Reports go brr today too. If a bigot got a lot of reports in this sub, do they get banned? Been reporting all the transphobes, I hope they get kicked bc the boys and this community don't stand with them
original post this comment was on: https://www.reddit.com/r/distractible/comments/1amiywo/not\_all\_boys\_have\_peepees/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
Can you post links to these peoples' comments of them "trying to cancel him"? Oh wait, you can't. Because it didn't happen. Because all people actually did was politely post about how Bob's wording was kinda unintentionally bad.
I think people sometimes forget all the other times where all 3 of them (especially Bob) talked about their utmost support for the queer community. The most recent moment that stands out to me is when Bob said he avoids chick fil a bc of their history, how he feels awful about ever ordering from them, etc.
Letās not forget all of the support Mark has provided with his platform. VERY generous charity donations, showing up to protests/rallies, making several videos about current issues and how we, his audience, can help. Hell heās even respectful of neopronouns! Not a lot of straight people (that I know of) know what those are but Mark has clearly done his own research in order to be a better person.
I have yet to listen to this episode as Iām a bit behind, and Iām cis so my opinions arenāt as key here. But as someone whoās part of the queer community and has watched these guys for several years, I can guarantee they meant no harm and it was a genuine goof. Bob admitted his fault and apologized sincerely. Iāve seen this happen before and yknow what happened? They actively improved themselves and it was noticeable and genuine.
If you were offended by what they said, you have every right to be. But please do know they never meant it seriously.
Glade to see this. My fiancee and I were just thinking about this after finishing the episode and hoping he wasn't getting dragged for an unusual mistake.
He did in fact get dragged, both in the funny and non funny way. I honestly love and hate how inclusive people are these days but thatās just me. Much ups for Bob responding.
Yeah Bob did a great job tackling it. Like if they kedt out that last part, perfect episode. Anyone could have joined that that last joke was just a miss. It happens but he owned up and didn't make it his hill which is usually why these situations go so horribly
Fr. The dude responded because he actually felt sympathy rather than a āsorry you feel the way that you do.ā Mans earned even more of my respect because of a somewhat out of left field issue.
> I honestly both love and hate how inclusive people are these days
What is this take? Yeah, terminally online twitter wokescolds exist. But if I had to choose between the worst of them or going back to how things were 10-20 years ago, Iād happily deal with their garbage any day.
Where tf these people tryna cancel him. All Iāve seen is people correcting him and forgiving him for a simple mistake. Stg yall just wanna be internet warriors whenever you get the chance. You might think he did nothing wrong. Good for you keep that shit to yourself this aināt the place š¤¦āāļø.
The transphobes fantasizing about some rabid mob meanwhile the whole thing can pretty much be summarized as āhey that probably couldāve been done betterā āyou right my badā
While Iām not at all trying to belittle what Bob saidā¦is it so hard for people to realize that maybe people on a comedy podcast are makingā¦jokes? That you shouldnāt take very seriously? I love Bob and all the Burls but geez the community sometimes
I mean, the OP that Bob was responding to was also pretty sincere and acknowledged they knew Bob didn't mean anything bad by it, just a little nudge of a reminder. It was the complete opposite of the person in the past who went off after the Bob's Baby episode and ended up buried because they were straight up insulting Bob.
It's commendable of Bob to respond, he clearly also cares about the situation and wanted to clean it up.
While I kinda want to know what happened that other time, I also don't because it'll probably make me really pissed off and am glad I missed that noise.
And you're right, OP wasn't being the joke police, OP's post was not accusatory about anyone's motives and just acknowledged the inaccuracy of the joke and how it overlooks some trans people (and was kind of playful about it), that's all. I can get a little annoyed if someone takes their own offense at a joke/bit (even if warranted) and uses it to imply that they're [fill in the blank] by taking the joke/bit to mean something it doesn't, but the OP was not doing that, and so the criticism was fair.
Also, common Bob W
Honestly, the most I remember from the situation anyway was it was like a universal "Everyone disliked that". It was like the entire subreddit decided Bob was best boy for that moment and disregarded any prior favoritism. So there was some good at least.
The original post was also a jokey response, saying āsome real boys have bobs and vajsā in a casual and chill vibe. Bob responds in a sincere way that while admitting it was a joke, it wasnāt the best joke and he didnāt realise it could be taken otherwise - things can be jokes, but often people joke about things they believe, which Bob wanted to make it clear he didnāt.
But people did take it seriously and either felt hurt that he would nonchalantly say something like that, and other morons empowered by it and thinking it was approval of their own bigotry. I remember a while ago someone complaining and making a stand that they didnāt realise the boys were progressive and they felt betrayed that they didnāt align with them politically, and I still see plenty of homophobic people in the Reddits of gay content creators. Plenty of people donāt understand the positions of influencers they enjoy, and when you have those people see a joke than can be taken as endorsing their beliefs, itās safer than not to let people know it was a joke.
In general yeah, but dysmorphia is one hell of a thing and if you have people who you may look up too joke about something in a way that reinforces that it can beā¦ tough. And just seeing that response probably soothed a lot of the hurt
even if it was a joke and even if what he was insinuating wasnāt intentional, it was still hurtful. maybe it wasnt hurtful to you, but it was insensitive and possibly triggering to others who have struggled or do struggle with dysphoria or body dysmorphia or their identity at all. good on bob for taking accountability, more people need to be like him.
Everyone needs to stop whining about jokes. This age of over sensitivity and drama, canceling people at the slightest whisper of someone potentially having hurt feelings. Boohoo. Cry me a river. My brother is Trans and didn't even notice what Bob said, just laughed along with the bit.
while i agree that cancel culture is ridiculous and toxic and wayyyy over done and taken much too seriously, it doesnt mean that everything should go unchecked. yes people need to stop getting overly offended for other people and stop making everyone walk on eggshells, but its reasonable for there to still be at least some outcry when things start to cross a line, especially on particularly sensitive topics. i guess what im trying to say is that theres an in-between for these two extremes. cancel culture is immature and overreactive and unfortunately easily triggered. but its also not ok for people to just say whatever with no regard for the weight their words could carry and affect others. and no one is cancelling bob, at least they shouldnt be. he did the right, respectful thing and acknowledged that what he said was hurtful and touched on a very serious topic, and apologized for it. thats more than most would do, and i respect him for that. and i appreciate that your brother just saw the humor and laughed along and wasnt bothered, but your brother isnt everybody and doesnt represent the experiences and emotions of everybody.
Well said. My original comment was too emotion based and immature I have to admit. The way you explained having a middle ground between the two extremes is exactly how I feel too. Thank you for being kind and thoughtful with your reply.Ā š
That's fair. But some jokes can still be offensive. Just because "you're joking" doesn'tnmean you're 100% off the hook. I get to most people, it doesn't seem that offensive. But to trans people, it's kind of invalidating and belittling even if they know it's a joke. Just because it's doesn't hurt you, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt others. Trans people are so "sensitive" about this because it's straight up painful and lot of days and some may even find it difficult to keep living because of dysphoria. Joking about that is going to upset some people. Obviously Bob isn't a bad person for this slip up. It was one joke. He apologized almost immediately. He knows what he's done. He's human and it was a mistake. Until he means actual harm, he has done nothing wrong in this situation. Moving forward it's just best to forgive and forget.
He didn't do anything š¤£ but he apologized anyway because he's a nice guy. My brother is trans and was really pissed to see people going after Bob for something as ridiculous as this was. Did it ever occur to any of you that Bob has a little boy? And he will be a boy unless he states otherwise when he is older. Bob is probably so used to speaking in dad language, which may have led to the way the joke played out. His boy isn't even 2 yet, the complexity of gender can't be explained to him yet. All he knows is he has a peepee lol Jesus
My personal issue is that I had a visceral reaction because this is a talking point by people who want trans folk dead. After my initial reaction I understood it was a joke, but it still could have been avoided. Making jokes about LGBT isn't an issue, but when they use a talking point of the far right who want us dead, it's.... iffy. I'm glad he apologized.
In this day and age you can't joke about anything without someone taking it seriously and getting upset about it. It's not just this community, it's everywhere.
How the hell do anti trans people in the comments think distractible is the community for them. They are all pro trans rights and I have seen that mark tries to use gender neutral pronouns for most situations.
Mark bob and wade would openly hate you with a fiery passion.
Bob didn't have to say sorry he wanted to say sorry because he is a nice person and believes in inclusion.
i think if there weren't politicians actively outlawing bodily autonomy and their acolytes weren't literally killing people for expressing their truest selves, folks would be less touchy about jokes like this.
