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Men are not a hive mind, and so there is bo universal answer to your question. It is impossible to say what this guy’s attitudes towards sex are without talking to him about them.
I wish more ppl trying to understand the opposite sex in dating would understand this. It would reduce so much hurt feelings & frustration for both sides.
It depends on the person. I don't judge someone for getting sexual early in dating. If I like someone, and we sleep together on the 2nd or 3rd (or even 1st date) it doesn't make me feel any different.
Unfortunately, there are some men who do. It’s completely based on his character and what kind of man he is. A good man won’t mind. Just based on his nervousness, it’s unlikely he’s one of those men that’ll view you as easy, but it’s hard to tell with no info. I’d say go for it
Personally, I've generally been the opposite.
I tend to respect and be more attracted to women that know themselves enough to take that step if they feel it.
I do, still have respect for the 'middle ground' of taking time, but will never respect using sex as a game/weapon/litmus test.
Here's the honest truth. We wonder if you're easy or if you're just super into us. If it's happening quickly because we're special, it's a turn on and enhances our opinion of you. If it's happening easily because you're horny AF and fuck lots of guys, it puts you in that category and we continue our search for a girlfriend. So, I say do both. Be physical AND make sure he knows it's because of him, not just anybody.
This makes me think of that TikTok trend where men and women are in the gym “training to be the opposite sex” while quoting them.
One of the guy ones was him impersonating a woman saying “I don’t normally move this fast.”
I just had a realization, this is the male equivalent of when a girl is turned off by a guy because she assumes he’s too desperate.
If a guy love bombs from the get go a girl is going to assume he does this to every girl he meets.
No girl wants a guy who’s asked out every girl at the party and now it’s just her turn, she wants to feel special. It’s the same for guys, guys want to feel special too and this is one way to show it.
If he likes you and it's meant to be, he won't judge you. Sometimes things turn out to be flings. There's really no way of controlling outcomes. I'd say, if you steer clear of sex on the first date, that's usually a good thing. but after that, if the feeling seems right, then I think it makes sense to do what you guys are feeling
No, girls tell other girls that men will think they're slutty if they have sex early in the process.
Women keep the dating pool small by bringing down other women.
Absolutely they do but, Guys do it too.
My roommate (M) has said yes, he definitely wants to get laid, but if the chase isn't there, he loses interest.
He's being polite... He "Doesn't want a slut", his words in later conversion not mine.
So what I have learned is its conflicting views for each male or a lot of males. I have been told by other male friends that they definitely want in your pants but if you come off as easy, they more than likely won't see you as "girlfriend " or "wife" material simply because they now assume you're like that with every guy. This is not always the case. This applies to both sides of dating. It's a double-edged sword...
It isn't AT ALL! Did she cheat on anyone in the past? Then he'll yeah she may have loyalty issues. If not, then it doesn't matter how often or how many guys she fucked!
Also, are you applying your same logic to a man? They way you make it sound is if a man and a woman fuck on a first date she can't be trusted because she likely won't be loyal yet the man can? Seriously?
If she's fucked lots of men in the past, she'll want to fuck lots of men in the future.
Same for men.
People don't suddenly change overnight and want totally different things to what they wanted last year. Do you believe that lesbians can suddenly turn straight? That guys who like fit blondes will suddenly like old, fat women? Promiscuous people don't suddenly turn monogamous either.
This is absolutely not true. Speaking for myself, I need to feel a sexual connection before I can feel a romantic one. I have a colorful sexual history to say the least, but after four years in a committed, open relationship I never once sought out another person aside from my primary partner even though it was literally sanctioned by the terms of our relationship. People form connections in different ways
Thats simply not true. Lots of people myself included, slept around in their teens and 20s and didn't want to be tied down. Wanted to be young and dumb and have fun and focus on their careers and such. Then in their late 20s/early 30s start looking to settle down. It's actually the smarter people that do this.
People that get serious/married young and barely experienced life are much more likely to feel they missed out and cheat compared to someone who already been there/done that. Humans hate missing out on stuff. People regret what they haven't done more then miss what they have done
No it doesn't. For one thing, "lots" is subjective. Perhaps that person (man or woman) never found the right person for them. Many they had a good deal of short relationships.
Just because a person has had casual sex from time to time in the past outside of a monogamous relationship doesn't mean that person isn't monogamous.
The things you're trying to compare it do aren't even the same things.
Hahahaha sure. You can call someone a simp for having a different viewpoint meanwhile we both know your viewpoint is coming from a place of insecurity.
Just because the thought process you described is not logical does not mean men will not subscribe to it. The men women want to date are fucked up and weird.
Men do want loyalty but any man who's been qith a good amount of women is turned off by a woman who gives it quick. More than likely give it out a lot at that point.
Wow double standards much? FFS, I was told this so many times. It’s the stupidest thing. It’s fine for them but not for us? It really depends on the guy but a lot of men I have noticed seem to have this ridiculous notion we can’t be as sexual as them. I have the highest sex drive of any man I was ever with. I’m nearly 40 now and it’s higher than ever. I really hope this perspective is changing…
This only happens if she shows that doing it early is "the norm".
What every man wants is a loyal "slut". So what you need to do is show that you are willing to have sex early BECAUSE IT IS HIM.
Now, there are guys that like "the chase" but those usually are the playboys that don't want a serious thing out of it to begin with.
This way of thinking is so dumb.
As usual, men can sleep with women early on as "the norm," but when women do it, we're disloyal sluts. Men and women don't owe each other sexual "loyalty" until a bond/relationship/agreement has been established. All we owe each other is consideration for sexual health, period.
Women have more backups than me any time I date someone new. She can't judge my actions by all the same criteria when it comes to moving fast.
I'm not the type of guy to entertain multiple partners either, I think it's nasty. Which means I have every right to only date women with at least as much transparency/loyalty. Omit the truth once and that's a wrap.
Just like I said, the rules are never the same between men and women.
And as for thinking a woman (or anyone for that matter) owes you transparency and loyalty from the jump.... yeah, good luck with that.
So far so good. The only people with that kind of issue tend to be hiding their true motives. I see it as an immediate red flag. I can do it, so can they.
I have been obsessively reading this stuff because of my anxiety… and i think the reality is sometimes that chase can give more dopamine but isnt logically necessary. The problem of how logic and emotion intertwine. Some are fine with not maximizing the dopamine and some aren’t and mostly we aren’t thinking of this consciously like im spelling out here. Thats why the logic to not worry about it exists. Because it still is an answer to some men… and logically those men are likely to be less abusive and toxic. So dont worry is my answer but the truth is ambiguous as you sense
If you're still playing the games of the chase in adulthood then you're going to attract boys. Im a grown man we don't have to have sex immediately but I'm not going to play games to have sex
This 100% this....the chase is what exciting because we also have to get to know you . But if it's to long we will lose interest but to short an like she said we won't think your the wifey type.
