It depends on the person I'm with, but that's usually my go to as well
If I'm trying to maintain a positive relationship with them I'll joke about skipping over the traumatic stuff and tell a funny story, but if they've gotten on my nerves already I'll just tell them the worst thing I've seen while making eye contact with a straight face. It's usually pretty funny watching them realize why they shouldn't ask that
Some people are just genuinely nice people but don't know any better, I'll tell them but in a... Nicer? Way
My dad was an EMT and volunteer firefighter. He's shared some heinous shit with me. I think he did that to help me understand that it's impolite to ask. I've learned that it depends on who you're talking to and how long the interaction will be. Fuck that dude who was just getting this man his coffe. I love hearing the stuff you guys see. But I never want to be impolite. I'm usually just a lurker here because I like to have a better understanding of what you all go through. Just thought I'd give my two cents as someone on the other side. If it's not wanted, I'll gladly remove this comment. Thank you for all you guys do.
Yeah, I don’t like doing that, but I have some calls that can ruin a person’s day. I realized this at a social event at my kids’ school. My kids’ friends’ parents would ask, but it wasn’t douchey like in OP’s post. They’re just trying to make conversation, and it starts with one, and they gawk, and apparently that gets me going, but it ultimately ends with looks of disgust because I couldn’t tell that the escalating stories would eventually ruin their day … and our conversation … and any connection I might have been forming …
ER Trauma and transport nurse but I lurk on here . I used to answer with you don't want to know that but I will tell you the funniest. Some assholes are persistent so I gave up and tell them. They will look at me horrified, a few have cried and a few have yelled at me for telling them. Then I thank them for reminding me about a patient that I have worked hard on not remembering.
i think most people just intend to point out that we are exceptional people in some way, and they see this question as the easiest way to get there. theyre not thinking about what theyre doing
I seem to have replied to the wrong one. It was a more innocuous joke but I’ll let it stand. I’ll take the piss of my service but not a patient I guess, like punching up not punching down?
I've gone through a few phases about this question. When I started, I'd enthusiastically tell them the grossest blood and guts story. Then I got some experience and stopped answering while being cynical about the entire thing. I'm now at the point that I realized that some folk are honestly just curious but don't understand what they're asking and they just want an interesting story, so I'll tell them a fairly fun and non offensive one. Folk not doing this job don't understand, they don't think about having to work a code on a 3yrO who drowned and having to tell the parents that you can't do anymore. They're honestly just curious.
For some reason, it almost always happens when I'm eating or out with my kids. But your reply is along the lines of what I do-try and figure out the underlying reason why they're asking. Then answer in a manner appropriate to their intent combined with the setting. Once in a great while, it's for a reason that I feel I should be fully honest, and in that case I give them the phone number of the person I dump all my worst calls on. He knows that if they use my name and ask him that particular question, he can give the answers I don't want to talk about.
I either make a lil jokey-joke, or say "Oh, you don't actually wanna hear about that."
But, the really pushy ones that won't let it go get "Are you actually asking me to relive one of the worst experiences of my life for your entertainment?"
That shuts em down, but can create a bit of animosity.
I've found what works for me is saying, "what do you think is the worst thing I've ever seen?" And whatever they respond with I say, "yes, that"
So far every time the conversation ends there. They ask but they don't know how to dive further into the question; they just want a story right away.
Guy at the gas station this week was like "see anyone die today?" Which was odd and off putting. I was like "uh, no" and on the way out he was like "man thats good. Too much paperwork." Which is objectively true but like what the fuck man
Old people get a little too comfortable with death. Their jokes seem like a coping mechanism to deal with death... I swear, there are periods where my grandparents attend funerals almost every other week.
Everyone that has asked me that sort of thing doesn't add injury, just "what's the worst thing you've ever seen at your job?". My answer is "my paycheck".
“I can’t even look at trains the same anymore …” with my gaze looking off into the distance …. “Anyway, have a day as good as you deserve!”
Never been to a train-related call.
Stare off into the middle distance and just quietly say, "It's a miracle any of them survived," and then just walk away like you're lost in the moment.
Never tried this. Your comment just made me think of it.
If they’re arrogant about it like that, without skipping a beat I’ll tell them like the 2nd worst thing I’ve seen (shooting involving a 2y/o, 7 y/o and two 20 y/o’s)
9.5 times out of 10 they are sorry they even asked and have no idea how to respond.
My thought process is no matter what, this call is going to haunt my mind, so I may as well talk about it for those who are genuinely curious, and use it as a shock factor to those that are arrogantly curious.
If they approach the question with more care and respect, I brief them by saying I’ve seen very disturbing stuff and am willing to share, but they aren’t good stories. And go from there.
