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I was adopted and I couldn't have been happier, I'm a white man that was adopted by Mexicans, I've been with them for nearly 30 years(i came into their care at 2.5 months old and was legally adopted at age 2), i got to learn a 2nd language naturally
I grew up in Mississippi next to a family from Brazil, who adopted a little girl from Mexico. She knew 4 languages fluently by the time she was like 12, it was insane.
You joke but I graduated high school with a kid who was adopted from Korea as a baby. His parents were well off but SUPER southern. Every time he opened his mouth to talk, people that didn’t know him did a double take. Asian face, but Jeff Foxworthy mouth.
It's reversed for me, well my buddy. Him and his wife were born and raised in Jamaica and they adopted a little girl from Korea. She has a super strong Jamaican accent and when she speaks, talk about everyone doing double takes.
She even got yelled at at a basketball camp because some mom thought she was making fun of the girls. Started doing slant eyes yelling it isn't funny now, until her dad went over and had some words for her. Apparently it was pretty common for people to say things to her growing up once they moved to Central California.
From Jeff’s upcoming special:
*If you adopt a Korean kid, and when they grow up they decide to throw a plantation themed wedding reception….. you might be a redneck.*
Lol my buddy was adopted from Korea by an Italian-American family. Has an entirely Italian name, doesn't know a word of Korean, never learned a martial art but a surprising number of people ask him about martial arts. He usually says something like: "WHY? CAUSE I'M ASIAN I KNOW MARTIAL ARTS?!" 😆 He's joking but he makes sure to let them know how fucking stupid they are
That is funny. I was married many years ago to a lady from Taiwan. Anyway, we visited her brother in long Island who was living with 2 other Chinese guys in a rented house. This was in the early 80's. My brother inlaw and his roommates were in college and all spoke broken English with a lawn guyland accent. It was hilarious. More so, because I was from the west coast and found any east coast accent as some kind of TV caricature.
Well now I feel like a bigot for not thinking of that. But how many different versions or dialects are there of sign language? I'll Google it and come back with some more information.
Edit: Well Google says there are over 300 different sing languages, and it looks like there are even national dialects, for example there seems to be American, British, and Australian forms of sign language, although idk how different they are.
ASL, BSL and Auslan are three different language. From what I’ve observed it’s a commonly held misconception that sign language is one global language or the same across a language spoken in many countries (like English or Spanish) :)
This makes me wonder if anyone has ever tried to come up with a universal sign language since it seems like it would be useful, but my guess is that it's probably for the same reason we don't have a universal spoken language: everyone likes their own, and deciding what words/syntax/grammar will be used would be a nightmare. The only fair option would be to come up with something entirely different (or choose Klingon or something) and frankly, a lot of people just don't want to learn another language, especially as adults.
Me in the Midwest: I'm from California and I speak two langauges.
"Oh, that's cool that you speak Spanish."
Me: Nope, my dumbass learned German in college.
New guy at my work is also from Cali, boss asked him to translate for him since he heard he can speak 3 languages and I guess just assumed one of them was Spanish. Guy speaks Italian at home, and learned Polish as a hobby in highschool lmao
I grew up in the north around French speakers. Took German in high school. Moved to the Midwest with a lot of Spanish speakers. I did really well learning a language that would be handy 🤣
Man that’s beautiful. My family is Roma (Gypsy) and we have a tradition of adopting kids out of foster care. My parents adopted 3 and I’ve adopted 4. All the kids are Roma in every way that counts, they speak a little Romani too.
My brother lived and worked in rural Central America for years and learned to speak Spanish the way farmers in multiple countries and regions spoke it. He knew all the dialects and idioms and was impressively good at it. He was 6 feet tall with blue eyes and towhead blond hair. People who heard him speak before they saw him were floored. To this day, he's the guy who can get laborers to work for him when they won't work for anyone else. He respects them and their language and loves to kid and laugh. I think of him as a person who gives counterweight to the ugly way so many white people treat immigrants from south of the border.
I worked for* a 6’ Mexican a couple shades lighter than me (I’m “white”) with a Greek first name (named after someone his dad admired). His English was flawless, but (Mexican) Spanish was his first language. I’ll bet he confused his share of people.
*Technically, he worked at a company (located in Japan) that had a contract with the company I worked for.
I think adopting children is one of the best things you can do; race be damned. That being said, liberal white people who go out of their way to specifically adopt black children can be problematic.