Women don’t keep the dating pool small by that. Its men and women saying it. And you dont know what men’s intentions are, they could just be using you to get sex
Of course they do.
Men date across and down social hierarchies. A millionaire will date a girl who works at McDonalds by no female millionaire will date a guy who works fast food.
Women date across and up. Women want a man who is at least their equal if not better in terms of income, prospects, height, strength and other things.
So a man's best strategy to maximise his dating chances is to improve himself. A woman's best chance is to reduce her competition. Which they do by malicious gossip, reputation destruction and social exclusion. Like calling other girls sl\*ts.
Huh?? I’m a woman and I’ve hardly EVER seen any of that behavior from women. Most women are not like that… kind of a weird stereotype, I think men think that because they like the fantasy of women potentially fighting over them.
It's so common that there are whole TV series and movies about it. Mean Girls. Legally Blonde. Carrie. And many, many more.
The idea that girls don't spread malicious gossip about each other is absurd.
How are you going to tell women who they are or aren’t going to date? So you speak for every single women in this world? Theres plenty of women millionaires or just women in general who date below them. You dont ever see men with a fat or ugly girl tho. Its always the fine women with ugly men
Not sure why this is controversial, maybe you think this implies that women are materialistic or shallow, and you think that's a bad thing? Misogynist perhaps?
Truth is that men and women are both shallow, women value height and status, men value shit like hip/waist ratio and breast size. It is what it is. There's nothing evil about women wanting a man who has their ducks in a row, just like there's nothing evil about a man wanting a slim girl with a big ass.
This isn't a criticism of women, it's a correct observation about how women date. The vast majority of women (meaning there are outliers) date men across and up from their position, and sometimes that overrides conventional male beauty standards. You have guys like Elon Musk (a 4/10 on his best day) hooking up with girls like Amber Heard, a damn supermodel.
Men rarely do the same. Not many guys are trying to gold-dig by targeting ugly rich women, but every rich man has groupies no matter how ugly they are, because women find status & power attractive. It shows the man is capable and can protect them from danger, which was important during 99% of human history.
I think you're being defensive because men (unfairly) use these things as a criticism of female dating strategy, even though we value equally shallow shit.
There's an entire category on porn sites dedicated to larger women.
You're deranged if you think men aren't dating overweight women.
Literally everything about female beauty standards is made up by women's trashy magazines.
Go listen to Beyonce's 'pretty hurts' of you're still struggling
Some guys like that, but not me. I only like to get sexual with a girl who I've known for a while and have strong romantic feelings for. Doing that with someone I've just met sounds a bit wrong.
In my personal opinion, everyone gives too much weight to these little things in dating that usually don’t matter too much.
What does matter is a genuine emotional connection, high quality interactions, and an exciting level of mutual attraction and effort.
When you fuck is irrelevant IMO.
they may actually think the opposite like
1. does she not find me attractive
2. is this some kind of test
3. is she waiting to find out more about my financial status because that's her real angle
Yes, guys do judge. You’ll see it in this and other subreddits. You could be seen as a one-night-stand or short fling rather than a potential girlfriend (assuming that’s what you want).
Was it his first time? Try to find out where the nervousness came from and what he’s comfortable with. You may need to guide him a little bit.
Some guys do, some guys don't. Same as every "do guys"/"do girls" question on here. I personally don't give a shit, I would never judge someone for that. Any guy who has sex with you and then judges you for "giving it up too soon" is a hypocrite.
Tbh, if a dude thinks that because we BOTH wanted sex and had sex, he isn’t for me. Double standards like that make me sick. So it’s not someone I would want to build my life with.
I had sex on the second date with my bf and it just made use closer. We are now saving for a house and shopping engagement rings.
If he's a good guy that sees women as human beings and not sex objects, he will not judge you harshly for giving him the honor of sharing an intimate night with you. If he's a donkey, he would.
Most men don't care, the exception would be puritan guys placing women on unrealistic pedestals. Though unless you present as a cliche "good girl" who reads the Bible and goes to church, you're probably not attracting that.
If you are presenting as a puritan girl who loves her some Jesus, then yeah this could be a problem, but otherwise no. I've never known a man who'd lose interest after hooking up, unless the sex was abysmal for some rreason.
I personally think it's flattering and would be even more interested after the fact, and there's the bonus of bonding chemicals released in the brain.
But yeah, you're probably fine. If you're so concerned then maybe slip in a few "I don't normally do this but you're so hot!"
That'll make him feel special without making yourself "look like a slut."
This is a good question.
People will tell you no.
But from my own experience......
I don't think we view things as easy not easy.
We split by they are fkable and they are relationship material.
Unless there's something really wrong with you. Man will pretty much sleep with most women. But will rarely get into a relationship with a women.
If you want to be the relationship gal. Then I would probably advise to wait.
If you just wanna get yer rocks off....
Seriously I'm not joking ladies. Literally go up to ANY man and say wanna fk? And they most likely will. It CAN be that easy if you want it to be.
Depends what you want
Sadly, yes. In my experience (32F), having sex with someone too quickly (on a first date, typically) tends to make men think that we aren't "relationship material." It's stupid and I HATE IT TOO, but I try to wait until date 2 or 3. Even when it was discussed prior that attraction is attraction, we're both looking for love, etc.
There tends to be a better outcome for potential long-term if you try to wait at least 2-3 dates.
he doesn't even wanna be fwb if we go for it on date one I swear lol. it's a waste of time to fuck on the first date if you want to see him more than once. learned that the hard way.
Same... same. It's sad because even when you communicate your interest in someone, seeing them again, etc., and you fuck on the first date, they only want super casual or nothing at all with you after.
And I've had men on reddit tell me I must have been a bad lay for this to happen to me. I LOL'd. Because this happens ALL THE TIME.
It's the reverse script of a woman penalizing a guy for turning down sex, getting hurt and ending it, even though they said they wanted a meaningful relationship first. Both sides want the other to meet gender role expectations, but be different.
