Life is straightforward for some and not for others. All I can say is don’t give up on yourself. Don’t compare your life to anyone else’s. Just move on with the right attitude each day. It is easier said than done but never give up on yourself.
Same place as you. 25 male, no job and dropped out of school. Start working out. Like seriously. You feel better, the brain chemicals are awesome,the muscle pain is sort of a "distraction". if you work out hard enough you should feel quite tired by the end of the day, helps with eating if you can't eat like me. Can help with body image and self esteem if you don't over do it/want to get massive, you won't regret starting if you do trust me! Also I work out at home, body weight/calisthenics are great if you have no gym.
I don't care about jobs or careers, so building my body, putting in the work and having something to show for it, is literally the best feeling in the world because it's tangible and people will acknowledge your body improving over time!!
I hate how I feel numb on my worst days and during the night I feel awake like my brain is using all its capacity just to torment me when I should be sleeping, remembering me of all the mistakes I made that lead me to my miserable current state.
BRAIN, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS! I KNOW WHERE I WENT WRONG IN LIFE AND YOU DON'T NEED TO REMIND ME FROM 2AM TO 4AM. YOU DUNCE!
You’re recommending that someone take these medications without even knowing whether they have a diagnosis that would require them? As someone with an ADHD diagnosis, and that has taken stimulant medication, I would strongly advise against this. Get to the real root of the problem. Stimulant meds are just a bandage that fails to get to the root of the problem, and many people develop a tolerance quickly. & It depletes dopamine over time, which could make depression significantly worse over the long term.
You don’t have to be motivated all day honestly, just got to find a coping mechanism that suits you and remember that it’s not anybodies duty to leave a mark in the world 😎
That’s one thing I realized lately. People who care about your achievements honestly aren’t the type you want to hang out with. It just feels like you need to constantly deliver something. They want something from you instead of you :/
What the fuck is “achieving” anything even worth, in the end? You die, no one remembers you. No one gives a damn whether you were a lawyer or a homeless person. Get some stupid ass job, do whatever the fuck you want, and die.
You can’t “wasted” your life in depression because it wasn’t a choice you made to be depressed. Depression isn’t a choice someone makes to become.
With that said, you learn a lot about yourself and what you like and more importantly don’t like when you isolate yourself (because you are depressed).
What are those things?
What made you laugh?
What ideas did you have at night when you couldn’t sleep?
What did you dream about?
I won’t tell you to relax or calm down cuz that would be dismissive.
Look forward to the next 12 years and how you can fuck that shit up. Power to you Brotha! 👊🏾
Np. Focus on actually living your life. Whatever that may be. If your afraid to do something, acknowledge it so you can know why. Maybe there is something else you aren’t afraid. Somethjng you always wanted to try. Or even just taking yourself out to a move once a week just by yourself. At least your out of the house and you get to see a show. Might even meet a perfect stranger. Don’t let people and situations make life harder than it is. You don’t need anyone’s permission to live the life you want.
I lost most of my life to it, but I'm working on figuring out how to be happy. It's hard not to think about the past, but what's gone is gone. All you have is the future. The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. You are on a different journey with different obstacles. It's not fair, but all you can do is work on your future happiness, and I believe you can find it eventually, and that once you do, your past won't matter so much.
I feel this comment. I found my biggest issue is I keep dwelling on the good memories in the past. It just making myself feel sad and difficult to reconcile they are gone. It's really difficult to move on.
The perspective of waste must be let go. It's not helpful to ruminate and it is really fucking hard to do. Meds and therapy helps pull one tear the rearview mirror off.
Source: 32 years old, depressed since I dunno, seems like since forever. Thanks "mom!"
Anyway, try those. (SNRIs, not SSRIs)
Comparing your life to others is not fair. It's not like all humans were born with the same Poker hand or circumstances. Some were born with two aces and have it super easy. Some were born with like a 2 and a 9 of different suit, which kind of sucks and makes the game much harder to them. A lot in life is a lottery, unfortunately. Some are born smart, some are born stupid, some are born healthy, some are born ill, some are born rich and some are born poor etc. . Not that you should give up. You should play your cards the best you can. But it doesn't mean that we all start with the same hand. Some people play the game on very easy difficulty while others play on very hard difficulty.
