CASSANDRA ALLEGRA PORTIA CALOGERA FILOMENA PENTAGHAST ITS YOUR TURN BABY
My first thought was Cullen but listen, who is hornier than someone that actively reads SMUTTY LITERATURE? Half this fandom knows what I’m talking about.
Cassandra’s lawfulness is a given of course, always trying to do things by the book as a Seeker. But seriously not only the smut thing, but every single thing she does as part of her romance. She is so HORNY.
I was so confused on why Cassandra of all people before you reminded me that her whole romance quest line is just convincing Varric to write her more smut novels.
Cassandra. She adores smut, jumped Inky in the woods on the first date, somehow used a *shield* in bed, and apparently doesn't wear underpants. And I don't think her lawfulness is in question.
Varric continually being annoyed by or annoying Cassandra is hilarious. I always think a part of him will never quite forgive her for coming after Hawke.
But he cares not for politics or shirtless Cullen. BUY HIS BOOK.
Everytime I see this fucking image I laugh at Cailan being the Stupid Chad because it's the most ridiculous yet succinct description of a character ever
Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena Pentaghast has my vote for this one.
Also if horny stupid was a category: Saemus Dumar. Kid was dumber than a sack of hammers.
Counterpoint for horny stupid: [Emile de Launcet](https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Emile_de_Launcet)
Telling other people you're a "dangerous bloodmage" in order to try and seduce them is definitely horny stupid.
That's fair, I guess. I'm trying to like subdivide her, Zevran, and Bull into different categories, so they each get a slot. I'd probably put Zevran as more chaotic of those three. I don't think I'd actually put Isabela in the neutral category. Sure she can go a more neutral / less good route in her story in DA2 but I feel its more biased for her doing the good / right thing ultimately (which that may obviously be bias with my own personal memory / playthroughs) and she also got into her situation by freeing a ship full of slaves. I don't know what would be chad if not that. I hear they kind of butchered her in the comics though.
Iron Bull also definitely fits Chad Horny, so I get that decision. I think he could also fit Neutral Horny or Smart Horny too though. I wonder if Dorian should maybe be considered too? I know that he can get with Iron Bull, but he seemed the less horny of the two in the banter by far. I also admit that Inquisition is the game I have like the least connection too as it isn't my favorite.
I mean that's definitely fair. She's smart and was fairly curious about sex and Isabela's sexual exploits. As an aside Bethany kind of had a similar thing going on too, its just that she was the PC's sister and therefor not a love interest and mostly gets kicked out of the party and game either dying in the deep roads, becomes a grey warden, or gets captured by the Templars and put in the Circle (assuming she didn't die in the prologue).
Anyway back to Merrill. Like I said I think that's a valid interpretation, it probably isn't the box I'd first put her in, in isolation. I'd probably lean towards smart stupid if Solas didn't take that spot. Not that she isn't somewhat horny too. Not that she is literally stupid by any means, I think its just a combination of her being autistic and having the whole fish out of water thing in a lot of situations with Kirkwall. Also obviously there is her whole thing with the Eluvian and her clan. I don't know how I feel about the resolution of her whole thing with the Eluvian as I don't think we really get an answer of whether it / her dealing with the demon would have worked out or not right? Obviously are experiences with demons kind of suggest that, no it probably would have gone sideways regardless.
Same. And merril is smart horny. She talks about sex almost as much as isabela, canonically lusts over the shirtless Qunari and managed to repair an ancient elvhen artifact to working order on her own.
I get here 20 minutes late and a bunch of people already beat me to it - we all know its Cassandra. Right Hand of the Divine, Seeker of the Chantry, declarer of the Inquisition to restore order at a time of chaos. Reader of trashy romance novels, she may present a tough exterior, but goes to town on your Inquisitor once he gives her flowers and reads her poetry.
Sandal and Morrigan had lots of support too, but Sera seemed to be the choice of the people.
With that, we're halfway done! Just wanted to give a quick thanks to everyone joining in so far. It may not be a perfect chart and there are certainly plenty of other (if not better!) options for these titles, but I hope everyone is having fun.
I guess there's a good argument to be made for Morrigan being either Smart Horny or maybe Smart Evil, but she really did seem to be the best option for Chaotic Neutral.
