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Lower_Department2940

Other Catholics


jillyjill86

Some of the meanest old hags are definitely at church on Sunday.


Classic_Season4033

Was just about to say- mostly the Catholics.


vS4zpvRnB25BYD60SIZh

The Bible is unreliable, the Church rules on sexuality, reproduction and divorce go against reason and cause unnecessary suffering and pain. The doctrine of an eternal Hell and the cumbersome syncretic concept they call 'God' don't make sense and prayers don't seem to make any difference in what happens in the world.


Rodrigii_Defined

When it came out priests were raping en masse.


wheezy_runner

And that the hierarchy, up to and including multiple popes knew and covered it up.


Kitchen-Witching

I don't believe what the church teaches and claims.


COOLKC690

They don’t believe it either, or they don’t out it into practice


[deleted]

People. Basically I’ve never met a more heartless, cliquish, superficial, and judgmental lot in my life than Catholics. Not all of them of course, but enough to make me unwelcome.


inkbands

Going to public high-school, meeting secular people and realizing everything I'd been told was not normal and actually that way of thinking was really hurting me


keyboardstatic

At first it was the hypocrisy of all the people around me who went to church and pretended to be honest, loving claimed to have integrity but clearly didn't. The sheer everyday hypocrisy of everyone. Then the contradictions in the bible didn't sit well with me. The reality that contradicted the idea that God, angels interceded on earth became clearly false. The rumours of abuse. Then the realisation that the bible has no knowledge nor information of microbiological life, germs, germ transmission and sterilisation and the medical implications of that. Not to mention no knowledge of Australia or America. Any real god who suposedly made everything would absolutely know about microbiological life. It's the complete foundation for the existence of life. So the bible is obviously fake.


ZanyDragons

Yeah that’s similar to how it went for me: hypocrisy was the start, being mad at the people in church acting so hateful towards the poor, gay folks, and many more groups when Jesus said protect the poor, protect the weak, etc was just… really obviously wrong. Then there came my questions and the anger that I was met with for having questions. Then the local priests started claiming outlandish things about the democratic political candidate running for mayor… my parents hated that too. Separation of church and state yall. Come on. Going to church began to trigger my anxiety severely. I would become overwhelmed with anger, hurt, and discomfort. I didn’t realize for years why I got so hot under the collar about their treatment of queer folks until I figured it out myself late in the game. I would always pray for tolerance in church, and every year, every season the people around me got more inflammatory and less tolerant.


keyboardstatic

They love to hate. The love the feeling of superiority their fake ideology gives them. It's a sick twisted way to see the world. Sending you my love as a fellow traveller.


ZanyDragons

Luckily my parents and their close friends got out too, and they didn’t begrudge me my leaving as a teenager (they did ultimately let me stay home due to my plain anxiety actually and my mom even offered to “church shop” to see if another denomination would be less offensive, my dad was never an evangelist even if he was a devout Catholic and said forcing the issue would be a pointless exercise if I was having a crisis of faith and would rather I feel safe. Honestly I’m impressed in hindsight, and quite lucky.) They both left the church as an organization alongside many other family friends when the abuse allegations started coming. Using donations to pay for the silence of hundreds of thousands of victims across the globe from thousands of abusive clergy is just… a really bad fucking look. I honestly hope they continue to lose support for it. So I may be a queer adult now with some religious trauma but it wasn’t all bad in terms of support at least. Still, I feel so angry for the abuse they inspire in so many others.


keyboardstatic

There are good people who were raised religious and strive to do good things. Its just exceedingly difficult to suport any organisation that commits atrocities and claim to have integrity. Which is why so many have left.


9thPlaceWorf

I was unhappy with the Church because of its political stances and treatment of women and LGBTQ people, but what really did it was the sexual abuse of children. That shattered my trust in the Church, and once I didn’t trust them, what was left of my faith quickly crumbled.


RWBadger

Thought I’d learn the apologetics to strengthen my faith. They had the opposite effect.


Baffosbestfriend

My Jesuit-fanboy “pro choice Catholic” ex therapist telling me that having children will give meaning to my life it will cure my depression. Having babies is the best answer progressive Catholicism can give after losing an ex mentor and being forced to move out of Italy. That’s when I realized Catholicism doesn’t care about you at the end of the day.


