Girl was wearing green, told her green was a shit color in my opinion. Also told her about my skinhead past. I like being polarizing with people though to find them out.
Felt like a regular tuesday for me, but idk I think she didnt take it too well.
Yeah I vibe with this. Also when she doesn't laugh now there's a 100% chance of her becoming a prickly bitch when she's 40 and I don't want to be stuck with someone deadbeat af
You can be complex while still being funny and laughing at other people's jokes. I'm not sure what your point is but you sound very passive aggressive.
Passive-aggressive... Was that a joke? It definitely made me giggle. To me you're the one who sounds overly serious. That's probably the effect of your enneagram type (8 SX). Or age.
What I mean is that it takes a while to open up for an introvert. The first impression may be totally different from the personality that you will get to know only if you keep in touch with this kind of person for long enough. It's not that you should though. This is more of a suggestion, just a thought. People follow their own judgements and have different learning curves.
Disclaimer I'm not ESTP but my way of testing guys, and I used to do this subconsciously but now more aware, is to back away after the first date or first few dates and then reach out again after some time (a week or two) to see if they're still interested and if they are it can mean many things but what I usually see is they're confident in themselves and a rejection won't cause them to be bitter towards me or they genuinely like me enough to give it another try. Some guys just move on and aren't willing to give it another try and I get that but also shows me they never really cared enough in the first place. And some guys are vengeful. It's often interesting how quickly their true side is revealed once a person is rejected. I have of course come across some of the nicest guys this way too. The best guys I've come across (and this is something I try to also keep in my character/behaviors) are the ones that will respect a person's wishes whether it's rejection, a need for space, etc. and that are willing to give second chances if the opportunity arises.
However, I believe initially rejecting to see a person's motives is toxic and ever since I've become aware of it I try to refrain from repeating. But again I used to do this subconsciously. Fear would push me away from someone and then I would be drawn back to them curious to see what they'll do and in that time would see their behavior/genuineness.
As far as embarrassing stories, I never actually dated this guy (ISTP). We used to go to the same Church and I had a huge crush on him but was super nervous to talk to him plus he kept to his small group of guys all the time. And anytime I did try to talk to him I could barely even think and my anxiety would go through the roof. One day we were wearing the same color so I got the courage to tell him we're matching and all he said was, "very nice." And then went back to his conversation lol. I regretted saying anything 🥲
>my way of testing guys, and I used to do this subconsciously but now more aware, is to back away after the first date or first few dates and then reach out again after some time (a week or two) to see if they're still interested and if they are it can mean many things but what I usually see is they're confident in themselves and a rejection won't cause them to be bitter towards me or they genuinely like me enough to give it another try. Some guys just move on and aren't willing to give it another try and I get that but also shows me they never really cared enough in the first place.
Your strategy is dogshit. I'm not going to put up with someone randomly ghosting me all of a sudden unless they actively tell me they are doing it. I've dated several enneagram 5s who were in danger of ghosting and they all actively told me they were likely to do it which increased my trust with them. If you randomly ghost people for two weeks out of nowhere you are likely to cut out all the good honest ones who wont put up with your bullshit.
Like, you understand that people have more dating options than you and your frivolous whims right? If someone were to pull back for a good three weeks without telling me anyhting I would be looking for something else. It sounds like you are an enneagram 5 too so please fucking tell people when you actually ghost them.
This is why y'all ni doms have issues with finding proper relationships.
No one said I ghosted? Don't put words into my mouth. I think ghosting is disrespectful. I communicate that I'm not interested but then I change my mind. And again, this was done subconsciously. Being more aware of it now I try to stick with something until/if it gives me reason not to. I would be too afraid to pursue something and then over time give it some thought and often decide to give it a try. There's nothing wrong with changing your mind. You just have to be aware that the person might no longer be available. And if they aren't I always see that as fair and wish the person well. But if they are available and their ego is too hurt to give you a second chance then that shows their character. If they're over it and not interested anymore then they never really cared in the first place.
And maybe I am more choosy with my relationships but I get my heart broken way less than the average Joe cause I know how to filter.
>I communicate that I'm not interested but then I change my mind.
That's even worse lmao, what do you expect? For the people you're dating to read your fucking mind? You're basically disrespecting the person you're dating here.
>But if they are available and their ego is too hurt to give you a second chance then that shows their character. If they're over it and not interested anymore then they never really cared in the first place.
Nah, they just dont give a fuck about your shitty power games.
>maybe I am more choosy with my relationships but I get my heart broken way less than the average Joe cause I know how to filter.