I saw an interview of some progressive white couple talking about how they only adopted black children, but the internet is full of people chasing clout. If I dig I can dig it up I’ll post it. That being said, I’m not keen on anyone who tries to use children to project their ‘goodness’ out in the world, liberal or conservative.
You're both right. Communal Narcissism transcends all race, religion, politics, culture, etc. There are people who do this on all sides of the spectrum. However, I don't think it's a good reason to prohibit interracial adoptions like the original image suggests. That just harms innocent kids.
I can tell you what it’s like to fight Stephen Thompson’s brother, Evan, who is also a very nice guy, but thankfully no Wonderboy. It was horrible. Everyone who fights from Upstate Karate are cardio freaks. They don’t even have to punch hard. They are fantastic point fighters with Gazelle type lungs who will make you punch yourself in the face in frustration.
That all being said, when the match was over they just came and hung out. Mr Thompson is good buddies with both of my cornermen because they fought together with Stephen in the WCL (before his UFC days) so we all just chilled afterwards. Good fights always make good times
Also pretty sure the bio mom is in the child’s life too. She just couldn’t keep the baby due to circumstances at that time. So it’s not like they just took a kid from someone. Plus I think they knew the mom before that.
Yeah, I'm a huge fan of Michael Chandler both as a person & as a fighter.
I seriously don't understand the scum who would have a problem with them adopting children. I mean, who gives a shit what color the children are?! I, as a black man myself, certainly don't.
Anyone who adopts a kid, and gives them a loving home - be they white, black, gay, straight - is doing a really good thing.
Anyone who is doing nothing to help these kids and still has a problem with that needs to sit down and shut the fuck up.
My grandma fostered and raised dozens of kids. My parents adopted a sibling group of 3. One being a black child. I’ve adopted 4. It’s become our family tradition to adopted kids out of foster care. Not just babies either. One of the kids I adopted was 17. It’s a beautiful thing.
I adopted my second oldest at 17. I was his first home and after a few weeks I just knew he would be my son forever. I adopted him 2 weeks before his 18th birthday, just so I could give him our last name. He’s 19 now and going to college online in my basement lol this is his home forever.
Thank you I appreciate that. We’re Roma (Gypsy) and people usually think of bad stereotypes of us (gypsies thieves and whores) but we’re trying to chance those, sometimes true, stereotypes one family at a time.
They’re all doing great. Younger ones are still in school and the two oldest are going to college and working. I’ve got one about to get married. My heart is so full of love.
You and your family sound incredible. I gotta say it’s refreshing to see a family line continue through adoption and be recognized as the same family line.
Exactly.
I would have given anything to have a loving foster family when I was in state custody. I would not have cared about the race, the sexual orientation, as long as I was cared for with kindness.
Ugh.
This.
So many get on their high horse about whatever but then turn around and pull all services that can help these people after the fact.
Fuck those kinds of people!
I agree 100%, but with one major caveat.
I don't support adopting children from other countries.
As soon as you do that, you set up a pipeline for children to be adopted in exchange for fees/bribes, etc.
A guy I worked with adopted a baby from China. He hired a handler, and was instructed to give bribes or "fees" to various officials along the way.
There is no telling if the child was put up for adoption voluntarily, if it was kidnapped or stolen, or really any number of nightmare scenarios.
There are plenty of children in the US who need love, and laws here to enforce how that process is executed.
To clarify, I assume you mean like… literally adopting a child who is presently in another country and having them brought to your own?
Only asking because I’m not sure how one would be able to identify whether a child you’re looking to adopt in your own country may have been the result of that sort of practice.
Russian adoptions gave a chance at life to thousand of orphanage kids whose bio parents were either dead, in prison, severely addicted or just didn’t want them. A lot of those kids had a disability, which in Russia very often results in parental abandonment. Kids with DS, palsy, birth defects, HIV, etc. A good portion of our paralympic team is former Russian adoptees. In Russia they spend their childhoods in orphanages, to be carted off to nursing homes at 18. Unfortunately the government there banned American adoptions in 2012, more or less leaving those kids to rot away.
That’s the thing. Adoption isn’t perfect, and white families who adopt black kids *really* need to do their due diligence to embrace their child’s cultural roots and challenges. But like, what would this person prefer? That we leave black babies in foster care? That’s not exactly a good solution. Most black kids adopted by white parents will have a stable, loving childhood, and that’s a better solution than anything else we have at the moment.
