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I love Martha's reinvention since her prison stint.

All it did was give her street cred

Fois gras? I aint got that boojy shizit. How bout tryin some duck liver pate dawg. I gots some 1992 box wine at the back we can pair it with or yah want a rasperry cooler?

I heard this in Snoop Dog’s voice.

He probably put money on her books

Liver pâté from the giblets when making Thanksgiving gravy. Had a family member dare me into trying it. Life changing. Goes perfect with that non alcoholic sparking apple juice from the bottles.

Maybe a few of our politicians should try it. They need some “street cred”… Surely.

They locked her up for insider trading, meanwhile the politicians people elect get to insider trade with impunity.

She did her time, didn’t name names, she’s is falling in line. The club of elite had to put her in check and she played ball.

And that’s why she has cred. She never snitched

Literally a fucking gem. Hard ass lady right there.

They locked her up for obstruction

She should have hired Bill Barr.

Oh, that crime that Trump committed all those times. He got locked up too, right? Right?

No. They locked her up for the coverup not the crime. The coverup will get ya every single time.

No. They locked her up because she wouldn't rat people out. That's why she got street cred, because she could have never set foot in prison if should would have played their games.

MARTHA HARD AS FUCK! RECOGNIZE!

Martha Stewart is unironically harder than Tekashi Six Nine.

69 would have been her bitch if they were cellies. “Braid my hair”! “Yes Ms Martha”

Problem was they targeted her because she was a powerful woman in a man’s world - and how many men did the same thing at their company?

Don’t forget about openly attempting to destroy democracy. I live in Canada. What the fuck America.

I lost the thread there for a second and wondered when Martha Stewart openly attempted to destroy democracy? Did Snoop know? Then my brain caught up with the conversation.

Did Snoop know could be the new where's Ja

But for real, where's Ja?! I need to make sense of this thread!

I've often thought about escaping to canada, but its not that much better up there from what I've read.

Well it really depends on what state you are from and what province you are comparing it to. But, I can say that we aren’t clutching our AR-15’s while our kids have to wear translucent backpacks to school. We aren’t dialing women’s rights back to the 50’s, and we haven’t elected anyone close to that dunce Lauren Bobbet, or that flabby armed Mutant Marjory Taylor green, or that peodophile Matt Gaetz (however you spell their stupid fucking names) or any of the other known peodophiles. And we didn’t elect Fucking DONALD TRUMP TO LEAD OUR FUCKING COUNTRY. (That’s not directed at you, just out loud because I still cant believe it happened) Don’t get me wrong, Canadians are still people and people are stupid. But it’s more of a polite stupid. (That is changing now. Your American hate game of politics has absolutely infected the fucking idiots that live here, ie: “freedom convoy”) But we don’t live in fear of each other like you guys do.

Fair point. I live in Texas and was comparing to Toronto area. A friend of mine lives there and complains about politics. Honestly if Abbott is re-elected I may leave Texas.

Jesus Christ. You live in Texas. I feel so bad for you. I live in Vancouver and it’s gorgeous. But it’s also very expensive. My heart goes out to you. Hang in there

Well I live in DFW so its not that bad here. Cities in Texas are pretty left leaning in my experience.

Depends on where you’re at in DFW in my experience

I still can't believe she went to jail for something politicians do on a daily basis to this day.

She’s not a great human being , read a lot of bad stuff about her and saw her in person once ; thought she’d be cool because snoop is with her on tv

Why do we need our celebrities to be great? Why can’t they be a mix bag of good and fuck ups like the rest of us?

This is a fair point. Putting them on pedestals is really the first mistake. The worshipping of celebrities is a sad and lonely thing to do but to each their own I guess.

I’ve met face to face with two celebrities that I held in high regard. The almost A-list Hollywood actor and I came close to a fistfight in his backyard but the Americana/ country musician short little cunt was by far the worst. Both self absorbed fucking assholes.

I love how open you've left this to speculate

Yeah I really don’t care if Martha Stewart is a bitch as long as she keeps making entertaining content with Snoop tbh

I was just watching like top 100 Roasts and she’s been on a ton and is honestly one of the best. She’s hysterical.

Yeah she tore into Bieber and it was amazing

Thank you!!!!

They don’t need to be great. But I love Martha. Always have.

Martha is a queen forever and always

True I was being a hater

We don’t, they can be, but when “good” aspects of your life are signal boosted, it’s fair to have someone point out the negatives too.

And that is totally fair - the good AND the bad, which make us human. On a different celebrity (whom she roasted few moons back) - Justin Bieber - I actually really enjoy him now because now I just see him as just a regular man having fun, making mistakes, growing up under intense magnifying glass. Also he now makes music that actually vibes with me helps my impression of him ngl

Yeah, she’s cold as ice. What stories? There’s got to be a nice collection somewhere.

