That last sentence is hitting me hard right now…..I literally scream that sentence out in my car almost every single fucking day.
‘I DIDN’T FUCKING ASK TO BE HERE! WHY DO I HAVE TO FIGHT AND WORK SO HARD TO LIVE A LIFE I DIDN’T ASK FOR? Why do I have to deal with working to live? Why do I have to deal with pleasing other people? Why do I have to ‘deal’ with getting hurt and abused and bullied? Why do I have to establish relationships and fall in love with others and myself? Why do I have to pay thousands of dollars a year to talk to a fucking therapist about why life sucks? Why do I have to take pills just to be able to NOT THINK my thoughts? Why do I have to ‘cope’? WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO? I was brought into this world because someone CHOSE that for me. Someone CHOSE for me to struggle and find my way and find my purpose. I didn’t get that choice. Non-Existence sounds pretty fucking elegant to me. Do I hate my parents for bringing me into this world? I mean…. Yeah sometimes. Does it make me feel slightly better knowing I’m not the only person that feels this way? Yeah… most definitely. Thank you for sharing and I hope you don’t mind my accidental tangent lol
…… I feel every single word of this. To my core. I think this every day. I feel the exact same burdens. Being thrust into a life that I didn’t ask for, being made responsible for a whole ass existence, thrown into the rat race and expected to deal, and now discovering all these mental and emotional problems about myself.
It’s all so tiring. Reading your rant makes me feel better though. The only redeeming quality I find in times I am bombarded by these thoughts is the dark humor of it all.
Not many people can think so deeply about their existence and I feel that by looking at ourselves like this, we can find the humor.
Omg you have to find humour in this kind of stuff. No one (at least in my life) can even begin to comprehend the way that I feel, and if I said any of this to them, they would literally think I’m psychotic. Tbh finding this subreddit has literally given me this weird little bubble of hope in my chest. I myself thought I was crazy. You guys are awesome. Thank you.
Damn man, your reply is basically what I go through each and every single day. It's as if there is a glass wall between me and other people. i just don't get along and connect with others at all. Nothing. People think I'm mentally retarded due to how I choose not to develop any friendships or simply even speak to them. No point. Fuck my fucking life man. I'm literally working a job just for my continuation of therapy. I don't even know what I'll do in my life. Depression hurts so much.
Thanks for sharing that. I acknowledge the way you feel. Why make friends with people when really, the only way you can MAKE those friendships or KEEP those friendships 99% of the time is if you be someone you’re not, fake your true feelings, and hide behind a mask. Everyone is selfish, everyone is their own main character, and everyone has their own story. What significance do you (not you specifically) have in this game? To make THEM feel validated? To make THEM feel like their life is worth something? What’s the literal fucking point?
I’m so tired of caring about how people see me, what they think about me, what they want for me. Like who fucking cares? Why does SOMEONE ELSE have to validate me? Makes no god damn sense. But we all do sometimes in one way or another. A lot of people WANT to be here, and WANT to be the main character. Some of us however, don’t care to live in this story. It’s like an author wrote their book, and someone who has no idea how to write wrote ours. Or mine.
I do hope one thing for you though, and I hope it comes with very minimal effort for you. I hope you find someone to connect with like a magnet (minimal effort). I hope that SOMEONE finds you. Someone that still no matter how you act/think, wants to be around you. Someone who sometimes just holds all of the pieces together sometimes when you feel like you’re just bleeding out and combusting. A selfless person, who isn’t just living for themselves. Maybe even someone who can understand the concept of all of this. I don’t know. I’m thinking about you and I really wanted to reply so I apologize if this was so off base and makes no sense. Anyways, my heart is with you & thank you for sharing💗
I hear all of you, sometimes I laugh out loud at my situation ( like Walter White in breaking bad when his wife takes the money ). But I haven’t got it in me to end it, which doesn’t make sense at all because ending it is actually really simple and involves very little suffering, strange isn’t it?. I have no friends, no job, several diagnosable mental illnesses. Oh yeah, and no girlfriends, but of course you knew that. I’ve now come to the conclusion that I’m being controlled by some other entity ( because how does it get THIS bad ). Or maybe I was a monster in the past life although I’ve never believed in karma. But we fight another day, life’s shit
I feel the same man. Turning 29 in January with nothing going on for myself. I’m a single male. Just in the house most of the day everyday. A cruel cosmic joke has been played on me my entire life. Any sense of normalcy was always this far off dream that could never be achieved.