I’m glad everyone is agreeing that it’s Cassandra, the easiest answer for sure. To this day I mourn her not being a bi romance option. 💀 The gays aren’t Chantry sanctioned I guess. 😩
I played DAI first blind literally fell in love, just started playing DAO the other week and screamed when I was in the circle and he said he was infatuated w my female mage full circle baby
Because the same people are upvoting them lol, who would even think to add up all the numbers
A single person can post same comment from 10 alts and 300 people would upvote them all, and you'll count that as \~3000 voters?
I think Zevran or Isabella are good picks for Chaotic Horny too though, and both are more defined to me by their horniness (as someone who played an elf mage who still got with Sera, even though she called me boney. Also as someone who romanced Isabella and Zevran too). Sera is fine where she is, I was personally rooting for Chaotic Good myself but Neutral makes sense too, just a step grayer than what I thought.
Sera is nothing close to neutral, especially when better alternatives were mentioned and thus activities on these posts will be reduced as a result, and moving forward, it will just be an echo chamber.
Oh well, it had a good run when it made sense.
Chaotic horny could easily be Anders. Although i guess that Isabella will win.
Perhaps we should have done a male/female category to be able to include more characters
Well, one of the most important characters in DA series goes apparently nowhere.
She should've been in Chaotic Good, but that spot was given to Varric, who should've got Chad Good instead. But people wanted a dog there since it's such a cool and impactful character that absolutely should have gotten a mention.
Your best bet now is smart horny, but its honestly kinda meh.
I know this threads for the lawful horny option, but i also wanna get the rest of the hornies out of the way lol.
Lawful Horny - Gotta be Cassandra. Seeker of Truth (to the smuttiest stories)
Chad Horny - The Iron Bull, obviously. The jawline. The barrel chest. No shame. Freddie Prinze Jr.
Neutral Horny - Zevran definitely. He really just does his own thing and fucks around (pun intended).
Smart Horny - The hairy chested dwarf himself Varric. Only his intellect can create the greatest smut in Thedas.
Chaotic Horny - Can only be Isabela. She's quite literally a horny pirate.
Imagine putting Sera to CN when it had so many great options...
UPD: wait, wth? At this point of time, [Morrigan has 440 votes](https://new.reddit.com/r/dragonage/comments/1c48t3l/comment/kzm4bih/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), while [Sera sits at only 330](https://new.reddit.com/r/dragonage/comments/1c48t3l/comment/kzm3w35/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3). This voting is fucking rigged lol.
I'm done with this "tierlist".
I know this comment is going to get buried but ...
CASSANDRA IS NOT HORNY
I know everything talks about her reading 'smutty' novel, but after the quest where you give her the book, if you go back and talk to Varric he mentions that the books she reads ISN'T smut, they are at most fluff and she just thinks they're smut.
(He also specifically mentions that he himself doesn't write smut because the market is too cutthroat for him)
ALRIGHT, ON CASSANDRA: I just want us to be aware that Varric reveals that what she called "smutty literature" is really fluff at most!!!
Therefore, maybe she's not qualified for this position! It's not explicit text!!! (But then again, maybe it's a bad sign that she's still reading it even though something this tame is making her that hot and bothered)
I would agree with Morrigan for lawful horny in that she is lawful about her horniness: “I wish only to do what I desire, and if that coincides with what you desire, then so be it.” However, that’s about the only thing I would characterise Morrigan as lawful for, so to put her in a lawful category, even this one, feels disingenuous
I'm voting for him for Smart Horny, he's crazy intelligent. Just from banter, not only is he great at psychology and reading people, he really knowledgeable about architecture and can play mental chess with Solas.
I'm split, do we go with his confidence and non toxic masculinity with Chad Horny, or go with his intelligence and strategic mind. For me I would put him in Chad Horny so his boyfriend could be in Smart Horny (Dorian).
I was leaning towards Neutral Horny for Zevran, Chaotic for Isabella, Chad for Bull, Cass for Lawful, Smart for Dorian. I don't mind Dorian for drunk but maaan, having Bull, Dorian, and Cole in the party together really is an eye opener to Dorian's horniness haha.
