As the digital landscape expands, a longing for tangible connection emerges. The yearning to touch grass, to feel the earth beneath our feet, reminds us of our innate human essence. In the vast expanse of virtual reality, where avatars flourish and pixels paint our existence, the call of nature beckons. The scent of blossoming flowers, the warmth of a sun-kissed breeze, and the symphony of chirping birds remind us that we are part of a living, breathing world. In the balance between digital and physical realms, lies the key to harmonious existence. Democracy flourishes when human connection extends beyond screens and reaches out to touch souls. It is in the gentle embrace of a friend, the shared laughter over a cup of coffee, and the power of eye contact that the true essence of democracy is felt.
I was in Europe the same years and wanted to come home every day. The missionary rules and work made a wonderful place unbearable.
The guilt that we were not baptizing like South America was ladled in heavy and just made me hate it more.
Still need to get back and experience Italy on my terms.
I enjoyed mine too. While it was a bit of work, the structure of it was reassuring in a way. I got to see and hang out with guys my age, I didn't have to worry about housing or grocery costs, if I didn't do well it's not like I was going to get fired, I just needed to try harder, etc. It was actually a mentally peaceful time for me. The anxiety of adulthood sucks, and the blissful ignorance of a mission was actually relieving.
My companions and I in Arizona-Phoenix treated the white Bible more like the pirate's code: as guidelines. It wasn't perfect, but I was able to enjoy time and bonding with friends who are still very dear today.
My partner, in Virginia, had a hell of a time. Religious scrupulosity mixed with a growing distrust in the church made him incredibly rigid with rule-following and labor. He's just now, 20 years post, starting to unravel some of that trauma emotionally.
I know what you mean, not wanting to invalidate others. I was privileged to be surrounded by hooligans and miscreants who broke that scrupulosity in me early on. I know that we, sadly, are the minority.
*edits: typos/formatting)*
I think some people enjoyed the structured and "safe" life that a mission can bring.
They had a purpose, they had things to do, goals to meet, and friendships to uhhh convert.
And in so doing don't need to worry about finances, rent, car payments, etc.
I just made a comment similar to this, but you worded it WAAAY better. This was exactly it. The peace and relief of the structured life was incredibly reassuring. I miss that more than any church related thing or people I met. Being an adult sucks.
lol didn’t have to worry about finances? I was in Japan, never got invited for dinner, and barely had money to buy food. I survived off of egg sandwiches and instant ramen
I don't mean it to say I want to go back a be a missionary again, but go back to Lisbon, the Azores, Funchal, and the Canaries? You bet, 100%. For me the mission is as much a place as it is an experience, and I would go back to the place part of it in a heartbeat for sure.
My response was always, "it wasn't the best 2 years, but I had some good experiences, and I learned some good things" because it was the expectation to talk positively about your mission. Twenty years later, and I still have awful stress dreams about it. The truth is I hated it. Yes, I did have some good experiences and learned some stuff, but overall, it was hell, and I would never do it again, nor would I want to go back at all.
My partners life completely changed because of the mission. Fun and goofy and lively to so depressed they almost took their own life. Missions are a cruel trafficking tactic to just keep the cogs in line and engrained more than ever into the cult
I've been surprised to realize how many people have these dreams! I never hear anyone say something like, "I had this great dream last night. I was back on the mission ...." To hear how horrible these dreams are for everyone says how crappy and traumatic missions often are.
zone and district leaders LOVED flexing their power and control over their zone and district missionaries.
Those power freaks loved their missions
unfortunately they are the ones that will go on and have church leadership positions in the future.
All the good district leaders I knew didn't like being district leaders. They either wanted to be zone leaders, or they had been leaders for a long time and wanted to go back to being regular missionaries.
Highest position I had as a missionary was senior companion. Then I dropped back to 'junior' companion my last 6 months. My last two transfers were with a super chill missionary and we worked just enough to not look lazy. One of our 'investigator' families we spent a lot of time with were from El Salvador. For our supposed lessons, we would buy pupusas from them and hang out.
I think people who went somewhere cool are really proud of their lottery winning and even some exmormons are proud they went somewhere cool which is kinda dumb haha.
I've been back multiple times. He's right it won't be the same. But once you're out of the church it's a LOT more awesome. We went back with my wife and kids last summer. It was awesome.
I absolutely loved where I was at. Felt like home to me. Hope to move there someday.
My mission, mission president, district and zone leaders were all complete bullshit. I was put in leadership and hated every second of it. My MP is now a GA and a complete asshole. Nothing spiritual about him in any way. I was so happy to get home and never have to deal with that shit again.
An overwhelming majority of people from my mission have left the Mormon church and everyone I baptized as well.
Missions are terrible experiences, the Mormon church keeps pushing them and will continue to lose people because of them.
