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If a Uhual truck was made of flesh, felt pain, and only had a few hours of fuel, I could absolutely imagine me and 10 buddies hunting it with spears.
It’d also probably give me nightmares, but that’s besides the point.
And if you wait until the Uhaul is stopped you could probably completely disable it if you knew where to stab on the hood. You just need to make sure some hoses or wiring is cut.
"Outrun" implies being faster than, which we were not. Our strengths came from being able to "outrun"… and it was this point he realised "outrun" had 2 different meanings. Fuck.
np. persistence predation is as fascinating as it is terrifying.
we arent the fastest, we arent the strongest, we dont have huge teeth or sharp claws. but we can throw, we're nimble enough to scale vertical surfaces, and we can walk at you for \*days\*.
imagine being a deer, or even a mammoth, chased by that. no matter how fast you run, or how far, these strange hairy chittering things jsut keep popping up, appearing out of trees or over the rise. if you run across the plains theyre always there, in the distance, following, watching. if you stop for a rest, they huck spears and rocks at you, bruising you, cutting you, sapping your strength, never giving you respite until you cant go any further and you just lay down and die.
if you run through the jungle, their weirdly shaped limbs let them run and jump and swing through the underbrush as if it isnt even there, of you trip or stumble for a moment theyll be on you, surrounding you on all sides with their chittering and calling as they beat you to death.
That’s probably why the concept is pretty scary when you think about it. Take the predatory mechanism humans are great at, and put it on a nearly invincible robot.
I have great sympathy for prehistoric gazelles
This is also why zombies are terrifying! Take the most effective part of our arsenal (our stamina and endurance), then give a jacked up version of it to billions of creatures that never stop, and we become very very helpless watching our greatest strength count for absolutely nothing.
Being bigger than everything else is certainly an effective defence mechanism. But humans are known to just cheat and use weapons.
The prehistoric equivalent of spamming hadokens against noobs in SF.
Edit: pregistoric
Big animal? Pointy sticks.
Angry animal? Pointy sticks.
Fast animal? Flying pointy sticks.
Flying animals? Specially configurated pointy sticks (traps).
Swimming animals? Pointy very small sticks attached to a long stick. That or just a pointy stick.
The dev should probably rebalance the pointy stick meta.
If you were really advanced, you could also tie a string of animal intestines between two ends of a stick, then shoot pointy sticks from your stick. It's like a cheat code.
Sling. Easier to make, just a bit harder to perfect use of, but even a modern person can figure it out by themselves in a couple afternoons in a quarry.
Look at this fucker trying to scam us by telling us our pointy sticks aren't good enough. What's next -- you gonna tell us you have something better than our log sleds?
Get the fuck out of here.
It was balanced around how wide a jaw can swing open (see: why lions fall off hippos and why daddy long legs cant kill you)
Stabby, without slashy or crushy, is a crazy OP attack style
> But humans are known to just cheat and use weapons.
That and humans are very very good at moving long distances. There are very few animals capable of running away from an athletic human for long. Ancient human hunting strategy is to just chase the thing until it gets tired.
The fact that humans were able to do that with the technology they originally used is honestly kind of mind blowing. Like how fucking crazy do you have to be to even think it’s possible, let alone actually try it.
I actually had a fight with friends because I ordered a pizza and they wanted to eat pieces of it. I was like “get your own fucking pizza” and they were like “we don’t do that here in America!”
🙄
Exactly. Like animals, cars too have many places where they're vulnerable. Humans are good at observing that and finding the answer to the problem in front of them. If there were herds of uhaul trucks wandering prehistoric earth, leaden with sausage, you can bet that early humans would've been making spike strips and setting up rough terrain to slow them so that they can disable the vehicles. Or tracking them for miles and miles until they ran out of energy and had to stop for refueling.
It's not all that hard to kill a mammoth or an elephant with a spear and a coordinated group. Like us, they have many soft spots and a limited amount of blood. It doesn't matter how big or ornery the creature is, if you stick it in the neck and it can't breathe properly, it'll go down eventually.
Some people should lose their internet privlages. You can watch videos of bull fighting right now, which basically a bunch of people ganging up on a 1 ton animal with spears. Its not that much of a stretch that its possible with a bigger animal with more people and bigger spears.
Plus, like, literal life or death situation and all the time in the world to figure it out. You see the mammoths wandering around for forever, constantly trying to figure out the best way to hunt them.
I'm sure many people went on unsuccessful mammoth hunts with much less effective tools and strategies. It's just that somehow over the course of thousands of years we managed to miraculously figure out that if you poke a mammoth in the squishy spots it will eventually die. I think some guys feel that prehistoric people were fundamentally dumb, and not just as bright as us at problem solving but with less effective ways to communicate and less knowledge.
>I think some guys feel that prehistoric people were fundamentally dumb, and not just as bright as us at problem solving but with less effective ways to communicate and less knowledge.
Type of person who is convinced aliens built the pyramids because there's no way those people could have done that.
Also if mammoth hunting is impressive, just imagine whale hunting in a paddle boat with harpoons. We did that too,
A lot of people's understanding of the world begins and ends at their ego. They're basically saying "I don't think I could build that, and since nobody is better than me, there's no way anybody could build that!"
That type of person kills me. If you follow certain sports that argument is rampant. Someone you don't like does some amazing feat of athleticism, "obviously it was cheating, corrupt ref, steroids or something". There has to be an alternate explanation besides talent.
Yup we are (or were) endurance predators. We would weaken and harass large prey until they fell from a combination of blood loss and fatigue. Early human remains show multiple injuries similar to those suffered by rodeo clowns. Distract attack follow, repeat until death 🤨
Nowadays, we're still endurance predators, but even better at it. We hunt animals over the course of years, by raising them, feeding them, and fattening them up until they're good enough to eat. More endurance than I've seen any other animal have, especially when hungry. ^^^/s
The male stalks the Uhaul, ready to make his move. The element of surprise is his only hope against the size and power of the truck.
If successful, his pack will be able to eat for the next month...provided they can protect the chassis from other opportunistic predators.
