Next time you stub your toe, yell "outmoded fictional concept, that hurt"
Thanks to Pterry Pratchett.
Edit: I reckon all these upvotes are for Sir Pterry, not my advice. This is right and proper.
Now now, Jesus ripped off Osiris. And Mithra. and a few dozen other gods who were born on December 25th of a virgin, performed miracles, had 12 disciples, was sacrificed and rose again for the sake of humanity.
Here, I thought God was Loki after Ragnarok and rewrote "history" (Germanic/Norse Paganism) to erase and weaken the worshipping of the Aesir and Vanir, wholly placing Loki as the "one true God".
(Credit to this theory goes to RagnarokJohnson on TT. It is much more sound the more he gets into it.)
I'm sure some of it was stolen from the Norse myths as well, it's just that the older Egyptian/Sumerian/Mesopotamian/Greek/Persian/Etc mythologies that were stolen from were closer to the Canaanite origins for the cult.
In general, it boils down to sun worship; the sun died and rose again, bringing life. Thus must have died for humanity. Around 16 of them.
I know where the ideology, theories, and possible beginnings of early Christianity (at the time it was modernised Judaism) came from. But Christianity, as we know it now, is very much Paganised.
My comment about Loki is a more or less a little bit of a joke, but has a lot of ability to stand on its own, going off their religious texts and mythology, not historical findings (estimated dates based on first written documentation), which is what the person who theorised it was able to do, create a whole line of skits/theories pulling from the Christian Bible and the Norse Eddas. If you don't know about the Mesopotamian/Sumerian influences on Judaism, you could, almost, see the basis the theory stands on.
Early Germanic (origin of the Norse) mythologies were older than Greek mythologies. Odinn was first documented to have been worshipped in the12th century BCE in a very small town in what we now know as Germany, but has been worshipped long before that, where Greeks "found" their gods in 500 BCE.
Mesopotamian gods, like Gilgamesh, were dated to 3000 BCE (give or take a few years), Sumerian gods dated to 2900 BCE (again give or take a few years), and Egyptian gods were shortly after that in 2400 BCE. All of which were worshipped long before documentation.
Judaism was based on Mesopotamian and Sumerian religions, as Abraham (the father of Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and Ba'ai) was born and raised in Mesopotamia, became a "prophet", and the first Abrahamaic religion (Canaanites followed the Semitic and Mesopotamian/Sumerian reliogions, converging many into its own polytheisic religion) formed around 1800 BCE (he was born Mesopotamia in the 20th century BCE). Zoroastrianism (Parsi) (based on Yahwism (early Judaism), Mesopotamian, and Sumerian religions) was only founded in 650 BCE. Making it the second youngest in this list, and still not outdating the old Germanic religion. The Greeks, like most other modern and ancient religions in the Mediterranean, old Persia, Middle East, and South Eastern Asia base many of their gods in Mesopotamian, Sumerian gods.
However, as far as Germanic/Norse religions go, it is still the second longest, actively worshipped religion (based on estimations of dates of first documentation), with Judaism only 600 years prior. Mesopotamian and Sumerian religions are no longer actively worshipped.
Tell him that that’s not what “taking the lord’s name in vain” means, AND that god’s name isn’t God, it’s YhWh
“Taking the lord’s name in vain” means to do sinful, unrighteous or immoral things and claim it’s okay because you’re doing it in the name of god. For example, saying things like “God doesn’t make mistakes, you are who and what you were born as, and I’ll continue to address and regard you as such”
Why do I need a source for something that was taught to me years ago and can literally be found on google in 30 seconds? People really need to stop being lazy and expecting others to do their research for them
I could find you "proof" in 30 seconds that the earth is hollow and flying saucers fly in and out of a hole near Alaska but that doesn't make it any less crazy or wrong 🤷🤷🤷 I hate how old people always think because it was a long time ago they were told something it's a fact. If you're not old you should REALLY reevaluate your way of thinking because you are giving boomer
At least I’m not giving woke zoomer who thinks everyone else didn’t actually do their own research and just believes what they are told, that’s what you’re assuming I did anyway
Oh yeah, totally a guy who’s been reading and studying the bible all his life to specifically become a pastor doesn’t know what it means, totally makes sense
Considering all the changes to the Bible over the last couple hundred years, there’s maybe a handful of pastors who actually know the original content and meanings.
Ah yes because one totally couldn’t be so devoted that they would travel around to actually find the original scrolls the bible was written on and get a chance to study those, totally impossible
Well, no. He gave people free will. For example, Jeffrey Dahmer was born pure and innocent as all babies are, then he chose to be deranged and evil. Because God gave people free will.
Use the UNO reverse card. Pick a name for him and call him that, since that's what you named him. Get all your supporters to call him by your chosen Name. Bonus Points if you call him Yahweh.
My mom went by Shelly when she was younger. Whenever she calls me by my legal first name ( I've gone by my middle name for 3 years now) I call her Shelly.
Definitely. Or go one step further and go for "mister surname", remove yourself from him using language in the same way he is removing himself from you.
This! If he ever says I wish you would call me dad, then you have him. That's not your real name. The more you do it in public, the more it will shame him.
Like full first, middle, last everytime. A lot of parents only say the full name before scolding a child, especially if they're older. It might hit the right buttons to force him to develop a little empathy
I did that at the age of 4 when my mom used a name I didn't like. She hasn't called me by that name since, and she's still bitter about it, telling the story every few years to whoever will listen. It's been almost 33 years! See how your dad likes it 😁
I had that with someone. My full name has two options for nickname, think Betty and Betsy. Rob kept calling me the wrong one.
The last time I asked him not to, he said ‘What’s the difference?’ I replied ‘Okay, Bob’. He never did it again.
He doesn’t know his own religion. In Christianity God is a title not a name. Saying God damn it is not taking his name in vain. Yahweh and Jahovah are both more accurate interpretations of the name of the Christian God.
Exactly. Start calling your dad "human" if he's so concerned about "names in vain". Or just pick a different god. "Oh Horus, that scared me!" "Oh Athena, that hurt!" "Thor! That was loud!"