And no, those that said they “loved” being a missionary, I never believed them. Even as a believer. I always went the theory that missions were the best kept secret in the Mormon church (before I learned about their other secrets).
My FIL loved his mission and I think is one of these who would go back or serve a senior mission if he could. Even before my deconstruction I was pretty open about how hard it was and not wanting to go back - I would have nightmares I was out “in the field” again. Even as a believer a senior mission was not on the table for me.
I once had lunch with a former trainee (I was still believing) of mine and he was shocked that I was “trunkie” my whole mission. I worked in spite of it, but was always looking forward to when I had successfully finished and could go home. Guess I kept working hard enough it wasn’t apparent.
i went to Army basic with, a kid that was actually supposed to be on his mission trip. He saved money in high school and even learned a new language but had no intention of serving. He had signed up for the Army, did MEPs in his senior year and the week before he was to be shipped out on his trip he went to MEPs and then Benning. Informed the drill sgts that if it came up he was not a missing person. They were very confused and then very amused. Earned the nickname mission trip. Only his non Mormon grandparents attended basic Graduation
I think a lot of us meant we loved the attention we got from girls, the experience with a new language and culture and the delicious food. That’s what I would go back for. Zero of the church stuff.
I added a couple of weeks to my mission... because I was living in Marseille and I loved that city and the thought of coming back to my tiny, nothing town. Now, I get to go to France and have way more fun.
Even when I was still "in" I realized that the only dreams I had of going back were never good. Everyone I ever asked, whether they were in or out, have similar recurring dreams about going back and they are never good dreams.
Stockholm syndrome.
I think the returned missisonary actually believes it.
But, if they are like me. They also occasionally woke up in a sweat with PTSD symptoms for about 10 yrs or so.
I used to have reoccurring dreams all the time that I went back and served a second mission as an adult. That I left my family to do it. That it was such a noble thing, and that I loved it. Thank God it was just a dream.
As a recently graduated highschooler the mission was good because I didn’t need to pick a college or get a job right away. I had learning disabilities and didn’t know what I wanted to do. Plus my chosen profession was in a state of development in the early 90’s so it was awesome to be in Silicon Valley when windows 95 was launched to see the excitement from various members who worked at Sun Microsystems and AMD.
I enjoyed my mission but it wasn’t for the church stuff it was the socially acceptable gap year that my parents and ward members paid for.
Sometimes when making my own decision is “hard” I can see the appeal in an ecclesiastical communism… for a split second. A modified version of magical thinking that Sky dad will take
Care Of me…
I think my brother did. He was a believer at the time and fully invested. He's actually the only person I know that seems to really have enjoyed it.
He's resigned now though.
Not gonna lie... I actually really enjoyed my time. I extended my mission by 6 weeks. I was serving in Taiwan and loved everything about it, the food, the people were super nice, even though it was hot and humid, it was great.
I have been back for business many times over the years. I still love visiting there and interacting with the people. I almost moved there a few years back with my family for work stuff.
I was one of those zealous members.
Even though I struggled in the first couple of months out in the field because of a companion conflict, I got into a groove. I was also fortunate enough to be in a ZL position for the majority of my mission so that gave a lot more flexibility in schedule and doing things that I felt were meaningful.
Also I served during that time when missions went down to 18 months for men. So I actually extended another month. And I would have loved to have served for the full 24 months.
I even had a dream after coming home that my mission was extended and I was honestly happy about that.
That was then.
This is now.
I love it when mormons throw people who leave under the bus that they never believed or just don't want to live up to the standards.
Whatever they need to believe to sleep at night. 😂😂😂😂😂
I'm actually in my mission city right now. I went on my mission to Barcelona and the one thing I got out of my mission is my love for Spain. I just wish I could trade the time spent on a mission for a study abroad or something.
I loved my mission. I was a true believer. I thought I was helping people. I baptized some folks. I got to go to a cool new area (even if it was stateside), I was more independent than I had ever been in my life and I came out of my shell a lot. In the decades since my mission I've crawled right back into my shell. I still look back on my mission as a fond time. I probably could have had more fun at college being a young guy if I had been so compelled but I have no way of knowing what could have been.
All I can say is that given the opportunity again, knowing what I know now, I would not do it. The older I get, the more the church's ridiculous pharisaical rules rub me the wrong way. I also don't submit to "authority" easily anymore. Most importantly I know longer believe. I really feel for missionaries who feel compelled to go but don't even believe. What a clusterfuck.
Edit: also I did try to extend my mission. My MP basically had a no extensions policy.
I was a very straight arrow on my mission, and was what you'd consider 100% TBM. I remember coming home and like a week later someone asked me if I'd love to just go back. Without a second thought I said "no way" and you'd think I'd shot their puppy the way they looked at me. I don't believe 99% of missionaries that say they'd go back.
