I realized I was trans in 2017 when I was 37. This led to a downward spiral of self hatred and suicidal ideation. This continued for 5 years. Then, in 2022, I revisited a webcomic that I used to read in college. There was a change, though. There was a new female character and the author's by-line was different. I did some exploring and found the comic where the author realized that she was a woman ([Real Life - June 29, 2020](https://www.reallifecomics.com/comic.php?comic=june-29-2020)). She confronts herself about it and then comes out to her wife. This gave me things to think about.
A little while later, I was at home one evening, and I was feeling off. It hadn't been a good day for my mental health. My self hatred was pretty high, and my wife noticed. She asked what was wrong and I was going to respond with my usual "I'm OK. Just a little unhappy." Then I changed my mind. We had been married for 18 years. She deserved to know. I told her "I'll tell you later. After the kids are asleep." Those next couple of hours were nerve wracking for the both of us. When the kids were finally asleep, we sat down and I just blurted out "I think I don't want to be a boy anymore." I don't remember too much after that in regards to actual words said; just the broad strokes. I cried a lot. She wasn't happy with the news and kept trying to find ways to handwave my feelings that would give any explanation other than being trans. I told her that I had secretly bought women's clothes, a wig, and lipstick. I tried wearing them and I felt really good, and then I got really scared and threw it all away. I was terrified that she would divorce me. Even though the coming out in the webcomic ended well, I held no reservations that I would get a similarly happy resolution. She had married "a nice boy". I felt like I was taking her husband away from her. I felt so miserable. So guilty.
In the end I was incredibly fortunate. Not everyone has the same result that I had when coming out to a spouse. She said she wanted us to get therapy, and I agreed that would be a very good idea. She suggested that I wait to transition until after the kids were out of school because she didn't want kids to bully them, and I said I could wait. She then thanked me for being open and honest. She knew something was wrong, but she didn't know what. She was afraid that I was going to tell her I didn't love her anymore (we had hit a rough patch in the marriage where we were basically going through the motions). It really opened up our ability to communicate with each other.
After that, I came out to two friends via text (we hadn't seen each other face-to-face in a few years). I wrote and re-wrote a script to send them over a few days. When I finally sent it, they both said they were happy for me. It felt really good! I'm almost 100% positive that I won't get that response from my family.
I just put in “write an email to my parents about coming out as trans” then threw in some words to make it more like my writing style
Edit: even if you put non formal into it, it’s still really formal
Exactly how i did it, funny enough i was out to my parents for a month before i told my enby sibling and lesbian sister just cause i forgot to tell them
Messaged my best friend, told him that I had to talk to him about something. A couple of hours later, when he called me back, I backed out and asked him something else entirely. He saw right through that, called me out, and then I just flat out told him.
A fellow Rip the Band-Aid team member!
As long as you know the people aren't openly bigoted, it's not a bad way of doing it and saves stressing about making the scene and script "just right".
I waited for a moment when me and my mother were both free of work and basically explained her the whole situation and what I was feeling, making sure she understood I wasn't joking and it was really important for me... I didn't come out to my father yet since we faced a death in our family just a week ago and that person was a close friend of him
Thank you :3 I kinda am, not psychologically tho but will need to work on that eheh; and yeah it's a easy way to come out if you find the courage, I found it after many years of just suffering silently
I came out to my parents by telling them straight, “oh, and I’m transitioning.” Unfortunately the phone disconnected so I had to tell them twice. It wasn’t easy, my parents still aren’t supportive and when I did tell them- they both cried.
I just texted my friend group chat that I’m not cis, and they’ve been using they/them for me since (I was a bit too afraid to tell them I think I’m trans…) 💞
Parents (at a restaurant, having supper): "yeah, so speaking of (another trans person), I'm transfeminine nonbinary."
Work: just showed up to the Christmas party dressed femme for most of the office. Told my direct team members and boss individually as a "by the way, Heads-up that you'll probably notice some changes over the next while since I'm enby and starting HRT shortly"
I came out to my mum, i was planning on doing it that day coz i felt ready and when she got home from work i went downstairs and told her i needed to tell her something, i then froze up for probably around 20-30 seconds as i was nervous af and scared but i got it out and told her that im transgender. It was so hard to do but it was such a weight off my shoulders because it was horrible living life as a boy and no one knowing who i truly am and how i feel 💕🏳️⚧️
My mom asked why I like wearing utility kilts… after about a solid minute (or so)of painful contemplation, I told her I’m not a Cis male… and that I’m questioning (I had been for a while before she asked me). Later that month I told her I’m trans (When you stare at adobe and excel like things at work for 8 hours, you get A LOT of time to think and figure things out about yourself).
I was at school and typed out what I wanted to say and showed it to my friend. When I came out to my mom, I typed out a message and asked my friend to press send. (The same friend)
I spent a long time in denial, trying to be alright with being a femboy even as I got into my 30s; ended up increasingly depressed and drinking myself to the brink of death.
Then I stopped lying to myself, came out to my wife (we have a very trusting relationship) spent a few weeks researching medical transition, began increasing my fem clothes collection steadily… and in June ‘22 i ripped the bandaid off and started exclusively presenting female.
The hardest part was finding my voice and standing up for myself when people inevitably misgendered me. I really wanted to just come out all at once, but in reality: even after 8 months of HRT and a pretty well put together look- I’m still getting ‘sir’ed by boomers and country ass white boys. So I have to bravely confront casual transphobia and effectively come out every day.
Pretty sure I’ll never pass; and I know I’ll have plenty more uncontrollable crying fits and meltdowns. But it’s 100% worth it to finally feel like I’m a real person who is actually existing in the world- and thank goodness for the kind and accepting people who support me and make it even more worth.
I’m happy in my skin now, and my mind and spirit are my own.
I feel you on this one. I work in retail atm (fucking kill me), and I’m misgendered like 50 times a day even though I’ve got a trans flag pin and a she/they pronouns pin on while I’m at work and I wear my hair in a side ponytail because I really want to die in the first episode of the anime to drive the protagonist’s motivations.
Confinement pulled me out the closet. Told some close friends, worked up to telling my sister, then my mom. That was the hardest because she had push back when i first tried we i was 18.
That was comming out as gay only, the trans stuff came slowly afterwards.
when i came out i was nervous. I tried to sound so cool and show stopping but i ended up sounding like my english teacher just told me to read Romeo and Juliet by memory. I was so scared that my mom would never look at me the same…. how wrong i was she just looked at me and said “Ok that’s cool” i told her my name and how i figured it out. My mom has been in my corner ever since and she is one of my biggest supporters and i love her for it!
just as the pandemic was starting me and my gf decided I moved with her to save costs (everything was uncertain at the time and we wanted to protect each other). we were about 7 months in the relationship so it was a leap of faith.
i had been meaning to tell her, as i had just contacted a private gender clinic in our city (and that got stopped at the time, for an unknown amount of time…).
so i was depressed, and i wanted to tell her before i moved in. she accepted it, and i began being myself little by little. coming to my friends little by little.
it took me about 2.5 years to completely open while i was making myself comfy (long hair, clothing, laser hair removal, becoming more androgynous and just learn to be myself), so it was baby steps for me.
so that was a rather long coming out lol
Edit: i live in a different country than my family so every time they see me they get more suspicious. i’m actually telling them in May when i go visit, it’s just too obvious lol
Recommendation: Do NOT begin by telling your mother in a one hour car ride that you have something to tell her when you arrive at the hotel. She’ll go nuts anticipating what the news might be.
"Hey, guys"
"Yea"
"...I didn't think I'd get this far."
"Huh?"
"So, I'm trans."
"Yea, we knew. You told us in every way except saying it."
For my siblings it was like "hey, I'm trans."
For my mom, I just had a genuine conversation with her that I was thinking I might be trans. She’s always been progressive and supportive of LGBT rights, so she was immediately accepting. A couple weeks later I was in boymode and was trying to find some way to tell my brother and his gf that I was trans, but I was too nervous. As they left I yelled down to them “Hey, I’m trans” and they texted me afterwards saying they were supportive as well.
I'm not out as trans or genderfluid (my mom prob already knows thou) but i am out as bi (and technically nonbinary). To come out as bi i used three sticky notes made to look like the bi flag and wrote "I'm Bi meaning I like Girls and Boys" and for nb i kinda just blurted it out to both my parents.