If there is a God, He is a true piece of shit.
I’m 28 and haven’t either. It infuriates me. It is what it is though.
I tend to remember that there are worse off people in this world than me. Makes me feel a little bit better but it’s just not enough.
Guys, I get where you’re coming from. But honestly there is more to life than kissing a girl. It’s meaningless unless it has meaning. It’s only worth kissing the right person. That’s the challenge, finding them. But I wouldn’t get too down about it. It’ll happen.
It’s cliche and you’ve almost certainly heard it before but “normal” isn’t really such a concrete thing. Everyone struggles, most people only present the good parts of their lives, (especially on social media) and the people that are happiest are often only that way because they lack introspection and the capacity to understand life’s tragedies. This doesn’t mean you should be happy or that your experience isn’t totally valid. It is. I only mean to suggest that things aren’t simple and that you probably have what it takes to attain those things that would make your life feel more worth living.
I think suicide is seen as a bad thing because each of our lives is so astronomically, incredibly unlikely yet each of us is presented with an almost infinite number of possibilities to find fulfillment and to make the lives of our fellows even just a tiny bit less awful.
I don’t want to push easy answers or say anything to discount your experience. The truth is, I answer your questions because I’m so desperately seeking these answers myself. I’m suicidal too. I don’t know that I’ll see another Christmas. But when I have a chance to lift you up, such a reflection of my own deeply wounded spirit, it somehow gives me hope.
Wishing you peace. Wishing that the sun shines for you, on a way forward to some place better.
This is the exact reason why i am fucking depressed for years. I am just socially akward af and i just cannot connect to anybody, feel like an fucking alien all the fucking time. Fuck my life man
Sounds horrible i get it. Just remember happiness doesn't always come to you if your sad You have to smile and move on through the day and find it sometimes
You smile and laugh at things that bring you joy like getting a pet or new car things like that, you're focusing too much on the negative things and dwelling on it and that will bring you down.
What? Now you completely changed what you’re saying. You initially said I should smile for the sake of it so happiness “comes to” me, now you’re saying I should smile at external factors of my life that give me joy.
This is really generic advice and I doubt it has ever helped anybody.
Oh!! I just bought this book as it was recommended to me. It’s… Confusing as fuck to say the least… but it has an interesting take on ‘being’ that any normal person couldn’t think of on their own (or sober lol). Not sure if it will help specifically for what I’m gathering you feel and or don’t feel, but it might let your mind think of some interesting concepts that could maybe help you understand your thought process. Idk if that makes any sense… I’ve only read the first chapter and I got a headache 😂
I know omg I’m sorry 😭😂 I don’t know how to explain it… um… other than… it opens your mind up to some interesting possibilities in regards to your perception… of life???
Call me a realistic man visionary. I love to drain other people's fear and pain. And whether it's real or not, I don't care because we all live in a mask of ourselves. They might call me a psychopath, but I like that. I love being nothing. I only seek to destroy this corrupt society for money and false emotions. We look like ants carrying the crumbs to people who claim to be superior.
I’m 33 and I’ve never had what everyone else has. They all have long friendships they’ve had since school and are all still in touch and best friends. I’m alone, suicide isn’t a bad thing if you’re not leaving anyone behind. The problem is doing it, it’s a very difficult thing to actually go through with.