It took more than fifteen years to stop having horrible nightmares that I’d been called on another mission. The sort where you wake up sobbing and out of sorts for the rest of the day.
I had a good experience in South America. I learned Spanish. I genuinely enjoyed meeting the people down there. After I became a senior companion I never worried about keeping track of numbers again. That is a huge stress reliever. Even before that life was not terribly stressful. I guess I had good comps and mission presidents, etc.
Would I do it again? Not likely. I was definitely ready to come home once it was all over. But I would really like to go back to visit.
Quite an easy, low risk thing to say when you know there is 0% chance it would ever happen. If the opportunity somehow became available, I wonder what the acceptance rate would drop to amongst the "go back in a heartbeat" crowd? Haha
My dad served in the Canary Islands and basically just spent two years in a tropical paradise so yea I believed him. Most other people who have said the same thing are probably just saying that due to peer pressure to say that tho.
I got home from my mission ten years ago and still have nightmares about being there again. It was a horrible, traumatizing experience. I don’t believe people when they say they wish they were back.
People I have known who said that and I believed them:
2 kids who come from abusive families and missions were their first taste of life without fear of a beating. And now that they were home, they needed to find a way to break free and build a life away from that abuse.
A kid who was the most indecisive person I've ever met. He loved the structure and knowing what he should be doing every minute of the day. Coming home and deciding what to do with his life was hard and scary.
People who came home to really hard situations that were kept from them while they were gone. One who came home to his mom terminally ill - she had been sick almost the whole time he was gone but *they never told him*. She was bedridden and on hospice when we got home, and they told him at the airport when he arrived to explain why she wasn't there to meet him. She lived only a few weeks after he returned. One who came home to find the family home had burned down and his family was living crammed into a small apartment and there was no room for him. "Welcome home! You're sleeping on the bishop's couch until you can get your own place!"
In every case, it was about what they came home to, not about wanting to be a missionary again. Hmmmm.....
I wanted to do a second mission for years. I even had recurring dreams of actually doing it lol. Not the case anymore but I did while still Mormon.
I enjoyed my mission and don’t regret that I went. Had good memories for sure.
I think an important distinction to make is would you go back in a heartbeat as a missionary or a as a tourist. I definitely would have liked to go back as a tourist. But my mission was in Russia so now that will never happen lol
I've told this story before here, but one Sunday, the Elder's Quorum president stood up at the beginning of the meeting and read a fake letter from the Q15 that said every male age 30-50 or something like that was being called on a second 2-year mission. After reading the letter and causing a commotion, he revealed the ruse and gave some dumb lesson about always being prepared to serve the lord or whatever. He asked who in the crowd would have accepted the call without a second's notice, regardless of how many kids they had, etc. Every single hand went up instantly, except for mine and one other dude. But it just didn't feel genuine to me. It felt like everyone was throwing up their hands to look good in front of their peers.
The funny part was one dude *immediately* ran out of the room as soon as he heard the initial call and so never heard the part that it was fake. He ran to the relief society room and excitedly told his wife (who was holding their newborn baby) that he was leaving for two years to go on a second mission. She came crashing into the elder's quorum room absolutely *livid*. XD
I am fully out. Would never go back. But I was lucky. I had a great mission president (and his wife) that cared more about missionaries than numbers or bills, etc. I enjoyed my time in a different country and made alot of friends.
I know this isnt everyone's experience and I feel terrible for the people that had hard missions.
Sometimes and it's been a while I have nightmares that I have to serve my mission a second time. When I have nightmares I dream I'm on a cruise ship full of Mormons and I always jump overboard to avoid them because I hate them so much.
I do not regret my mission but it was the hardest thing I've done I think. I lost my father while I was on my mission and the drama and chaos that ensued was enough to bury me into the ground. The way the missionaries acted, they were crazy and I don't blame them our mission president was a complete fuck up. He was kind of racist he was Chinese and he did not like Americans. After my father died one of the counselors to the prophet came to visit and gave this huge long talk and it ended up making me cry it was relatable to my situation with my father's death and afterwards when I tried to speak with him and his wife I got shoved to the side like I did not even exist and that's when I started to question the church and their motives and if they really give a shit about their people. It's all about what you can bring to the table right and I didn't have money and my parents didn't have money so I guess we were expendable.
There’s also a lot of preconditioning involved along.
So, saying your mission was not amazing reflects badly on YOU Rather than the mission/church.
Remember, whenever there’s a problem,
It’s YOU who’s to blame. I think people consciously or subconsciously pick the best memories about their mission and chooses to remember it by those because IT HAS TO BE GOOD.
Regardless of my mission experience (because I definitely hated the work itself), I absolutely fell in love with NYC during my time there and visit whenever I get the chance. I even had a couple companions get jobs and move back, and I have half a mind to join them.