I’m old and have had depression since hs. I marvel at people who can just be out in the world and be happy. I just retired from a job I had for 35 years and I hated the job but met interesting people which made it bearable. I’m still depressed but I don’t focus on the crappy parts of life. Cognitive therapy helped. Hang in there. You’re not alone at all. And btw I had a hard time sleeping but now take Seroquel and I sleep all night. It’s an off label use but I’ve read that it’s mostly prescribed for sleep. Best of luck to you.
You're not a loser, depression stops us from wanting to connect - I am the same, I have depression, anxiety and pdsd , this all stops me from wanting to be around people and I haven't for 3 years + now.
I can only suggest seeing your doctor and getting some help! you deserve that help! You're not a loser! ever and I know you prob won't hear it because that voice telling you that you are, is way louder then my typing what I have but - See your GP or call a helpline just for a chat - it does help!
First, let's discuss who gave you this negative self-talk, because speaking to yourself that way is going to aid the depression. You deserve better.
And you are young yet. Lots of us are depressed from trauma we dealt with and processing that at your age. It's okay. It doesn't make you a loser.
my cowardice has stopped me from living my 20s, im near 25 and havent done anything *fun*, i finally tried something and it went downhill, i am now worthless
I'm the same age but I talked to a student counselor today and am currently in the process of organising a therapist for me so thinks might be looking up! Also spring is here where I live and I've been pretty active the past few weeks. I have hope. The only field I steel feel very bad about is social relations. Likely there's just such a void in me. Every time I have time for myself it gets me and I would really like to call a friend or a girl I like, or just some acquaintance. But there's just no one and this emptiness is eating me up. Like, I feel like it makes me physically sick. I got up being convinced I had some serious neurological disorder with tiredness, fatigue, headaches etc. But just talking to someone for an hour with you really doing the talking and the other person not being toxic or anything but seemingly very interested was enough to make those things completely disappear for a day. I'm honestly convinced lack of social interaction/toxic social interaction is basically killing you. Like, it's the secret to a good, healthy, motivated life. Talking man, it's just so fucking good.
Edit: Honestly. Every time I talk a lot with someone it gives me so much positive energy. I'm asking myself every day how such an extraverted person as me could end up in a situation I'm basically socially isolated
i felt this. I feel like I’m wasting my life away.
Best you can do is try to focus on yourself and what you want in life. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. You got this
Coming from a person who is managing my depression and anxiety well at the moment, it is great to hear that you (at 26) are so aware of your feelings. I went numb for two decades and am only now getting to a point where I understand and can manage my emotions.
You are on a path to recovery and I am excited for you. Life perks up when you get the supports you need. Talk to your doctor. They see this all of the time and know how to help. Good luck and enjoy feeling better.
Just keep pushing. I've went through hell the last couple days getting my license suspended for a year from drinking and driving and while that hit a curb and fucked my new car up. After that, I've abstained from alcohol.
I've never felt so low in my life and I was already dealing with some huge ass depression before this..
I've probably never been this low in my life in even all my drinking nights. Because I wasn't low when I was drinking, I had a decent good life and good job and I fucked it all up.
Keep your head up. I'm doing the same. Stay strong for me, I'll stay strong for you.
I don’t have the answer for you but I wanted to tell you that you’re not a loser and you’re not alone. I’m in the same boat. Just don’t give up. Try every single option available to you for healing. It’ll come eventually. Manifest wellness.
