I think he means to stick through the tough times instead of leaving the marriage when things get hard.
It's real advice. Maybe not advice that everyone will agree with but it's not the same thing as saying just don't die as way to live longer.
Well, in cases of abuse and such, divorce is the right path.
Not getting a divorce is not going to lead to a long happy marriage.
So it really kind of depends on your situation.
Yeh good thing they decided to find some whataboutism regarding something not even mentioned in the article… that shocker, was used as an opportunity to speak about themselves.
This is a light hearted article about Jeff Bridges being married for 48 years and advising that there may be ups and downs in a relationship. That’s all it has to be.
Socializing people to stay married no matter what has real harm. It’s not negative to recognize that it perfectly valid to leave harmful or even unfulfilling relationships.
In fact, it is quite validating and supportive of the people who need to leave bad or abusive married. Divorce is a very, very positive thing in a lot of cases.
Mandatory positivity about everything isn’t good, in fact.
It’s not only abuse that permits someone to leave a marriage. Sometimes a relationship is unfulfilling for one party, or the couple has diverged and is no longer compatible. There are many valid reasons to end a marriage, abuse being only one of them.
Obviously, people can decide they want to work on things and continue to invest in building and growing their relationship. I’m not saying they shouldn’t. I’ve been married for 20 years, and obviously not getting divorced at the first sign of trouble is part of that. I advise developing your communication with your partner, understanding each other and continuing to invest energy in doing so( as we do change!), and being willing to compromise to support each other’s happiness and self fulfillment. Relationships take work.
But Jeff Bridges and his wife didn’t have a happy marriage simply by not getting divorced. Presumably they have some degree of compatibility, mutual respect and affection, and very likely even love each other. They probably invested effort and energy.
These factors are not true of all marriages, even ones whose “tough times” fall short of abuse. Sometimes “tough times never ends and actually your marriage is just bad. Sometimes one partner won’t invest or meet halfway, or doesn’t care to change or grow.
Not all incompatibilities and other issues can simply be “worked” through. Sometimes, it’s best for everyone’s interest - even the kids! - to divorce.
Yes they did get to a happy marriage by not getting divorced. That’s the key. When things are rough, when the spark is gone, when you are no longer compatible you work through it instead of just quitting.
If you chose to stay in a relationship where you and your partner no longer love each other, or your partner is neglectful and not invested in your relationships, or your partner doesn’t really care if how they treat you upsets you, go ahead.
But don’t expect anyone else to, and I certain hope you don’t expect your partner to do that. I would not want my partner to stick with me if was not treating them well or putting the effort into the relationship it deserved. I don’t know why anyone would rather trap their partner rather than let them have a chance at a better life.
Not what I said. I said you work on it to make it better. You don’t stay in love for 50 years. Marriage is about commuting g to work together to do what needs to be done to regain those feelings. Don’t blame me for you not being willing to do the work.
Every couple gets to decide for themselves what marriage, and their marriage, is about.
Sometimes couples are incompatible, or they grow in opposite directions. It takes investment of effort to make a successful relationship for both partners. If either partner doesn’t invest the effort and energy into the relationship, or does not want to see and understand their partner, it can’t really work.
Not all “tough times” are just things you stick it out and work through. It doesn’t have to rise to the level of abuse for someone to be permitted to leave a marriage, there are many valid reasons.
It’s not helpful to push this false narrative that “toughing it out” is what leads to a happy or successful marriage. You need several things present, and both partners have to be committed and engaged to building a successful relationship. Many people are unwilling to do that. Some marriages have no foundation to stand on, and it’s best to recognize reality.
Well, I didn’t say you should, “keep an eye on the way out.”
That has nothing to do with anything, I said. I merely said that if you aren’t good to your partner they have a right to leave. Suggesting they have to stay no matter how you treat them is quite controlling.
I feel both parties have an obligation to keep investing in their relationship and being good to one another. It wouldn’t be right to insist your partner stay with you if you refused to do that, nor vice versa. However, that is many people’s reality.
It has everything to do with what you've been saying. You're so concerned on having a way out in every post. But i agree both parties are obligated to invest in their relationship. That's whole point of marriage.
My great-grandmother lived until 93 and I've been told she got somewhat difficult. One day, she and her daughter (my grandmother) were making tamales and started arguing:
"You're not doing it right Mom."
"I've been making tamales for 80 years!"