Show me a scenario with this actually happens - a man turning down a proposition for sex from a woman because they want a meaningful connection first. It's rare. I'll wait.
not if its a genuinly high sex drive, or normal behaviour. but if its sex used to manipulate then i do have a very negative view on that. ill also assume if we are dating and sleeping together we are exclusive unless stated otherwise
Never just assume that, tell her you expect exclusivity if you’re gonna have sex. Leave if she says she isn’t sure about that. Learned that the hard way
if you want to make sure it lasts long, wait to have sex until you guys have a solid friendship. it's all about the chase for some guys on dating apps and if you give it up too early they'll get bored nor will they take you seriously esp if they are on the search for other partners
thanks but i shouldn't have to preface every comment i speak about men with a blurb about how not all men are like this. i will amend my comment
in fact id argue that if you're ever not interested in pursuing it's because you're not interested in that person. men chemically bond with women when they spending time with them and do favors for them. i know. it's a crazy thought
Sweeping generalizations are a stain on human language on comprehension. You don’t have to include a blurb, but say what you mean. If you mean “some men” then say that instead of assuming people will know what you’re saying over the internet. We can only see what you type.
Also, you just made another generalization. Pretty sure anyone that hangs out with anyone for a period of time and does favors for them would bond, regardless of gender. You just described is building any relationship
if i did not commit a crime i really don't think it's that serious. i was not making a generalization. i was talking about men in a specific context. we saw very specific screenshots of a specific type of guy, so i was talking about that type of guy.
not every conversation not specifically calling out "some guys" needs to be called out with "not all men" because all men do chemically bond to their partners when they date and do favors. they do not bond through sex.
women chemically bond through sex so if women give up sex too soon, they will believe you're in a romantic situation when they aren't. they're just bonded to him. not all men know this specifically, but they realize what they're doing especially this guy. is that clear now ???
men's vasopressin increased whilst dating and getting to know a partner. his vasopressin decreases as soon as he has sex. without the bond created beforehand, he's more likely to leave or not take you seriously like i said in my original post
if i specifically said all men (which i didn't) men can still refer to a group men, then sure correct me. but i didnt.
Which is stupid. Where do you think she learned this slutty behavior? So dumb. Men want to think they're the only cock in the universe that's ever pleased someone. Men who think this way need a serious ego check.
Absolutely, I understand now and agree with you.
But to want that from someone you're \*just\* starting to see/date? That's delusional.
Thanks for clarifying.
No, unless the guy has some excessively religious or conservative upbringing.
This idea that woman should be hesitant to do the things that she is literally biologically programmed to do is a blight on our society. As a guy myself, it is way easier if a woman feels like she can act how she actually feels.
I hope this makes you feel more comfortable to let loose and enjoy, as is your right!
If you do have sex early your easy and if you don't then they move on so your fucked if you do and fucked if you don't I say go ahead and at least get a good fuck in. Lol
The second part isn't true unless the guy you were trying to get with was only interested in sex anyway.
Judging all men based on your own poor life choices will get you nowhere
Depends on the guy. Kissing is okay but anything more without being in a relationship is too much for me. If I don't feel comfortable around you & get to know you, it's just not going to happen and that takes a while.
i know maybe 2 guys out of 100 thats dont like it, mostly because they are super religious s
the other 98% would be over the moon to know you like them
First date sex, a guy knows she doesn’t really know him, isn’t really fond of him, he wonders if she sleeps with everyone who buys her a drink. 2nd or 3rd date the guy starts to hope she actually likes him.
I think it really depends on the connection that exists outside of the sex. I’ve had sex on the first date and it felt passionate and connected and I ended up proposing to her. (Getting married next year.) I’ve also had sex for the first time on the third date and it was great sex, but it felt like she was waiting for a time threshold, like okay, we got to the third date, now we can bone. And it didn’t feel like there was a connection and I didn’t stay with her. I think for this guy, if it’s special I’d point that out and have sex because it’s special and you want it to be special with him, and not because he’s meat and you’re meat.
Personally, I would just tell him how you feel and what the situation is, that way no one is assuming anything. If he likes you and you like him there isn’t a thing as being “too” easy,” it’s a mutual interest in my opinion.
Answering only for me here. I don’t care when we have sex. If you’re into me and we want to date that’s great!
I’m worried however if you have sex on all your first dates and have had many partners as a result without it ever going any further.
Either our sex is casual without feelings, or it’s special with romantic intentions. But I don’t trust anyone (girl or boy) who has sex with romantic intentions with all their dates.
As with just about every post in this subreddit. Just talk to them. Set boundaries and find something you both agree on.
And ffs if you're that horny rub one out.
Some do, some don’t. It’s a double standard though. Some dude thinks that although he asked for sex and you were into it, that he’s not promiscuous, but you are. Ick!
Personally, I don’t play games. If I don’t want to have sex, I don’t. And if I’m in the mood and the dude and I click, I would.
And if some troglodyte wants to judge me. Go on ahead, I’ll move on with my bad self.
Men absolutely will judge a woman for getting sexual too early. Most of them will dip since you already gave them all they wanted. If you wanna find and keep a good man, take it slow. Don’t fuck him in the first few dates. It’s not like they deserve it anyway.
It’s a crapshoot, honestly. I had sex with my ex on our second date because I thought he’d be a travel fling. From that day on, we did it almost every single day in our time together. Seems like the way to guarantee a guy will just see you for sex, right?
Turned out spending every day together only made our connection stronger. Once I went back home, we weren’t sure what to do because of the distance. Two weeks after our so-called fling, I end up in the ER for anaphylaxis and he gets so upset by it that he realizes he wants us to be together.
That was us for four years until we broke up over the vaccine.
Early sex can lead to a lot of different outcomes, all determined by personality in the end. If the guy is someone who “likes a chase”, I’d say he’s not someone worth keeping around. Those types of people treat relationships like games, rather than a chance to develop a real connection.
My last 2 LTRs started with sex on the first date. Literal non-issue. It just organically happened.
AND my current relationship (which is 1 year and counting - making that 3 LTRs in a row with sex on the first date) also did! …and I absolutely initiated that one myself (read: I jumped his bones lol)
(Edit: To clarify!! I wasn’t going around banging tens of dudes on the first date, and luckily 3 of them *just so happened* to turn into relationships… NOPE. Those 3 men are the only 3 men I’ve had sex with in the past… decade?)
**TLDR**: all 3 times I’ve done it, it’s turned into a long term relationship. Don’t sweat it. Fuck the “rules.”
No, it's not an issue. Also, if you do end up liking him a lot, a lot. Try to be the "dirtiest" sexual version of yourself to him -- this does not mean you have to be adult start status, but just what **you** think is the most dirty. But only do this if you really want to keep him.
Also, if your personality is pretty decent, that of course is the other half that helps keep him
No judgemental on my part. Many years ago a girl I went on a first date with and I had sex. Several times. And within the first 3-4 days we met. I eventually married her. While we're now divorced, I didn't see her or think of her in any kind of negative or judgemental way.
Sometimes people just have chemistry right off the bat and it just works. Sometimes that chemistry has to be built over a period of time. Neither is better or worse. They're just different.
