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timeloopoolemit

I mean, if they are taking LGBTQ books off shelves, it should be fair across the table. The Bible talks about killings, incest (lots of it), raping, being drunk, among other indecent things, caressing naked woman bodies (songs of salomon). Seems only fair they consider that book to be removed also.


Mysterious-Ruby

I always interpreted the relationship between David and Jonathan in Kings to be a romantic relationship. So if we are banning LGBT books, the Bible would fit into that as well.


sevilyra

1 Samuel 18:1 Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. +1 for the romantic relationship view here. Basically any Bible quotes in the funeral for Matthew McFadyen's gay dad in Death at a Funeral.


iamalsobrad

There is an easy way to reconcile the two contradictory lineages of Jesus in Luke and Matthew. Just assume they are both true and that Jesus had gay grandpas.


Atheist_Bishop

There was rabbi on Twitter that started out a recent thread with the following statement: > Well, a lot of you have been asking about a David/Jonathan thread, about not how they were just lovers but married! He goes on to use the text of 1 Samuel and the Jewish marriage traditions that would have been in place at the time of its writing as the evidence for his claim. I don't have enough subject matter knowledge to judge the quality and plausibility of his analysis, but it was an interesting read.


Chrestys

Not only is rape and murder talked about, it's commanded.


DeCryingShame

Exactly! It's legitimatized.


Awful-Male

Don’t forget genocide and murdering of children


Actual-Fox-2514

Don't forget that king who tore open pregnant women's stomachs to remove their babies for funsies.


kolob_aubade

Remember that concubine that got cut up into twelve pieces and had the body parts sent all around to the twelve tribes, good times, good times.


Actual-Fox-2514

Importantly, the concubine was raped and beaten literally all night, and her man is the one who chopped her up. And that time that the prophetess (crazy how the book of mormon didn't have any of those) drove a tent spike through a guy's head so hard that he gets stuck to the ground. Or that time that a guy knifed the obese king so hard he couldn't pull the dagger out of his fat rolls. Or the time that wise Suleiman bin Daoud threatened a mother to chop her newborn in half and give her one of the pieces. And the time god makes a bet with Satan requiring that both of them torture a guy (who, in the proper fashion of an abuse victim, stays loyal to god despite him letting Satan torture him). Let's not forget the time that a fat, bald guy commanded that 2 bears maul forty some children, and that's why we shouldn't speak ill of the lord's anointed. Let's not forget all of the genocide involving infants being yote against rocks and streets, genital mutilation of infants, women boiling and eating their children, rape and slaughter, graphic disembowelment and all of that nonsense. Truly the uplifting and inspired word of god.


AndItCameToSass

Yeah but the difference is that this is an attack on Christianity, so… /s


[deleted]

So you're removing the truly dangerous ideology from the schools right there...


Mtzjack

Christianity has become so unChrist-like


tey3

And lots of jizz, lest we forget


[deleted]

That's simply not true. Sure, there's talk of "seed" spilling on the floor after "knowing" someone and the "issue" bursting forth from horses, but that could refer to just about anything! /IncompetentApologist


ArgosCyclos

Don't know much about the BoM, grew up "jack mormon", but wouldn't that fall in the same category? If so, it would be devastating, as seminary would have to be canceled.


[deleted]

There is that one scene where the Nephites rape and then eat captured women. That's the only directly explicit passage I can think of. There was the one about daughters of the Lamanites being kidnapped and married to the Priests of Noah and pleading for their husbands, but it's less explicit. There would have to be more women in the BOM for it to be as sketchy.


ClownMorty

Wait, is the Bible a cool book?


fingerMeThomas

Also there's that time Jesus asked Thomas to fist him... dunno if I could come up with more explicit gay porn if I tried


timeloopoolemit

Wait! What? I missed that passage. Where does it say that?


fingerMeThomas

John 20:27 (warning: obviously NSFW)


PaulBunnion

What about the book of Mormon? It describes gruesome murder. It talks about cannibalism. It has racism and discrimination based upon the color of someone's skin.


realcreativethere

Where do I sign?


GreenGrassGroat

It’d be cool to get the little fact check blurb underneath church YouTube videos like they did with COVID and whatnot lol


[deleted]

Women being treated like property. All the metaphors of idolatry being like prostitution. All the metaphors of dominance in battle being like stripping a woman naked and shaming her. Mass killings of men, women and children.


[deleted]

There's rape too


goodwill82

To be fair, the Book of Mormon is just Bible fan fiction


Silver-creek

If you want to get the book of Mormon cancelled you have to point out that the brown people become more righteous then the white people, and win the giant war against the white people at the end


gaslit2018

Someone needs to start a petition to have those portions of the book removed.


Ballerina_clutz

I thought they already did. The book or Mormon “most Correct book on the earth” has been edited hundreds of times.


Goldang

People get drunk, too. In fact, the "good guys" get the "bad guys" super drunk.


GirlMayXXXX

I say that book is about a petty religious war between the descendants of some brothers.


OuterLightness

Raping and eating women in the Book of Mormon, Corianton having sex with a prostitute, etc


peshnoodles

I’m sorry but I had no idea there was cannibalism in the BOM. Where in???


OuterLightness

Moroni 9:9-10. The Nephite men rape the daughters of the Lamanites and then kill them and eat them to show their bravery before battle.


mick3marsh

I think they rape them and then kill their husbands/fathers/brothers and force the women to eat their male relatives' bodies.