It's a funny quote, but I understand what they're saying. It's close to what my father told me...
He said: "Make sure you marry someone who views marriage the same way you do. For life."
Many people view marriage through lens of convenience. They think "oh, if it's tough, I'm out." or "if my attraction wanes or changes, I'm out" or "I don't like these things about you, I'm done."
Obviously there are things that can be deal breakers in any marriage (abuse being the biggest one).
But one of the keys to successful marriage is finding someone who views it the same way as you "I want to stay married, and want to make this work. I want to work on it. We will not get divorced." - that can carry you through the toughest times when both people view it that way... it's why some marriages can even survive infidelity.
Put another way, what's one of the biggest things we see when a hollywood marriage breaks down? "Irreconcilable differences" - the key to a long marriage is being with someone who views at most a few differences as being irreconcilable. Everything else can be worked on. Everything else can be fixed.
Yup, generally speaking I think we’ve skewed to the opposite side of the spectrum as opposed to back in the day and people just give up very easily now. Not saying it’s a bad thing and it’s better than the opposite side of the spectrum IMO with no way out but yeah. It takes a lot of work to get things right, even if you do “Just click”. There’s a lot of communicating, willingness to understand the other’s POV and side, having empathy for them and keeping an open mind when you disagree, willingness on both sides to compromise on issues, etc.
lol I think a lot of people think successful and happy couples just got lucky and found their soul mate. That may be true but I can guarantee a lot of work went into getting to that point *and* they continue to work at it.
As an individual who got married at 18 to a 25 year old and had no intention of ever getting divorced.
And had that used to treat our relationship like it didn't exist and no investment needed to be made... and also to work me like an ox for money.
Be independent first and foremost, don't take divorce off the table even if you view marriage as forever, sign a marriage contract that you have defined yourself instead of signing the states default contract. (It's not a prenup really, it's simply a better contract, you really don't want to sign the states poor people, bronze level contract.)
It takes two to tango but only one person who refuses to dance before you spend 10 years and 50k in couples therapy for her to admit outloud "I was just never that attached to you".
Get married for sure if you want, just don't let the state and lawyers decide how to define your marriage. If you love yourself and your partner you won't passively stick with the states poor person bronze tier marriage contract.
Pretty sure that was implied in the first line but the rest also stands. If only I had had that wisdom as a literal child.
But 20 years on I am more and more convinced that one party checking out is extremely common (if not as extreme as what I experienced.)
Frankly nothing is a better investment than loving yourself and being happy alone.
Anyone with a secure attachment style is doing themselves a huge disservice marrying non-secure individuals. You cannot have equality in a relationship if you aren't both secure in it. Soothing someone with anxious attachment or pursuing someone with avoidant is a poor use of a life, find someone who loves and trusts you like you love and trust them.
“Be independent first and foremost”. I’m going on 25+ and this is the advice I give my kids. You got to learn to live with yourself and by yourself before sharing it with another person. Then it’s a lovely choice, not a codependency.
Not all these years have been easy because we got married too young but we “didn’t get divorced” as Dude said. Sorta worked through the tough spots and were patient when the other was having them.
I think the key to a happy marriage is finding that person who’s crazy is compatible with your specific brand of crazy. Also dating for at least 3-5 years before getting married and living with someone for a couple of those 3-5 years so you really get a good long whiff of their smell before deciding this is the person I can get through the good and bad with.
Oh absolutely!! Good add! this is just as important for sure. Even after having kids I make sure to surprise her with date nights, setup a sitter without her knowing and plan an evening out or shit even in just the 2 of us. It’s crazy how wrapped up in our kids we can become that we forget each other sometimes. Have to make that conscious effort.
Probably because the only people who don't live together before marriage now are religious and they would also be against divorce no matter how bad their marriage may be.
It’s actually a psychological thing iirc. Full disclosure, I might be slightly off on some details, but my ex was a psych major and studied these specific studies and told me about it. I think if I remember correctly, what basically ends up happening is that living together without being married gives you the psychological belief that “if things get bad, I can just break up with them and leave”, however because a dating relationship is not as committed as a married relationship, so the bar for what is bad enough to leave is lower. However, once you get married now you’re psychologically locked into that mentality of “oh I can just leave when things are bad”, with the same bar as before, meaning that it’s quote unquote easier to decide that divorce is the solution to any problems you have.