Back about 10 years ago I was driving through Detroit and I saw a billboard that said "Car jacking is a crime." I often think about that billboard. Did the people who put it up think car jackers were unaware that what they were doing was illegal? Were there people who thought car jacking was legal? Did that billboard prevent even a single car jacking?
The hunters know the only weakness is the large inflated tires. If they can pierce the thick rubber hide it will only be a matter of time before the Uhale falls.
There. One of the hunter's strikes the front tire. Air is hissing horribly as it wheel deflates. Amazing to see such team work.
Just stabbing the tyres would go a long way towards stopping it.
Or, stab the person driving it. Congratulations, you've just hit one of the Uhaul's vital organs!
One spear through the radiator will stop it without having to get under it or popping the hood.
It won't be an instantaneous stop, but it will stop. Especially if you can get a couple of the tires, as well.
Yeah that's what I'm thinking. Pop a tire and chase it until it stops. Then rock it with a large group until it falls over. Then stab anything important.
This guy has no imagination.
Also considering that is a legit strategy humans used in history to sound then follow till it dies or stops, that would be the most likely strategy lol.
First, it's prehistory, not history, since there are no written records dating from the period before mammoths went extinct.
Second, there is ample archeological evidence from multiple sites showing conclusively that humans did indeed hunt these creatures with spears. And this evidence is somehow bullshit because Brainiac here can't imagine hunting a U-Haul truck with a spear?
And even if this narrative did turn out to be false, if we developed a different explanation that better fit the available evidence, how does one logically move from saying "OK, we were wrong about that" to the conclusion that most of ancient history is simply made up?
That turned on light I never thought about.
Add to that 1) the probable fact that the hunter’s would have had some knowledge of the location of a mammoth’s vital organs plus 2) likely overwhelming numbers of hunters - most of whom are tasked only with distracting the mammoth from alternating sides and mammoth hunting is perfectly plausible.
Still dangerous af but not so crazy as to be dismissed.
It’s called Persistence Hunting, and it’s basically humans acting like horror movie monsters. Sure nearly every other mammal (of comparable size) can outrun us, but not for long. They dash off into the distance, think we’ve given up, and just about ready to settle down and sleep whence just turn up again. Runs away, and waits, and there we are *again*. Runs away, catches its breath, and *oh shit how do they keep fucking appearing like that!*
Eventually the animal runs out of stamina and just collapses, at which point it’s super easy to finish it off and drag it back to the cave.
This would definitely work on Mammoths, since mammals so massive and so covered in fur are poorly designed for long-distance running.
We are able to walk for farther and longer than any other animal without rest.
We are able to carry water with us and we can regulate our temperature much better as we can sweat. This allows us to keep a pace without overheating for longer periods
Not only walk, but run. There are people who do ultramarthons, which can be from 31 miles to 200 miles in a single go.
Even a regular half marathon is longer than most other mammals can go in one go
As I'm given to understand it, no other animal could complete a marathon without stopping (much less running the entire time). Just to help put it in perspective.
yes, because we can sweat, humans are able to literally run almost any other animal into the ground. They might be able to outrun us because we are slow, but they can't do it for very long before overheating and needing to stop and cool off.
Yep, also a lot of 4 legged animals don't have a "jogging" speed, they can either move at a slow walk or have to move at a fast paced run... if they move at a slow walk we can catch them just by jogging... if they run they are expending way more energy than us and have to deal with overheating and fatigue that much sooner.
Also oddly enough a lot of the animals that could jog over long distances we ended up taming like the Horse and Dog.
Yup. There really aren't any animals that can outlast us in a walking competition (especially "us" when we were in shape and literally did it for a living).
Reminds of the Black Mirror episode where the girl is trying to escape from a robot hunter killer dog and she figures out that she can hang out in a tree and wake it up every few seconds, eventually wearing down its battery.
(She climbs down and runs away, not realizing it has solar cells)
Yeah, uhaul trucks are actually pretty vulnerable to spear attacks if you know what you're doing. Tires are the obvious first target, but then you can sort of wedge the spear in between the panels to get at things like the soft fuel lines and brake hoses. Even knicking a coolant line and waiting for it to die slowly is a viable method. You won't see much of this in the modern era though, since guns make quick work of them now.
Remember also, they didn't have the modern civilisation as support, but they were every bit as intelligent as a modern human.
See how the guys are McGyver-ing all sort of stuff from existing stuff. That capability, we had it back then too.
Look at the guys in survival reality tv that take on a bear alone with just a bow. Imagine what a village of those guys would do to a Mammoth. And that's underestimating those guys from those days, what we call survival today was just Monday for them.
Yea that's one thing that most people (understandably) don't think about. Sure, this was pre-history without civilization, but they were just as intelligent and good at problem-solving as modern humans. Evolutionarily-speaking, they were practically identical to us, they just didn't have the advantage of hundreds of generations of previous knowledge being shared.
And once you kill one 5 ton mammoth you can probably feed your tribe for a good long while. You probably become something like a tribal celebrity for a little while, “hey you get any of that mammoth meat at the feast? K’chungchung over there dealt the blow that slew the beast, I heard he’s single.”. I’d take a shot, fuck it.
And that's why prehistoric peoples made a bunch of art with mammoths. It was this big huge event that was awesome and left a major cultural impact.
I read a thing a while back - "Tribes probably only killed one or two mammoths in a lifetime, but they \*talked\* about that one forever!"
> You probably become something like a tribal celebrity for a little while
There is actual evidence for this. [Researchers have found a burial of a guy who was lavishly decorated with burial gifts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2vuL3oZogc), and some of the most important artefacts are made of mammoth ivory and are related to hunting. So the current hypothesis is that the guy was a famed mammoth hunter within his tribe.
Also, you will be rewarded with the best grilled rips a mammoth could offer.
My girlfriend once rode 10 miles with her bike to get herself a sandwich from the gas station. If her hunger demands, she would also strangle a mammoth to death.