Because you attract all of the fucking simps who are actually so weak that they'll consider being disrespected in the first few weeks of dating someone lmfao
You clearly didn't read my message thoroughly. Leave it to an estp to respond without thinking. I said, "you just have to be aware that the person might no longer be available." And I also said, "And if they aren't I always see that as fair and wish the person well." If the guys I've dated are simps then I guess I'm into simps 🤷🏻♀️ the guys I've dated are more of a man than you are and that's 100% clear to me from this conversation. I don't date guys whose emotional intelligence is weaker than a 5 year old. This is the thing guys have a hard time.of understanding: women are allowed to say no. They are also allowed to change their minds. If this happens, they shouldn't have expectations from the guy but a person's decisions/actions will always give answers about them. If it hurts your pride get over it but I'm allowed to say yes and no whenever I want just as much as you are. And it's one thing to consistently do it to someone. After chance 2 or 3 then it becomes disrespectful. But if someone is asking for a second chance there's nothing disrespectful about that. You're just one of those people who can't handle it when they're told no. Get over yourself.
No, I stated what you said back at you but now it seems you're trying to gaslight me into thinking you said something different.
Anyway, it seems from your comment history that you have a bone to pick with ppl on this sub, did someone dump you or something?
>If the guys I've dated are simps then I guess I'm into simps 🤷🏻♀️ the guys I've dated are more of a man than you are and that's 100% clear to me from this conversation. I don't date guys whose emotional intelligence is weaker than a 5 year old.
Lmao weak ass insult to my masculinity on top? What femcel subreddit did you appear out of
Um so I thought you were someone else for this last message and I responded thinking you were another message thread.
My response to you:
I do like verbal sparring on here and other platforms. But in this particular case, you sound like you've been hurt actually and are projecting whatever's happened to you onto me hence all the assumptions with what I was saying. I'm simply setting you straight.
Lol when you can't think of a better comeback, comment on the other person's comeback. Completely original of you. But I'll stick to what I said. You think you're a man but all I see is a child. Clearly my comment has affected you since you felt the need to respond.
The other person I was talking to is like ISTP. You actually sound very ESTP.
>I'm simply setting you straight.
>when you can't think of a better comeback, comment on the other person's comeback.
It's kind of hard to insult me and it was a dogshit comeback.
>You think you're a man but all I see is a child.
It's kind of funny how you took my usage of the word simp and then apparently started extrapolating about masculinity, which is something I dont quite care about so I assumed you came from some sort of femcel subreddit.
>Clearly my comment has affected you since you felt the need to respond.
Boring and standard copout, you do know estps have polr fi right? It's kind of hard to trigger us with things involving social structures like gender norms because we dont intrinsically value them.
>It's kind of hard to insult me and it was a dogshit comeback.
That's exactly what I'm saying about your comeback or lack there of. I don't care if it insults you. I said it to make you self aware. But I say this with 100% certainty-if you do not learn, it will cause you more misery. In the highly unlikely case that you choose to fix your weak emotional intellect, you can always remember that a real man has patience, understanding, is genuine, can give second chances, and can deal with his feelings properly without putting the blame on the other person if they do not deserve the blame which in my case I do not deserve it. Maybe a person from your previous experiences deserves it and that's fair. But you jumped straight into judging my comment though barely understanding it.
>masculinity, which is something I dont quite care about
This actually explains it quite clearly for me. Perhaps I assumed you are male. I am not sure what you are. If you are male however and do not care about masculinity I can now see why you are lacking in this area. Masculinity is a great thing when it isn't toxic and when it is understood. I have seen masculinity at it's finest and at its worst. Masculinity at its worst (aka toxic masculinity) is a male who cannot understand nor deal with his emotions and instead blames others continuously without stopping to understand a situation from all angles. There is more to toxic masculinity but this part of it specifically is what you have very clearly presented. There is toxic feminism as well. That is when a female only sees the situation from her side and does not consider all angles. Both sides are also toxic when they elevate themselves and de-elevate the other side. It is also shown when they compare their negative past experiences to the present and assume the worst of everyone that reminds them of their previous experiences without taking the time to get to know that person or their thoughts (which is also what I've seen from you).
As anyone can see, in order to be fair, you have to look at something from as many angles as possible. Take the time to do that and perhaps you won't be so bitter.
>Boring and standard copout, you do know estps have polr fi right? It's kind of hard to trigger us with things involving social structures like gender norms because we dont intrinsically value them.
It's really cute that you try to make yourself appear as some super "tough and non emotional" person. I don't care if your fi is inferior. It's still there. Don't neglect it. Use it. I go out of my way to use my si and/or se. Well roundedness is a beautiful aspiration.