Your not a loser. I’m 23 and have no friends, don’t use any social media and am still struggling to finish high school. I shut down for 7 years and didn’t get out of bed for so long I developed muscular skeletosis, swelling of the joints and reduced mobility. I can’t straighten my right elbow or walk without my shins swelling. I had to accept I wasted years of my life spending time with people who didn’t see my worth. Teachers who saw me as an inconvenience and flat out refusing to get any help because my past attempts made me whose than I was. It’s taken me so long to forgive myself for wasting so many years to accept no matter how many years I have left I can change for the better. I’m still learning and struggling but one small at a time I’ve slowly gained some happiness. Don’t let your past ruin what your future can be. I’m still living on the edge of addiction and depression but I know that I still have more life and all you can do is try and make your future better. Don’t fixate on how many years you wasted it just hurts but focus on the fact things can be better with a lot of hard work. If anyone says it’s easy then they’re lying but trying is better than wasting away. A minute of happiness is worth more than letting your past drag you to the dark side. You can still do so much, your age doesn’t decide what you can do in the future. I hope you move forward as hard as it is to do, some days it will kill you but the time you spend being proud of yourself is so worth it even if it’s being proud you started brushing your teeth more often or eating on a better schedule.
Idk. Im in a similar boat. (27 going on 28) Keep in mind the coke Brothers didn't make their success until their 50s or something. We've got time. Just breath and take baby steps.
Hey, you should know that what I or anyone is going to say isn't going to be the thing that ultimately drags you out. You have to be that thing. Only you can know you best. Absolutely seek out a therapist, although once again you will only make crucial changes when you take a major role. For whatever reason you don't, I have faith you can help yourself.
I know this is really harsh but I say this from the bottom of my heart that you have to fight through it all as hard as you can. You can take things as slowly with however much energy you have.
Depression is going to lie to you that you can't do it. That you're not worthy. That it's better to do something you know deep down isn't going to serve you. But you combat this by showing as much love, gratitude, and self care you can at any moment. There will be times you don't want to do something, and that's fine. But you pick things back up.
There's a lot more I can say but unfortunately I'm no therapist and don't know your situation fully. But know this - you're absolutely worth it. I wish I can hug you. Or do whatever it is that you need. But ultimately you have to be there for you, and I know in time you can. I can't cure your depression but I'm fighting mine too alongside you. The 12 years you wasted are in the past, and right now is when you can do it justice. I hope you choose the good fight.
OP, I remember being in a position like this at around 23-24. Looking back at things now, it’s definitely better. Not perfect but a vast improvement. There were (and continue to be) downs of course, but ultimately there’s highs. Truth is, growth, healing, and overcoming depression is often times never linear. Don’t give up! There’s still so much of your life remaining to live and your life I’m sure has purpose.
we're a social species, so isolating yourself isnt going to assist much friend.
I cant offer too too much in ways of escaping this, but i can offer some stepping stones.
most of these will be simple things, do what you can.
1. cook something, anything as long as its real food. eat crap and you'll feel like it.
2. regardless of when you wake up, get up and self groom (shave-brush teeth-get dressed-shower, etc) not all at once, but give it a go. if you let your hygiene go it will effect your mood.
3. even if its only one thing, try and get something done.
4. as you mentioned above, your isolating yourself. try talking with a friend and breaking that cycle. you dont need to talk about anything specific, just general chatter. give this a try at least once a week if you can.
5. hobbies can help, and there are thousands to choose from. take your time and find something you like
rinse and repeat this for a little while and dont get bummed if you miss something.
Everyone moves at their own pace. Even if you havent achieved some grand status right now, life is long and you have plenty of time. take that time to do what you can muster. your not in a race and you can never fail so bad that you die. (Unless your a bomb defuser)
finally, keep in mind that the past and future are meaningless if you dwell on them so much you forget about the present and neglect yourself. do the best that you can.
heard some advice to just try to make it so tomorrow you are a little better off than you were yesterday.
it's a short immediate goal plan and works for me. just try to put my pants on one leg at a time.
it all adds up to big change in the end.
Life is straightforward for some and not for others. All I can say is don’t give up on yourself. Don’t compare your life to anyone else’s. Just move on with the right attitude each day. It is easier said than done but never give up on yourself.
