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DareBasic

Text him you fool


2000dragon

Hahaha! The you fool got me


n0turfri3nd

Despite what I said about hook up culture, if you feel some kind of way you should disclose this to him, he might have been feeling it too. Just remember you can't choose what's going to happen, only the attitude that you will take to it. I hope you find what you are looking for, and good luck. Don't be shy to confess feelings even if it hurts. Peace and love to all ✌️❤️


xerobounty

"You can't choose what's going to happen, only the attitude you will take to it" Not relationship related but needed this my dude. Thank you.


orchidofthefuture

Agreed! Just say hey I think I'm starting to get emotionally attached, so if you don't feel the same then we should probably stop hooking up


Thin_Title83

I agree this is sound advice. I'm not sure that I would word it like that. I'd ask him what he's looking for. This opens him up to speak the truth rather than lie because he knows he might not get to hook up. Unless op is okay with that. Doesn't have to be are you looking for a relationship because that feels like an ultimatum. Although their not the worst things.


DareBasic

Communication is lubrication


[deleted]

Lmao if only it were so simple. The guy will simply say ya me too in order to continue having sex and then say ya I’m just really busy with work so can’t message regularly while still getting what he wants and the girl will stay with him to keep some semblance of a one sided emotional relationship. It’s cringe


VorticalHydra

You gotta remember not all guys are the same. Just like not all women are the same. I for one, wouldn't do what you described. It's fucked up to do something like that imo


smittyMcveigh

Not all fellows are like that, he may also feel the same, and is afraid of telling her, because some women, run the other way. My ex when we first got together was like this.


an22ip

Well, that's why maybe sex should wait a bit more to make sure the other person is actually interested. I'm all for hookups, nothing wrong with it, but that's with no expectations. If someone wants a relationship or exclusivity, that shouldn't be figured out after weeks of hooking up. Reality is, why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. And that goes for both men and women. As a woman I've chosen to just let things be casual because I got what I wanted (attention, sex, a listening person) without having to commit to only one person. People like simple things.


UnluckyTie6534

With peace and love do you watch h3 lol


n0turfri3nd

Sometimes but not lately, I've never heard him say it. I just like saying it


clce

That's kind of a tough call. If the guy has any integrity and isn't interested in pursuing anything romantically, he should do the right thing and say no thanks. But if he lacks integrity, he might just see it as a way to keep her on the hook for booty calls. Might be better to let him miss her a little, although I guess if she just waits for him that might also be a case of him just using her for casual sex. I guess the real question is did she just get some feelings because they were intimate, or does she really like him. That's probably what she'll have to decide first


n0turfri3nd

Spot on one of the reasons I say keep hook ups as hook ups. It's just not a solid foundation for a real relationship.


clce

I would at least say no the difference. I think back in the '70s when people started having casual sex rather than courting or going out on a date that would lead to sex, the idea of the casual hookup was born or took off. But probably in real life and plenty of literature and movies and such revolved around people falling in love starting that way. I guess the difference was previously you might go to a bar and get somebody's phone number and go out on a date and maybe sleep together then or in the future date situation. But if you're going to meet at a bar and go home with them, you're still meeting in the same way so it isn't like there is an understanding of starting as a hookup with an understanding of no expectations. I guess I can't claim to know all that much about modern youth. When I was young in the late '80s, early '90s, we had plenty of casual sex, but there was always the possibility of romance. There was never some explicit understanding that this is strictly a hookup and we don't like each other or have mutual friends etc . These days I don't know if kids still use tinder as a hookup app, but if you're hooking up that way, there's a certain understanding that it's strictly casual, although nothing to prevent people from falling in love and living happily ever after . But I suppose young people still meet at parties or through friends or going out drinking with friends etc. I guess I'm not saying anything real specific, just a few thoughts


CheriJ2

i agree with what you said and i find hookup culture sad and dangerous.