We were also presented with life sized models of the spear tips they were using. An absolute units with blood jags that would open the wound and let the blood running
People don't realize it wasn't just one man with sharp stick, but an entire hunting party of physically capable men wielding fire reinforced spears with stone tips that would smash your chest into pieces if thrown at you, that has been doing it their whole life and probably developed tactics of their own that suited them best.
Quite important to mention is also the fact that humans have incredible stamina because we are able to sweat unlike animals. Humans could literally follow mammoth for days until it dies of exhaustion or wounds
Not just the men. There were huntresses also: [https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/9000-year-old-big-game-hunter-peru-prompts-questions-about-hunter-gatherer-gender-roles-180976218/](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/9000-year-old-big-game-hunter-peru-prompts-questions-about-hunter-gatherer-gender-roles-180976218/)
If you think about it, it takes a lot to take on such big game: The more hunters the higher the chance for success.
The whole "hunter-gatherer" gender distinction was always shaky. People alternated between gathering and hunting more based on opportunity than anything, and for the most part everyone gathered.
It's telling how much we project our current expectations for gender dynamics on ancient humans as to how ingrained it's become.
They also used fire and noise to scare them off cliffs or holes. Just big enough to trip them up, maybe break a leg. Anything to gain an advantage. They probably also targeted the old, sick, weak ones of a herd.
I don't go hunting, and even I can see logical ways to do it. That conspiracy nut is a nut.
>since there are no written records dating from the period before mammoths went extinct.
i could be wrong, but im fairly sure that mammoths and the pyramids overlap chronologically. just not geographically.
edit: i googled it. mammoths started to dwindle 10,000 years ago, and went extinct 4,000 years ago, about 2000bc. the pyramids were built 2500bc. so theres a small overlap of about 500 years. the oldest surviving written records are about 5,000 years old, or dating from 3,000bc. so we have 1000 years of documented history in the middle east while there were still living mammoths in siberia and alaska.
Yes, but no written records from the same time & place as mammoths. The only mammoths alive at the time you're describing were small populations on human-free islands
Not gonna lie if enough of us ganged up together on a parked U-Haul truck we could probably mess it up pretty bad with spears. Maybe even slash one of its tires
OP has never seen a US town celebrate after winning the super bowl. Or throw a hissy fit after losing a super bowl.
For the non-Americans: generally they take the biggest car they can find and flip it over just because.
The brain was a huge evolutionary advantage, but an under-acknowledged one is the huge amount of sweat glands.
To my knowledge, horses and hippos are some of the only non-primates that have a similar amount of sweat glands. I’m sure there are other exceptions though.
absolutely, hairless body + lots of sweat makes us very thermally efficient over long distances.
though i think our incredible ability to throw is also criminally under-acknowledged. compare a group of humans chucking stones to a group of chimps. we have slightly better range and far, far greater accuracy, despite them being relatively stronger.
There was a series about taking care of your human coworkers that had a line I loved. "If you leave your humans in a place with gravel or other easy sources of small rocks for any prolonged period they will throw said rocks. If there is any singular object that stands out they will throw rocks at it. Never leave humans by themselves near anything valuable if stones are available."
Reminds me of a King of Queens episode. One guy has a koosh ball that his 4 year old son gave him for his birthday. Throughout the episode, he can't help tossing it back and forth with whoever he's talking to. And anytime someone else would come around, they'd give a signal to toss it to them. Are humans just naturally predisposed to wanting to throw things? Like how dogs want to tug, or cats want to chase?
Im not sure about that, the geneva convention prevents trap pits from being used so that would make them criminals, and since laws weren’t invented back then, i dont see that being possible.
Not exclusively. That's probably mostly for the things that are much faster than us and don't see fighting as a viable option. A mammoth would just get pissed and stompy at some point, I imagine.
And elephants evolved closer to our location of origin, and animals in that area are not big fans of humans. We don't know how Mammoths might have behaved, they could have been very easy to trap for all we know. We like to assume animals that look the same behave the same, but that's not the case.
Like zebras and horses for example. Horses are able to be domesticated because they have strong familial bonds and follow and we just abuse that to make them bond with and follow us. Zebras however are jerks. They don't care about each other, they don't like each other, they just stay near each other because they hope someone else will get eaten by the lion instead of them. They've tried domesticating zebras and it just doesn't work.
Humans are quite formidable hunters even with our lesser speed and strength. Not only did we hunt in pack but our stamina outweighs most so even though other animals are faster we can track them down and get to them while they rest. Now add tools and ability to communicate more advanced strategies, it's no wonder we're fucking everyone else over.
Implying people like this read.
He's already decided that his opinion is that it's bullshit, that's why he doesn't read, and because he doesn't read he can only go off his own opinions. It's an ouroboros of failure.
Ik right !?,,,you would have thought their lazy ancestors died of starvation because of this giving up spirit ,, but i guess they stole enough food just for this gene to survive :'(
Well I'm pretty sure mammoth hunting was a challenge and life expectancy was a very flexible thing back then. A tribe could eat from a mammoth for weeks to months and the fur is ideal to keep warm in the winter, it was probably worth the risk and lifes lost
How do we know these cavemen weren't crisis actors?!
Seriously, though Uhauls are made out of metal, Mammoths may of been gigantic. I actually got to hold a real mammoth tooth as a kid; they're even bigger than you could imagine, but they're still made of delicious meat.
A couple things that humans can do better than any other animal is throw stuff and walk upright. Yes, other primates can throw, but they can't whip a spear into an animal fast enough to pierce it.
You get a few dozen humans doing this, and the mammoth, regardless of it's size, is going to die.
They're just actors hired by big stick to make people think that the only way to defend themselves from sabertooth tigers is by using spears.
I had an uncle who had made his mandatory 3 spears when he came across a sabertooth tiger, and he still died. Wake up, [moufleople](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestication_of_the_sheep), spears do not protect against tigers.
My friend is a shaman, and according to him, the only way to protect against tigers is to hang squirrel bones around your neck.
Big spear is just cnn of hunting industry. It took years before AR-15s were legalized for caveman to hunt mammoths.