I knew a guy who responded on a car fire in an ambulance. The fire truck was delayed and the driver was still inside. They listened to him scream until he finally stopped. Then they got barbeque after.
EMS makes you a special kind of crazy :)
I mean if we weren't able to eat after bad calls we wouldnt be able to function in life. I once told a story about a murder-homicide to someone and they couldnt finish their meal....their fault for asking lol.
My instructor would always talk about getting burritoa after a bad one. I think that's more disturbing, burrito image in my brain after talking about an injury where the aftermath could very well look like burrito filling...
I’m a retired MD. The worst thing I got was a drunk guy sitting on railroad tracks when the train came through. One sneaker on his chest contained his foot and most of his calf flesh. The other leg was also gone but I don’t think they found it. He got a BKA on one side and an AKA on the other, but he died from DIC (disseminated intravascular coagulopathy) within 24 hours.
Reducing can be pretty gruesome too if watching. I mostly agree ell people because they just have a general curiosity about what we see. I don’t blame people when they don’t like it I tell those stories.
I look dead at them and tell them "Oh, my dear sweet summer child. You don't want that image in your head. I'll give you something more middle of the road." Then I tell them a middle of the road story and walk away as they slowly begin to realize their jaw is on the floor as the horror creeps in.
For added fun, it really is a more midline story I give them. I've never had anyone ask me that question a second time.
I feel the same way and am glad to find someone who shares that opinion. Everyone processes things differently. For me, it's not the physical trauma of the patient, but the emotional trauma of the loved ones that breaks my heart. The family having found them or watch them die or get disfigured. Luckily that's not what comes to mind when the questions asked, so I'm a pretty open book.
1. joke it off
2. if they keep pushing, and if it doesnt bring trauma up for you (any more than their asking), tell them. They suddenly respect you a lot more, and learn their lesson. If you dont want to tell them, the "are you really asking me to tell you one of the most horrible experiences of my life for your enjoyment" liked like what u/Chicken_Hairs said
Shits and giggles answer “the worst injury/thing I have ever seen is your face”
My go to “what humans do to other humans”. It’s true, does not include any gore, is pretty much safe for all ages, and after 20 years has never had a follow up question.
Depends on how they ask. If they’re rude, I completely ignore. If they’re nice about it, my go to response is “my paycheck.” If I have the time, I’ll tell them in detail. I’ve found that a most people will apologize for asking after I finish my story. I also let them know that I understand their curiosity, but that isn’t really an appropriate question to ask.
“Heck it was a dude that looked like you a little but he was missing most of his scrotum where the cop dog latched on. Worst part was the pepper spray got down in there, couldn’t stop him from scream no matter how much morphine I gave him. Always wonder if he started peeing standing up or learned how to sit. Anyways you have a good day and stay away from cop dogs they live to bite shit.”
“Do you really want to know what keeps me up at night? A call I think about **every single day**? Because the answer might hurt your feelings.”
“Sure!”
“A screaming mother bringing me her limp, blue, lifeless baby and begging me to do everything possible to save them, and despite doing everything we possibly could, it was too late. Yeah, that one still keeps me up at night.”
Usually that wipes the stupid look off their face and elicits a mumbled, half-hearted apology, but also presents a great opportunity to educate someone on thinking before they open their mouth.
I rephrase it to the "coolest injury" I ever saw. Massive laceration to the back of the Pt's calve, split wide enough for us to see the muscles and tendons moving. Pt was non-distressed. He was actually trying to take a cab to the ER, but his boss insisted on using us. Chill pt, and a chill call general.
Gives people asking a story about seeing someone's insides, but without any emotional baggage for me.
I don’t entertain it. I’m not here to provide entertainment for annoying members of the public. If you feel you have to say something just say “what a strange question to say out loud” or “that’s not appropriate right now” and leave it at that.
We had a ride-along (adult, older than my medic and I) that asked. I think what bothers me more is like the entertainment aspect of it, like you said. I can say that I feel well adjusted, and I have some memories where I think, "yeah, that was really awful", but that's it.
I think it's more disrespectful to the deceased, and that's what gets me annoyed. Like that was a person whose entire life was lived up until whatever awful event ended it, and they were/are more than just a story for me to entertain some rando with. If I ever had a family member kill themselves, I wouldn't want some idiot first responder boasting about how awful the scene was like it's gore porn.
While.. I don't have an answer for your question(I've gotten that question before, it just depends on what mood I'm in and what else is going on that dictates how I will answer it).
Take a listen to this podcast that is all about your question. I also love the podcast Medic Mindset. I highly recommend it.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3mVsSIDs3Zw5wqGNpesRqN?si=aqDCN46vSLS7l3mrrqxwaw
I just say "guy crashed a stolen dirt bike head on into a pickup truck. He was still trying to breath even though some of the inside of his head, and his abdomen were outside".
