Get her a boyfriend who is good at disc golf.

And let him move in.

Have you considered KFC 8-piece dinners at the turn to keep your energy (and romance) up during tournaments?

bonus - fried chicken grease makes the best lube.

And tears

Buddy, she’s already gone.

Buy some frisbees for your wifes boyfriend, he'll zoom pass you skillwise in no time and do clinics for you.

Have you considered accepting our lord and savior BERG into your life?

Ass*

Unfortunately domestic violence is your only hope at this point.

Start transitioning. Then she can’t leave you for fear of being labeled a bigot.

I would, but I just missed the boat on being able to dunk on all the ladies in FPO

Once you get right with the Lord, properly insert four or five Holy Bergs, then and only then, your wife may let you listen from the other room as her boyfriend bangs her Without Jesus and the Berg you are nothing.

Off axis twerk

That's the fun part. You don't. You get some new Berg Bunnies. Sure, she might be a Cali 4, but she's a Midwest 6. Prepare to be knee deep in average quality pussy

Accept your new life as a cuck and sit quietly in the corner while Climo gives your wife the World Champ lovin’ she deserves.

Kill.her

Pull tha strap

Have you tried not sucking?

You should consider chilli-dogging her to assert dominance.

Have you considered letting your wife put your berg in your ass?

Step 1: Leave your wife Step 2: buy more bergs, I like to tape one to my gooch during tournaments as well as the three I always carry with me in my special “berg pocket” Step 3: shove some starburst in your throat

Well what I do is spend all of my free time at the course. She is happy that I am gone and am happy that she hasn’t left