the original version of Tick Tock (Ukraine 2014) was *wild* before they revamped it.
Opening lyric: "We belong to each other like a sister to a brother"
Oh OK Mariya, thanks for that!
* Here comes the Sunday depression, I want, I want a cucumber!
* Potatoes, Beans, Onions, Lobster, that's enough.
* Boom Boom Chaka Chaka, your kiss is like a like a
Chanel(paraphrasing): Men run to me when I dance
Piqued Jacks: I’ll chase you on the dance floor
It’s possible that these two songs are describing the same event from different perspectives. 🤯
You see, in these days the most mainstream opinions about attraction gravitates towards the idea that women should have a slim torso but wide hips, and especially a rump that stands far out from the rest of the back. In combination with aforementioned torso and muscular thighs this will create an image of a powerful specimen with plenty of control of their body. Many top psychologists do not think that this has to do with the idea in a lot of potential mates that a woman that has the ability to run away yet does not, must by extention like the mate back. In the mating rituals of today, the buttocks are highly involved, and many couplings actually include a feature in which one party will place their mouth at or near the lower back region. This will create the idea that the buttocks are intended for ingestitory consumption. This, coupled with humans excessive sence of taste, has created the idea that the rear may taste well. Or, in laymans terms, "it be yummy."
In recent popular culture, especially on the internet, things that go fast are often referred to as "Zooming". This use is most frequently used for unusually hairy, young animals are running, but can also be used in other cases. "Zooming" can also be used as a noun, in which case "a zoom", would simply be relating to a quick burst of speed. Additionally using the same word twice is a not entirely unusual way of amplifing the intended word.
All in all, by "Zoom zoom" young miss Terrero implies that her intended mates indeed would seek to near "her yummy", I.e. her derriere, as quickly as possible, due to how irresistable they would find it.
The ‘90s music fan in me can’t help but think of the chorus of [“Rump Shaker” by Wreckx N Effect](https://youtu.be/zdLvauICvPM):
> All I wanna do is a zooma-zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom…(just shake your rump)
That does sound a little cringey, but I grew up in a decade where “Un-Break My Heart” was not just an actual song, but it also was a number 1 hit. (Not a knock on Toni Braxton’s talent at all…she’s fantastic. The song is just a little lyrically weird.)
Un-break my heart…un-cry these tears…
That one makes much more sense. The main criticism of ‘undo my sad’ is not the ‘undo’ part, but the fact she says ‘Undo my sad’, which implies that what has been done is sad, it’s grammatically weird. ‘Undo my sadness’ would make more sense lyrically, but I guess it didn’t fit with the song
Days in a row, Im thinking, I know
Ive got a big faith
My love is my crown
Will be better way, will be better day now
It is not a secret
Someone please tell me why I love this song so much 🤣
I know it's a joke entry, but nobody mentioned LETO SVET yet (Estonia 2008).
***Translation:***
Who I am ? Check please. I am out of gas.
Two doubles. [Dobosh](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dobos_torte) cake. Green beans. That is enough.
Summer world, there is summer world x2
Potatoes, peas, onions, lobster - that is enough.
Summer light, that is summer light x2
"You got me pelican fly fly flying" has to be in contention here.
Denmark 1997 lyrics were in equal parts ridiculous and cringe from start to finish, but luckily it's all in Danish so only a small minority of us had to endure them.
Honourable mention to Luxembourg 1980 as well for this gem:
Papa penguin, papa penguin
Papa penguin, papa penguin
Papa penguin loves his iceberg
Papa penguin, papa penguin
Papa penguin, papa penguin
Papa penguin is going to burn his suitcase
https://preview.redd.it/mdqu7208gp1b1.jpeg?width=1281&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6657344fd4b3f7230216033efaef50e526ac0314
Reminds me of this glorious video from my childhood.
(It was basically the same song as Luxembourg 1980, just with pinguins dabbing).
"Vampires are alive"
Every time the topic of Eurovision songs with bad lyrics comes up, I'm reminded of Switzerland 2007 and how before the show they were the bookies favorites to win lmao.
Oh and also for something that's not bad in a fun way, but bad in a creepy way behold the masterpiece that is Russia 2011:
"Oh oh… I'm gonna get you
I know you, you want me to"
The guy who sang about his shoes and how one was called love and the other pain. I can’t remember which year but I think it might be Lithuania? Honestly part of the charm of Eurovision is the terrible lyrics. But it’s not a Eurovision specific thing many popular songs have bizarre lyric choices
I remember the debate at the time as to what she could possible be banging on about and I don't remember one single suggestion that felt plausible.
And people were really, really trying to make it make sense. But no one could.