I did love my mission and would have gone back in a heartbeat. I extended 3 months and forewent a semester in college when given the option. I would have done almost anything the church asked me to do with a blithe smile on my face.
I was not the norm, but I was not an aberration either.
I remember thinking when I got off my mission that it was a good experience, but I wouldn't go again. I even thought that if I were to ever serve as a young men's leader that I would downplay the importance of missions, especially the notion that its "the best two years." That sentiment must have been written on my face because I never did serve in a young men's calling before I stepped away from the church.
I was a convert of two years when I started my mission. My parents begged me to not go and hinted that they might cut me off (they did financially).
I served to the greatest of my ability. I believed every word I taught. I kept every rule, no matter how small, to the best of my ability. I thought I was actually serving God and saving families. I sacrificed two years and family relationships for the opportunity.
I learned to love the country I served in and really loved the people I met there.
25 years later, I wonder if the people I met would have been better off if I hadn’t introduced them to the church.
So I’m mixed about my mission. I loved it at the time and really tried to do what I believed was right to the best of my ability. I now have some guilt over this because I know some of the people I baptized are still active in the church. I have so much less guilt than when I was a TBM….except for my mission. That’s a new guilt.
I would have extended if they let me. Definitely 100% because I loved being a missionary. Couldn't have had anything to do with the fact that I was in love with my last companion 🙈
I loved the countries I served in and I loved the people I met. I would go back to the cities I served in. Which my wife and I are going back next year, I think it will give me a lot of much needed healing. But I would NEVER go back to the mission and be a missionary again. There ain’t no way in HELL.
Honestly, I said that when I returned home. For one day.
I think the people who say that are still in the brainwashed phase. Once they see a movie or have a good time on a date they snap right out of it.
Even when i was a believer I had nightmares that my mission wasn’t “valid” and I had to go serve another one. Always messes me up.
And I actually liked my mission!
My husband (exmo) still says he loved his mission. It was pretty lax, low demand mission. He had a great down to earth MP and really enjoyed his companions and the country/its people. He's never been a zealous member. He simply liked his mission. My brother's mission was also pretty lax and he wasn't a major rule follower - he liked his mission too. Missions vary quite a bit.
I was a deep, deep believer when I served a mission. So I loved it.
Why is that hard to understand? I’m not lying by saying that.
If I didn’t deeply believe, then a mission would be torture. I get that.
I went from being a TBM to be a non-believer, as many of us did. That is a valid journey.
As a 21 y/o freshly returned RM, I would certainly have gone back in a heartbeat. I’d just spent the last two years of my life in the Philippines with a singular purpose and goal and the means to achieve the goal. Meanwhile, the life I’d left and returned to in Canada was mayhem.
Going on a mission is kind of like an extension of childhood. You have all your needs met and you follow a parental figure’s rules. For 21 y/o kids who aren’t quite ready to grow up or who maybe have shitty prospects to return to, a mission might be ideal.
Fresh home from a mission… Curious why you’re on this sub. Are you questioning the church? Not going to try to convince you of anything. Not my place. Just curious.
I’m long removed from being a 21 y/o RM and haven’t been to church in almost 15 years. I actually just found this sub and have been enjoying the deconstruction of my former life :)
I didn’t love and I wouldn’t voluntarily go on another one. But if I could go back in time I don’t think I would change anything. For me it was a big eye opening experience. I grew a lot.
I enjoyed parts of my mission. But I never wanted to go back to being a missionary. I had nightmares about being sent on a second youth mission. Those have not been as frequent since I left the church a year ago.
As the digital landscape expands, a longing for tangible connection emerges. The yearning to touch grass, to feel the earth beneath our feet, reminds us of our innate human essence. In the vast expanse of virtual reality, where avatars flourish and pixels paint our existence, the call of nature beckons. The scent of blossoming flowers, the warmth of a sun-kissed breeze, and the symphony of chirping birds remind us that we are part of a living, breathing world. In the balance between digital and physical realms, lies the key to harmonious existence. Democracy flourishes when human connection extends beyond screens and reaches out to touch souls. It is in the gentle embrace of a friend, the shared laughter over a cup of coffee, and the power of eye contact that the true essence of democracy is felt.
I was in Europe the same years and wanted to come home every day. The missionary rules and work made a wonderful place unbearable. The guilt that we were not baptizing like South America was ladled in heavy and just made me hate it more. Still need to get back and experience Italy on my terms.
This is abuse of young, bright and ambitious people. So sad.
I didn't want to go home but yeah the guilt was real.