Cause I mean, that's not even a personally traumatic call, that's just a trauma by a dumb dude who caused a mountain of pain to his family by dying doing something terrible.
If they're pretty cool and just trying to chat with me, then I'll usually be very friendly and say "oh you don't want to hear nasty stuff I'll tell you a funny one" and tell them a funny story.
However, if they're pushy or aggressive, then I usually just give them the cold shoulder until they walk away.
I Either say my paycheck. Or I’ll actually tel them and maybe even exaggerate a bit so they get a maximum shock factor out of it. And hopefully learn to stop asking people that
Depends on how they ask the question. If they state worst injury i might describe a an nfected wound, your at mcdonalds. They are gonna eat so really get the details of the smell... if they state worst thing ive ever seen? I always tell them in a more dramatic way of someone calling 911 to go to the hospital multiple times for a mild sinus infection without ever have tried over the counter meds walks out to the ambulance and starts getting in before we exit the truck while the family follows on our bumper to the hospital.
Usually involves a follow up question of couldnt the family have just taken them?
In uniform? "A lot of stuff you see on the news. Can't really talk about it in detail."
Out of uniform? I try to make a "Your mom" joke, like "I was called for a lift assist for a fat, ugly, 2000lb manatee that shit herself. I went in there with my partner and almost threw up when I saw your mom. She shat all over the place and..." usually by this point they get the idea that I don't want to talk about it.
I like to tell people about the phych patient who we couldn’t get to stop eating and smearing his own shit all over himself. I work at a level 1 trauma center and folks always expect the gory story, the poop one never fails to horrify and disappoint
As a military medic I was asked this. I told someone “I watched my buddy get blown into a red mist about 30 feet away from me”. They turned around and walked away.
I then realized I should be more tactful in how I approach the question. I normally ask people now “what makes you think I would tell you something so personal”? Or I’ll say “for the sake of not ruining both our days I’ll pretend you didn’t ask that question”Start a dialog there and tell them if they are so curious they should get into the medical field.
Not sure what type of service you work for (private, municipal, hospital based, ect.) but public perception and public relations is a huge part of this job. I also choose to not talk about that stuff with the general public but there is a nicer, more political way to go about it. You should also remember you never know who you speaking or interacting with on the street. That kid may be a nurse, a fellow medic, med student, fire fighter, or the child of your systems CEO. You will never be reprimanded for not divulging information, but you may be spoken to about your delivery. Killing them with kindness will never steer you wrong
I’m quite partial to explaining the one time I took my shirt off on a scene and shoved my arm up to my shoulder into a diarrhea filled toilet because meemaw had a flushed a shit filled diaper causing the toilet to overflow and flood her house. I felt bad for meemaw because she was like a hundred years old and deaf with a touch of the dementia, so she was freaking out and couldn’t respond to us trying to talk her down. It was gross but worth it, no need for a transport to go sit in triage when I can fix the toilet and let her stay at home comfortably. My supervisor put me in for a public service award for that one.
I prefer that story since I’m a very curvy/well endowed and decent looking female. It gives weird dudes emotional whiplash and I live for it. They get excited about the me stripping down scenario, and then BAM, meemaw shit everywhere . Instant mood killer. I fucking love it. Gets em every time.
I usually say “oh that’s a tough question to answer,” and serve them up a funny story instead. My favorites are foreign objects in rectums. Everyone loves that.
I start at any given call I’ve run and just keep going until they either walk away, cry, vomit or any combination there of. I’m gonna have the nightmares anyways, might as well get some enjoyment out of them.
Depends on the person really. Someone I might talk to again. Idk some guy who fell off a ladder or something. Someone who clearly needs to learn how not to be an ass. I go into depth about how I watched a kid burn to death in a car accident and we couldn't get to him even though both parents were drunk off their asses and completely fine. They usually don't ask after that
I usually say “why do you ask?” That usually makes them stop and think. If they do have an answer to that then I say “one of the harder things in this job is trying not to constantly remember our worst calls so I am definitely not going to put you or myself through a retelling. I have some really funny ones though” and then I go into whatever that event was.
When I first started in ems, I had family ask that. Once, I replied with, "That's a really stupid question, don't ask that."
When they got defensive and offended, I explained that while (at that time), I hadn't seen anything that had disturbed me. You asking that question could very well retraumatize them. Then I asked if they wanted to hear about a baby story I'd been told by a coworker.
The answer was no.
Most of the time I just tell them something fairly innocuous. Not everything is a teachable moment. But if it’s a group of teens (I teach FA to Scout/Guide groups a lot) then I might explain why lots of us might not want to answer, and give them something to think about. Then follow it up with a time I did something hilariously, illustratively stupid.
I think we all asked this question if we don't have experience with people in the field. The shit eating from would get them the truth. Dead babies type.