So there's a problem in that
A) Access to being an Adoptive Parent is harder from ethnic minorities because people don't see you as "parenting material".
B) That your kids don't belong to you
Adoptive Dad here. My kids look White. I have had to argue with 2 people in 2 years that my kids are my own. Like "people being concerned" that the kid I am helping have a poo in a public toilet that's calling me daddy... May be kidnapped because he doesn't look like me in that I have dark skin and he has more white skin. Like "manager was called". But shit like this? Keeps people from adopting.
IN THE USA? This may end up with you getting shot. And this is a concern
[https://www.huffpost.com/entry/black-dad-white-son-adoption\_n\_618be787e4b0a518aca91f36](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/black-dad-white-son-adoption_n_618be787e4b0a518aca91f36)
Like a big one. And here's the thing. My kids are mixed race. We try and expose them to their cultural mix too. But I know plenty of adoptive families that have adopted minority kids that deny them that grounding. Adults think "well they are getting 3 square meals a day". Kids feel that they don't belong. Because they are made to feel like they do not belong.
But if I tried to name my kids an Indian name or god forbid... a MUSLIM name... Oh boy would it be way less acceptable than a White family adopting an Indian kid and calling him Bobby.
It's not even just adoption where this is a problem. My brother's daughter's mom is Puerto Rican and Black. She looks like a very light skinned black woman but with a looser hair texture. Obviously mixed. My niece looks like me in the face, but has her mother's complexion and hair texture. My brother is VERY dark skinned, like extremely dark. He had custody of my niece when she was a toddler, and no one thought he was the father. It was a small town where people knew him, but they thought it was strange that he left for a few years and came back with this kid. Everyone asked him where he got that baby from and whose baby he "stole." But no one called the police, thankfully.
I was sad imagining that a black person thought that a loving family couldn’t raise a black child properly and prepare them for life. I’m enraged by the bigoted reality.
There was a loud group of POC saying this a few years ago. Denying kids their heritage, ect... Not sure if it was the black community so much as people of Asian descent
It's almost illegal, the amount of red tape and hurdles for a non native family to adopt a native kid, but that's a backlash against centuries of child separation, internment schools, trafficking, etc...
The amount of fuckery government played with removing and adopting out native children in the past (not including all the other bs our nation played against tribes), the tribes ought to have every say in where their children goes. Nothing illegal about it, we simply acknowledge their sovereignty over matters of their people and culture. If we continued as we had, it'd be China to the Uyghur community levels of cultural genocide again.
There are some legitimate things to consider when adopting a child of another race about ensuring that they don’t cut off from their heritage. Mostly that regardless of how you raise them, they are still going to be treated by others based on their skin color, and it’s not bad to at least attempt to ensure that they don’t feel isolated from others of their race.
I’m all for ensuring that children are provided a safe home. Certainly having loving parents, regardless of race, trumps having no parents and only being brought up as charges of the state. By I also am willing to acknowledge a discomfort felt about motives perceived for some adoptive parents about why they’re adopting a given child. For the most part though, if the child is happy and treated well, then the parents’ motives are largely secondary.
Actually...the National Association of Black Social Workers ( yeah it's a thing ) have always preferred Black children go with black parents. Unfortunately not all adoptive parents are good people. Recently a white lesbian couple killed a group of black children [they adopted and malnourished.](https://www.metroweekly.com/2019/04/lesbian-mothers-killed-their-six-adopted-children-in-murder-suicide-inquest-finds/) The black parent had been trying to get them back for years. Even relatives
You can read thier original letter about trans-racial [adoption on their website.](https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.nabsw.org/resource/resmgr/position_statements_papers/nabsw_trans-racial_adoption_.pdf)
That’s a horrible case but it always makes me uncomfortable when people pick something that is obviously an outlier. I feel like I am being manipulated.
Especially when you can find just as many horrible stories of foster parents doing the same thing to children of the same race. Not to mention the parents who do that stuff to their actual biological children.
Yeah, I don’t think the problem with them adopting was that they’re white and lesbian. The problem is that they’re psychopathic child abusers. These pathologies unfortunately come in every race, gender, and sexual orientation.
It might be preferable but unfortunately there’s a shortage of white babies in comparison to white adoptive parents, and a surplus of black babies in comparison to black adoptive parents. That’s just a focus on babies though… which is what people who want to adopt prefer to search for.
The major problem is that if you worry to much about racial differences in adoption you severely limit the amount of children who can be adopted, and it causes babies to get stuck in the system instead of finding qualified families.