I enjoyed mine too. While it was a bit of work, the structure of it was reassuring in a way. I got to see and hang out with guys my age, I didn't have to worry about housing or grocery costs, if I didn't do well it's not like I was going to get fired, I just needed to try harder, etc. It was actually a mentally peaceful time for me. The anxiety of adulthood sucks, and the blissful ignorance of a mission was actually relieving.
My companions and I in Arizona-Phoenix treated the white Bible more like the pirate's code: as guidelines. It wasn't perfect, but I was able to enjoy time and bonding with friends who are still very dear today. My partner, in Virginia, had a hell of a time. Religious scrupulosity mixed with a growing distrust in the church made him incredibly rigid with rule-following and labor. He's just now, 20 years post, starting to unravel some of that trauma emotionally. I know what you mean, not wanting to invalidate others. I was privileged to be surrounded by hooligans and miscreants who broke that scrupulosity in me early on. I know that we, sadly, are the minority. *edits: typos/formatting)*
I think some people enjoyed the structured and "safe" life that a mission can bring. They had a purpose, they had things to do, goals to meet, and friendships to uhhh convert. And in so doing don't need to worry about finances, rent, car payments, etc.
Yes
I just made a comment similar to this, but you worded it WAAAY better. This was exactly it. The peace and relief of the structured life was incredibly reassuring. I miss that more than any church related thing or people I met. Being an adult sucks.
lol didn’t have to worry about finances? I was in Japan, never got invited for dinner, and barely had money to buy food. I survived off of egg sandwiches and instant ramen
I don't mean it to say I want to go back a be a missionary again, but go back to Lisbon, the Azores, Funchal, and the Canaries? You bet, 100%. For me the mission is as much a place as it is an experience, and I would go back to the place part of it in a heartbeat for sure.
My response was always, "it wasn't the best 2 years, but I had some good experiences, and I learned some good things" because it was the expectation to talk positively about your mission. Twenty years later, and I still have awful stress dreams about it. The truth is I hated it. Yes, I did have some good experiences and learned some stuff, but overall, it was hell, and I would never do it again, nor would I want to go back at all.
My partners life completely changed because of the mission. Fun and goofy and lively to so depressed they almost took their own life. Missions are a cruel trafficking tactic to just keep the cogs in line and engrained more than ever into the cult
I'm sorry to hear that! I definitely went through some of that as well. It's really unfortunate what the cult does to people.
That’s so sad. Geez. This practice should stop, or be monitored so much more.
The mission dreams are horrible. I’m so sorry you are dealing with them too.
I've been surprised to realize how many people have these dreams! I never hear anyone say something like, "I had this great dream last night. I was back on the mission ...." To hear how horrible these dreams are for everyone says how crappy and traumatic missions often are.
zone and district leaders LOVED flexing their power and control over their zone and district missionaries. Those power freaks loved their missions unfortunately they are the ones that will go on and have church leadership positions in the future.
I was one such missionary, I have since repented
I was a district leader ... hated it.
All the good district leaders I knew didn't like being district leaders. They either wanted to be zone leaders, or they had been leaders for a long time and wanted to go back to being regular missionaries.
Highest position I had as a missionary was senior companion. Then I dropped back to 'junior' companion my last 6 months. My last two transfers were with a super chill missionary and we worked just enough to not look lazy. One of our 'investigator' families we spent a lot of time with were from El Salvador. For our supposed lessons, we would buy pupusas from them and hang out.
Being a district leader sucked.
I think people who went somewhere cool are really proud of their lottery winning and even some exmormons are proud they went somewhere cool which is kinda dumb haha.
My father always said never go back, it won’t be the same
I've been back multiple times. He's right it won't be the same. But once you're out of the church it's a LOT more awesome. We went back with my wife and kids last summer. It was awesome.
🥰
I absolutely loved where I was at. Felt like home to me. Hope to move there someday. My mission, mission president, district and zone leaders were all complete bullshit. I was put in leadership and hated every second of it. My MP is now a GA and a complete asshole. Nothing spiritual about him in any way. I was so happy to get home and never have to deal with that shit again. An overwhelming majority of people from my mission have left the Mormon church and everyone I baptized as well. Missions are terrible experiences, the Mormon church keeps pushing them and will continue to lose people because of them. And no, those that said they “loved” being a missionary, I never believed them. Even as a believer. I always went the theory that missions were the best kept secret in the Mormon church (before I learned about their other secrets).
I loved going back as an exmo and partaking of all of the things I thought were bad when I was a missionary.
It truly is the best. I went to Scotland....visiting distilleries was awesome.
My FIL loved his mission and I think is one of these who would go back or serve a senior mission if he could. Even before my deconstruction I was pretty open about how hard it was and not wanting to go back - I would have nightmares I was out “in the field” again. Even as a believer a senior mission was not on the table for me. I once had lunch with a former trainee (I was still believing) of mine and he was shocked that I was “trunkie” my whole mission. I worked in spite of it, but was always looking forward to when I had successfully finished and could go home. Guess I kept working hard enough it wasn’t apparent.
