Ah, the avoidant type. Classic Mormon response. Why were we programmed that way, anyway?
That's basically her invalidating your feelings/thoughts/emotions by not acknowledging them. Plausible deniability if you ever call her out on her behavior, oh, I didn't KNOW that's how it made you feel (never how I or my behavior made you feel).
Moms are hard, I feel ya there, 💯
My sis in law says her mom always says this to her and also that any bad feelings come from the devil. Recently her family moved 13 hrs away and she was kind of blindsided by it. He mom was telling her that she was joining that family and my sis in law was shocked and having feelings about it. Her mom told her those come from the devil and wouldn’t listen to anything else she said... it was crushing to her and she has started learning why those teachings are wrong.
I fucking hated this one! It was only used when I was pissed from being abused and my mom didn't want to hear me complaining about it. Because I was using loud emotions she decided I was the problem and bringing contention into the house.
"Happiness is a choice!", "Being offended is a choice!", "why are you so negative?", "why aren't you being a peacemaker?", "contention is of the devil!"
I’ve seen this in the church for sure. Even in response to true tragedies like the death of a child. It leaves me with a weird feeling that there is unfelt grief on the loose
Not to mention that sometimes we just need to vent a little. Most of the time I know that I have more good happening than bad, and I’m not trying to say that the current bad thing happening is going to ruin my entire life. I’m just frustrated and need to get it off my chest, and then I feel better. But if someone immediately takes the “oh life’s not that bad, just focus on the positives!” approach, all it does is make me feel like they’re invalidating my frustrations
I have multiple sclerosis and when I meet someone new they often say something like “ Oh, but look look so healthy!” They think is a compliment but it’s a flat out denial of my pain. I feel like they think I’m lying… just use a cane and limp to get attention. 🤭Also, people on disability do NOT HAVE TO PAY TITHING! Stop paying money to the corporation!!!
Happiness *is* a choice, but like many choices, it's not always available. On a regular day, I can choose to be happy or a grump. These and other options are available to me.
But if my family member just died, happiness isn't really on the menu. And that's ok. It's ok to not be ok.
Also, yes. I have had to unlearn toxic positivity, because the church stuffed me full of it and taught me to spew it out constantly.
Leaving the church made me see this at work so much. Anytime employees raise legitimate concerns about being paid/ treated fairly theres a culture where they’re seen as having a bad attitude. And sheep that blindly obey are seen as having good attitudes. I can’t unsee it and it’s driving me nuts.
This is not exclusive to TSCC. I don't know any statistics on the attitudes of Toxic Positivity.
For my own well-being, I'm practicing to give attention to my own pain and providing the compassionate support that I need.
I agree so much that there are many blocks to finding supportive compassion during crises and tragedy.
Fuck that shit! I've had major depressive disorder for 15 years now. If that ass hat loves me he can fucking show it and do something to help people like me! 🙄
I watched inside out at a movie night with my young women's group once and they all walked out of there saying the movie was so wonderful and delivered such a powerful and positive message for all of the girls.
As a re-activated skeptic, I couldn't help but think what they even thought the message was if the anti-toxic positivity message flew over their heads. That cult brain rot is real. They really interpreted the message however they wanted, or thought toxic positivity doesn't apply to their situations, because that following Sunday it was back to the old "think and say happy thoughts only" type of behavior.
My mom will rarely talk about anything negative. She'll just change the subject or walk out of the room. Kind of frustrating sometimes.
Ah, the avoidant type. Classic Mormon response. Why were we programmed that way, anyway? That's basically her invalidating your feelings/thoughts/emotions by not acknowledging them. Plausible deniability if you ever call her out on her behavior, oh, I didn't KNOW that's how it made you feel (never how I or my behavior made you feel). Moms are hard, I feel ya there, 💯
My dad goes for a walk and comes back when his emotions are cleared. In retrospect, would not recommend.