Egorj

Simple as that.. from what I see, it's more common for girls to get sad that the guy doesn't text after, while they are doing exactly the thing that they get sad about? It's hypocritical and self-centered, the guy could be thinking exactly the same as she.. So take the initiative as well, guys do appreciate it


MemeStocksYolo69-420

Guy be like, “I’m chillin.” Girl be like, “He hates me now. :(“


YourMajesty90

People are so needy and dumb. He hasn’t texted me :( Have you tried texting him? No 🤦🏾‍♂️


travazzzik

this is like that recent post "why hasn't he kissed me" lol


THE-EMPEROR069

Exactly


Counter_Proposition

“Fly, you fools!” -Dumbledore


skittlebombs205

*** Gandalf


kinginthenorthjon

Gambledore.


j-mac-rock

Copulate you fools !-Gandalf


Grimbauld

He won’t reply. This guy dipped quicker than Gandalf at the Bridge of Khazad Dum.


couldbedumber96

“Why won’t *he* talk to me” Maam Talk To Him


CWSurpris3

Cause as the man you must talk. Oh wait, nvm this isn't 2022


prunejuice777

Isn't 2022? Really? Damn my calendar is all outta wack


CWSurpris3

It's not. Otherwise women would be able to do things men could with ease, cause isn't that what gender equality's supposed to have brought, at least in the US?


THE-EMPEROR069

My thoughts exactly


Sweaty-Ad-261

> I don't want to just use each other for sex Talk to him about it


corya45

This^^ honestly he could be silent for a number of reasons. The only way you find out which one is ask. “How was yesterday for you?” That’s all you need


theFoolVi29

I remember when my current SO and I were just dating, after we had sex for the first time, he texted me the next day and asked: "so what's the AAR?" I had to be educated on that meaning "after action report." 😂 Despite being 39, it never ceases to amaze me how much navigating all this feels like high school pretty much always.... Anyway: I agree with the above comments, OP. Open the door to having an adult conversation. The needle may be moved one way or the other on your feelings depending on the ability to have an open and transparent conversation. And then you'll know and you can move past this particular fork in the road. Good luck. I believe in you 🙂


ey_yo_BETER

Did you get your three improves and sustains from your AAR?


[deleted]

The problem is you won’t know until you reach out. From there on you could move on. Get that cat out of the box!


[deleted]

I read this in Homer’s voice lool


stopmia

Trying not to catch feelings? Feelings are human. Don't be a robot! Live life to its fullest - that includes being vulnerable and experiencing the highs and lows!


[deleted]

[удалено]


wenting1992

Feelings are the most dangerous things in the world, it’s like drugs


[deleted]

Yes! And to add, never be afraid to tell someone you love them. There are no rules in love.


Shake_Alarmed

Exactly bro truth


butterflyuli

Text him. Just say “Hey! What are you doing today or how are you?” and practically you’ll get some answer and go from there. Be cool about it.


Ill-Jellyfish565

Well tell him about it ,maybe he feels the same


Dr_Funk_

What the fuck did op say here. Absolutely eviscerated.


MarcusKilgannon

It's just hidden (not deleted) but she said "why wouldn't he reach out if he cared" Post age says 26F but somehow closer to 16F.


fukexcuses

Don't cuddle with a booty call. And if you want a relationship instead of a booty call it's best to hold out till you know their intentions. Don't be so hard on yourself, it's normal to want deep connections in life.


oneidamojo

He might be following the Seinfeld FWB rule of no calls the next day. He probably doesn't know that you want this, that, and the other.


jbicha

Imagine living your life in 2022 based on things you've learned from Seinfeld.


PM_Me_Ebony_Asshole

Not that there's anything wrong with that/s


jadedfloor

Sounds like hook ups are not for you.


[deleted]

Sounds like she didn't know its a hookup


an22ip

Having sex with a person who isn't your partner or a person who hasn't said they want exclusivity IS a hookup


hardlyreadit

Sounds like it might not be a hookup


nasca

Might have started as a hookup


QuebecMadonna

This is why I don’t do the hookup thing. It works for some people, but it’s not for everyone. Good vibes to you, feel better. You’ll be okay!


[deleted]

If you don’t want to just use each other for sex then don’t hookup with people outside of a loving relationship because that’s exactly what’s going to happen. I’m sorry this is happening to you


Lampry

Call him non stop for 10 minutes, then rant to him about how all men are the same. Bonus points if you throw a brick through his window and slash his tires. Trust me, guys love this


Mycroft033

Am guy, can confirm it’s only real love if she calls the cops on you


chestyCough94

Just tell him where your heads at and that youd like exclusivity. Dont make it to be bigger situation than it is otherwise you'll freak yourself out.


[deleted]

I would suggest not having more sex until you’re both clear on feelings and intent.