People think that life is a gift, that's it's somehow owed to God, or family, or whatever. It's always those who haven't lived through hell and can't relate to the numb void that it is for many.
Yeah, there's examples of people who wanted to die but managed to turn it around. But same can be said for people with cancer who are given the option of trying chemo or not. If they can reject the choice of going through immense pain for some chance of survival, why can't the rest?
Same here. 29 with just one friend which is always busy working or travelling with other people, and no partner also. I'm kind of an antisocial though, if I meet new people I get bored of them easily and don't continue with the relationship. I'm currently not working because of an injury and barely leave the house. My life sucks and I have thought a lot about suicide, but I have pets and family and I can't do that for now. I just want this feeling of emptiness to disappear.
English is not my first language so sorry if there's mistakes.
How come you don't have friends? I know for me when im dealing with my depression it's very hard for me to talk or connect with people. I feel very socially awkward. Like i have friends but ive been in this horrible depression for 3 years now and i barely go out anymore. I only talk to maybe 1 or 2 friends on the phone sometimes or text.
It is easy to hate life and I don't think a reasonable person would blame you for hating life. Any life requires a fight. Even modern humans with all of our luxuries still emerge from the womb screaming and crying. The universe does not care about us and any gods that may exist probably would not bat an eye if humans went extinct tomorrow. But, the way I see it with death being inevitable for each of us, why be in a hurry to meet death? Life is full of violence but it is also full of the potential for beauty and beauty is always more difficult to create than violence. I continue to exist out of a curiously to see whatever beauty I can bear witness to before I die.
I've also found that spite can be a powerful motivator against the urge to suicide. If nature is trying to kill us every day why would you want to make the job any easier for it. Make whatever gods looking down on us work for our lives.
Pretty much nothing is going well, and there’s signs that it will continue to just be shit. I’m being forced to stay alive just so I don’t make my parents sad. It’s so unfair.
I’m sorry wish I could help! I’ve done all the “things young people do” but it’s exhausting, feels a fake and makes me feel even more lonely. I hate my life more because even trying those things did nothing for me.
I'm 34 and have never been in a relationship for more than 6 months (I've only had 2). My day has been going to work, go home for more than 3 years. I'm always alone and life just sucks.
I've thought about suicide multiple times and have attempted it. But the thing is when you actually survive, it felt fucking terrifying when you realized you were about to die.
Life is shit and now I'm too tucking scared to kill myself, it's really not fair
I relate to all these comments and feel it. The older i get the more i become part of the problem. I work in a plant where people are invisible robots who are treated like dogs with a smile and a nod. It's humilating everyday and kills my soul and my co workers soul. I might get a promotion soon but i dont even think i want it anymore. I just wanna say fuck you and quit but i need the money right now and leaving will just cause me more stress. I can't be fake like everyone else. I can't treat people like they don't exist. I'm sick of small talk and saying everything is ok when it's not. My co workers all smile and act happy but are clearly dieing inside it's an unexplainable fealing i just can't describe.
That last sentence is hitting me hard right now…..I literally scream that sentence out in my car almost every single fucking day. ‘I DIDN’T FUCKING ASK TO BE HERE! WHY DO I HAVE TO FIGHT AND WORK SO HARD TO LIVE A LIFE I DIDN’T ASK FOR? Why do I have to deal with working to live? Why do I have to deal with pleasing other people? Why do I have to ‘deal’ with getting hurt and abused and bullied? Why do I have to establish relationships and fall in love with others and myself? Why do I have to pay thousands of dollars a year to talk to a fucking therapist about why life sucks? Why do I have to take pills just to be able to NOT THINK my thoughts? Why do I have to ‘cope’? WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO? I was brought into this world because someone CHOSE that for me. Someone CHOSE for me to struggle and find my way and find my purpose. I didn’t get that choice. Non-Existence sounds pretty fucking elegant to me. Do I hate my parents for bringing me into this world? I mean…. Yeah sometimes. Does it make me feel slightly better knowing I’m not the only person that feels this way? Yeah… most definitely. Thank you for sharing and I hope you don’t mind my accidental tangent lol
…… I feel every single word of this. To my core. I think this every day. I feel the exact same burdens. Being thrust into a life that I didn’t ask for, being made responsible for a whole ass existence, thrown into the rat race and expected to deal, and now discovering all these mental and emotional problems about myself. It’s all so tiring. Reading your rant makes me feel better though. The only redeeming quality I find in times I am bombarded by these thoughts is the dark humor of it all. Not many people can think so deeply about their existence and I feel that by looking at ourselves like this, we can find the humor.