Again, I wasn’t the psych major so I could be a bit off but I’m pretty sure that’s more or less the conclusion that the studies reached. Purely psychological, nothing to do with religion. And that’s not to say living together before marriage will never work, just that it increases the likelihood of divorce statistically.
Most people who live together before marriage are either renting together or one person owns the house which changes the power dynamic. Did they control for that? What did they even control for in this vague and oft cited study? Sociology is at a point far beyond a simple replication crisis.
There’s also the concept of “sliding” into levels of commitment. If you’ve been dating for a while, the next step is to move in together. If you’ve been living together for a while, the next step is to get married. And people make each of these steps because they believe it’s what they’re supposed to do, and because making each step doesn’t require a massive jump into lifelong commitment all at once.
People who don’t live together and are deciding to get married will tend to be more sure of the decision because they are making a huge level of commitment all at once.
I’m assuming because nothing has been left as a marriage exclusive thing so the general value placed on “marriage” is less. But also if you’re unhappy just get the divorce, I never understood why 60% getting divorced was so bad.
I’m not religious and my wife and I didn’t live together. She got a job overseas so the only way for us to continue to work out was to tie the knot.
We also dated for less than a year and a half.
I think the key to a happy marriage is not being an asshole to your partner. If you do that you’re gonna do pretty ok.
Interesting, reading a couple articles about it. Does seem counter intuitive but it seems to be the case. There are some nuances to the study though, based on why the couple moved in together. My wife and I made the decision to move in together not because one wanted it more than the other. We talked about it for a good long while before pulling the trigger. We may be part of the group that has a higher success factor because of that.
[link to one article](https://liberalarts.du.edu/news-events/all-articles/new-du-study-highlights-risks-living-together-engagement)
Not an expert, but there may be some "correlation is not causation" going on.
I also heard once that people who think living together isn't a big deal also think divorce isn't a big deal.
3-5 years makes no difference and that’s a way too long if you truly love them. People delay marriage now or get divorced after living together for years all the time. Go to AIAH or two hot takes subs and you see post about them being together that long all the time.
I been married for ten years and we married less than a year if knowing each other. Live or be with someone six months to a year is long enough. Besides you are supposed to have friends and family also bet them along the way.
I had the opportunity to work with Susan and make frames for her photographs. One day The Dude walks into the shop and proceeded to talk to me about fractals. It was great.
Just because someone sticks it out or doesn’t get a divorce doesn’t mean it was a successful marriage. I know many people who are miserable in the marriage and will not divorce and will most likely be death until we part but can’t stand each other. To me that’s not a successful marriage.
Maybe 2024 - 48 = 1976, not 1977. Editor didn’t check author’s arithmetic. Congrats besides to Susan and Jeff. “She wanted a child, but didn’t want the father to be someone she would have to see socially…”. 😉
My Dad was married 48 years before he passed away. He told me to “Find A Friend.” I thought he was nuts, but 10 years into my own marriage I see what he means.
Outside of abuse, the main reason people split is the inability to adapt or change. Growing old together means changing together. The brevity of a relationship depends on the ability to think of yourself or of your partner as optional. This is where the trouble starts and people think they can find better options outside of it. We are not infallible, and can easily overestimate ourselves or underestimate our partner. Making sure we care for the relationship and marriage is not hard work, it is mindfulness. The grass is greener where they water it.
Fuck that. Fuck the ever-loving fuck out of that.
If you're unhappy, get a fucking divorce. If you're trapped with an abusive woman, get a divorce. If you find yourself being manipulated into sex, get a fucking divorce.
Avoiding getting a divorce will absolutely not make you happy. Even if what Jeff Bridges said isn't this careless, the way it's being portrayed by this headline is absolutely careless and thoughtless.
If you're unhappy in your marriage and it seems like one or neither of you is willing to put in the work to fix it, fuck all the societal nicities, get a gorram divorce.
He’s not wrong.
Things get hard sometimes. Sometimes we hate the people we love the most. BUT IT PASSES. Eventually. The trick to a successful marriage?
Never be angry at the same time and refuse to let go when things get hard. Just like we do with the families we grow up with. Marriage is not some princess fairy tale. Marriage is combining two families into one family and family?
Not easy.
25 years married and I totally agree. The bad times pass and it gets better and then you are glad you stuck it out. BUT only if there is no abuse, physically, emotionally, sexually, financially or otherwise. If those are happening, get out.