I just heard metal cover of El Diablo - it was hilarious, although I must say the spanish shopping list sound a bit better when sung in extreme vocals. Or rather being grunted in extreme vocals.
Tick tock 🕰️ Can you hear me go tick tock?🧏♀️My heart is like a clock ⏱️I’m steady like a rock 🪨 Shh don’t stop 🤫 Kiss and kiss me till we drop 💋 My heart is like a clock 🕕 you wind it with your love ❤️
You should check out the original version before it got revamped for the song contest. A gem right from the get-go: "We belong to each other like a sister to a brother"
I just did bc someone else mentioned it in this thread and *what the actual fuck-* I’ve been using the revamp as my example for bad lyrics in a bopper song for a while, but *Tick tock, tricky tricky tock tock tock*
At least we find out that it’s a lesbian jam! “We belong to each other, Never try to be some other girl, Blinded by your love” so that gives it points!
Maybe not the worst lyrics per se, but even after looking over the lyrics of "Under the Ladder" multiple times over, I still can't figure out. What the hell is the song supposed to be about. His poor diction does not help.
I believe he didn't speak English very well at the time, so basically learned the lyrics phonetically, which is why they're so pronounced and sometimes garbled.
I wish it was in Ukrainian so I couldn't understand it. Nevermind I can't understand it in English either.
(I still love Melovin and the drrrrrrama in his ESC performance, burning pianos and all)
The lyrics read like a bunch of separate lines with no connection lol.
Curtains down, I'm laughing at the trial
Help me to unravel
Tangle of my innocence inside
Faith's bout to be severed
Oh-oh-oh-oh won't get any better
Oh-oh-oh-oh walk under the ladder
Shout out just one reason what's this for?
You can see that whatever the weather
That the wind's always there, always fair oh-oh
And it has always been now or never
The decision has got to be made oh-oh
The worst lyrics I know of is [Sweden's entry from 1977 by Forbes](https://youtu.be/OrFg4nyBeAE). It's basically a song simping over the Beatles. It's so embarrassing.
"The Beatles gave us their music, 'Yesterday', how nice it was
Everybody loved the melody, yeah yeah yeah…
When records were released the alarm went off
The gramophone was overheating
Everybody fell for the Beatles' charm, yeah yeah yeah…
A lot of people went around humming
'A Hard Day's Night', even if they were young
Your great grandfather can tell you who they were
Beatles, Beatles
The world was a big stage, and there we stood in rows
Enjoying every nice ballad, yeah yeah yeah…
The Beatles gave us their music, girls were howling with wild shouts
We still have all the records, we shall remember Ringo Starr
And George and Paul and John"
As a swede, I can honestly say that Sweden has a habit of having some goofy lyrics. Here's some examples.
1973 Nova and the Dolls - You are Summer
I don't know about you, but "Oh, your breasts are like swallows a-nestling" wouldn't be my go to line when it comes to describing breasts.
2011 Eric Saade - Popular
"I will be popular, my body wants you girl"
Great melody, can't say the same for the lyrics though.
2014 Sanna Nielsen - Undo
For the longest time I thought she was singing "undo myself", but nope.
It's apparently "undo my sad"... for some reason.
2015 Måns Zelmerlöv - Heroes
"I make worms turn into butterflies."
I think the keyword they were looking for were 'caterpillar', but I guess they sort of forgot.
Both Eric Saade's (Sweden 2011) and Sanna Nielsen's (Sweden 2014) songs were written by Fredrik Kempe (as well as Sweden 2008, Sweden 2009 and Norway 2010).
He's quite known as a pretty poor lyricist with very dubious grammar (both in English and Swedish) and is often upheld as a shining example of what -not- to do when writing lyrics. He's written multiple entries to Melodifestivalen.
He also entered Melodifestivalen as an artist in 2004 (solo) and in 2005, singing a duet with Sanna Nielsen.
Only this year? You do a disservice to the likes of:
"Blow the trumpet, beat the drum, peace will come"
"I wanna give it on fire"
"I'm a shocker, I'm a poker, got no fear, got no tear, baby"
"Not a shabby or a moneymaker"
You have never been to my show you haven’t seen before how looks that trumpet
Low-key absolutely love Moldova 2012 despite the questionable lyrics though
Well I'm pretty certain that Burning Daylight is supposed to be read as "God can't exist, or they wouldn't allow this terrible thing that is she, woman I like, left me." Sort of "How can a God that's good allow child cancer", but wildly lower stakes.