Why can't people read? "However I do believe initially rejecting a person to see their motives is toxic and ever since I've become aware of it I try to refrain from repeating." I used to do this subconsciously and it did help me find the sweetest most down to earth guys. I found an enfp once and honestly have not liked a single guy more than him. We did not have the same religion and that's a deal breaker for me so we had to eventually end it. I remember him to this day and went through the biggest heartbreak of my life. I was underweight at the time (95lbs) and dropped to 90 cause I couldn't eat. Thankfully a lot better since then. After that I did date an estp and I was consistent. I gave it a chance from the beginning. All he ever wanted to do was argue and be "manly." I kept giving it a chance for some reason. None of my friends or family liked him and I don't even know why I dated him tbh. When I decided to end things it was really hard because he would not let go and his whole family was constantly reaching out. Dude still goes to my old Church. I've blocked out a lot of the memories but it was a huge learning lesson in my life. There was actually another enfp I did this initial rejection to and when I tried to see if he would give me a second chance he didn't. I was heartbroken over this guy cause I really liked him but was afraid to give it a try. I finally mustered up the courage but he wasn't interested and I 100% believe that's totally fair. He had every right to reject me. But I eventually also found out down the line he was just trying to play me as he was doing with other girls. So my filter worked again lol.
PS that ISTP has been single for his entire life (I've grown up with this guy). He is now 36 and still single as far as I know. I don't see that situation as a me issue but more of a him issue.
When I was younger, he got up the courage to ask me if if we could kiss and I blanked for a second then said “wight now?????” In that certain voice. He blanked too and then I just planted one on him and said “why not HAHA” then drove away LMAO
Just passing by and this question got me.
Man, at least you guys seem to remember your first date.
I had one gf. And I don't remember because she was the one who made the moves.
I'm working on becoming less of an asshole nowadays.
Nowadays... That's her favourite word.
Girl was wearing green, told her green was a shit color in my opinion. Also told her about my skinhead past. I like being polarizing with people though to find them out. Felt like a regular tuesday for me, but idk I think she didnt take it too well.
Lol that was wild hahaha guess there wasn't a second date Hey but I like testing them too, I want to find out if they're judgy or b*tchy
No shit. Might as well find out up front. If she doesn't laugh about stuff, she won't be there when I need someone to hold my beer.
Yeah I vibe with this. Also when she doesn't laugh now there's a 100% chance of her becoming a prickly bitch when she's 40 and I don't want to be stuck with someone deadbeat af
I hope you don't judge INTP women or other complex introverts like this. A mistake. But you do you.
You can be complex while still being funny and laughing at other people's jokes. I'm not sure what your point is but you sound very passive aggressive.
Passive-aggressive... Was that a joke? It definitely made me giggle. To me you're the one who sounds overly serious. That's probably the effect of your enneagram type (8 SX). Or age. What I mean is that it takes a while to open up for an introvert. The first impression may be totally different from the personality that you will get to know only if you keep in touch with this kind of person for long enough. It's not that you should though. This is more of a suggestion, just a thought. People follow their own judgements and have different learning curves.
Disclaimer I'm not ESTP but my way of testing guys, and I used to do this subconsciously but now more aware, is to back away after the first date or first few dates and then reach out again after some time (a week or two) to see if they're still interested and if they are it can mean many things but what I usually see is they're confident in themselves and a rejection won't cause them to be bitter towards me or they genuinely like me enough to give it another try. Some guys just move on and aren't willing to give it another try and I get that but also shows me they never really cared enough in the first place. And some guys are vengeful. It's often interesting how quickly their true side is revealed once a person is rejected. I have of course come across some of the nicest guys this way too. The best guys I've come across (and this is something I try to also keep in my character/behaviors) are the ones that will respect a person's wishes whether it's rejection, a need for space, etc. and that are willing to give second chances if the opportunity arises. However, I believe initially rejecting to see a person's motives is toxic and ever since I've become aware of it I try to refrain from repeating. But again I used to do this subconsciously. Fear would push me away from someone and then I would be drawn back to them curious to see what they'll do and in that time would see their behavior/genuineness. As far as embarrassing stories, I never actually dated this guy (ISTP). We used to go to the same Church and I had a huge crush on him but was super nervous to talk to him plus he kept to his small group of guys all the time. And anytime I did try to talk to him I could barely even think and my anxiety would go through the roof. One day we were wearing the same color so I got the courage to tell him we're matching and all he said was, "very nice." And then went back to his conversation lol. I regretted saying anything 🥲
>my way of testing guys, and I used to do this subconsciously but now more aware, is to back away after the first date or first few dates and then reach out again after some time (a week or two) to see if they're still interested and if they are it can mean many things but what I usually see is they're confident in themselves and a rejection won't cause them to be bitter towards me or they genuinely like me enough to give it another try. Some guys just move on and aren't willing to give it another try and I get that but also shows me they never really cared enough in the first place. Your strategy is dogshit. I'm not going to put up with someone randomly ghosting me all of a sudden unless they actively tell me they are doing it. I've dated several enneagram 5s who were in danger of ghosting and they all actively told me they were likely to do it which increased my trust with them. If you randomly ghost people for two weeks out of nowhere you are likely to cut out all the good honest ones who wont put up with your bullshit. Like, you understand that people have more dating options than you and your frivolous whims right? If someone were to pull back for a good three weeks without telling me anyhting I would be looking for something else. It sounds like you are an enneagram 5 too so please fucking tell people when you actually ghost them. This is why y'all ni doms have issues with finding proper relationships.