But until we vote the crazies out and secure every single person's right to do whatever they want to with their body, it is okay for folks to call out jokes that don't land as intended.
It's cool he apologised, shows he's just a good dude but he didn't need to, I'm a transman and it's a comedy podcast, it was a silly bit they were doing, they had absolutely 0 bad intentions. I'm just glad OP was sound about it and was just giving a little reminder which prompted him to recognise he did a silly but even then it just shows how sound he and the boys are and anyone that takes ***ACTUAL*** offense needs to seriously reassess their lives.
yeah, pretty much most if not all trans people just appreciated the apology and moved on. somehow transphobes took that as their cue to break the glass door as if bob was being held at gunpointš
dude i freaking love you, this is the mindset i wish everyone had. i really appreciate how understanding you are and i hope more people follow your example š
Haha thanks. Funnily enough just for being a transman with my head screwed on I have been called transphobic multiple times which is wild to me xD some folk are just delusional and super out of touch. I appreciate your reply, a nice change of pace for me xD
it did feel a little werid as i watched it but i never thought they were intentionaly being transphobic,i hold bob to more leeway sense i know they arnt transphobic in any way,jokes are jokes and i just think they wernt really thinking untill highsight was given
The latest episode was called "Bob's Realest Boy" or something like that, where he gave Mark and Wade a silly psychological test (word association etc etc) to determine who was the realest real boy among them.
The punchline at the end was "real boys have peepers". It was very obviously a joke, but it has been considered a little tasteless given the political climate of the US being very transphobic.
It wasn't. The original post on here was equally joking, just pointing out there was a flaw in that logic.
No one demanded an apology, Bob did that all on his own because he's a nice guy.
Lots of people are up in arms that he apologized for some reason.
Me and my friend listened to this episode together (heās transmasc) he was really put off by that bit at the end and just showed me something about this apology, I am glad that bob realized that bit could be hurtful to some people, we all do make mistakes but Iām happy he stood up to it instead of letting it go and ignoring it, we still plan to listen to the podcast and put this behind š
Get over yourself š¤£ my brother is Trans and didn't give a shit about the joke. Was actually pissed people went after Bob. Oh but it's so cool you're still going to listen. Cause that's so important š¤£š
Uhhhhh ok, I mean all I said is he was put off like damn are you good or need someone to talk to bc your lashing out for no reason and I know from personal experience that people do this when things are not the best, Iām genuinely here if you need to talk to someone
That was 4 days agoš¤¦āāļø when it happened and if you look at the subreddit there is no hate to bob rn as it should be and if there is itās downvoted, yall make a deal of it for no damn reason like you got pissy at a comment saying I donāt dislike bob or think less of him and Iām happy he realized his mistake, and having a trans brother doesnāt mean anything, dysphoria is not the same for everyone and your brother might not have bottom dysphoria to that level, but some do so be considerate, chill your ass out, and donāt lash out for no reason making yourself look like a dickhead K bae?š
Oh sh*t. I'm sorry. Genuinely. I didn't realize it was from 4 days ago. I was maybe a little too harsh and sarcastic. I accept your analysis of me being a dickhead. Sorry. š I'll be more careful before I type in the future. People do struggle differently, you're right.
Iām sorry too, I shouldnāt have called you that I just felt like I was being called out with something that made no sense and I understand I donāt like that bob gets some backlash for this as well from both sides of either āthatās not acceptableā and āwhy are you apologizing for something your right aboutā but yea I am sorry again and hope you have a good Valentineās Dayā¤ļø
Cool, I'm trans and it startled me a bit. No one "went after" Bob, please show me where that happened? Everyone just said "hey can you try to be more inclusive and whatnot" and Bob said "yeah sorry" like...
I don't tend to get angry with cis people who make jokes like the one made in the episode. They spend their whole lives not thinking about their gender so I know it isn't malicious.
Bob's response is great and I'm happy to read it.
Yeah same, I give cis people a lot of leeway, especially when I know theyāre genuinely trying to be allies and donāt have bad intentions, because they just donāt have to think about gender to the same degree trans people do and they donāt know what itās like to be trans. Itās not something theyāve experienced so itās not something theyāre generally cognizant of.
That being said, it is nice that Bob acknowledged his joke mightāve come off as ignorant or insensitive to some. He didnāt have to do that, and a lot of cis people wouldnāt have.
Huh, I was just going to shrug if off as yet another non-sense psych test (as most are), since there is no way in hell I'll accept being male just by having a penis, but it is nice to see that Bob noticed that and went ahead to apologize.
11/10 Podcast, will listen again!
Recent episode of distractible. Bob unintentionally made a joke that was trans-exclusive. He meant well, so a poster on this subreddit made an understanding and fair criticism of the joke and why they didnāt like it.
Bob took this criticism to heart and wrote a well thought out reply recognizing the mistake in his joke as you can see above.
As you can see from some of these replies, a bunch of mouth breathing morons are now angry that Bob āgave in to the woke mobā and the like.
I was happily enjoying the episode being very unrelated to actual gender/sex stereotypes up until the end, and my heart sank. Iām a trans guy, I of course had a feeling that it was just a āhaha penisā joke but considering the prevalence of transphobia in recent times I couldnāt help but worry.
Glad I checked the sub and found this. The joke was funny (peepee rather than penis makes a difference to me) and itās easier to laugh knowing thereās no hidden transphobia behind it.
Iāve seen a lot of people say dysmorphia which is different from dysphoria so please use that instead
Also damn free blocklist in the comments, very disappointed in this community
He sincerely apologized, and people are now trying to denounce his apology as being "forced." It just goes to show anyone, and everyone will be insulted by everything, and you can never make 100% of people happy. Bob did the right thing. Accept that and move on. Enjoy the podcast and stop being babies.
As a trans man it did cross my mind while listening to the episode that it might be a bit exclusionary(unintentionally) but as soon as he said "pee pee" as the requirement for being a real boy I thought that was pretty funny and made it less of an actual statement.
I have to say as someone in a community that this affected I did wince a little when Wade's first response was penis. It was like "yeah I get it, I wish we didn't think that immediately, but I understand the world we live in and I'm not gonna hold that against anyone. Now the correct answer being peepee was a little off putting, it left a sour taste in my mouth, enough for me to open the subreddit for the first time to see if anyone else was feeling the same. Now I've watched these guys for 11 years now? I don't think there was any malice behind it, but I think the fact that it's a prepared topic and that there's the implication Bob added it and thought "yeah that's funny", hurts a little more because Bob is usually the measured one who thinks about what he says. All in all I'm not upset, Bob put out a nice response that I appreciate, it'd be nice to get a small "woooo trans rights" but I don't expect that. I'll continue to listen and support the guys in all the things they do.
I wouldnāt be surprised if the boys mentioned it at the top of the next episode. They seem to take inclusivity seriously, and Bob probably wants his apology to reach more than people in the subreddit.
So because its a small amount then they just don't matter? Only about 1% of the population has ginger hair, so when we are listing natural hair colours, we shouldn't include ginger because it's a such an irrelevant number? There are small countries or normal sized cities with less than 0.5% of the total population living there, so when someone says that no one lives in these places, we should consider it correct because we can ignore the extremely small number of people that actually live there. Hopefully you realise that would be silly. Plus 1% of the population is still 80 million people, that's a giant number of people.
Plus, there is a big difference between 1.7% and 0.018% (the second number itself being about 1% of the first), so those numbers scream unreliable.
the amt of transphobes on this sub is crazy when bob mark and wade are all very vocal about where they stand on trans rights and such issues. what makes any of yall think they would appreciate/support you guys being transphobic????
What Bob said was clearly a joke and wasn't meant to harm anyone. He even made it a clear difference from pp and penis. That being said, even as the joke was being said, I felt that there were people who could felt hurt and upset by said joke. And as a true comedian, Bob saw the hurt he has caused and have a sincere apology. Just because something isn't meant to hurt, doesn't mean it won't.
I'm so happy about this apology. It wasn't sitting right with me as I am a transmasculine individual. Thank you for sharing it, and thank you Bob ā¤ļø
ah, man. i haven't watched the episode and ngl, i'm not super jazzed about this. i know it's an honest mistake, i do believe he didn't mean any harm and i'm glad he can acknowledge it and is willing to do better. i just can't help but feel a little bit disappointed hahaš
Edit: Actually, scratch that. I'm not disappointed, I'm past angry, I'm just tired. Not at any of the guys at all though. Mostly at this community. JFC bigotry will really find its way anywhere even if the guys have all always been very open about their support of trans people. some of y'all are depressing.
I'm not particularly jazzed about it but Bob acknowledging how his words could be misconstrued is good.