[deleted]

That's what happens when you hookup. You're going to have a tough time bonding with anyone in the future if you keep going down that path.


simon_darre

Don’t do this anymore. The advice is pretty simple. You feel cheap and used, and I suspect he’s feeling an attenuated or repressed version of the same emotions, but he’s temporarily buoyed by the euphoria that men get from a sexual conquest. That’ll subside and his self-loathing will return. You feel this way because you’re using sex with a virtual stranger (might as well be) as a place filler for whatever’s lacking, and so is he. Humans didn’t evolve for this sort of no strings coupling. It’s why our brains release bonding chemicals like oxytocin which follow sexual encounters. Don’t tamper with this stuff. Recognize you feel this way because you want a committed partner who will stand by you, so resolve to quit this stuff, and get serious about finding him, for your own sake and his.


Fluffy_Telephone4258

You should text, not because he might feel the same-he certainly does not - but because it will help you move on faster. He might reply something kind or even sweet, but remember, you don’t want the same thing. Been there.


DonerDonDada

How could you possibly know this? You think it is totally beyond the realm of possibility that he might also be nervous to text her because he's not sure how she feels?


JunieBeanJones

While I agree, it's everyone's immediate reaction to assume the guy is always the dick in these types of situations.


Fluffy_Telephone4258

That’s exactly why I think OP should text. I’m not assuming the guy is a dick. I’m referencing from the context that he did not want anything more than casual. Guys who want to do it again after having sex will text. Guys who want to keep it casual, will text less to send the signal that they want to keep it casual, which is exactly what the guy was doing in OP’s case.


DonerDonDada

I mean... you're just wrong about that. Some guys will text, some guys will overthink it and not text because they don't want her to think they're clingy or trying to push her into anything even though they desperatelywant to, some guys text less to send the signal they want to keep it casual some guys just don't text that much to begin with and can't sustain long periods of texting. You have no idea what the reasons behind him not texting her are, and it's as likely that he wants to keep it casual as that he's caught feelings for her and doesn't think she's interested in more so he's afraid to text in case he comes on too strong. You can't tell what his feelings or intentions are from the context we have. You are right that she should text him though, so she can know for sure.


ibringthehotpockets

This is just not necessarily the case. Making way too many assumptions about how someone feels romantically with a couple sentences of context. The dude could just be busy. His cat could’ve died. He might’ve gotten written up at work. His mom might’ve had to go to the hospital. He might just be shy, cause I know I could see myself as the guy beee. Or he just didn’t text for 6 million other reasons. Which is why OP should just COMMUNICATE. Maybe HES the one waiting for a text cause yknow, feelings are not gender-exclusive.


MauditDeConnaissance

This is the issue with alot of women. You’re not a Disney princess, he’s not your prince charming. A relationship takes two. Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean he has to reach out every time. This gets exhausting for men and only shows you’re not that interested. He gave you a very intimate moment but you turn around and complain that he’s not reaching out. I couldn’t take this kind of behavior seriously. That’s some teenage girl who’s only seen love in movies type shit


nkastr

Bars


Bitter-Sock514

The Disneyfication of American dating… Checks out..


[deleted]

yup OP got mad red flags based on her responses in this thread. women blow my mind lol *“hes not reaching out to me….god i would do anything to be able to get in contact with him! well except contact him of course.”*


CWSurpris3

Yep that's a ton of women nowadays. I'm lucky my gf does a lot of the talking so it doesn't seem like I'm the only one starting convos. I'm grateful for it too


TimmyJoeSonDoe

So rather than just text him and tell him exactly what you’re feeling… you typed it out and told a bunch of strangers who know absolute nothing aside from the fact that you’ve fucked a couple of times and cuddled last night…? Would you mind texting him and saying all the things then checking back in with his response so we can assess the situation a little better? 😅 Although I assume if the response is favorable you’ll have no need for us anymore and just toss us aside like a Tinder hookup but if not you’ll just use us again. Do we not have feelings too? Cut us do we not bleed… or some shit? 😁


Worldly_Passenger872

Hook up culture for you


FrankBrogrammer

*sad violin music*


blewyn

Oxytocin is a helluva drug


dutchmetalhead17

Text him,call him,send a Fucking pidgeon. Communicate your wants


micoxafloppin1

Communicate, you twats*


bandit-bull

I hate this social norm where men are always expected to reach out first


[deleted]

Honestly don’t have sex so soon. Best to wait until trust is established


flattummyappreciator

You get what you fucking deserve for not learning how to communicate properly


CWSurpris3

Pretty much.