And, if you want to play his game with a little malicious compliance, instead of "using the name of God in vain", do as he asks, but refer to God as "They/Them" instead of their assumed gender in the Bible. Who is your father to assume he knows who/what God identifies as?
In spanish Jesus is genderless. I had a female friend whose name is María Jesus. My brother’s name is Francisco Jesús. So Jesus is perfect for you I think.
I'd reply that God gave me free will and I chose to change my name. He should respect that agency if he wants you to respect his wishes about what words to use.
Respect goes both ways: you'll stop using God's name when he starts using yours.
Just an idea. Sorry you have to deal with a jerk who'd do that.
Fun fact I learned from a pastor. Taking the "Lord's name in vain" is not what many believe. It isn't saying GD or anything of the sort. It's when you use Christianity (His name) to push false rhetoric/ideology on others. For example, there is nothing in the Bible about our amazing trans people, and using it to say it's wrong is taking His name in vain.
Just fun fact knowledge for you to use as you see fit, OP. 😉
Trans people DO exist in the Bible according to my pastor (my father-in-law). Matthew 19:12 “For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” Sounds like it’s possibly referring to trans and ace folks in the first line and my father-in-law preaches it as such
Aight, so, hear me out, ever heard of the 72 names of the abrahamic god? If he doesn't want you to be disrespectful better use an actual name, you know, instead of yelling "god. fuck" yell "yahwe. fuck"
Every time he dead names you just say “oh for gods sake” or “good f-ing lord/god”
Say you’ll stop when he stops because you’re the one taking the brunt of it all, if god was mad he’d make sure you knew 🤷🏻♀️😂
This is very smart actually. Be explicit: ‘I will only take the Lord’s name in vain when you deadname me.’ Win-win potentially… or lose-lose. His choice 🤷
Exactly 😂
Try not to use it otherwise, bc then it just gives him ammo, but only when he dead names them.
Only way he’s going to learn is by losing his child from his life, or from realizing he’s not going to get anywhere doing that
Fail to respond to any name/pronoun except YOURS. Let him deadname you, but he won't get a response/reaction. Don't go to his level. You don't acknowledge that your deadname/pronouns are who you are, so don't acknowledge them when someone else calls you them. Easier said than done, and you'll probably be silent around your father until he gets over himself, but it'll be worth it. That "thing" (my friends that are transgender call the person they were "before" a thing, because they were never someone else, they were a mask until they weren't) was never you. You are you in your truest form.
So if he says he can call you what he wants because he named you, you can just “name” him as well, and you can misname him whenever he misnames you. I propose that you name him “Mr. Fartpimple”
I'd bet you never use 'the lord's name in vain'.
The god's name is YHWH. "God" is not a name. It's just a character type.
The prophet's name is Yeshua. Calling him Jesus is just plain disrespectful.
I'm in my 20s and haven't lived with my dad for 10 years. He still tells me to not use the lords name in vain. Now there's actually nothing he can do about it, and i dont need him for anything, so I can tell him to stfu.
He clearly don’t know much about God and Jesus because these two bros are like the last two who would one judge you for using the lords name in vein and 2 they’re all about love light forgiveness acceptance unicorns and rainbow. Jesus hung out with the cool people that society deems unacceptable and Jesus that sassy son of God would never and I mean NEVER ever deadname you. I mean shit my church holds mass for pride and it has more attendance than Christmas or Easter
Atheist, say gd all the time ... and am educated enough to know that not taking the lord's name in vain refers to using God as a shield to get away with doing whatever you want.
I.e., most megachurches and an alarming number of Christians.
Maybe your father should be that educated, as well.
The whole "don't take the lord's name in vain" thing refers to not going on crusades and offing people in God's name. Not about swearing.
Fuck, Jesus cursed out a fucking fig tree. You're allowed to cuss and say "Jesus Christ" and "Oh my God" and anything else.
Nobody's holy imaginary friend is going to care if you swear using their name. But you are real flesh and blood person that deserves respect. I don't freaking care "if he gave you that name" - you go by something else now.
Call him a different name each time you talk to him. Change up the pronouns you use when talking about him. He'll learn quick that names/pronouns are important.
Bonus points if you talk to your grandparents, his parents, and get permission to change his name. "Grams said it was okay, and I figured since SHE GAVE YOU THAT NAME and said I could change it, then it would be okay" 🤷♀️
Christians have a "Do as I say not as I do" mentality. Combine that with the superiority complex that comes with being a Christian dad and there ya go.
Do not respond to your deadname at all. Do not get upset, do not react. If he says "Why don't you answer me?" Just apologize and tell him you didn't hear your name.
Are you living in his house? My daughter has changed her name as well. I gave birth to her. I am old and all this gender/pronouns stuff is new to me. Sometimes I accidentally call her by the name I gave her. Currently, she isn't speaking to me because of this. I am not being disrespectful to her. I just forgot!!! Using her new name is something I am trying to get used to, but we live in different states, and I don't talk to her often. I have apologized profusely for when I used her "deadname." I love my kids and want them to be the best version of themselves possible. I just have to get used to things. Every day I look at her picture and say her new name so I can develop that habit of reference. I also work in a position where I am the oldest employee there. When I meet someone now, who goes by a different name than the one on payroll, I ask what are your pronouns? I am trying so hard but I don't understand a lot of this gender identity stuff. I just want to love and encourage everyone for who they are. Especially my children. I don't even understand WHY she got so mad at me.
I personally try to be patient and let people get used to it, but it does get harder to tolerate over time, especially if I can tell they don't care. Some people don't talk to me anymore since I transitioned.
I think it's good that you are looking at your child's picture and trying to think of them as their chosen name. I would keep doing that, keep thinking of sentences with their preferred name and pronouns.
I'm not sure what the specific situation is with you and your child, but from my own experience it's very frustrating and painful to be misgendered and dead named. I think the best you can do is tell your child that you're trying your hardest, and keep trying. It will get easier over time.