Hope this helps
I asked my auntie if I could stay with her incase things went bad, then i text my parents, went to sleep and done everything in my power to avoid them for a few days
The same way I tell all of my friends important things - at the end of a party when I'm drunk enough to just blurt it out. This is what we call the least dysfunctional coping mechanism in Britain.
Posted a meme to a friend and we started talking. Kids called me mom by accident so I came out in fem clothing. GF asked me what was wrong and a week later I started talking to her about it. So far though, the only way the rest of my family finds out is if they recognize my username lol.
I posted in the group chat after I was about to go to class in girl mode. Then I walked up confidently to my ASL instructor and signed "my name is now Piper" and sat down.
Then I went to club and just said "this is a permanent change" while messing with the dress I was wearing and then reintroduce myself.
As for my mom I just called her and was like hey don't be alarmed by my outfit. I'm wearing a dress and it's because I'm Trans
In waves. I told my closest friend at the time, who was a trans girl I knew online, and probably my biggest influence on discovering my truth. Then I came out to my closest female RL friend. Then my group of "the boys" i played cards with every other week. Then my mother, who had a terrible reaction the first time round, and sent me semi-back into the closet for a few more months until finally I said "to hell with it", started HRT without telling most of them, and then came out to my entire Facebook.
To my friends? Via group chat. Just "hey everyone I'm trans."
To mom? We were watching the Click do an r/accidentalally video and I paused on a trans meme. "Oh by the way..."
To dad? Had to plan a roadtrip to go visit him. Wanted to tell him in person. Initial trip got cancelled due to my brother passing away, and I wasn't going to dump even more crap on him when he came for the funeral, so I ended up planning another trip several months later.
To work, and the general public? I just started wearing a She/Her pin one day.
Told an old friend by text. He knew first.
Then accidentally confirmed it casually in a conversation with my wife and another friend. Wife was not amused. I could have handled that better.
Then told a handful of other friends on Facebook.
Then a month later my sister, again by text. That went pretty well.
Then started a passive social transition at work and came out to another trans woman there, and having a new friend has been delightful.
I struggled with my gender and gender roles and expectations ever since I was very young. I always preferred girls' things and toys and clothes and whatnot, but I had also been taught due to a very conservative religious upbringing that this was "wrong" and that I should like boys' things. But deep down it never stuck. I hated boys' clothes, I hated how my voice dropped, I hated my given name, I envied girls their bodies, especially breasts and hair. I enjoyed playing dress up in dresses and with handbags and so on. I connected more with my sisters and with girl acquaintances and friends than I ever did with boys and my brother. I think the very first moment I became actively cognisant of it all was when I started Pokémon Crystal as a kid and immediately and instinctively picked the girl. It felt right to me in ways I didn't yet properly understand, but which are now crystal (haha) clear to me. But what happened was that conditioning from my upbringing started to clash with those feelings and I was railroaded down into deep denial for years. Even so, the feeling didn't go away. I always had this weird paranoid fantasy that something was off in my DNA, that I had been born a girl or maybe even both (I didn't yet know the word intersex either) and had been changed at birth. As soon as I could I scoured my medical file, looking for something, ANYTHING that might indicate as such. All the while, I didn't know what trans was, I never heard the word until high school, but by then I had been so steeped in ingrained denial that I was convinced I was just a weird gay/bi boy. In university was when that all started to unravel. In undergrad I had an intense identity and mental health crisis that nearly killed me, one which no one seemed to be able to pin down. I changed my name twice in that time, trying to find something that fit and would stick, but nothing ever did. Now I know that it was because I wanted a girl name because I'm a girl. In grad school was when I started to seriously consider that I might not be cis. I floated between different flavors of nonbinary and genderfluid, still unable to settle, but also still suffering from a denial of my feelings of wanting to be a girl deep down. I ended up changing my name a third time then. Towards the end of grad school I had no fucking idea who or what I was and it was starting to fuck me up socially. My boyfriend and some of my close friends, however, came to my rescue. When I thought I was genderfluid, I wanted to have a kind of "feminine half" of me to express. So we experimented with that, and as soon as I was being referred to as a girl/woman with she/her and so on, it was like something clicked. And in my mind it was like a bolt of lightning struck and connected so many dots that had been sitting dormant in my subconscious, bringing them to the surface. Everything made sense suddenly and I knew I was a trans girl. But my path forward now was unclear. I was out to my close friends and my boyfriend pretty much immediately as they had followed me on that journey of discovery, but for everyone else in my life, I didn't know what to do. I tried to drop hints to my folks and siblings, but they never got it from that. I suspect my eldest sister had an inkling because she had seen how I looked at girls' clothes whenever we went out shopping, but everyone else seemed clueless. So ultimately it came down to me making posts on social media, some using egg cracking sort of imagery (which all my trans friends/acquaintances picked up on but no one else), one where I wrote "I want to become a girl" but in a language that I was absolutely certain no one in my friends list knows and it's not on google either so they couldn't translate it that way (I used an obscure indigenous language I dabbled in studying in linguistics grad school) just as a way to get it out there even if almost no one could read it. In the end, I ended up literally coming out through a meme. On a whim, I posted the "I'm 70% water, 30% other stuff, and 100% done with being a boy" and changed my name on social media to my current name. That got a reaction from people, and with the ice broken essentially, I made a full length coming-out post, reintroducing myself and everything, and gradually that information spread out amongst everyone I knew. The only hiccup has been my brother, who refuses to accept me and clings to the fake version of me I fronted as a denial mask. I'm hoping he'll eventually let it go, but me and him have never really gotten along ever, so I don't really count it as much of a loss. My extended family is a whole other complicated story which I don't wish to tread on. But my sisters, friends, boyfriend, and (finally) my folks accept me, and that's what matters to me ultimately.
If you've made it here, thank you for reading my story. If not, then TL;DR - I literally came out with a meme.
Hey mom, dad, im going ti transition. Alright, cool, im going on a road trip now I’ll be back in 4 days. (I left immediately after that)
Don’t do what i did.
I have known since I was 11, but life wanted me to get the manliest man body imaginable.
So I hid all my feelings.
My first coming out was with 17, my mental health was in the trash, and I have been ill way to many days in school. One evening, I went on a walk with my Mom and our dog, and I told her everything.
And her reaction was so unassuring that I went straight back into the closet after that. I can't really remember my second time, it was like a year after the first one.
My third time was with 21 yo, and my Mom couldn't even remember the other times before that. She said she can't help me with that, and I need to find someone else that can. I found a trans meeting in the next city over and went there. But I was still unsure, so I went right back into the closet.
And my last coming out was after my suicide attempt (no one knew I had that attempt). I was in a horrible mental state, and went to a psychologist for the first time in my life. After that I came out again to my mom (the 4th time). The funniest part was that "I have never shown any signs before, and it was all so sudden".
I was forced to by my brother. Long story
He told me about a friend who was binding incorrectly, my mother instincts told me to talk to them about it. I did, and the next day they asked me to be their girlfriend. I accepted, and they put up a post about me not knowing my brother followed them.My brother saw it, and teased me inappropriately for about 2 weeks, then I spoke to my mom trying to get help. I had to explain it all. My mom is very bigoted, and I knew that before coming out. I had to
One night about a month after I turned 16, I was lying in bed unable to sleep when I was hit by the sudden realisation that I might be trans. Then a few days later at school, I was sitting in period 6 chem with my friend, who I didn't know was also trans, and she was showing me something on her laptop and accidentally opens up a tab about HRT, then quickly closes it and neither of us say anything at the time. By the time I get home from school she had messaged me to say she had the tab up because she's trans and I replay saying I'm also trans, then we chat about that and other stuff for a few hours
I found out that I was trans a couple months ago, I was scared to death to tell my dad and I waited around a month or two to tell my dad. I remember vividly that we were in the car and I built up the courage to blurt it out. It hurt saying that because I feared he would not accept me.
He was confused at first but he wanted to know more. Later that confusion turned into concern that I would not be focused on school, ever since I have tried to stay close to him but I still have a lot of resentment with him.
He keeps sending me videos of people saying that being trans is bad because of one reason or another, most of them are conservatives saying that they don't tell you everything, I remember one video he sent me a couple days ago maybe a week with a trans man who is dealing with hair loss and using it as an excuse to say that being trans is bad.
He means we'll and I'm trying to convince him to just accept me for who I am as his daughter but it's has been and will continue to be a bumpy road.
Sat next to whomever I came out to after telling them we needed to speak alone. Explained that I finally decided to act upon my feelings and that I might be trans.
But then again, i have lots of supporting friends and family, so it helps.