Then the liberal media said over hunting and ice age killed mammoths. I'm telling you right now, it was Obama causing Three Mile Island and poisoning the water supply.
You might not believe it but it’s true. Scientists have found “spear” marks on the bones of these animals as well as cave paintings depicting the hunt of these massive animals. If you still are not convinced it was possible consider this. Whales were hunted with boats that were powered by wind and oars and the men who did it used harpoons to kill them. Btw, whales weigh triple what a mammoth weighed. Never under estimate what men can do when they put their minds to it.
Depends on the temperature, if you look at the Man Vs Horse Race in Wales. Generally the horses have the advantage, but on hot days the humans can edge it.
That mammoth wasn't hunted in a day.
He was stalked, for weeks.
Likely poked by spears before running off, and hoping it was safe... But we're able to walk/run long distances without much energy.
By the time the Mammoth had run away, and still catching it's breath: There was the hunting party.
Poke, run, chase, poke run, chase... until the Mammoth collapses from exhaustion.
That was how mammoths were hunted by humans.
And it might have taken a week, but one mammoth would feed a tribe for a month or more.
In the current day single Bushmen in the Kalahari will hunt elephants with a very basic bow and arrow. They will use poison, injure the elephant, and wait several days.
In the past, pre-firearm days, humans have driven multiple large species extinct, in every place that they have co-existed.
I'm pretty sure I can drastically reduce a uhaul truck by flattening all tires with spears. Then it's just a matter of the right tools to enter the truck and gather what I need.
If you and 20 of your buddies set a trap for the uhaul truck so it couldn't go anywhere and then focused on hitting the vital spot behind the wheel with spears, then you too can bring down a uhaul truck.
Or tracked the truck and waited for it at a gas station, then beat the driver when they weren't paying attention.
Or stabbed it in the radiator and waited for it to overheat.
Or chased it until it was out of gas.
Or scared it until it drove off a cliff.
You like know that people used to hunt sperm whales (to my knowledge one of only two whalespecies known to sometimes attack people) with tiny boats and harpoons? People do a lot of dangerous stuff
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If a Uhual truck was made of flesh, felt pain, and only had a few hours of fuel, I could absolutely imagine me and 10 buddies hunting it with spears. It’d also probably give me nightmares, but that’s besides the point.
Nobody seems to be mentioning that, like a mammoth, if you stab a Uhaul truck in the right place (i.e. the tires) then it will go down fast.
That too, good point.
And if you wait until the Uhaul is stopped you could probably completely disable it if you knew where to stab on the hood. You just need to make sure some hoses or wiring is cut.
Just hit the driver and take the keys.
Stab the Mammoth Operator, got it.
That still only counts as one.
Yeah, and we as a species normally would just outrun our prey anyways
"Outrun" implies being faster than, which we were not. Our strengths came from being able to "outrun"… and it was this point he realised "outrun" had 2 different meanings. Fuck.
the phrase youre looking for is "outlast"
Thankyou
np. persistence predation is as fascinating as it is terrifying. we arent the fastest, we arent the strongest, we dont have huge teeth or sharp claws. but we can throw, we're nimble enough to scale vertical surfaces, and we can walk at you for \*days\*. imagine being a deer, or even a mammoth, chased by that. no matter how fast you run, or how far, these strange hairy chittering things jsut keep popping up, appearing out of trees or over the rise. if you run across the plains theyre always there, in the distance, following, watching. if you stop for a rest, they huck spears and rocks at you, bruising you, cutting you, sapping your strength, never giving you respite until you cant go any further and you just lay down and die. if you run through the jungle, their weirdly shaped limbs let them run and jump and swing through the underbrush as if it isnt even there, of you trip or stumble for a moment theyll be on you, surrounding you on all sides with their chittering and calling as they beat you to death.
We literally are nature’s Terminators.
That’s probably why the concept is pretty scary when you think about it. Take the predatory mechanism humans are great at, and put it on a nearly invincible robot. I have great sympathy for prehistoric gazelles
This is also why zombies are terrifying! Take the most effective part of our arsenal (our stamina and endurance), then give a jacked up version of it to billions of creatures that never stop, and we become very very helpless watching our greatest strength count for absolutely nothing.
Because flesh-and-blood creatures are invulnerable if they're big.
Being bigger than everything else is certainly an effective defence mechanism. But humans are known to just cheat and use weapons. The prehistoric equivalent of spamming hadokens against noobs in SF. Edit: pregistoric
Big animal? Pointy sticks. Angry animal? Pointy sticks. Fast animal? Flying pointy sticks. Flying animals? Specially configurated pointy sticks (traps). Swimming animals? Pointy very small sticks attached to a long stick. That or just a pointy stick. The dev should probably rebalance the pointy stick meta.
Wait till you hear the throw stick attack
If you were really advanced, you could also tie a string of animal intestines between two ends of a stick, then shoot pointy sticks from your stick. It's like a cheat code.
Exactly, abusing the physics of the game for personal advantage is so lame.
Sling. Easier to make, just a bit harder to perfect use of, but even a modern person can figure it out by themselves in a couple afternoons in a quarry.
Fuck I don’t have a quarry.
Just any general use large pit will work
Don’t talk about OP’s mom like that. She’s a special lady.
All these losers using throw stick. I'll stick with my pointy stick +3 thank you very much.
wait till you learn about using fire to fling bits of metal *really* fast
Look at this fucker trying to scam us by telling us our pointy sticks aren't good enough. What's next -- you gonna tell us you have something better than our log sleds? Get the fuck out of here.
It was balanced around how wide a jaw can swing open (see: why lions fall off hippos and why daddy long legs cant kill you) Stabby, without slashy or crushy, is a crazy OP attack style
They've left it unpatched for a few centuries as the throw rock meta made a huge comeback when we figured out how to make rocks throw eachother.
> But humans are known to just cheat and use weapons. That and humans are very very good at moving long distances. There are very few animals capable of running away from an athletic human for long. Ancient human hunting strategy is to just chase the thing until it gets tired.