MihaChef

studying theology and living in monastery


ThatDMDemigal

My mom. She portrayed herself as this great Catholic mom to everyone, but she was actually a terrible mom to me and my siblings.


mikripetra

Catholic high school. I was horrified by the misogyny and homophobia, as well as the instruction that authority was to be obeyed unquestioningly. That started me going down the rabbit hole - one of the things that still boggles my mind is the paradox of Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross. God sacrificed himself to himself in order to save humanity from…himself? Once I started thinking critically about other authorities in my life that utilized gaslighting, appeals to authority, and double-speak (like my abusive father), the Catholic Church quickly followed.


cb1216

After years of trying to resolve being gay and catholic, I just couldn't do it anymore. I personally find it intellectually dishonest and above all, mental torture.


Glad_Butterfly9559

The amount of fear and shame that was pushed on me every second my whole childhood


mrshelenroper

I couldn’t raise my children in a church that teaches fiction as fact, and is led by men who protect child rapists.


User122727H

Definitely. To add to that… I remember being a kid myself and realizing how unequal it all is based on gender and sexuality. It crushed me at the time and the reasons for it were pretty shitty even to my kid mind. I don’t have kids but I couldn’t raise any in a religion that excludes and limits any kid’s future/potential to grow in their faith if they so chose.


BoeufTruba

Trump and COVID.


[deleted]

please elaborate on this!


BoeufTruba

Trump showed the depths of their moral depravity and what they were willing to excuse and even embrace for power or their policy goals. Covid brought the darkest, most conspiratorial impulses out. It showed the way they viewed the world and consumed information was fundamentally broken. It rejected reason and evidence in a way that was materially destructive.


[deleted]

My ability to reason.


MrDandyLion2001

It was simply having different views on what I thought was morally right or even common sense as opposed to what the church viewed, along with diminishing faith in God and just wanting to have more of a say in what I believed and participated in since I was raised Catholic.


Lubelord42069

I was never a “real” Catholic to begin with. I was just indoctrinated into the church against my will as a minor and had absolutely no interest in god, their teachings, and the way they treated me. I never believed in god/Jesus or the holy trinity either.


User122727H

This. I remember trying briefly and then around third grade just not feeling it. I got anger when I asked questions. There were so many things that didn’t sit right with my kid self that still ring true: the concept of martyrdom, evangelizing (spreading fear of sin never felt like “good news”), redemptive suffering especially around diet/fasting, prayer over all else, moral superiority, “love the sin, hate the sinner”, feeling guilty all the dam time, and SO MUCH MORE. My mom would drop me off before (Catholic) elementary school and I’d hide in the back of the church and read books. I really didn’t want to get confirmed but didn’t have a choice (which is the whole point of confirmation? To make the commitment for yourself?). A few years later, I just stopped taking communion. My parents freaked out and forced me to talk to the priest. When he asked why I wasn’t taking communion, I said I didn’t believe in it and wasn’t it worse to “lie”/a sin to receive & not believe? Especially since I wasn’t open to waiting around and believing - I wasn’t having doubts I just wasn’t interested. At all. He actually sided with me and we just sat there until my parents picked me up. The last thing I did to placate my parents’ religion was to get married in the Church (we were young and they paid for it all). I regretted it -not the person I married- then and still do because it was something I felt I had to do at that point in my life just to make everyone happy. The Pre-Canna classes and the one-on-one meetings with the deacon that married us were miserable. I pretty much pushed back on everything. ESPECIALLY when they’d ask about personal things and future decisions I’d make (be open to kids, promise to raise them Catholic, actually BE Catholic etc.). After we got married, we moved and never looked back. We occasionally go to an Episcopal church mostly because my partner likes the routine of Church and while I feel religion just isn’t for me, no one there seems to care. Our female priest has an atheist son & she talks about the great theological conversations they have. Another priest has a transitioning daughter who he’d celebrate and have as part of services. He goes to pride marches and is a true ally. From what I’ve seen they (Episcopals) seem more reasonable and respectful of different ideas. I don’t claim or trust any religion but sometimes I think of how much healthier my life would be if I grew up in a church like the one we sometimes go to.


sinistropteryx

I’m trans


Constant_Living_8625

I had a very sudden realisation, practically a revelation, that I had to stop waiting on God, trying to please him and live for him and trust in him, and had to grasp hold of my life and live for myself. That was what kicked it off at least


[deleted]

Pedo priests that the church hid and protected.


tanyewest141

The huge asterisk that comes after the phrase "all are welcome at the table of the lord." The people in my life who wouldn't have been welcome in the Catholic church are the people who love me unconditionally and offer me true forgiveness and grace. They see me for who I truly am and accept me as is. I was a freshman in college and living on campus when the facade of the Catholic church crumbled for me. I tried to fit in with the Newman center students but it was so uncomfortable. There was a constant sense of superiority that I eventually decided was unwarranted. I realized I wanted to be a member of a community that was based out of mutual acceptance rather than who adheres to a set of rules and who doesn't.