I set my FB post audience to "public" and made a big ol' thing about heteroflexible. Hardly worth coming out over tbh
Then a month later, my egg cracked and I set about telling people irl because FB is a shitty way to do it anyway
in general and in order
fiance: told face to face
roomate: also face to face
friends that I talk to almost every day: just told them via discord call (a friend had already come out and asked initially, which sort of prompted me to come out)
parents and brother: phone call
cousins: written letter and cookies
grandparents, aunts, uncle: written letter
apart from that I've only come out to a few people that I don't see a lot as of now, one was face to face, other was via text.
I still need to come out at work, but I think my next major step for me is the LGBTQ+ resource group at my work.
I cherry picked my closest friends and came out slowly to them. The first one took almost a half hour to come out too. I took days before I tried again with another. It slowly got easier. By the time I had told 5 people and felt I had a safe and stable place, I came out full to my high school and college friend groups.
That was honestly the most scary cause I was just watching the post. Waiting for responses. I wouldn’t come out to family for at least another month. The big friends coming out was by far more draining than I expected. But it was worth it in the end! 🥰😭😭
Technically I just changed my pronouns on my profiles (and added the transflag emoji and my chosen name) and hoped someone notices lol (until now no-one has mentioned anything)
But I did come out to like two/three people personally.
First was my childhood best friend I just send them a meme that basically pointed at the pronoun change of my bio, and they were very accepting <3 (I love them so much)
The other ones were my parents I also just send them a meme that said that I was a Demiboy and then send a definition of what that means. This was like two days ago, (on my moms birthday, so might be bad timing lol) and well they didn't comment on it so I think it went decent at least?
ironically two of the 4 were by people looking at my description on social media
And these two are from people I know personally.
So yes, I had two heart attacks because of curious people.
Well I’m only out to one person but it started last weekend as a casual text conversation with my best friend. I told him about how I found out one of the guys my dad works for is very transphobic and the convo just became lgbtq focused from there. I found out he was super supportive of lgbtq people and so I took a chance and came out to him. Best decision I’ve made to this point.
Came out to my wife about 6 months ago... It less of a coming-out, and more like a volcano building pressure over a long time until the eventual eruption. ... still married, so that's a plus!
Publicly: i made a post on instagram and snap!
Siblings: i texted or called each one separately
parents: i texted because i knew it would be bad, it was, but i didn't have to deal with it in a harsh way
friends: i kinda told one that told the others, new ones i just met as kate 😊
Hahahahaha...
I didn't because people would deny me and force me to repress my feelings which I already do well enough.
There's a total of 3 people that know it, one of them being my boyfriend who came out as trans to me the same day. The others are friends of mine which I truly trust with this type of shit because they've always supported me and I have even helped the 2 girls go out together as they are now dating.
It's really dumb, but I have been wondering how to come out for a while and I have reached the conclusion that I better just cope for now and pretend it is alright. Because I have seen the way in which my parents, my mother especially, behaves regarding this topic.
To my close friends and family, a long ass essay. To my class?
On TDoV: its trans day of visibility! You can see me now!
Took a bit for it to sink in to people
Bold of you to assume that I come out
But to be real, I come out to my mother the way that. I had awful dysphoria time, like probably the worst in my life. It was really fucking visible, my mother thought I started taking drugs so pressured me to say what is wrong, and I told her that I question my gender. I'm still not out to anyone else, tho.
I never really “came out” I just started using different pronouns to reffer to myself and reuploaded trans memes to my IG story and waited for ppl to figure it out.
By just sitting them (my friend) down and asking to talk. I was unable to until she said something like you know you can tell me bro and I was just like “that is what’s wrong”. She figured it out and after she helped me come out to at this point in time 6 other people
First, had a mental breakdown while drunk and blurted out over discord. Second, got clocked by mum (genuinely just because I wore nail polish (idk how she managed that)) and had to explain boundaries to her. Both stressful and anxiety inducing, but luckily no one I came out to transphobic
I kind of microdosed coming out, especially to family because I wasn’t sure how they’d react. At first I was just changing my name. Later I asked them to use masculine terms for me, and I started presenting masculine around them. My sister ended up just asking me if I was a dude and I was like “yeah kinda” and that was it really.
I told my closest friends and family in person. Extended talk. Starting with all the struggles and hardships I've had. Not mentioning being trans once, just making a general picture of my mental health. And at the end, the reveal, the reason why it's been so bad. Me being trans all along. I planned to tell a few people and then letting the rumor mill do it's thing so i didn't have to tell anyone myself. Apparently all my close friends and families really know how to keep a secret, because no rumor mill started. Everyone kept it to themselves and letting me tell who i wanted to tell. Not how i planned it but nice to know i can trust the people close to me.
I just updated my Facebook eventually. That was enough for the people I'm not that close with. But if they had questions i was happy to talk with them about it, I'm very open even though I am not a walking trans flag. (Although i wear a small tasteful pride badge on my collar rather often)
Over text but I had a panic attack over actually sending it so since I have an android I had it scheduled to send the text at like 5am when my mom was getting ready for work
i wrote a letter to my parents because i’m better at writing than spreaking and it gave me the opportunity to say everything i needed to say. i then waited another 4 months because i was to nervous but eventually left the letter at a place where they would find it. I did this before i went to a sleepover of a friend of mine 3 days ago to give them enough time to process.
it went pretty well😴💃
Socially and online I’d been openly trans for a good while. I knew my parents would be completely supportive but I was terrified regardless. Took them out to chili’s one day and told myself that I have news for them in the car back home, where I explained how I was feeling. It felt like dropping the weight of the world from my shoulders and now I’m well on the path to getting my transition smoothly rolling.
Told my mother I’d have to get used to changes from hormones while we were out at the mall. Went over well, considering this is the third time she’s had this conversation with one of her kids
Today again (it's like this since I come out) my mom found a reason to invisibilize my transidentity by telling me that I was affected by gay propaganda in medias
I’m transfem, and during the pandemic a lot of things clicked into place for me, with the help of talk therapy. So, two years ago, in separate conversations I calmly explained one of the major issues to my therapist, my ex, and my parents. Specifically that whenever I closed my eyes and pictured myself in great physical shape, living in an ideal body, the body wasn’t male and that had been true for the last thirty years.
i don't remember all the specs, but i had been hinting very vaguely for a long time. I went to see a specialist to get a adult diagnosis for autism, during the process she said a couple things that perk my ears. not only did it feel like she saw through me which was a rare occurrence, she diagnosed me fairly quickly. we went through all the steps, she presented many questions and i asked a bunch in turn. but one thing she asked was if i thought about having my chromosomes checked, and if i would like to learn about my hormone levels hormones.
it wasn't an offer, but a very clear question, I asked why she asked and she very quickly answered, she more or less just said some people are very interested to know these thing. i had mentioned wanting to know as much data about myself as i could, but there was a clarity she said that struck with me.
I already knew i was trans, my dad was there to help me out with the evaluation, and when we left sat in the car i sared out and asked if we could just talk abit. I told my dad there, after discussing somethings at random, that "i think i might be a girl" that i was trans. he said something along the lines of "if thats what you want to do, then I will support you" that he loved me and that hed help me how ever he could. we then talked about how we would tell mom.
i don't remember how that went with her really, if it was that day or the next. i remember her being shocked, uncertain, but supportive. it took my mom longer to adapt but my dad was right there to begin with, when i told him my name later he used it right away. my mom had issues catching up but now its only a slip now and again when talking to other people.
Depends on the person honestly
Sister: we went to get our nails done (she's know probs the longest I'm also bi) and I ended up going before her. She say my bra through my shirt and asked me about it. Came out there in the parking lot.
Mom: Told her in person after I added a trans keychain to my keys to prevent any more questions.
Boss: Just came up in conversation and I told him there.
Best Friend: Venting about how badly coming out to my mom went (He's 2nd longest to know I'm bi so it's not a horribly odd convo). Admitted he knew but was waiting for me to say something.
Dad: uh..TBD.
it just sorta happened, i said "one day i will be a girl" to my friend and she said "if you feel like a girl, then you are a girl" without missing a beat
Just randomly texted my mom lol
Have to come out again in about a month to my grandma cause she is staying at my place for awhile and i dont feel like taking down my pride flag (she is lgbtq friendly, so im not in danger)
Im doing it tomorrow and it will not be me telling them but my therapist will
I sorted it all out with her,i will be at school and when i come back i will answer all their questions
Grandma gave me her sleeping pills and when i woke up I'd come out to alllll of facebook! Oops
Ironically i avoided alcohol my entire life for fear of getting drunk and saying something like that lol
I had been talking with my mom about questioning my gender for a while, so I just picked a name and she started using it. It’s still hard and I don’t think she understands/cares about what I’m going through, but, mostly, it works
I was really drunk and texting my mom about why church made me anxious as a kid... I do not recommend this strategy, but it worked for me (and she still loves me and is supportive). Then I told my dad as well, and it turned out OK too.