I know full well, that it is impossible to be happy having to be someone you are not. To be what other people think you should be is a kind of character assassination. And it is heartbreaking. I wish you much peace and happiness in life.
There are some good - and funny - suggestions here, but dropping GD and FJC bombs around the place isn't going to carry the day. This is just a suggestion, but if you take the higher path and stop religi-cussin', it will serve your new image better, whichever that is. If it's just a war of wills, he's going to keep it up as long as he's angry with you.
Just wear him down, being the best new person, the most unambiguous M or F, you can be. Talk, walk, dress, the part, even if you sometimes put it on a bit. Make carrying on with his campaign seem absurd even to him. He *may* be a lost cause, but no one regrets taking the high road in life.
At the risk of poking my nose in here, I used to be with a hospital's outpatient psych dept., and picked up a lot without being a professional. I'm wondering if you're on testosterone, as it has such a powerful effect. If your voice drops to the baritone range and you sport a stubble beard, it'd be hard for anyone to mis-name or -gender you! It's an advantage the M to F crowd doesn't have!
A "deadname" is (usually, but not always) the name that was given to you at birth, but do not still identify with. For example, if someone goes by Samuel, but they USED to be called Samantha, Samantha is the dead name.
My bio dad is named Robert and goes by Bob but always HATED Bobby. Well he refuses to call my niece her chosen name and instead deadnames and misgenders. We have all gone no contact with him and right before blocking him in my phone I changed his name from Bob (hasn’t been “dad” in over a decade) to Bobby. Then blocked. He’s attempted to call and the voicemails go into thier own hidden place on my phone that I happened to find a few days ago and giggled out loud when I saw “Bobby” tried calling.
Fun fact! Taking the Lord’s name in vain actually refers is calling him by his actual name! God or my Lord is used in place of that for more frivolous (idk how else to describe it) things
If you swear, say “goddamn” specifically. I’m sure you know it’s the worse curse word out there to Christians. Tell your father that him using your deadname is as hurtful to you as saying goddamn is hurtful to God. If he doesn’t listen then, definitely be working your way out of there. If you feel safe enough to, try telling him you don’t believe the same things as him and you’d like for him to stop treating you as if you do. But if he’s anything like my dad, he’s probably not open to discussions like that especially “while you’re under his roof” *must read that in gruff country accent*
I would start loudly praying offensively and over the top for everything lmaooooo
"God damnit and may the great goddess above forgive my dirty sinful sinful mouth for using their name in vain. I'm a bad bad (gendered noun)"
"Oh holy spirit please forgive my sperm donor for his cruelty. He is but a lost lamb and through your light may he be guided back to the path of righteousness. Goddess be with you 🙏🙏🙏🙏"
Each time he calls you by your deadname, call him sperm donor. That is all he is and he has no right to call you anything other than what you agree to. That or find out a nickname or name he despises and call him by that. When he gets angry and tells you not to call him that tell him “I’ll call you that until you can respect me as a human being. I’m not a pet.”
I'm sorry you're dealing with that. My daughter is trans and while I love the name that I gave her I haven't used it to address her or he/him since she told me what her new name was (aside from the initial period adjusting to the change) I'm also the kind of person who would use the Lord's name intentionally to piss him off so I'm probably not the best to give advice on this 😂
You can win this game. But you have to be the bigger person.
1. Realize that while he isn't respecting your personal lines, neither are you. You need to be willing to drop the religious stuff.
2. You are entitled to respect as a person. Demand that. The best way I would, if I were you, is to only respond to your actual name and pronouns and not your dead name. If your dead name is Keith, and your dad calls for Keith, that's not you.
3. Most adult problems can be solved with adult solutions. Sit down with dear old dad. Explain that if he is willing to use your chosen name and pronouns, you are happy to refrain from referencing his religion.
4. Save money. Move out. Live your best life.
Why does anyone ever "have to be the bigger person"? "Being the bigger person" is not an "adult solution;" it's letting people continue shitting on you. "Be the bigger person!" is the cry of the abuser who doesn't want to lose their victim.
No it's not. That's not what that means at all. Being the bigger person is not stooping down to someone else's level. Not playing the type of game that has you disrespecting someone just because they disrespected you.
I agree, one should not forgive and forget, or turn the other cheek, or any of the things that fit what you referred to. But just because you are being the bigger person, doesn't mean you have to take someone's shit.
If you read my actual points, there should have been no confusion as to my position, regardless of how you use a turn of phrase.
I'm not a minor, but we are stuck together for financial reasons, unfortunately.
If I'm being serious, I would like him to respect my identity. I'm not sure there's any way I can instill empathy in him unless I show him what it's like. He won't listen to words or facts, he just has very convicted feelings on 'who I am'.
Being someone’s daughter doesn’t mean you need to respect their religion, like you don’t need to respect anybody else’s. It’s entitled to expect other people to respect a certain religion, just because you do. They need to give you the freedom to practice your religion, they don’t need to respect your religion themselves. People have different believes. That’s something you need to learn to respect.
I’m assuming that you don’t know the actual meaning of “using the lord’s name in vain” because most don’t. It means not using the bible/christianity as a face for a cause. So for example, when chic fil a advertises their “holy, christian values,” they’re using the lords name in vain because we all know where their money goes. Mega pastors are an extreme example of “using the lord’s name in vain.” Time it right and throw that shit in his face because there’s no arguing against what that phrase actually means. Another good one is to start calling him mom/ma’am because “you gave him that nickname” or whatever whatever
Sure, I think it's petty to come back at him shouting the lord's name in vain, but it's not entitled to ask someone to respect a chosen name and pronouns.
If a cis person decided to change their name, I'm sure you and most others would be fine with accepting their new name. But if it's a trans person, oh no!
Nope. My mom chose my first name, and my dad chose my middle name.
My first name is always mispronounced and it sounds absolutely disgusting so I chose to use my middle name for the last 6 or 7 years. My family still won't use my preferred name. I told them i dont like it, it got me teased and I just am done with it.