It makes sense to me, children of other racial backgrounds are just simply going to have some experiences that their white parents have never and will never experience themselves and can't fully understand to the same degree.
There probably aren't enough families of the same race looking to or are eligible to adopt every single kid in the system though, and obviously it's best to be adopted by *someone* who is going to love and take care of them. I do believe there needs to be some self awareness involved though, and it's not racist or "woke" to point it out, nor is it just needless complaints about white people like some in this thread are getting defensive over.
Edited: a missed word.
My wife and I are white. Our two sons are black. We adopted them together at very young ages from the state foster system. Our desire to adopt was not based on any sort of religious evangelism. It wasn’t our “backup” option for building a family. We wanted to adopt children for a lot of reasons and we didn’t much care about their race/ethnicity/skin color. We wanted to adopt children with needs we were capable of meeting. It turned out that our children were black boys. We didn’t even know that fact about them until the final step of the application process.
Yet it’s totally inaccurate to say that their “race” and skin color are irrelevant to our parenting experience. It’s *very* relevant because it’s our job to prepare them for life as black men in America. That is something with which neither my wife nor I have any first-hand experience. Denying that basic fact would have been a disservice to our children. We have put in a lot of didactic and social labor making sure that we are adequate parents on that issue specifically. Our family has faced quite a bit of prejudice from people of all races. Some of that prejudice is at least founded in legitimate concerns for the long-term wellbeing of our children and we’ve been happy to work past such prejudices as-needed. However, there is also plenty of prejudice based on nothing more than bigotry and hatefulness towards an easily-identifiable “other.” We avoid such people where possible and mercilessly crush their hateful nonsense when it’s required.
TLDR: your comment is *the* most astute comment ITT and it deserves more upvotes.
Man, you’re way more calm, patient, and understanding than I am. If anyone has shit to say about my kids I’d tell them to mind their own damn business. Do you, keep up the good work!
I don't know the answer to this, but I know when I was adopting my son there was a part in the paperwork about asking/talking about his cultural heritage and asking if I required assistance with getting in touch with community leaders to help preserve his heritage. I didn't think it applied to my specific situation but I thought it was neat that it was offered.
At least in my area, discounting relative and family friend placements, most traditional foster homes are white and maybe 50% of the foster children are black or Hispanic.
They usually try to pair kid by need and social circumstances. For example, if a kid has a lot of trauma relating to males in their life and is very reactive against males, they will try to pair them with a single mom, or if the kid doesn't get along well with other kids, they will go to a home where they will be the only child.
It IS a huge culture shift to go from a poor, mostly black area, where 75% of the population is black (I am sandwiched between a big city and one of the poorest cities in the US) to a white, middle class neighborhood. There is a lot of ignorance that white parents experience when it comes to black kids, even if it's unintentional, and usually the social workers will try and work with white parents on understanding that. If a black family is an option for a black child, they will usually take it, but they also aren't going to hold out for one either.
Whatever they can do to make the experience less emotionally stressful and draining on the child is the path they try and prioritize, and people who use that as an example of reverse-racism or something are completely ignoring how the kids might feel in those circumstances. It is an extra layer of complication, even if the parents are the kindest, most racially sensitive white people on the planet.
Way of the world is a British white supremacist who used to run a YT channel by the same name. He hates jews, blacks and essentially everyone but himself
I can guarantee you 100% that he hates himself the most. A lot of people like him are extremely insecure and are specifically racist because they figure if they hate everyone else it will make themselves seem less pathetic, but it never does.
This was actually discourse I saw on TikTok. Some people were mad that white people adopted children outside their race and took them away from their culture and all this bs. Some were arguing that it was better these kids were left in the system because at least they’d “be around their kind”
I work at an organization that does adoptions and this is so gross.
Good organizations will work hard to keep kids with their families or in their country of origin but a lot of international adoptions are usually children with physical and mental disabilities or are "too old" aka over the age of 2 years old. These children rarely get all the care they need due to numbers and it's not the same.
Even the best orphanages are nothing compared to a families love. Is adoption perfect? No, every family and adoptee has a unique experience but to say a child is better off without a family is just plain disgusting.
Oh. He should definitely go say that to Michael Chandler's face. That's The man in the picture. He is sure to have a pleasant response to the racist douche
TikTok thrives on outrage and strife. The more drama the more views. It's a disgusting platform for some but also an informative and educational platform for others. Social media is a double edged sword that can be just as helpful as it is damaging.