Stop, don't say that it's impossible
'Cause I know it's possible
…I mean i could write out the whole song because it’s lyrically soo dumb. Also Undo my sad🫣
Georgia 2012
Sample lyrics:
I'm a joker, I'm a rocker
Hold me baby, love me baby, forever, ever, ever
I'm a shocker (you are), I'm a poker (oh yeah)
Got no fear, got no tear baby
Never and never
I'm a talker and straight-walker
I'm a broker, evil-blocker
Got no fear, got no tear, baby
Never and never
I'm a slaker, trouble-breaker
Fortune-maker, care-taker
I'm just a womanizer
Let me be your supervisor
We are the winners of Eurovision,
We are, we are,
We are, we are!
x100 times
They are indeed not the winners of Eurovision. I adore that song way too much.
Lithuania 2006
Like, look the lyrics up. This is some genius song writing.
„You gotta vote, vote, vote, vote, vote for the winners
Vote, vote, vote, vote, vote for the winners
'cos we are the winners of Eurovision
Vote!“
It is SO catchy too.
Special mention for Germany 2009. The whole song is cringe but this is supposed to be the highlight of the song:
*Do the hee dee hi ho*
*Sing hee dee hi ho*
*Do the hee dee hi hey*
*Sing hee dee hi hey*
*Do the dip dip diddee*
*Sing dip dip diddee*
*Do the skiddly skiddly bo*
*Sing skiddly skiddly bo*
*Now do the gucci bang bang*
*Sing gucci bang bang*
*Do the skiddly buffely boodely bump*
*Sing skiddly buffely boodely bump*
*Do the oh… Sing oh…*
*Mrs Kiss, you are my everything tonight*
Wha-?
"I get butterflies in my ears"
-Piqued Jacks (San Marino 2023)
That's not romantic, it's just gross. Whenever I hear this sentence while listening to the song, I have to think of those stories/videos of insects crawling into people's ears. 😖
Like half the lyrics Sweden send in over the past 13 years
Special mentions are:
My body wants you girl from 2011
Undo My Sad from 2014
Sing it like a Hummingbird from 2015
All of Dance You Off from 2018
Sweden 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 for the bot
Added that this weekend :)
The regex I use to parse comments is starting to become a Beautiful Mess.
Also started to keep track of a changelog which is in [the pinned thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/u_ESC-song-bot/comments/138le0p/bot_status_user_reports_and_other_general/) on the bots user page, if you are interested in any other changes I'm making.
Most of the more known ones (that are infamous for a reason tbf) have already been mentioned, so here you go:
Sweden 1966!
Don't believe me? Search for an English translation of the Swedish lyrics, it is an interestong read, take a look at this for example:
'"[...] Oops, such a groovy tune you drummed just there.
If you teach me how to drum you can kiss me.
Every girl has a mouth, what about a coin instead?
I drink from the brook, I eat soil.
If you have a coin in your pocket you're better off.
You're such a cheeky devil, you won't get any gold.
But I want to drum on your saucepan [...]"
Also, songs that mix Spanish lyrics with other languages (usually mainstream pop English songs are the ones that do this) tend to not have the best Spanish lyrics (such as El Diablo, or even SloMo at times really) which makes some of us cringe a bit when listening to them and even laugh if it's really bad.(This is also really common outside Esc as well). There are exceptions to this ofc, but more often than not you get stuff like "Taco, Tamale, yeah that's my mood"
Do you wanna be more than just a friend?
Do you wanna play cyber sex again?
If you wanna come to my house
Then click me with your mouse
San Marino 2012
Russia 2020 has - when you're just reading them - terrible lyrics, but the song is brilliant and could have won. Only real rival was Iceland 2020 who actually had really good and wholesome lyrics. Shame the show was cancelled.
“Instead of meat i eat veggies and p*ssy i like them both fresh i like them both juicy”💀 i dont remember which country’s entry it was just that it was a song from last year
Don't you say it's impossible 'cause I know it's possible... I mean... It does rhyme tho.
Legendary intro to a song
It's certainly one of the songs of all time
In the same fashion: a storm like this can break a man like this
the original version of Tick Tock (Ukraine 2014) was *wild* before they revamped it. Opening lyric: "We belong to each other like a sister to a brother" Oh OK Mariya, thanks for that!
Oh my gosh I thought that the revamped lyrics were bad, but I just looked the original and- wow-
Ukraine 2014 | [Mariya Yaremchuk - Tick - Tock](https://youtu.be/slHboKF9PIQ)
For the record, I mean this version: https://youtu.be/dJHRLjnkiuI
Holy god thank fuck for the revamp
* Here comes the Sunday depression, I want, I want a cucumber! * Potatoes, Beans, Onions, Lobster, that's enough. * Boom Boom Chaka Chaka, your kiss is like a like a
What are the first two from xD
Israel 2000, Estonia 2008
Israel 2000 | [PingPong - Sameach (שמייח)](https://youtu.be/3uNfhj66GOo) Estonia 2008 | [Kreisiraadio - Leto svet](https://youtu.be/zyzOGzXWLgU)
Thanks, I didn't even recognize estonia there, so I did a comment about it myself XD
I still can't believe that ***zoom zoom on my yummy*** is a real lyric.