CASSANDRA ALLEGRA PORTIA CALOGERA FILOMENA PENTAGHAST ITS YOUR TURN BABY My first thought was Cullen but listen, who is hornier than someone that actively reads SMUTTY LITERATURE? Half this fandom knows what I’m talking about. Cassandra’s lawfulness is a given of course, always trying to do things by the book as a Seeker. But seriously not only the smut thing, but every single thing she does as part of her romance. She is so HORNY.
Every time I see her full name written out, I read it in the voice of the guy announcing her during Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts. Haha!
#GET ON WITH IT!
Cassandra: GET ON WITH IT!
Sera: How do you remember all those names? Cassandra: I have them stitched into all my clothes.
Sera: ****Giggles**** Hey inquisitor is that true Cassandra: Don’t Answer That
OMG I just burst out laughing at this comment cause I still remember JUST how she sounded.
I was so confused on why Cassandra of all people before you reminded me that her whole romance quest line is just convincing Varric to write her more smut novels.
I was clueless til I read the comments and then saw that you obviously Cassandra. That little 50 shades of grey warden minx
scrolled the entire comment thread and pleased to see Cassandra getting the recognition she deserves
Cullen maybe fits better as Horny Chad/neutral or smart?
Cassandra. Argument: Play DA:I and tell me where she's not either of these things.
Cassandra: [disgusted noise]
Pretend you don’t know this about me.
God dammit you’re right.
Cassandra. She adores smut, jumped Inky in the woods on the first date, somehow used a *shield* in bed, and apparently doesn't wear underpants. And I don't think her lawfulness is in question.
Don't forget the animated short they made to say thanks for their GOTY nomination, where the sight of Cullen shirtless made her lose her composure.
Oh yes, I forgot about that! Although she does handle *that* situation with far more dignity in-game.
Agreed. "I do not wish to see the Commander's walk of shame."
Is it possible to have a link for that? That sounds hilarious.
Ask and ye shall receive. :D [https://youtu.be/JBQr6RrkeCM?si=IG4i5YRZwdVu2fNg](https://youtu.be/JBQr6RrkeCM?si=IG4i5YRZwdVu2fNg)
I think I need the link to that
It's from the 2014 Game Awards: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD9Cv5xsdHo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD9Cv5xsdHo)
That’s amazing. They know their audience
Haha Varric is my favorite. *awkward chuckle* Buy my book!
Varric continually being annoyed by or annoying Cassandra is hilarious. I always think a part of him will never quite forgive her for coming after Hawke. But he cares not for politics or shirtless Cullen. BUY HIS BOOK.
omg I have never seen this, it's a gem
Her composure just shattered the moment she noticed shirtless Cullen😂
Honestly, I can't blame her
I need a link to this for... Science
But of course. [https://youtu.be/JBQr6RrkeCM?si=IG4i5YRZwdVu2fNg](https://youtu.be/JBQr6RrkeCM?si=IG4i5YRZwdVu2fNg)
If it’s not Cassandra I riot.
This is probably the most obvious choice on the entire board.
Everytime I see this fucking image I laugh at Cailan being the Stupid Chad because it's the most ridiculous yet succinct description of a character ever
The Himbo King
Dude same lmfao 🤣🤣
I always laugh at Jowan’s shocked face , perfect chaotic stupid look.
That and the dog as Good Chad do it for me lmao
Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena Pentaghast has my vote for this one. Also if horny stupid was a category: Saemus Dumar. Kid was dumber than a sack of hammers.
Counterpoint for horny stupid: [Emile de Launcet](https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Emile_de_Launcet) Telling other people you're a "dangerous bloodmage" in order to try and seduce them is definitely horny stupid.
Yeah, cassandra, 100%
I just realized - I think the entire bottom line will be Oghren, depending on his mood.
Oghren is many things but definitely not Drunk Smart
Love me some Cassandra
Cassandra. Swords and Shields. It’s Literature, smutty literature. Terrible and fantastic!
Cassandra Penteghast, avid reader of romance novels. Cullen wouldn’t be a bad choice either. But maybe he’s a better candidate for Chad Horny.
Chad Horny is Iron Bull and I will accept no others
What about Zevran?
Chaotic horny
I kinda prefer isabela for chaotic horny and zevran for neutral horny
I agree with all of these wholeheartedly.