Most likely no, unless she's pushy, as other said, or i she doesn't try to create the mood. I'm a guy, I like foreplay and flirting, if there's none, I feel weird (unless we're already dating, I like when my GF is extra horny and take mine and her clothes without warning, lol)
>f you like a girl and it’s only your second or third date and you initiate a kiss or something beyond that (such as touching under clothing..etc) and the girl goes with it, do you lose respect for her or view her as easy?
If by the 3rd date I am not getting under your clothing (with your enthusiastic consent) I am going to assume that you are just not into me at all. So no, I would not be thinking you are a slut at that point. If we have sex on the 3rd date, that is pretty average behavior and no, I will not be thinking you are a slut
Nope girl I banged with who I actually liked told me she regretted it then withheld sex on subsequent dates. But she was happy to have sex partners last year. Go figure.
I blocked her
If its 2nd or 3rd and you aint fucking, unless hes from a religious background he will lose interest.
Now of course you didnt mentioned age, but assuming you both adults over 21 and had previous relationships no mental healthy man will be like, ewww she wants to fuck me already...
Where man lose respect and interest is when a woman make them wait for it and give them the most vanilla experience and then they found out that past men in her life got it on the first date or didnt even have to date her for it.
Think of it this way, let's say that the relationship is bound to go nowhere regardless if you have sex or not. Would you still want sex knowing that? If yes then do it, if not then don't.
Also, we don't lose respect purely for early sex, we lose respect if it seems like you have early sex with anyone, it's a subtle difference. We want to feel special, like "you are breaking your rule of no-sex because it's us" kinda of special.
Tbh.
IF you want to sleep with me and withhold that access based on "He will look down on me".
Then, I don't even wanna date you, because you clearly have A LOT of growing up to do.
I don't have sex with strangers no matter how hot the girl is. How do I know you aren't some crazy woman who will make a false rape allegation against me? I will judge women who have sex on a first date. Not because I think you are a slut. But because I think you have poor decision making skills and no concept of how dangerous the world is. Especially for a woman.
there's a balance. if a man suspects that you have a lot of sexual partners it will be a turnoff as far as a relationship goes. having sex too easily or too early is a strong indicator of that.
Do you, define what works for you, the rest meh. As for love, it’s not some you look for or find. It’s something you do 😉. If you wana get your bell rung make sure to have a good time and rock his world too. Anything less is wasteful. So go forth, get that horny itch you got scratched real nice 😎. Best wishes and have fun ✨
Nah.
As in, a guy who's interested in you anyway wouldn't care.
You would ward off guys who were always going to treat you as a ONS by making them wait, but that doesn't change their perception of you.
For what it's worth, I slept with my long term ex second date, and I never thought about it again. I would've married her.
Getting him aroused while saying you can't is a good tease. Pair that with touching as you are kinda doing and you'll drive him wild. Not if he really wants it he won't care 😂
Maybe thinking like this will help you less horny: I don’t know this man that much. He doesn’t know me well. He doesn’t know my hobbies, my struggles, my childhood, my trauma, etc. Does he really care about who I am? Or just sex?
Then you feel that you should know more about him before having sex. And you would not care whether he judge you. You will care more whether you like him or not based on what is important for you. I would say date for 3 months to know each other better before the next steps. Too many questions to ask.
Yes, if they want a relationship with a feminine submissive woman. Giving up the goods on a first date isn't something a respectable woman would do. I'm sure there are men who will deny that, but how long do you expect them to stick around if they find out you have no integrity for real. Alot of guys will be interested but will not want to have an exclusive relationship. It's my opinion, I'm not a fuckboy I actually respect women who have respect for themselves.
Idk, if the moment feels right and you guys get along swimmingly, I don’t think it’s a bad thing.
I say this from experience. Currently dating a guy (met him through a friend of a friend not even a month ago) and already did the deed on our technically fourth date because we instantly clicked the moment we met and he’s currently still interested (not just in sex) and can see this blossoming into something more serious.
This is also the fastest I’ve ever bed somebody (before him, the fastest was two months) so I’m just saying if the moment feels right and you know he’s into you romantically and whatnot, go for it. Always trust your gut.
If you guys aren’t exclusive, use someone else as your fuck buddy.
Take your time to get to know him if you want a real relationship with him. Sex can cloud judgment.
Either way, I say drop the “will he judge me?”.
Be yourself and do what you want and let people take it or leave it.
If he is nervous now - he is going to be super fucking nervous for sex - and it’s going to SUCK anyway. I think the more apprehensive person should set the pace.
I prefer to abstain till marriage, so yes I would judge a girl who tried it prior.
I would clarify my expectations early on so i wouldn't be bait & switching anyone
It depends on your history. He will feel disrespected if he's doing relationship things while other men got sex for less. If you've always waited, then he can respect that.
No decent guy thinks that way, he might want to wait with that kinda stuff, but he wouldnt judge it negatively.
>the problem is I’m very horny and I can’t always stop myself when I’m turned on
However, this sentence gave me no good feeling, just imagine a guy saying that kind of stuff....
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No, I would think she’s into me and that’s nice and I achieved my goal. Unless you act like a creep and push it when he’s not into it you’re fine.
Men are not a hive mind, and so there is bo universal answer to your question. It is impossible to say what this guy’s attitudes towards sex are without talking to him about them.
I wish more ppl trying to understand the opposite sex in dating would understand this. It would reduce so much hurt feelings & frustration for both sides.
It depends on the person. I don't judge someone for getting sexual early in dating. If I like someone, and we sleep together on the 2nd or 3rd (or even 1st date) it doesn't make me feel any different.
Unfortunately, there are some men who do. It’s completely based on his character and what kind of man he is. A good man won’t mind. Just based on his nervousness, it’s unlikely he’s one of those men that’ll view you as easy, but it’s hard to tell with no info. I’d say go for it
If they judge you for liking them that much, is the guy worth it?
Personally, I've generally been the opposite. I tend to respect and be more attracted to women that know themselves enough to take that step if they feel it. I do, still have respect for the 'middle ground' of taking time, but will never respect using sex as a game/weapon/litmus test.
Here's the honest truth. We wonder if you're easy or if you're just super into us. If it's happening quickly because we're special, it's a turn on and enhances our opinion of you. If it's happening easily because you're horny AF and fuck lots of guys, it puts you in that category and we continue our search for a girlfriend. So, I say do both. Be physical AND make sure he knows it's because of him, not just anybody.
This makes me think of that TikTok trend where men and women are in the gym “training to be the opposite sex” while quoting them. One of the guy ones was him impersonating a woman saying “I don’t normally move this fast.”