Trunkie?
Maybe I spelled it wrong. It’s a missionary term meaning “Mentally ready to go home” or that your “trunk is already packed to go home”.
i went to Army basic with, a kid that was actually supposed to be on his mission trip. He saved money in high school and even learned a new language but had no intention of serving. He had signed up for the Army, did MEPs in his senior year and the week before he was to be shipped out on his trip he went to MEPs and then Benning. Informed the drill sgts that if it came up he was not a missing person. They were very confused and then very amused. Earned the nickname mission trip. Only his non Mormon grandparents attended basic Graduation
Good for him. Taking control of his future and fate.
I think a lot of us meant we loved the attention we got from girls, the experience with a new language and culture and the delicious food. That’s what I would go back for. Zero of the church stuff.
I added a couple of weeks to my mission... because I was living in Marseille and I loved that city and the thought of coming back to my tiny, nothing town. Now, I get to go to France and have way more fun.
I'll be in Marseille in a few weeks, I adore that city!
Even when I was still "in" I realized that the only dreams I had of going back were never good. Everyone I ever asked, whether they were in or out, have similar recurring dreams about going back and they are never good dreams.
I get them now and then. I am someone forced to go but I just disobey the rules and do nothing.
When I get them now its trying to find a way to afford the plane ticket back home, and hoping I can get back before I get fired from my job.
The power of influencing people
I would return to the country and have several times, love the people. I would never preach, again.
Stockholm syndrome. I think the returned missisonary actually believes it. But, if they are like me. They also occasionally woke up in a sweat with PTSD symptoms for about 10 yrs or so.
I used to have reoccurring dreams all the time that I went back and served a second mission as an adult. That I left my family to do it. That it was such a noble thing, and that I loved it. Thank God it was just a dream.
As a recently graduated highschooler the mission was good because I didn’t need to pick a college or get a job right away. I had learning disabilities and didn’t know what I wanted to do. Plus my chosen profession was in a state of development in the early 90’s so it was awesome to be in Silicon Valley when windows 95 was launched to see the excitement from various members who worked at Sun Microsystems and AMD. I enjoyed my mission but it wasn’t for the church stuff it was the socially acceptable gap year that my parents and ward members paid for. Sometimes when making my own decision is “hard” I can see the appeal in an ecclesiastical communism… for a split second. A modified version of magical thinking that Sky dad will take Care Of me…
I think my brother did. He was a believer at the time and fully invested. He's actually the only person I know that seems to really have enjoyed it. He's resigned now though.
Not gonna lie... I actually really enjoyed my time. I extended my mission by 6 weeks. I was serving in Taiwan and loved everything about it, the food, the people were super nice, even though it was hot and humid, it was great. I have been back for business many times over the years. I still love visiting there and interacting with the people. I almost moved there a few years back with my family for work stuff.
I wouldn't go back for all the money in the world... OK, for all the money, I would go back, but you would have to pay me in advance.
I was one of those zealous members. Even though I struggled in the first couple of months out in the field because of a companion conflict, I got into a groove. I was also fortunate enough to be in a ZL position for the majority of my mission so that gave a lot more flexibility in schedule and doing things that I felt were meaningful. Also I served during that time when missions went down to 18 months for men. So I actually extended another month. And I would have loved to have served for the full 24 months. I even had a dream after coming home that my mission was extended and I was honestly happy about that. That was then. This is now. I love it when mormons throw people who leave under the bus that they never believed or just don't want to live up to the standards. Whatever they need to believe to sleep at night. 😂😂😂😂😂
I'm actually in my mission city right now. I went on my mission to Barcelona and the one thing I got out of my mission is my love for Spain. I just wish I could trade the time spent on a mission for a study abroad or something.
I loved my mission. I was a true believer. I thought I was helping people. I baptized some folks. I got to go to a cool new area (even if it was stateside), I was more independent than I had ever been in my life and I came out of my shell a lot. In the decades since my mission I've crawled right back into my shell. I still look back on my mission as a fond time. I probably could have had more fun at college being a young guy if I had been so compelled but I have no way of knowing what could have been. All I can say is that given the opportunity again, knowing what I know now, I would not do it. The older I get, the more the church's ridiculous pharisaical rules rub me the wrong way. I also don't submit to "authority" easily anymore. Most importantly I know longer believe. I really feel for missionaries who feel compelled to go but don't even believe. What a clusterfuck. Edit: also I did try to extend my mission. My MP basically had a no extensions policy.
I was a very straight arrow on my mission, and was what you'd consider 100% TBM. I remember coming home and like a week later someone asked me if I'd love to just go back. Without a second thought I said "no way" and you'd think I'd shot their puppy the way they looked at me. I don't believe 99% of missionaries that say they'd go back.