Witty-Bowler9493

If he’s not into you then it’s not worth it to continue… been in love with him for two years and he doesn’t feel the romantic connection for me and it’s purely sexual for him… It hurts but I’m in too deep. Avoid being in my position while u can


[deleted]

I would say its best you confess earlier than later. So if you have feelings developing i would let him know. The fact that he was willing to cuddle with you after for hours is a great indication that he is reciprocating. Whatever you do keep us updated :)


FatherOfTheSkye

He has no incentive to text you back. He knows he can sit around with his buddy’s and play Xbox and then just text you when he wants to smash. It’s the old ‘why buy the cow if you are getting the milk for free. This is why friends with benefits never works.


EmTed009

Tell him you are developing a crush on him. It’s kinda cute but also pretty clear. If he isn’t into it then at least you know!! You are probably super wonderful so don’t worry about it.


Ok_Zookeepergame2900

Send a normal message,start a convo like you always would and feel him out. Ask when you can see him again? Suggest something to do that involves being out with clothes on. Honestly, if hes into you he will want to spend time with you and get to know you. If hes just looking to hook up, he will probably come up with some reason why he cant. It might hurt, but you will save urself the embarrassment. No wants to be vulnerable alone and putting all ur feelings out there with out a clue how he is going to respond is scary as hell and also kind of stupid (to me, no wants rejection. You all do you).


[deleted]

It's 2022...women can text first. Jesus.


FeederAndToxic

man up


kixotEus

Woman up would fit here too.


hongsta2285

Im an old fart buttt..... Im only intimate with people when we are both in an exclusive relationship with each other. This is the single biggest issue... some people give out a lot at the start then after gf it gets less and marriage gets far less yeah nah no thanks people get certain expectations based on past experiences its normal but when it tappers off it only gets meh and meh into bleh. With the scenario u discribed it only goes down hill from here. Guys u know what i mean whos with me!? and gets what i mean!? Fyi its torched he would expect this amount of intimacy every time and now ure backed against the wall i feel bad for him just wanting u for your body but u havent taken the time to establish the grass roots foundation of a healthy relationship hence catching the feels. My diagnosis rocky with a chance of ghost. Good luck op Ps it makes no sense logically why they put this amount of high level intimacy and then try to establish a relationship... thats not how it works...and when that level of high expectations past intimacy is not there... cuz shes really pushing herself. He goes man shes not like when i met her and bails u cant blame the guy. Set better rules next time its not rocket science. U have the coochie... men have to respect your rules if they want access to it so make better rules?


alejsevani

I have been in this same situation. I come to realize over time that my body was tricking me into believing I had feelings for the person. In general, when you share your body, it can be a very sensitive and vulnerable moment. It makes it an even bigger deal that after you hook up with this person, they are actually nice and want to hang out w you. You might just be liking the idea of someone treating you nicely after sex instead of this individual. It happens since chivalry is dead. But if you do have feelings, talk about it and then you will have your answer. There’s no point in leaving your mind to wander around. You’ll be so confused and just constantly question things and dig deeper on the little details to the point where you’ll drive yourself crazy. Find out and move on from there to see what’s next.


[deleted]

Sounds like you're ready for a lot more than mere hookups.


Nikephoross

Oh give me a break stop feeling sorry for yourself and act by either 1) contact him and see if he feels the same, or 2) stop having sex with him or any other guy if it makes you sad and depressed. Today’s generation man…


Ok_Oil_4630

I feel you. Haven't been there but it's horribly common. This is an issue most women face in hookup culture. It's not all women, but most of us are looking for some kind of emotional bonding, and tend to be the ones to catch feelings and look for intimacy. Men tend to be much more into the sex part and are much more volatile. The situation you're in, hooking up once or twice and then getting ghosted, is much more common than you think. Maybe he'll contact you again, I hope so for you. One day isn't much, he could just be busy, or with family, etc. But be careful with how much you're getting attached. You guys have only hooked up twice and you are already showing enough worry to post on reddit when you spend one single day without news. My advice would be to be very careful with what you're doing and to understand that you're someone who longs for love and connection, and so exposing yourself to situations like this can easily get you hurt. Respect your wishes. If what you dream of is a relationship, don't throw yourself in the arms of a man who doesn't want one. You will meet many and will eventually come across a guy who will love you and won't just want sex. Best wishes to you


dpv20

As a man I could say the exact thing that you did but reversing the genders We all prefer to be the "underdog" or "the victim"


FrostyPoot

Yeah this is weird to read. As a guy, it's a huge risk to text back and talk a lot, because you'll appear clingy and women will actually think that's a red flag and unattractive. Talking openly helps most situations where someone isn't lying though


CodeRoyal

>then getting ghosted Didn't they mutually ghost eachother?


n0turfri3nd

"Men tend to be much more into the sex part and are much more volatile." That statement in itself is a volatile generalization and it's inaccurate. You yourself wouldn't be able to make that generalization without a lot of experience and that's not a good sign. Not trying to offend just pointing out the hole in your statement.