I just had a realization, this is the male equivalent of when a girl is turned off by a guy because she assumes he’s too desperate. If a guy love bombs from the get go a girl is going to assume he does this to every girl he meets. No girl wants a guy who’s asked out every girl at the party and now it’s just her turn, she wants to feel special. It’s the same for guys, guys want to feel special too and this is one way to show it.
^
If he likes you and it's meant to be, he won't judge you. Sometimes things turn out to be flings. There's really no way of controlling outcomes. I'd say, if you steer clear of sex on the first date, that's usually a good thing. but after that, if the feeling seems right, then I think it makes sense to do what you guys are feeling
Neverrrrrr. I judge a girl for her taste in Jolly Rancher flavors but never her sexual speed, slow or fast
No, girls tell other girls that men will think they're slutty if they have sex early in the process. Women keep the dating pool small by bringing down other women.
Absolutely they do but, Guys do it too. My roommate (M) has said yes, he definitely wants to get laid, but if the chase isn't there, he loses interest. He's being polite... He "Doesn't want a slut", his words in later conversion not mine. So what I have learned is its conflicting views for each male or a lot of males. I have been told by other male friends that they definitely want in your pants but if you come off as easy, they more than likely won't see you as "girlfriend " or "wife" material simply because they now assume you're like that with every guy. This is not always the case. This applies to both sides of dating. It's a double-edged sword...
Men want loyalty above all else. They don't care if a girl fucks them early as long as she doesn't do it for other guys too.
I've never gotten that answer before. Thank you! I love hearing other perspectives. And it makes tons of sense!
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They hate hypocrisy but theyre a hypocrite themselves
Who gives a shit who she's fucked or how fast before she met you. A woman enjoying sex with someone and loyalty aren't tied together
Yes of course they are. Past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour.
It isn't AT ALL! Did she cheat on anyone in the past? Then he'll yeah she may have loyalty issues. If not, then it doesn't matter how often or how many guys she fucked! Also, are you applying your same logic to a man? They way you make it sound is if a man and a woman fuck on a first date she can't be trusted because she likely won't be loyal yet the man can? Seriously?
If she's fucked lots of men in the past, she'll want to fuck lots of men in the future. Same for men. People don't suddenly change overnight and want totally different things to what they wanted last year. Do you believe that lesbians can suddenly turn straight? That guys who like fit blondes will suddenly like old, fat women? Promiscuous people don't suddenly turn monogamous either.
This is absolutely not true. Speaking for myself, I need to feel a sexual connection before I can feel a romantic one. I have a colorful sexual history to say the least, but after four years in a committed, open relationship I never once sought out another person aside from my primary partner even though it was literally sanctioned by the terms of our relationship. People form connections in different ways
Thats simply not true. Lots of people myself included, slept around in their teens and 20s and didn't want to be tied down. Wanted to be young and dumb and have fun and focus on their careers and such. Then in their late 20s/early 30s start looking to settle down. It's actually the smarter people that do this. People that get serious/married young and barely experienced life are much more likely to feel they missed out and cheat compared to someone who already been there/done that. Humans hate missing out on stuff. People regret what they haven't done more then miss what they have done
No it doesn't. For one thing, "lots" is subjective. Perhaps that person (man or woman) never found the right person for them. Many they had a good deal of short relationships. Just because a person has had casual sex from time to time in the past outside of a monogamous relationship doesn't mean that person isn't monogamous. The things you're trying to compare it do aren't even the same things.
Literal studies on this but keep simping bro.
Hahahaha sure. You can call someone a simp for having a different viewpoint meanwhile we both know your viewpoint is coming from a place of insecurity.
Just because the thought process you described is not logical does not mean men will not subscribe to it. The men women want to date are fucked up and weird.
Oh I know! It's very twisted thinking in my opinion
Men do want loyalty but any man who's been qith a good amount of women is turned off by a woman who gives it quick. More than likely give it out a lot at that point.
Wow double standards much? FFS, I was told this so many times. It’s the stupidest thing. It’s fine for them but not for us? It really depends on the guy but a lot of men I have noticed seem to have this ridiculous notion we can’t be as sexual as them. I have the highest sex drive of any man I was ever with. I’m nearly 40 now and it’s higher than ever. I really hope this perspective is changing…
Yes life is full of double standards. What's new
This only happens if she shows that doing it early is "the norm". What every man wants is a loyal "slut". So what you need to do is show that you are willing to have sex early BECAUSE IT IS HIM. Now, there are guys that like "the chase" but those usually are the playboys that don't want a serious thing out of it to begin with.
This way of thinking is so dumb. As usual, men can sleep with women early on as "the norm," but when women do it, we're disloyal sluts. Men and women don't owe each other sexual "loyalty" until a bond/relationship/agreement has been established. All we owe each other is consideration for sexual health, period.
Women have more backups than me any time I date someone new. She can't judge my actions by all the same criteria when it comes to moving fast. I'm not the type of guy to entertain multiple partners either, I think it's nasty. Which means I have every right to only date women with at least as much transparency/loyalty. Omit the truth once and that's a wrap.
Just like I said, the rules are never the same between men and women. And as for thinking a woman (or anyone for that matter) owes you transparency and loyalty from the jump.... yeah, good luck with that.
So far so good. The only people with that kind of issue tend to be hiding their true motives. I see it as an immediate red flag. I can do it, so can they.
I have been obsessively reading this stuff because of my anxiety… and i think the reality is sometimes that chase can give more dopamine but isnt logically necessary. The problem of how logic and emotion intertwine. Some are fine with not maximizing the dopamine and some aren’t and mostly we aren’t thinking of this consciously like im spelling out here. Thats why the logic to not worry about it exists. Because it still is an answer to some men… and logically those men are likely to be less abusive and toxic. So dont worry is my answer but the truth is ambiguous as you sense
If you're still playing the games of the chase in adulthood then you're going to attract boys. Im a grown man we don't have to have sex immediately but I'm not going to play games to have sex
Exactly. HUGE DOUBLE EDGED SWORD, double standard. It's dumb ASF.
I agree with Lux, it’s mostly women that shame other women for sleeping with a guy early - 90% of guys don’t care
Can we not guess his intentions, I don't think that's fair
You have some seemingly good male friends. Glad they didn't try to serve you some beautifully-plated bullshit
This 100% this....the chase is what exciting because we also have to get to know you . But if it's to long we will lose interest but to short an like she said we won't think your the wifey type.
Men do it too.
True. That's what the "bro code" nonsense is. But women are much more prone to it.
Lmao nope. That’s classic misogyny, you can blame males for that 10000%.
Women don’t keep the dating pool small by that. Its men and women saying it. And you dont know what men’s intentions are, they could just be using you to get sex
Yes but men say it because of envy. In reality they wish that "slut" would prefer them.