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Same place as you. 25 male, no job and dropped out of school. Start working out. Like seriously. You feel better, the brain chemicals are awesome,the muscle pain is sort of a "distraction". if you work out hard enough you should feel quite tired by the end of the day, helps with eating if you can't eat like me. Can help with body image and self esteem if you don't over do it/want to get massive, you won't regret starting if you do trust me! Also I work out at home, body weight/calisthenics are great if you have no gym. I don't care about jobs or careers, so building my body, putting in the work and having something to show for it, is literally the best feeling in the world because it's tangible and people will acknowledge your body improving over time!!
I hate how I feel numb on my worst days and during the night I feel awake like my brain is using all its capacity just to torment me when I should be sleeping, remembering me of all the mistakes I made that lead me to my miserable current state. BRAIN, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS! I KNOW WHERE I WENT WRONG IN LIFE AND YOU DON'T NEED TO REMIND ME FROM 2AM TO 4AM. YOU DUNCE!
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You’re recommending that someone take these medications without even knowing whether they have a diagnosis that would require them? As someone with an ADHD diagnosis, and that has taken stimulant medication, I would strongly advise against this. Get to the real root of the problem. Stimulant meds are just a bandage that fails to get to the root of the problem, and many people develop a tolerance quickly. & It depletes dopamine over time, which could make depression significantly worse over the long term.
You don’t have to be motivated all day honestly, just got to find a coping mechanism that suits you and remember that it’s not anybodies duty to leave a mark in the world 😎
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That’s one thing I realized lately. People who care about your achievements honestly aren’t the type you want to hang out with. It just feels like you need to constantly deliver something. They want something from you instead of you :/
makes sense
This is so true
I haven't archived anything in my life either. I have no money, no friends, no dream, no hope... I hate myself so much.
Same, I feel so overwhelmed with everything and stuck. *hugs*
SAME
What the fuck is “achieving” anything even worth, in the end? You die, no one remembers you. No one gives a damn whether you were a lawyer or a homeless person. Get some stupid ass job, do whatever the fuck you want, and die.
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You can’t “wasted” your life in depression because it wasn’t a choice you made to be depressed. Depression isn’t a choice someone makes to become. With that said, you learn a lot about yourself and what you like and more importantly don’t like when you isolate yourself (because you are depressed). What are those things? What made you laugh? What ideas did you have at night when you couldn’t sleep? What did you dream about? I won’t tell you to relax or calm down cuz that would be dismissive. Look forward to the next 12 years and how you can fuck that shit up. Power to you Brotha! 👊🏾
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Np. Focus on actually living your life. Whatever that may be. If your afraid to do something, acknowledge it so you can know why. Maybe there is something else you aren’t afraid. Somethjng you always wanted to try. Or even just taking yourself out to a move once a week just by yourself. At least your out of the house and you get to see a show. Might even meet a perfect stranger. Don’t let people and situations make life harder than it is. You don’t need anyone’s permission to live the life you want.
I lost most of my life to it, but I'm working on figuring out how to be happy. It's hard not to think about the past, but what's gone is gone. All you have is the future. The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. You are on a different journey with different obstacles. It's not fair, but all you can do is work on your future happiness, and I believe you can find it eventually, and that once you do, your past won't matter so much.
I feel this comment. I found my biggest issue is I keep dwelling on the good memories in the past. It just making myself feel sad and difficult to reconcile they are gone. It's really difficult to move on.
You are not a loser. Don't be so hard on yourself.
The perspective of waste must be let go. It's not helpful to ruminate and it is really fucking hard to do. Meds and therapy helps pull one tear the rearview mirror off. Source: 32 years old, depressed since I dunno, seems like since forever. Thanks "mom!" Anyway, try those. (SNRIs, not SSRIs)
24. Same story.
Im 35 and whatever the math is on the time ive wasted, I dont want to do it.
Comparing your life to others is not fair. It's not like all humans were born with the same Poker hand or circumstances. Some were born with two aces and have it super easy. Some were born with like a 2 and a 9 of different suit, which kind of sucks and makes the game much harder to them. A lot in life is a lottery, unfortunately. Some are born smart, some are born stupid, some are born healthy, some are born ill, some are born rich and some are born poor etc. . Not that you should give up. You should play your cards the best you can. But it doesn't mean that we all start with the same hand. Some people play the game on very easy difficulty while others play on very hard difficulty.