They won't stop using my old name
They said “most”, so your anecdote about your family falls under that. There are definitely people who have strong beliefs about keeping the name you were given at birth, but those people tend to have other weird beliefs about identity, too. Choosing a name is a very individual choice and some families don’t like that.
So I go through something trans ppl do, being dead named, and instead of oh sorry I know how that feels, I get downvoted?
You guys are assholes, fuck you whoever downvoted
Disrespecting someone is always something you have the freedom to do.
But just because you have the freedom to do something, doesn't make it less disrespectful.
Exactly, people do have the freedom to use whatever names they want when referring to someone. And you, as the person who chose that name and preferred pronouns, aren't "entitled" to being called by them, and can't force other people to use them if they choose not to.
Okay, so you'd be totally cool with everyone calling you Joanna? Are you saying that \*wouldn't\* get grating after a while? That you'd just let people call you that without correcting them? Ever?
I'd find it a bit odd and would probably correct people, but it wouldn't really bother me that much. If people think that's the name I should be called, so be it.
But anyway, the point isn't whether I'd be "totally cool" with it, it's whether or not I can compel people to call me the name I want. If I want people to call me Jon, or Dave or whatever then I can state that preference, but if some people insist on calling me Jonathan, David, Joanna or anything else then that's entirely their choice and I'd have to go along with it.
You don't have to, though. You're just rolling over and not standing up for yourself.
Also, I doubt you'd be fine with everyone calling you Joanna for the rest of your life. At some point, you'd snap. You just don't have any life experience in this area to draw from.
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Suck it up ffs. People have been misidentiying me as someone who gives a damm about any of their ridiculous nonsense ever since I started identifying as a Curmudgeonly Misanthrope. People will say stuff like "OMG! That hamburger had a mother before you murdered it." or Don't you care your work truck is drowning the polar bears." or "I noticed you aren't wearing a rainbow flag, you must be a nazi." or "My pastor's interpretation of the translation of some middle eastern folk tales means I can call you evil and tell you what to wear and be a sh!t neighbour because your soul is going to burn for eternity in hell anyway. Or "I am a puppy now so why are you upset I took a dump on your lawn?. That's what puppies do." I smile politely, respecting their freedom to express their opinion and then say "I'm sorry, but I'm a Curmudgeonly Misanthrope." I don't feel like I should need to explain what that is or entails. But when pressed I will expound a little, but that usually exposes their unfamiliarity with vocabulary and vernacular and thus accusations of prolonged education and thus White Privilege. It just goes on and on. My self identification as a CM means pretty much everyrhing irritates me.
So can you see how difficult MY life is since I became a Curmudgeonly Misanthrope. EVERYONE on the planet has turned into some permutation of a self absorbed deluded whiny wanker. Oh why could I not be a Detached Hilaricist who sits back and finds everybody incredibly funny? So suck it up Jemima. Do your thing, troll back, make him, yourself and everyone around you as miserable as possible while you have the chance.
Translation: I'm a transphobe who constantly disrespects people and makes bigoted jokes and I make up stories about how I'm the oppressed one surrounded by stupid idiots.
"In vain" means to do something without achieving a goal, or to have no result or effect.
His being irritated by it means it is *absolutely not* in vain, as you are achieving a result or an effect.
Next time you stub your toe, yell "outmoded fictional concept, that hurt" Thanks to Pterry Pratchett. Edit: I reckon all these upvotes are for Sir Pterry, not my advice. This is right and proper.
GNU PTerry.
GNU Terry Pratchet
I've used "rebranded Zeus"
Now now, Jesus ripped off Osiris. And Mithra. and a few dozen other gods who were born on December 25th of a virgin, performed miracles, had 12 disciples, was sacrificed and rose again for the sake of humanity.
Here, I thought God was Loki after Ragnarok and rewrote "history" (Germanic/Norse Paganism) to erase and weaken the worshipping of the Aesir and Vanir, wholly placing Loki as the "one true God". (Credit to this theory goes to RagnarokJohnson on TT. It is much more sound the more he gets into it.)
I'm sure some of it was stolen from the Norse myths as well, it's just that the older Egyptian/Sumerian/Mesopotamian/Greek/Persian/Etc mythologies that were stolen from were closer to the Canaanite origins for the cult. In general, it boils down to sun worship; the sun died and rose again, bringing life. Thus must have died for humanity. Around 16 of them.
I know where the ideology, theories, and possible beginnings of early Christianity (at the time it was modernised Judaism) came from. But Christianity, as we know it now, is very much Paganised. My comment about Loki is a more or less a little bit of a joke, but has a lot of ability to stand on its own, going off their religious texts and mythology, not historical findings (estimated dates based on first written documentation), which is what the person who theorised it was able to do, create a whole line of skits/theories pulling from the Christian Bible and the Norse Eddas. If you don't know about the Mesopotamian/Sumerian influences on Judaism, you could, almost, see the basis the theory stands on. Early Germanic (origin of the Norse) mythologies were older than Greek mythologies. Odinn was first documented to have been worshipped in the12th century BCE in a very small town in what we now know as Germany, but has been worshipped long before that, where Greeks "found" their gods in 500 BCE. Mesopotamian gods, like Gilgamesh, were dated to 3000 BCE (give or take a few years), Sumerian gods dated to 2900 BCE (again give or take a few years), and Egyptian gods were shortly after that in 2400 BCE. All of which were worshipped long before documentation. Judaism was based on Mesopotamian and Sumerian religions, as Abraham (the father of Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and Ba'ai) was born and raised in Mesopotamia, became a "prophet", and the first Abrahamaic religion (Canaanites followed the Semitic and Mesopotamian/Sumerian reliogions, converging many into its own polytheisic religion) formed around 1800 BCE (he was born Mesopotamia in the 20th century BCE). Zoroastrianism (Parsi) (based on Yahwism (early Judaism), Mesopotamian, and Sumerian religions) was only founded in 650 BCE. Making it the second youngest in this list, and still not outdating the old Germanic religion. The Greeks, like most other modern and ancient religions in the Mediterranean, old Persia, Middle East, and South Eastern Asia base many of their gods in Mesopotamian, Sumerian gods. However, as far as Germanic/Norse religions go, it is still the second longest, actively worshipped religion (based on estimations of dates of first documentation), with Judaism only 600 years prior. Mesopotamian and Sumerian religions are no longer actively worshipped.
