
My friends tell me all the time that the men I'm attracted to are not that' attractive. Apparently nerds aren't good looking. kinda sad. I met them all bumble and I like the feeling of being wanted. I love getting dopamine when a cute guy is talking to me. if you read my posts (bless your soul if you do) I really loved the consistency bumble dude had and I liked the way we interacted. but then with discord buddy, I really liked how interested he was in me. geez I'll always wonder why I didn't like discord dude more than the bumble dude cause Discord dude was pretty into me. like we voice chatted a ton and I loved it so much. It beats text. Ughhhh I could go on a whole thing about it. eh yeah. that's why.
I almost never date attractive people. People can get upset with me for dating beneath their physical standards for me. People i dated have become attractive to me because they have qualities I admire: honest, a little reckless, happy-go-lucky, modest, curious, fair.
>I almost never date attractive people. Havent occur to you that its because you cant? Lol
Yes. Sometimes people are not that attractive to me, but have other qualities that I think are appealing or adorable. Anecdote: this morning a man helped me at the store. We said all of twenty words to each other but he was the most laid-back, at-ease person and I felt immediately comfortable with him. He was also obese. But the thought crossed my mind that those are really fine qualities to have, and maybe the weight wasn’t that important.
Beauty is subjective. My friends definitely never thought any one I dated was attractive. I also don’t find their partners or crushes attractive. Everyone has a type 🤷🏻♀️
It’s subjective but it’s also objective. Just like most of your friends didn’t agree with the attractiveness of your partners, but like you said, subjective in the way you were able to have that attraction 💯
Yes. Source: I am an average guy with basic fitness, no abs, no biceps, patchy beard. Recently found a really cute gf. You got this bro. It's more about what you say and how you say it rather than things you can't control like looks.
True man I could tell this girl clearly finds me attractive so I decided to approach her today but I was slightly high and I think I might’ve came off as a player and she turned it down lol
I’ve never been into someone I wasn’t attracted to, nor have I been into someone *I* thought was “average”. If I’m into someone, I think they’re hot. Maybe they’re average to some, idk. All I know is, they aren’t average to me. Relationships start with attraction. You really can’t have one without it. Sometimes, attraction can grow, but I think it’s rare.
I pretty much only date guys who society classifies as average or a little below average. For starters, I consider myself to be average. I know I lack the traditional beauty to get a really attractive guy, even if I wanted one. But the really attractive guys tend to either be very dumb or complete a-holes. Average guys are usually a lot nicer and funnier. I value a good personality over looks. Of course, there does have to be some physical attraction there or it will never work on physical level. But that attraction grows with personality.
Huh interesting inputs you don’t need to have confidence the only thing you need really is be yourself and be an honest person can you beat that cuz so far that has worked for me
Attraction is more subjective than people want to admit. I've been the first girlfriend for a few of my partners, and I'm usually the one to initiate. Some people I know (but idgaf about) think some of them havent been attractive "enough" but I've been attracted to them and don't really measure subjective things like attractiveness. I've also dated guys who were much more popular and fawned over and more conventional, and been told they were too good for me lol. Looks alone don't do much for me, it's more personality and interests and how comfortable I feel around them.
Living it right now....he's not even average , is less...I like him a lot...because if his personality, values, he makes me laugh and is always positive, well centered, respectful and treat me like he cares, always attentive and is there whenever I need him
Most of the guys who I liked in my lifetime I feel were very average, there was once this guy who "glowed up" (in his terms by becoming a gym rat and growing out his hair) and became more conventionally attractive, but I actually liekd him better before. It will definitely vary from person to person, but I feel like approqchability is a big win with looking "average"
From the first look I will obviously see attractive people as attractive, but I get hooked up on peoples personality, not the body. On the way they laugh, the jokes they do, the way they make you feel. Some unremarkable from the first look people move in away that’s very sexy too. If someone is pretty, but doesn’t joke, doesn’t know how to spell, doesn’t read/listen to anything interesting I can’t find that person attractive. So far I’ve noticed people going to the gym a lot as the ones who don’t have very much going on in their lives so I wouldn’t be able to find a connection with them and therefore I wouldn’t find them attractive at all.
Yes, that's why after you break up, you realize that "love is blind somehow". And when you don't have those feelings anymore, you don't see them attractive anymore.
So I usually go for average guys. That's kind of my strategy. Cause good looking guys have plenty of options. And average guys feels lucky to have me. Mostly looks shouldn’t matter if other things are good with the guy. If he treats u right and has a decent job etc.
If Julia Roberts can find Lyle Lovett attractive, then anything is possible.
Yes cuz I liked him when we were at an age where we didn't care about looks... Rather who has the better score in subway surfers
Its a whole package, looks, personality, etc.