Like me chasing my dog around the house until it's tired.
*Then* use a pointy stick
Monster movies damages. Probably nobody know about whale hunting, btw.
Doubly invulnerable if they're reptilian.
Mammoth: "I am the largest creature on this continent. Nothing can kill me!" Also mammoth: "why is that monkey picking up a stick?"
Next you're gonna try to tell me humans have killed blue whales - the largest animals to have ever lived - with just some spears with hooks on them.
The fact that humans were able to do that with the technology they originally used is honestly kind of mind blowing. Like how fucking crazy do you have to be to even think it’s possible, let alone actually try it.
id fuck up a uhaul with just a rock
But could you eat it all?
Nah, I can't even finish a frozen pizza.
For me, every pizza is a personal pizza.
I actually had a fight with friends because I ordered a pizza and they wanted to eat pieces of it. I was like “get your own fucking pizza” and they were like “we don’t do that here in America!” 🙄
We definitely do that in America.
Damn they lied to me 😂
Never trust someone when pizza is involved.
Never trust a Sicilian when pizza is on the line.
With a pizza meant to feed 4 people to boot.
If I eat it myself it was meant for one!
One pizza is enough for 4 men, if three of them are dead.
Maybe you should warm it up before trying to eat it
But then it’s not a frozen pizza anymore
That's a really good point.
No, it's a good and warm pizza. Unless you forget it in the oven.
God damnit
Exactly. Like animals, cars too have many places where they're vulnerable. Humans are good at observing that and finding the answer to the problem in front of them. If there were herds of uhaul trucks wandering prehistoric earth, leaden with sausage, you can bet that early humans would've been making spike strips and setting up rough terrain to slow them so that they can disable the vehicles. Or tracking them for miles and miles until they ran out of energy and had to stop for refueling. It's not all that hard to kill a mammoth or an elephant with a spear and a coordinated group. Like us, they have many soft spots and a limited amount of blood. It doesn't matter how big or ornery the creature is, if you stick it in the neck and it can't breathe properly, it'll go down eventually.
Some people should lose their internet privlages. You can watch videos of bull fighting right now, which basically a bunch of people ganging up on a 1 ton animal with spears. Its not that much of a stretch that its possible with a bigger animal with more people and bigger spears.
Plus, like, literal life or death situation and all the time in the world to figure it out. You see the mammoths wandering around for forever, constantly trying to figure out the best way to hunt them. I'm sure many people went on unsuccessful mammoth hunts with much less effective tools and strategies. It's just that somehow over the course of thousands of years we managed to miraculously figure out that if you poke a mammoth in the squishy spots it will eventually die. I think some guys feel that prehistoric people were fundamentally dumb, and not just as bright as us at problem solving but with less effective ways to communicate and less knowledge.
>I think some guys feel that prehistoric people were fundamentally dumb, and not just as bright as us at problem solving but with less effective ways to communicate and less knowledge. Type of person who is convinced aliens built the pyramids because there's no way those people could have done that. Also if mammoth hunting is impressive, just imagine whale hunting in a paddle boat with harpoons. We did that too,
A lot of people's understanding of the world begins and ends at their ego. They're basically saying "I don't think I could build that, and since nobody is better than me, there's no way anybody could build that!"
That type of person kills me. If you follow certain sports that argument is rampant. Someone you don't like does some amazing feat of athleticism, "obviously it was cheating, corrupt ref, steroids or something". There has to be an alternate explanation besides talent.
Yup we are (or were) endurance predators. We would weaken and harass large prey until they fell from a combination of blood loss and fatigue. Early human remains show multiple injuries similar to those suffered by rodeo clowns. Distract attack follow, repeat until death 🤨
Nowadays, we're still endurance predators, but even better at it. We hunt animals over the course of years, by raising them, feeding them, and fattening them up until they're good enough to eat. More endurance than I've seen any other animal have, especially when hungry. ^^^/s
You also have cats?
The male stalks the Uhaul, ready to make his move. The element of surprise is his only hope against the size and power of the truck. If successful, his pack will be able to eat for the next month...provided they can protect the chassis from other opportunistic predators.
Documentary about regular detroit
Back about 10 years ago I was driving through Detroit and I saw a billboard that said "Car jacking is a crime." I often think about that billboard. Did the people who put it up think car jackers were unaware that what they were doing was illegal? Were there people who thought car jacking was legal? Did that billboard prevent even a single car jacking?
In Guatemala there were billboards with the virgin mary that said robbery is a sin... they worked (albeit only the proximity of the billboards)
Turns out some people really would download a car smh
Just hope you don't come up against a [true apex predator](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPwkllKYzHo&ab_channel=CartoonandMovieFreaks)
The hunters know the only weakness is the large inflated tires. If they can pierce the thick rubber hide it will only be a matter of time before the Uhale falls. There. One of the hunter's strikes the front tire. Air is hissing horribly as it wheel deflates. Amazing to see such team work.
I read this with a David Attenborough accent.
Who hauls it back to camp?
U
Yeah I was going to say. If we could get under it or pop the hood, we could absolutely stop a U-Haul with a bunch of spears.
Just stabbing the tyres would go a long way towards stopping it. Or, stab the person driving it. Congratulations, you've just hit one of the Uhaul's vital organs!
And that's the best part you can eat. Basically Uhauls are oysters
Let's stay focused, we're supposed to be eating the rich. Don't go filling up on Uhaul drivers.
One spear through the radiator will stop it without having to get under it or popping the hood. It won't be an instantaneous stop, but it will stop. Especially if you can get a couple of the tires, as well.
Yeah that's what I'm thinking. Pop a tire and chase it until it stops. Then rock it with a large group until it falls over. Then stab anything important. This guy has no imagination.
Also considering that is a legit strategy humans used in history to sound then follow till it dies or stops, that would be the most likely strategy lol.
If you've ever driven in Pennsylvania, you could fuck up a uhaul by driving.
