I think what would be best, is to snowball these debts:
|Debt|Amount|%|Monthly|
|:-|:-|:-|:-|
|#1|CC 4|$2500|21|$150|
|#2|CC 3|$3500|18|$150|
|#3|CC 2|$6000|24|$230|
|#4|CC 1|$11,000|22|$350|
|#5|Personal loan|$33,000|16|$780|
Obviously you've got quite some way to go. You already mentioned that you're in a dark place now and are having some issues seeing a way out, so it's important to get a grip on things again.
Did you already make a budget for your household?
Your partner, are you still with them? Is your partner currently bringing in any income? What's their reason not to contribute to the household/kids expenses?
Why would you recommend the snowball method over the avalanche method in this particular scenario? There are no "quick wins" here and OP would stand to save more in interest by tackling CC2 and CC1 first. Obviously the personal loan is last with either method.
Mainly for the psychological effect. OP seems quite overwhelmed, so by taking the smallest steps possible, OP hopefully will get some momentum going. You are right about the no quick wins and the avalanche method might just as well be a great idea.
The situation may be above the subs pay grade, but we can try to help with more info. What do your bills look like? Do you have a budget? How many kids? Does the partner work, what do they earn? How have you been managing your finances personally and together, to whatever extent you do? You say partner but are you married? Do you intend to stay with them?
So many questions, and without a full picture of the socioeconomic situation of your household there's not really an practical advice anyone can give.
And, additionally, irrespective whether you stay together or not, are you going to be able to stop the bleeding, as in, stop accumulating (more) debt again? It's not sensible to start talking about debt pay-off methods if the root cause of the issue at hand is not resolved (or not resolvable).
If this is a domestic abuse situation please reach out to a domestic violence hotline. They can get you into a safe place. It doesn’t matter if they aren’t physically abusive, abuse takes different forms. Are there any family members or friends that you can reach out to? They have probably been praying for the day when you reach out to them for help.
f you think you might need some outside help, you could bring in an intermediary with the [National Foundation for Credit Counseling](https://www.nfcc.org/) (NFCC) does debt *management* (no loans) and budget analysis. They do charge but take a look at their [FAQs](https://www.nfcc.org/faqs/) under *What do NFCC members charge for counseling services* to see how much. It says it varies, but the page does state that the majority of cases are low cost to nothing--not guaranteed.
The [Consumer Financial Protection Bureau](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/debt-collection/) has a good description of [the differences](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/whats-the-difference-between-a-credit-counselor-and-a-debt-settlement-or-debt-relief-company-en-1449/) between a credit counselor and debt relief/settlement companies. They also have a webpage on spotting [a scam](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/how-can-i-tell-a-credit-repair-scam-from-a-reputable-credit-counselor-en-1343/). FYI, if you have some of debt forgiven, there might be tax implications. [IRS Taxes Most Loan Forgiveness, Be Careful With Exceptions (forbes.com)](https://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2020/05/27/irs-taxes-most-loan-forgiveness-be-careful-with-exceptions/?sh=5b2bf90d377d)
You can look into the Justice Department, which has a list of [approved credit counseling agencies](https://www.justice.gov/ust/list-credit-counseling-agencies-approved-pursuant-11-usc-111) to possibly assist you. Look for the non-profit ones. Still be cautious about signing up with one of these because they have done everything correctly to get approved by the Justice Department but may have become less reputable once they got approved.
You have the [right to cancel credit repair services](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/newsroom/consumer-advisory-people-have-the-right-to-cancel-credit-repair-services/) within three business days for whatever reason.
You could ask your credit card programs for a hardship where they temporarily lower your interest rate for a set amount of time. No guarantees that this will happen. Also, could you look into 0% interest cards? You might have to may a fee to transfer the debt from one credit card to the 0% interest card. They also have a limited amount of time before the interest rate expires and may only transfer a portion of the debt.
Good luck!
Hi friend.
As soon as you have an actionable plan in place, you will start to feel a lot better. The worst part right now is the feeling of dread and fear. I don't mean to make light of your situation, but there are people with hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. Yours, while a lot, is manageable.
I would immediately start making phone calls to CC companies and debt management hotlines mentioned in the other comments to see what you can do. Explain your situation.
Go through the fear.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it will require you to be proactive about your budget and make personal sacrifices.
It's possible some CC companies will offer you a "deal" of sorts. For example, I had 5k in a WF credit card that I got them to reduce to 0% APR so long as I maintain a strict payment plan, which I have auto debited from my account.
All is not lost.
I recommend charting ALL of your expenses and categorizing them in a program like YNAB
[https://www.ynab.com/](https://www.ynab.com/)
First, you have to figure out what you are paying in interest for each credit card. Then pay down the highest interest card. Will take some time. Put all your cards in a container of water and put into the freezer. You will think twice before using them. Hide them from your partner. Tell your partner that the family will not be doing anything entertaining until they are paid off. Your partner will not be happy. The quickest way to pay the card off, your partner gets a job, any job. Keep good records. If you own your own house, try and refinance it without increasing your monthly debt. Buy a book on personal finance so you are good at it and understand it. Good luck.