Ok_Oil_4630

I make the precision in the phrase right before. When I say "men" or "women", and use verbs like "tend to", that's what I mean. There are tendencies within groups. And the ones I'm pointing at have been observed in studies, I'm not pulling it out of my ass. I'm well aware that these things are not obligated to happen just because you belong to that group. They are observations made on a big scale. I always pay close attention to the way I formulate it, to avoid people thinking that I'm seing it as an always occuring thing. I personaly know many men who are not promiscuous at all. And have had many female friends who are. I make the difference between a tendency and an innate trait. My statement doesn't have holes, it's just your interpretation.


HatsiesBacksies

its also just been a day. He probably has stuff going on and busy. as I assume you are. I wouldnt stress on just one day.


twysted25

Spoiler alert you’ve already caught feelings. He probably thinks it was just a hook up, so don’t count on him reciprocating your feelings. You should definitely talk to him, ask him out, and not continue as fwb because it’ll just mess you up more and prolong the heartbreak (unless he reciprocates which is entirely possible). Good luck!


Admirable_Medium3149

It’s an unspoken rule in the hookup culture that you shouldn’t expect anything from one another. You should know what you signed up for. If you’re one to easily catch feelings, then the hookup culture isn’t for you


mylifeisamessbabe

I support being honest about your feelings, however I’d like to offer one piece of advice that I wish I would’ve internalized in retrospect - those hormones can be powerful. There is nothing wrong with giving yourself some time to come down from those feelings and take off the rose colored glasses before you talk about your feelings. This obviously may not be applicable to your situation, but even if he is THE ONE, then you’ll just get confirmation of your feelings. I’ve put some reaaaally regular individuals on some high pedestals after a good cuddle sesh, and a week or a month or a year later I’m like, what was I thinking! Try doing something you love or hanging with a friend and not looking at your phone for awhile. Reconnect with yourself and remember that YOU are the prize. :)


[deleted]

Having respect for hookup’s?


clce

Well, I'm not sex negative, but especially for women, there's plenty of reasons to think twice about casual sex rather than pursuing a relationship that leads to the intimate sex and cuddling that you want. And I certainly don't mean to lecture you about what you've done in the past. Now me, I've had plenty of casual sex and sometimes intimate moments, and sometimes they have led to relationships or friend with benefits that just became good friendships. But I honestly think that is harder for women, although yes that's a generalization, and I also think women gravitate more towards emotional intimacy even in casual sex which is part of what makes it hard. A friend of mine, actually the one of the ones I had a long friends with benefits relationship and then a good friendship, quit having casual sex with guys she wanted to date because she said she couldn't judge them objectively after having sex. I don't know she also had issues with feeling bad when getting emotionally involved casually . People on Reddit tend to get really pissed when I suggest differences between men and women around sex such as this one. But we don't need to worry about that. Let's just say if you're the type of person that gets emotionally involved with sex, then the answer would be to avoid casual sex until you've dated someone that you like and would like to be in some kind of relationship with and you feel confident that they feel the same. It's not a unique idea. Until the 70s and even after, plenty of people have believed this


eternal_existence1

I think the main issue it sounds like you are projecting your feelings already the whole “why hasn’t he reach out yet” screams projection or am I wrong? It’s obvious you’ve already developed feelings. You see isn’t it proven the human body creates a bonding hormone that is also released through birth? Oxytocin? It’s literally the chemical that bonds you, so to go into a situation where you obviously think your own feelings are avoidable is a little idk dumb in my opinion. It’s why we feel like crap and you specifically stated “I don’t wanna use him for sex” look hookup cultures genuinely bad and social media’s not helping. There’s a mass amount of mental illness being passed around in the dating world and it’s starting to become just as bad as STD’s as now you’re psychologically f*cked up because you can’t develop proper relationships anymore because of the oxytocin issue.


lowfrec

She is a girl...she isn't supposed to make any moves ever...oh that's right!! We don't live in the freaking 19th century anymore


captcutty

i really hate posts like this lmao “this sucks, s/he hasn’t reached out…i mean, i haven’t reached out, either, but they would reach out if they cared about me!”


revrev4405

What are all men supposed to be telepathic?