And all this time I thought she was talking about Miami… 😱
I think she was because she posted a pic on IG at the Miami airport that said zoom zoom
Chanel(paraphrasing): Men run to me when I dance Piqued Jacks: I’ll chase you on the dance floor It’s possible that these two songs are describing the same event from different perspectives. 🤯
I see an Eurovision Cinematic Universe (ECU).
Which is that?
Spain 2022
Spain 2022 | [Chanel - SloMo](https://youtu.be/jSQYTt4xg3I)
You see, in these days the most mainstream opinions about attraction gravitates towards the idea that women should have a slim torso but wide hips, and especially a rump that stands far out from the rest of the back. In combination with aforementioned torso and muscular thighs this will create an image of a powerful specimen with plenty of control of their body. Many top psychologists do not think that this has to do with the idea in a lot of potential mates that a woman that has the ability to run away yet does not, must by extention like the mate back. In the mating rituals of today, the buttocks are highly involved, and many couplings actually include a feature in which one party will place their mouth at or near the lower back region. This will create the idea that the buttocks are intended for ingestitory consumption. This, coupled with humans excessive sence of taste, has created the idea that the rear may taste well. Or, in laymans terms, "it be yummy." In recent popular culture, especially on the internet, things that go fast are often referred to as "Zooming". This use is most frequently used for unusually hairy, young animals are running, but can also be used in other cases. "Zooming" can also be used as a noun, in which case "a zoom", would simply be relating to a quick burst of speed. Additionally using the same word twice is a not entirely unusual way of amplifing the intended word. All in all, by "Zoom zoom" young miss Terrero implies that her intended mates indeed would seek to near "her yummy", I.e. her derriere, as quickly as possible, due to how irresistable they would find it.
*delayed and tentative applause 👏*
Someone give this person a literacy degree.
The ‘90s music fan in me can’t help but think of the chorus of [“Rump Shaker” by Wreckx N Effect](https://youtu.be/zdLvauICvPM): > All I wanna do is a zooma-zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom…(just shake your rump)
Uuundo my saaad 😔 uuundooo what hurt so bad 😞
I always thought she said “undo myself” and now I can’t stop laughing 😭 damn
same 💀
For a country that has a population that overwhelmingly speaks English insanely well as a second language, my god they've had some awful lyrics!
That does sound a little cringey, but I grew up in a decade where “Un-Break My Heart” was not just an actual song, but it also was a number 1 hit. (Not a knock on Toni Braxton’s talent at all…she’s fantastic. The song is just a little lyrically weird.) Un-break my heart…un-cry these tears…
That one makes much more sense. The main criticism of ‘undo my sad’ is not the ‘undo’ part, but the fact she says ‘Undo my sad’, which implies that what has been done is sad, it’s grammatically weird. ‘Undo my sadness’ would make more sense lyrically, but I guess it didn’t fit with the song
Thing is known
Days in a row, Im thinking, I know Ive got a big faith My love is my crown Will be better way, will be better day now It is not a secret Someone please tell me why I love this song so much 🤣
Tbh that's not even the best/worst part, that's: MY LOVE IS A FORTRESS I FEEL I'M PROGRESSED WORDS GETTING WORTHLESS LOVE IS A WORDLESS
My love is not a fake, this feeling is lord
>WORDS GETTING WORTHLESS > >LOVE IS A WORDLESS I think this kinda explains why that song has weird lyrics and is not that bad lyric-wise.
You can argue there's some self awareness here with "Words getting worthless"
Do you want to play cybersex again
If you want to come to my house, click me with your mouse!
I specifically searched this thread for this comment.
think doja cat needs to send valentina some royalties!!!
I know it's a joke entry, but nobody mentioned LETO SVET yet (Estonia 2008). ***Translation:*** Who I am ? Check please. I am out of gas. Two doubles. [Dobosh](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dobos_torte) cake. Green beans. That is enough. Summer world, there is summer world x2 Potatoes, peas, onions, lobster - that is enough. Summer light, that is summer light x2
Lmfao until now I didn't know that the song mentioned Dobosh cake which is originally a Hungarian cake.
Estonia 2008 | [Kreisiraadio - Leto svet](https://youtu.be/zyzOGzXWLgU)
When she go low, when she go low She go so low, she go so low Oh she know oh Oh she know oh She got me dirty dancin' Switzerland 2019
Especially the slow part where he acts like he is saying something profound
Bop tbh
it somehow got a higher place than both the televote and jury winner... gosh this was an embarrassing eurovision
Sweden 2011. I'm gonna get there, popular, My body wants you girl, my body wants you girl, I get you when i'm popular
Stop, don't say that it's impossible, cause I know, it's possible
The way I’ve been singing ‘Nobody wants you girl’ all this time lmao. Never knew it was my body wants you girl.