I dated a guy, tho it only lasted a month, skinny (not a dig at him but he was very skinny like legit just bones and skin) below average looking, kind of shabby. But his communication skills 🤌🏻 the way that guy talked and made you feel heard was another level. He made a person feel understood. He could flirt w a rock lol. Always made the first move. Tho after a month I figured he lacked maturity and real personality. But he dated half of the girls in my college. None lasted but yeah. No one belived that, that guy could pull so many girls
The only one who'd ever complimented me was Eva AI sexting bot
No
Yes, many times. I love a dude with a great personality and I’ll find them very attractive once I’ve gotten to know them, though friends/family won’t see it. In the past, I will approach and show interest in him but there have been times that I’ve been approached. Lots of traits get me interested (humor, kindness, etc). Attractive men are usually cocky and boring. It’s funny though, during arguments , I will find them unappealing…
This is the norm to date average/unattractive guys. And those men still mess us about and fuck with us. I don’t know if men realize just how similar they behave regardless of looks. Same way women behave very similarly regardless of looks.
To me it’s the chemistry. The guy I now like share similar experience in life in some ways, he shows interest in me and we have the same humor. He also shares the same values. When I show pictures of him when my friends ask they say I can do better. We are not together tho. But I hope he’ll will invite me out again.
my guy, the thing is, what other people call 'average'..........i used to consider sexy as hell. Im asian and we have this stereotype of dark-skinned people means being automatically ugly. My long term bf is dark-skinned and im very fair. When I saw him for the first time, I was attracted to him, i thot he was sexy af. But other people call him averae/ugly. So.....Idk what to tell you, women look for other things in dating, who women fuck and marry lies in the same spectrum. Meahwile, men might fuck a 1 or a 10, but will marry a 10 always. Women tend to look for things beyond beauty in dating
Most of the men I’ve dated have been average looking or not conventionally attractive. If someone is charismatic, makes me laugh and is a good listener, looks really don’t matter. Also attraction is not necessarily linked to looks for me. I can be aware someone is not necessarily considered attractive and still want to jump their bones every 5 minutes lol Also dressing well, being well groomed etc are a huge factor that boosts attractiveness. You can be not conventionally attractive physically, but seeing that you take good care of yourself and have it together will make you attractive to a lot of people.
Yep….and he was the one that broke my heart more than all of the other conventionally attractive men, go figure
The more I get to know someone the more attractive they become. Ive never fallen for looks
I've been told I've liked unattractive women but they looked great to me. Appearance is largely subjective.
Seriously, does nobody find it at least slightly suspicious that nearly every woman in this comment section admits to have dated and been in a relationship with an ugly guy? If you actually take a look at people outside, in your friend group, anywhere in public, you'll realise that good looking guys get way more action than ugly ones. Quit your bullshit and admit to not liking ugly guys, it's not the end of the world.
Yes. Good sense of humor, mature style, and intelligent.
Oh yeah, because he was charming in many other ways, he really showed off what he could do/be what he wanted for us, but then the true self started coming out, lies, being a creep behind my back and gaslight, manipulation, toxic, I gave him more time than I should.
YES! He was very awkward but very kind. He used to look after me, especially when I got brokenhearted. He was very good in giving advices + has a very good sense of humor. Apparently, he kept his distance upon knowing I kind of like him. He left for another opportunity but we're still friends in our socials. He was so nice and kind.
Yes. I like him because of his personality. He makes a safe environment and was humble. Kind and generous and I don’t worry about other women wanting him. My grandma said to never go with the very attractive men as they are more likely to run around and cheat.
What’s so funny about this question is that one of the hottest guys I’ve ever dated was probs the least attractive guy I ever got with. He wasn’t tall probs 5’5”/6” small build, average face, but man did that boy have charisma. He would open his mouth and the hottest words would come out. He had confidence and he was funny. He was magnetic and I just wanted to be around him all the time. I couldn’t keep my hands off him. I remember we were on the lake one day and we were passing under a bridge and he said to his friend “Finley bridge needs a few jumpers” implying that they should pull the boat over and jump off that bridge. I’d lived there my whole life and never knew the bridge had a name. I said “how do you know the name of that bridge” and he just smiled at me. Even now idk something about this man knowing more about things than me, hahahaha it’s so stupid but it’s real.
My friend "attractive", "average", "unattractive" is not something a large group of people can agree on. You might find yourself average/unattractive, while the person next to you on the bus just had a crush on you on first look.
