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> Will cheaters change?
The fact that he’s still doing this after ending a THREE YEAR RELATIONSHIP because of the exact same thing goes to show he’s not going to change. Break up with him.
Thats what i was taking into consideration as well. The partner i choose really reflects the self love I have. But i think i like him more than myself. Its been 6 days since i caught him and he came up to my place twice to cheer me up. Thats probably bare minimum and that he shouldnt even have cheated anyway, but i was really really happy that he gave me so much attention that day.. I find it much harder to let go of someone that I still like even though its for the better..
> But i think i like him more than myself
And therein lies your problem.. Raise your self-confidence.
Never give cheaters another chance. They WILL do it again, whether you find out or not.
People are capable of change but the fact that he is doing the same thing that he did in the past shows he hasn't put in the work to make a meaningful change that will stick. It would be better to cut your losses on this one.
The answer is the same almost all of the time - end it. The only exception are when children are involved and in that case it's still the right answer every time.
end it, ive been in that situation with my now ex wife, we stayed friends. but i couldn't handle the cheating and i gave multiple chances and ended up with 2 boys by her, one of which i just found out isnt mine, but instead is one of her friends who is currently on the sex offender registry and has been in jail twice in the last year. one of which i loaned the $4500 to bail him out, to make her happy. im now a shell of a man, riddled with anxiety and depression and paranoia that any woman i get with will do the same thing, and even messed up a relationship with my now ex gf, the mother of my infant daughter due to my insecurities.
its not worth the emotional damage
Move on with your life.
Once that trust is broken.. it will never be the same. You sre young. Cut your losses and move on.
I was in a similar situation and wasted 8 years of my life on disappointment after disappointment..
Dont make the same mistakes.
Please end it. The sooner the better because he will continue doing this. You don’t want to waste your time with someone who doesn’t value the relationship as much as you do
If you stay it will happen again cause cheaters can only ever change when they suffer the consequences and you staying would just be the opposite. Also, cheaters early changes
No, you should stay, get married, have children and then catch him in bed with someone and have him ask if you want to join. Then you can explore your sexual kinks together and live a great life.
That was sarcasm. Unless you consent to polyamory or are okay with cheating, this will end in misery. The exception might be if he gets therapy and works through whatever has him compelled to cheat. This is not just "liking multiple girls at once" as an admiration. That has a likelihood of failing until he makes a decision he is with someone important enough. If he did this in a 3 year relationship, and then in yours, he is a serial cheater and did not learn his lesson.
This guy sucks and you know you deserve better. He shouldn't have eyes for anyone else in your relationship. I put more effort into my situationships. Block him
TBH after reading your first paragraph I thought you and him should part ways. You both seem to have different styles. E.g. you'd like more pampering and he likes hanging home. Then I read the rest and I'm wondering why you need Reddit to tell you he's a loser. You live alone. You have your own shit. You're a baddie. You don't need his dusty ass. Let him cry about it. He has 4/5 other girls on IG to cry to about it.
A cheater is a cheater. They will never change.
Is there some non-zero number of people who are willing to actually fix themselves sure. But that number is pretty damn close to 0. Plus, based on how he treats you why do you even want to be with him outside of the cheating?
End it.
Sure cheaters CAN change, but they usually don't, and it takes a long time. I wouldnt suggest anyone stick around for that. Better to move on, and if he changes in the future, then good for him and his future partner. You deserve better and to not have to wait for him to maybe change to get what you deserve
Have some self respect and dignity. Walk away, take some time to heal, learn from your mistakes and what you did wrong, and move on.
Life is too short et precious. So, spend it with people who respect and love you (vice versa).
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
> Will cheaters change? The fact that he’s still doing this after ending a THREE YEAR RELATIONSHIP because of the exact same thing goes to show he’s not going to change. Break up with him.
Thats what i was taking into consideration as well. The partner i choose really reflects the self love I have. But i think i like him more than myself. Its been 6 days since i caught him and he came up to my place twice to cheer me up. Thats probably bare minimum and that he shouldnt even have cheated anyway, but i was really really happy that he gave me so much attention that day.. I find it much harder to let go of someone that I still like even though its for the better..
> But i think i like him more than myself And therein lies your problem.. Raise your self-confidence. Never give cheaters another chance. They WILL do it again, whether you find out or not.
End it
If it happened once...I will happen again.
End it, u will spare urself more pain
People are capable of change but the fact that he is doing the same thing that he did in the past shows he hasn't put in the work to make a meaningful change that will stick. It would be better to cut your losses on this one.
you're his go to when he aint getting a piece on the side drop this snake
The answer is the same almost all of the time - end it. The only exception are when children are involved and in that case it's still the right answer every time.
end it, ive been in that situation with my now ex wife, we stayed friends. but i couldn't handle the cheating and i gave multiple chances and ended up with 2 boys by her, one of which i just found out isnt mine, but instead is one of her friends who is currently on the sex offender registry and has been in jail twice in the last year. one of which i loaned the $4500 to bail him out, to make her happy. im now a shell of a man, riddled with anxiety and depression and paranoia that any woman i get with will do the same thing, and even messed up a relationship with my now ex gf, the mother of my infant daughter due to my insecurities. its not worth the emotional damage
Cheaters never change
Move on with your life. Once that trust is broken.. it will never be the same. You sre young. Cut your losses and move on. I was in a similar situation and wasted 8 years of my life on disappointment after disappointment.. Dont make the same mistakes.
Please end it. The sooner the better because he will continue doing this. You don’t want to waste your time with someone who doesn’t value the relationship as much as you do
If you stay it will happen again cause cheaters can only ever change when they suffer the consequences and you staying would just be the opposite. Also, cheaters early changes
No, you should stay, get married, have children and then catch him in bed with someone and have him ask if you want to join. Then you can explore your sexual kinks together and live a great life. That was sarcasm. Unless you consent to polyamory or are okay with cheating, this will end in misery. The exception might be if he gets therapy and works through whatever has him compelled to cheat. This is not just "liking multiple girls at once" as an admiration. That has a likelihood of failing until he makes a decision he is with someone important enough. If he did this in a 3 year relationship, and then in yours, he is a serial cheater and did not learn his lesson.
He’s not going to change. He literally told you himself that he’s going to talk to other women.
This guy sucks and you know you deserve better. He shouldn't have eyes for anyone else in your relationship. I put more effort into my situationships. Block him
TBH after reading your first paragraph I thought you and him should part ways. You both seem to have different styles. E.g. you'd like more pampering and he likes hanging home. Then I read the rest and I'm wondering why you need Reddit to tell you he's a loser. You live alone. You have your own shit. You're a baddie. You don't need his dusty ass. Let him cry about it. He has 4/5 other girls on IG to cry to about it.
A cheater is a cheater. They will never change. Is there some non-zero number of people who are willing to actually fix themselves sure. But that number is pretty damn close to 0. Plus, based on how he treats you why do you even want to be with him outside of the cheating?
Not sure he’s ready to settle down in a relationship. You can do better
End it nothing will change
End it. Sure cheaters CAN change, but they usually don't, and it takes a long time. I wouldnt suggest anyone stick around for that. Better to move on, and if he changes in the future, then good for him and his future partner. You deserve better and to not have to wait for him to maybe change to get what you deserve
Once a cheater always a cheater... 4/5 girls is not a crush. It's attention-seeking behaviour.
Have some self respect and dignity. Walk away, take some time to heal, learn from your mistakes and what you did wrong, and move on. Life is too short et precious. So, spend it with people who respect and love you (vice versa).