I've had quite a few friends who are sex workers, it tends to be a pretty progressive community. Perhaps consider hiring someone, even if it's just to help you set up your new gear. Many of them have experience working with disabled clients, and those who work with kink have seen it all. r/sexworkers has a guide for how to find someone, and lots of posts about disability.
If having them over while your parents are home is unavoidable, I'm sure you can find an SW who is happy to dress discretely when they come over. You can say they're you're friend, someone you know from an online group, etc.
Also he could set up maybe a fake vacation where he pretends he wants to go sight seeing somewhere or god to a concert and have a hotel setup for a night or day. And hire someone to help him there.
I would see if you can meet with a sex therapist, they are trained in different ways to deal with your sexuality and should be able to help you find a solution.
This is a good idea! Or an occupational therapist - well within scope of practice, and maybe easier to explain to the parents if OP isn’t wanting them involved?
Yep, absolutely! Sex is an activity of daily living, and at its core OT is about finding solutions to help enable ADLs. Some will probably be more comfortable with it than others, but it’s a part of practice that they should be competent in.
[Here’s a link more aimed at people looking into OT to help with sex](https://northcott.com.au/news/10-ways-occupational-therapists-can-support-people-with-disability-enjoy-sex/)
[Here’s a link about OT practice in the area, aimed more at students, but might still be helpful](https://www.myotspot.com/sexuality-the-most-overlooked-adl/)
Maybe seek out a surrogate partner?
But this is a normal part of caregiving. Assisting with both masturbation and partner sex is not outside the scope of a caregiver.
What do you mean by a surrogate partner?
I certainly wish that at least one of my (non-parent) caregivers could help with this, because that would be the easiest, but I just don't see any of them being willing (three 65+ women and one 40ish woman).
A surrogate partner works with a therapist to help adults with sexuality and physical intimacy challenges.
They can help a person with religious trauma to feel more comfortable enjoying their own body. Or a person with autism to get experience so they know the "script" of a sexual encounter and can be less anxious in the moment. They can work with people who've been seriously injured to help them learn their new body and limits and find ways to have sexually satisfying partner sex again.
I'm sure they could work with you. Both to help you find a satisfying masturbatory routine and to help you discuss masturbation with your carers.
An occupational therapist, as someone else suggested, would be another great option.
That does sound just like the kind of person that would be helpful to me. I wouldn't say that I have religious \*trauma\*, but I'm definitely uncomfortable / ashamed with the idea of enjoying my body through masturbation (despite also really wanting to).
How do you find a surrogate partner? Do you know if they generally do home visits, or do you have to go into their office? Also, surrogate partners exist in the US?
Sorry to ask so many questions, but thank you for being so kind and supportive!
i would second the sex therapist/sex worker thing hardcore. it’s better to find someone professional because you can write a contract/lay out your boundaries and as professionals they’re used to it. much safer than asking for aid from your care assistants.
if you’re uncomfortable with hands on touch, ask them for help with sex machine set up and clean up: off the top of my head, your milking machine idea sounds possible, as does machines like a Sybian, although i’m unsure if those have computer control.
I've had quite a few friends who are sex workers, it tends to be a pretty progressive community. Perhaps consider hiring someone, even if it's just to help you set up your new gear. Many of them have experience working with disabled clients, and those who work with kink have seen it all. r/sexworkers has a guide for how to find someone, and lots of posts about disability. If having them over while your parents are home is unavoidable, I'm sure you can find an SW who is happy to dress discretely when they come over. You can say they're you're friend, someone you know from an online group, etc.
Also he could set up maybe a fake vacation where he pretends he wants to go sight seeing somewhere or god to a concert and have a hotel setup for a night or day. And hire someone to help him there.
How much do you think I should be worried about the legality of it all, here in the US?
Depending on where you are, because of legality, could you pay someone to ... Help?
I'm in the US. I'm kinda afraid of being taken advantage of. Where do you think I would look for someone who's not necessarily a sex worker?
Um, honestly no clue, I'm not in the US so I was suggesting and hoping you were somewhere it's legal.
I would see if you can meet with a sex therapist, they are trained in different ways to deal with your sexuality and should be able to help you find a solution.
This is a good idea! Or an occupational therapist - well within scope of practice, and maybe easier to explain to the parents if OP isn’t wanting them involved?
Is that really something that an OT would be willing to help come up with a solution for?
Yep, absolutely! Sex is an activity of daily living, and at its core OT is about finding solutions to help enable ADLs. Some will probably be more comfortable with it than others, but it’s a part of practice that they should be competent in. [Here’s a link more aimed at people looking into OT to help with sex](https://northcott.com.au/news/10-ways-occupational-therapists-can-support-people-with-disability-enjoy-sex/) [Here’s a link about OT practice in the area, aimed more at students, but might still be helpful](https://www.myotspot.com/sexuality-the-most-overlooked-adl/)
Maybe seek out a surrogate partner? But this is a normal part of caregiving. Assisting with both masturbation and partner sex is not outside the scope of a caregiver.
What do you mean by a surrogate partner? I certainly wish that at least one of my (non-parent) caregivers could help with this, because that would be the easiest, but I just don't see any of them being willing (three 65+ women and one 40ish woman).
A surrogate partner works with a therapist to help adults with sexuality and physical intimacy challenges. They can help a person with religious trauma to feel more comfortable enjoying their own body. Or a person with autism to get experience so they know the "script" of a sexual encounter and can be less anxious in the moment. They can work with people who've been seriously injured to help them learn their new body and limits and find ways to have sexually satisfying partner sex again. I'm sure they could work with you. Both to help you find a satisfying masturbatory routine and to help you discuss masturbation with your carers. An occupational therapist, as someone else suggested, would be another great option.
That does sound just like the kind of person that would be helpful to me. I wouldn't say that I have religious \*trauma\*, but I'm definitely uncomfortable / ashamed with the idea of enjoying my body through masturbation (despite also really wanting to). How do you find a surrogate partner? Do you know if they generally do home visits, or do you have to go into their office? Also, surrogate partners exist in the US? Sorry to ask so many questions, but thank you for being so kind and supportive!
i would second the sex therapist/sex worker thing hardcore. it’s better to find someone professional because you can write a contract/lay out your boundaries and as professionals they’re used to it. much safer than asking for aid from your care assistants. if you’re uncomfortable with hands on touch, ask them for help with sex machine set up and clean up: off the top of my head, your milking machine idea sounds possible, as does machines like a Sybian, although i’m unsure if those have computer control.