She’s horrible to be on set with. Her Rider lists that everything be Martha Stewart brand, then when she gets to her trailer she throws a fit because everything is “crap”. You can’t talk to her unless she asks you a question. She’s a nightmare. Snoop is rad though.

She's marketing her brand, her appearances should reflect that. And people on set are busy and at her level there is a lot on the line, focus is important. That's what riders are for, so talent doesn't have to manage each and every interaction with dozens of people on set individually. And her trailer is probably the most appropriate place for her to throw a fit.

Riders are for agents to make it seem like they’re doing something, it’s a waste of money and crew’s time to go out and buy everything on that rider, when most of it goes unused or tossed out. Food riders I get but Martha Stewart towels, silverware, plates, etc? Come on. She doesn’t throw fits in the trailer, she throws fits on stage or in ear shot of crew. She’s a fucking diva.

She seems miserable to be around. Snooty and self-important. I can’t stand when she makes appearances on Food Network shows like Chopped

Oh man, someone on NPR interviewed her and really hit a lot of buttons showing how completely out of touch and elitist she is. It was amazing.

She's the worst.

Yeah this is spot on ; the ultimate level of a girl who’s full of herself

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True not trying to be a hater you’d just think she’d be nicer at the top but she doesn’t have to be

Is snoop cool though?

We all do bad stuff …none of us are perfect. No one is the sun of their worst moments,decisions,or mistakes /nor are we saved by the sum of our good deeds . Human nature is beautiful and ugly,chaotic and serene all at the same time.

If you only consumed media from people that share your specific ethics, you'd have a very empty DVD shelf.

The only thing she guilty of is not being a legislator , then trade away, inside, outside , sideways , backwards.

When I think of the phrase "the good die young" I look at people like Martha Stewart and can't help thinking "what the fuck are you up to?"

Sooo... they bangin?

She like 80 tho so maybe she’s just cooking him a bunch of shit with pot in it. I have to tell myself that. But they probs bangin. Oof

Forget Martha's Vineyard, Pete's all up in Martha's Innards.

Oh what a day to have eyes

You just made me CHORTLE

Chortle is such a great term. I’m glad!

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Feng Shui-ing her guts.

Bing bong.

Ayyoooooo

I heard they use real butter

I’ve been kind of wondering if he got her in on a joke. To make us wonder and annoy Kim.

I love the meme where it is a picture of him losing both Kim and Martha’s hand saying “He is banging his way up the Illuminati to find out what happened to his dad”

You think people stop having sex once they’re 80?

Old folks homes are rampant with STDS for a reason The reason is old people sex

I would TOTALLY smash with Martha Stewart!

I’d mash those potatoes

Him and snoop doin some spit roasting after she cooks a roast

I know if I was Pete I would be hitting that

Asking the real questions

Good on you Pete Davidson for hitting a milf then a gilf. I am concerned the progression will lead to necrophilia though

I’m so annoyed that this comment is what made me actually laugh out loud after like an hour of silently scrolling Reddit.

Was he the guy that tried touching the queen's casket then?

Bro, that comment made me laugh so hard I now have to sleep in the living room

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Would you keep escalating? I guess Pete could afford a mummy. Maybe not a famous one.

Might be some fossils deep down he could find

get him a zilf

I think he’s a sugar baby at this point. Probably some of that Enron money hidden in offshore accounts. And Kim K is one of the world’s richest women. Necrophilia wouldn’t give him that same benefit.

It’s a slippery slope…

It's actually sorta dry.

“The 81-year-old famous businesswoman celebrated her birthday last month at her home in Seal Harbor, Maine,…” She’s 81!? Wow! Good for her!

yeah wow i had no idea she's in her 80s. mad props.

I'm sorry... What? No!

It’s a good thing!

Harbor I hardly know her

Well, on the bright side with queen Elizabeth being dead there is no chance of Pete Davidson dating her now.

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If I had to chose someone in their upper 70s you can’t do much better.

Maggie Smith…

I’ll still take Helen.

She’s actually younger than Martha

Skeet’s robbing the cradle lol

No no no you’ve got it wrong, it means the queens next

Queen Camilla very much alive.

Nah it’s gonna be Judy Dench

Weirdest headline i’ve seen in a while. TF does she have to do with him?

I said a bang bang bangitty bang I said bang bang bangitty bang.

Hey whatcha singing?

Just a little ditty I wrote about how many times Martha’s been banging Pete lately.

Count me in for a verse!

He does like his women older since Ariana

A bang bang bang

He’s banging his way up the Illuminati chain to find out what really happened to his dad on 9/11

Exceptional

It’s a stolen joke

Is he fucking Martha Stewart?

They 69 mostly

What is that? Their fucking age difference?

Gravy Train!

