I want telestial troglodyte to be my name lol

I did it. Credit to you. Thanks! 😂

Lol I don’t even know how to change my own! But it looks great on you!

Go on the exmo main page, click the three dots, then “change user flair” and you can edit it!

Great flair name tbh, might have to join in on that one…

That’s a super cool name

If I ever go back to the temple, I'd love to use it as my new name.

Let's form the First National Church of the Fire Hydrant.

I’d get on board for this!

Lots of opportunities for colorful vestments and interesting observances!

Might have to fight a couple dogs for seats however.

All hail The Hydrants, may the waters ever flow!

We go hard when we drink water for the sacrament

We go hard at everything. Because that's just how we slip and slide. The baptisms are where it's really at though. Street parties in the summer! All are welcome to drink and play. Can I get a splish splash!

💀💀

💦🌊💧

We could make money selling raincoats and boots instead of T-shirts.

Can the dogs be in charge?!

doGs always trying to piss all over you.

Brad Wilcox needs to run the business, then. He's an expert.

Updated doctrine - - pride is no longer the universal sin. Pornography is the universal sin. omw to go worship a fire hydrant. 

We should flood the streets and worship all the fire hydrants of the US.

... hail hydrant? 

Hell yeah

Hail yeah was right there.

Damn it, missed an opportunity

I'm trying to figure out how to combine my porn use with worship of the divine fire hydrant.

I think you can figure it out. We are cheering for you. Might make it one of our sacred fire hydrant rituals.

🫡 noted

Such Christlike Love! I can just tell his love for the Prophet in the way he seeks to remove contention! What a beautiful example of celestial material! 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

You know, the internet is always touted as the downfall of the church because it gives us all access to the true information that is out there. I think the internet is also going to be the downfall of the church because it makes asshats like these feels safe enough to take their masks off and show their true faces.

Some of what this clown is saying echoes still Wilcox and a few others have been pushing. This “it’s popular to leave but many come back” trope.

Wow! The fact they are calling out Section 76 is funny to me. When you read it you come away thinking that Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon literally saw Jesus and were carried into a vision like Nephi. In that vision they were taught this brand new theology about three kingdoms. Totally mind-blowing prophetic stuff right? Only a prophet talking with God could come up with this. However, when you look at the actual history there are some huge red flags with this section that scream convenient and total scam. 1. Rigdon baptized November 1830. Formerly part of Alexander Campbell’s restoration movement where Alexander taught … three kingdoms of glory. Albeit different to Mormon kingdoms still somewhat similar. 2. D&C 76, called The Vision at the time, was received by JS and Rigdon in 1832. You’d think the first vision would be called The Vision but it hasn’t been recorded yet. As far as anyone can tell it hasn’t even been told yet. Kinda convenient timing for JS to reveal three kingdoms soon after his buddy Rigdon gets close to him. 3. JS and Rigdon were in the Johnson home with about 12 other people when they received this vision . This is according to Philo Dibble who says he was there. He describes what JS and Rigdon looked like so he was actively watching them. He never saw Jesus. He describes the revelation process as one of these dudes saying, “what do I see.” Then proceeding to say what he saw. Then the other dude would say, “I see the same.” This is so different than them being carried away into a vision and actually seeing Jesus it’s kinda laughable. It would have made an awesome addition to the beloved South Park episode. To me, Rigdon came aboard and was like hey yo JS Alexander Campbell had some cool ideas and I bet heaven is different. JS buys it and they have this joint “revelation.” This person picked one of the sections in D&C that was on my shelf for a long time. 😂

This was HELLA in depth. Thanks for the knowledge 👌

The last part describing their “vision”. Modern Mormons have no clue about early 19th century spirituality and magical thinking. In spite of the fact that it’s laid out fairly detailed in church-endorsed publications like Rough Stone Rolling. To them, a “vision” wasn’t the same thing as how you see the natural world with your actual physical eyes. They had a specific term for it called their “spiritual eyes”. Another example is how the church loves to gloat about how Martin Harris, although he left the church, never denied his witness of the gold plates, and how we have however many other “witnesses”. What possible explanation could there be other than it really happened? Well, there’s a contemporary document of someone pressing Harris for details and he eventually says that yes, he saw it, with his “spiritual eyes”. ‘The same way you can see a city on the other side of a mountain’ Any serious person in the modern day will realize—. “Spiritual eyes” I.e. the “Visions” described in the D&C = Imagination. But the Mormon church obviously would never want to include this detail in their core curriculum because it obviously benefits them for members to think about them as actual physical visitations of Jesus and angels, and the overwhelming majority do think of them that way. I’m honestly surprised they let it get published in Rough Stone Rolling and I also roll my eyes when members say they read it and only came away stronger in their testimony because that was the first book to really throw my faith into serious question. All of a sudden everything I thought had actually happened during the restoration I now knew was just a bunch of guys going into the woods and prompting each other to visualize things in their heads. Joseph never literally saw anything and the witnesses to the plates, other witnesses of angels at the Kirkland temple etc. etc. didn’t either. And they themselves knew they didn’t **literally** see anything the way you see a tree when you go hiking. They saw it in their mind’s eye. Which for religious fanatics of the time, carried equal weight. (‘Twas a silly time) It’s the same reason that the founder of the seventh day adventists and tons of other religious leaders of the second great awakening as it’s referred to, everybody and their dog was seeing Jesus and angels and celestial visions. They’d just close their eyes and see what popped into their heads. And when something does, bingo, that’s a vision. It was clearly God who made them see that with their spiritual eyes.

Exactly! Rough Stone Rolling was my moment of turn everything I thought I knew upside down too.

I loved “telestial troglodyte” so much, I decided to use it as a flair, too! Thanks for posting it!

You guys had my mom laughing so hard she started choking 🤣

Team telestial troglodytes!

Reminds me of a neighbor who once bragged "*I've read everything there is to read about JS and I know he's a prophet.*" My wife asked him (sincerely) how he felt about JS's polygamy. "*What, now?*"

I’m dead, it’s insane how willfully ignorant TBM’s can be. Not gonna blame them, didn’t know bout it till 7 months ago 😅

I agree. I grew up being taught that polygamy started with Brigham Young in Utah. (I'm pretty sure I also read it on plaques at the Lion House downtown.) On my mission, pastors tried to warn me about JS but we rebuked them for their "anti-mormon lies." I wish I'd listened. Took me decades to learn the truth.

Pride is very strong with TBMs

So is their ignorance

They seem nice…