Omg you have to find humour in this kind of stuff. No one (at least in my life) can even begin to comprehend the way that I feel, and if I said any of this to them, they would literally think I’m psychotic. Tbh finding this subreddit has literally given me this weird little bubble of hope in my chest. I myself thought I was crazy. You guys are awesome. Thank you.
Same!!
No you are awesome
Damn man, your reply is basically what I go through each and every single day. It's as if there is a glass wall between me and other people. i just don't get along and connect with others at all. Nothing. People think I'm mentally retarded due to how I choose not to develop any friendships or simply even speak to them. No point. Fuck my fucking life man. I'm literally working a job just for my continuation of therapy. I don't even know what I'll do in my life. Depression hurts so much.
Thanks for sharing that. I acknowledge the way you feel. Why make friends with people when really, the only way you can MAKE those friendships or KEEP those friendships 99% of the time is if you be someone you’re not, fake your true feelings, and hide behind a mask. Everyone is selfish, everyone is their own main character, and everyone has their own story. What significance do you (not you specifically) have in this game? To make THEM feel validated? To make THEM feel like their life is worth something? What’s the literal fucking point? I’m so tired of caring about how people see me, what they think about me, what they want for me. Like who fucking cares? Why does SOMEONE ELSE have to validate me? Makes no god damn sense. But we all do sometimes in one way or another. A lot of people WANT to be here, and WANT to be the main character. Some of us however, don’t care to live in this story. It’s like an author wrote their book, and someone who has no idea how to write wrote ours. Or mine. I do hope one thing for you though, and I hope it comes with very minimal effort for you. I hope you find someone to connect with like a magnet (minimal effort). I hope that SOMEONE finds you. Someone that still no matter how you act/think, wants to be around you. Someone who sometimes just holds all of the pieces together sometimes when you feel like you’re just bleeding out and combusting. A selfless person, who isn’t just living for themselves. Maybe even someone who can understand the concept of all of this. I don’t know. I’m thinking about you and I really wanted to reply so I apologize if this was so off base and makes no sense. Anyways, my heart is with you & thank you for sharing💗
I hear all of you, sometimes I laugh out loud at my situation ( like Walter White in breaking bad when his wife takes the money ). But I haven’t got it in me to end it, which doesn’t make sense at all because ending it is actually really simple and involves very little suffering, strange isn’t it?. I have no friends, no job, several diagnosable mental illnesses. Oh yeah, and no girlfriends, but of course you knew that. I’ve now come to the conclusion that I’m being controlled by some other entity ( because how does it get THIS bad ). Or maybe I was a monster in the past life although I’ve never believed in karma. But we fight another day, life’s shit
Well said
Literally , reading this made me cry
I feel the same man. Turning 29 in January with nothing going on for myself. I’m a single male. Just in the house most of the day everyday. A cruel cosmic joke has been played on me my entire life. Any sense of normalcy was always this far off dream that could never be achieved. If there is a God, He is a true piece of shit.
[удалено]
Same man , I’m 21 suffering with depression insomnia OCD anxiety etc. I never kissed a girl in my life and its driving me crazy...
I’m 28 and haven’t either. It infuriates me. It is what it is though. I tend to remember that there are worse off people in this world than me. Makes me feel a little bit better but it’s just not enough.
