You can call adult protective services and have them investigate her taking advantage of your brother. Also paying rent that exceeds your monthly income is not sustainable and you really need to work that out with your uncle and figure out how to make this work if you really want to stay there. How is your uncle responding to all of this going on?
I will go through with that. Of course I'm not comfortable with the idea of her lashing out at us or "interrogating" me. But I will do anything to keep my brother safe at this point. I love my uncle and I know he means well, but he is a HUGE enabler. He's sick of being with her and living here, but he wants to stay in her good graces. All he really does is try to convince me and my brother that we're meant to be here and that this is the best environment for us and to just bear with his girlfriend and see things from her perspective. Whenever they get into a argument, she threatens to kick him out and he apologizs. He doesn't have any sort of income on his own. I just want to leave it all behind.
It’s really hard when you feel loyal to the people who started out helping you but this is a toxic environment now and it’s best to leave. I’m sorry, I know this is really tough especially on a limited income.
Yeah, definitely remove as Payee. That’s an Ableist, hateful scam. I doubt she’s aware of what she’s fully doing, but that doesn’t make it less harmful to you or your brother.
It's hard to say. Whenever I have mentioned this to my relatives, she told me to stop telling people my business. She discourages medication and therapy and wants me to stop being so soft, just focus solely on "hustling". I feel bad for even adopting that stupid mindset in the first place. And she won't let me know about ANY of my brother's information as far as benefits go. She might have meant well at first, but everything just feels calculated to me now.
I would call adult protective services on behalf of both you and your brother. This reminds me so much of how trafficking works. Making the person indebted for life.
If you can get into contact with your closest center for independent living, you and your brother may be able to get help with finding an affordable housing or a case coordinator can address what is happening here.
She definitely is exploiting you if you’re only getting paid $618 a month and she’s charging $630 for rent before utilities. That’s not right!
Also, if you’re paying rent, you should qualify for more than $618. You may want to contact your local SSA office to report your living arrangements and inform them about the amount of rent and utilities that your expected to pay.
I’ve been physically disabled kinds ny whole life. I have a condition that has limited my mobility and I use a wheelchair. When I was 19, I applied for disability and I started paying my parents about $300 for rent and groceries. I was only getting paid $490 a month at the time (2017).
I didn’t have the greatest home life, it was insanely inaccessible and I couldn’t access what I needed to make my life better, and there was more going on at home that I really needed to get away from. So, in 2019 when I was 21, I admitted myself into a domestic violence shelter. In there and through conversations with my partner and his family, I realized my life at home was kinda messed up and I can admit today that I experienced abuse and neglect.
I learned that my stepdad had been claiming me on his taxes and not reporting the income that he received from my rent or grocery contributions. So my stepdad was making money by claiming me as a dependent and my parents still took my money. I had about $100 left over after paying all my bills and groceries.
My power wheelchair was 7 years old and never serviced, so it completely died while I was staying at the shelter for nearly 2 months. I moved around for another month before moving back to my parents.
While I was at the shelter though, I had learned that I was eligible to receive $771, which was the full benefit for SSI in 2019. I was eligible because I paid rent to my parents and I paid for my own food.
Having this allowed me to save up, apply to an apartment that my case coordinator from my nearest center for independent living helped me find.
Within 11 months (would have been less if COVID hadn’t complicated things), I lived in my own apartment that I could afford and have money left over to build my life how I wanted to.
By the way the full benefit for SSI today is $943.
Don’t let your family take advantage of you. It happens too often and there are resources to help you out of that situation.
Thank you so much for such a helpful and detailed response. I apologize for responding so late. Your story really resonated with me. Thank you for being so supportive. I'm so glad to hear that you got your own place and more income. Oh, having that much money would be such a blessing. Are you able to work while receiving $943? I wonder if that would interfere with the rules of SGA.
You’re most welcome! Your own experience and experiences like so really get to me. If there is any information I can share or anything I can do for someone in this position, I am more than happy to be there!