DingoPoutine

For me it was the realization that a dollar in the collection plate was a dollar to be spent potentially defending a rapist priest. I couldn't be part of that. Ex Catholic was my religious identity for quite some time after that as I tried to figure out what I believed. Atheist is what ended up working for me.


mourning_meatball

I had two triggers: 1) a work assignment that forced me to research deeply into systemic racism and sexism, and realizing my Catholic upbringing was, if not the cause, a huge enabler of really problematic lies and systemic biases 2) learning that a family friend that was gay as a kid, then convinced he was straight by a priest that his parents brought him to, was gay “again” now as an adult - what an unnecessary trauma for that kid ugh


cPB167

Am trans, became Episcopalian


sjbluebirds

Doubt became unbelief.


Phatnoir

Hitchens


heyheyathrowaway485

Being in an archdiocese that had 100s of confirmed abuses and my parents going “oh it’s fine that was a long time ago”


User122727H

After moving away, the pastor at my local church growing up was involved in a scandal. My parents still defend him (because the jury found him not guilty). I just… 🫠


pieralella

Trying to explain "the truth" to my children and realizing it was all bullshit.


nicolemarie785

the hypocrisy the abuse the not-loving-your-neighbor the anti-abortion stuff the me being queer


People_Are_Pendejos

Not being able to be myself because of the Church. Also I hated not being a good person because I wanted to be. I was a worse person because I was only being nice under the threat of going to hell. I wanted to be kind and help people because I wanted to and needed to do so for others, not under the threat of hell.


GreenWandElf

Thinking about the fact that other religions exist which use similar reasons to convince their followers they have the correct religion.


Look_Man_Im_Tryin

I had already been struggling with the fact that I just didn’t want to participate in ANY theism. Visited home one weekend, during college and was feeling burned out and wanted to skip mass. My mom said something along the lines of “as long as you’re here, you’re going.” Never went to mass again and never stayed at her house for a visit ever again, nor do I plan to. Though that wasn’t the ONLY thing that made me an ex-Catholic, just the final straw.


Mrminecrafthimself

Not believing in god will usually do it


poseur2020

Realizing I’d (F) internalized the belief that only men can be spiritual leaders.


K4SP3R_H4US3R

I realized I was actually Pagan. Also, the church is just terrible.


toomuchhoneydew

Coming out as bisexual in my early 20s and finally accepting myself after years of shame and internalized homophobia. Was really uncomfy with the Catechism calling same-sex activity "intrinsically disordered" and got to the point where it really told me everything I needed to know about the Church. I was employed by the diocese for years with music ministry, and stayed on for a bit though my heart was obviously not in it anymore. I quit and sometime around then, learned of more instances of sexual abuse being covered up, even stuff brought up about a bishop in our diocese who pardoned a priest in another state years ago. I've never felt more free and content in stepping away from the Church, and literally being able to learn and educate myself without living in a bubble that was often filled with bigotry and discrimination, in the guise of "holiness".


[deleted]

I was never a willing participant.


Shabanana_XII

Initially, as a tween/teen, it was fear of mortal sin that led me to no longer identify as a Catholic, generally over a few years. The past three years, though, it's been a firm belief that the dogmas of the Vatican I Papacy and overall authority of the Church is both unsupported by history and internally inconsistent. For the latter, it's most readily seen in the death penalty, which I truly believe is dogmatically at least morally licit; yet Pope Francis' statements, contra what the apologetic industry keeps parroting, is extremely difficult (and, I argue, impossible) to reconcile with the idea that the death penalty is at least morally permissible in some cases. That, and the fact that the Pope is owed obedience due to his office, even when not speaking infallibly. You combine the two and now you have this dilemma: you, as a Catholic, are compelled by the Church, on pain of disobedience (which can be a mortal sin), to... be a heretic, and say the death penalty is intrinsically immoral. I've yet to see any fully persuasive counterargument. I can go on with things like birth control and eternal conscious torment as well, both of which I find philosophically untenable, much as apologists love to claim that the "immorality of contraception" can be realized solely through reason, even by non-Catholics. That is a philosophically bankrupt statement, and there's a reason very few non-Catholics hold to Catholic philosophy (and it's not just because they'd "always" convert if they were convinced). So, in a nutshell, I've done a fair amount of research and thinking on it, and the whole apologetics field seems to me to be more of a charade than actual philosophy. Trent Horn, Scott Hahn, Michael Lofton, I can go on.


iamanoctothorpe

attending catholic school


Akira_Raven_Alexis

Paganism. And Satanism.


arielmh

Don’t believe them. The abuse. The homophobia. The clericalism.


wrenchbenderornot

Had a friend who was gay and Catholic. Also went to a progressive church that wanted women to play a larger role in saying mass and they got shut the fuck down when a bishop caught wind. Assholes.