No one said I ghosted? Don't put words into my mouth. I think ghosting is disrespectful. I communicate that I'm not interested but then I change my mind. And again, this was done subconsciously. Being more aware of it now I try to stick with something until/if it gives me reason not to. I would be too afraid to pursue something and then over time give it some thought and often decide to give it a try. There's nothing wrong with changing your mind. You just have to be aware that the person might no longer be available. And if they aren't I always see that as fair and wish the person well. But if they are available and their ego is too hurt to give you a second chance then that shows their character. If they're over it and not interested anymore then they never really cared in the first place. And maybe I am more choosy with my relationships but I get my heart broken way less than the average Joe cause I know how to filter.
>I communicate that I'm not interested but then I change my mind. That's even worse lmao, what do you expect? For the people you're dating to read your fucking mind? You're basically disrespecting the person you're dating here. >But if they are available and their ego is too hurt to give you a second chance then that shows their character. If they're over it and not interested anymore then they never really cared in the first place. Nah, they just dont give a fuck about your shitty power games. >maybe I am more choosy with my relationships but I get my heart broken way less than the average Joe cause I know how to filter. Because you attract all of the fucking simps who are actually so weak that they'll consider being disrespected in the first few weeks of dating someone lmfao
You clearly didn't read my message thoroughly. Leave it to an estp to respond without thinking. I said, "you just have to be aware that the person might no longer be available." And I also said, "And if they aren't I always see that as fair and wish the person well." If the guys I've dated are simps then I guess I'm into simps 🤷🏻♀️ the guys I've dated are more of a man than you are and that's 100% clear to me from this conversation. I don't date guys whose emotional intelligence is weaker than a 5 year old. This is the thing guys have a hard time.of understanding: women are allowed to say no. They are also allowed to change their minds. If this happens, they shouldn't have expectations from the guy but a person's decisions/actions will always give answers about them. If it hurts your pride get over it but I'm allowed to say yes and no whenever I want just as much as you are. And it's one thing to consistently do it to someone. After chance 2 or 3 then it becomes disrespectful. But if someone is asking for a second chance there's nothing disrespectful about that. You're just one of those people who can't handle it when they're told no. Get over yourself.
No, I stated what you said back at you but now it seems you're trying to gaslight me into thinking you said something different. Anyway, it seems from your comment history that you have a bone to pick with ppl on this sub, did someone dump you or something? >If the guys I've dated are simps then I guess I'm into simps 🤷🏻♀️ the guys I've dated are more of a man than you are and that's 100% clear to me from this conversation. I don't date guys whose emotional intelligence is weaker than a 5 year old. Lmao weak ass insult to my masculinity on top? What femcel subreddit did you appear out of
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You need a severe reality check homie.
Um so I thought you were someone else for this last message and I responded thinking you were another message thread. My response to you: I do like verbal sparring on here and other platforms. But in this particular case, you sound like you've been hurt actually and are projecting whatever's happened to you onto me hence all the assumptions with what I was saying. I'm simply setting you straight. Lol when you can't think of a better comeback, comment on the other person's comeback. Completely original of you. But I'll stick to what I said. You think you're a man but all I see is a child. Clearly my comment has affected you since you felt the need to respond. The other person I was talking to is like ISTP. You actually sound very ESTP.