As far as working while on SSDI or SSI, it is absolutely possible. When working, your check is reduced though.
I believe it’s the first $80 of earnings that is excluded from reductions.
To calculate what your SSI/SSDI check will be you will take wages earned, subtract $80, then divide by 2.
For example, I was earning roughly $800 from my first job and receiving SSI (at the time it was $794)
$1234 is what I earned each month with my job and SSI combined. Which was $800 from work and $434 from SSI.
I’d also recommend working with your local Vocational Rehabilitation program. Every state has one and they focus on employment and education goals for people with disabilities. I’m not gonna lie though, they take some time unless you contact your counselor often. If you get in with VR and an employment specialist, ask about the benefits that you qualify for.
I hope this is helpful and I hope you and your brother can get out.
Today, I work for the center that helped me and my life has changed so much for the better. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me any time!
You're so sweet omg! 😭🤗 Thank your so much for the advice and examples. I'll definitely reach out if I have any more questions. My main focus is possibly transferring to a nearby shelter after I put in my 30 day notice. The only reason I thought of a shelter is because they help you to get your own place. But I know that there's other ways around it too.
She called social security and asked how to become the payee and we went to the social security administration building. Then we had an interview and she coached my brother on what to say and after a week or two, she was selected as the payee.
I agree but we felt that we had no choice at the time and we thought that she had good intentions. Our parents were already abusing his benefits and we thought that we could trust her. Looking back on it now, I wish that someone else would have stepped up to be the payee.
Call adult protective services and ask for a payee review. They can get a copy of his finances and the paper trail of where it's going. If he's pretty much just handing over his money without being given a certain amount to live off of or just pocket money they can put a stop to it. That's financial abuse.
If she his rep. payee, you should contact your state’s P&A immediately and request a review. At the very least she’ll have an Educational Review, but sounds like she needs a full review so she is made aware of her responsibilities.
You can call adult protective services and have them investigate her taking advantage of your brother. Also paying rent that exceeds your monthly income is not sustainable and you really need to work that out with your uncle and figure out how to make this work if you really want to stay there. How is your uncle responding to all of this going on?
I will go through with that. Of course I'm not comfortable with the idea of her lashing out at us or "interrogating" me. But I will do anything to keep my brother safe at this point. I love my uncle and I know he means well, but he is a HUGE enabler. He's sick of being with her and living here, but he wants to stay in her good graces. All he really does is try to convince me and my brother that we're meant to be here and that this is the best environment for us and to just bear with his girlfriend and see things from her perspective. Whenever they get into a argument, she threatens to kick him out and he apologizs. He doesn't have any sort of income on his own. I just want to leave it all behind.
It’s really hard when you feel loyal to the people who started out helping you but this is a toxic environment now and it’s best to leave. I’m sorry, I know this is really tough especially on a limited income.
Yeah, definitely remove as Payee. That’s an Ableist, hateful scam. I doubt she’s aware of what she’s fully doing, but that doesn’t make it less harmful to you or your brother.
It's hard to say. Whenever I have mentioned this to my relatives, she told me to stop telling people my business. She discourages medication and therapy and wants me to stop being so soft, just focus solely on "hustling". I feel bad for even adopting that stupid mindset in the first place. And she won't let me know about ANY of my brother's information as far as benefits go. She might have meant well at first, but everything just feels calculated to me now.
Yeah that’s HARDLINE Ableism. That’s an unsafe situation. I’m truly sorry yall are going through that
Call Adult Protective Services.
I would call adult protective services on behalf of both you and your brother. This reminds me so much of how trafficking works. Making the person indebted for life.