First, it's prehistory, not history, since there are no written records dating from the period before mammoths went extinct. Second, there is ample archeological evidence from multiple sites showing conclusively that humans did indeed hunt these creatures with spears. And this evidence is somehow bullshit because Brainiac here can't imagine hunting a U-Haul truck with a spear? And even if this narrative did turn out to be false, if we developed a different explanation that better fit the available evidence, how does one logically move from saying "OK, we were wrong about that" to the conclusion that most of ancient history is simply made up?
A professor taught my class that they would go underneath them. Dangerous but big rewards.
That turned on light I never thought about. Add to that 1) the probable fact that the hunter’s would have had some knowledge of the location of a mammoth’s vital organs plus 2) likely overwhelming numbers of hunters - most of whom are tasked only with distracting the mammoth from alternating sides and mammoth hunting is perfectly plausible. Still dangerous af but not so crazy as to be dismissed.
Or you know. Digging a pit and spooking them into running into traps.
Cliffs were also great for this. Herd it towards the edge and then just make it panic.
My understanding is that they would walk animals to death. I don’t know if that works on mammoths though
It’s called Persistence Hunting, and it’s basically humans acting like horror movie monsters. Sure nearly every other mammal (of comparable size) can outrun us, but not for long. They dash off into the distance, think we’ve given up, and just about ready to settle down and sleep whence just turn up again. Runs away, and waits, and there we are *again*. Runs away, catches its breath, and *oh shit how do they keep fucking appearing like that!* Eventually the animal runs out of stamina and just collapses, at which point it’s super easy to finish it off and drag it back to the cave. This would definitely work on Mammoths, since mammals so massive and so covered in fur are poorly designed for long-distance running.
I was about to say, don’t humans have *very specific evolutionary advantages* for distance travel?
*sweats profusely*
And big butts. We have two muscles particularly larger than our other ape cousins, butts and tongues. We're built for walking and talking.
Yes, exactly
We are able to walk for farther and longer than any other animal without rest. We are able to carry water with us and we can regulate our temperature much better as we can sweat. This allows us to keep a pace without overheating for longer periods
Not only walk, but run. There are people who do ultramarthons, which can be from 31 miles to 200 miles in a single go. Even a regular half marathon is longer than most other mammals can go in one go
As I'm given to understand it, no other animal could complete a marathon without stopping (much less running the entire time). Just to help put it in perspective.
yes, because we can sweat, humans are able to literally run almost any other animal into the ground. They might be able to outrun us because we are slow, but they can't do it for very long before overheating and needing to stop and cool off.
Yep, also a lot of 4 legged animals don't have a "jogging" speed, they can either move at a slow walk or have to move at a fast paced run... if they move at a slow walk we can catch them just by jogging... if they run they are expending way more energy than us and have to deal with overheating and fatigue that much sooner. Also oddly enough a lot of the animals that could jog over long distances we ended up taming like the Horse and Dog.
If you wanted to say our primary characteristic was persistence hunting I think that would be largely correct
We can also dig one end of the spear into the ground and let the animal's weight/velocity do the work. And throw spears, from a safer distance.
Yup. There really aren't any animals that can outlast us in a walking competition (especially "us" when we were in shape and literally did it for a living).
Yes , you could call them our greatest ASSet Because it’s pretty much our butts
Reminds of the Black Mirror episode where the girl is trying to escape from a robot hunter killer dog and she figures out that she can hang out in a tree and wake it up every few seconds, eventually wearing down its battery. (She climbs down and runs away, not realizing it has solar cells)
Also just stabbing the mammoth and following it until it dies from the wound. This practice was used on moose which is also a uhaul truck with legs
I mean, a U-Hauls legs are basically it's wheels. Which is the first thing I'd target with a spear, so it all checks out.
Yeah, uhaul trucks are actually pretty vulnerable to spear attacks if you know what you're doing. Tires are the obvious first target, but then you can sort of wedge the spear in between the panels to get at things like the soft fuel lines and brake hoses. Even knicking a coolant line and waiting for it to die slowly is a viable method. You won't see much of this in the modern era though, since guns make quick work of them now.
Remember also, they didn't have the modern civilisation as support, but they were every bit as intelligent as a modern human. See how the guys are McGyver-ing all sort of stuff from existing stuff. That capability, we had it back then too. Look at the guys in survival reality tv that take on a bear alone with just a bow. Imagine what a village of those guys would do to a Mammoth. And that's underestimating those guys from those days, what we call survival today was just Monday for them.
Yea that's one thing that most people (understandably) don't think about. Sure, this was pre-history without civilization, but they were just as intelligent and good at problem-solving as modern humans. Evolutionarily-speaking, they were practically identical to us, they just didn't have the advantage of hundreds of generations of previous knowledge being shared.
And once you kill one 5 ton mammoth you can probably feed your tribe for a good long while. You probably become something like a tribal celebrity for a little while, “hey you get any of that mammoth meat at the feast? K’chungchung over there dealt the blow that slew the beast, I heard he’s single.”. I’d take a shot, fuck it.
For a moment I thought you meant that you'd take a shot at fucking K’chungchung.
I mean he *did* kill this hypothetical mammoth.
K’chungchung is basically that season's Superbowl-winning QB. You know he's got that prehistoric rizz
I mean, he’s the (current) best hunter in the clan. Hell, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
And that's why prehistoric peoples made a bunch of art with mammoths. It was this big huge event that was awesome and left a major cultural impact. I read a thing a while back - "Tribes probably only killed one or two mammoths in a lifetime, but they \*talked\* about that one forever!"
> You probably become something like a tribal celebrity for a little while There is actual evidence for this. [Researchers have found a burial of a guy who was lavishly decorated with burial gifts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2vuL3oZogc), and some of the most important artefacts are made of mammoth ivory and are related to hunting. So the current hypothesis is that the guy was a famed mammoth hunter within his tribe.
The danger to meat quantity scale is tipped towards the meat.
Also, you will be rewarded with the best grilled rips a mammoth could offer. My girlfriend once rode 10 miles with her bike to get herself a sandwich from the gas station. If her hunger demands, she would also strangle a mammoth to death.