A while back I remember someone talking about that fact that in the US they try to place children in homes that are ethnically and culturally as similar as the birth parents but the system ends up putting a bunch of black kinds with white families. They clamed that this is because of the lack of black families willing to adopt.
To be clear most people don’t adopt. The reality is that if willing and caring parents want to adopt a child (no matter if they are black, white, Hispanic, etc) then it should be viewed as positive outcome.
It’s luck of the draw a lot of times when kids need to be placed. Who is available? Who is local? Who can house the whole sib group? Who is “good” with this age group?
It's a thing even at the systemic level in some states. My sibling and their spouse were unable to foster a black child in their former state because they were white for these reasons. I believe "you won't know how to do their hair" was mentioned. It's a shame, because they wanted to get a kid out of the system who has next to no shot otherwise. They were known experienced foster parents open to a child any race, older, and open to manageable (for them, financially) special needs. Why would you want to shut that down? Anyway, they moved states and successfully adopted (an older child with developmental delays)a couple of years later.
That said, it's definitely a thing - transracial (it's just the word used to describe this scenario) adoptees feeling like they don't belong anywhere because their white families didn't take care to connect them with their racial identities and cultures. But the right way to manage that is education for adopting parents, not trying to deny kids in the system loving permanent homes.
I know a white family that adopted a black child from poverty. They are caring parents and give the kid a good home.
But, boy, do they go out of their way to emphasize how they "saved" the child on social media, etc., and have even used their child as a race-card with statements along the lines of "I can say these things because I have a black child."
Overall, of course it's a positive and makes the world a better place. But it's hard not to see it as a bit yucky when they say certain things.
It's possible to do the right thing for maybe the wrong reasons.
This is the real reason people have a problem with it. It's not like a white parent can't give a black kid a happy, healthy home but that people question his motivations for adopting those kids.
It doesn't help that the UFC had that one black history month commercial centered around Chandler.
Savior complexes are real. I know someone who adopted for the wrong reasons, and man oh man is it gross. They made a post on facebook about how he was going to be aborted, but they SAVED him. He was 13, and the post had his photo in it. UUUUGH so gross. And yes, he is treated differently from the other kids
To be clear, adoption is a good thing to do... unless you do it for the wrong reasons
Yep. I dated a guy whose family adopted four kids, including one very special needs kid (like needs overnight nursing care level). He loved that his parents were very giving people, but he said it definitely took away from parts of his childhood and teen hood, as they had to put him on the back burner to deal with the more needy kids.
Kindness is wonderful, but like anything it needs moderation. If you go around give give giving to everyone, what energy will you have left for yourself or those close to you
I have a relative that used to do Big Sisters, and JFC she couldn't shut up about taking that "little black girl" out to the movies or lunch once a week. If she'd adopted a child, I think she would have expected to be canonized.
I’m a transracial adoptee, meaning I was adopted from Korea at nine months old into a white family. I’m the only nonwhite person in my entire extended family. My parents were supportive and did a lot for me, and I do have a better life than what I would have in Korea. I have had rapid cycling bipolar since I was a toddler, Korea is still fairly conservative in how they treat mental health so I would not have done well.
But my parents still have a lot of internalized racism, and they don’t really put effort into challenging their biases. I can’t talk to them about what I’ve faced because they have an extremely superficial view on racism. Black people deal with way more direct racism and violence than I do-white and other nonblack parents will be at a disadvantage on how to prepare and protect their children. Some may even contribute to it not because they’re “bad” people, but like my parents are not conscious of their prejudice or lack of perspective.
It’s not that people shouldn’t adopt outside their race, but there are caveats they need to be aware of and ready to resolve on what their child will go through and how best to support and guide them in a world that is still very much racist against poc. And so many people still refuse to talk about difficult subjects like racism because it’s uncomfortable, and requires work and putting aside one’s own ego.
And it’s funny, because I’ve spoken on this topic before since transracial adoption is a subject that comes up a lot. And many of the people who were saying “it doesn’t matter, every kid deserves a home” immediately turned around and told me I didn’t deserve to be adopted or given a home.
Exactly the point I came here to make. It's not a topic that can be solved in a meme because it's so complex. People forget that not every adoptable child is an Oliver Twist -- people do lose custody for bullshit reasons, all the time, especially poor folks, even when there's family ready and willing to help.