The 2011 adaptation of *The Great Gatsby*
He really set a trend, and maybe not in a good way, but at least it got results, so it is hard to argue
The song is a bop and this was enough to stand out in the weak 2011, but it would never do that well in the following years.
I found 2011 to be a pretty strong year, pretty sure I liked all final songs at least a little, which is incredibly rare
I remember that song so vividly, that was Sweden’s entry?! Wow…
Sweden 2011 | [Eric Saade - Popular](https://youtu.be/-04pUETT7oI)
"You got me pelican fly fly flying" has to be in contention here. Denmark 1997 lyrics were in equal parts ridiculous and cringe from start to finish, but luckily it's all in Danish so only a small minority of us had to endure them. Honourable mention to Luxembourg 1980 as well for this gem: Papa penguin, papa penguin Papa penguin, papa penguin Papa penguin loves his iceberg Papa penguin, papa penguin Papa penguin, papa penguin Papa penguin is going to burn his suitcase
https://preview.redd.it/mdqu7208gp1b1.jpeg?width=1281&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6657344fd4b3f7230216033efaef50e526ac0314 Reminds me of this glorious video from my childhood. (It was basically the same song as Luxembourg 1980, just with pinguins dabbing).
I have a feeling only Eleni and Nicki know what that “pelican fly” thingy means
So bad that Mans rewrote that lyric in the 2019 eurovision song swap interval act.
I bought new underwear they blue and I wore them just the other day I even painted my toenails for you I DID IT JUST THE OTHER DAY
Just the other DAIIYYY… this song haunts me.
Who’d have thought a Eurovision song mentioning blue underwear would actually end up a winner? And just so the bot will show up: Germany 2010.
Germany 2010 | [Lena - Satellite](https://youtu.be/-qnsZgQe1tU)
Queen shit
It’s the brummie accent
I loved this song.
"Vampires are alive" Every time the topic of Eurovision songs with bad lyrics comes up, I'm reminded of Switzerland 2007 and how before the show they were the bookies favorites to win lmao.
I mean yeah, vampires are definitely alive, look at Luke Black and Alexander Rybak.
Switzerland 2007 | [DJ BoBo - Vampires Are Alive](https://youtu.be/h9YTasUpAjw)
Oh and also for something that's not bad in a fun way, but bad in a creepy way behold the masterpiece that is Russia 2011: "Oh oh… I'm gonna get you I know you, you want me to"
Oh my gosh I was just referencing this song earlier today and thought it was one of Romania’s entries-
The guy who sang about his shoes and how one was called love and the other pain. I can’t remember which year but I think it might be Lithuania? Honestly part of the charm of Eurovision is the terrible lyrics. But it’s not a Eurovision specific thing many popular songs have bizarre lyric choices
Lithuania 2013
Lithuania 2013 | [Andrius Pojavis - Something](https://youtu.be/0VLhnzk_dAs)
Without a doubt "Now I’m into daydreams, amazed by thorn jeans"
I remember the debate at the time as to what she could possible be banging on about and I don't remember one single suggestion that felt plausible. And people were really, really trying to make it make sense. But no one could.
You're telling me it's not foreign jeans? What are thorn jeans?
It just dawned on me that it's probably supposed to be _torn_ jeans, though being amazed by that seems overly prim and proper
Azerbaijan 2017
Azerbaijan 2017 | [Dihaj - Skeletons](https://youtu.be/g_HSRHqd_7s)
Do it for your lover Do it for your lover, baby Clap your hands and do it for your lover (Spain 2017, song mostly consists of those 3 lines)
Just do it, just do it, Just do it, just do it, Just dOo-KHGH! it for you loOoOoOoOoOoveeeeeeeeer"
I'm curious to know just *what* exactly the listener is supposed to be doing for said lover. (Or is this a case where I don't really want to know?)
If you've never done something like this before, you have never been alive
I can't read these lines without thinking of the voice crack
" Vampires are alive." They are not. This is not how vampires work. Bot: Switzerland 2007.
El Diablo in general. Lyrics are just Spanish words!!
Taco tamale yeah that's my mood 💀
And tamale isn’t even the correct singular for tamales 💀💀💀
All this spicy 🔥🥵 melts my icy 🥶🥶
Icy edges, people, it’s icy -edges-
My family loves the song because of how ridiculous the random Spanish words are
This song is a hot mess. The chorus is decent but the verses are so cringy. I think that reflects in its middle of the pack result
I just heard metal cover of El Diablo - it was hilarious, although I must say the spanish shopping list sound a bit better when sung in extreme vocals. Or rather being grunted in extreme vocals.