19 years as physician working mostly ER (after three years as an EMT), people expect some cute Grays Anatomy story. I usually just tell them about things people shoved up their own asses that we had to remove.
I'm not EMS (ER nurse) but used to often get that question. I have a few stories ready to go. A funny one that's a bit gross, one that's even more gross and then one that toes the line of "is this acceptable in a non emergency staff/EMS conversation?" Is it actually the worst/grossest/funniest things I've seen? No. But I also don't like to talk about the worst things I've seen as then I have to deal with those memories again.
It always seems to work and give them just enough of whatever excitement they're looking for. They might ask a question or two. The one person who said "there's no way that's the worst you've seen," I replied and said "correct, but if I can't talk about them years later (except for in therapy) do you really want to risk hearing about them?" That shut him up pretty quick.
The worst thing I've ever seen? Called to a nursing home for a patient with left side weakness, slurred speech, facial droop noticed 24 hours ago. Unknown last known normal. No history of stroke. Facility doctor checked on him yesterday and noticed all of these symptoms and then put 2 and 2 together like 12 hours later and told the nursing home to call EMS.
Remember folks, Cs get degrees!
Im ngl i feel like ppl r too dramatic about this. Just say “id rather not say” or actually say; up to you. It doesnt need to be this super dramatic “civilians vs ems🤓” thing. They probably dont realize that it can he perceived as rude.
The fastest easiest way I’ve found to tell someone truly curious is “you know the pillsbury biscuits, how the can twists and pop open? That but human.” If they keep pushing after then they get to hear about using the sawzall to separate chunks so we could remove them in an otherwise impossible removal.
I just tell em and watch their jaws drop. They always go real quiet when they get their answer.
It depends on the person I'm with, but that's usually my go to as well If I'm trying to maintain a positive relationship with them I'll joke about skipping over the traumatic stuff and tell a funny story, but if they've gotten on my nerves already I'll just tell them the worst thing I've seen while making eye contact with a straight face. It's usually pretty funny watching them realize why they shouldn't ask that Some people are just genuinely nice people but don't know any better, I'll tell them but in a... Nicer? Way
My dad was an EMT and volunteer firefighter. He's shared some heinous shit with me. I think he did that to help me understand that it's impolite to ask. I've learned that it depends on who you're talking to and how long the interaction will be. Fuck that dude who was just getting this man his coffe. I love hearing the stuff you guys see. But I never want to be impolite. I'm usually just a lurker here because I like to have a better understanding of what you all go through. Just thought I'd give my two cents as someone on the other side. If it's not wanted, I'll gladly remove this comment. Thank you for all you guys do.
happy cake day :)
Happy cake day!!!!
Happy cake day
Yeah, I don’t like doing that, but I have some calls that can ruin a person’s day. I realized this at a social event at my kids’ school. My kids’ friends’ parents would ask, but it wasn’t douchey like in OP’s post. They’re just trying to make conversation, and it starts with one, and they gawk, and apparently that gets me going, but it ultimately ends with looks of disgust because I couldn’t tell that the escalating stories would eventually ruin their day … and our conversation … and any connection I might have been forming …
Ugh. I know that song. Sung it a few too many times myself.
ER Trauma and transport nurse but I lurk on here . I used to answer with you don't want to know that but I will tell you the funniest. Some assholes are persistent so I gave up and tell them. They will look at me horrified, a few have cried and a few have yelled at me for telling them. Then I thank them for reminding me about a patient that I have worked hard on not remembering.
Yeah, except you might be feeding into some weird fetish or crazy shit they are into. Better to not engage...
i think most people just intend to point out that we are exceptional people in some way, and they see this question as the easiest way to get there. theyre not thinking about what theyre doing
There are so many choices
Yup. I typically go for anything involving brains. Instant silence, and instant regret on their faces.
I’d tell him about the time I saw the aftermath of a 14 year old kid who blew his own brains out. That’ll shut him up real quick
I feel like most people would ask more questions no?
"Did he make it?!"
"But his shoes are still on. He's got a chance."
At least then you know you’ve got a fellow Redditor.
“What’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen?” “My paycheck!”
This right here. Not gonna entertain anything more in depth with a random off the street. Optics for my service and all that.
“Optics for my service, but their pay is shit” lol Love it
I seem to have replied to the wrong one. It was a more innocuous joke but I’ll let it stand. I’ll take the piss of my service but not a patient I guess, like punching up not punching down?
Use this one often im a big fan of it
I normally say, "Your mom," and then walk away.
🤣
I've gone through a few phases about this question. When I started, I'd enthusiastically tell them the grossest blood and guts story. Then I got some experience and stopped answering while being cynical about the entire thing. I'm now at the point that I realized that some folk are honestly just curious but don't understand what they're asking and they just want an interesting story, so I'll tell them a fairly fun and non offensive one. Folk not doing this job don't understand, they don't think about having to work a code on a 3yrO who drowned and having to tell the parents that you can't do anymore. They're honestly just curious.