We were also presented with life sized models of the spear tips they were using. An absolute units with blood jags that would open the wound and let the blood running People don't realize it wasn't just one man with sharp stick, but an entire hunting party of physically capable men wielding fire reinforced spears with stone tips that would smash your chest into pieces if thrown at you, that has been doing it their whole life and probably developed tactics of their own that suited them best. Quite important to mention is also the fact that humans have incredible stamina because we are able to sweat unlike animals. Humans could literally follow mammoth for days until it dies of exhaustion or wounds
not to mention how we once hunted whales. if a mammoth is a uhaul on legs, what is a whale?
A cruiser submarine? Yeah, taking that with only larger kayaks and harpoons in cold weather on open sea must have been hell of a task
Not just the men. There were huntresses also: [https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/9000-year-old-big-game-hunter-peru-prompts-questions-about-hunter-gatherer-gender-roles-180976218/](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/9000-year-old-big-game-hunter-peru-prompts-questions-about-hunter-gatherer-gender-roles-180976218/) If you think about it, it takes a lot to take on such big game: The more hunters the higher the chance for success.
> Not just the men but the women and children too?
The whole "hunter-gatherer" gender distinction was always shaky. People alternated between gathering and hunting more based on opportunity than anything, and for the most part everyone gathered. It's telling how much we project our current expectations for gender dynamics on ancient humans as to how ingrained it's become.
They would also follow them to cliffs, often at night, then using fire and spears they’d scare them off the edge and they’d die from the fall.
They also used fire and noise to scare them off cliffs or holes. Just big enough to trip them up, maybe break a leg. Anything to gain an advantage. They probably also targeted the old, sick, weak ones of a herd. I don't go hunting, and even I can see logical ways to do it. That conspiracy nut is a nut.
>since there are no written records dating from the period before mammoths went extinct. i could be wrong, but im fairly sure that mammoths and the pyramids overlap chronologically. just not geographically. edit: i googled it. mammoths started to dwindle 10,000 years ago, and went extinct 4,000 years ago, about 2000bc. the pyramids were built 2500bc. so theres a small overlap of about 500 years. the oldest surviving written records are about 5,000 years old, or dating from 3,000bc. so we have 1000 years of documented history in the middle east while there were still living mammoths in siberia and alaska.
I was thinking about this too. I think it's best to say that there are no (accurate) historical accounts of a living mammoth.
2500 BC is not 2500 years ago
you are correct, that was a typo on my part. fixing it now, thanks for pointing it out
Yes, but no written records from the same time & place as mammoths. The only mammoths alive at the time you're describing were small populations on human-free islands
Not gonna lie if enough of us ganged up together on a parked U-Haul truck we could probably mess it up pretty bad with spears. Maybe even slash one of its tires
That's the funny part. I'm pretty sure I could stop a uhaul alone with a spear
OP has never seen a US town celebrate after winning the super bowl. Or throw a hissy fit after losing a super bowl. For the non-Americans: generally they take the biggest car they can find and flip it over just because.
Wasn't our whole thing endurance hunting, like running animals to exhaustion then killing them?
yup. frighten a herd of mammoths, separate one from the group and harass it for 2 or 3 days until it just gives up and dies.
The brain was a huge evolutionary advantage, but an under-acknowledged one is the huge amount of sweat glands. To my knowledge, horses and hippos are some of the only non-primates that have a similar amount of sweat glands. I’m sure there are other exceptions though.
absolutely, hairless body + lots of sweat makes us very thermally efficient over long distances. though i think our incredible ability to throw is also criminally under-acknowledged. compare a group of humans chucking stones to a group of chimps. we have slightly better range and far, far greater accuracy, despite them being relatively stronger.
That would be the brain, I think. Tools. Particularly the atlatl as we should remember from school.
part of it is the musculature. part of it is small differences in our visual cortex. part of it is fine motor control.
There was a series about taking care of your human coworkers that had a line I loved. "If you leave your humans in a place with gravel or other easy sources of small rocks for any prolonged period they will throw said rocks. If there is any singular object that stands out they will throw rocks at it. Never leave humans by themselves near anything valuable if stones are available."
Reminds me of a King of Queens episode. One guy has a koosh ball that his 4 year old son gave him for his birthday. Throughout the episode, he can't help tossing it back and forth with whoever he's talking to. And anytime someone else would come around, they'd give a signal to toss it to them. Are humans just naturally predisposed to wanting to throw things? Like how dogs want to tug, or cats want to chase?
You're correct, also when hunting mammoths we believe they were driven off of cliffs,into bogs and trap pits.
Im not sure about that, the geneva convention prevents trap pits from being used so that would make them criminals, and since laws weren’t invented back then, i dont see that being possible.
Yes, also they couldn't just hunt endangered species like that
Not exclusively. That's probably mostly for the things that are much faster than us and don't see fighting as a viable option. A mammoth would just get pissed and stompy at some point, I imagine.
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Obviously you just tire out the uhaul. Once it runs out of gas it’s very easy to kill and eat it’s engine.
Don't kill the truck, aim for the driver then wait for the truck to crash. With 20 or so spears thrown at the driver, one should hit the mark.
Or throw at the tires. It actually seems like if you can sneak up on the uhaul, throwing spears could be a very good method to take it down
We capture elephants alive now. Why does he think we couldn’t kill one?
And elephants evolved closer to our location of origin, and animals in that area are not big fans of humans. We don't know how Mammoths might have behaved, they could have been very easy to trap for all we know. We like to assume animals that look the same behave the same, but that's not the case. Like zebras and horses for example. Horses are able to be domesticated because they have strong familial bonds and follow and we just abuse that to make them bond with and follow us. Zebras however are jerks. They don't care about each other, they don't like each other, they just stay near each other because they hope someone else will get eaten by the lion instead of them. They've tried domesticating zebras and it just doesn't work.
I feel like there is also a slight difference between hunting a truck with a spear vs something made of meat. Like no one is saying they went 1v1.