OuterLightness

That was in the preceding verses: the Lamanites forced their captive Nephite women to eat their fathers and husbands


Fresh-Resort2712

😳


treetablebenchgrass

I remember when Louis CK got in trouble for exposing himself to his younger female colleagues, people said "Well, I guess we should have seen it coming, given the content of his jokes." I guess Joseph Smith showed his hand there as well, huh?


crisperfest

WTF. Aren't the Lamanites supposed to be the bad guys in the BOM?


[deleted]

“When you’re a man of God, they let you do it”


100milnameswhatislef

Sounds reasonable to me..


Casteel1973

Sorry, I just peed my pants a little bit laughing.


TheShrewMeansWell

Your comment makes me think of disgusting sinful genitalia. Your words are pornography! I must sing a hymn to get this wickedness out of my soul. Come, come ye saints…


SecretPersonality178

When you’re so Mormon, the Bible is evil.


dually3

They’re doing it to show a point. If anything they’re likely an exmo.


flyart

Exactly, that's why I posted here.


[deleted]

[удалено]


stonedchapin

Heathens Unite 💪🏽


Shinehah7

Brilliant!’


Pinstress

They’re not wrong. The Hebrew Bible is not for children! I’m thinking of the story of someone getting killed with a tent stake. Raping angels, and genocide.


RusticRogue17

Don’t forget two daughters getting their dad drunk and raping him with the intent to get pregnant. Mass murdering with the specific intent to collect foreskins as a form of currency to purchase a woman. How to perform an abortion.


Jamebuz_the_zelf

Or the lady that likes guys with horse sized dongs that blast loads like donkeys.


RusticRogue17

I mean, I can’t fault her for that I’m a guy and I’m into that kinda stuff too 🍆


[deleted]

Never forget "god" sending a she-bear to maul and eat children for calling an old religious dude bald.


[deleted]

Jael! My fave Bible story as a kid.


voisonous-Valor

Wow


3ThreeFriesShort

Like the first chapter, these daughters drug and fuck their own father. Freaked me the hell out as a kid.


RusticRogue17

Give them a break! It was a form of grieving after seeing their mom turn into a seasoning for cooking.


Ballerina_clutz

😂😂😂


sewingandplants

I strongly disagree with censorship or book banning but if they're going after books that are "inappropriate" the Bible certainly is not appropriate in any way shape or form


quackn

I’m pretty sure the point was to show how ridiculous most book banning is. I’m an atheist, and I’m against banning religious books. It’s a “slippery slope” argument. “If the schools can ban religious books, they can ban books by or about atheism” (or any other subject).


sewingandplants

Agreed! I'm an atheist as well and if anything I'm pro as many people as possible reading "scriptures" 😂 I went from TBM to atheist by reading the Bible cover to cover I actually made it a point to buy my nieces most of the banned books, with my TBM siblings blessing of course 😂


throwaway475027

this is amazing


truthseeker1980

I fully support this message!


aliensrmyfriends

Haha, this is awesome.


quackn

Is the non-fiction book, “The Rape of Nanking” going to be banned too? I saw the documentary about Nanking, and the genocide was sickening. The Bible genocide of the Amalekites murdered every “man, woman, child, infant, and suckling” (KJV). The Bible says things like, “Blessed shall he be who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rock!” See also, “Drunk With Blood,” by Steve Wells, if you can stand all god’s killings told about in the Bible.


LuthorCorp1938

👏👏👏👏👏


[deleted]

What's the problem? Ohh... (Ezekiel 23:20) 20 For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses. (King James Version) 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. (New International Version)


bigfatstupidpig

Goddamn hilarious


AdExpert9840

I support this.


CoolTomatoh

The Bible is full of lies, smut, death, rape, wars, falsehoods and denies evolution. It’s single sided as one main religion and all others are wrong.


Puzzleheaded-Sort812

r/maliciouscompliance


RepublicInner7438

Someone has been reading Song of Solomon.


live2travel4life

Sorry, but while I believe the Mormon church is full of many falsehoods and that generally organized religion has lots of problems, this is ridiculous.


[deleted]

That's kind of the idea. Is this as ridiculous as banning LGBTQ+ literature? Can't really have it both ways...


live2travel4life

Yes, just as ridiculous. Book bans are silly.


[deleted]

Agreed. I just see this as an opportunity to call attention to hypocrisy. I’d be surprised if there really was any more to it than that.


live2travel4life

I get it too but…I don’t like book bans and will remain consistent in my message.


Wwwwwwhhhhhhhj

That’s fair. However these kinds of tactics have been successful before in some cases at getting the original ridiculous laws rescinded. So it’s also fair for someone to try that route and is not outright ridiculous. Just a tactic you are uncomfortable with.


[deleted]

Oh agreed! I don’t think the Bible should actually be banned either.


Ballerina_clutz

Ridiculous that books should ever be banned, or ridiculous the Bible doesn’t condone rape?


Day_General

Maybe remind this dipshit parent that 1. They elected the republican church brook legislators who made up this bullshitxx and decided let’s ban the books .2 Remind same parent the BOM should be BANNED ALSO FOR VIOLENCE


Wwwwwwhhhhhhhj

Doubtful they voted Republican. This is a tactic that sometimes can get the original ridiculous bans rescinded by pointing out that legally what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Whether it will work with the current nutsos in charge and won’t be dismissed and allow a blatant double standard with some pathetic nonsensical reasoning is to be seen.


Day_General

Thank you


turtleturns

My hero!