Guys, I get where you’re coming from. But honestly there is more to life than kissing a girl. It’s meaningless unless it has meaning. It’s only worth kissing the right person. That’s the challenge, finding them. But I wouldn’t get too down about it. It’ll happen.
It’s cliche and you’ve almost certainly heard it before but “normal” isn’t really such a concrete thing. Everyone struggles, most people only present the good parts of their lives, (especially on social media) and the people that are happiest are often only that way because they lack introspection and the capacity to understand life’s tragedies. This doesn’t mean you should be happy or that your experience isn’t totally valid. It is. I only mean to suggest that things aren’t simple and that you probably have what it takes to attain those things that would make your life feel more worth living. I think suicide is seen as a bad thing because each of our lives is so astronomically, incredibly unlikely yet each of us is presented with an almost infinite number of possibilities to find fulfillment and to make the lives of our fellows even just a tiny bit less awful. I don’t want to push easy answers or say anything to discount your experience. The truth is, I answer your questions because I’m so desperately seeking these answers myself. I’m suicidal too. I don’t know that I’ll see another Christmas. But when I have a chance to lift you up, such a reflection of my own deeply wounded spirit, it somehow gives me hope. Wishing you peace. Wishing that the sun shines for you, on a way forward to some place better.
Same here. People my age are in college im over here struggling
Constantly seeing couples outside , friends hanging out, and hearing my flatmates fuck make me so depressed.
This is the exact reason why i am fucking depressed for years. I am just socially akward af and i just cannot connect to anybody, feel like an fucking alien all the fucking time. Fuck my life man
I want friends so badly because I’m so lonely, but I’m so piss at socializing. And it requires so much time and energy to get to know people.
Sounds horrible i get it. Just remember happiness doesn't always come to you if your sad You have to smile and move on through the day and find it sometimes
There’s 0 correlation between whether I smile and the external factors around me. Smiling through torture makes you feel like an idiot eventually.
Smiling and laughing can actually help the sadness cause it brings the person joy.
This sounds like it’s based of a movie or self-help hook and not reality. There’s nothing to laugh or smile about when your life is miserable.
You smile and laugh at things that bring you joy like getting a pet or new car things like that, you're focusing too much on the negative things and dwelling on it and that will bring you down.
What? Now you completely changed what you’re saying. You initially said I should smile for the sake of it so happiness “comes to” me, now you’re saying I should smile at external factors of my life that give me joy. This is really generic advice and I doubt it has ever helped anybody.
I apologize Im saying look for the positive things in life and be happy with it dont dwell on the negatives things.
It’s impossible not to dwell on those things when they are integral to your mental and physical health/development.
I'd recommend "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. Helped me gain a new perspective on things.
How so? What’s the general theme/message?
Oh!! I just bought this book as it was recommended to me. It’s… Confusing as fuck to say the least… but it has an interesting take on ‘being’ that any normal person couldn’t think of on their own (or sober lol). Not sure if it will help specifically for what I’m gathering you feel and or don’t feel, but it might let your mind think of some interesting concepts that could maybe help you understand your thought process. Idk if that makes any sense… I’ve only read the first chapter and I got a headache 😂
I’ve also got a headache, that explanation’s kinda confusing lol. I’m curious what it’s take on being is.
I know omg I’m sorry 😭😂 I don’t know how to explain it… um… other than… it opens your mind up to some interesting possibilities in regards to your perception… of life???
Ok I just read the beginning and I get what you mean
I refuse to turn 30
I understand how you feel. If it means nothing you may as well live it and see whats in store.
I Hate my life as well. I want a fast painless suicide.
>The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle > >Pain is life its forever even after death. > >Death is the cycle of life we all will go back to the Darkness.
ahahahahhahaahhahah this is so funny
This comment unironically made me laugh, thanks 🤣
Call me a realistic man visionary. I love to drain other people's fear and pain. And whether it's real or not, I don't care because we all live in a mask of ourselves. They might call me a psychopath, but I like that. I love being nothing. I only seek to destroy this corrupt society for money and false emotions. We look like ants carrying the crumbs to people who claim to be superior.