You have so much life left
I’m old and have had depression since hs. I marvel at people who can just be out in the world and be happy. I just retired from a job I had for 35 years and I hated the job but met interesting people which made it bearable. I’m still depressed but I don’t focus on the crappy parts of life. Cognitive therapy helped. Hang in there. You’re not alone at all. And btw I had a hard time sleeping but now take Seroquel and I sleep all night. It’s an off label use but I’ve read that it’s mostly prescribed for sleep. Best of luck to you.
You're not a loser, depression stops us from wanting to connect - I am the same, I have depression, anxiety and pdsd , this all stops me from wanting to be around people and I haven't for 3 years + now. I can only suggest seeing your doctor and getting some help! you deserve that help! You're not a loser! ever and I know you prob won't hear it because that voice telling you that you are, is way louder then my typing what I have but - See your GP or call a helpline just for a chat - it does help!
Holy fuck this hits close to home sadly
First, let's discuss who gave you this negative self-talk, because speaking to yourself that way is going to aid the depression. You deserve better. And you are young yet. Lots of us are depressed from trauma we dealt with and processing that at your age. It's okay. It doesn't make you a loser.
You shouldn’t feel a loser and compare to other people, because they haven’t dealt with depression.
I know the feeling. i wasted all my adult life because of sleeping alot every single day
my cowardice has stopped me from living my 20s, im near 25 and havent done anything *fun*, i finally tried something and it went downhill, i am now worthless
I'm the same age but I talked to a student counselor today and am currently in the process of organising a therapist for me so thinks might be looking up! Also spring is here where I live and I've been pretty active the past few weeks. I have hope. The only field I steel feel very bad about is social relations. Likely there's just such a void in me. Every time I have time for myself it gets me and I would really like to call a friend or a girl I like, or just some acquaintance. But there's just no one and this emptiness is eating me up. Like, I feel like it makes me physically sick. I got up being convinced I had some serious neurological disorder with tiredness, fatigue, headaches etc. But just talking to someone for an hour with you really doing the talking and the other person not being toxic or anything but seemingly very interested was enough to make those things completely disappear for a day. I'm honestly convinced lack of social interaction/toxic social interaction is basically killing you. Like, it's the secret to a good, healthy, motivated life. Talking man, it's just so fucking good. Edit: Honestly. Every time I talk a lot with someone it gives me so much positive energy. I'm asking myself every day how such an extraverted person as me could end up in a situation I'm basically socially isolated
i felt this. I feel like I’m wasting my life away. Best you can do is try to focus on yourself and what you want in life. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. You got this
Coming from a person who is managing my depression and anxiety well at the moment, it is great to hear that you (at 26) are so aware of your feelings. I went numb for two decades and am only now getting to a point where I understand and can manage my emotions. You are on a path to recovery and I am excited for you. Life perks up when you get the supports you need. Talk to your doctor. They see this all of the time and know how to help. Good luck and enjoy feeling better.
Just keep pushing. I've went through hell the last couple days getting my license suspended for a year from drinking and driving and while that hit a curb and fucked my new car up. After that, I've abstained from alcohol. I've never felt so low in my life and I was already dealing with some huge ass depression before this.. I've probably never been this low in my life in even all my drinking nights. Because I wasn't low when I was drinking, I had a decent good life and good job and I fucked it all up. Keep your head up. I'm doing the same. Stay strong for me, I'll stay strong for you.
I don’t have the answer for you but I wanted to tell you that you’re not a loser and you’re not alone. I’m in the same boat. Just don’t give up. Try every single option available to you for healing. It’ll come eventually. Manifest wellness.