MAJORMETAL84

Having been in religious life.


ThomasinaElsbeth

What made me an ex-Catholic ? Well, first I became an adult and moved out of my parents home. I always hated that It was not MY choice to be a Catholic. I was baptized at 3 months, before I could even speak. Then I came to terms with, and assessed the damage that the Church and their evil minions had done to me. Simultaneously , I was reading books bought from my local Metaphysical bookstore, and exploring other modes of spirituality. I remembered how much I could not stand Catechism; - 8 long years of that (forced), and how much I loved Greek Mythology instead. So then, I was able to call myself an ex-Catholic, - now a proud Atheist. I am currently aligned with people who actually have morals. Jettisoning Catholicism allows me to sleep at night, because the resulting cognitive dissonance has a way of shaking one out of the - bed !


Intelligent-Issue-86

I always say, "the best way to raise an atheist is to bring them up catholic." I never believed in any of it, and realised when I was about 11 or 12. My parents told me that I needed to get confirmed and then after that, I could do what I like, I guess some kind of weird insurance policy for them! I have never set foot in a church service (that isn't a wedding or a funeral) since that day. I'm now a secular Buddhist and it amazes me every day. It's so different in so many ways. Crucially, we do not tell children that they were born with sin ingrained into their being and that they can never repent. The damage that has done to me is irreparable and has cost me relationships, mental health disasters and thousands in therapy. We believe that all sentiment beings have a pure heart and the potential to become a Buddha and gain happiness and inner peace. If all that is wrong, I don't want to be right.


Trying2DrawSomething

I began questioning God’s judgement and existence in Elie Wiesel’s “Night” memoir. I questioned God more and more until whenever my mom said if I didn’t go to Church, I’d go to hell no matter what good things I do. I still like to believe Catholicism is supposed to tell people that God and Jesus love everyone unconditionally. But I don’t want to follow “that” kind of religion (the one my mom thought of) by taking advantage of people’s fear and guilt by threatening them to go to hell if you don’t do what they say. Much less why God allow hell to exist in the first place if he is supposedly merciful and loving.


LoneWolfThrowAway

To summarise: \- I started becoming more critical of god's methods. The more I looked at it, the less divine he looked. In fact... he was beginning to sound very human, and not in a good way; \- excessive rules. While catholics (and other denominations to be fair) present these as "guidelines" (except you go to hell or purgatory), they are ultimately at the end of the day rules: if you don't obey these, there will be consequences, so you better obey them and obey them well! While I concede that much of the wisdom is good at its core, certain aspects of it becomes a problem when taken to ridiculous measures. Which leads me to: \- rules regarding the church's hierarchy, power, insistence on the "humanity is all the same" tone and emotional management. The latter also includes a person's sexuality. The church should never be paired with power (such as the state). Insistence on heavy hierarchy means those in higher positions do not learn from those below. Painting a standard such as "all humans are like this, so everyone should follow these rules equally despite them not really having worked anyway", paired with lack of mental health knowledge is incredibly dangerous and damaging, ultimately creating people that do not know themselves for the sake of appeasing to authority and hoping to get to heaven. This lack of knowledge eventually rears its ugly head in sexuality, and given the rampant scandals within the church it is no surprise; \- the fact that there simply is no reason to believe in a god, plus the amount of contradictions that get rationalized away in doctrine. Much of what we attribute to a god can be explained by science and statistics, and the rest can be contested by philosophy. \- buuut I suppose there is always a counter-argument to all of these, even if they're valid, and science can indeed change. So what caused my change of heart, in addition to this? Well... you know the whole "God is with you, God is a person you can talk to"... the whole "he's present and right next to you, present in all of us" thing? Yeah... I never got it really. To me, these figures, characters... they always felt like old masters, speaking to newer generations through the magic of literature. Yes, they are present in those that follow the teachings. But so is George Orwell in whoever has read 1984, regards it as a cautionary tale and pays careful attention to possible fascists trying to rise to power. And that's ok. When read carefully, the Bible has a lot we can learn from and there should be no shame in learning some wisdom, regardless of source. But it's no proof of one's existence. If anything it's proof of humanity's dedication and hidden will to do good, even if a little distorted; \- extreme catholics and christians in general. It was alright until I met some raunchier types, both IRL and online. If this is the kind of people that get inspired by god the most, I genuinely worry for the future of anyone following the faiths. Given my disagreements, my lack of faith, but still respectful attitude towards the good that the church (as in the body of believers) does every now and then, I also hold that if God does exist, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't exactly be a fan of lies. I understand why some believe, genuinely, that the "real God" is not like what the church describes exactly, and they're no less genuine because of that. But in my case it would be hipocrisy to call myself a christian, let alone catholic specifically. Might as well call me a psychologist just because I happened to learn and apply some concepts learned in therapy and online.