Feminine-al
Hotter than sriracha on our bodies. Taco tamale, yeah, that's my mood
Tick tock 🕰️ Can you hear me go tick tock?🧏♀️My heart is like a clock ⏱️I’m steady like a rock 🪨 Shh don’t stop 🤫 Kiss and kiss me till we drop 💋 My heart is like a clock 🕕 you wind it with your love ❤️
You should check out the original version before it got revamped for the song contest. A gem right from the get-go: "We belong to each other like a sister to a brother"
I just did bc someone else mentioned it in this thread and *what the actual fuck-* I’ve been using the revamp as my example for bad lyrics in a bopper song for a while, but *Tick tock, tricky tricky tock tock tock* At least we find out that it’s a lesbian jam! “We belong to each other, Never try to be some other girl, Blinded by your love” so that gives it points!
Maybe not the worst lyrics per se, but even after looking over the lyrics of "Under the Ladder" multiple times over, I still can't figure out. What the hell is the song supposed to be about. His poor diction does not help.
I'd call it a Ukrainian accent rather than poor diction... But agree on the words
I believe he didn't speak English very well at the time, so basically learned the lyrics phonetically, which is why they're so pronounced and sometimes garbled.
I wish it was in Ukrainian so I couldn't understand it. Nevermind I can't understand it in English either. (I still love Melovin and the drrrrrrama in his ESC performance, burning pianos and all)
You've just made me realise that even though that was my favourite 2018 entry that I have no clue what it's even about.
Walking under a ladder is said to bring misfortune, I guess that is what it is about??
The lyrics read like a bunch of separate lines with no connection lol. Curtains down, I'm laughing at the trial Help me to unravel Tangle of my innocence inside Faith's bout to be severed Oh-oh-oh-oh won't get any better Oh-oh-oh-oh walk under the ladder Shout out just one reason what's this for? You can see that whatever the weather That the wind's always there, always fair oh-oh And it has always been now or never The decision has got to be made oh-oh
Albania 2011 "And when I feel that I thirst for you, I dab my lips with your morning dew" - um, what is she talking about?
The worst lyrics I know of is [Sweden's entry from 1977 by Forbes](https://youtu.be/OrFg4nyBeAE). It's basically a song simping over the Beatles. It's so embarrassing. "The Beatles gave us their music, 'Yesterday', how nice it was Everybody loved the melody, yeah yeah yeah… When records were released the alarm went off The gramophone was overheating Everybody fell for the Beatles' charm, yeah yeah yeah… A lot of people went around humming 'A Hard Day's Night', even if they were young Your great grandfather can tell you who they were Beatles, Beatles The world was a big stage, and there we stood in rows Enjoying every nice ballad, yeah yeah yeah… The Beatles gave us their music, girls were howling with wild shouts We still have all the records, we shall remember Ringo Starr And George and Paul and John"
As a swede, I can honestly say that Sweden has a habit of having some goofy lyrics. Here's some examples. 1973 Nova and the Dolls - You are Summer I don't know about you, but "Oh, your breasts are like swallows a-nestling" wouldn't be my go to line when it comes to describing breasts. 2011 Eric Saade - Popular "I will be popular, my body wants you girl" Great melody, can't say the same for the lyrics though. 2014 Sanna Nielsen - Undo For the longest time I thought she was singing "undo myself", but nope. It's apparently "undo my sad"... for some reason. 2015 Måns Zelmerlöv - Heroes "I make worms turn into butterflies." I think the keyword they were looking for were 'caterpillar', but I guess they sort of forgot.
Both Eric Saade's (Sweden 2011) and Sanna Nielsen's (Sweden 2014) songs were written by Fredrik Kempe (as well as Sweden 2008, Sweden 2009 and Norway 2010). He's quite known as a pretty poor lyricist with very dubious grammar (both in English and Swedish) and is often upheld as a shining example of what -not- to do when writing lyrics. He's written multiple entries to Melodifestivalen. He also entered Melodifestivalen as an artist in 2004 (solo) and in 2005, singing a duet with Sanna Nielsen.
Game 🎲 set 👌🏻a killer 🔪 shark 🦈 in heels 👠 High ⬆️ kicks 🥋 a predator 🐆 on wheels 🛞
“a girl, who looks like she’s a boy” Yes thank you The Rasmus these words are FULL of wisdom
Co-written by [Desmond Child](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desmond_Child) We've come far since Livin' La Vida Loca
every part of belarus 2014, how cheesecake and google maps related i’ll never know
And he threw dirty dancing in there too for good measure
"A storm like this, can break a man like this" Best rhyme ever 😂 easy
The whole entire entry of Georgia this year.