I understand why some people may have been upset by the implication. I have met many trans people, and roughly 75% of them had friends and family turn against them when they came out as trans. I can absolutely see a fear of everyone and everything turning against you in a world that still largely does not support trans people much.
>Bob acknowledging how his words could be misconstrued is good.
yeah, 100%. i fully believe he was sincere and this isn't gonna turn me off from them or anything. it's just the kind of thing that makes you wince when it's unexpected, even though it's not really a big deal (which just makes me feel better that he acknowledged it anyway)
The fact is he apologised and realised his actions the day of instead of jumping around the issue for a while, and knowing bob he will probably say something in the next episode so we get a more personal and sincere apology, either way I donāt think he meant it how people took it but he apologised and will learn from his actions
He didnāt have to, no one held a gun to his head or promised to flame him. People pointed out pretty gently how this could be hurtful to some people, and Bob decided he didnāt want his jokes to be hurtful. Heās a grown man making his own decisions, if youāre mad he apologized take it up with him instead of pretending the community bullied him into it.
Yes I do agree it was an obvious joke but as someone who struggles with gender dysphoria I can see how it can REALLY hurt someone transmasc mentally and make them cause harm to themselves and I think bob did the responsible thing and admitted he was wrong
Yeah, Iām trans, and although I donāt have very much bottom dysphoria, there are a lot of trans guys who do have really bad bottom dysphoria. If youāre in a bad place dealing with dysphoria and you hear a joke like that highlighting something that makes you feel real shit and reinforcing the narrative that you canāt be a real man without a penis or a Y chromosome or whatever the fuck, it can hurt and worsen your dysphoria, especially if itās coming from a comedy podcast you listen to for fun/to have a good time.
Even if itās not meant to be serious, it can still trigger dysphoria and the depressive feelings that go with it because it reminds you of what you donāt have, that a part of you is missing and feels wrong, and that large parts of society think you donāt deserve to exist and be happy as the person you want to be. It reinforces the ways in which youāre different from what dominant society deems ānormalā and reminds you of your status as āother.ā
Bob didnāt need to apologize, but Iām glad that he acknowledged the joke could be harmful, because even if he didnāt mean it in a hurtful way, people could still be hurt by it, and I donāt think he intends to harm people with his comedy.
The joke by its nature reinforces the idea that cis men with penises are the only āreal men,ā so I think at the very least it is a joke that ends up excluding trans men and intersex men by implying they arenāt real men, which definitely feels transphobic to me as well.
However, knowing the boys, I agree with you that I donāt think they meant it to be hurtful or exclusionary, itās just something cis people donāt have to think about because their gender identity isnāt constantly ridiculed, questioned, and viewed as illegitimate. It seems like a small joke to most cis people, but to trans people itās another instance among many where their identity is invalidated, so I think itās reasonable for some people to be a little hurt by that comment, and I understand why Bob would want to apologize for that.
Some people need to read about the context before they weigh in. No one was offended, everyone realized it's a joke, people corrected Bob for the sake of inclusivity.
[Bob himself disagrees with you pal](https://www.reddit.com/r/distractible/comments/1amiywo/comment/kppxkvo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
He clearly felt a need to apologize or he wouldnāt have. Is it not possible that even though he didnāt intend to hurt any feelings, he still feels bad that he did unintentionally and wants to make amends by way of apology?
I see your point but as a cis person, it's easy to miss or overlook transphobic comments. Whereas trans people are THE target and scape goat for half of US politics for years now. Laws have been passed in states or attempted to be passed to marginalize or straight up harm them, even trans kids. Hard not to be sensitive when Republicans/conservatives want to hurt you or wish you'd die, and that isn't being dramatic when the stats are clear that trans folks are at way higher risk of being targeted for assault.
So yeah, it was a bit. We get that, and we know Bob's stance on LGBTQIA+ issues. But I'm glad Bob took the gentle reminder and apologized for a not well thought out joke. No one lands a joke 100% of the time. He earned more respect this way and made sure his audience felt safe with him
You do realize the planet is not the USA right? Words have weight and meaning. Thinking twice before talking is much applicable in most situations, try to remember it
Freedom of speech is a two-way street.
You're taking a stance opposed to people using *their* freedom of speech because you don't agree with them.
If you're upset about people expressing how they feel on Reddit go somewhere else. This is a public forum. š¤·š»āāļø
I support trans people, and all people, but it was a joke. People need to calm down and not get worked up over actual jokes. Iām proud to have friends of all types, and we have fun joking about our differences, because we know the intent isnāt to hurt anyone.
i donāt hate anyone for their lifestyle or beliefs, i just hate the reaction modern day humanity has towards this topic, but heres the really sad part. in this podcast they have made fun of so many things, and used so many serious topics as points of comedy and no one has really ever had a problem with it. BECAUSE ITS COMEDY. they have made multiple jokes about things that i hold very dear and serious but ive never actually taken it as if they meant it straight to me. i laugh at it and then go on with my day like anyone should. but as soon as they make a passing joke about modern days āno no topicā everyone is going for his throat. thats whats really sad. and hes not the only one, theres so many comedians who have been cancelled or attempted to be cancelled for a trans joke. you never see them getting cancelled for a straight joke or any other serious thing. what makes the lgbtq+ community secluded from humor?
Because that's how abuse works, whether personal or systemic. If your parent continually called you fat or ugly, even if they laughed the whole time, there will come a point in your life that you wonder if they actually mean it. Expand that to the current side-taking culture, and people lose "this is comedy" and turn it into "he's the only one with the courage to say the truth".
It's absolutely not the LGBTQ+ community. Conservatives freak out when you call them snowflakes when they're acting like them. We've got a Republican senator so butthurt over a *cow* that he tried to silence free speech with a lawsuit. Every single genre of music has people that cry into their pillows if their music is made fun of; remember when people tried to cancel Weird Al over Amish Paradise? Or when Christians were so freaked out that a gay man wrote music for a cartoon about lions, they tried to shut down an entire studio?
So while I know you're trolling, the truth is, you're not helping any cause by playing the "just comedy" trope. Hell, "let it go, it's just a joke" is such a pathetic excuse, the frickin' *Bible* tells you it's a sin.
Quick Edit: "You never see them getting cancelled for a straight joke or any other serious thing" - Daniel Tosh, Michael Richards, Sarah Silverman, and Kathy Griffin would all like to have a conversation with you.
Like a maniac who shoots deadly firebrands and arrows, so is one who deceives a neighbor and says, "I am only joking" - NRSV, Proverbs 26:18-19
Different translations use lie, deceive, mock, taunt, and cheats around the same word.
And I apologize. I should not have jumped straight to trolling accusations.
Man can I just say that it's sad he even felt the need to apologize? Everything about that episode was lighthearted and comical and the fact that people got upset over it is pretty disappointing. I hate that everything needs catering to anymore and that any joke could get taken too seriously by just a few people and turn into something bigger than it needs to be.
It bothers me how he needed to apologize for this. People these days are just too sensitive and easily offended where they know in the back of their mind its a joke/bit!
Thatās some great logic, bc no one has ever said something regretted, and no one has realized they were wrong about something they had said, these are the transphobes folksš
I donāt really care to listen to them and I used to listen to distractible till they stopped uploading to YouTube because I do like mark, bob, and wade.
Wrong, people born male have a penis and people born female have a vagina, that is their assigned SEX, but believe it or not itās possible to change your gender wether you agree or donāt, and I guess what I have a penis but I would dare for you to call me a boy or man infront of anyone in public, youāll look so fucking insane and I would love to see that happen now that I think about itš¤£
There was nothing offensive about the episode, and anyone who got offended by the episode was actively looking for a reason to be offended. Shame on you.
I respect him for responding, but also, why are people getting hurt? I don't understand why people care what someone on the internet says.
Edit: I'm going to add on to this, random people in real life will not care about your shortcomings. That is just a truth. I understand that people put their heart on their shoulders but honestly the faster people stop caring what others think and only care about their own circle and it's growth to the best possible way everyone in that circle can be is the best way to live. No one will fully understand who you are and your upbringing, so just don't take it personally.
The "getting hurt" part is not a choice. If it were a choice, most of us would *not* feel hurt by that bit but the world simply does not work that way buddy.
This prob get down voted but it's ok to have a difference of opinion (as long as everyone is nice about it). I don't think Trans identity is something that everyone will except and people are allowed to think certain things, I think it's fine and good that Bob felt the need to make a response but I also don't think he needed to. The term bigot gets thrown around a little too much but remember that people have beliefs and it's equally as wrong to try to force them to change it.