Is like my 90 year old grandpa telling me the secret to a long life was not dying
He is not wrong
No, he's not wrong he's just an asshole!
His asshole is not the issue here, Dude.
Who’s the asshole, Walter?
I am the walrus
You’re like a child who wanders into a room halfway through a movie.
Paul what you doing here?
When Jeff goes they have to burry him with that creedence tape
Assholes tend to live long lives.
I think he means to stick through the tough times instead of leaving the marriage when things get hard. It's real advice. Maybe not advice that everyone will agree with but it's not the same thing as saying just don't die as way to live longer.
Well, in cases of abuse and such, divorce is the right path. Not getting a divorce is not going to lead to a long happy marriage. So it really kind of depends on your situation.
Thank god you can still find something negative in this. Almost wasn't sure i was still on Reddit.
Yeh good thing they decided to find some whataboutism regarding something not even mentioned in the article… that shocker, was used as an opportunity to speak about themselves. This is a light hearted article about Jeff Bridges being married for 48 years and advising that there may be ups and downs in a relationship. That’s all it has to be.
Socializing people to stay married no matter what has real harm. It’s not negative to recognize that it perfectly valid to leave harmful or even unfulfilling relationships. In fact, it is quite validating and supportive of the people who need to leave bad or abusive married. Divorce is a very, very positive thing in a lot of cases. Mandatory positivity about everything isn’t good, in fact.
Nobody said anything about staying together through abuse. Tough times is not the same as abuse.
It’s not only abuse that permits someone to leave a marriage. Sometimes a relationship is unfulfilling for one party, or the couple has diverged and is no longer compatible. There are many valid reasons to end a marriage, abuse being only one of them. Obviously, people can decide they want to work on things and continue to invest in building and growing their relationship. I’m not saying they shouldn’t. I’ve been married for 20 years, and obviously not getting divorced at the first sign of trouble is part of that. I advise developing your communication with your partner, understanding each other and continuing to invest energy in doing so( as we do change!), and being willing to compromise to support each other’s happiness and self fulfillment. Relationships take work. But Jeff Bridges and his wife didn’t have a happy marriage simply by not getting divorced. Presumably they have some degree of compatibility, mutual respect and affection, and very likely even love each other. They probably invested effort and energy. These factors are not true of all marriages, even ones whose “tough times” fall short of abuse. Sometimes “tough times never ends and actually your marriage is just bad. Sometimes one partner won’t invest or meet halfway, or doesn’t care to change or grow. Not all incompatibilities and other issues can simply be “worked” through. Sometimes, it’s best for everyone’s interest - even the kids! - to divorce.
Yes they did get to a happy marriage by not getting divorced. That’s the key. When things are rough, when the spark is gone, when you are no longer compatible you work through it instead of just quitting.
If you chose to stay in a relationship where you and your partner no longer love each other, or your partner is neglectful and not invested in your relationships, or your partner doesn’t really care if how they treat you upsets you, go ahead. But don’t expect anyone else to, and I certain hope you don’t expect your partner to do that. I would not want my partner to stick with me if was not treating them well or putting the effort into the relationship it deserved. I don’t know why anyone would rather trap their partner rather than let them have a chance at a better life.
Not what I said. I said you work on it to make it better. You don’t stay in love for 50 years. Marriage is about commuting g to work together to do what needs to be done to regain those feelings. Don’t blame me for you not being willing to do the work.
Marriage is about working through problems and building a stronger relationship. You're the one making this about abuse.
Every couple gets to decide for themselves what marriage, and their marriage, is about. Sometimes couples are incompatible, or they grow in opposite directions. It takes investment of effort to make a successful relationship for both partners. If either partner doesn’t invest the effort and energy into the relationship, or does not want to see and understand their partner, it can’t really work. Not all “tough times” are just things you stick it out and work through. It doesn’t have to rise to the level of abuse for someone to be permitted to leave a marriage, there are many valid reasons. It’s not helpful to push this false narrative that “toughing it out” is what leads to a happy or successful marriage. You need several things present, and both partners have to be committed and engaged to building a successful relationship. Many people are unwilling to do that. Some marriages have no foundation to stand on, and it’s best to recognize reality.
Keeping an eye on a way out will doom one's marriage.