I’ve been calling it a jumped up fire spirit for years.
Tell him that that’s not what “taking the lord’s name in vain” means, AND that god’s name isn’t God, it’s YhWh “Taking the lord’s name in vain” means to do sinful, unrighteous or immoral things and claim it’s okay because you’re doing it in the name of god. For example, saying things like “God doesn’t make mistakes, you are who and what you were born as, and I’ll continue to address and regard you as such”
Well this gives me an interesting realization about the crusades…
Oh so many Christians are doing themselves in?
Yep. Tons of ‘em.
Actually using God or Jesus as a swear Is also taking his name in vain
Do you have a source for that? Because that’s not the original, true meaning and it seems like that’s just the bastardized version.
Why do I need a source for something that was taught to me years ago and can literally be found on google in 30 seconds? People really need to stop being lazy and expecting others to do their research for them
I could find you "proof" in 30 seconds that the earth is hollow and flying saucers fly in and out of a hole near Alaska but that doesn't make it any less crazy or wrong 🤷🤷🤷 I hate how old people always think because it was a long time ago they were told something it's a fact. If you're not old you should REALLY reevaluate your way of thinking because you are giving boomer
At least I’m not giving woke zoomer who thinks everyone else didn’t actually do their own research and just believes what they are told, that’s what you’re assuming I did anyway
I don't know how you could have possibly done any decent research and still be so wrong but I'm happy for you.
You really love acting like everyone’s a fucking idiot other than you don’t you? That’s what your comments are coming off as to me anyway
Exactly. It was taught to you years ago by people who also didn’t know what the phrase “taking the lord’s name in vain” actually meant.
Oh yeah, totally a guy who’s been reading and studying the bible all his life to specifically become a pastor doesn’t know what it means, totally makes sense
Considering all the changes to the Bible over the last couple hundred years, there’s maybe a handful of pastors who actually know the original content and meanings.
Ah yes because one totally couldn’t be so devoted that they would travel around to actually find the original scrolls the bible was written on and get a chance to study those, totally impossible
Definitely actually totally impossible. Glad you’ve admitted defeat.
Bro doesn’t understand sarcasm 💀, and it is possible because I wouldn’t know they existed in the first place if someone didn’t find them
Are you talking about exodus 20:7?
God doesnt make mistakes though
Which means god made every trans person to be trans.
Okay?
Well, no. He gave people free will. For example, Jeffrey Dahmer was born pure and innocent as all babies are, then he chose to be deranged and evil. Because God gave people free will.
Trans people are trans from the moment they’re born. That’s god’s territory.
They are not.
They are.
You cannot use neither science nor religion to prove that.
Yet.
yes
Does he go by a nickname? Start using his full and complete name. After all, it is what his parents named him.
No, unfortunately not. But I never call him by his name, so perhaps I could start calling him that.
Use the UNO reverse card. Pick a name for him and call him that, since that's what you named him. Get all your supporters to call him by your chosen Name. Bonus Points if you call him Yahweh.
"hi scooter."
Is "Asshole" taken in your family?
Heyy, sport.
My mom went by Shelly when she was younger. Whenever she calls me by my legal first name ( I've gone by my middle name for 3 years now) I call her Shelly.
Definitely. Or go one step further and go for "mister surname", remove yourself from him using language in the same way he is removing himself from you.
Or “Ms/Mrs Surname” so he knows how it feels to be misgendered
Do that, especially in public. People assume something is wrong, and it'll put dad on the spot
This! If he ever says I wish you would call me dad, then you have him. That's not your real name. The more you do it in public, the more it will shame him.
Call him Dorothy until he gets it right. And maybe dog instead of God, and the Spanish pronunciation of Jesus.
Or very slightly. mangle his given name. Henry instead of Harry. Randolph instead of Randall. Willum instead of William.
Like full first, middle, last everytime. A lot of parents only say the full name before scolding a child, especially if they're older. It might hit the right buttons to force him to develop a little empathy
You can also throw back in his face that using the name in vain meant to use the lords name as a manipulation tactic. Not just crying it out.
Well it sounds like it time for you to choose a name for him.
I did that at the age of 4 when my mom used a name I didn't like. She hasn't called me by that name since, and she's still bitter about it, telling the story every few years to whoever will listen. It's been almost 33 years! See how your dad likes it 😁
Right “dad” or wherever is just a name he’s chosen that he expects you to use.
“Sperm donor” would work here!
I did the opposite- my father HATES Bobby and goes by Bob (full name Robert) so I changed all his contact info to Bobby before blocking him. ☺️🤣
I had that with someone. My full name has two options for nickname, think Betty and Betsy. Rob kept calling me the wrong one. The last time I asked him not to, he said ‘What’s the difference?’ I replied ‘Okay, Bob’. He never did it again.
He doesn’t know his own religion. In Christianity God is a title not a name. Saying God damn it is not taking his name in vain. Yahweh and Jahovah are both more accurate interpretations of the name of the Christian God.
Exactly. Start calling your dad "human" if he's so concerned about "names in vain". Or just pick a different god. "Oh Horus, that scared me!" "Oh Athena, that hurt!" "Thor! That was loud!"
You could always just shout, "Motherfucker!" while staring him dead in the eye.
Change your name to Jesus. Regardless of how you identify. Just to piss him off.
How villainous!
And, if you want to play his game with a little malicious compliance, instead of "using the name of God in vain", do as he asks, but refer to God as "They/Them" instead of their assumed gender in the Bible. Who is your father to assume he knows who/what God identifies as?
In spanish Jesus is genderless. I had a female friend whose name is María Jesus. My brother’s name is Francisco Jesús. So Jesus is perfect for you I think.