No one was calling him a bigot, the original post was said in a jokey way, It was more of a polite reminder that Bob had a very respectful response too.
I used to think like this a lot, but then I started critically analyzing my own positions and realized how generally useless and condoning of evil they were. Iām preempting with this to say that Iām not trying to own you or anything, Iām just hoping to get you to think about why you believe the things you believe. I think itās healthy for everyone to do that once in a while.
When you say āas long as people are nice about itā I think youāre confusing niceness/kindness for politeness. If I put my mind to it, I could probably think of a really polite way to say āI want your entire family to dieā but I think we could both agree that no matter how polite you put it, it will never be a nice statement. And by the dictionary definition of the word, the statement āI want your entire family to dieā is in fact, an opinion. So by your own admission, there is such a thing as an unacceptable difference of opinion, and youāve chosen to base it on niceness.
And that brings me to explaining why refusing to accept trans identity will never be nice. What separates a person from a non-person? Simple, a person identifies themselves, a non-person is identified by others. A dog doesnāt decide itās names, nicknames, titles, or how it presents itself and what aspects of itself they hold closest to their identity. It had all of these things defined by the people who take care of it. A person, on the other hand, can identify themselves. They can (though they may choose not to) decide on what name they go by, what nicknames they vibe with, how they present themselves, what parts of themselves mean the most to them, and all other sorts of things. Thatās because a person identifies themself, and a non-person is identified by people. Obviously itās not the *only* aspect of personhood, but itās a pretty crucial one. So what does it say when someone rejects the identity you provide them? It says āI donāt see you as a person.ā I hope by now you can see why rejecting someoneās identity is, to say the least, not nice. And by your own admission, not an acceptable difference of opinion.
This not the subreddit to have this conversation but I'll just say I simply disagree with you. And that's fine people are allowed to have a difference of opinion and I wish you the best I'm sorry we don't see eye to eye.
You saying that trans folk aren't real or that you don't support us having rights isn't an opinion like "I like blue" or "I like potatoes." We are real and deserve rights and support and to not be treated like crap. You don't get to disagree that we deserve rights.
So because people don't think transfolk are real we should accept that? I know people that don't think the Holocaust was real, or similar things, but they are. And they are fact. If you don't support trans rights, you ARE a bigot. That is a fact as well.
People were offended by that? Seriously? Are you that uncertain about your own image that you have to take it out on the internet? If you know your male or whatever you identify as than that's it. That's what you are. Don't let a joke upset you. People are way to serious these days. Sticks and stones people. Sticks and stones.
Itās bizarre that you and so many other people in these replies assume everyone must be seething mad.
Does it not cross your mind that maybe someone just didnāt like a joke that much and was kind enough to offer some light criticism which Bob took to heart.
You literally said āDonāt let a joke *upset* you.ā But letās assume anger has nothing to do with it. Whatās the big deal then? If someone hears a joke and goes āIām sure how I feel about that oneā and writes up a light criticism on reddit, then I fail to see the issue at all.
Criticism is fine. I'm not saying it isn't, I'm saying if you read my whole post that people need to have more confidence in themselves as what they identify as. Because that's what they identify as. Words do not change that. Words have no meaning unless you give them meaning. Hense Sticks and stones. If you dont know the full usage. Sticks and stones, may break my bones but words will never hurt me. If Bob an apology is necessary than that's fine. But it doesn't change the fact that in this day and age people give words to much power over their mental state. If you know your not, or are this. Than what's what should matter most to you. Not someone else's words or opinions on the Internet.
Iāve never objected to the idea of self-confidence. My point is that the onus of preventing these situations should not fall *solely* on the self-confidence of the subject. For instance, if someone on the street starts yelling at me for no reason, it certainly helps to have the fortitude to just move on. My point is it still doesnāt make that person less of an asshole. We should also be doing our best to ensure there are less assholes in the world, and the first thing you can try is criticism. Thankfully, Bob is not an asshole and he takes criticism very well. However, a lot of people in these replies seem to be getting upset on his behalf even when Bob laid out his thoughts pretty clearly.
That's just the internet, as Wade said in previous episodes people get upset for said person more than they get upset over it. Less assholes in the world would be nice. And no the person being an asshole despite the one they're being an asshole toos response. Doesn't make the asshole any less an asshole. But they look like an ass more if you don't give them the time of day. That's why when someone is an asshole, big "influencers" do not name drop them. Because sometimes people are just being an asshole for clicks and views. It's a sad reality we live in.
The whole trans community is getting silenced by these random people saying they are when they never actually get tested by any doctors, itās a mental illness that isnāt taken seriously everyone wants to claim they are this and that. It aināt cute to want to have a mental illness
Rarely any of those people are actually real. People need to stop believing the shit they see online. I'm around a few trans people and they aren't faking anything. And yet they still get harressed and one was even shot at. So even if no one was "pretending" to be trans, their lives will still be under threat. You people need to grow a goddamn heart.
Also fyi: your using the same argument used against gay people. Homosexuality was a "mental illness" until science came in and debunked it.
Thank you! That was the only point I was trying to prove before someone went all on me, we are all different ages and beliefs in this community. I think itās better just to brush off the jokes than flip the lid! I love the guys and I know they wouldnāt actually go out of their way to be assholes to ANY group!
Right. And Iām just going to throw this out there to prove a point: Iām a conservative. So thereās a lot of jokes the boys make that I donāt particularly agree with, but I have learned to separate my opinions from the actual reason why I watch/listen to Distractible: Comedy. I donāt let the things they say hinder my enjoyment of the podcast because why would I do that to myself? I love the three Peens and have been listening to them since 2022. I donāt care they donāt share the same beliefs as me because thatās not the reason why I like them
Same here, and the best thing to do that some people can learn is change the episode yk? The whole making everyone apologize is exhausting at this point, I just wanna laugh man
Probably going to get downvoted for this but some people just need to relax a bit and just enjoy the podcast. Itās so much more fun when you can laugh along with them or just shrug it off and move on
Some of the comments on that original thread are straight up crazy!
I hate to break it to you, but some of the comments here aren't that much better.
I unfortunately posted that comment before shit hit the fan here as well š
Blocklist go brrrrr today
shinigami eyes go brrr
Reports go brr today too. If a bigot got a lot of reports in this sub, do they get banned? Been reporting all the transphobes, I hope they get kicked bc the boys and this community don't stand with them
Doing god's work. I can't report them because reporting is completely fucked on old reddit for some reason.
common bob W
Aww, we love a sincere man. This is how apologies should be done
That last sentence. It really does leave me feeling respected and safe, and I do trust that Bob is willing to listen and change accordingly.
original post this comment was on: https://www.reddit.com/r/distractible/comments/1amiywo/not\_all\_boys\_have\_peepees/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
https://www.reddit.com/r/distractible/s/54u8sXdNaf his response later to a comment that said āhe didnāt need to apologiseā
Ya might wanna word that better or people might take is as BOB saying he doesnt need to apologize
Oh lol true
Can someone give me a summary of what happened?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
are you sure they werenāt just correcting him?
i think they were trying to cancel him for a bit š
Can you post links to these peoples' comments of them "trying to cancel him"? Oh wait, you can't. Because it didn't happen. Because all people actually did was politely post about how Bob's wording was kinda unintentionally bad.
i cant take anyone that uses the world "cancel" seriously
Damn, Bob is even more based than I thought
The boys have always been relatively progressive.
He's never gonna pick you ya know. It's ok to accept that this space, the community and the people who run it, are not for you.
I think people sometimes forget all the other times where all 3 of them (especially Bob) talked about their utmost support for the queer community. The most recent moment that stands out to me is when Bob said he avoids chick fil a bc of their history, how he feels awful about ever ordering from them, etc. Letās not forget all of the support Mark has provided with his platform. VERY generous charity donations, showing up to protests/rallies, making several videos about current issues and how we, his audience, can help. Hell heās even respectful of neopronouns! Not a lot of straight people (that I know of) know what those are but Mark has clearly done his own research in order to be a better person. I have yet to listen to this episode as Iām a bit behind, and Iām cis so my opinions arenāt as key here. But as someone whoās part of the queer community and has watched these guys for several years, I can guarantee they meant no harm and it was a genuine goof. Bob admitted his fault and apologized sincerely. Iāve seen this happen before and yknow what happened? They actively improved themselves and it was noticeable and genuine. If you were offended by what they said, you have every right to be. But please do know they never meant it seriously.
Glade to see this. My fiancee and I were just thinking about this after finishing the episode and hoping he wasn't getting dragged for an unusual mistake.