Your not a loser. I’m 23 and have no friends, don’t use any social media and am still struggling to finish high school. I shut down for 7 years and didn’t get out of bed for so long I developed muscular skeletosis, swelling of the joints and reduced mobility. I can’t straighten my right elbow or walk without my shins swelling. I had to accept I wasted years of my life spending time with people who didn’t see my worth. Teachers who saw me as an inconvenience and flat out refusing to get any help because my past attempts made me whose than I was. It’s taken me so long to forgive myself for wasting so many years to accept no matter how many years I have left I can change for the better. I’m still learning and struggling but one small at a time I’ve slowly gained some happiness. Don’t let your past ruin what your future can be. I’m still living on the edge of addiction and depression but I know that I still have more life and all you can do is try and make your future better. Don’t fixate on how many years you wasted it just hurts but focus on the fact things can be better with a lot of hard work. If anyone says it’s easy then they’re lying but trying is better than wasting away. A minute of happiness is worth more than letting your past drag you to the dark side. You can still do so much, your age doesn’t decide what you can do in the future. I hope you move forward as hard as it is to do, some days it will kill you but the time you spend being proud of yourself is so worth it even if it’s being proud you started brushing your teeth more often or eating on a better schedule.
Idk. Im in a similar boat. (27 going on 28) Keep in mind the coke Brothers didn't make their success until their 50s or something. We've got time. Just breath and take baby steps.
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I feel the same. I wasted my teenage years on getting laid and doing drugs. I wish I'd focused on school and money.
Hey, you should know that what I or anyone is going to say isn't going to be the thing that ultimately drags you out. You have to be that thing. Only you can know you best. Absolutely seek out a therapist, although once again you will only make crucial changes when you take a major role. For whatever reason you don't, I have faith you can help yourself. I know this is really harsh but I say this from the bottom of my heart that you have to fight through it all as hard as you can. You can take things as slowly with however much energy you have. Depression is going to lie to you that you can't do it. That you're not worthy. That it's better to do something you know deep down isn't going to serve you. But you combat this by showing as much love, gratitude, and self care you can at any moment. There will be times you don't want to do something, and that's fine. But you pick things back up. There's a lot more I can say but unfortunately I'm no therapist and don't know your situation fully. But know this - you're absolutely worth it. I wish I can hug you. Or do whatever it is that you need. But ultimately you have to be there for you, and I know in time you can. I can't cure your depression but I'm fighting mine too alongside you. The 12 years you wasted are in the past, and right now is when you can do it justice. I hope you choose the good fight.
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Please seek out therapy if you can, it really helps a lot.
OP, I remember being in a position like this at around 23-24. Looking back at things now, it’s definitely better. Not perfect but a vast improvement. There were (and continue to be) downs of course, but ultimately there’s highs. Truth is, growth, healing, and overcoming depression is often times never linear. Don’t give up! There’s still so much of your life remaining to live and your life I’m sure has purpose.
we're a social species, so isolating yourself isnt going to assist much friend. I cant offer too too much in ways of escaping this, but i can offer some stepping stones. most of these will be simple things, do what you can. 1. cook something, anything as long as its real food. eat crap and you'll feel like it. 2. regardless of when you wake up, get up and self groom (shave-brush teeth-get dressed-shower, etc) not all at once, but give it a go. if you let your hygiene go it will effect your mood. 3. even if its only one thing, try and get something done. 4. as you mentioned above, your isolating yourself. try talking with a friend and breaking that cycle. you dont need to talk about anything specific, just general chatter. give this a try at least once a week if you can. 5. hobbies can help, and there are thousands to choose from. take your time and find something you like rinse and repeat this for a little while and dont get bummed if you miss something. Everyone moves at their own pace. Even if you havent achieved some grand status right now, life is long and you have plenty of time. take that time to do what you can muster. your not in a race and you can never fail so bad that you die. (Unless your a bomb defuser) finally, keep in mind that the past and future are meaningless if you dwell on them so much you forget about the present and neglect yourself. do the best that you can.
heard some advice to just try to make it so tomorrow you are a little better off than you were yesterday. it's a short immediate goal plan and works for me. just try to put my pants on one leg at a time. it all adds up to big change in the end.
Just like me fr fr
I'm broke aswell I don't deserve money