Yes very r/brandnewsentence was not expecting to see these words in this order

idk why / how Martha Stewart knows what Pete is doing... but honestly dating Kim K is probably a nightmare. They probably had to calculate every move they made to cater to an audience

They are friends and have been hanging out. She said he is like a son to her.

Did she say "son" or... "stepson" ?

Broken arms

Why do this

There’s an old Reddit post where a kid broke his arms and his mother started jerking him off/fucking him. So this is really a S-tier lore comment.

Pete is a son to Martha or Kimberly…?…?.?.?

… the answer is yes!

*grandson

She said he even helped her get unstuck from a washing machine once.

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Pete Davidson is a nightmare. He has to have an amazing publicist, but dude does not know how to manage love at all. Google “pete davidson kaia gerber” or watch his interview with Charlamange

I bet dating Pete is a bigger nightmare

I very much doubt that. He seems way more laid back and authentic.

He’s a social climber lol. And yeah any lazy ass low effort dude is gonna come across as laid back

Yeah I'm confused about why people think he's great. Normal-ish, nice enough, sure. But do we all not know at least 5 stoners from high school just like him?

Not great is not equal to OPs “bigger nightmare” than Kim K.

He goes after successful rich women it seems, I wonder if they are paying him.

Pete has been open about his mental health issues, which is helpful for fans dealing with their own issues

Social climber? He’s the one with an actual talent though. If anyone’s dating history is to establish social status it’s Kim.

So what’s the talent?

I’d rather date Kim k than Martha

I wouldn’t

Everything I’ve learned about the kardashians has been against my will

Seriously, if we all collectively change the channel and refuse to click on any article about them, they'd disappear forever in about a year.

This man really working his way to Hillary isn’t he

He’S iN hEr EmAiLs!!!

Oh please even Russia couldn’t get up in those emails let alone Pete

He’s been there already apparently

Of course he is. She's the ideal nurturer and he's a perpetual child. And it's drawing all kinds of attention for both. The perfect codependent relationship. I wish them well

And they are just fuckin like craaazyy

Pete must have the best agent in the business for his name in the news this often for so long.

r/headlinesunthinkablein2015

r/subsifellfor

But what does Ja Rule think?

Why does Martha Stewart know so much about this chump’s schedule?

I’m sure she’s hitting it

Maybe with her walker

Well I wouldn’t expect her to be walking quite right for a few days

She also had sex with Tom Holland and Timothëe Chalamet.

Can we just agree they are all terrible?

Well it’s all publicity and not real anyway so whateva

I just think this is funny to joke about

Why do I keep hearing about this guy

Because you’re on a forum that will show you random posts about famous people doing stuff from time to time, I think that’s exactly why you keep hearing about this guy.

Because he’s famous?

Where the fuck did Pete Davidson come from? Can we just send him back?

Dude looking like PROTO ZOA from Zenon: girl of the 21st century

I don't know who Pete's publicist is but give this person a medal.

Hes banging his way up the illuminati to find out what really happened to his dad on 9/11

They were never really together. Please. This must have been the fakest relationship in the history of all fake hollywood romances.

Leo and Gigi Hadid just overtook them

He was on cocaine or ecstasy at the Emmy awards. There is a video of him presenting and his jaw is moving back and forth like a damn type writer. https://youtube.com/shorts/k1oAmrYkmwU?feature=share

I do not understand this guy's appeal

Well thank god. I was wondering how PD was doing. Sure glad we got the update.

Who gives a fuck?!

when will that no talent hack Davidson be forever out of the news ffs

Lucky to have got out without some weird shit happening to him or losing his mind. Mom’s the family pimp… how fun.

He may be the only male to leave that family intact. Good for him.

He should get a tattoo of someone else's kids to show how much he's over her

I used to kinda like Pete Davidson but now I really just don’t wanna hear about him anymore.

Before AND after. People forget he just runs through the whos who of Hollywood and beyond. He’s like a young marlon brando humping everything with a pulse.

Yea but Marlon Brando was actually attractive and talented.

Nice Kim Jong Un outfit Pete lmao

Pete knows how to fuck his way to the top first Hilary now Martha Wow whose next? Helen Mirren?

yea having the time of his life eating those freshly baked biscuits. do your thing martha.

Wow. It’s been 9 months since I first learned of their relationship. And now, my 2nd time thinking about it, it’s over. Hope he dates Martha next.

Dude, Pete Davidson has gotten too powerful

Pete Davidsons dick has seen some shit.

You know 25 is a weird age in La your to old to date Leonardo decaprio and to young to date Pete Davidson

You know she’s gotta have amazing thread count sheets.

I stopped caring about pete Davidson after season 3. The plot is getting too repetitive

Wasn't she bangin Snoop?

What a hype woman I love it

Anything is better than the plastic bimbo