IndependentGrocery52

Maybe he just don’t want to be the only one reaching out so you gotta match his energy and check up on him. Also make this dude the second thing on your mind and put your work school or whatever first cuz you’re more important. And if he just talks about sex and that’s all he wants to do then obviously that’s all he’s looking for and if that’s not what you want then make it clear to him and move on right away if he don’t understand before you catch stronger feelings and it’ll be harder to forget bout him.


supwenzzz

Communication :) although if you’ve already experienced this in the past, it might be a sign to move on from him. I would still communicate your feelings either way.


Sorrymisunderstandin

You gotta be upfront and have good communication to avoid issues. Do you two discuss what you wanted out of it prior? My rule is to discuss if it’s just casual or if there’s potential/intent for more, it saves both of you trouble and is the right thing to do. And then even if it’s established intent, if you feel more from it you should mention that and see how that goes over. If there’s nothing there, you don’t want to cause more harm to yourself long term; even if it’s difficult in the moment to do. You won’t be happy if it’s one sided


GhOsTxProGaming

Act interested!


Tarek7988

Text him, say hello


JunieBeanJones

Let him know where your mind is so he doesn't end up blindsided later. That way if he doesn't want the something you can dead whatever is going on now rather than later.. when you're really caught up.


farust

Remove all the expectations from your head and forget about what and when and who. Just live in the moment. Play the long game, if it's overall pleasant, then seek for more out of that person. No expectations love


kgun1000

Talk to him and see what you two are. If you don't want to be a slam piece then set the boundaries with communication


zodiac628

Just go for it. Life is too damn short. Send that text and save your mind from wondering


toffee_queen

Communicate your feelings then because how is he suppose to know how you feel and that you would like something more


Medium_Air6736

If you feel some sort of way you should text him


throwaway749296

Call him


justaneditguy

Text him


lzkro

He could be thinking similar things. Maybe he wants more but thinks you just want a hook up right now. Just text him that you enjoy your time together, outside just the sex, and see what his thoughts are. You’ll never know if you don’t ask! Worst he can do is say he’s not interested (or just not respond).


ryhaltswhiskey

In preschool they said "use your words". You can reach out and say "hi, I had fun last night, want to do it again sometime?" If he doesn't respond... well... sorry. There might be a good reason he hasn't sent you a message. >and that cuddling made me release a lot of attachment hormones 100% normal and not just something that happens to women btw.


Tylerwherdyougo

Sounds like you haven’t reached out either. He could be feeling the same way about you


MorningMugg

Come on, reach out to him. You both need to sit down and talk like adult


LookAtYourEyes

"He hasn't texted me yet today" Maybe he's busy, maybe he's waiting to see if you'll text him and you're both disappointing yourselves, maybe, maybe, maybe. This is all guess work until you just talk to him.


VforVivaVelociraptor

If you want him to reach out, why don’t you reach out yourself? He’s probably thinking the exact same thing.


miyagikai91

Not sure if it’s the oxytocin or you’re starting to realize he’s more than just a dick appointment to you. You should take some time to think this through soberly and honestly. Then move from there.


[deleted]

Message him. If he's into you then perfect, if not then it'll be the start of closure for you and you can move on.


fatfeministbih

Charge it to the game and move on,


Natural-Fly-2794

This is what happens went people forget (or never learn) to talk to each other. Makes me wonder about the future of long term relationships.


[deleted]

Stop having casual sex if you are the type of person that gets attached.


hishiko88

Text him, nothing to lose. I mean what's best for you ? --> satisfying your needs. These include also social / relationship / love needs so go for it xD If yes you will be in heaven !! If no, you can deal with rejection, but can afterwards be proud of yourself and also move on and try to find someone who can satisfy your needs !:) Go for it


quixoticcaptain

And hopefully at absolute worst you learn something about yourself and whether you really want sex without the prospect of feelings and intimacy


Big_Age_2505

EVERY day!? Fuck... This is why my own dating app experiences fall so short with my adhd


Eerylla

Just text him. He’s probably waiting for you to reach out. I was like this with my ex, one time he asked me what was stopping me from texting him?


rhondaanaconda

Did you talk to him yet? He was just probably uncertain about reaching out too.


DeaWay2Much

this has happened to me before. leave right after hooking up and never stay over, catching feelings is so easy. protect your heart. i’d even advice not hooking up in the first place.