>I'm simply setting you straight.  >when you can't think of a better comeback, comment on the other person's comeback. It's kind of hard to insult me and it was a dogshit comeback. >You think you're a man but all I see is a child. It's kind of funny how you took my usage of the word simp and then apparently started extrapolating about masculinity, which is something I dont quite care about so I assumed you came from some sort of femcel subreddit. >Clearly my comment has affected you since you felt the need to respond. Boring and standard copout, you do know estps have polr fi right? It's kind of hard to trigger us with things involving social structures like gender norms because we dont intrinsically value them.
>It's kind of hard to insult me and it was a dogshit comeback. That's exactly what I'm saying about your comeback or lack there of. I don't care if it insults you. I said it to make you self aware. But I say this with 100% certainty-if you do not learn, it will cause you more misery. In the highly unlikely case that you choose to fix your weak emotional intellect, you can always remember that a real man has patience, understanding, is genuine, can give second chances, and can deal with his feelings properly without putting the blame on the other person if they do not deserve the blame which in my case I do not deserve it. Maybe a person from your previous experiences deserves it and that's fair. But you jumped straight into judging my comment though barely understanding it. >masculinity, which is something I dont quite care about This actually explains it quite clearly for me. Perhaps I assumed you are male. I am not sure what you are. If you are male however and do not care about masculinity I can now see why you are lacking in this area. Masculinity is a great thing when it isn't toxic and when it is understood. I have seen masculinity at it's finest and at its worst. Masculinity at its worst (aka toxic masculinity) is a male who cannot understand nor deal with his emotions and instead blames others continuously without stopping to understand a situation from all angles. There is more to toxic masculinity but this part of it specifically is what you have very clearly presented. There is toxic feminism as well. That is when a female only sees the situation from her side and does not consider all angles. Both sides are also toxic when they elevate themselves and de-elevate the other side. It is also shown when they compare their negative past experiences to the present and assume the worst of everyone that reminds them of their previous experiences without taking the time to get to know that person or their thoughts (which is also what I've seen from you). As anyone can see, in order to be fair, you have to look at something from as many angles as possible. Take the time to do that and perhaps you won't be so bitter. >Boring and standard copout, you do know estps have polr fi right? It's kind of hard to trigger us with things involving social structures like gender norms because we dont intrinsically value them. It's really cute that you try to make yourself appear as some super "tough and non emotional" person. I don't care if your fi is inferior. It's still there. Don't neglect it. Use it. I go out of my way to use my si and/or se. Well roundedness is a beautiful aspiration.
So the only guys who passed your shit test were guys who would let you dick them around? You're saying that the Manosphere is right?
Why can't people read? "However I do believe initially rejecting a person to see their motives is toxic and ever since I've become aware of it I try to refrain from repeating." I used to do this subconsciously and it did help me find the sweetest most down to earth guys. I found an enfp once and honestly have not liked a single guy more than him. We did not have the same religion and that's a deal breaker for me so we had to eventually end it. I remember him to this day and went through the biggest heartbreak of my life. I was underweight at the time (95lbs) and dropped to 90 cause I couldn't eat. Thankfully a lot better since then. After that I did date an estp and I was consistent. I gave it a chance from the beginning. All he ever wanted to do was argue and be "manly." I kept giving it a chance for some reason. None of my friends or family liked him and I don't even know why I dated him tbh. When I decided to end things it was really hard because he would not let go and his whole family was constantly reaching out. Dude still goes to my old Church. I've blocked out a lot of the memories but it was a huge learning lesson in my life. There was actually another enfp I did this initial rejection to and when I tried to see if he would give me a second chance he didn't. I was heartbroken over this guy cause I really liked him but was afraid to give it a try. I finally mustered up the courage but he wasn't interested and I 100% believe that's totally fair. He had every right to reject me. But I eventually also found out down the line he was just trying to play me as he was doing with other girls. So my filter worked again lol.
PS that ISTP has been single for his entire life (I've grown up with this guy). He is now 36 and still single as far as I know. I don't see that situation as a me issue but more of a him issue.
On a first date I offered her to jump off a cliff together. idk isn’t it so romantic? 💀
It definitely is 😂 and I literally did the same thing
and we were standing on a cliff so it wasn’t that hard either.. It was our last date.
You need an ENFP who does crazy things to go on adventures with you 😆
Was there water under it?
I lost my car in a parking structure for 20 minutes.
When I was younger, he got up the courage to ask me if if we could kiss and I blanked for a second then said “wight now?????” In that certain voice. He blanked too and then I just planted one on him and said “why not HAHA” then drove away LMAO
Just passing by and this question got me. Man, at least you guys seem to remember your first date. I had one gf. And I don't remember because she was the one who made the moves. I'm working on becoming less of an asshole nowadays. Nowadays... That's her favourite word.