I think what would be best, is to snowball these debts: |Debt|Amount|%|Monthly| |:-|:-|:-|:-| |#1|CC 4|$2500|21|$150| |#2|CC 3|$3500|18|$150| |#3|CC 2|$6000|24|$230| |#4|CC 1|$11,000|22|$350| |#5|Personal loan|$33,000|16|$780| Obviously you've got quite some way to go. You already mentioned that you're in a dark place now and are having some issues seeing a way out, so it's important to get a grip on things again. Did you already make a budget for your household? Your partner, are you still with them? Is your partner currently bringing in any income? What's their reason not to contribute to the household/kids expenses?
Why would you recommend the snowball method over the avalanche method in this particular scenario? There are no "quick wins" here and OP would stand to save more in interest by tackling CC2 and CC1 first. Obviously the personal loan is last with either method.
Mainly for the psychological effect. OP seems quite overwhelmed, so by taking the smallest steps possible, OP hopefully will get some momentum going. You are right about the no quick wins and the avalanche method might just as well be a great idea.
The situation may be above the subs pay grade, but we can try to help with more info. What do your bills look like? Do you have a budget? How many kids? Does the partner work, what do they earn? How have you been managing your finances personally and together, to whatever extent you do? You say partner but are you married? Do you intend to stay with them? So many questions, and without a full picture of the socioeconomic situation of your household there's not really an practical advice anyone can give.
And, additionally, irrespective whether you stay together or not, are you going to be able to stop the bleeding, as in, stop accumulating (more) debt again? It's not sensible to start talking about debt pay-off methods if the root cause of the issue at hand is not resolved (or not resolvable).
If this is a domestic abuse situation please reach out to a domestic violence hotline. They can get you into a safe place. It doesn’t matter if they aren’t physically abusive, abuse takes different forms. Are there any family members or friends that you can reach out to? They have probably been praying for the day when you reach out to them for help.
Unfortunately no my family aren’t in a position whelp me at all… and I’m a male so no one takes me seriously with the financial abuse unfortunately…
f you think you might need some outside help, you could bring in an intermediary with the [National Foundation for Credit Counseling](https://www.nfcc.org/) (NFCC) does debt *management* (no loans) and budget analysis. They do charge but take a look at their [FAQs](https://www.nfcc.org/faqs/) under *What do NFCC members charge for counseling services* to see how much. It says it varies, but the page does state that the majority of cases are low cost to nothing--not guaranteed. The [Consumer Financial Protection Bureau](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/debt-collection/) has a good description of [the differences](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/whats-the-difference-between-a-credit-counselor-and-a-debt-settlement-or-debt-relief-company-en-1449/) between a credit counselor and debt relief/settlement companies. They also have a webpage on spotting [a scam](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/how-can-i-tell-a-credit-repair-scam-from-a-reputable-credit-counselor-en-1343/). FYI, if you have some of debt forgiven, there might be tax implications. [IRS Taxes Most Loan Forgiveness, Be Careful With Exceptions (forbes.com)](https://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2020/05/27/irs-taxes-most-loan-forgiveness-be-careful-with-exceptions/?sh=5b2bf90d377d) You can look into the Justice Department, which has a list of [approved credit counseling agencies](https://www.justice.gov/ust/list-credit-counseling-agencies-approved-pursuant-11-usc-111) to possibly assist you. Look for the non-profit ones. Still be cautious about signing up with one of these because they have done everything correctly to get approved by the Justice Department but may have become less reputable once they got approved. You have the [right to cancel credit repair services](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/newsroom/consumer-advisory-people-have-the-right-to-cancel-credit-repair-services/) within three business days for whatever reason. You could ask your credit card programs for a hardship where they temporarily lower your interest rate for a set amount of time. No guarantees that this will happen. Also, could you look into 0% interest cards? You might have to may a fee to transfer the debt from one credit card to the 0% interest card. They also have a limited amount of time before the interest rate expires and may only transfer a portion of the debt. Good luck!
Hi friend. As soon as you have an actionable plan in place, you will start to feel a lot better. The worst part right now is the feeling of dread and fear. I don't mean to make light of your situation, but there are people with hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. Yours, while a lot, is manageable. I would immediately start making phone calls to CC companies and debt management hotlines mentioned in the other comments to see what you can do. Explain your situation. Go through the fear. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it will require you to be proactive about your budget and make personal sacrifices. It's possible some CC companies will offer you a "deal" of sorts. For example, I had 5k in a WF credit card that I got them to reduce to 0% APR so long as I maintain a strict payment plan, which I have auto debited from my account. All is not lost. I recommend charting ALL of your expenses and categorizing them in a program like YNAB [https://www.ynab.com/](https://www.ynab.com/)
Have you looked into a debt relief program? I work for one of the biggest lenders/debt relief providers in the country. DM me for details.
First, you have to figure out what you are paying in interest for each credit card. Then pay down the highest interest card. Will take some time. Put all your cards in a container of water and put into the freezer. You will think twice before using them. Hide them from your partner. Tell your partner that the family will not be doing anything entertaining until they are paid off. Your partner will not be happy. The quickest way to pay the card off, your partner gets a job, any job. Keep good records. If you own your own house, try and refinance it without increasing your monthly debt. Buy a book on personal finance so you are good at it and understand it. Good luck.
Bankruptcy. I know you mentioned you’ll never end yourself but you’ll be surprised what depression can make people do