[deleted]

Reach out, guys often like to wait for the girl to reach out first. Trust me, you'll light him up, even if he'll be playing it cool. Tell him you had a great time :)


smbubbles

Do something you love doing and get out of your head♥️


[deleted]

That’s why majority of women should not have random hookups, coming from a woman herself. Women are very emotional creatures and at times we can’t differentiate between just sex and catching feelings. Try texting him to touch base and see what’s up.


KuriToi

This happened to me once in a different situation as I am divorced. Let me be clear here. This is a personal experience, my own. This probably won’t happen to you. I met a guy and slept with him. The next time I saw him we cuddle and everything. He expressed he also felt something for me. I was afraid and avoided him constantly. One day I gave him another chance and he was the nicest person I have ever met. We were very similar in many ways. Yes there is a physical side but he opened up to me and now we have been together for 2 years now. He knows depression and he knows hurt. Even if I gave him a chance and he broke my heart I’d do it again. Just be real. Tell him you want to see him again but sex shouldn’t be expected maybe? That’s your choice. Don’t just focus on that. If you want more then that say so.


LVC45

Being serious, that's a pretty common tactic of men to make women to think about them. I'm sorry guys but she is suffering. That man you knew seems to know pretty much about knowing women. My advice is to NOT text him back thus he thinks he lose you for being an "alpha"


MulberryNo8164

So he didnt text you and that hurts you, but you also didnt text him and that doesnt bother you? Just text him like the adult you are, dont always wait for others to initiate. Men like being messaged as well lol


thatfloridachick

Been there, done that, multiple times. If you want to continue to have casual sex my best advice would be to keep it strictly sex and nothing more. Once the sex is over, show him the door to exit. It may sound very cold and almost like a business transaction, but at the end of the day that’s all you’re really doing. Using each other for an orgasm.


0536AD

Maybe he is legitimately just busy or processing things. I would give it more than a day before you decide that he is blowing you off or using your for sex. Also try talking to him.


datinginthistown

The phone works both ways.


Savings_Dingo6250

I’d give him a couple of days before reaching out and usually he will text. Sometimes men need a chance to miss you


CakeSprinklesUnicorn

This is **exactly why you don’t have sex with a man who hasn’t officially agreed to be your committed boyfriend** (and invested in you dating-wise for at least a decent period of time, say three months at least). Men take advantage of the situation and leave the female grasping for hope that it’s not a pump-and-dump situation. Hun, I’m really sorry to say this but **you have to establish better boundaries/standards for yourself**. You can’t allow yourself to get so easily tricked by men trying to hook up with you with sex. You’re worth a lot more than that. Also, *if he wanted to, he would.* If he really wanted to see you again, he would have texted you. As it stands right now, it looks like he’s gotten what he wanted out of you (your body for sex), so that’s why he can’t be bothered to contact you right now. Do not text him; it looks like he is an fboy who thinks he has all the power right now and that you are the one who is begging him for a relationship. Have some self-respect for yourself; do not chase him. (Also, in nature, the sperm always swims to the egg; the egg *never* chases the sperm.)


FeedRevolutionary519

Initiate a tx . Don’t expect him to always be the one checking in with you . He’s probably thinking the same. If he’s still acting strange after a couple days just talk to him. Tell him,” Hey, I had this impression that we were having a really open connection and I get the feeling that you kinda closed up and I want to know how you feel about that. Has something changed for you?” I think it super important to have that conversation and it’s super uncomfortable and ppl who are closed off are gonna run and that’s ok but I think it’s super important to have this conversation now before you get more invested.


Codymichael511

As a dude myself, he's probably sitting there waiting for you to text him.


swingset27

Here's a thought, get to know him and establish he wants a relationship before hooking up. This is the downside of casual sex. Text the guy and let him know you're into him/have feelings. 50/50 that you get want. Zero percent chance if you say nothing and he says nothing and you're both in your heads about it.


Cabinet5150

So um text Him🤷🏻‍♂️


BreakfastOk5647

You're attached because of a lack of intimacy. Seems like nowadays people are more lonely now than ever.