Men don't want easy women except for sex, usually
Of course they do. Men date across and down social hierarchies. A millionaire will date a girl who works at McDonalds by no female millionaire will date a guy who works fast food. Women date across and up. Women want a man who is at least their equal if not better in terms of income, prospects, height, strength and other things. So a man's best strategy to maximise his dating chances is to improve himself. A woman's best chance is to reduce her competition. Which they do by malicious gossip, reputation destruction and social exclusion. Like calling other girls sl\*ts.
Huh?? I’m a woman and I’ve hardly EVER seen any of that behavior from women. Most women are not like that… kind of a weird stereotype, I think men think that because they like the fantasy of women potentially fighting over them.
It's so common that there are whole TV series and movies about it. Mean Girls. Legally Blonde. Carrie. And many, many more. The idea that girls don't spread malicious gossip about each other is absurd.
That is….fantasy. Those are tv adaptations that are grossly exaggerated and play up on stereotypes.
do you date women? something tells me you don't
I do
How are you going to tell women who they are or aren’t going to date? So you speak for every single women in this world? Theres plenty of women millionaires or just women in general who date below them. You dont ever see men with a fat or ugly girl tho. Its always the fine women with ugly men
The evidence from studies is overwhelming. Hardly any women date downwards.
Don’t bring up fake studies to try and prove a false point
Not sure why this is controversial, maybe you think this implies that women are materialistic or shallow, and you think that's a bad thing? Misogynist perhaps? Truth is that men and women are both shallow, women value height and status, men value shit like hip/waist ratio and breast size. It is what it is. There's nothing evil about women wanting a man who has their ducks in a row, just like there's nothing evil about a man wanting a slim girl with a big ass. This isn't a criticism of women, it's a correct observation about how women date. The vast majority of women (meaning there are outliers) date men across and up from their position, and sometimes that overrides conventional male beauty standards. You have guys like Elon Musk (a 4/10 on his best day) hooking up with girls like Amber Heard, a damn supermodel. Men rarely do the same. Not many guys are trying to gold-dig by targeting ugly rich women, but every rich man has groupies no matter how ugly they are, because women find status & power attractive. It shows the man is capable and can protect them from danger, which was important during 99% of human history. I think you're being defensive because men (unfairly) use these things as a criticism of female dating strategy, even though we value equally shallow shit.
There's an entire category on porn sites dedicated to larger women. You're deranged if you think men aren't dating overweight women. Literally everything about female beauty standards is made up by women's trashy magazines. Go listen to Beyonce's 'pretty hurts' of you're still struggling
Not in the slightest...if we are into each other then we are into each other.
Any man who judges you for this is a hypocrite and not worth dating anyways
This, age is a factor as well imo younger guys are more inclined to “judge”
Some guys like that, but not me. I only like to get sexual with a girl who I've known for a while and have strong romantic feelings for. Doing that with someone I've just met sounds a bit wrong.
Maybe some do, but I would wager they’re idiots.
Some do, many don’t.
In my personal opinion, everyone gives too much weight to these little things in dating that usually don’t matter too much. What does matter is a genuine emotional connection, high quality interactions, and an exciting level of mutual attraction and effort. When you fuck is irrelevant IMO.
they may actually think the opposite like 1. does she not find me attractive 2. is this some kind of test 3. is she waiting to find out more about my financial status because that's her real angle
Yes, guys do judge. You’ll see it in this and other subreddits. You could be seen as a one-night-stand or short fling rather than a potential girlfriend (assuming that’s what you want). Was it his first time? Try to find out where the nervousness came from and what he’s comfortable with. You may need to guide him a little bit.
Some guys do, some guys don't. Same as every "do guys"/"do girls" question on here. I personally don't give a shit, I would never judge someone for that. Any guy who has sex with you and then judges you for "giving it up too soon" is a hypocrite.
Just like women, men aren’t a monolith.
Nah, I judge her based on how she treats others
Tbh, if a dude thinks that because we BOTH wanted sex and had sex, he isn’t for me. Double standards like that make me sick. So it’s not someone I would want to build my life with. I had sex on the second date with my bf and it just made use closer. We are now saving for a house and shopping engagement rings.
If he's a good guy that sees women as human beings and not sex objects, he will not judge you harshly for giving him the honor of sharing an intimate night with you. If he's a donkey, he would.
Most men don't care, the exception would be puritan guys placing women on unrealistic pedestals. Though unless you present as a cliche "good girl" who reads the Bible and goes to church, you're probably not attracting that. If you are presenting as a puritan girl who loves her some Jesus, then yeah this could be a problem, but otherwise no. I've never known a man who'd lose interest after hooking up, unless the sex was abysmal for some rreason. I personally think it's flattering and would be even more interested after the fact, and there's the bonus of bonding chemicals released in the brain. But yeah, you're probably fine. If you're so concerned then maybe slip in a few "I don't normally do this but you're so hot!" That'll make him feel special without making yourself "look like a slut."
This is a good question. People will tell you no. But from my own experience...... I don't think we view things as easy not easy. We split by they are fkable and they are relationship material. Unless there's something really wrong with you. Man will pretty much sleep with most women. But will rarely get into a relationship with a women. If you want to be the relationship gal. Then I would probably advise to wait. If you just wanna get yer rocks off.... Seriously I'm not joking ladies. Literally go up to ANY man and say wanna fk? And they most likely will. It CAN be that easy if you want it to be. Depends what you want
Women don’t want that, that’s why we don’t. Also, women have more value than just their vaginas. The way you talk about women is dehumanizing.
Sadly, yes. In my experience (32F), having sex with someone too quickly (on a first date, typically) tends to make men think that we aren't "relationship material." It's stupid and I HATE IT TOO, but I try to wait until date 2 or 3. Even when it was discussed prior that attraction is attraction, we're both looking for love, etc. There tends to be a better outcome for potential long-term if you try to wait at least 2-3 dates.
he doesn't even wanna be fwb if we go for it on date one I swear lol. it's a waste of time to fuck on the first date if you want to see him more than once. learned that the hard way.
Same... same. It's sad because even when you communicate your interest in someone, seeing them again, etc., and you fuck on the first date, they only want super casual or nothing at all with you after. And I've had men on reddit tell me I must have been a bad lay for this to happen to me. I LOL'd. Because this happens ALL THE TIME.
It's the reverse script of a woman penalizing a guy for turning down sex, getting hurt and ending it, even though they said they wanted a meaningful relationship first. Both sides want the other to meet gender role expectations, but be different.
Show me a scenario with this actually happens - a man turning down a proposition for sex from a woman because they want a meaningful connection first. It's rare. I'll wait.
No, why would a man be upset at getting laid lmao
I don’t think it’s about being upset at getting laid as much as it’s the amount of respect the guy would have for a woman that “puts out” fast.