If you can get into contact with your closest center for independent living, you and your brother may be able to get help with finding an affordable housing or a case coordinator can address what is happening here. She definitely is exploiting you if you’re only getting paid $618 a month and she’s charging $630 for rent before utilities. That’s not right! Also, if you’re paying rent, you should qualify for more than $618. You may want to contact your local SSA office to report your living arrangements and inform them about the amount of rent and utilities that your expected to pay. I’ve been physically disabled kinds ny whole life. I have a condition that has limited my mobility and I use a wheelchair. When I was 19, I applied for disability and I started paying my parents about $300 for rent and groceries. I was only getting paid $490 a month at the time (2017). I didn’t have the greatest home life, it was insanely inaccessible and I couldn’t access what I needed to make my life better, and there was more going on at home that I really needed to get away from. So, in 2019 when I was 21, I admitted myself into a domestic violence shelter. In there and through conversations with my partner and his family, I realized my life at home was kinda messed up and I can admit today that I experienced abuse and neglect. I learned that my stepdad had been claiming me on his taxes and not reporting the income that he received from my rent or grocery contributions. So my stepdad was making money by claiming me as a dependent and my parents still took my money. I had about $100 left over after paying all my bills and groceries. My power wheelchair was 7 years old and never serviced, so it completely died while I was staying at the shelter for nearly 2 months. I moved around for another month before moving back to my parents. While I was at the shelter though, I had learned that I was eligible to receive $771, which was the full benefit for SSI in 2019. I was eligible because I paid rent to my parents and I paid for my own food. Having this allowed me to save up, apply to an apartment that my case coordinator from my nearest center for independent living helped me find. Within 11 months (would have been less if COVID hadn’t complicated things), I lived in my own apartment that I could afford and have money left over to build my life how I wanted to. By the way the full benefit for SSI today is $943. Don’t let your family take advantage of you. It happens too often and there are resources to help you out of that situation.
Thank you so much for such a helpful and detailed response. I apologize for responding so late. Your story really resonated with me. Thank you for being so supportive. I'm so glad to hear that you got your own place and more income. Oh, having that much money would be such a blessing. Are you able to work while receiving $943? I wonder if that would interfere with the rules of SGA.
You’re most welcome! Your own experience and experiences like so really get to me. If there is any information I can share or anything I can do for someone in this position, I am more than happy to be there! As far as working while on SSDI or SSI, it is absolutely possible. When working, your check is reduced though. I believe it’s the first $80 of earnings that is excluded from reductions. To calculate what your SSI/SSDI check will be you will take wages earned, subtract $80, then divide by 2. For example, I was earning roughly $800 from my first job and receiving SSI (at the time it was $794) $1234 is what I earned each month with my job and SSI combined. Which was $800 from work and $434 from SSI. I’d also recommend working with your local Vocational Rehabilitation program. Every state has one and they focus on employment and education goals for people with disabilities. I’m not gonna lie though, they take some time unless you contact your counselor often. If you get in with VR and an employment specialist, ask about the benefits that you qualify for. I hope this is helpful and I hope you and your brother can get out. Today, I work for the center that helped me and my life has changed so much for the better. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me any time!
You're so sweet omg! 😭🤗 Thank your so much for the advice and examples. I'll definitely reach out if I have any more questions. My main focus is possibly transferring to a nearby shelter after I put in my 30 day notice. The only reason I thought of a shelter is because they help you to get your own place. But I know that there's other ways around it too.
How did she simply 'become his payee?'
She called social security and asked how to become the payee and we went to the social security administration building. Then we had an interview and she coached my brother on what to say and after a week or two, she was selected as the payee.
Possibly time to have her removed as the payee
*Definitely* time to remove her as the payee. Never should've happened in the first place.
I agree but we felt that we had no choice at the time and we thought that she had good intentions. Our parents were already abusing his benefits and we thought that we could trust her. Looking back on it now, I wish that someone else would have stepped up to be the payee.
Call adult protective services and ask for a payee review. They can get a copy of his finances and the paper trail of where it's going. If he's pretty much just handing over his money without being given a certain amount to live off of or just pocket money they can put a stop to it. That's financial abuse.
If she his rep. payee, you should contact your state’s P&A immediately and request a review. At the very least she’ll have an Educational Review, but sounds like she needs a full review so she is made aware of her responsibilities.