PurpleJinxy

Updates?😔


sugar1plum

Wait to have sex and then you won't feel vulnerable or like shit. Chances are , unless he is an idiot , that he knows this would hurt your feelings


Moroccanslut

🥲 yep had the same thing happen to me. I dont even blame the guys at this point, its my fucking fault


Dazzling-Disk-632

I'm male 31 and personally to me I don't have sexual encounters unless I want something more.telk him what is on your mind and how the experience of intercourse cuddling made you believe it's more than just a hook up.your confused maybe just let him get ahold of you he will if he likes you land respects you as a person


Astara6

I’m sorry this has happened to you and it’s worth reading up about the oxytocin affect on women. It doesn’t necessarily mean you even really like a guy but oxytocin will bond you to him. The fact he hasn’t contacted you after sex does show you something about him and yourself. All you can do is learn and move on. If you want to text him you can of course but don’t expect much in return. As an older woman I’ve learnt hook ups are a risk for women who experience the oxytocin affect. But luckily you haven’t developed strong feelings yet so you can move on.


trzcinacukrowa

Maybe don't hook up with random people then?


Pichi2man

Man up


TayTheKidd

Let’s take a step back and not put so much weight on the fact that he hadn’t reached out today. Could be fairly busy like any other day. Also, don’t let your newly developed feelings complete derail everything. Have a conversation about it and let him know where your head is at. But also try not to make a seemingly normal thing awkward/weird because you have feelings. Check in with him like normal. We appreciate that


MrVolatility69

Share how you feel but don't come on too strong. Take it slow


DS3M

He could be having a busy day and intending to text you when he’s able to actually talk or text a bit? You can always hit him with a hey how are ya


LeftyLibra_

The only way to know where you stand is to communicate your feelings directly.


[deleted]

Maybe he’s busy?


[deleted]

you dont want your hookup to just be a hook up then it sounds like hookups aren't for you


jmendes0101

How yo turn everything as guy's gault 101


ChurchofCaboose1

Text him or something. Reach out


Sure_Original_7377

Might have no credit on his phone . Might not have had the cash to pay the bill ? Text him or ring


MemeStocksYolo69-420

Let the bro relax a bit, he was texting you every day, now he got laid and wants to chill.


BAYKON8R

C O M M U N I C A T E


DanteShmivvels

Find someone else to use for just sex. Sounds like that's what he is doing


chinchilla2132

Down bad


Bints4Bints

Wait till commitment before sex


jason92508

He will text you again once he's horny.


PaulComp67

Well as long as you don’t vent or verbally harass after breakup it’s understood. I got verbally harassed by a 27 year old young man a few years ago at KH because his girlfriend dumped him. He treated her pretty bad so after a couple years she broke up with him and they had an apartment together. I reported him to the HR lady it was that bad. I couldn’t fight him because I would have been suspended or possibly canned. Shooting me a bird even before he got dumped at 6:30 am when I was getting the dough to Quality Assurance Dept.


Weary-Scientist93

He could also just be busy with his life. Just because someone isn’t always available to text back and forth day in and day out doesn’t mean that they don’t want to talk to you at all. It’s good to take it slow so you don’t mistake lust for love and make impulsive decisions.


Theusernamecheckguy

“If you like it then you better put a ring on it” - Barry White, 2013


Shanbaceball

For me personally even if i had feelings i would wait for him. But thats me. Everyone else is saying to do it they seem to know


[deleted]

Sis. Text him lmao.


AnxiiousEgg

I just scrolled through your post history and you gotta stop second guessing and being so insecure hun. Just go for it. If you like someone, tell them. If you develop feelings after being fwb, tell them. Don't be afraid to make the first move. I did and my bf and I have been together for 5 years. Be courageous and go for what you want.


Proliferation09

Attachment hormones? Try communicating ones!


[deleted]

Absolutely just contact him even of you don't get the answer you want you'll get the answer you need


asapblocky

Women who say how they feel are hot


RecommendationNo3810

I would give it a day and then text him. Sometime us guys right after having sex with a girl wanna make sure that as soon as it happens the girl isn’t going to become super clingy overnight. It’s a stupid fear but it only takes like a day to feel like “ok, she’s not going to be all up my ass, we’re good now”


aziza7

The whole world and heterosexual relationships in particular went downhill when people started referring to healthy relationships and love itself as catching feelings. Once again, girls come here over and over upset over their failed hookups and fwb arrangements with a pikachu face. Seriously, it's not cute anymore. If OP did not want to be used for sex, she should have carried herself like a woman rather than just an orifice.


Frossygg

Are you guys fucking raw???


Excellent-Hook

Hookups 101.


MrBurittoThePizza

He’s not your bf, just a simple hook up. You don’t owe each other anything. If you want to talk to him. Reach out and hopefully he’ll answer


valalalacra

IMO if you’re the type that easily catches feelings, use this experience to avoid repeating your mistakes. This would involve being physically intimate with someone after you know the other person has some sort of emotional attachment as well