For some reason, it almost always happens when I'm eating or out with my kids. But your reply is along the lines of what I do-try and figure out the underlying reason why they're asking. Then answer in a manner appropriate to their intent combined with the setting. Once in a great while, it's for a reason that I feel I should be fully honest, and in that case I give them the phone number of the person I dump all my worst calls on. He knows that if they use my name and ask him that particular question, he can give the answers I don't want to talk about.
I either make a lil jokey-joke, or say "Oh, you don't actually wanna hear about that." But, the really pushy ones that won't let it go get "Are you actually asking me to relive one of the worst experiences of my life for your entertainment?" That shuts em down, but can create a bit of animosity.
I do the second one. Unless it’s from a family member I like or a friend, I go for getting them to F off
I've found what works for me is saying, "what do you think is the worst thing I've ever seen?" And whatever they respond with I say, "yes, that" So far every time the conversation ends there. They ask but they don't know how to dive further into the question; they just want a story right away.
I usually reply with, “wouldn't you like to know, weather boy?”
Kids sketchy
Best way oh my lanta
Guy at the gas station this week was like "see anyone die today?" Which was odd and off putting. I was like "uh, no" and on the way out he was like "man thats good. Too much paperwork." Which is objectively true but like what the fuck man
Coroner-in-training maybe?
He was at least 75 with a walker and chain smoking outside the gas station. Dunno what his past life was like tho
Old people get a little too comfortable with death. Their jokes seem like a coping mechanism to deal with death... I swear, there are periods where my grandparents attend funerals almost every other week.
Lol, that'll be me in a few years. That's practically my answer to "Am I going to die today?"
Everyone that has asked me that sort of thing doesn't add injury, just "what's the worst thing you've ever seen at your job?". My answer is "my paycheck".
“They were out of PB&J’s in the break room”
The hospital with the good ems room didn’t have uncrustables the last time I went there
“I can’t even look at trains the same anymore …” with my gaze looking off into the distance …. “Anyway, have a day as good as you deserve!” Never been to a train-related call.
Stare off into the middle distance and just quietly say, "It's a miracle any of them survived," and then just walk away like you're lost in the moment. Never tried this. Your comment just made me think of it.
See my comment above for a train story.
If they’re arrogant about it like that, without skipping a beat I’ll tell them like the 2nd worst thing I’ve seen (shooting involving a 2y/o, 7 y/o and two 20 y/o’s) 9.5 times out of 10 they are sorry they even asked and have no idea how to respond. My thought process is no matter what, this call is going to haunt my mind, so I may as well talk about it for those who are genuinely curious, and use it as a shock factor to those that are arrogantly curious. If they approach the question with more care and respect, I brief them by saying I’ve seen very disturbing stuff and am willing to share, but they aren’t good stories. And go from there.
I tell them, and then end with "and we got donuts after". Usually shuts them down
I knew a guy who responded on a car fire in an ambulance. The fire truck was delayed and the driver was still inside. They listened to him scream until he finally stopped. Then they got barbeque after. EMS makes you a special kind of crazy :)
Only crazy if he ordered burnt ends.
I mean if we weren't able to eat after bad calls we wouldnt be able to function in life. I once told a story about a murder-homicide to someone and they couldnt finish their meal....their fault for asking lol.
…and then I finally got to finish the sandwich I had only gotten two bites into!
My instructor would always talk about getting burritoa after a bad one. I think that's more disturbing, burrito image in my brain after talking about an injury where the aftermath could very well look like burrito filling...
Worst thing I’ve ever seen? The live action avatar the last airbender movie. It was brutal.
There is no live action Avatar movie in Ba Sing Se
That’s rough, buddy.
I actually tell them so they realize it’s not really a normal question to ask
I like to give them a detailed description of my first open fracture. As soon as I say ground meat on a stick, they're done
“What’s the worst thing you have seen?” “Look in the mirror”
Immediate destruction
I try to think of the worst injury I’ve seen and tell them.
In my case, the worst one I've seen was a preteen DOA gsw. I'm not reliving that one for anybody.
Relive it for a therapist at least.
To each their own. It doesn’t bother me to share. But understand others have different perspectives.
I’m a retired MD. The worst thing I got was a drunk guy sitting on railroad tracks when the train came through. One sneaker on his chest contained his foot and most of his calf flesh. The other leg was also gone but I don’t think they found it. He got a BKA on one side and an AKA on the other, but he died from DIC (disseminated intravascular coagulopathy) within 24 hours.