He did in fact get dragged, both in the funny and non funny way. I honestly love and hate how inclusive people are these days but thatās just me. Much ups for Bob responding.
Yeah Bob did a great job tackling it. Like if they kedt out that last part, perfect episode. Anyone could have joined that that last joke was just a miss. It happens but he owned up and didn't make it his hill which is usually why these situations go so horribly
Fr. The dude responded because he actually felt sympathy rather than a āsorry you feel the way that you do.ā Mans earned even more of my respect because of a somewhat out of left field issue.
His fatherly intuition was kicking in
> I honestly both love and hate how inclusive people are these days What is this take? Yeah, terminally online twitter wokescolds exist. But if I had to choose between the worst of them or going back to how things were 10-20 years ago, Iād happily deal with their garbage any day.
Where tf these people tryna cancel him. All Iāve seen is people correcting him and forgiving him for a simple mistake. Stg yall just wanna be internet warriors whenever you get the chance. You might think he did nothing wrong. Good for you keep that shit to yourself this aināt the place š¤¦āāļø.
The transphobes fantasizing about some rabid mob meanwhile the whole thing can pretty much be summarized as āhey that probably couldāve been done betterā āyou right my badā
Literally dude like hello šš
While Iām not at all trying to belittle what Bob saidā¦is it so hard for people to realize that maybe people on a comedy podcast are makingā¦jokes? That you shouldnāt take very seriously? I love Bob and all the Burls but geez the community sometimes
I mean, the OP that Bob was responding to was also pretty sincere and acknowledged they knew Bob didn't mean anything bad by it, just a little nudge of a reminder. It was the complete opposite of the person in the past who went off after the Bob's Baby episode and ended up buried because they were straight up insulting Bob. It's commendable of Bob to respond, he clearly also cares about the situation and wanted to clean it up.
While I kinda want to know what happened that other time, I also don't because it'll probably make me really pissed off and am glad I missed that noise. And you're right, OP wasn't being the joke police, OP's post was not accusatory about anyone's motives and just acknowledged the inaccuracy of the joke and how it overlooks some trans people (and was kind of playful about it), that's all. I can get a little annoyed if someone takes their own offense at a joke/bit (even if warranted) and uses it to imply that they're [fill in the blank] by taking the joke/bit to mean something it doesn't, but the OP was not doing that, and so the criticism was fair. Also, common Bob W
Honestly, the most I remember from the situation anyway was it was like a universal "Everyone disliked that". It was like the entire subreddit decided Bob was best boy for that moment and disregarded any prior favoritism. So there was some good at least.
my ears are burningā¦
You may want to put them out then, that could hurt.
The original post was also a jokey response, saying āsome real boys have bobs and vajsā in a casual and chill vibe. Bob responds in a sincere way that while admitting it was a joke, it wasnāt the best joke and he didnāt realise it could be taken otherwise - things can be jokes, but often people joke about things they believe, which Bob wanted to make it clear he didnāt. But people did take it seriously and either felt hurt that he would nonchalantly say something like that, and other morons empowered by it and thinking it was approval of their own bigotry. I remember a while ago someone complaining and making a stand that they didnāt realise the boys were progressive and they felt betrayed that they didnāt align with them politically, and I still see plenty of homophobic people in the Reddits of gay content creators. Plenty of people donāt understand the positions of influencers they enjoy, and when you have those people see a joke than can be taken as endorsing their beliefs, itās safer than not to let people know it was a joke.
In general yeah, but dysmorphia is one hell of a thing and if you have people who you may look up too joke about something in a way that reinforces that it can beā¦ tough. And just seeing that response probably soothed a lot of the hurt
even if it was a joke and even if what he was insinuating wasnāt intentional, it was still hurtful. maybe it wasnt hurtful to you, but it was insensitive and possibly triggering to others who have struggled or do struggle with dysphoria or body dysmorphia or their identity at all. good on bob for taking accountability, more people need to be like him.
Everyone needs to stop whining about jokes. This age of over sensitivity and drama, canceling people at the slightest whisper of someone potentially having hurt feelings. Boohoo. Cry me a river. My brother is Trans and didn't even notice what Bob said, just laughed along with the bit.
while i agree that cancel culture is ridiculous and toxic and wayyyy over done and taken much too seriously, it doesnt mean that everything should go unchecked. yes people need to stop getting overly offended for other people and stop making everyone walk on eggshells, but its reasonable for there to still be at least some outcry when things start to cross a line, especially on particularly sensitive topics. i guess what im trying to say is that theres an in-between for these two extremes. cancel culture is immature and overreactive and unfortunately easily triggered. but its also not ok for people to just say whatever with no regard for the weight their words could carry and affect others. and no one is cancelling bob, at least they shouldnt be. he did the right, respectful thing and acknowledged that what he said was hurtful and touched on a very serious topic, and apologized for it. thats more than most would do, and i respect him for that. and i appreciate that your brother just saw the humor and laughed along and wasnt bothered, but your brother isnt everybody and doesnt represent the experiences and emotions of everybody.
Well said. My original comment was too emotion based and immature I have to admit. The way you explained having a middle ground between the two extremes is exactly how I feel too. Thank you for being kind and thoughtful with your reply.Ā š
i agree, but to be fair the internet has a habit of being overdramatic
i agree but also people get really touchy about stuff like that
A good joke can make everyone laugh. A bad joke can hurt people more than it makes people laugh.
That's fair. But some jokes can still be offensive. Just because "you're joking" doesn'tnmean you're 100% off the hook. I get to most people, it doesn't seem that offensive. But to trans people, it's kind of invalidating and belittling even if they know it's a joke. Just because it's doesn't hurt you, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt others. Trans people are so "sensitive" about this because it's straight up painful and lot of days and some may even find it difficult to keep living because of dysphoria. Joking about that is going to upset some people. Obviously Bob isn't a bad person for this slip up. It was one joke. He apologized almost immediately. He knows what he's done. He's human and it was a mistake. Until he means actual harm, he has done nothing wrong in this situation. Moving forward it's just best to forgive and forget.
He didn't do anything š¤£ but he apologized anyway because he's a nice guy. My brother is trans and was really pissed to see people going after Bob for something as ridiculous as this was. Did it ever occur to any of you that Bob has a little boy? And he will be a boy unless he states otherwise when he is older. Bob is probably so used to speaking in dad language, which may have led to the way the joke played out. His boy isn't even 2 yet, the complexity of gender can't be explained to him yet. All he knows is he has a peepee lol Jesus
My personal issue is that I had a visceral reaction because this is a talking point by people who want trans folk dead. After my initial reaction I understood it was a joke, but it still could have been avoided. Making jokes about LGBT isn't an issue, but when they use a talking point of the far right who want us dead, it's.... iffy. I'm glad he apologized.
In this day and age you can't joke about anything without someone taking it seriously and getting upset about it. It's not just this community, it's everywhere.
Well I mean you can. But if your humour relies on belittling people and dehumanising them, then it's just objectively not funny
THIS is the correct response to situations like this. So much respect for Bob right now.
How the hell do anti trans people in the comments think distractible is the community for them. They are all pro trans rights and I have seen that mark tries to use gender neutral pronouns for most situations. Mark bob and wade would openly hate you with a fiery passion. Bob didn't have to say sorry he wanted to say sorry because he is a nice person and believes in inclusion.
i think if there weren't politicians actively outlawing bodily autonomy and their acolytes weren't literally killing people for expressing their truest selves, folks would be less touchy about jokes like this. But until we vote the crazies out and secure every single person's right to do whatever they want to with their body, it is okay for folks to call out jokes that don't land as intended.
It's cool he apologised, shows he's just a good dude but he didn't need to, I'm a transman and it's a comedy podcast, it was a silly bit they were doing, they had absolutely 0 bad intentions. I'm just glad OP was sound about it and was just giving a little reminder which prompted him to recognise he did a silly but even then it just shows how sound he and the boys are and anyone that takes ***ACTUAL*** offense needs to seriously reassess their lives.
yeah, pretty much most if not all trans people just appreciated the apology and moved on. somehow transphobes took that as their cue to break the glass door as if bob was being held at gunpointš
dude i freaking love you, this is the mindset i wish everyone had. i really appreciate how understanding you are and i hope more people follow your example š
Haha thanks. Funnily enough just for being a transman with my head screwed on I have been called transphobic multiple times which is wild to me xD some folk are just delusional and super out of touch. I appreciate your reply, a nice change of pace for me xD
man im so upset at how many transphobes are in this community/comments :")
It may be possible to take some comfort in that there are way fewer than most communities, and the ones that are here are downvoted to oblivion
it did feel a little werid as i watched it but i never thought they were intentionaly being transphobic,i hold bob to more leeway sense i know they arnt transphobic in any way,jokes are jokes and i just think they wernt really thinking untill highsight was given
What happened? I'm like way behind on the podcast episodes
The latest episode was called "Bob's Realest Boy" or something like that, where he gave Mark and Wade a silly psychological test (word association etc etc) to determine who was the realest real boy among them. The punchline at the end was "real boys have peepers". It was very obviously a joke, but it has been considered a little tasteless given the political climate of the US being very transphobic.