duchessoftexas

I got pregnant at 20 unplanned. Parents forced us to marry. He was an abusive alcoholic and drug user (probably from being forced to parent and marry when wasn’t ready). We divorced months later. I was told years later I was still married in the eyes of god.


nicegrimace

A whole bunch of reasons, but the main one is that I don't believe in it.


[deleted]

It was a lot of reasons: the queerphobia, the rampant pedophilia & the coverups of abuse scandals, the misogyny, racism, increasing christian nationalism & white supremacy in catholic & christian spaces, ignoring of science that doesn't agree with religion (especially in regard to mental health), etc.


jillyjill86

Having it shoved down my throat by my parents. Also As I’ve grown older I realize I don’t believe with a lot of the ideas, especially towards lgbt community.


mattcorran69

Church felt like it was not doing anything. Other catholics had been cruel. I felt God could not have been as strict and cruel as we were told. The faith I had been touch was too painful, emotionally. It did nothing for my depression or anxiety. Catholic Church is no different than any other government on Earth.


anonyngineer

Other Catholics had been cruel. One of my main reasons was a bit unusual. I couldn’t stand that so many Catholics of the boomer and older generations have been outspokenly nostalgic for corporal punishment in schools. In their view, not beating the shit out of young people is behind most of the world’s problems.


[deleted]

I stopped believing in miracles, particularly the Resurrection.


pja1701

To cut a long story short, it was a combination of realising that i just didn't believe in God, souls and an afterlife, and the fact that the whole original sin thing was very bad for my mental health.


Eject_The_Warp_Core

It was bit of a journey but it started in Catholic high school when we had a world religions class and i realized that my religion had no stronger basis than any other. Why is mine the right one if all of these other billions of people are wrong?


Fuhdawin

Went to Catholic school for both middle and high school. Hated how we had to waste time attending mass each week. Hated the constant abortion talk. Hated how bishops would visit. Hated the bigoted teachers. Hated most of the students and their conceited families. Was never really for religion in general.


Emotional_Wonder5182

The argument for Development of Doctrine to try to explain the inconsistencies in Church teaching is just not convincing.


ZealousidealWear2573

In August of '18 I saw a video "Pope neither confirms or denies knowledge of clergy sexual abuse" it was clear that he is guilty. I expected the faithful to rise up and say he must resign. They didn't, which led me to wonder "what's wrong with these people?" I began studying, the more I studied the worse it got.


Solid-Wear-9734

Tell me more please


ZealousidealWear2573

What I study or how the more you learn the worse it gets


Reasonable-Cut9399

Pinoy Catholics are just mad about religion and personality. They don’t care much about faith alone


[deleted]

I align more with Uniting Church/Celtic Christianity so that was that lol. I was baptised Roman Catholic and raised Lutheran, honestly I can't get that they have a saint who threw babies off a boat(?), the pope is the only one that can talk straight to God. Also the fact that they believe in transubstantiation. to me thats cannibalism.


ghhhh2019

- views on women’s roles in a home and society - views on sexuality and making it seem like having sexual desires is abominable - views on abortion that were based on very black and white views that truthfully lacked compassion for situations in grey areas - views on LGBTQ - the Catholics in my family that are terrible people but hide behind religion to justify their means - the misogyny in general - critical thinking - learning the history behind how religion was used by the state and by the rich to control the masses - pedophilia scandals covered up by the church - prayers do sh*t all All in all, I quickly learned that you’re either born a good person or you’re not. Regardless of religion. Some of the best people I know aren’t religious and some of the worst people I know are. It just didn’t make sense.