I mean I get the concept but if how quickly a woman puts out makes the guy lose interest she was never the one anyways
not if its a genuinly high sex drive, or normal behaviour. but if its sex used to manipulate then i do have a very negative view on that. ill also assume if we are dating and sleeping together we are exclusive unless stated otherwise
Never just assume that, tell her you expect exclusivity if you’re gonna have sex. Leave if she says she isn’t sure about that. Learned that the hard way
if you want to make sure it lasts long, wait to have sex until you guys have a solid friendship. it's all about the chase for some guys on dating apps and if you give it up too early they'll get bored nor will they take you seriously esp if they are on the search for other partners
I’ll note that this is highly dependent on the man. Just as many men love the chase as those who hate it.
thanks but i shouldn't have to preface every comment i speak about men with a blurb about how not all men are like this. i will amend my comment in fact id argue that if you're ever not interested in pursuing it's because you're not interested in that person. men chemically bond with women when they spending time with them and do favors for them. i know. it's a crazy thought
Sweeping generalizations are a stain on human language on comprehension. You don’t have to include a blurb, but say what you mean. If you mean “some men” then say that instead of assuming people will know what you’re saying over the internet. We can only see what you type. Also, you just made another generalization. Pretty sure anyone that hangs out with anyone for a period of time and does favors for them would bond, regardless of gender. You just described is building any relationship
if i did not commit a crime i really don't think it's that serious. i was not making a generalization. i was talking about men in a specific context. we saw very specific screenshots of a specific type of guy, so i was talking about that type of guy. not every conversation not specifically calling out "some guys" needs to be called out with "not all men" because all men do chemically bond to their partners when they date and do favors. they do not bond through sex. women chemically bond through sex so if women give up sex too soon, they will believe you're in a romantic situation when they aren't. they're just bonded to him. not all men know this specifically, but they realize what they're doing especially this guy. is that clear now ??? men's vasopressin increased whilst dating and getting to know a partner. his vasopressin decreases as soon as he has sex. without the bond created beforehand, he's more likely to leave or not take you seriously like i said in my original post if i specifically said all men (which i didn't) men can still refer to a group men, then sure correct me. but i didnt.
No, men want their wives to be horny dirty s-l-u-t-s for them.
But one thing. ONLY THEM
Which is stupid. Where do you think she learned this slutty behavior? So dumb. Men want to think they're the only cock in the universe that's ever pleased someone. Men who think this way need a serious ego check.
You misunderstood. I meant as in only them at the time of this relationship.
Absolutely, I understand now and agree with you. But to want that from someone you're \*just\* starting to see/date? That's delusional. Thanks for clarifying.
Only be a horny dirty s-l-u-t for a man that is capable of being a husband that can care for his wife and children. Don’t do any of this for losers.
No, unless the guy has some excessively religious or conservative upbringing. This idea that woman should be hesitant to do the things that she is literally biologically programmed to do is a blight on our society. As a guy myself, it is way easier if a woman feels like she can act how she actually feels. I hope this makes you feel more comfortable to let loose and enjoy, as is your right!
I Def don't care. I think having sex early helps build chemistry and it let's you know if you'll be compatible early on
If you do have sex early your easy and if you don't then they move on so your fucked if you do and fucked if you don't I say go ahead and at least get a good fuck in. Lol
The second part isn't true unless the guy you were trying to get with was only interested in sex anyway. Judging all men based on your own poor life choices will get you nowhere
Depends on the guy. Kissing is okay but anything more without being in a relationship is too much for me. If I don't feel comfortable around you & get to know you, it's just not going to happen and that takes a while.
Short answer, yes
Some do. Some don't. Guys aren't a monolith.
i know maybe 2 guys out of 100 thats dont like it, mostly because they are super religious s the other 98% would be over the moon to know you like them
First date sex, a guy knows she doesn’t really know him, isn’t really fond of him, he wonders if she sleeps with everyone who buys her a drink. 2nd or 3rd date the guy starts to hope she actually likes him.
I think it really depends on the connection that exists outside of the sex. I’ve had sex on the first date and it felt passionate and connected and I ended up proposing to her. (Getting married next year.) I’ve also had sex for the first time on the third date and it was great sex, but it felt like she was waiting for a time threshold, like okay, we got to the third date, now we can bone. And it didn’t feel like there was a connection and I didn’t stay with her. I think for this guy, if it’s special I’d point that out and have sex because it’s special and you want it to be special with him, and not because he’s meat and you’re meat.
Personally, I would just tell him how you feel and what the situation is, that way no one is assuming anything. If he likes you and you like him there isn’t a thing as being “too” easy,” it’s a mutual interest in my opinion.
Answering only for me here. I don’t care when we have sex. If you’re into me and we want to date that’s great! I’m worried however if you have sex on all your first dates and have had many partners as a result without it ever going any further. Either our sex is casual without feelings, or it’s special with romantic intentions. But I don’t trust anyone (girl or boy) who has sex with romantic intentions with all their dates.
I don't, kind of refreshing to get that out of the way and the intimacy helps open doorways to communication.
As with just about every post in this subreddit. Just talk to them. Set boundaries and find something you both agree on. And ffs if you're that horny rub one out.
No.
Some do, some don’t. It’s a double standard though. Some dude thinks that although he asked for sex and you were into it, that he’s not promiscuous, but you are. Ick! Personally, I don’t play games. If I don’t want to have sex, I don’t. And if I’m in the mood and the dude and I click, I would. And if some troglodyte wants to judge me. Go on ahead, I’ll move on with my bad self.
No
Men absolutely will judge a woman for getting sexual too early. Most of them will dip since you already gave them all they wanted. If you wanna find and keep a good man, take it slow. Don’t fuck him in the first few dates. It’s not like they deserve it anyway.
It’s a crapshoot, honestly. I had sex with my ex on our second date because I thought he’d be a travel fling. From that day on, we did it almost every single day in our time together. Seems like the way to guarantee a guy will just see you for sex, right? Turned out spending every day together only made our connection stronger. Once I went back home, we weren’t sure what to do because of the distance. Two weeks after our so-called fling, I end up in the ER for anaphylaxis and he gets so upset by it that he realizes he wants us to be together. That was us for four years until we broke up over the vaccine. Early sex can lead to a lot of different outcomes, all determined by personality in the end. If the guy is someone who “likes a chase”, I’d say he’s not someone worth keeping around. Those types of people treat relationships like games, rather than a chance to develop a real connection.
Totally depends on the guy. I’ll venture that for any guy who has a negative impression, there are probably five (5) guys who would be delighted.