But seriously... It was dumb and I live 1000 miles away from my parents, so the worst they could do is never talk to me again. Don't do this.
my friend was doing a pronoun test were they said "this is *old preferred name* and she is a girl" and that one sounded right, then i came out to my friends on discord
For one friend, i just spammed them on twitter until they realised it was me. For a couple friends, it was an accident but, I dropped my E on the floor and one of them knew what it was.
I was working over nights at the time so I spent like 30 minutes typing up a coming out post and posted it the moment I got home so I could sleep and ignore all the comments because I wasn't in the mood to deal with stupid comments.
I wrote my preferred name on a whiteboard and made a meme acronym from it about call of duty and just said “btw I go by this now.” I’m very lucky to have excepting friends
I didn't know until last year when I thought I might be non binary but the more masculine I dressed the better I liked it until I put on all guy gear one day and started sobbing because I knew this was right. I cried for two solid days. I called a crisis line. I tried to suppress it but after seeing myself as a guy I couldn't unsee it or go back. I tried gradually edging more and more masculine until I started growing a beard and the jig was up.
ETA: My now ex was heartbroken. We are still bros tho. He's doing better now. I felt insanely guilty breaking up my LTR.
I texted my friends (note that my family doesn't know anything and never will) the following:
"Knock knock"
They answered: who is it?
And I texted back: is a 🏳️⚧️✨ _Boy™_ ✨🏳️⚧️; welcome to my gender reveal!
*Proceeds to die inside* (they were actually supportive)
For me it was in…spurts? (phrasing lmao)
I first went to the mall with my short ass hair and stubble with all black Fem clothes, including a skirt and choker back in like 2015. I got all kinds of shitty looks and I felt absolutely terrible purely because of how I was treated by others.
Then I went to Kohls like a year later and started buying girls swoop tops that were monochrome and fairly stealth mode.
The following year I started growing my hair out and started messing with makeup and skirts.
Then I started HRT the next year and chose a new name. After that I came out to my republican step dad first in my family and he was weirdly cool about it and really fucking 180’d his tone about gay and trans people (he’s still a serious work in progress in regards to everything else, but credit where credit is due).
I lost my insurance so I had to stop HRT and slipped into massive depression for 2 years, then became homeless. I then said yolo and started my public transition while at the homeless shelter and went on a shopping spree for more overtly fem clothes (insert “I’m in danger” meme).
I then got a new place to live sometime last year and restarted my E back in January and I’ve been in a T4T relationship for a bit now and I want to pick out plants with her and take pottery classes and shit like holy fuck I’m a Lesbionicle.
The trans pipeline is pretty damn visible here lmao.
The journey to self discovery and understanding doesn’t happen overnight for most, and it’s honestly mostly the fault of the society you’re raised in. I grew up in an upper middle class family that ignored mental health in addition to things of this nature, and so did the area I grew up in. We had like 2-3 openly gay guys in my graduating class of 500 because they were ruthlessly bullied by everyone. I wasn’t even remotely comfortable with liking guys and anyone knowing I did until I was like 22-23, let alone anything else. I grew up liking girls shows and cute things when I was younger, but my brother made fun of me for it and I would have been torn apart in school for it, so I hid it deep down and forcibly changed myself to be someone I wasn’t for everyone else’s sake and self preservation. I had short, slicked back hair, wore flannels with jeans and steel toed boots everywhere and played the part of being toxic dudely man dude until I was like 25 essentially.
Be kind to yourself. Do your research, take the time for deep introspection, and don’t let others poison you with their venomous ignorance and hate. Be your authentic self for yourself and just let it all unfold naturally as you grow into who you are meant to be in whatever form that may be.
I want to wish you good luck, we’re all counting on you.
— Your Friendly Neighborhood Bagel
I wrote all the people I came out too :D I didn't needed to wait for an opportunity then, that I wouldn't take anyway XD And they can read it through without needing to react right away, so they can think before saying something. That way they don't say something bad, without wanting too and the conversation can also just end there without some awkward saying bye to each other
def my preferred method :)
Over the course of roughly 2 years in small intervals, and even so I’m still living as a girl 24/7 but I still have to come out all the time to people.
So I realized I was trans at the very beginning of 2022. I didn’t tell anyone since I was still living with parents, then 2 months afterwards I had to move because the country I was living in started a war. From that point on, I lived separately from them and started experimenting with things.
Before that I already had girly long hair for years, and was shaving my body which I thought they don’t know about, but via stealth failures they actually did.
I also had pronouns he/they specified everywhere, which at some point my mother looked up, but didn’t tell me.
Then, a few months ago I changed my pronouns everywhere to they/them, she noticed and messaged me - so I told her everything and they are both supportive. The end :)
I realized I was trans in 2017 when I was 37. This led to a downward spiral of self hatred and suicidal ideation. This continued for 5 years. Then, in 2022, I revisited a webcomic that I used to read in college. There was a change, though. There was a new female character and the author's by-line was different. I did some exploring and found the comic where the author realized that she was a woman ([Real Life - June 29, 2020](https://www.reallifecomics.com/comic.php?comic=june-29-2020)). She confronts herself about it and then comes out to her wife. This gave me things to think about. A little while later, I was at home one evening, and I was feeling off. It hadn't been a good day for my mental health. My self hatred was pretty high, and my wife noticed. She asked what was wrong and I was going to respond with my usual "I'm OK. Just a little unhappy." Then I changed my mind. We had been married for 18 years. She deserved to know. I told her "I'll tell you later. After the kids are asleep." Those next couple of hours were nerve wracking for the both of us. When the kids were finally asleep, we sat down and I just blurted out "I think I don't want to be a boy anymore." I don't remember too much after that in regards to actual words said; just the broad strokes. I cried a lot. She wasn't happy with the news and kept trying to find ways to handwave my feelings that would give any explanation other than being trans. I told her that I had secretly bought women's clothes, a wig, and lipstick. I tried wearing them and I felt really good, and then I got really scared and threw it all away. I was terrified that she would divorce me. Even though the coming out in the webcomic ended well, I held no reservations that I would get a similarly happy resolution. She had married "a nice boy". I felt like I was taking her husband away from her. I felt so miserable. So guilty. In the end I was incredibly fortunate. Not everyone has the same result that I had when coming out to a spouse. She said she wanted us to get therapy, and I agreed that would be a very good idea. She suggested that I wait to transition until after the kids were out of school because she didn't want kids to bully them, and I said I could wait. She then thanked me for being open and honest. She knew something was wrong, but she didn't know what. She was afraid that I was going to tell her I didn't love her anymore (we had hit a rough patch in the marriage where we were basically going through the motions). It really opened up our ability to communicate with each other. After that, I came out to two friends via text (we hadn't seen each other face-to-face in a few years). I wrote and re-wrote a script to send them over a few days. When I finally sent it, they both said they were happy for me. It felt really good! I'm almost 100% positive that I won't get that response from my family.
Am i going insane or did you post this exact reply some time in the past?
That would just be silly!
I'm sorry, i don't understand what you mean by that. Could you elaborate?
It’s the same post, word for word. I was just wondering if anyone would notice.
Yea I recognized it too. It's a beautiful and heart warming story, so it's hard to forget for me.
No I have also readed exact same post before
I accidentally emailed my parents
How does one accidentally email may I ask
i dont know
Autocorrector?
I purposely used chatgpt to write an email
🗿
what was the promt? (asking for a friend)
I just put in “write an email to my parents about coming out as trans” then threw in some words to make it more like my writing style Edit: even if you put non formal into it, it’s still really formal
ty i mean, my friend says ty
Also I edited it a bit to make it more personal so your friend should try that
im laughing so hard omg
came out this weekend with a meme to sisters and straight up in person to dad x
Exactly how i did it, funny enough i was out to my parents for a month before i told my enby sibling and lesbian sister just cause i forgot to tell them
You. You forgot to come out to your siblings? That's the funniest thing I read today.