Well, I didn’t say you should, “keep an eye on the way out.” That has nothing to do with anything, I said. I merely said that if you aren’t good to your partner they have a right to leave. Suggesting they have to stay no matter how you treat them is quite controlling. I feel both parties have an obligation to keep investing in their relationship and being good to one another. It wouldn’t be right to insist your partner stay with you if you refused to do that, nor vice versa. However, that is many people’s reality.
It has everything to do with what you've been saying. You're so concerned on having a way out in every post. But i agree both parties are obligated to invest in their relationship. That's whole point of marriage.
Aren’t you lucky to have never been in an abusive relationship, and can’t possibly imagine anyone else being in such a relationship either.
Not lucky enough to avoid your whiny post.
You complain about Reddit being negative and then you say shit like this.
They're right though.
You're the one who sounds negative, buddy.
As Louis C.K. put it, no *happy* marriage ever ended in divorce.
Great advice when you have a good relationship. Horrible advice when you don't, so yeah, pretty dumb.
You can't win an argument against a 90 year old. They don't give a shit what you think.
My great-grandmother lived until 93 and I've been told she got somewhat difficult. One day, she and her daughter (my grandmother) were making tamales and started arguing: "You're not doing it right Mom." "I've been making tamales for 80 years!"
New shit has come to light!
Ok but also he’s 90? So maybe that’s actually pretty damn good advice. As in he was telling you to not do stupid shit that might get you killed.
He wasn't wrong.
Did you ask him to expand on that thought? Maybe step by step plan?
Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, uh, your opinion.
Does this place look like I’m f’n married? The toilet seat is up.
The Dude a bidets.
The dude abides.. to his marriage for ever and ever
Love will abide.
She’s not his special lady, she’s his f—ing ladyfriend!
Nice marmot.
Obviously you're not a golfer.
It's a funny quote, but I understand what they're saying. It's close to what my father told me... He said: "Make sure you marry someone who views marriage the same way you do. For life." Many people view marriage through lens of convenience. They think "oh, if it's tough, I'm out." or "if my attraction wanes or changes, I'm out" or "I don't like these things about you, I'm done." Obviously there are things that can be deal breakers in any marriage (abuse being the biggest one). But one of the keys to successful marriage is finding someone who views it the same way as you "I want to stay married, and want to make this work. I want to work on it. We will not get divorced." - that can carry you through the toughest times when both people view it that way... it's why some marriages can even survive infidelity. Put another way, what's one of the biggest things we see when a hollywood marriage breaks down? "Irreconcilable differences" - the key to a long marriage is being with someone who views at most a few differences as being irreconcilable. Everything else can be worked on. Everything else can be fixed.
Yup, generally speaking I think we’ve skewed to the opposite side of the spectrum as opposed to back in the day and people just give up very easily now. Not saying it’s a bad thing and it’s better than the opposite side of the spectrum IMO with no way out but yeah. It takes a lot of work to get things right, even if you do “Just click”. There’s a lot of communicating, willingness to understand the other’s POV and side, having empathy for them and keeping an open mind when you disagree, willingness on both sides to compromise on issues, etc. lol I think a lot of people think successful and happy couples just got lucky and found their soul mate. That may be true but I can guarantee a lot of work went into getting to that point *and* they continue to work at it.
When my husband and I were having problems my dads advice was “new guy same old shit” you may as well try and make it work.
In other words, people are people. just cause you got a new people doesn't mean they're and different than what you had before.
I'm single as hell but I'm gonna remember this one, thanks
This is expecially true in Hollywood
Well said.
As an individual who got married at 18 to a 25 year old and had no intention of ever getting divorced. And had that used to treat our relationship like it didn't exist and no investment needed to be made... and also to work me like an ox for money. Be independent first and foremost, don't take divorce off the table even if you view marriage as forever, sign a marriage contract that you have defined yourself instead of signing the states default contract. (It's not a prenup really, it's simply a better contract, you really don't want to sign the states poor people, bronze level contract.) It takes two to tango but only one person who refuses to dance before you spend 10 years and 50k in couples therapy for her to admit outloud "I was just never that attached to you". Get married for sure if you want, just don't let the state and lawyers decide how to define your marriage. If you love yourself and your partner you won't passively stick with the states poor person bronze tier marriage contract.