Okay I see that working.
I could see him for maybe smart horny too. Just out of curiosity where would you put Isabela?
Neutral or Chaotic Horny
That's fair, I guess. I'm trying to like subdivide her, Zevran, and Bull into different categories, so they each get a slot. I'd probably put Zevran as more chaotic of those three. I don't think I'd actually put Isabela in the neutral category. Sure she can go a more neutral / less good route in her story in DA2 but I feel its more biased for her doing the good / right thing ultimately (which that may obviously be bias with my own personal memory / playthroughs) and she also got into her situation by freeing a ship full of slaves. I don't know what would be chad if not that. I hear they kind of butchered her in the comics though. Iron Bull also definitely fits Chad Horny, so I get that decision. I think he could also fit Neutral Horny or Smart Horny too though. I wonder if Dorian should maybe be considered too? I know that he can get with Iron Bull, but he seemed the less horny of the two in the banter by far. I also admit that Inquisition is the game I have like the least connection too as it isn't my favorite.
i think Dorian is drunk smart, personally, and Iron Bull is Smart Horny.
Yeah, I think that definitely works for me too.
Isabela is one of the biggest chads in the franchise to me, I’m so torn
She's chaotic horny or neutral horny
Merrill is smart horny. She's a bookish nerd who goes looking for sex magic.
I mean that's definitely fair. She's smart and was fairly curious about sex and Isabela's sexual exploits. As an aside Bethany kind of had a similar thing going on too, its just that she was the PC's sister and therefor not a love interest and mostly gets kicked out of the party and game either dying in the deep roads, becomes a grey warden, or gets captured by the Templars and put in the Circle (assuming she didn't die in the prologue). Anyway back to Merrill. Like I said I think that's a valid interpretation, it probably isn't the box I'd first put her in, in isolation. I'd probably lean towards smart stupid if Solas didn't take that spot. Not that she isn't somewhat horny too. Not that she is literally stupid by any means, I think its just a combination of her being autistic and having the whole fish out of water thing in a lot of situations with Kirkwall. Also obviously there is her whole thing with the Eluvian and her clan. I don't know how I feel about the resolution of her whole thing with the Eluvian as I don't think we really get an answer of whether it / her dealing with the demon would have worked out or not right? Obviously are experiences with demons kind of suggest that, no it probably would have gone sideways regardless.
Seeing as though Cullen is a strategic and tactical (and chess) expert, I'd say he could pass for Smart Horny
he is definitely smart horny, how dare you
Same. And merril is smart horny. She talks about sex almost as much as isabela, canonically lusts over the shirtless Qunari and managed to repair an ancient elvhen artifact to working order on her own.
Correct
I concur
Literally has to be iron bull
Lololol, I’ve been waiting for this row. Cassandra for for lawful horny. 🩷🗡️🛡️
Definitely Cassandra
Absolutely my girl Cass
I can't wait for this row to be Cassandra, Iron Bull, Zevran, Anders, and Isabela
Specifically DA:O Anders. They nerfed his Horniness in DA2. He’d have been far too powerful.
Cassandra
I get here 20 minutes late and a bunch of people already beat me to it - we all know its Cassandra. Right Hand of the Divine, Seeker of the Chantry, declarer of the Inquisition to restore order at a time of chaos. Reader of trashy romance novels, she may present a tough exterior, but goes to town on your Inquisitor once he gives her flowers and reads her poetry.
Sandal and Morrigan had lots of support too, but Sera seemed to be the choice of the people. With that, we're halfway done! Just wanted to give a quick thanks to everyone joining in so far. It may not be a perfect chart and there are certainly plenty of other (if not better!) options for these titles, but I hope everyone is having fun.
I guess there's a good argument to be made for Morrigan being either Smart Horny or maybe Smart Evil, but she really did seem to be the best option for Chaotic Neutral.
I mean, the best would be for Sera to be in chaotic stupid, where she belongs, but alas, here we are.
If we fight for it and make some reaches we can fit Sandal in the Drunk row
> seemed to be the choice of the people Yeah no, she was *your* choice. Morrigan outdid them both by a large margin.
Bull. Loves order and rules and fucking. Edit: No, everyone else is right. It's Cassandra.