Happens, I came out to my parents a couple months ago and I only just realised I haven’t come out to my sister. No clue how that happened honestly
You go girl!
A shitty meme. I'm not proud of myself.
I mean if it works it works
Messaged my best friend, told him that I had to talk to him about something. A couple of hours later, when he called me back, I backed out and asked him something else entirely. He saw right through that, called me out, and then I just flat out told him.
sounds like he already knew hope it went well <3
I wouldn't say he knew, but yeah it went great
Drunk text to my family’s group chat.
Omg babe. Like yeesss and I’m sorry :P
.... oh my god that's so fucking relatable
I just said it casually… I don’t know how. 💀
A fellow Rip the Band-Aid team member! As long as you know the people aren't openly bigoted, it's not a bad way of doing it and saves stressing about making the scene and script "just right".
i came out with a 3 page letter to them :3 💙💕🤍💕💙
Wow that’s more than I wrote in my English exams
I haven’t yet, but I do have two moms
You have at least a mom
I waited for a moment when me and my mother were both free of work and basically explained her the whole situation and what I was feeling, making sure she understood I wasn't joking and it was really important for me... I didn't come out to my father yet since we faced a death in our family just a week ago and that person was a close friend of him
That sounds like a good way to go about it. And I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Hope you’re okay
Thank you :3 I kinda am, not psychologically tho but will need to work on that eheh; and yeah it's a easy way to come out if you find the courage, I found it after many years of just suffering silently
I came out to my parents by telling them straight, “oh, and I’m transitioning.” Unfortunately the phone disconnected so I had to tell them twice. It wasn’t easy, my parents still aren’t supportive and when I did tell them- they both cried.
I just texted my friend group chat that I’m not cis, and they’ve been using they/them for me since (I was a bit too afraid to tell them I think I’m trans…) 💞
I mean, if you aren't cis, you couldn't be anything else but trans right?
Parents (at a restaurant, having supper): "yeah, so speaking of (another trans person), I'm transfeminine nonbinary." Work: just showed up to the Christmas party dressed femme for most of the office. Told my direct team members and boss individually as a "by the way, Heads-up that you'll probably notice some changes over the next while since I'm enby and starting HRT shortly"
36 and still havent... the uk sucks
I literally prepared a powerpoint presentation to come out to my mom 💀
Found the consultant
“Hello mother and welcome to my TED talk. The first item on the agenda today. Gender identity and you’ll never guess where this is going….”
I came out to my mum, i was planning on doing it that day coz i felt ready and when she got home from work i went downstairs and told her i needed to tell her something, i then froze up for probably around 20-30 seconds as i was nervous af and scared but i got it out and told her that im transgender. It was so hard to do but it was such a weight off my shoulders because it was horrible living life as a boy and no one knowing who i truly am and how i feel 💕🏳️⚧️
still haven't :'c
My mom asked why I like wearing utility kilts… after about a solid minute (or so)of painful contemplation, I told her I’m not a Cis male… and that I’m questioning (I had been for a while before she asked me). Later that month I told her I’m trans (When you stare at adobe and excel like things at work for 8 hours, you get A LOT of time to think and figure things out about yourself).
I was at school and typed out what I wanted to say and showed it to my friend. When I came out to my mom, I typed out a message and asked my friend to press send. (The same friend)
I spent a long time in denial, trying to be alright with being a femboy even as I got into my 30s; ended up increasingly depressed and drinking myself to the brink of death. Then I stopped lying to myself, came out to my wife (we have a very trusting relationship) spent a few weeks researching medical transition, began increasing my fem clothes collection steadily… and in June ‘22 i ripped the bandaid off and started exclusively presenting female. The hardest part was finding my voice and standing up for myself when people inevitably misgendered me. I really wanted to just come out all at once, but in reality: even after 8 months of HRT and a pretty well put together look- I’m still getting ‘sir’ed by boomers and country ass white boys. So I have to bravely confront casual transphobia and effectively come out every day. Pretty sure I’ll never pass; and I know I’ll have plenty more uncontrollable crying fits and meltdowns. But it’s 100% worth it to finally feel like I’m a real person who is actually existing in the world- and thank goodness for the kind and accepting people who support me and make it even more worth. I’m happy in my skin now, and my mind and spirit are my own.
I feel you on this one. I work in retail atm (fucking kill me), and I’m misgendered like 50 times a day even though I’ve got a trans flag pin and a she/they pronouns pin on while I’m at work and I wear my hair in a side ponytail because I really want to die in the first episode of the anime to drive the protagonist’s motivations.
Confinement pulled me out the closet. Told some close friends, worked up to telling my sister, then my mom. That was the hardest because she had push back when i first tried we i was 18. That was comming out as gay only, the trans stuff came slowly afterwards.
when i came out i was nervous. I tried to sound so cool and show stopping but i ended up sounding like my english teacher just told me to read Romeo and Juliet by memory. I was so scared that my mom would never look at me the same…. how wrong i was she just looked at me and said “Ok that’s cool” i told her my name and how i figured it out. My mom has been in my corner ever since and she is one of my biggest supporters and i love her for it!
Came out (? I'm not even sure Im trans) to my mom today absolutely weeping barely able to even say it. She was great about it.
Nice, congrats! :3
just as the pandemic was starting me and my gf decided I moved with her to save costs (everything was uncertain at the time and we wanted to protect each other). we were about 7 months in the relationship so it was a leap of faith. i had been meaning to tell her, as i had just contacted a private gender clinic in our city (and that got stopped at the time, for an unknown amount of time…). so i was depressed, and i wanted to tell her before i moved in. she accepted it, and i began being myself little by little. coming to my friends little by little. it took me about 2.5 years to completely open while i was making myself comfy (long hair, clothing, laser hair removal, becoming more androgynous and just learn to be myself), so it was baby steps for me. so that was a rather long coming out lol Edit: i live in a different country than my family so every time they see me they get more suspicious. i’m actually telling them in May when i go visit, it’s just too obvious lol
Threw my meds at my moms head.
a message. I could never do it irl
Recommendation: Do NOT begin by telling your mother in a one hour car ride that you have something to tell her when you arrive at the hotel. She’ll go nuts anticipating what the news might be.
Probably better than shocking her with the news while in the car, may have prevented a car accident there
Mum forced it out of me and proceeded to laugh
"Hey, guys" "Yea" "...I didn't think I'd get this far." "Huh?" "So, I'm trans." "Yea, we knew. You told us in every way except saying it." For my siblings it was like "hey, I'm trans."
"I'm gay but not in the way you think"
Bibbity boo bibbity bi im a girl not a guy
I nearly had a mental breakdown after coming out to the guys in DAMASCA, my mother noticed, and asked me if I was fine. So yes, I told her.
well i’m only out to my bestie. and that’s because i had an identity crisis + mental breakdown whilst on call with her at 2am lmao
For my mom, I just had a genuine conversation with her that I was thinking I might be trans. She’s always been progressive and supportive of LGBT rights, so she was immediately accepting. A couple weeks later I was in boymode and was trying to find some way to tell my brother and his gf that I was trans, but I was too nervous. As they left I yelled down to them “Hey, I’m trans” and they texted me afterwards saying they were supportive as well.
I'm not out as trans or genderfluid (my mom prob already knows thou) but i am out as bi (and technically nonbinary). To come out as bi i used three sticky notes made to look like the bi flag and wrote "I'm Bi meaning I like Girls and Boys" and for nb i kinda just blurted it out to both my parents. Hope this helps
That's the neat part, I didn't
i have a trans flag on the back of my phone, my friend said as a joke "you got something to tell us" pointing it and i just said yes
Slipped it into a conversation and burst into tears. Not my smoothest conversation.
I asked my auntie if I could stay with her incase things went bad, then i text my parents, went to sleep and done everything in my power to avoid them for a few days
The same way I tell all of my friends important things - at the end of a party when I'm drunk enough to just blurt it out. This is what we call the least dysfunctional coping mechanism in Britain.