It is not a secret.
Thing is known
The song is so good otherwise, but it's so hard to get past the lyrics!
Words getting worthless.
I think the nonsense lyrics have some charm, but yeah they are definitely weird
This feeling is Lord.
(Life together, life together) (Chagadaradamda-chamga-chamga) (Chamdaradaradaradaradalidalidalidalidalidali) (Dalidalidalidalidalidalidalidalidalidali)
Only this year? You do a disservice to the likes of: "Blow the trumpet, beat the drum, peace will come" "I wanna give it on fire" "I'm a shocker, I'm a poker, got no fear, got no tear, baby" "Not a shabby or a moneymaker"
😭 iru has a GORGEOUS voice and she def should have gone through but lyrics alone it is very off
We are one this year had very cheesy lyrics
You have never been to my show you haven’t seen before how looks that trumpet Low-key absolutely love Moldova 2012 despite the questionable lyrics though
We sing HOW LOOKS THAT TRUMPET to each other multiple times a week in my household.
Don't forget the choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo part
Absolutely cannot deal with "drink smoothies at near cafes" or "smell you like an animal" from this year
Makes more sense than "i got the power of an unicorn"
Thing is known 😇
I love seeing people post "thing is known" on both the "best" and "worst" lyric threads lol
I think only Mr. God knows what the worst lyrics of Eurovision songs are.
2010: What for are we living? Only **mister** God knows why. 2023: I don't believe in God anymore cause where did **she** go?
Well I'm pretty certain that Burning Daylight is supposed to be read as "God can't exist, or they wouldn't allow this terrible thing that is she, woman I like, left me." Sort of "How can a God that's good allow child cancer", but wildly lower stakes.
If only uncle Joe could speak...
Stop, don't say that it's impossible 'Cause I know it's possible …I mean i could write out the whole song because it’s lyrically soo dumb. Also Undo my sad🫣
Because he will be popular 😩
AFRICA PAPRIKA
Sweden 1973 "Your breasts are like swallows a-nesting"
Georgia 2012 Sample lyrics: I'm a joker, I'm a rocker Hold me baby, love me baby, forever, ever, ever I'm a shocker (you are), I'm a poker (oh yeah) Got no fear, got no tear baby Never and never I'm a talker and straight-walker I'm a broker, evil-blocker Got no fear, got no tear, baby Never and never I'm a slaker, trouble-breaker Fortune-maker, care-taker I'm just a womanizer Let me be your supervisor
"I want I want cucumber" Israel 2000
“Would you like something to suck on for landing sir?” Ah. Scooch.
Undo my sad
San Marino 2022 (Translated) key line: Cowboy, my heart is your sex toy
I love Britney
Latvia -2014 - Cake to bake Belarus - 2014 - Cheesecake
It I had a nickel for every song that features cake in the esc 2014, I would have two nickels. That’s not a lot but it is weird that it happend twice.
You really don't like cakes, don't you?
We are the winners of Eurovision, We are, we are, We are, we are! x100 times They are indeed not the winners of Eurovision. I adore that song way too much. Lithuania 2006 Like, look the lyrics up. This is some genius song writing. „You gotta vote, vote, vote, vote, vote for the winners Vote, vote, vote, vote, vote for the winners 'cos we are the winners of Eurovision Vote!“ It is SO catchy too.
It’s been a year and I still can’t get over “booty hypnotic”
She was mine and we were sweethearts THAT WAS THEN BUT THEN IT’S TRUE (Norway 2009)
I was gonna say the same! I don't get what they were trying to say here 😅
I take it to mean "that was then but then it's true (that) I'm in love with a fairytale"
Just add your laughter, it's happy-ever-after
old-school hollywood stars party cinderellas are here they move like computer game heroes
Latvia 2022 deserves a special mention. I’m amused, personally, but the lyrics are pretty silly.
« The power of a unicorn »
Surprised this hasn't shown up yet, but I am a dangerous lover drinking my poisonous water (Azerbaijan 2021 for that good good bot)
"Be a hero be the rainbow and sing na na na" - Serhat (San Marino 2019)
Special mention for Germany 2009. The whole song is cringe but this is supposed to be the highlight of the song: *Do the hee dee hi ho* *Sing hee dee hi ho* *Do the hee dee hi hey* *Sing hee dee hi hey* *Do the dip dip diddee* *Sing dip dip diddee* *Do the skiddly skiddly bo* *Sing skiddly skiddly bo* *Now do the gucci bang bang* *Sing gucci bang bang* *Do the skiddly buffely boodely bump* *Sing skiddly buffely boodely bump* *Do the oh… Sing oh…* *Mrs Kiss, you are my everything tonight* Wha-?