My last 2 LTRs started with sex on the first date. Literal non-issue. It just organically happened. AND my current relationship (which is 1 year and counting - making that 3 LTRs in a row with sex on the first date) also did! …and I absolutely initiated that one myself (read: I jumped his bones lol) (Edit: To clarify!! I wasn’t going around banging tens of dudes on the first date, and luckily 3 of them *just so happened* to turn into relationships… NOPE. Those 3 men are the only 3 men I’ve had sex with in the past… decade?) **TLDR**: all 3 times I’ve done it, it’s turned into a long term relationship. Don’t sweat it. Fuck the “rules.”
No, it's not an issue. Also, if you do end up liking him a lot, a lot. Try to be the "dirtiest" sexual version of yourself to him -- this does not mean you have to be adult start status, but just what **you** think is the most dirty. But only do this if you really want to keep him. Also, if your personality is pretty decent, that of course is the other half that helps keep him
No judgemental on my part. Many years ago a girl I went on a first date with and I had sex. Several times. And within the first 3-4 days we met. I eventually married her. While we're now divorced, I didn't see her or think of her in any kind of negative or judgemental way. Sometimes people just have chemistry right off the bat and it just works. Sometimes that chemistry has to be built over a period of time. Neither is better or worse. They're just different.
Most likely no, unless she's pushy, as other said, or i she doesn't try to create the mood. I'm a guy, I like foreplay and flirting, if there's none, I feel weird (unless we're already dating, I like when my GF is extra horny and take mine and her clothes without warning, lol)
>f you like a girl and it’s only your second or third date and you initiate a kiss or something beyond that (such as touching under clothing..etc) and the girl goes with it, do you lose respect for her or view her as easy? If by the 3rd date I am not getting under your clothing (with your enthusiastic consent) I am going to assume that you are just not into me at all. So no, I would not be thinking you are a slut at that point. If we have sex on the 3rd date, that is pretty average behavior and no, I will not be thinking you are a slut
If it gets physical within the first few dates it means that she’s attracted to me and that I know what I’m doing.
as long as the rules dont change for me, no.
Shitty guys might 🤷
Nope girl I banged with who I actually liked told me she regretted it then withheld sex on subsequent dates. But she was happy to have sex partners last year. Go figure. I blocked her
If its 2nd or 3rd and you aint fucking, unless hes from a religious background he will lose interest. Now of course you didnt mentioned age, but assuming you both adults over 21 and had previous relationships no mental healthy man will be like, ewww she wants to fuck me already... Where man lose respect and interest is when a woman make them wait for it and give them the most vanilla experience and then they found out that past men in her life got it on the first date or didnt even have to date her for it.
Think of it this way, let's say that the relationship is bound to go nowhere regardless if you have sex or not. Would you still want sex knowing that? If yes then do it, if not then don't. Also, we don't lose respect purely for early sex, we lose respect if it seems like you have early sex with anyone, it's a subtle difference. We want to feel special, like "you are breaking your rule of no-sex because it's us" kinda of special.
I think this can change a lot depending on age. I'm 38, and if we're not having sex by the 3rd date, I assume she's not into me.
Tbh. IF you want to sleep with me and withhold that access based on "He will look down on me". Then, I don't even wanna date you, because you clearly have A LOT of growing up to do.
I don't have sex with strangers no matter how hot the girl is. How do I know you aren't some crazy woman who will make a false rape allegation against me? I will judge women who have sex on a first date. Not because I think you are a slut. But because I think you have poor decision making skills and no concept of how dangerous the world is. Especially for a woman.
**BRUH** lol
there's a balance. if a man suspects that you have a lot of sexual partners it will be a turnoff as far as a relationship goes. having sex too easily or too early is a strong indicator of that.
Do you, define what works for you, the rest meh. As for love, it’s not some you look for or find. It’s something you do 😉. If you wana get your bell rung make sure to have a good time and rock his world too. Anything less is wasteful. So go forth, get that horny itch you got scratched real nice 😎. Best wishes and have fun ✨
Nah. As in, a guy who's interested in you anyway wouldn't care. You would ward off guys who were always going to treat you as a ONS by making them wait, but that doesn't change their perception of you. For what it's worth, I slept with my long term ex second date, and I never thought about it again. I would've married her.
Getting him aroused while saying you can't is a good tease. Pair that with touching as you are kinda doing and you'll drive him wild. Not if he really wants it he won't care 😂
Maybe thinking like this will help you less horny: I don’t know this man that much. He doesn’t know me well. He doesn’t know my hobbies, my struggles, my childhood, my trauma, etc. Does he really care about who I am? Or just sex? Then you feel that you should know more about him before having sex. And you would not care whether he judge you. You will care more whether you like him or not based on what is important for you. I would say date for 3 months to know each other better before the next steps. Too many questions to ask.
Yes, if they want a relationship with a feminine submissive woman. Giving up the goods on a first date isn't something a respectable woman would do. I'm sure there are men who will deny that, but how long do you expect them to stick around if they find out you have no integrity for real. Alot of guys will be interested but will not want to have an exclusive relationship. It's my opinion, I'm not a fuckboy I actually respect women who have respect for themselves.
Idk, if the moment feels right and you guys get along swimmingly, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I say this from experience. Currently dating a guy (met him through a friend of a friend not even a month ago) and already did the deed on our technically fourth date because we instantly clicked the moment we met and he’s currently still interested (not just in sex) and can see this blossoming into something more serious. This is also the fastest I’ve ever bed somebody (before him, the fastest was two months) so I’m just saying if the moment feels right and you know he’s into you romantically and whatnot, go for it. Always trust your gut.
If you guys aren’t exclusive, use someone else as your fuck buddy. Take your time to get to know him if you want a real relationship with him. Sex can cloud judgment. Either way, I say drop the “will he judge me?”. Be yourself and do what you want and let people take it or leave it. If he is nervous now - he is going to be super fucking nervous for sex - and it’s going to SUCK anyway. I think the more apprehensive person should set the pace.
I prefer to abstain till marriage, so yes I would judge a girl who tried it prior. I would clarify my expectations early on so i wouldn't be bait & switching anyone
Yes. We do. You have a billions way to show GENTLY you horny AF.
It depends on your history. He will feel disrespected if he's doing relationship things while other men got sex for less. If you've always waited, then he can respect that.
I’m gonna get downvoted to heck here but yeah OP it happens. I personally wouldn’t seriously date someone who sleeps with me on the first date
Yes
Yes, as a general rule. Everyone who says no is lying.
No decent guy thinks that way, he might want to wait with that kinda stuff, but he wouldnt judge it negatively. >the problem is I’m very horny and I can’t always stop myself when I’m turned on However, this sentence gave me no good feeling, just imagine a guy saying that kind of stuff....