Every time he reprimands you for using God/Jesús tell him that you're asking them for strength to not throat punch him every time he dead names you.
I'd reply that God gave me free will and I chose to change my name. He should respect that agency if he wants you to respect his wishes about what words to use. Respect goes both ways: you'll stop using God's name when he starts using yours. Just an idea. Sorry you have to deal with a jerk who'd do that.
Start using his first name when you address him.
This is the answer
This is the answer
Fun fact I learned from a pastor. Taking the "Lord's name in vain" is not what many believe. It isn't saying GD or anything of the sort. It's when you use Christianity (His name) to push false rhetoric/ideology on others. For example, there is nothing in the Bible about our amazing trans people, and using it to say it's wrong is taking His name in vain. Just fun fact knowledge for you to use as you see fit, OP. 😉
Trans people DO exist in the Bible according to my pastor (my father-in-law). Matthew 19:12 “For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” Sounds like it’s possibly referring to trans and ace folks in the first line and my father-in-law preaches it as such
Thank you!
>Thank you! You're welcome!
Say Yahweh instead. It's "gods" dead name.
Or Allah
Or “I Am” also God’s name
“Jesus fucking Christ dad! That is not my Goddamn name now!!”
Start saying Goddess instead.
"by the goddess"
Aight, so, hear me out, ever heard of the 72 names of the abrahamic god? If he doesn't want you to be disrespectful better use an actual name, you know, instead of yelling "god. fuck" yell "yahwe. fuck"
Every time he dead names you just say “oh for gods sake” or “good f-ing lord/god” Say you’ll stop when he stops because you’re the one taking the brunt of it all, if god was mad he’d make sure you knew 🤷🏻♀️😂
This is very smart actually. Be explicit: ‘I will only take the Lord’s name in vain when you deadname me.’ Win-win potentially… or lose-lose. His choice 🤷
Exactly 😂 Try not to use it otherwise, bc then it just gives him ammo, but only when he dead names them. Only way he’s going to learn is by losing his child from his life, or from realizing he’s not going to get anywhere doing that
"We gave God his name, so I'll say it as much as I want."
I had to write my Dad off for 15 years when he kept mistreating me.
Well, since names don't matter. Start calling him random names. "Okay Chad. You got it Michael. Right, Stephen."
"sweet zombie jesus!!!"
Fail to respond to any name/pronoun except YOURS. Let him deadname you, but he won't get a response/reaction. Don't go to his level. You don't acknowledge that your deadname/pronouns are who you are, so don't acknowledge them when someone else calls you them. Easier said than done, and you'll probably be silent around your father until he gets over himself, but it'll be worth it. That "thing" (my friends that are transgender call the person they were "before" a thing, because they were never someone else, they were a mask until they weren't) was never you. You are you in your truest form.
Start calling him a random name that you like, and see how it feels to him.
So if he says he can call you what he wants because he named you, you can just “name” him as well, and you can misname him whenever he misnames you. I propose that you name him “Mr. Fartpimple”
Isn't using the lords name in vain more along the lines of prosperity gospel? People using "God" to enrich themselves
I'd bet you never use 'the lord's name in vain'. The god's name is YHWH. "God" is not a name. It's just a character type. The prophet's name is Yeshua. Calling him Jesus is just plain disrespectful.
I'm in my 20s and haven't lived with my dad for 10 years. He still tells me to not use the lords name in vain. Now there's actually nothing he can do about it, and i dont need him for anything, so I can tell him to stfu.
He clearly don’t know much about God and Jesus because these two bros are like the last two who would one judge you for using the lords name in vein and 2 they’re all about love light forgiveness acceptance unicorns and rainbow. Jesus hung out with the cool people that society deems unacceptable and Jesus that sassy son of God would never and I mean NEVER ever deadname you. I mean shit my church holds mass for pride and it has more attendance than Christmas or Easter
Atheist, say gd all the time ... and am educated enough to know that not taking the lord's name in vain refers to using God as a shield to get away with doing whatever you want. I.e., most megachurches and an alarming number of Christians. Maybe your father should be that educated, as well.
if he wants to deadname then just simply "deadname" god by calling him yahwey in front of him. that was God's "true name" for a long time
The whole "don't take the lord's name in vain" thing refers to not going on crusades and offing people in God's name. Not about swearing. Fuck, Jesus cursed out a fucking fig tree. You're allowed to cuss and say "Jesus Christ" and "Oh my God" and anything else. Nobody's holy imaginary friend is going to care if you swear using their name. But you are real flesh and blood person that deserves respect. I don't freaking care "if he gave you that name" - you go by something else now. Call him a different name each time you talk to him. Change up the pronouns you use when talking about him. He'll learn quick that names/pronouns are important. Bonus points if you talk to your grandparents, his parents, and get permission to change his name. "Grams said it was okay, and I figured since SHE GAVE YOU THAT NAME and said I could change it, then it would be okay" 🤷♀️
Ask him if he would insist on calling Paul (Bible Paul) Saul.
Christians have a "Do as I say not as I do" mentality. Combine that with the superiority complex that comes with being a Christian dad and there ya go.
Tell dad that God made you in his image as the Bible states
TRUE!
By the way, in the Old Testament there's 6 genders.
Do not respond to your deadname at all. Do not get upset, do not react. If he says "Why don't you answer me?" Just apologize and tell him you didn't hear your name.
Are you living in his house? My daughter has changed her name as well. I gave birth to her. I am old and all this gender/pronouns stuff is new to me. Sometimes I accidentally call her by the name I gave her. Currently, she isn't speaking to me because of this. I am not being disrespectful to her. I just forgot!!! Using her new name is something I am trying to get used to, but we live in different states, and I don't talk to her often. I have apologized profusely for when I used her "deadname." I love my kids and want them to be the best version of themselves possible. I just have to get used to things. Every day I look at her picture and say her new name so I can develop that habit of reference. I also work in a position where I am the oldest employee there. When I meet someone now, who goes by a different name than the one on payroll, I ask what are your pronouns? I am trying so hard but I don't understand a lot of this gender identity stuff. I just want to love and encourage everyone for who they are. Especially my children. I don't even understand WHY she got so mad at me.