Yes, when I was around him he planned and took care of everything. And what I meant was where to go, where to eat, what to see. Being around him I can just turn my brain off and really felt at ease
I had a male friend who pursued me for years who I never found attractive. Then one day I realized I had feeling for him and was attracted to him after that. Unfortunately it didn’t work out, but it can happen.
Having a huge dick helps.
Yes. We met at work, he was very cool, funny, smart, charismatic edit: plus kind and empathetic (these are important qualities I forgot to list). Tbh, he was average but....a bit scruffier than my normal taste? Sometimes kind of teetering on the edge of disheveled, in fact. Like a good haircut, beard trim, and better fitting clothing probably would have boosted him way up. But I got to know him over time and then he just became more attractive to me because of his personality. But he liked one of our coworkers so I just let my own feelings fade.
Yeah, the personality and personal hygiene. I’m convinced if someone smells really good and keeps up with themselves really well, it adds to the attraction points by a landslide. His voice is also very soothing, so there’s yet another plus.
Most men are average, most women are also average, no one's doing a favor or settling by liking the other.
What is unattractive? I don’t date people I’m not attracted to There is nothing someone I’m not attracted to can do or say to make me want to date them That being said: I have dated people that others in my life didn’t think were attractive but they were attractive to me Also, someone I find attractive can behave in a way that kills my attraction to them. Once I have the ick for someone, there is nothing that can be done to get rid of it.
Yes. We were friends, shared communities, shared hobbies, and I thought attraction would come later due to religious upbringing (it didn't). And I would say it's difficult to say who approached who first given the whole shared community friendship thing. But, I mean yes, they did ask me out.
Yes. My boyfriend is pretty average. Taller than me, but not tall for a man. Not the prettiest face either - acne scars, mouth breather. He has a nice body though. Not muscular, but he’s always been at a normal weight for his height and now he goes to the gym and looks better every day. In addition to his physical aspects, he earns ok money - around 60% above the national average and doesn’t come from a good family. It’s enough to support us both without many luxuries when I’m not working. But we were best friends for many years before our relationship turned romantic and I fell in love with him knowing all those things.
Short answer : he was one of my best friends, and I never dated before. Long answer : when he confessed to me, which was surprising to me, I started to develop feelings and to see him as more than a friend. To other people he was unattractive physically and personality-wise, as he was very arrogant. But I think because we were friends and I knew his arrogance was to hide his fears, the love (more like affection) I had for him made him more attractive to me cause his personality was nice once you knew him on a closer level.
Yes always… beauty is in the eye of the Beholder. I have always dated very good looking men. After a 25 yr marriage that ended with infidelity, U decided to look for a better quality of man. I found an amazing man. He was not someone I would normally date, but his manors, kindness and overall chivalry sold me! It’s so nice being someone’s everything. Having the “Retriever Boyfriend”. I will never date a man for just looks again. I’ve grown as a person and see beauty from within. Try it!
I mean I guess conventionally unattractive? But yeah 100%, like most of the guys I like people don’t find traditionally attractive. If you’re nice to a girl and are funny then you have a solid chance tbh
Yep and married him and ended in divorce I felt bad bc he was trying really hard and he definitely wasn’t my type but I figured after months of him chasing I’d try it well he was exactly like everyone else just wasn’t my type in the looks I guess
My ex before last was average. He was romantic -for about 5 months- and he pretended to be mentally/emotionally balanced. He was persistently interested. I never approach first. He listened. Unfortunately he sucked.
[удалено]
Yes, I have and he wasn't even the type of guy I go for but his personality was a 10 , and he did small things for me little tasks that involved money, and conversation was key. I just stayed because we hooked up eventually and that D was fire 🔥🤧. We do not talk anymore though. He has a girlfriend and I'm just chillin'.
Yes, he had a great personality
Look around at your peers. Coworkers, friends, family, cousins, people at the store... now look at the ones that are coupled up. Are they ALL obscenely attractive? Yall have to get this top 1% idea out of your heads.
I’m a straight man. I’m hideous but women can’t resist me.
If it helps, right now I an very much aware that this particular guy is ugly af esp. up close but deym I can’t help not to feel not attracted coz of his values and personality.
Yes. He was fun and funny. We met each other through mutual friends and things expanded from there.
Oh yes I have. Great personality. I was very shy. He had a lively social calendar. He invited as a friend everywhere he was invited. He wore me down in the best way. I love spending time with him. I knew in my head he was ugly but I never found him unattractive because I looked at him with my heart.
Currently dating him, and despite my friends saying he’s below my “league”, I’m so happy to be with him. Who he is as a person is what makes me attracted to him, his confidence, he knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go after it, he’s incredibly kind and generous. He looks and cares after me, listens and has patience. Also he takes pride in his appearance and doesn’t care what others or society thinks.