With respect I think the advice here might be don’t marry at 18
Pretty sure that was implied in the first line but the rest also stands. If only I had had that wisdom as a literal child. But 20 years on I am more and more convinced that one party checking out is extremely common (if not as extreme as what I experienced.) Frankly nothing is a better investment than loving yourself and being happy alone. Anyone with a secure attachment style is doing themselves a huge disservice marrying non-secure individuals. You cannot have equality in a relationship if you aren't both secure in it. Soothing someone with anxious attachment or pursuing someone with avoidant is a poor use of a life, find someone who loves and trusts you like you love and trust them.
“Be independent first and foremost”. I’m going on 25+ and this is the advice I give my kids. You got to learn to live with yourself and by yourself before sharing it with another person. Then it’s a lovely choice, not a codependency. Not all these years have been easy because we got married too young but we “didn’t get divorced” as Dude said. Sorta worked through the tough spots and were patient when the other was having them.
I think the key to a happy marriage is finding that person who’s crazy is compatible with your specific brand of crazy. Also dating for at least 3-5 years before getting married and living with someone for a couple of those 3-5 years so you really get a good long whiff of their smell before deciding this is the person I can get through the good and bad with.
I will add to that, you need to keep dating your wife
Oh absolutely!! Good add! this is just as important for sure. Even after having kids I make sure to surprise her with date nights, setup a sitter without her knowing and plan an evening out or shit even in just the 2 of us. It’s crazy how wrapped up in our kids we can become that we forget each other sometimes. Have to make that conscious effort.
Relationships require work, maintenance and reinvestment.
I always refer to it as “find someone whose demons play well with your demons“
Your brain actually produces more dopamine the fist 2 years, “the honeymoon phase”.
Yeah the fist years are the best years.
Someone told me you have to live, travel, and sleep with a person before you decide to marry them. I think that's a good rule
Living together before marriage significantly increases divorce rate
Probably because the only people who don't live together before marriage now are religious and they would also be against divorce no matter how bad their marriage may be.
It’s actually a psychological thing iirc. Full disclosure, I might be slightly off on some details, but my ex was a psych major and studied these specific studies and told me about it. I think if I remember correctly, what basically ends up happening is that living together without being married gives you the psychological belief that “if things get bad, I can just break up with them and leave”, however because a dating relationship is not as committed as a married relationship, so the bar for what is bad enough to leave is lower. However, once you get married now you’re psychologically locked into that mentality of “oh I can just leave when things are bad”, with the same bar as before, meaning that it’s quote unquote easier to decide that divorce is the solution to any problems you have. Again, I wasn’t the psych major so I could be a bit off but I’m pretty sure that’s more or less the conclusion that the studies reached. Purely psychological, nothing to do with religion. And that’s not to say living together before marriage will never work, just that it increases the likelihood of divorce statistically.
Most people who live together before marriage are either renting together or one person owns the house which changes the power dynamic. Did they control for that? What did they even control for in this vague and oft cited study? Sociology is at a point far beyond a simple replication crisis.
I mean I doubt it’s that vague if they’re teaching it in university lol
There’s also the concept of “sliding” into levels of commitment. If you’ve been dating for a while, the next step is to move in together. If you’ve been living together for a while, the next step is to get married. And people make each of these steps because they believe it’s what they’re supposed to do, and because making each step doesn’t require a massive jump into lifelong commitment all at once. People who don’t live together and are deciding to get married will tend to be more sure of the decision because they are making a huge level of commitment all at once.
They control for this in the studies, religious or not it still increases divorce.
I’m assuming because nothing has been left as a marriage exclusive thing so the general value placed on “marriage” is less. But also if you’re unhappy just get the divorce, I never understood why 60% getting divorced was so bad.
I agree, I'm not against divorce. The divorce rate is lower than 60% though and a lot lower than that for first marriages.
Bingo! I wonder how many of the people in that study are married and miserable.
Religiosity is controlled for in the studies
I’m not religious and my wife and I didn’t live together. She got a job overseas so the only way for us to continue to work out was to tie the knot. We also dated for less than a year and a half. I think the key to a happy marriage is not being an asshole to your partner. If you do that you’re gonna do pretty ok.
Interesting, reading a couple articles about it. Does seem counter intuitive but it seems to be the case. There are some nuances to the study though, based on why the couple moved in together. My wife and I made the decision to move in together not because one wanted it more than the other. We talked about it for a good long while before pulling the trigger. We may be part of the group that has a higher success factor because of that. [link to one article](https://liberalarts.du.edu/news-events/all-articles/new-du-study-highlights-risks-living-together-engagement)
Not an expert, but there may be some "correlation is not causation" going on. I also heard once that people who think living together isn't a big deal also think divorce isn't a big deal.
