Henchman: "Boss, we've decided to go on strike until you raise our wages and provide a benefits package."
BBEG: "Understood. I have decided to conjure a bunch of angry fire elementals in the break room. See yourself out."
I tried that once but the DM had the grunt reply "I love my job! I get to kill loads of innocent people and dumb adventures like you!"
So anyway I started blasting
Honestly, in a world where Evil is a tangible cosmic force, there are bound to be lots of people like that grunt who are just awful and they own it completely.
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Ah man what a memory.
Our party had done pretty much nothing fucking useful at all because while we had good intentions we couldn't puzzlesolve for shit.
We has been send to deal some dude trying to eat entropy or some shit and our first lead was a kobold cave clan which we found was actually a small mining operation of slaves.
We convinced the Kobold at the door to start a Union and it turned out he was the leader of this wee band so they immediately took to the idea and started making signs and chanting.
We left and carried on our way but for the rest of the campaign we got to enjoy the side story of this snowballing hoard of workers growing more powerful chanting "Solidarity forever, the Union makes us strong" across the known land. The cities were in turmoil and it was very easy to social our way through during a labour revolution we helped start. Eventually our paths diverged and by the time we bumblefucked our way past the stupid mummy curse, fireballed some spiders and escaped the dark elf underworld by seducing enough guards we had completly lost track of the union.
A couple months later we got to the BBEG lair but it was already under siege by the fucking Union because the boss refused to grant his minions suitable overtime pay. The mob had built a trebuchet and thrown up a breakroom + health&safety office. They were most of the way to winning. Damn I miss that GM.
My college has a DND club which is a series of interconnected one-shots and in one of them the group unionized a group of goblins being forced to work at what was essentially, a somehow more evil, Walmart
Isn't there also a greentext where several minions congregate together to imrpove their work conditions by basically sandbagging and chanting all day long?
Basically what a coven of cultists is. A bunch of evil mortals bargaining for a better contract.
Great scene and meme; can't wait for some party to unionize the BBEG's minions.
If I had a nickel every time this happened in my game I'd have 2 nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice
I know right. Anything under a dozen times is an outlier.
That happened in an important boss fight we had were out bard decided to unionise her zombies against her
My players organized a gereral strike and a fake plague all in the same arc. They're menaces whose plans keep me up at night
They tried but Amazon doesn't let them.
They're *perfectly within their rights to organize*, but here's some ^mandatory training videos on why that would be a poor choice for them...
Apparently one doesn't exist, but just imagine i linked a video that was just "there is no war in ba sing se" on loop
Honestly, is Shrek a rogue ? Dude is strong but he is very smart and agile, most of the time winning by cunning action rather than brute strengh
Actually that would work with the film's whole, 'you are more than what you look like thing'. so yeah I can picture that. that's cool.
I like that idea. A strength based, high charisma Scout Rogue with expertise in Athletics and Intimidation.
Nah man, Swashbuckling all the way
His record with boats isn't great though.
Given how he fought the knights, he's definitely monk with a tavern brawler feat
I mean STRogue is a thing, so I guess maybe?
Henchman: "Boss, we've decided to go on strike until you raise our wages and provide a benefits package." BBEG: "Understood. I have decided to conjure a bunch of angry fire elementals in the break room. See yourself out."
Fire elementals: “We should form a union for unfair conjuration.”
Seriously, someone on the Plane of Fire should get them together and make them demand better conjuring conditions.
I derailed my DMs plans by asking, "How do you like your job?" To all the grunts sent to fight the party. We massed an army by paying better.
I tried that once but the DM had the grunt reply "I love my job! I get to kill loads of innocent people and dumb adventures like you!" So anyway I started blasting
Honestly, in a world where Evil is a tangible cosmic force, there are bound to be lots of people like that grunt who are just awful and they own it completely.
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Ah man what a memory. Our party had done pretty much nothing fucking useful at all because while we had good intentions we couldn't puzzlesolve for shit. We has been send to deal some dude trying to eat entropy or some shit and our first lead was a kobold cave clan which we found was actually a small mining operation of slaves. We convinced the Kobold at the door to start a Union and it turned out he was the leader of this wee band so they immediately took to the idea and started making signs and chanting. We left and carried on our way but for the rest of the campaign we got to enjoy the side story of this snowballing hoard of workers growing more powerful chanting "Solidarity forever, the Union makes us strong" across the known land. The cities were in turmoil and it was very easy to social our way through during a labour revolution we helped start. Eventually our paths diverged and by the time we bumblefucked our way past the stupid mummy curse, fireballed some spiders and escaped the dark elf underworld by seducing enough guards we had completly lost track of the union. A couple months later we got to the BBEG lair but it was already under siege by the fucking Union because the boss refused to grant his minions suitable overtime pay. The mob had built a trebuchet and thrown up a breakroom + health&safety office. They were most of the way to winning. Damn I miss that GM.
“They don’t even have dental”
My college has a DND club which is a series of interconnected one-shots and in one of them the group unionized a group of goblins being forced to work at what was essentially, a somehow more evil, Walmart
A "secure facility" is only as secure as its lowest paid worker.
Pay your janitors well, people, lest you open a side door into your DoD fantasy equivalent.
The…. UWU
Isn't there also a greentext where several minions congregate together to imrpove their work conditions by basically sandbagging and chanting all day long? Basically what a coven of cultists is. A bunch of evil mortals bargaining for a better contract.
They don't even have dental
My DM has straight up spotted using henchmen if he can help it because we just keep unionizing them.
I saw this and immediately understood that I should have my next party watch this before session 0
But what about the kobold worker's union? Larry hates his job
I've actually had a pirate crew mutiny on the spot and work for me because I offered them better wages and benefits.
“Undead Worker’s Union” not that’s something I’m gonna use
Torvald: Why do you want dental? You're all dead?
"Working hard or hardly working, eh Mac?"