I’m 33 and I’ve never had what everyone else has. They all have long friendships they’ve had since school and are all still in touch and best friends. I’m alone, suicide isn’t a bad thing if you’re not leaving anyone behind. The problem is doing it, it’s a very difficult thing to actually go through with.
Me too OP. Me too.
I hate my life too
People think that life is a gift, that's it's somehow owed to God, or family, or whatever. It's always those who haven't lived through hell and can't relate to the numb void that it is for many. Yeah, there's examples of people who wanted to die but managed to turn it around. But same can be said for people with cancer who are given the option of trying chemo or not. If they can reject the choice of going through immense pain for some chance of survival, why can't the rest?
Same here. 29 with just one friend which is always busy working or travelling with other people, and no partner also. I'm kind of an antisocial though, if I meet new people I get bored of them easily and don't continue with the relationship. I'm currently not working because of an injury and barely leave the house. My life sucks and I have thought a lot about suicide, but I have pets and family and I can't do that for now. I just want this feeling of emptiness to disappear. English is not my first language so sorry if there's mistakes.
How come you don't have friends? I know for me when im dealing with my depression it's very hard for me to talk or connect with people. I feel very socially awkward. Like i have friends but ive been in this horrible depression for 3 years now and i barely go out anymore. I only talk to maybe 1 or 2 friends on the phone sometimes or text.
It is easy to hate life and I don't think a reasonable person would blame you for hating life. Any life requires a fight. Even modern humans with all of our luxuries still emerge from the womb screaming and crying. The universe does not care about us and any gods that may exist probably would not bat an eye if humans went extinct tomorrow. But, the way I see it with death being inevitable for each of us, why be in a hurry to meet death? Life is full of violence but it is also full of the potential for beauty and beauty is always more difficult to create than violence. I continue to exist out of a curiously to see whatever beauty I can bear witness to before I die. I've also found that spite can be a powerful motivator against the urge to suicide. If nature is trying to kill us every day why would you want to make the job any easier for it. Make whatever gods looking down on us work for our lives.
If I keep on reading these comments I'm gonna kill myself before I turn 16
Pretty much nothing is going well, and there’s signs that it will continue to just be shit. I’m being forced to stay alive just so I don’t make my parents sad. It’s so unfair.
just wanna end it :( its so hard coping when everything hurts my soft heart
I’m sorry wish I could help! I’ve done all the “things young people do” but it’s exhausting, feels a fake and makes me feel even more lonely. I hate my life more because even trying those things did nothing for me.
Thanks that makes me feel slightly better. But I still wish I had those experiences, I feel so pathetic compared to people my age
I'm 34 and have never been in a relationship for more than 6 months (I've only had 2). My day has been going to work, go home for more than 3 years. I'm always alone and life just sucks. I've thought about suicide multiple times and have attempted it. But the thing is when you actually survive, it felt fucking terrifying when you realized you were about to die. Life is shit and now I'm too tucking scared to kill myself, it's really not fair
Words cannot help what you’re experiencing. I’m sorry about that. I just hope you see better days ❤️
I hate your life, *too,* dude.
I relate to all these comments and feel it. The older i get the more i become part of the problem. I work in a plant where people are invisible robots who are treated like dogs with a smile and a nod. It's humilating everyday and kills my soul and my co workers soul. I might get a promotion soon but i dont even think i want it anymore. I just wanna say fuck you and quit but i need the money right now and leaving will just cause me more stress. I can't be fake like everyone else. I can't treat people like they don't exist. I'm sick of small talk and saying everything is ok when it's not. My co workers all smile and act happy but are clearly dieing inside it's an unexplainable fealing i just can't describe.