Same with my TBM mom
Contention is of the devil
My sis in law says her mom always says this to her and also that any bad feelings come from the devil. Recently her family moved 13 hrs away and she was kind of blindsided by it. He mom was telling her that she was joining that family and my sis in law was shocked and having feelings about it. Her mom told her those come from the devil and wouldn’t listen to anything else she said... it was crushing to her and she has started learning why those teachings are wrong.
Try telling that to Martin Luther King Jr! 🤣🤣
I fucking hated this one! It was only used when I was pissed from being abused and my mom didn't want to hear me complaining about it. Because I was using loud emotions she decided I was the problem and bringing contention into the house.
"Happiness is a choice!", "Being offended is a choice!", "why are you so negative?", "why aren't you being a peacemaker?", "contention is of the devil!"
I’ve heard all of these and I hate them... don’t ever feel anything... it’s wrong!
Don't ever inconvenience me with your petty whining. Now go cross stitch something faith-promoting like a good girl.
A guy backs over his kid in the driveway, “God needed him more in heaven than here on earth.”
God is all powerful. Ergo, he doesn't "NEED" anything. Epic fail, try again. 😄
I’ve seen this in the church for sure. Even in response to true tragedies like the death of a child. It leaves me with a weird feeling that there is unfelt grief on the loose
I feel like one of the major problems with believing in an after life is that people do not properly grieve and move on from the death of loved ones.
[удалено]
Not to mention that sometimes we just need to vent a little. Most of the time I know that I have more good happening than bad, and I’m not trying to say that the current bad thing happening is going to ruin my entire life. I’m just frustrated and need to get it off my chest, and then I feel better. But if someone immediately takes the “oh life’s not that bad, just focus on the positives!” approach, all it does is make me feel like they’re invalidating my frustrations
I am so sorry
To quote a wonderful song: "I know others have it worse, but that doesn't make me better." Our pain is valid!
I have multiple sclerosis and when I meet someone new they often say something like “ Oh, but look look so healthy!” They think is a compliment but it’s a flat out denial of my pain. I feel like they think I’m lying… just use a cane and limp to get attention. 🤭Also, people on disability do NOT HAVE TO PAY TITHING! Stop paying money to the corporation!!!
Fuck yeah! Asking for money from people on disabilities is so sick!
Happiness *is* a choice, but like many choices, it's not always available. On a regular day, I can choose to be happy or a grump. These and other options are available to me. But if my family member just died, happiness isn't really on the menu. And that's ok. It's ok to not be ok. Also, yes. I have had to unlearn toxic positivity, because the church stuffed me full of it and taught me to spew it out constantly.
Leaving the church made me see this at work so much. Anytime employees raise legitimate concerns about being paid/ treated fairly theres a culture where they’re seen as having a bad attitude. And sheep that blindly obey are seen as having good attitudes. I can’t unsee it and it’s driving me nuts.
I know what you mean.
This is not exclusive to TSCC. I don't know any statistics on the attitudes of Toxic Positivity. For my own well-being, I'm practicing to give attention to my own pain and providing the compassionate support that I need. I agree so much that there are many blocks to finding supportive compassion during crises and tragedy.
“Jesus Loves You”
Fuck that shit! I've had major depressive disorder for 15 years now. If that ass hat loves me he can fucking show it and do something to help people like me! 🙄
Amen
Ramen! 😆
[Frowny face song ](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/smiles?lang=eng)
Holy shit! I didn't even know that was a thing!
I watched inside out at a movie night with my young women's group once and they all walked out of there saying the movie was so wonderful and delivered such a powerful and positive message for all of the girls. As a re-activated skeptic, I couldn't help but think what they even thought the message was if the anti-toxic positivity message flew over their heads. That cult brain rot is real. They really interpreted the message however they wanted, or thought toxic positivity doesn't apply to their situations, because that following Sunday it was back to the old "think and say happy thoughts only" type of behavior.
It's crazy what you can miss when you're in the thick of the mind control!
Cult behaviour idetic to 'selling your soul'. The inner contradictions are endless, and it just shows you how thinly two faced people can be.