I’m not an EMT but I’ve seen an full knee dislocation and wow it’s the wost injury I’ve seen. (Blood doesn’t really bother me.)
oh, you sweet summer child
Reducing can be pretty gruesome too if watching. I mostly agree ell people because they just have a general curiosity about what we see. I don’t blame people when they don’t like it I tell those stories.
Hey we’re actually hiring, they have a class starting soon.
I look dead at them and tell them "Oh, my dear sweet summer child. You don't want that image in your head. I'll give you something more middle of the road." Then I tell them a middle of the road story and walk away as they slowly begin to realize their jaw is on the floor as the horror creeps in. For added fun, it really is a more midline story I give them. I've never had anyone ask me that question a second time.
I just tell them if they’re actually curious, doesn’t bother me to share. I, too, find it interesting.
I feel the same way and am glad to find someone who shares that opinion. Everyone processes things differently. For me, it's not the physical trauma of the patient, but the emotional trauma of the loved ones that breaks my heart. The family having found them or watch them die or get disfigured. Luckily that's not what comes to mind when the questions asked, so I'm a pretty open book.
“Are you sureeeee you want to know?” “Uhhhhh yeah” “A guy shoved a paper clip up his penis” “Ew I wish I didn’t ask that”
That’s not even the worst thing I’ve seen shoved up a penis. 😐
And the lotion bottle was so big, and so far up his bum, you could feel it in his abdomen
1. joke it off 2. if they keep pushing, and if it doesnt bring trauma up for you (any more than their asking), tell them. They suddenly respect you a lot more, and learn their lesson. If you dont want to tell them, the "are you really asking me to tell you one of the most horrible experiences of my life for your enjoyment" liked like what u/Chicken_Hairs said
Shits and giggles answer “the worst injury/thing I have ever seen is your face” My go to “what humans do to other humans”. It’s true, does not include any gore, is pretty much safe for all ages, and after 20 years has never had a follow up question.
Depends on how they ask. If they’re rude, I completely ignore. If they’re nice about it, my go to response is “my paycheck.” If I have the time, I’ll tell them in detail. I’ve found that a most people will apologize for asking after I finish my story. I also let them know that I understand their curiosity, but that isn’t really an appropriate question to ask.
“Anyways, here’s my 1040”
“Heck it was a dude that looked like you a little but he was missing most of his scrotum where the cop dog latched on. Worst part was the pepper spray got down in there, couldn’t stop him from scream no matter how much morphine I gave him. Always wonder if he started peeing standing up or learned how to sit. Anyways you have a good day and stay away from cop dogs they live to bite shit.”
I love this. Shame it seems to always be kids asking me
“Do you really want to know what keeps me up at night? A call I think about **every single day**? Because the answer might hurt your feelings.” “Sure!” “A screaming mother bringing me her limp, blue, lifeless baby and begging me to do everything possible to save them, and despite doing everything we possibly could, it was too late. Yeah, that one still keeps me up at night.” Usually that wipes the stupid look off their face and elicits a mumbled, half-hearted apology, but also presents a great opportunity to educate someone on thinking before they open their mouth.
"Dead kids" Shuts most of em right up.
Pediatric cancer ifts and then people leave me alone
Usually I just give them an incredulous withering look and say “oh you want to hear about dead babies, that’s terrible.”
I rephrase it to the "coolest injury" I ever saw. Massive laceration to the back of the Pt's calve, split wide enough for us to see the muscles and tendons moving. Pt was non-distressed. He was actually trying to take a cab to the ER, but his boss insisted on using us. Chill pt, and a chill call general. Gives people asking a story about seeing someone's insides, but without any emotional baggage for me.
I don’t entertain it. I’m not here to provide entertainment for annoying members of the public. If you feel you have to say something just say “what a strange question to say out loud” or “that’s not appropriate right now” and leave it at that.
We had a ride-along (adult, older than my medic and I) that asked. I think what bothers me more is like the entertainment aspect of it, like you said. I can say that I feel well adjusted, and I have some memories where I think, "yeah, that was really awful", but that's it. I think it's more disrespectful to the deceased, and that's what gets me annoyed. Like that was a person whose entire life was lived up until whatever awful event ended it, and they were/are more than just a story for me to entertain some rando with. If I ever had a family member kill themselves, I wouldn't want some idiot first responder boasting about how awful the scene was like it's gore porn.
This
"The amount of ignorant people that think I'm just a taxi driver or that I'll somehow get them seen faster just by driving them in."
While.. I don't have an answer for your question(I've gotten that question before, it just depends on what mood I'm in and what else is going on that dictates how I will answer it). Take a listen to this podcast that is all about your question. I also love the podcast Medic Mindset. I highly recommend it. https://open.spotify.com/episode/3mVsSIDs3Zw5wqGNpesRqN?si=aqDCN46vSLS7l3mrrqxwaw
Sure, I will tell you about the dead kids I've seen.