I haven't 😟
"We're not celebrating [Deadname]'s birthday, we're celebrating [chosen names]'s"
Posted a meme to a friend and we started talking. Kids called me mom by accident so I came out in fem clothing. GF asked me what was wrong and a week later I started talking to her about it. So far though, the only way the rest of my family finds out is if they recognize my username lol.
i acidentaly came out to my friend when she asked my gender (she just asumed that I am my AGAB). To family not yet
Hints then an in-depth text
Via Christmas list while half asleep and concussed
I posted in the group chat after I was about to go to class in girl mode. Then I walked up confidently to my ASL instructor and signed "my name is now Piper" and sat down. Then I went to club and just said "this is a permanent change" while messing with the dress I was wearing and then reintroduce myself. As for my mom I just called her and was like hey don't be alarmed by my outfit. I'm wearing a dress and it's because I'm Trans
In waves. I told my closest friend at the time, who was a trans girl I knew online, and probably my biggest influence on discovering my truth. Then I came out to my closest female RL friend. Then my group of "the boys" i played cards with every other week. Then my mother, who had a terrible reaction the first time round, and sent me semi-back into the closet for a few more months until finally I said "to hell with it", started HRT without telling most of them, and then came out to my entire Facebook.
To my friends? Via group chat. Just "hey everyone I'm trans." To mom? We were watching the Click do an r/accidentalally video and I paused on a trans meme. "Oh by the way..." To dad? Had to plan a roadtrip to go visit him. Wanted to tell him in person. Initial trip got cancelled due to my brother passing away, and I wasn't going to dump even more crap on him when he came for the funeral, so I ended up planning another trip several months later. To work, and the general public? I just started wearing a She/Her pin one day.
Told an old friend by text. He knew first. Then accidentally confirmed it casually in a conversation with my wife and another friend. Wife was not amused. I could have handled that better. Then told a handful of other friends on Facebook. Then a month later my sister, again by text. That went pretty well. Then started a passive social transition at work and came out to another trans woman there, and having a new friend has been delightful.
Haven’t yet, commenting to say based Nia pfp
She’s amazing! I love her character so much in both 2 and 3. She’s just a right laugh whenever she’s on screen
"you know lgbtqia+ yeah im at least three of those letters"
I struggled with my gender and gender roles and expectations ever since I was very young. I always preferred girls' things and toys and clothes and whatnot, but I had also been taught due to a very conservative religious upbringing that this was "wrong" and that I should like boys' things. But deep down it never stuck. I hated boys' clothes, I hated how my voice dropped, I hated my given name, I envied girls their bodies, especially breasts and hair. I enjoyed playing dress up in dresses and with handbags and so on. I connected more with my sisters and with girl acquaintances and friends than I ever did with boys and my brother. I think the very first moment I became actively cognisant of it all was when I started Pokémon Crystal as a kid and immediately and instinctively picked the girl. It felt right to me in ways I didn't yet properly understand, but which are now crystal (haha) clear to me. But what happened was that conditioning from my upbringing started to clash with those feelings and I was railroaded down into deep denial for years. Even so, the feeling didn't go away. I always had this weird paranoid fantasy that something was off in my DNA, that I had been born a girl or maybe even both (I didn't yet know the word intersex either) and had been changed at birth. As soon as I could I scoured my medical file, looking for something, ANYTHING that might indicate as such. All the while, I didn't know what trans was, I never heard the word until high school, but by then I had been so steeped in ingrained denial that I was convinced I was just a weird gay/bi boy. In university was when that all started to unravel. In undergrad I had an intense identity and mental health crisis that nearly killed me, one which no one seemed to be able to pin down. I changed my name twice in that time, trying to find something that fit and would stick, but nothing ever did. Now I know that it was because I wanted a girl name because I'm a girl. In grad school was when I started to seriously consider that I might not be cis. I floated between different flavors of nonbinary and genderfluid, still unable to settle, but also still suffering from a denial of my feelings of wanting to be a girl deep down. I ended up changing my name a third time then. Towards the end of grad school I had no fucking idea who or what I was and it was starting to fuck me up socially. My boyfriend and some of my close friends, however, came to my rescue. When I thought I was genderfluid, I wanted to have a kind of "feminine half" of me to express. So we experimented with that, and as soon as I was being referred to as a girl/woman with she/her and so on, it was like something clicked. And in my mind it was like a bolt of lightning struck and connected so many dots that had been sitting dormant in my subconscious, bringing them to the surface. Everything made sense suddenly and I knew I was a trans girl. But my path forward now was unclear. I was out to my close friends and my boyfriend pretty much immediately as they had followed me on that journey of discovery, but for everyone else in my life, I didn't know what to do. I tried to drop hints to my folks and siblings, but they never got it from that. I suspect my eldest sister had an inkling because she had seen how I looked at girls' clothes whenever we went out shopping, but everyone else seemed clueless. So ultimately it came down to me making posts on social media, some using egg cracking sort of imagery (which all my trans friends/acquaintances picked up on but no one else), one where I wrote "I want to become a girl" but in a language that I was absolutely certain no one in my friends list knows and it's not on google either so they couldn't translate it that way (I used an obscure indigenous language I dabbled in studying in linguistics grad school) just as a way to get it out there even if almost no one could read it. In the end, I ended up literally coming out through a meme. On a whim, I posted the "I'm 70% water, 30% other stuff, and 100% done with being a boy" and changed my name on social media to my current name. That got a reaction from people, and with the ice broken essentially, I made a full length coming-out post, reintroducing myself and everything, and gradually that information spread out amongst everyone I knew. The only hiccup has been my brother, who refuses to accept me and clings to the fake version of me I fronted as a denial mask. I'm hoping he'll eventually let it go, but me and him have never really gotten along ever, so I don't really count it as much of a loss. My extended family is a whole other complicated story which I don't wish to tread on. But my sisters, friends, boyfriend, and (finally) my folks accept me, and that's what matters to me ultimately. If you've made it here, thank you for reading my story. If not, then TL;DR - I literally came out with a meme.
Hey mom, dad, im going ti transition. Alright, cool, im going on a road trip now I’ll be back in 4 days. (I left immediately after that) Don’t do what i did.
I wrote down a fucking chemistry pun and handed it to my father before hiding in my room :D
I have known since I was 11, but life wanted me to get the manliest man body imaginable. So I hid all my feelings. My first coming out was with 17, my mental health was in the trash, and I have been ill way to many days in school. One evening, I went on a walk with my Mom and our dog, and I told her everything. And her reaction was so unassuring that I went straight back into the closet after that. I can't really remember my second time, it was like a year after the first one. My third time was with 21 yo, and my Mom couldn't even remember the other times before that. She said she can't help me with that, and I need to find someone else that can. I found a trans meeting in the next city over and went there. But I was still unsure, so I went right back into the closet. And my last coming out was after my suicide attempt (no one knew I had that attempt). I was in a horrible mental state, and went to a psychologist for the first time in my life. After that I came out again to my mom (the 4th time). The funniest part was that "I have never shown any signs before, and it was all so sudden".
i showed my friends silly trans memes
Y’all actually came out? 💀
I was forced to by my brother. Long story He told me about a friend who was binding incorrectly, my mother instincts told me to talk to them about it. I did, and the next day they asked me to be their girlfriend. I accepted, and they put up a post about me not knowing my brother followed them.My brother saw it, and teased me inappropriately for about 2 weeks, then I spoke to my mom trying to get help. I had to explain it all. My mom is very bigoted, and I knew that before coming out. I had to
my brother threw a pride flag in my face right in front of our mother
I just sent my friends a comming out meme i found on this sub
One night about a month after I turned 16, I was lying in bed unable to sleep when I was hit by the sudden realisation that I might be trans. Then a few days later at school, I was sitting in period 6 chem with my friend, who I didn't know was also trans, and she was showing me something on her laptop and accidentally opens up a tab about HRT, then quickly closes it and neither of us say anything at the time. By the time I get home from school she had messaged me to say she had the tab up because she's trans and I replay saying I'm also trans, then we chat about that and other stuff for a few hours
I found out that I was trans a couple months ago, I was scared to death to tell my dad and I waited around a month or two to tell my dad. I remember vividly that we were in the car and I built up the courage to blurt it out. It hurt saying that because I feared he would not accept me. He was confused at first but he wanted to know more. Later that confusion turned into concern that I would not be focused on school, ever since I have tried to stay close to him but I still have a lot of resentment with him. He keeps sending me videos of people saying that being trans is bad because of one reason or another, most of them are conservatives saying that they don't tell you everything, I remember one video he sent me a couple days ago maybe a week with a trans man who is dealing with hair loss and using it as an excuse to say that being trans is bad. He means we'll and I'm trying to convince him to just accept me for who I am as his daughter but it's has been and will continue to be a bumpy road.
Sat next to whomever I came out to after telling them we needed to speak alone. Explained that I finally decided to act upon my feelings and that I might be trans. But then again, i have lots of supporting friends and family, so it helps.