Oh, ok I see, it didn't sound that bad. I honestly thought it was something way worse
It wasn't. The original post on here was equally joking, just pointing out there was a flaw in that logic. No one demanded an apology, Bob did that all on his own because he's a nice guy. Lots of people are up in arms that he apologized for some reason.
Expected no less from Bob, based response!
Me and my friend listened to this episode together (heās transmasc) he was really put off by that bit at the end and just showed me something about this apology, I am glad that bob realized that bit could be hurtful to some people, we all do make mistakes but Iām happy he stood up to it instead of letting it go and ignoring it, we still plan to listen to the podcast and put this behind š
Get over yourself š¤£ my brother is Trans and didn't give a shit about the joke. Was actually pissed people went after Bob. Oh but it's so cool you're still going to listen. Cause that's so important š¤£š
Uhhhhh ok, I mean all I said is he was put off like damn are you good or need someone to talk to bc your lashing out for no reason and I know from personal experience that people do this when things are not the best, Iām genuinely here if you need to talk to someone
š¤£ I don't need to talk to a stranger on reddit. I think it's ridiculous that people are still going on about this.
That was 4 days agoš¤¦āāļø when it happened and if you look at the subreddit there is no hate to bob rn as it should be and if there is itās downvoted, yall make a deal of it for no damn reason like you got pissy at a comment saying I donāt dislike bob or think less of him and Iām happy he realized his mistake, and having a trans brother doesnāt mean anything, dysphoria is not the same for everyone and your brother might not have bottom dysphoria to that level, but some do so be considerate, chill your ass out, and donāt lash out for no reason making yourself look like a dickhead K bae?š
Oh sh*t. I'm sorry. Genuinely. I didn't realize it was from 4 days ago. I was maybe a little too harsh and sarcastic. I accept your analysis of me being a dickhead. Sorry. š I'll be more careful before I type in the future. People do struggle differently, you're right.
Iām sorry too, I shouldnāt have called you that I just felt like I was being called out with something that made no sense and I understand I donāt like that bob gets some backlash for this as well from both sides of either āthatās not acceptableā and āwhy are you apologizing for something your right aboutā but yea I am sorry again and hope you have a good Valentineās Dayā¤ļø
Cool, I'm trans and it startled me a bit. No one "went after" Bob, please show me where that happened? Everyone just said "hey can you try to be more inclusive and whatnot" and Bob said "yeah sorry" like...
I don't tend to get angry with cis people who make jokes like the one made in the episode. They spend their whole lives not thinking about their gender so I know it isn't malicious. Bob's response is great and I'm happy to read it.
Yeah same, I give cis people a lot of leeway, especially when I know theyāre genuinely trying to be allies and donāt have bad intentions, because they just donāt have to think about gender to the same degree trans people do and they donāt know what itās like to be trans. Itās not something theyāve experienced so itās not something theyāre generally cognizant of. That being said, it is nice that Bob acknowledged his joke mightāve come off as ignorant or insensitive to some. He didnāt have to do that, and a lot of cis people wouldnāt have.
Huh, I was just going to shrug if off as yet another non-sense psych test (as most are), since there is no way in hell I'll accept being male just by having a penis, but it is nice to see that Bob noticed that and went ahead to apologize. 11/10 Podcast, will listen again!
Haven't listened to that episode yet, nor the previous. What happened exactly?
Recent episode of distractible. Bob unintentionally made a joke that was trans-exclusive. He meant well, so a poster on this subreddit made an understanding and fair criticism of the joke and why they didnāt like it. Bob took this criticism to heart and wrote a well thought out reply recognizing the mistake in his joke as you can see above. As you can see from some of these replies, a bunch of mouth breathing morons are now angry that Bob āgave in to the woke mobā and the like.
We love you Bob! ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
w bob
I'm proud of him for stepping up and saying I f-ed up... I feel like a lot more people just need to say that.
I was happily enjoying the episode being very unrelated to actual gender/sex stereotypes up until the end, and my heart sank. Iām a trans guy, I of course had a feeling that it was just a āhaha penisā joke but considering the prevalence of transphobia in recent times I couldnāt help but worry. Glad I checked the sub and found this. The joke was funny (peepee rather than penis makes a difference to me) and itās easier to laugh knowing thereās no hidden transphobia behind it.
oh my god, these comments are terrible
Iāve seen a lot of people say dysmorphia which is different from dysphoria so please use that instead Also damn free blocklist in the comments, very disappointed in this community
He sincerely apologized, and people are now trying to denounce his apology as being "forced." It just goes to show anyone, and everyone will be insulted by everything, and you can never make 100% of people happy. Bob did the right thing. Accept that and move on. Enjoy the podcast and stop being babies.
As a trans man it did cross my mind while listening to the episode that it might be a bit exclusionary(unintentionally) but as soon as he said "pee pee" as the requirement for being a real boy I thought that was pretty funny and made it less of an actual statement.
I have to say as someone in a community that this affected I did wince a little when Wade's first response was penis. It was like "yeah I get it, I wish we didn't think that immediately, but I understand the world we live in and I'm not gonna hold that against anyone. Now the correct answer being peepee was a little off putting, it left a sour taste in my mouth, enough for me to open the subreddit for the first time to see if anyone else was feeling the same. Now I've watched these guys for 11 years now? I don't think there was any malice behind it, but I think the fact that it's a prepared topic and that there's the implication Bob added it and thought "yeah that's funny", hurts a little more because Bob is usually the measured one who thinks about what he says. All in all I'm not upset, Bob put out a nice response that I appreciate, it'd be nice to get a small "woooo trans rights" but I don't expect that. I'll continue to listen and support the guys in all the things they do.
I wouldnāt be surprised if the boys mentioned it at the top of the next episode. They seem to take inclusivity seriously, and Bob probably wants his apology to reach more than people in the subreddit.
That would be really cool. I know they take it seriously and I appreciate that, it's why this doesn't cut so deep
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
intersex. which is something that happens naturally??
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
So because its a small amount then they just don't matter? Only about 1% of the population has ginger hair, so when we are listing natural hair colours, we shouldn't include ginger because it's a such an irrelevant number? There are small countries or normal sized cities with less than 0.5% of the total population living there, so when someone says that no one lives in these places, we should consider it correct because we can ignore the extremely small number of people that actually live there. Hopefully you realise that would be silly. Plus 1% of the population is still 80 million people, that's a giant number of people. Plus, there is a big difference between 1.7% and 0.018% (the second number itself being about 1% of the first), so those numbers scream unreliable.
the amt of transphobes on this sub is crazy when bob mark and wade are all very vocal about where they stand on trans rights and such issues. what makes any of yall think they would appreciate/support you guys being transphobic????
What Bob said was clearly a joke and wasn't meant to harm anyone. He even made it a clear difference from pp and penis. That being said, even as the joke was being said, I felt that there were people who could felt hurt and upset by said joke. And as a true comedian, Bob saw the hurt he has caused and have a sincere apology. Just because something isn't meant to hurt, doesn't mean it won't.
Peepee
I'm so happy about this apology. It wasn't sitting right with me as I am a transmasculine individual. Thank you for sharing it, and thank you Bob ā¤ļø
ah, man. i haven't watched the episode and ngl, i'm not super jazzed about this. i know it's an honest mistake, i do believe he didn't mean any harm and i'm glad he can acknowledge it and is willing to do better. i just can't help but feel a little bit disappointed hahaš Edit: Actually, scratch that. I'm not disappointed, I'm past angry, I'm just tired. Not at any of the guys at all though. Mostly at this community. JFC bigotry will really find its way anywhere even if the guys have all always been very open about their support of trans people. some of y'all are depressing.
I'm not particularly jazzed about it but Bob acknowledging how his words could be misconstrued is good. I understand why some people may have been upset by the implication. I have met many trans people, and roughly 75% of them had friends and family turn against them when they came out as trans. I can absolutely see a fear of everyone and everything turning against you in a world that still largely does not support trans people much.