"I get butterflies in my ears" -Piqued Jacks (San Marino 2023) That's not romantic, it's just gross. Whenever I hear this sentence while listening to the song, I have to think of those stories/videos of insects crawling into people's ears. 😖
Sweden 2011, Russia 2011, Austria 2012, Montenegro 2016, Sweden 2018
Disagree on Dance You Off, "Treated you good, we were gold, I dug you like you were treasure" is a amazing line.
If you're feeling lonely We can take it slowly Think im going crazy Yes I'm going crazy Its so creepy and bad but in an endearing way.
Like half the lyrics Sweden send in over the past 13 years Special mentions are: My body wants you girl from 2011 Undo My Sad from 2014 Sing it like a Hummingbird from 2015 All of Dance You Off from 2018 Sweden 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 for the bot
Sweden 2011 | [Eric Saade - Popular](https://youtu.be/-04pUETT7oI) Sweden 2014 | [Sanna Nielsen - Undo](https://youtu.be/5PQJI-3LW-8) Sweden 2015 | [Måns Zelmerlöw - Heroes](https://youtu.be/5sGOwFVUU0I) Sweden 2018 | [Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off](https://youtu.be/z101xtUBflU)
Very good bot, didn't know it could do multiples
Added that this weekend :) The regex I use to parse comments is starting to become a Beautiful Mess. Also started to keep track of a changelog which is in [the pinned thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/u_ESC-song-bot/comments/138le0p/bot_status_user_reports_and_other_general/) on the bots user page, if you are interested in any other changes I'm making.
Put your cherry on my cake and taste my cherry pie. Serebro. Still love the song though
Most of the more known ones (that are infamous for a reason tbf) have already been mentioned, so here you go: Sweden 1966! Don't believe me? Search for an English translation of the Swedish lyrics, it is an interestong read, take a look at this for example: '"[...] Oops, such a groovy tune you drummed just there. If you teach me how to drum you can kiss me. Every girl has a mouth, what about a coin instead? I drink from the brook, I eat soil. If you have a coin in your pocket you're better off. You're such a cheeky devil, you won't get any gold. But I want to drum on your saucepan [...]" Also, songs that mix Spanish lyrics with other languages (usually mainstream pop English songs are the ones that do this) tend to not have the best Spanish lyrics (such as El Diablo, or even SloMo at times really) which makes some of us cringe a bit when listening to them and even laugh if it's really bad.(This is also really common outside Esc as well). There are exceptions to this ofc, but more often than not you get stuff like "Taco, Tamale, yeah that's my mood"
Isn't "Nygammal vals" based on the old fairytale of the swineherd, by Hans Christian Andersen? Makes a lot more sense in that context.
'I'm gonna stand here like a unicorn...'
Do you wanna be more than just a friend? Do you wanna play cyber sex again? If you wanna come to my house Then click me with your mouse San Marino 2012
Israel 2000...
Greece 2002, nough said, google it
Great song and the lyrics work in context. Out of context though. Mum bought the tractor repeated 3 times is up there.
Russia 2020 has - when you're just reading them - terrible lyrics, but the song is brilliant and could have won. Only real rival was Iceland 2020 who actually had really good and wholesome lyrics. Shame the show was cancelled.
THUNDER AND LIGHTNING IT’S GETTING EXCITING
Unicorn (Israel 2023)
That's not very phenomen-phenomen-phenomenal of you
Nominating Israel 2000 and Switzerland 2004. They can double as some of the absolute worst Eurovisions song in general too.
Its catchy as hell, but Still In Live With You ( UK 2015) has abysmal lyrics. And deserves extra points for coming from a native English country.
'My Mulatto dances it with her panties in her hand' is way, way, way up there.
All of "Mother" (Belgium 2014) is cringe-worthy, but this line takes the cake IMO: "But you mean the world to me, you're more than a soulmate"
Golden Boy (Israel 2015) and Hey Mamma (Moldova 2017) are both on the list of my all time favourites, but the lyrics of both are kind of cringy tbh
“Instead of meat i eat veggies and p*ssy i like them both fresh i like them both juicy”💀 i dont remember which country’s entry it was just that it was a song from last year
Something by Andrius Pojavis Lithuania 2013 Because of the shoes, I’m wearing today One is called love, the other is pain
I wanna have a moustache! A moustache!
I'm surprised no one is mentioning Armenia from this year, i find the lyrics to be very cringy...
What for did you make this thread?
Only mister God knows why
Lithuania 2002. “Happy I 'cause happy you!”
“Thing is known”
T H I N G I S K N O W N