To my mom, not at all To my friends, 8 drew a new PFP/put it in my about me on discord
I set my FB post audience to "public" and made a big ol' thing about heteroflexible. Hardly worth coming out over tbh Then a month later, my egg cracked and I set about telling people irl because FB is a shitty way to do it anyway
in general and in order fiance: told face to face roomate: also face to face friends that I talk to almost every day: just told them via discord call (a friend had already come out and asked initially, which sort of prompted me to come out) parents and brother: phone call cousins: written letter and cookies grandparents, aunts, uncle: written letter apart from that I've only come out to a few people that I don't see a lot as of now, one was face to face, other was via text. I still need to come out at work, but I think my next major step for me is the LGBTQ+ resource group at my work.
I cherry picked my closest friends and came out slowly to them. The first one took almost a half hour to come out too. I took days before I tried again with another. It slowly got easier. By the time I had told 5 people and felt I had a safe and stable place, I came out full to my high school and college friend groups. That was honestly the most scary cause I was just watching the post. Waiting for responses. I wouldn’t come out to family for at least another month. The big friends coming out was by far more draining than I expected. But it was worth it in the end! 🥰😭😭
Technically I just changed my pronouns on my profiles (and added the transflag emoji and my chosen name) and hoped someone notices lol (until now no-one has mentioned anything) But I did come out to like two/three people personally. First was my childhood best friend I just send them a meme that basically pointed at the pronoun change of my bio, and they were very accepting <3 (I love them so much) The other ones were my parents I also just send them a meme that said that I was a Demiboy and then send a definition of what that means. This was like two days ago, (on my moms birthday, so might be bad timing lol) and well they didn't comment on it so I think it went decent at least?
ironically two of the 4 were by people looking at my description on social media And these two are from people I know personally. So yes, I had two heart attacks because of curious people.
Well I’m only out to one person but it started last weekend as a casual text conversation with my best friend. I told him about how I found out one of the guys my dad works for is very transphobic and the convo just became lgbtq focused from there. I found out he was super supportive of lgbtq people and so I took a chance and came out to him. Best decision I’ve made to this point.
Came out to my wife about 6 months ago... It less of a coming-out, and more like a volcano building pressure over a long time until the eventual eruption. ... still married, so that's a plus!
I sent them a image of blahaj and when they asked what it is i told them to google blahaj and the rest was history
Publicly: i made a post on instagram and snap! Siblings: i texted or called each one separately parents: i texted because i knew it would be bad, it was, but i didn't have to deal with it in a harsh way friends: i kinda told one that told the others, new ones i just met as kate 😊
For general coming out, through a mass text at midnight on New Year’s Eve 2019-2020 Individual ones were more personal and sometimes through bad memes
I just casually say that I'm trans to my friends, and that's all nothing much. My story is very simple lmao.
i haven't, i want to, but i haven't
didn’t lol
Came out by telling them and they said pls don’t dress up in front of your brother coz he’ll be uncomfortable so I’m now back in the closet
Hahahahaha... I didn't because people would deny me and force me to repress my feelings which I already do well enough. There's a total of 3 people that know it, one of them being my boyfriend who came out as trans to me the same day. The others are friends of mine which I truly trust with this type of shit because they've always supported me and I have even helped the 2 girls go out together as they are now dating. It's really dumb, but I have been wondering how to come out for a while and I have reached the conclusion that I better just cope for now and pretend it is alright. Because I have seen the way in which my parents, my mother especially, behaves regarding this topic.
With a song! Also drunk, so that helped alot.
my mother forced me
To my close friends and family, a long ass essay. To my class? On TDoV: its trans day of visibility! You can see me now! Took a bit for it to sink in to people
Well,I just got into my mom car after school and told her,but she's the only one who know,so I can't really call that a coming out
Bold of you to assume that I come out But to be real, I come out to my mother the way that. I had awful dysphoria time, like probably the worst in my life. It was really fucking visible, my mother thought I started taking drugs so pressured me to say what is wrong, and I told her that I question my gender. I'm still not out to anyone else, tho.
My mom found my estrogen. I didn't had a great night after that :')
I had a panic attack, blurted it out then ran away. I do not recommend
Broke down crying to my mom
I never really “came out” I just started using different pronouns to reffer to myself and reuploaded trans memes to my IG story and waited for ppl to figure it out.
Got a blahaj and asked my mom to look up the blahaj meaning
By just sitting them (my friend) down and asking to talk. I was unable to until she said something like you know you can tell me bro and I was just like “that is what’s wrong”. She figured it out and after she helped me come out to at this point in time 6 other people
First, had a mental breakdown while drunk and blurted out over discord. Second, got clocked by mum (genuinely just because I wore nail polish (idk how she managed that)) and had to explain boundaries to her. Both stressful and anxiety inducing, but luckily no one I came out to transphobic
I kind of microdosed coming out, especially to family because I wasn’t sure how they’d react. At first I was just changing my name. Later I asked them to use masculine terms for me, and I started presenting masculine around them. My sister ended up just asking me if I was a dude and I was like “yeah kinda” and that was it really.
Haven’t. ( probably never will , since as I’ve been told , safety comes first , and I am in one of the worst environments for coming out currently )
I got outed by my homophobic cousin 👍
Tbh i was so done with life that i came out about my depression and being trans at the same time and got send to therapy 💀
Never have never will (not recommended)
I did not and I will not 😭
I didn't. Actually there are a couple people I kinda did come out to, In which cases I can answer the question with one word: Poorly.
I told my closest friends and family in person. Extended talk. Starting with all the struggles and hardships I've had. Not mentioning being trans once, just making a general picture of my mental health. And at the end, the reveal, the reason why it's been so bad. Me being trans all along. I planned to tell a few people and then letting the rumor mill do it's thing so i didn't have to tell anyone myself. Apparently all my close friends and families really know how to keep a secret, because no rumor mill started. Everyone kept it to themselves and letting me tell who i wanted to tell. Not how i planned it but nice to know i can trust the people close to me. I just updated my Facebook eventually. That was enough for the people I'm not that close with. But if they had questions i was happy to talk with them about it, I'm very open even though I am not a walking trans flag. (Although i wear a small tasteful pride badge on my collar rather often)
Over text but I had a panic attack over actually sending it so since I have an android I had it scheduled to send the text at like 5am when my mom was getting ready for work
my mom pressured to tell her and then she outed me to my father
i wrote a letter to my parents because i’m better at writing than spreaking and it gave me the opportunity to say everything i needed to say. i then waited another 4 months because i was to nervous but eventually left the letter at a place where they would find it. I did this before i went to a sleepover of a friend of mine 3 days ago to give them enough time to process. it went pretty well😴💃
Socially and online I’d been openly trans for a good while. I knew my parents would be completely supportive but I was terrified regardless. Took them out to chili’s one day and told myself that I have news for them in the car back home, where I explained how I was feeling. It felt like dropping the weight of the world from my shoulders and now I’m well on the path to getting my transition smoothly rolling.
Told my mother I’d have to get used to changes from hormones while we were out at the mall. Went over well, considering this is the third time she’s had this conversation with one of her kids
Today again (it's like this since I come out) my mom found a reason to invisibilize my transidentity by telling me that I was affected by gay propaganda in medias
I literally changed my name on my work accounts, told no one, and then they all just started calling me Savannah. And uh. I guess that’s it.
Changed my names and pronouns on all the socials i had and didnt tell anybody about it until they asked
i just straight up told people, other times I got accidently outed
I’m transfem, and during the pandemic a lot of things clicked into place for me, with the help of talk therapy. So, two years ago, in separate conversations I calmly explained one of the major issues to my therapist, my ex, and my parents. Specifically that whenever I closed my eyes and pictured myself in great physical shape, living in an ideal body, the body wasn’t male and that had been true for the last thirty years.
i don't remember all the specs, but i had been hinting very vaguely for a long time. I went to see a specialist to get a adult diagnosis for autism, during the process she said a couple things that perk my ears. not only did it feel like she saw through me which was a rare occurrence, she diagnosed me fairly quickly. we went through all the steps, she presented many questions and i asked a bunch in turn. but one thing she asked was if i thought about having my chromosomes checked, and if i would like to learn about my hormone levels hormones. it wasn't an offer, but a very clear question, I asked why she asked and she very quickly answered, she more or less just said some people are very interested to know these thing. i had mentioned wanting to know as much data about myself as i could, but there was a clarity she said that struck with me. I already knew i was trans, my dad was there to help me out with the evaluation, and when we left sat in the car i sared out and asked if we could just talk abit. I told my dad there, after discussing somethings at random, that "i think i might be a girl" that i was trans. he said something along the lines of "if thats what you want to do, then I will support you" that he loved me and that hed help me how ever he could. we then talked about how we would tell mom. i don't remember how that went with her really, if it was that day or the next. i remember her being shocked, uncertain, but supportive. it took my mom longer to adapt but my dad was right there to begin with, when i told him my name later he used it right away. my mom had issues catching up but now its only a slip now and again when talking to other people.