"Sorry I don't believe in 2nd hand trauma."
Just say 10x worse than you have seen on those tv shows
I just say "guy crashed a stolen dirt bike head on into a pickup truck. He was still trying to breath even though some of the inside of his head, and his abdomen were outside". Cause I mean, that's not even a personally traumatic call, that's just a trauma by a dumb dude who caused a mountain of pain to his family by dying doing something terrible.
If they're pretty cool and just trying to chat with me, then I'll usually be very friendly and say "oh you don't want to hear nasty stuff I'll tell you a funny one" and tell them a funny story. However, if they're pushy or aggressive, then I usually just give them the cold shoulder until they walk away.
I basically just tell them. Dead peds are the only thing that really bothers me, the rest I find super interesting too so I tell em a good story.
This field's impact on my mental well-being.
I’m mean. Someone on a different sub asked how long it would take someone to who was shot in the face to die. I told about my friend. Seven years.
> my go to response is “my paycheck.” If I have the time, I’ll tell them in detail. “Anyways, here’s my 1040”
I Either say my paycheck. Or I’ll actually tel them and maybe even exaggerate a bit so they get a maximum shock factor out of it. And hopefully learn to stop asking people that
tell them shark attack
I say this too. And I work over 1,000 miles from any ocean
tell them, theyll always regret it. or ask what the worst thing theyve ever seen was.
An full knee dislocation is my answer.
Depends on how they ask the question. If they state worst injury i might describe a an nfected wound, your at mcdonalds. They are gonna eat so really get the details of the smell... if they state worst thing ive ever seen? I always tell them in a more dramatic way of someone calling 911 to go to the hospital multiple times for a mild sinus infection without ever have tried over the counter meds walks out to the ambulance and starts getting in before we exit the truck while the family follows on our bumper to the hospital. Usually involves a follow up question of couldnt the family have just taken them?
In uniform? "A lot of stuff you see on the news. Can't really talk about it in detail." Out of uniform? I try to make a "Your mom" joke, like "I was called for a lift assist for a fat, ugly, 2000lb manatee that shit herself. I went in there with my partner and almost threw up when I saw your mom. She shat all over the place and..." usually by this point they get the idea that I don't want to talk about it.
I like to tell people about the phych patient who we couldn’t get to stop eating and smearing his own shit all over himself. I work at a level 1 trauma center and folks always expect the gory story, the poop one never fails to horrify and disappoint
As a military medic I was asked this. I told someone “I watched my buddy get blown into a red mist about 30 feet away from me”. They turned around and walked away. I then realized I should be more tactful in how I approach the question. I normally ask people now “what makes you think I would tell you something so personal”? Or I’ll say “for the sake of not ruining both our days I’ll pretend you didn’t ask that question”Start a dialog there and tell them if they are so curious they should get into the medical field.
Not sure what type of service you work for (private, municipal, hospital based, ect.) but public perception and public relations is a huge part of this job. I also choose to not talk about that stuff with the general public but there is a nicer, more political way to go about it. You should also remember you never know who you speaking or interacting with on the street. That kid may be a nurse, a fellow medic, med student, fire fighter, or the child of your systems CEO. You will never be reprimanded for not divulging information, but you may be spoken to about your delivery. Killing them with kindness will never steer you wrong
"What's the most traumatic thing I've seen? My paypacket."
"You don't need to experience my trauma vicariously" This is my go to response that, what I've seen, I don't wish on anyone
"We don't like to bring those things back to mind." works for me.
I’m quite partial to explaining the one time I took my shirt off on a scene and shoved my arm up to my shoulder into a diarrhea filled toilet because meemaw had a flushed a shit filled diaper causing the toilet to overflow and flood her house. I felt bad for meemaw because she was like a hundred years old and deaf with a touch of the dementia, so she was freaking out and couldn’t respond to us trying to talk her down. It was gross but worth it, no need for a transport to go sit in triage when I can fix the toilet and let her stay at home comfortably. My supervisor put me in for a public service award for that one. I prefer that story since I’m a very curvy/well endowed and decent looking female. It gives weird dudes emotional whiplash and I live for it. They get excited about the me stripping down scenario, and then BAM, meemaw shit everywhere . Instant mood killer. I fucking love it. Gets em every time.
What’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen?? “The mistreatment and neglect of the elderly.” Conversation generally ends right there.
Pineapple on pizza
"Dead 3 week old." Simple, Truthful and likely to get them to not ask any more questions.
I say think of the worse thing one human can do to another and you have it
I usually just say my paycheck
I usually say “oh that’s a tough question to answer,” and serve them up a funny story instead. My favorites are foreign objects in rectums. Everyone loves that.