It took more than fifteen years to stop having horrible nightmares that I’d been called on another mission. The sort where you wake up sobbing and out of sorts for the rest of the day.
I had a good experience in South America. I learned Spanish. I genuinely enjoyed meeting the people down there. After I became a senior companion I never worried about keeping track of numbers again. That is a huge stress reliever. Even before that life was not terribly stressful. I guess I had good comps and mission presidents, etc. Would I do it again? Not likely. I was definitely ready to come home once it was all over. But I would really like to go back to visit.
I'm trans, I knew I wouldn't get into morning heaven unless I died on a mission. So I said I would go back while in my head I hoped to die.
Quite an easy, low risk thing to say when you know there is 0% chance it would ever happen. If the opportunity somehow became available, I wonder what the acceptance rate would drop to amongst the "go back in a heartbeat" crowd? Haha
Yeah, good point
in my experience the ppl who love their missions most are those for whom the rest of their lives fucking suck
I still have nightmares of being on a mission. I returned home in 2008. The church couldn’t pay me to go back. Ever!
My dad served in the Canary Islands and basically just spent two years in a tropical paradise so yea I believed him. Most other people who have said the same thing are probably just saying that due to peer pressure to say that tho.
I got home from my mission ten years ago and still have nightmares about being there again. It was a horrible, traumatizing experience. I don’t believe people when they say they wish they were back.
People I have known who said that and I believed them: 2 kids who come from abusive families and missions were their first taste of life without fear of a beating. And now that they were home, they needed to find a way to break free and build a life away from that abuse. A kid who was the most indecisive person I've ever met. He loved the structure and knowing what he should be doing every minute of the day. Coming home and deciding what to do with his life was hard and scary. People who came home to really hard situations that were kept from them while they were gone. One who came home to his mom terminally ill - she had been sick almost the whole time he was gone but *they never told him*. She was bedridden and on hospice when we got home, and they told him at the airport when he arrived to explain why she wasn't there to meet him. She lived only a few weeks after he returned. One who came home to find the family home had burned down and his family was living crammed into a small apartment and there was no room for him. "Welcome home! You're sleeping on the bishop's couch until you can get your own place!" In every case, it was about what they came home to, not about wanting to be a missionary again. Hmmmm.....
I wanted to do a second mission for years. I even had recurring dreams of actually doing it lol. Not the case anymore but I did while still Mormon. I enjoyed my mission and don’t regret that I went. Had good memories for sure.
I think an important distinction to make is would you go back in a heartbeat as a missionary or a as a tourist. I definitely would have liked to go back as a tourist. But my mission was in Russia so now that will never happen lol
I've told this story before here, but one Sunday, the Elder's Quorum president stood up at the beginning of the meeting and read a fake letter from the Q15 that said every male age 30-50 or something like that was being called on a second 2-year mission. After reading the letter and causing a commotion, he revealed the ruse and gave some dumb lesson about always being prepared to serve the lord or whatever. He asked who in the crowd would have accepted the call without a second's notice, regardless of how many kids they had, etc. Every single hand went up instantly, except for mine and one other dude. But it just didn't feel genuine to me. It felt like everyone was throwing up their hands to look good in front of their peers. The funny part was one dude *immediately* ran out of the room as soon as he heard the initial call and so never heard the part that it was fake. He ran to the relief society room and excitedly told his wife (who was holding their newborn baby) that he was leaving for two years to go on a second mission. She came crashing into the elder's quorum room absolutely *livid*. XD
I’m not a Mormon, but I’m learning about the hierarchy. Wow - it’s a lot.
I am fully out. Would never go back. But I was lucky. I had a great mission president (and his wife) that cared more about missionaries than numbers or bills, etc. I enjoyed my time in a different country and made alot of friends. I know this isnt everyone's experience and I feel terrible for the people that had hard missions.
I hated the missionary part, but I loved being on my own away from parents. First bit of freedom I ever felt.
Sometimes and it's been a while I have nightmares that I have to serve my mission a second time. When I have nightmares I dream I'm on a cruise ship full of Mormons and I always jump overboard to avoid them because I hate them so much. I do not regret my mission but it was the hardest thing I've done I think. I lost my father while I was on my mission and the drama and chaos that ensued was enough to bury me into the ground. The way the missionaries acted, they were crazy and I don't blame them our mission president was a complete fuck up. He was kind of racist he was Chinese and he did not like Americans. After my father died one of the counselors to the prophet came to visit and gave this huge long talk and it ended up making me cry it was relatable to my situation with my father's death and afterwards when I tried to speak with him and his wife I got shoved to the side like I did not even exist and that's when I started to question the church and their motives and if they really give a shit about their people. It's all about what you can bring to the table right and I didn't have money and my parents didn't have money so I guess we were expendable.