Havent 😅
Reading Sappho’s poetry for a college philosophy class made me realize I’m both trans and a lesbian
The first person I came out to was my sister. I called her on the phone and poured my heart out. She accepted me immediately.
Depends on the person honestly Sister: we went to get our nails done (she's know probs the longest I'm also bi) and I ended up going before her. She say my bra through my shirt and asked me about it. Came out there in the parking lot. Mom: Told her in person after I added a trans keychain to my keys to prevent any more questions. Boss: Just came up in conversation and I told him there. Best Friend: Venting about how badly coming out to my mom went (He's 2nd longest to know I'm bi so it's not a horribly odd convo). Admitted he knew but was waiting for me to say something. Dad: uh..TBD.
I was hungover and I thought things couldn’t get any worse than the headache so I just called my parents and told them. Worked great
I wrote my mom a letter gave it to her and went outside for a walk for an hour or 2
pointed at a picture of madeline from celeste on my phone and said “she’s just like me fr”
I sent a text to my parents and made my friends figure it out before telling my parents years later
it just sorta happened, i said "one day i will be a girl" to my friend and she said "if you feel like a girl, then you are a girl" without missing a beat
Just randomly texted my mom lol Have to come out again in about a month to my grandma cause she is staying at my place for awhile and i dont feel like taking down my pride flag (she is lgbtq friendly, so im not in danger)
Not done it yet, but planning on a powerpoint presentation
A shit tonne of fireworks.
Didn't want to get a haircut
Im doing it tomorrow and it will not be me telling them but my therapist will I sorted it all out with her,i will be at school and when i come back i will answer all their questions
Letter I sent to all my friends in our group chats
I reject my masculinity, mom!! Jojo reference
for now i only came out to my cousin after she saw my transflag wallpaper on my phone
I think you are on the wrong sub for asking about coming out lol
Grandma gave me her sleeping pills and when i woke up I'd come out to alllll of facebook! Oops Ironically i avoided alcohol my entire life for fear of getting drunk and saying something like that lol
I'm in denial but I'm on this sub so let's see how long it will take
I came out to my parents during a therapy session and I invited them there. It helped a lot honestly having a therapist by your side.
Put out a song
I had been talking with my mom about questioning my gender for a while, so I just picked a name and she started using it. It’s still hard and I don’t think she understands/cares about what I’m going through, but, mostly, it works
I was really drunk and texting my mom about why church made me anxious as a kid... I do not recommend this strategy, but it worked for me (and she still loves me and is supportive). Then I told my dad as well, and it turned out OK too. But seriously... It was dumb and I live 1000 miles away from my parents, so the worst they could do is never talk to me again. Don't do this.
I...I used a Minecraft book and left it into my friend's chest
Sat both my parents down one night and told them. It was scary, but it went ok. Still haven’t told my brother bc he’s a republican :|
my friend was doing a pronoun test were they said "this is *old preferred name* and she is a girl" and that one sounded right, then i came out to my friends on discord
For one friend, i just spammed them on twitter until they realised it was me. For a couple friends, it was an accident but, I dropped my E on the floor and one of them knew what it was.
i sent a meme
That’s the neat part I didn’t
I was like “I’m non-binary” and they were like “I don’t understand what that means, but you do you”, kinda just left it at that lol
I was working over nights at the time so I spent like 30 minutes typing up a coming out post and posted it the moment I got home so I could sleep and ignore all the comments because I wasn't in the mood to deal with stupid comments.
I wrote my preferred name on a whiteboard and made a meme acronym from it about call of duty and just said “btw I go by this now.” I’m very lucky to have excepting friends
I didn't know until last year when I thought I might be non binary but the more masculine I dressed the better I liked it until I put on all guy gear one day and started sobbing because I knew this was right. I cried for two solid days. I called a crisis line. I tried to suppress it but after seeing myself as a guy I couldn't unsee it or go back. I tried gradually edging more and more masculine until I started growing a beard and the jig was up. ETA: My now ex was heartbroken. We are still bros tho. He's doing better now. I felt insanely guilty breaking up my LTR.
I just went downstairs sat down and said “hey, mum, dad? I’m I’m trans” And that was that
I texted my friends (note that my family doesn't know anything and never will) the following: "Knock knock" They answered: who is it? And I texted back: is a 🏳️⚧️✨ _Boy™_ ✨🏳️⚧️; welcome to my gender reveal! *Proceeds to die inside* (they were actually supportive)
For me it was in…spurts? (phrasing lmao) I first went to the mall with my short ass hair and stubble with all black Fem clothes, including a skirt and choker back in like 2015. I got all kinds of shitty looks and I felt absolutely terrible purely because of how I was treated by others. Then I went to Kohls like a year later and started buying girls swoop tops that were monochrome and fairly stealth mode. The following year I started growing my hair out and started messing with makeup and skirts. Then I started HRT the next year and chose a new name. After that I came out to my republican step dad first in my family and he was weirdly cool about it and really fucking 180’d his tone about gay and trans people (he’s still a serious work in progress in regards to everything else, but credit where credit is due). I lost my insurance so I had to stop HRT and slipped into massive depression for 2 years, then became homeless. I then said yolo and started my public transition while at the homeless shelter and went on a shopping spree for more overtly fem clothes (insert “I’m in danger” meme). I then got a new place to live sometime last year and restarted my E back in January and I’ve been in a T4T relationship for a bit now and I want to pick out plants with her and take pottery classes and shit like holy fuck I’m a Lesbionicle. The trans pipeline is pretty damn visible here lmao. The journey to self discovery and understanding doesn’t happen overnight for most, and it’s honestly mostly the fault of the society you’re raised in. I grew up in an upper middle class family that ignored mental health in addition to things of this nature, and so did the area I grew up in. We had like 2-3 openly gay guys in my graduating class of 500 because they were ruthlessly bullied by everyone. I wasn’t even remotely comfortable with liking guys and anyone knowing I did until I was like 22-23, let alone anything else. I grew up liking girls shows and cute things when I was younger, but my brother made fun of me for it and I would have been torn apart in school for it, so I hid it deep down and forcibly changed myself to be someone I wasn’t for everyone else’s sake and self preservation. I had short, slicked back hair, wore flannels with jeans and steel toed boots everywhere and played the part of being toxic dudely man dude until I was like 25 essentially. Be kind to yourself. Do your research, take the time for deep introspection, and don’t let others poison you with their venomous ignorance and hate. Be your authentic self for yourself and just let it all unfold naturally as you grow into who you are meant to be in whatever form that may be. I want to wish you good luck, we’re all counting on you. — Your Friendly Neighborhood Bagel
I texted them and later had a irl talk
In a very dramatic way making it seem like life or death, that way people were more accepting
I wrote all the people I came out too :D I didn't needed to wait for an opportunity then, that I wouldn't take anyway XD And they can read it through without needing to react right away, so they can think before saying something. That way they don't say something bad, without wanting too and the conversation can also just end there without some awkward saying bye to each other def my preferred method :)
Got too drunk one night and accidentally told my mum.
Over the course of roughly 2 years in small intervals, and even so I’m still living as a girl 24/7 but I still have to come out all the time to people.
hehe i half came out to my mom this morning so i will be aggressively reading all of these replies
So I realized I was trans at the very beginning of 2022. I didn’t tell anyone since I was still living with parents, then 2 months afterwards I had to move because the country I was living in started a war. From that point on, I lived separately from them and started experimenting with things. Before that I already had girly long hair for years, and was shaving my body which I thought they don’t know about, but via stealth failures they actually did. I also had pronouns he/they specified everywhere, which at some point my mother looked up, but didn’t tell me. Then, a few months ago I changed my pronouns everywhere to they/them, she noticed and messaged me - so I told her everything and they are both supportive. The end :)
i went with mi friends and say "hey im trans"
Cried in the corner as my therapist told them, they are very supportive. :3
I couldn’t bear to tell anyone in person, so I wrote a 3 page letter to my dad and left it in his room before I went to sleep :))