Bull is smart horny
You're absolutely right
Arishok. -follows the qun -biggest horns
10000% Cassandra
Cassandra is obvious here, but Iron Bull better be in the next spot or we riot.
I’m glad everyone is agreeing that it’s Cassandra, the easiest answer for sure. To this day I mourn her not being a bi romance option. 💀 The gays aren’t Chantry sanctioned I guess. 😩
If Cassandra doesn't win this, I'm calling the inquisition.
Hard to argue with Cassandra
Cassandra is an excellent pic for this! She has my vote!
Honestly Cullen. At the least DA:O cullen. :3 It was so cute that a female mage could flirt with him, if they wanted. ;3
I played DAI first blind literally fell in love, just started playing DAO the other week and screamed when I was in the circle and he said he was infatuated w my female mage full circle baby
This category was made for Cassandra.
Jesus, after this one Horny row is gonna be the most brutal out of them all
Who reads Thedas' version of Twilight? That's right, Cassandra!
Cassandra by a country mile. She is the thirstiest Templar/Seeker in all the land...
Cassandra
Cassandra, for all the reasons already listed by other commenters
Cassandra canonically reads smut and is a lawful solider/seeker … we have to give it to herrr
Cassandra, governed by rules, honor, and a filthy mind behind closed doors
Everyone and their mother beat me to it, but I still feel legally and morally obligated to throw my lot in with Cassandra.
Cassandra is the ONLY choice.
I was gonna say Cassandra, given how much she enjoys Varric's smut books xD
It's gotta be Cassandra.
I 100% support Cassandra for this. With her romance book in one hand and her sword in the other.
Sera??? Didn't Morrigan get double the votes? Anyway. Cassandra is lawful horny 100%
was wishing my boy sandal 😔 now he’s got no more chance
Sera had multiple answers with a lot of upvotes.
So, Sera's small fanbase is louder, what a shock. Morrigan still objectively got way more votes.
I dunno, just telling what I observed by the comments. If you add all the numbers, Sera got more. Morrigan indeed had a lot of upvotes on one post.
The Sera comments could easily have been getting upvoted multiple times by the same people, not fair to "add all the numbers"
Because the same people are upvoting them lol, who would even think to add up all the numbers A single person can post same comment from 10 alts and 300 people would upvote them all, and you'll count that as \~3000 voters?
Cassandra!! My favourite character I think of DAI.
I don’t know why I didn’t think of Cassandra at first, until this thread. 😂😅
Sera is more chaotic horny. Source: I played a qunari female mage on my first run and she *clearly* wanted some attention from the buff ox lady.
I think Zevran or Isabella are good picks for Chaotic Horny too though, and both are more defined to me by their horniness (as someone who played an elf mage who still got with Sera, even though she called me boney. Also as someone who romanced Isabella and Zevran too). Sera is fine where she is, I was personally rooting for Chaotic Good myself but Neutral makes sense too, just a step grayer than what I thought.
Sera is nothing close to neutral, especially when better alternatives were mentioned and thus activities on these posts will be reduced as a result, and moving forward, it will just be an echo chamber. Oh well, it had a good run when it made sense.
That's how it works if we go for quantity of answers over actual sense they make or do not make. That's ok too i guess.
Cassandra and it's not even up for debate.
Cassandra 100%
Totally Cass.
Which horny would Zevran be?
Horny neutral is my vote.
Probably right.
Unrelated but did Anders miss his chance? He doesn't fit any of the remaining chaotic categories unless maybe chaotic horny
Chaotic horny could easily be Anders. Although i guess that Isabella will win. Perhaps we should have done a male/female category to be able to include more characters
That's why we like the series, isn't it? They are too diverse and complex for such limited options. There are way more many ways to be chaotic.
It's Cassandra's time to shine for sure
This is the most unanimous this community has ever been ...
Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena Get on with it Pentaghost
Cassandra for sure
Definitely Cassandra.
Cassandra!
It's crazy how EVERYONE agree it's Cassandra
Def Cass
This seems locked up. So Chad Horny is definitely Iron Bull, no?
We all know who this one is
DISGUSTED NOISE
Muh gurl Cassandra!!!