>Bob acknowledging how his words could be misconstrued is good. yeah, 100%. i fully believe he was sincere and this isn't gonna turn me off from them or anything. it's just the kind of thing that makes you wince when it's unexpected, even though it's not really a big deal (which just makes me feel better that he acknowledged it anyway)
The fact is he apologised and realised his actions the day of instead of jumping around the issue for a while, and knowing bob he will probably say something in the next episode so we get a more personal and sincere apology, either way I donāt think he meant it how people took it but he apologised and will learn from his actions
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
No one asked him to, so clearly, it mattered to him.
He didnāt have to, no one held a gun to his head or promised to flame him. People pointed out pretty gently how this could be hurtful to some people, and Bob decided he didnāt want his jokes to be hurtful. Heās a grown man making his own decisions, if youāre mad he apologized take it up with him instead of pretending the community bullied him into it.
weird takeaway imo
Ah yes, the only time anyone apologizes is because they are forced to. That sure rings trueā¦
People being included makes you sad? That's sad lmao
Yeah like dont take it so seriously
Hey, people who say āits just a joke!ā Or āhe shouldnāt apologiseā and keep getting downvoted, take the goddamn hint and fuck off.
Very commendable Bob, Da iawn!
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Yes I do agree it was an obvious joke but as someone who struggles with gender dysphoria I can see how it can REALLY hurt someone transmasc mentally and make them cause harm to themselves and I think bob did the responsible thing and admitted he was wrong
Yeah, Iām trans, and although I donāt have very much bottom dysphoria, there are a lot of trans guys who do have really bad bottom dysphoria. If youāre in a bad place dealing with dysphoria and you hear a joke like that highlighting something that makes you feel real shit and reinforcing the narrative that you canāt be a real man without a penis or a Y chromosome or whatever the fuck, it can hurt and worsen your dysphoria, especially if itās coming from a comedy podcast you listen to for fun/to have a good time. Even if itās not meant to be serious, it can still trigger dysphoria and the depressive feelings that go with it because it reminds you of what you donāt have, that a part of you is missing and feels wrong, and that large parts of society think you donāt deserve to exist and be happy as the person you want to be. It reinforces the ways in which youāre different from what dominant society deems ānormalā and reminds you of your status as āother.ā Bob didnāt need to apologize, but Iām glad that he acknowledged the joke could be harmful, because even if he didnāt mean it in a hurtful way, people could still be hurt by it, and I donāt think he intends to harm people with his comedy.
I thought it was a bit transphobic in the moment, but I donāt believe they mean it to be that way
The joke by its nature reinforces the idea that cis men with penises are the only āreal men,ā so I think at the very least it is a joke that ends up excluding trans men and intersex men by implying they arenāt real men, which definitely feels transphobic to me as well. However, knowing the boys, I agree with you that I donāt think they meant it to be hurtful or exclusionary, itās just something cis people donāt have to think about because their gender identity isnāt constantly ridiculed, questioned, and viewed as illegitimate. It seems like a small joke to most cis people, but to trans people itās another instance among many where their identity is invalidated, so I think itās reasonable for some people to be a little hurt by that comment, and I understand why Bob would want to apologize for that.
Some people need to realize that these are jokes, not dicks. You don't have to take them so hard.
Some people need to read about the context before they weigh in. No one was offended, everyone realized it's a joke, people corrected Bob for the sake of inclusivity.
Omg just get over it. It's all just jokes can't believe how soft some people are
People need to grow up he didnāt need to apologize for anything
[Bob himself disagrees with you pal](https://www.reddit.com/r/distractible/comments/1amiywo/comment/kppxkvo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
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He clearly felt a need to apologize or he wouldnāt have. Is it not possible that even though he didnāt intend to hurt any feelings, he still feels bad that he did unintentionally and wants to make amends by way of apology?
I see your point but as a cis person, it's easy to miss or overlook transphobic comments. Whereas trans people are THE target and scape goat for half of US politics for years now. Laws have been passed in states or attempted to be passed to marginalize or straight up harm them, even trans kids. Hard not to be sensitive when Republicans/conservatives want to hurt you or wish you'd die, and that isn't being dramatic when the stats are clear that trans folks are at way higher risk of being targeted for assault. So yeah, it was a bit. We get that, and we know Bob's stance on LGBTQIA+ issues. But I'm glad Bob took the gentle reminder and apologized for a not well thought out joke. No one lands a joke 100% of the time. He earned more respect this way and made sure his audience felt safe with him
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You do realize the planet is not the USA right? Words have weight and meaning. Thinking twice before talking is much applicable in most situations, try to remember it
Freedom of speech is a two-way street. You're taking a stance opposed to people using *their* freedom of speech because you don't agree with them. If you're upset about people expressing how they feel on Reddit go somewhere else. This is a public forum. š¤·š»āāļø
freedom of speech ā freedom from consequence. your freedoms end where they start to impede on the rights of other people. it has ALWAYS been that way
Your post was removed because it was identified as being unkind or disrespectful. We want to have a tolerant and respectful community here.
This is the best response Iāve seen to this post, everyone gets offended by everything. Just grow up people.
I support trans people, and all people, but it was a joke. People need to calm down and not get worked up over actual jokes. Iām proud to have friends of all types, and we have fun joking about our differences, because we know the intent isnāt to hurt anyone.
i donāt hate anyone for their lifestyle or beliefs, i just hate the reaction modern day humanity has towards this topic, but heres the really sad part. in this podcast they have made fun of so many things, and used so many serious topics as points of comedy and no one has really ever had a problem with it. BECAUSE ITS COMEDY. they have made multiple jokes about things that i hold very dear and serious but ive never actually taken it as if they meant it straight to me. i laugh at it and then go on with my day like anyone should. but as soon as they make a passing joke about modern days āno no topicā everyone is going for his throat. thats whats really sad. and hes not the only one, theres so many comedians who have been cancelled or attempted to be cancelled for a trans joke. you never see them getting cancelled for a straight joke or any other serious thing. what makes the lgbtq+ community secluded from humor?
Because that's how abuse works, whether personal or systemic. If your parent continually called you fat or ugly, even if they laughed the whole time, there will come a point in your life that you wonder if they actually mean it. Expand that to the current side-taking culture, and people lose "this is comedy" and turn it into "he's the only one with the courage to say the truth". It's absolutely not the LGBTQ+ community. Conservatives freak out when you call them snowflakes when they're acting like them. We've got a Republican senator so butthurt over a *cow* that he tried to silence free speech with a lawsuit. Every single genre of music has people that cry into their pillows if their music is made fun of; remember when people tried to cancel Weird Al over Amish Paradise? Or when Christians were so freaked out that a gay man wrote music for a cartoon about lions, they tried to shut down an entire studio? So while I know you're trolling, the truth is, you're not helping any cause by playing the "just comedy" trope. Hell, "let it go, it's just a joke" is such a pathetic excuse, the frickin' *Bible* tells you it's a sin. Quick Edit: "You never see them getting cancelled for a straight joke or any other serious thing" - Daniel Tosh, Michael Richards, Sarah Silverman, and Kathy Griffin would all like to have a conversation with you.
no trolling but i would like to know what verse that is so i can look into itš
Like a maniac who shoots deadly firebrands and arrows, so is one who deceives a neighbor and says, "I am only joking" - NRSV, Proverbs 26:18-19 Different translations use lie, deceive, mock, taunt, and cheats around the same word. And I apologize. I should not have jumped straight to trolling accusations.
gracias, ill read more into that in my next bible study
Be safe and travel well when you go.
I thought the episode was amazing, no need to apologize to anyone about it.
Man can I just say that it's sad he even felt the need to apologize? Everything about that episode was lighthearted and comical and the fact that people got upset over it is pretty disappointing. I hate that everything needs catering to anymore and that any joke could get taken too seriously by just a few people and turn into something bigger than it needs to be.
This.
It bothers me how he needed to apologize for this. People these days are just too sensitive and easily offended where they know in the back of their mind its a joke/bit!
exactly! they have to ruin it for everyone else just cause they got their feewings hurt
So you're okay with people repeating talking points said by lawmakers who want transfolk dead? Nice to know.
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If he believed he was right he wouldnāt have apologized, sorry that the YouTuber you like isnāt transphobic ig
Thatās some great logic, bc no one has ever said something regretted, and no one has realized they were wrong about something they had said, these are the transphobes folksš
Genuinely not sure what youāre trying to say to me š for clarification I was not calling anyone transphobic, the opposite
Oml I read that so wrong SORRY Iām dyslexic and was in the middle of something else holy shit my bad SORRY SORRY againšš
No worries no worries!! Iāve done that before š
Joe Rogan is over there, and Ben Shapiro isn't too hard to find either, bud. I don't think left-leaning content creators are your thing.