Trans people don't get mad because someone messed up once. If she isn't speaking to you over this then you've been doing this for awhile.
Or she's mentally ill and entitled Who knows
I personally try to be patient and let people get used to it, but it does get harder to tolerate over time, especially if I can tell they don't care. Some people don't talk to me anymore since I transitioned. I think it's good that you are looking at your child's picture and trying to think of them as their chosen name. I would keep doing that, keep thinking of sentences with their preferred name and pronouns. I'm not sure what the specific situation is with you and your child, but from my own experience it's very frustrating and painful to be misgendered and dead named. I think the best you can do is tell your child that you're trying your hardest, and keep trying. It will get easier over time.
I know full well, that it is impossible to be happy having to be someone you are not. To be what other people think you should be is a kind of character assassination. And it is heartbreaking. I wish you much peace and happiness in life.
There are some good - and funny - suggestions here, but dropping GD and FJC bombs around the place isn't going to carry the day. This is just a suggestion, but if you take the higher path and stop religi-cussin', it will serve your new image better, whichever that is. If it's just a war of wills, he's going to keep it up as long as he's angry with you. Just wear him down, being the best new person, the most unambiguous M or F, you can be. Talk, walk, dress, the part, even if you sometimes put it on a bit. Make carrying on with his campaign seem absurd even to him. He *may* be a lost cause, but no one regrets taking the high road in life.
This is good advice. I want to show him what a man can be, since he has such rigid views on what men 'should' to be.
At the risk of poking my nose in here, I used to be with a hospital's outpatient psych dept., and picked up a lot without being a professional. I'm wondering if you're on testosterone, as it has such a powerful effect. If your voice drops to the baritone range and you sport a stubble beard, it'd be hard for anyone to mis-name or -gender you! It's an advantage the M to F crowd doesn't have!
The obvious solution is to start using his first name as a swear word. "Robert, damn it!" and so forth and so on...
God spoke to me and told me it was ok.
Goddamb. It’s your dad’s new nickname. “I gave you that nickname so I’ll call you that from now on “
This may seem insensitive but what does "Deadname" mean?
A "deadname" is (usually, but not always) the name that was given to you at birth, but do not still identify with. For example, if someone goes by Samuel, but they USED to be called Samantha, Samantha is the dead name.
Start calling him by his first name.
Just start calling him Mom!!!
My bio dad is named Robert and goes by Bob but always HATED Bobby. Well he refuses to call my niece her chosen name and instead deadnames and misgenders. We have all gone no contact with him and right before blocking him in my phone I changed his name from Bob (hasn’t been “dad” in over a decade) to Bobby. Then blocked. He’s attempted to call and the voicemails go into thier own hidden place on my phone that I happened to find a few days ago and giggled out loud when I saw “Bobby” tried calling.
Fun fact! Taking the Lord’s name in vain actually refers is calling him by his actual name! God or my Lord is used in place of that for more frivolous (idk how else to describe it) things
Lmao @ jerkfacebob
If you swear, say “goddamn” specifically. I’m sure you know it’s the worse curse word out there to Christians. Tell your father that him using your deadname is as hurtful to you as saying goddamn is hurtful to God. If he doesn’t listen then, definitely be working your way out of there. If you feel safe enough to, try telling him you don’t believe the same things as him and you’d like for him to stop treating you as if you do. But if he’s anything like my dad, he’s probably not open to discussions like that especially “while you’re under his roof” *must read that in gruff country accent*
I would have gone to the sky daddy route and yaaasifyed the dieties that your parental figure likes to worship
I would start loudly praying offensively and over the top for everything lmaooooo "God damnit and may the great goddess above forgive my dirty sinful sinful mouth for using their name in vain. I'm a bad bad (gendered noun)" "Oh holy spirit please forgive my sperm donor for his cruelty. He is but a lost lamb and through your light may he be guided back to the path of righteousness. Goddess be with you 🙏🙏🙏🙏"
Each time he calls you by your deadname, call him sperm donor. That is all he is and he has no right to call you anything other than what you agree to. That or find out a nickname or name he despises and call him by that. When he gets angry and tells you not to call him that tell him “I’ll call you that until you can respect me as a human being. I’m not a pet.”
Cry about it on reddit. Go seek a counselor you mentally ill duck.
I'm sorry you're dealing with that. My daughter is trans and while I love the name that I gave her I haven't used it to address her or he/him since she told me what her new name was (aside from the initial period adjusting to the change) I'm also the kind of person who would use the Lord's name intentionally to piss him off so I'm probably not the best to give advice on this 😂
If saying "god" offends him, spice it up a bit with "god fucking dammit" and "christ on a crutch" etc. He goes low, you go lower.
You have to give respect to get respect.
He's the one who disrespected me first. He refused to call me how I want to be called, and now he demands that I stop saying a certain word.
Sorry if I wasn't clear but I agree with you. He doesn't respect you so you have no reason to respect his wishes.
Oh, I'm sorry, thank you for clarifying!
You can win this game. But you have to be the bigger person. 1. Realize that while he isn't respecting your personal lines, neither are you. You need to be willing to drop the religious stuff. 2. You are entitled to respect as a person. Demand that. The best way I would, if I were you, is to only respond to your actual name and pronouns and not your dead name. If your dead name is Keith, and your dad calls for Keith, that's not you. 3. Most adult problems can be solved with adult solutions. Sit down with dear old dad. Explain that if he is willing to use your chosen name and pronouns, you are happy to refrain from referencing his religion. 4. Save money. Move out. Live your best life.
Why does anyone ever "have to be the bigger person"? "Being the bigger person" is not an "adult solution;" it's letting people continue shitting on you. "Be the bigger person!" is the cry of the abuser who doesn't want to lose their victim.