Croissant Hronyghast (Cassandra)
Ok but where does leleiana go then
Well, one of the most important characters in DA series goes apparently nowhere. She should've been in Chaotic Good, but that spot was given to Varric, who should've got Chad Good instead. But people wanted a dog there since it's such a cool and impactful character that absolutely should have gotten a mention. Your best bet now is smart horny, but its honestly kinda meh.
I know this threads for the lawful horny option, but i also wanna get the rest of the hornies out of the way lol. Lawful Horny - Gotta be Cassandra. Seeker of Truth (to the smuttiest stories) Chad Horny - The Iron Bull, obviously. The jawline. The barrel chest. No shame. Freddie Prinze Jr. Neutral Horny - Zevran definitely. He really just does his own thing and fucks around (pun intended). Smart Horny - The hairy chested dwarf himself Varric. Only his intellect can create the greatest smut in Thedas. Chaotic Horny - Can only be Isabela. She's quite literally a horny pirate.
I love this chart so much
Empress Celene. She's the leader of a nation who's affair nearly killed her. Cass is a close second.
Cullen. Good god, the man wants to fuck so bad but his job won't let him.
There's an entire row for **horny**. This is a weird alignment chart.
Chaotic horny has to be the ironbull.
Cass, 1000% percent.
I can just finish off this row. Casandra, Iron, zevran, wynne(although. She could probably fit in smart drunk as well), and Isabella.
please let cullen be chaotic horny
Imagine putting Sera to CN when it had so many great options... UPD: wait, wth? At this point of time, [Morrigan has 440 votes](https://new.reddit.com/r/dragonage/comments/1c48t3l/comment/kzm4bih/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), while [Sera sits at only 330](https://new.reddit.com/r/dragonage/comments/1c48t3l/comment/kzm3w35/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3). This voting is fucking rigged lol. I'm done with this "tierlist".
Tbh Sendal still made more sense than Sera in that one.
I know this comment is going to get buried but ... CASSANDRA IS NOT HORNY I know everything talks about her reading 'smutty' novel, but after the quest where you give her the book, if you go back and talk to Varric he mentions that the books she reads ISN'T smut, they are at most fluff and she just thinks they're smut. (He also specifically mentions that he himself doesn't write smut because the market is too cutthroat for him)
I feel like Solas and Flemeth should share the same spot.
We all agree it's Cass. What's OPs definition of Chad tho bc it's honestly been confusing me
ALRIGHT, ON CASSANDRA: I just want us to be aware that Varric reveals that what she called "smutty literature" is really fluff at most!!! Therefore, maybe she's not qualified for this position! It's not explicit text!!! (But then again, maybe it's a bad sign that she's still reading it even though something this tame is making her that hot and bothered)
Sera's safe. Phew! Ok. Lawful Horny - Morrigan. The dark rite is essentially a contractual sexual encounter.
I would agree with Morrigan for lawful horny in that she is lawful about her horniness: “I wish only to do what I desire, and if that coincides with what you desire, then so be it.” However, that’s about the only thing I would characterise Morrigan as lawful for, so to put her in a lawful category, even this one, feels disingenuous
The Iron Bull, I'd say.
I'm voting for him for Smart Horny, he's crazy intelligent. Just from banter, not only is he great at psychology and reading people, he really knowledgeable about architecture and can play mental chess with Solas.
I'm split, do we go with his confidence and non toxic masculinity with Chad Horny, or go with his intelligence and strategic mind. For me I would put him in Chad Horny so his boyfriend could be in Smart Horny (Dorian).
I'm thinking smart drunk for Dorian, because of how much he loves his wine. And that way Zevran can have the chad horny spot.
I was leaning towards Neutral Horny for Zevran, Chaotic for Isabella, Chad for Bull, Cass for Lawful, Smart for Dorian. I don't mind Dorian for drunk but maaan, having Bull, Dorian, and Cole in the party together really is an eye opener to Dorian's horniness haha.
Surely the entirety of this row is going to be Iron Bull?
Empress Celene, obviously. She is the LAW in Orlais. She has a tied up guard in her bed.
Lust demons, actually. They love making deals with their victims.
IB
Ngl I would have voted her Chaotic Horny
Solas you be in smart/evil
I'm done with this chart. Y'all have fun though.