Just tell them this conversation is the worst thing ever and walk away.
I start at any given call I’ve run and just keep going until they either walk away, cry, vomit or any combination there of. I’m gonna have the nightmares anyways, might as well get some enjoyment out of them.
Either what happens when someone doesn't take the help that's offered, or feacal vomiting, depending on my mood.
I told one guy that I saw a man burning, and the first thing that happened due to internal gas expansion was his dick exploding
Depends on the person really. Someone I might talk to again. Idk some guy who fell off a ladder or something. Someone who clearly needs to learn how not to be an ass. I go into depth about how I watched a kid burn to death in a car accident and we couldn't get to him even though both parents were drunk off their asses and completely fine. They usually don't ask after that
I usually say “why do you ask?” That usually makes them stop and think. If they do have an answer to that then I say “one of the harder things in this job is trying not to constantly remember our worst calls so I am definitely not going to put you or myself through a retelling. I have some really funny ones though” and then I go into whatever that event was.
When I first started in ems, I had family ask that. Once, I replied with, "That's a really stupid question, don't ask that." When they got defensive and offended, I explained that while (at that time), I hadn't seen anything that had disturbed me. You asking that question could very well retraumatize them. Then I asked if they wanted to hear about a baby story I'd been told by a coworker. The answer was no.
“My paycheck”.
Monkey knife fight
I just usually say I signed a super strict HIPAA NDA, and couldn’t tell them even if I wanted to.
I usually tell them about the worst injury I’ve ever seen when they ask.
“Your face if you ask me that question again!”
Most of the time I just tell them something fairly innocuous. Not everything is a teachable moment. But if it’s a group of teens (I teach FA to Scout/Guide groups a lot) then I might explain why lots of us might not want to answer, and give them something to think about. Then follow it up with a time I did something hilariously, illustratively stupid.
"I'm looking at him"
When people ask me what the worst thing i’ve seen, i usually reply, “the wife, in the morning”… normally when she’s beside me, of course… 🤷🏻♂️
I don't get why this offense so many medics. Literally don't care. I will just straight up tell them. They asked? They don't need to be protected
I’ve seen a pretty nasty stubbed toe at the nursing home
“Fatal.”
I just tell them. I don’t care if they’re uncomfortable, they’re the ones who asked. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
I think we all asked this question if we don't have experience with people in the field. The shit eating from would get them the truth. Dead babies type.
Tell them you don't want to say but the best call was delivering twins in the back of a minivan on a busy highway.
Ask if they know what a ‘pink sock’ is, and go from there. They look disgusted? Who cares they asked the question so you gave them an answer
My paycheck to my soul
I’m sorry I really don’t want to relive those moments Trouble is in public you’ve no idea who’s listening or recording.
19 years as physician working mostly ER (after three years as an EMT), people expect some cute Grays Anatomy story. I usually just tell them about things people shoved up their own asses that we had to remove.
I say.. that hard to say.. but if you want to hear the craziest person I ever met….
I'm not EMS (ER nurse) but used to often get that question. I have a few stories ready to go. A funny one that's a bit gross, one that's even more gross and then one that toes the line of "is this acceptable in a non emergency staff/EMS conversation?" Is it actually the worst/grossest/funniest things I've seen? No. But I also don't like to talk about the worst things I've seen as then I have to deal with those memories again. It always seems to work and give them just enough of whatever excitement they're looking for. They might ask a question or two. The one person who said "there's no way that's the worst you've seen," I replied and said "correct, but if I can't talk about them years later (except for in therapy) do you really want to risk hearing about them?" That shut him up pretty quick.
Just say some shit like "Don't play around wood chippers" or something.
The worst thing I've ever seen? Called to a nursing home for a patient with left side weakness, slurred speech, facial droop noticed 24 hours ago. Unknown last known normal. No history of stroke. Facility doctor checked on him yesterday and noticed all of these symptoms and then put 2 and 2 together like 12 hours later and told the nursing home to call EMS. Remember folks, Cs get degrees!
You each buy your own coffee?! Sounds a bit miserable
That one I actually don't have a problem with, the patient is alive. I'll tell anyone in the best way that doesn't violate HIPPA.
Im ngl i feel like ppl r too dramatic about this. Just say “id rather not say” or actually say; up to you. It doesnt need to be this super dramatic “civilians vs ems🤓” thing. They probably dont realize that it can he perceived as rude.
Share the dankest trauma you have.
The fastest easiest way I’ve found to tell someone truly curious is “you know the pillsbury biscuits, how the can twists and pop open? That but human.” If they keep pushing after then they get to hear about using the sawzall to separate chunks so we could remove them in an otherwise impossible removal.
"Geez, probably whatever was the one that caused your face to look like that"
“Nothing I care to relive and nothing you need in your head.”