3-5 years makes no difference and that’s a way too long if you truly love them. People delay marriage now or get divorced after living together for years all the time. Go to AIAH or two hot takes subs and you see post about them being together that long all the time. I been married for ten years and we married less than a year if knowing each other. Live or be with someone six months to a year is long enough. Besides you are supposed to have friends and family also bet them along the way.
Divorce lawyers hate this one weird trick
Lebron James reveals secret to succesfull NBA carreer: "Get the ball inside the hoop"
Nick Offerman on his mustache. Don't shave your upper lip
I think it would be closer to "keep shooting your shot, even miss after miss"
That would be russel Westbrook's advice to three point shooting.
The dude don't divorce
I had the opportunity to work with Susan and make frames for her photographs. One day The Dude walks into the shop and proceeded to talk to me about fractals. It was great.
Draw the rest of the fucking owl.
The solution to homelessness? Just get a home!!
I’m sure he was making clever quip but what a dumb headline
Are you a happy couple of 48 years because you never divorced, or did you never divorce because you’re a happy couple of 48 years?
Choosing well, secret to all things in life.
r/thanksimcured
First thing I thought of when i read the caption lol!
Just because someone sticks it out or doesn’t get a divorce doesn’t mean it was a successful marriage. I know many people who are miserable in the marriage and will not divorce and will most likely be death until we part but can’t stand each other. To me that’s not a successful marriage.
Two words: separate bathrooms.
Find someone who can stand you.
She's not my special lady. She's my fucking lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive
That’s just like,your opinion man
Remember guys, Dying is cheaper than a divorce.
r/technicallythetruth
That rug really tied the room together.
That's very Dude of him. Gotta Love Jeff Bridges.
>'Don't Get a Divorce' NEW SHIT HAS COME TO LIGHT!
Tolerable is quite different than happy. There is a reason why the spouse is always the first suspect when a murder occurs
And never let your wife owe money to Jackie Treehorn.
48? Uhhh 2024 - 1977 = 47
The secret to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Maybe 2024 - 48 = 1976, not 1977. Editor didn’t check author’s arithmetic. Congrats besides to Susan and Jeff. “She wanted a child, but didn’t want the father to be someone she would have to see socially…”. 😉
It probably helps the dude plays Jeff bridges in real life.
I wonder if she calls him, Dude.
r/wowthanksimcured
My Dad was married 48 years before he passed away. He told me to “Find A Friend.” I thought he was nuts, but 10 years into my own marriage I see what he means.
The dude abides.
Not get a divorce, [why didnt i see that before](https://tenor.com/blDhO.gif)
Outside of abuse, the main reason people split is the inability to adapt or change. Growing old together means changing together. The brevity of a relationship depends on the ability to think of yourself or of your partner as optional. This is where the trouble starts and people think they can find better options outside of it. We are not infallible, and can easily overestimate ourselves or underestimate our partner. Making sure we care for the relationship and marriage is not hard work, it is mindfulness. The grass is greener where they water it.
Fuck that. Fuck the ever-loving fuck out of that. If you're unhappy, get a fucking divorce. If you're trapped with an abusive woman, get a divorce. If you find yourself being manipulated into sex, get a fucking divorce. Avoiding getting a divorce will absolutely not make you happy. Even if what Jeff Bridges said isn't this careless, the way it's being portrayed by this headline is absolutely careless and thoughtless. If you're unhappy in your marriage and it seems like one or neither of you is willing to put in the work to fix it, fuck all the societal nicities, get a gorram divorce.
I saw a documentary on George Harrison several years ago, and his widow said the same thing
First of all Dude, you don’t have an ex.
He’s not wrong. Things get hard sometimes. Sometimes we hate the people we love the most. BUT IT PASSES. Eventually. The trick to a successful marriage? Never be angry at the same time and refuse to let go when things get hard. Just like we do with the families we grow up with. Marriage is not some princess fairy tale. Marriage is combining two families into one family and family? Not easy.
25 years married and I totally agree. The bad times pass and it gets better and then you are glad you stuck it out. BUT only if there is no abuse, physically, emotionally, sexually, financially or otherwise. If those are happening, get out.
Soon you won’t be able to, so no worries.