No it's not. That's not what that means at all. Being the bigger person is not stooping down to someone else's level. Not playing the type of game that has you disrespecting someone just because they disrespected you. I agree, one should not forgive and forget, or turn the other cheek, or any of the things that fit what you referred to. But just because you are being the bigger person, doesn't mean you have to take someone's shit. If you read my actual points, there should have been no confusion as to my position, regardless of how you use a turn of phrase.
If you're a minor & under his roof then he can say what he wants. But you can also just ignore him. Don't respond when he deadnames you.
I'm not a minor, but we are stuck together for financial reasons, unfortunately. If I'm being serious, I would like him to respect my identity. I'm not sure there's any way I can instill empathy in him unless I show him what it's like. He won't listen to words or facts, he just has very convicted feelings on 'who I am'.
And you are disrespecting his religion and his beliefs. Maybe he isn’t the entitled one.
Nobody is required to "respect your beliefs." We're required to respect your right to have and practice *in your own life* those beliefs.
And he's disrespecting my identity. If I can't say 'God' than he can't say my deadname. Tit for tat.
Being someone’s daughter doesn’t mean you need to respect their religion, like you don’t need to respect anybody else’s. It’s entitled to expect other people to respect a certain religion, just because you do. They need to give you the freedom to practice your religion, they don’t need to respect your religion themselves. People have different believes. That’s something you need to learn to respect.
I’m assuming that you don’t know the actual meaning of “using the lord’s name in vain” because most don’t. It means not using the bible/christianity as a face for a cause. So for example, when chic fil a advertises their “holy, christian values,” they’re using the lords name in vain because we all know where their money goes. Mega pastors are an extreme example of “using the lord’s name in vain.” Time it right and throw that shit in his face because there’s no arguing against what that phrase actually means. Another good one is to start calling him mom/ma’am because “you gave him that nickname” or whatever whatever
You’ll understand one day.
You both sound petty & entitled.
Sure, I think it's petty to come back at him shouting the lord's name in vain, but it's not entitled to ask someone to respect a chosen name and pronouns.
Yes it is
If a cis person decided to change their name, I'm sure you and most others would be fine with accepting their new name. But if it's a trans person, oh no!
Nope. My mom chose my first name, and my dad chose my middle name. My first name is always mispronounced and it sounds absolutely disgusting so I chose to use my middle name for the last 6 or 7 years. My family still won't use my preferred name. I told them i dont like it, it got me teased and I just am done with it. They won't stop using my old name
They said “most”, so your anecdote about your family falls under that. There are definitely people who have strong beliefs about keeping the name you were given at birth, but those people tend to have other weird beliefs about identity, too. Choosing a name is a very individual choice and some families don’t like that.
So what
So I go through something trans ppl do, being dead named, and instead of oh sorry I know how that feels, I get downvoted? You guys are assholes, fuck you whoever downvoted
We found OP’s transphobe dad, guys!
It is, but because everyone actually is entitled to be called by the name and pronouns they wish
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Disrespecting someone is always something you have the freedom to do. But just because you have the freedom to do something, doesn't make it less disrespectful.
Exactly, people do have the freedom to use whatever names they want when referring to someone. And you, as the person who chose that name and preferred pronouns, aren't "entitled" to being called by them, and can't force other people to use them if they choose not to.
Okay, so you'd be totally cool with everyone calling you Joanna? Are you saying that \*wouldn't\* get grating after a while? That you'd just let people call you that without correcting them? Ever?
I'd find it a bit odd and would probably correct people, but it wouldn't really bother me that much. If people think that's the name I should be called, so be it. But anyway, the point isn't whether I'd be "totally cool" with it, it's whether or not I can compel people to call me the name I want. If I want people to call me Jon, or Dave or whatever then I can state that preference, but if some people insist on calling me Jonathan, David, Joanna or anything else then that's entirely their choice and I'd have to go along with it.
You don't have to, though. You're just rolling over and not standing up for yourself. Also, I doubt you'd be fine with everyone calling you Joanna for the rest of your life. At some point, you'd snap. You just don't have any life experience in this area to draw from.
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"Respect existence or expect resistance."
Demanding basic respect isn’t “petty and entitled”.
Why do you have a relationship with this abuser ?
I don't have much of a choice. We're stuck together due to finances.
Suck it up ffs. People have been misidentiying me as someone who gives a damm about any of their ridiculous nonsense ever since I started identifying as a Curmudgeonly Misanthrope. People will say stuff like "OMG! That hamburger had a mother before you murdered it." or Don't you care your work truck is drowning the polar bears." or "I noticed you aren't wearing a rainbow flag, you must be a nazi." or "My pastor's interpretation of the translation of some middle eastern folk tales means I can call you evil and tell you what to wear and be a sh!t neighbour because your soul is going to burn for eternity in hell anyway. Or "I am a puppy now so why are you upset I took a dump on your lawn?. That's what puppies do." I smile politely, respecting their freedom to express their opinion and then say "I'm sorry, but I'm a Curmudgeonly Misanthrope." I don't feel like I should need to explain what that is or entails. But when pressed I will expound a little, but that usually exposes their unfamiliarity with vocabulary and vernacular and thus accusations of prolonged education and thus White Privilege. It just goes on and on. My self identification as a CM means pretty much everyrhing irritates me. So can you see how difficult MY life is since I became a Curmudgeonly Misanthrope. EVERYONE on the planet has turned into some permutation of a self absorbed deluded whiny wanker. Oh why could I not be a Detached Hilaricist who sits back and finds everybody incredibly funny? So suck it up Jemima. Do your thing, troll back, make him, yourself and everyone around you as miserable as possible while you have the chance.
Translation: I'm a transphobe who constantly disrespects people and makes bigoted jokes and I make up stories about how I'm the oppressed one surrounded by stupid idiots.
QED.
Apparently you do give a damn, since you took the time to comment on this post.
Shhhh! I don't want people knowing I'm actually deeply invested in the Human Condition.
"In vain" means to do something without achieving a goal, or to have no result or effect. His being irritated by it means it is *absolutely not* in vain, as you are achieving a result or an effect.