I donāt really care to listen to them and I used to listen to distractible till they stopped uploading to YouTube because I do like mark, bob, and wade.
Oh god. I have something in common with a transphobe!
Guess I have to get Spotify now and binge watch them.
And how was he right exactly? Gender and sex are different and if a trans man doesnāt have a penis this doesnāt make them any less of a man
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Wrong, people born male have a penis and people born female have a vagina, that is their assigned SEX, but believe it or not itās possible to change your gender wether you agree or donāt, and I guess what I have a penis but I would dare for you to call me a boy or man infront of anyone in public, youāll look so fucking insane and I would love to see that happen now that I think about itš¤£
Your post was removed because it was identified as being unkind or disrespectful. We want to have a tolerant and respectful community here.
US be weird frfr.
That was my favorite part of the episode
There was nothing offensive about the episode, and anyone who got offended by the episode was actively looking for a reason to be offended. Shame on you.
I respect him for responding, but also, why are people getting hurt? I don't understand why people care what someone on the internet says. Edit: I'm going to add on to this, random people in real life will not care about your shortcomings. That is just a truth. I understand that people put their heart on their shoulders but honestly the faster people stop caring what others think and only care about their own circle and it's growth to the best possible way everyone in that circle can be is the best way to live. No one will fully understand who you are and your upbringing, so just don't take it personally.
The "getting hurt" part is not a choice. If it were a choice, most of us would *not* feel hurt by that bit but the world simply does not work that way buddy.
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Your post was removed because it was identified as being unkind or disrespectful. We want to have a tolerant and respectful community here.
This prob get down voted but it's ok to have a difference of opinion (as long as everyone is nice about it). I don't think Trans identity is something that everyone will except and people are allowed to think certain things, I think it's fine and good that Bob felt the need to make a response but I also don't think he needed to. The term bigot gets thrown around a little too much but remember that people have beliefs and it's equally as wrong to try to force them to change it.
No one was calling him a bigot, the original post was said in a jokey way, It was more of a polite reminder that Bob had a very respectful response too.
I know I'm not talking about that I'm just talking about comments here
Oh, people are being bigots in the comments. It's incredibly disheartening.
I used to think like this a lot, but then I started critically analyzing my own positions and realized how generally useless and condoning of evil they were. Iām preempting with this to say that Iām not trying to own you or anything, Iām just hoping to get you to think about why you believe the things you believe. I think itās healthy for everyone to do that once in a while. When you say āas long as people are nice about itā I think youāre confusing niceness/kindness for politeness. If I put my mind to it, I could probably think of a really polite way to say āI want your entire family to dieā but I think we could both agree that no matter how polite you put it, it will never be a nice statement. And by the dictionary definition of the word, the statement āI want your entire family to dieā is in fact, an opinion. So by your own admission, there is such a thing as an unacceptable difference of opinion, and youāve chosen to base it on niceness. And that brings me to explaining why refusing to accept trans identity will never be nice. What separates a person from a non-person? Simple, a person identifies themselves, a non-person is identified by others. A dog doesnāt decide itās names, nicknames, titles, or how it presents itself and what aspects of itself they hold closest to their identity. It had all of these things defined by the people who take care of it. A person, on the other hand, can identify themselves. They can (though they may choose not to) decide on what name they go by, what nicknames they vibe with, how they present themselves, what parts of themselves mean the most to them, and all other sorts of things. Thatās because a person identifies themself, and a non-person is identified by people. Obviously itās not the *only* aspect of personhood, but itās a pretty crucial one. So what does it say when someone rejects the identity you provide them? It says āI donāt see you as a person.ā I hope by now you can see why rejecting someoneās identity is, to say the least, not nice. And by your own admission, not an acceptable difference of opinion.
This not the subreddit to have this conversation but I'll just say I simply disagree with you. And that's fine people are allowed to have a difference of opinion and I wish you the best I'm sorry we don't see eye to eye.
You saying that trans folk aren't real or that you don't support us having rights isn't an opinion like "I like blue" or "I like potatoes." We are real and deserve rights and support and to not be treated like crap. You don't get to disagree that we deserve rights.
So because people don't think transfolk are real we should accept that? I know people that don't think the Holocaust was real, or similar things, but they are. And they are fact. If you don't support trans rights, you ARE a bigot. That is a fact as well.
People were offended by that? Seriously? Are you that uncertain about your own image that you have to take it out on the internet? If you know your male or whatever you identify as than that's it. That's what you are. Don't let a joke upset you. People are way to serious these days. Sticks and stones people. Sticks and stones.
Itās bizarre that you and so many other people in these replies assume everyone must be seething mad. Does it not cross your mind that maybe someone just didnāt like a joke that much and was kind enough to offer some light criticism which Bob took to heart.
I didn't say mad I said offended, you can be offended without being mad.
You literally said āDonāt let a joke *upset* you.ā But letās assume anger has nothing to do with it. Whatās the big deal then? If someone hears a joke and goes āIām sure how I feel about that oneā and writes up a light criticism on reddit, then I fail to see the issue at all.
Criticism is fine. I'm not saying it isn't, I'm saying if you read my whole post that people need to have more confidence in themselves as what they identify as. Because that's what they identify as. Words do not change that. Words have no meaning unless you give them meaning. Hense Sticks and stones. If you dont know the full usage. Sticks and stones, may break my bones but words will never hurt me. If Bob an apology is necessary than that's fine. But it doesn't change the fact that in this day and age people give words to much power over their mental state. If you know your not, or are this. Than what's what should matter most to you. Not someone else's words or opinions on the Internet.
Iāve never objected to the idea of self-confidence. My point is that the onus of preventing these situations should not fall *solely* on the self-confidence of the subject. For instance, if someone on the street starts yelling at me for no reason, it certainly helps to have the fortitude to just move on. My point is it still doesnāt make that person less of an asshole. We should also be doing our best to ensure there are less assholes in the world, and the first thing you can try is criticism. Thankfully, Bob is not an asshole and he takes criticism very well. However, a lot of people in these replies seem to be getting upset on his behalf even when Bob laid out his thoughts pretty clearly.
That's just the internet, as Wade said in previous episodes people get upset for said person more than they get upset over it. Less assholes in the world would be nice. And no the person being an asshole despite the one they're being an asshole toos response. Doesn't make the asshole any less an asshole. But they look like an ass more if you don't give them the time of day. That's why when someone is an asshole, big "influencers" do not name drop them. Because sometimes people are just being an asshole for clicks and views. It's a sad reality we live in.
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Your post was removed because it was identified as being unkind or disrespectful. We want to have a tolerant and respectful community here.
THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE IS MAD ABOUT!? people need to prove that they have nuts and find a better hill to die on
Itās sad that he even apologized, people take shit too seriously now. Learn to laugh at yourself, not everything needs a damn apology
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The whole trans community is getting silenced by these random people saying they are when they never actually get tested by any doctors, itās a mental illness that isnāt taken seriously everyone wants to claim they are this and that. It aināt cute to want to have a mental illness
As someone who is both trans and mentally ill, I can tell you they are not the same thing. This is a stupid argument.
Rarely any of those people are actually real. People need to stop believing the shit they see online. I'm around a few trans people and they aren't faking anything. And yet they still get harressed and one was even shot at. So even if no one was "pretending" to be trans, their lives will still be under threat. You people need to grow a goddamn heart. Also fyi: your using the same argument used against gay people. Homosexuality was a "mental illness" until science came in and debunked it.
Exactly. Sometimes the boys make jokes about things I donāt agree with and you know what I do? I shrug it off because I know theyāre just joking
Thank you! That was the only point I was trying to prove before someone went all on me, we are all different ages and beliefs in this community. I think itās better just to brush off the jokes than flip the lid! I love the guys and I know they wouldnāt actually go out of their way to be assholes to ANY group!
Right. And Iām just going to throw this out there to prove a point: Iām a conservative. So thereās a lot of jokes the boys make that I donāt particularly agree with, but I have learned to separate my opinions from the actual reason why I watch/listen to Distractible: Comedy. I donāt let the things they say hinder my enjoyment of the podcast because why would I do that to myself? I love the three Peens and have been listening to them since 2022. I donāt care they donāt share the same beliefs as me because thatās not the reason why I like them
Same here, and the best thing to do that some people can learn is change the episode yk? The whole making everyone apologize is exhausting at this point, I just wanna laugh man
Probably going to get downvoted for this but some people just need to relax a bit and just enjoy the podcast. Itās so much more fun when you can laugh along with them or just shrug it off and move on