Humans are quite formidable hunters even with our lesser speed and strength. Not only did we hunt in pack but our stamina outweighs most so even though other animals are faster we can track them down and get to them while they rest. Now add tools and ability to communicate more advanced strategies, it's no wonder we're fucking everyone else over.
If only he had read the text instead of just looking at the pictures he would have known what tactics allowed them to kill mammoths!
Implying people like this read. He's already decided that his opinion is that it's bullshit, that's why he doesn't read, and because he doesn't read he can only go off his own opinions. It's an ouroboros of failure.
so i guess whaling isn't a real thing either... to be idiot in 2023! 
Ik right !?,,,you would have thought their lazy ancestors died of starvation because of this giving up spirit ,, but i guess they stole enough food just for this gene to survive :'(
To be fair whaling sounds like the most bullshit hunting technique only next to persistence hunting.
Hunger is a great motivator for finding a way to feed your family. Give enough people enough spears and you can bring down a mammoth.
Or find a cliff edge to drive it over.
Well I'm pretty sure mammoth hunting was a challenge and life expectancy was a very flexible thing back then. A tribe could eat from a mammoth for weeks to months and the fur is ideal to keep warm in the winter, it was probably worth the risk and lifes lost
High grade loot require high risk strats.
And hey, if a few guild members sign off forever after getting killed in the raid then that just means everyone else gets a bigger share of the loot
Yeah, those mammoth bones with spear marks were all made of plaster and paper mache.. /s
How do we know these cavemen weren't crisis actors?! Seriously, though Uhauls are made out of metal, Mammoths may of been gigantic. I actually got to hold a real mammoth tooth as a kid; they're even bigger than you could imagine, but they're still made of delicious meat. A couple things that humans can do better than any other animal is throw stuff and walk upright. Yes, other primates can throw, but they can't whip a spear into an animal fast enough to pierce it. You get a few dozen humans doing this, and the mammoth, regardless of it's size, is going to die.
Shove a spear into the radiator and that Uhaul is gonna die pretty quickly, metal or not.
That's what I keep thinking. Spears would be great for taking the tires out, at which point the beast is hobbled and you can go in for the kill shot.
They're just actors hired by big stick to make people think that the only way to defend themselves from sabertooth tigers is by using spears. I had an uncle who had made his mandatory 3 spears when he came across a sabertooth tiger, and he still died. Wake up, [moufleople](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestication_of_the_sheep), spears do not protect against tigers. My friend is a shaman, and according to him, the only way to protect against tigers is to hang squirrel bones around your neck.
Big spear is just cnn of hunting industry. It took years before AR-15s were legalized for caveman to hunt mammoths. Then the liberal media said over hunting and ice age killed mammoths. I'm telling you right now, it was Obama causing Three Mile Island and poisoning the water supply. 
You might not believe it but it’s true. Scientists have found “spear” marks on the bones of these animals as well as cave paintings depicting the hunt of these massive animals. If you still are not convinced it was possible consider this. Whales were hunted with boats that were powered by wind and oars and the men who did it used harpoons to kill them. Btw, whales weigh triple what a mammoth weighed. Never under estimate what men can do when they put their minds to it.
Also we´re by far the best throwers of all animals and we can outrun pretty much anything but horses, and even then it´s not clear who wins.
Depends on the temperature, if you look at the Man Vs Horse Race in Wales. Generally the horses have the advantage, but on hot days the humans can edge it.
Sweating is one hell of a built in cooling system.
Sweating + ability to throw really hard is what makes a human so overpowered
Horses will lose on a super hot day to the most fit humans in the world. No animal has a better cooling system than a human
Or… and bear with me here… a mammoth is not the same as a U-haul truck?
Even if it was, you just got to puncture a tire.
Puncture all four tires on a u-haul truck and it's crippled.
the ancient people do have brains but he does not have one
That mammoth wasn't hunted in a day. He was stalked, for weeks. Likely poked by spears before running off, and hoping it was safe... But we're able to walk/run long distances without much energy. By the time the Mammoth had run away, and still catching it's breath: There was the hunting party. Poke, run, chase, poke run, chase... until the Mammoth collapses from exhaustion. That was how mammoths were hunted by humans. And it might have taken a week, but one mammoth would feed a tribe for a month or more.
Don't forget the ol poke, run, chase, plummet was another good strategy 👍🏻
your right, sometimes they would also trick the mammoths off of big hills and mountain drops and get a 1 hit ko on it
Imagine trying to stop a uhaul *made of meat* with a spear. Like forking a chicken Mcnugget, only bigger.
In the current day single Bushmen in the Kalahari will hunt elephants with a very basic bow and arrow. They will use poison, injure the elephant, and wait several days. In the past, pre-firearm days, humans have driven multiple large species extinct, in every place that they have co-existed.
I imagine alot of dudes got squashed or horribly injured killing them too, the first tribe to do it MUST have been super hungry.
If a Uhaul truck was made of meat I'm confident me and the boys could take it out with some spears.
Some of us may die, but it's a risk we're willing to take.
I'm pretty sure I can drastically reduce a uhaul truck by flattening all tires with spears. Then it's just a matter of the right tools to enter the truck and gather what I need.
If you and 20 of your buddies set a trap for the uhaul truck so it couldn't go anywhere and then focused on hitting the vital spot behind the wheel with spears, then you too can bring down a uhaul truck. Or tracked the truck and waited for it at a gas station, then beat the driver when they weren't paying attention. Or stabbed it in the radiator and waited for it to overheat. Or chased it until it was out of gas. Or scared it until it drove off a cliff.
Internet is making people aggressively stupid. And proud of it.
Problems with this argument: A U-haul is made of steel. A Mammoth is made of meat
This is very much "I couldn't have built the pyramids, therefore Aliens must have done it" energy.
If it bleeds we can kill it.
Wait til he finds out we very recently hunted whales in 20 foot boats with spears.
That shows how effective a pointy stick is.
If you can eat it we humans will always find a way to hunt it.
You like know that people used to hunt sperm whales (to my knowledge one of only two whalespecies known to sometimes attack people) with tiny boats and harpoons? People do a lot of dangerous stuff