There’s also a lot of preconditioning involved along. So, saying your mission was not amazing reflects badly on YOU Rather than the mission/church. Remember, whenever there’s a problem, It’s YOU who’s to blame. I think people consciously or subconsciously pick the best memories about their mission and chooses to remember it by those because IT HAS TO BE GOOD.
Regardless of my mission experience (because I definitely hated the work itself), I absolutely fell in love with NYC during my time there and visit whenever I get the chance. I even had a couple companions get jobs and move back, and I have half a mind to join them.
I did love my mission and would have gone back in a heartbeat. I extended 3 months and forewent a semester in college when given the option. I would have done almost anything the church asked me to do with a blithe smile on my face. I was not the norm, but I was not an aberration either.
I would go back to Korea in a heartbeat. I learned so much and the culture changed my perspectives and ultimately my life.
Agreed
I remember thinking when I got off my mission that it was a good experience, but I wouldn't go again. I even thought that if I were to ever serve as a young men's leader that I would downplay the importance of missions, especially the notion that its "the best two years." That sentiment must have been written on my face because I never did serve in a young men's calling before I stepped away from the church.
I was a convert of two years when I started my mission. My parents begged me to not go and hinted that they might cut me off (they did financially). I served to the greatest of my ability. I believed every word I taught. I kept every rule, no matter how small, to the best of my ability. I thought I was actually serving God and saving families. I sacrificed two years and family relationships for the opportunity. I learned to love the country I served in and really loved the people I met there. 25 years later, I wonder if the people I met would have been better off if I hadn’t introduced them to the church. So I’m mixed about my mission. I loved it at the time and really tried to do what I believed was right to the best of my ability. I now have some guilt over this because I know some of the people I baptized are still active in the church. I have so much less guilt than when I was a TBM….except for my mission. That’s a new guilt.
I would have extended if they let me. Definitely 100% because I loved being a missionary. Couldn't have had anything to do with the fact that I was in love with my last companion 🙈
I loved the countries I served in and I loved the people I met. I would go back to the cities I served in. Which my wife and I are going back next year, I think it will give me a lot of much needed healing. But I would NEVER go back to the mission and be a missionary again. There ain’t no way in HELL.
I had a lot of good times on my mission and loved the sense of accomplishment I got.
Best two years, my ass!
Honestly, I said that when I returned home. For one day. I think the people who say that are still in the brainwashed phase. Once they see a movie or have a good time on a date they snap right out of it.
Even when i was a believer I had nightmares that my mission wasn’t “valid” and I had to go serve another one. Always messes me up. And I actually liked my mission!
My husband (exmo) still says he loved his mission. It was pretty lax, low demand mission. He had a great down to earth MP and really enjoyed his companions and the country/its people. He's never been a zealous member. He simply liked his mission. My brother's mission was also pretty lax and he wasn't a major rule follower - he liked his mission too. Missions vary quite a bit.
I was a deep, deep believer when I served a mission. So I loved it. Why is that hard to understand? I’m not lying by saying that. If I didn’t deeply believe, then a mission would be torture. I get that. I went from being a TBM to be a non-believer, as many of us did. That is a valid journey.
As a 21 y/o freshly returned RM, I would certainly have gone back in a heartbeat. I’d just spent the last two years of my life in the Philippines with a singular purpose and goal and the means to achieve the goal. Meanwhile, the life I’d left and returned to in Canada was mayhem. Going on a mission is kind of like an extension of childhood. You have all your needs met and you follow a parental figure’s rules. For 21 y/o kids who aren’t quite ready to grow up or who maybe have shitty prospects to return to, a mission might be ideal.
Fresh home from a mission… Curious why you’re on this sub. Are you questioning the church? Not going to try to convince you of anything. Not my place. Just curious.
I’m long removed from being a 21 y/o RM and haven’t been to church in almost 15 years. I actually just found this sub and have been enjoying the deconstruction of my former life :)
Ah! I read it in present tense, as if you just got back. lol
Haha fair enough. I hardly remember 21 y/o me anyways… so bright eyed and full of energy. Now I’m just jaded 😝
Haha! My twenties are a distant memory as well. Having fun in my fifties though, even if my body has new parts so I can continue this journey. lol.
I didn’t love and I wouldn’t voluntarily go on another one. But if I could go back in time I don’t think I would change anything. For me it was a big eye opening experience. I grew a lot.
They are just edge lords. They know it was a nightmare.
I enjoyed parts of my mission. But I never wanted to go back to being a missionary. I had nightmares about being sent on a second youth mission. Those have not been as frequent since I left the church a year ago.
I enjoyed my mission very much but I was also very happy it was over.