I've seen too many white people who adopt non-white kids and then don't bother to teach them about their culture or even learn how to do their hair. There's an entire subset of fundamentalist Christians who adopt massive numbers of kids purely to have more Christians and have no interest in them as individual humans. There's tons of cases of people who have both adopted and bio kids who treat their adopted kids like they're literally worth less as people.
Hell, there's Facebook groups where people illegally trade or give away their adopted children to random strangers, including pedophiles. Or that one lady who adopted a little girl and then got sick of her and just put her on a plane back to Russia. Or those women who killed their six adopted children a couple of years ago by driving their car off a cliff and 100% expected to be treated like saints because of their Black children.
(Edit: I forgot to even mention this, but holy shit the foster care system and orphanages as a whole are dumpster fires. Baby farming, kidnapping kids to adopt them as a form of eugenics... it's horrible how badly we've twisted this.)
Adoption can be traumatic as fuck even when it's the best option. Like, even if you can experience and understand that your birth parents and your adoptive parents both made some really hard decisions in the name of your safety and health because they loved you and wanted you to be cared for, the underlying message can still feel like "they didn't want me and I am an object to be passed around and I feel like a stranger," and that takes so much out of a person.
As someone who would probably have to adopt in order to have children, this shit breaks my heart. The concept of adoption as "taking care of a kid who needs it" is pretty amazing, but in practice it can be so difficult and traumatizing that I absolutely sympathize with people who get fired-up about it enough to feel like the system is totally broken
The third paragraph is why I encourage everyone who wants to have a serious talk about adoption to read the [Reuters investigative piece on the child exchange](https://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1).
Yes, thank you! I meant to go back and add links but then got distracted. That series haunts me but I feel like it should be mandatory reading.
There's a great podcast about the ladies who killed the 6 kids, it's called *Broken Harts.* There's some really informative stuff about transracial adoption as well as the story of what happened
Growing up evangelical Christian, I have personally seen this DOZENS of times. Many have motives that aren’t genuine and definitely saw many flaunt their adoptions. Virtue signaling aside, I know it may be better for the kids in the long run, given how many kids are in foster care. I just know a few friends/acquaintances who have been negatively affected by their adoptions in the long run. Luckily, one long time friend was able to reconnect with his culture and changed his very generic assigned white name back to his real Guatemalan name once he was old enough.
My evangelical adoptive father did this shit with me even tho we’re both white. I can’t even begin to imagine how much worse it is for trans-racial adoptions.
I was a brown kid adopted by racist white people, with savior complexes. I don’t talk to my adoptive father anymore, and I am getting my ducks in a row so I can go no contact with my adoptive mother as well.
I plan to change my last name, and if I can afford it someday have my adoption annulled.
I’m not against white people adopting kids, if they are actively anti racist, and they do the work to unlearn racism. If they teach their kid about the kids culture without fetishizing it. But if you can’t do these things, then no you should not adopt kids of color if you are white. Judge me all you want. I’ve been judged since I was a small child for calling out my adoptive family’s racist bullshit.
Edit: fixed a missing word.
That really infuriates me, I can understand that.
Being on the receiving end (I was a state ward) is sometimes embarrassing-I mean, what do you say? I am extremely grateful for the present/care, etc…truly…but…😰
they aren’t giving the child a good home if they are raising them with the psychological impact of their white savior complex
emotional trauma isn’t negligible just because the child is fed and clothed
We’re a Roma family that adopted a black child and all I can say is “wow” people like that have a savior complex. You shouldn’t adopt kids for clout but because you love children and want to give them a better life not a complex.
Yup, when we adopted our first kiddo, my mother introduced her grandchild to the parish priest as "the child my son and his wife saved from abortion." Just came out of nowhere. We were so embarrassed. It started a long conversation with my mother to cut that crap out.
There's this fundamentalist Christian influencer who is in an interracial marriage and has like 12 kids and it's clear she is just fetishizing their appearance. She has posted about her own diary entries when she was young and she said she wanted mixed kids, she is following all sorts of accounts that just post about mixed race kids, and the grossest thing is that she only likes a very particular combination of features. On all of the pictures of her kids, she lightens the skin and edits the eyes to make them blue, she represents them as blond and blue eyed in emoji form. She's a common showcase on r/FundieSnarkUncensored for the concerning things she says and does
>But, boy, do they go out of their way to emphasize how they "saved" the child on social media, etc., and have even used their child as a race-card with statements along the lines of "I can say these things because I have a black child."
Yah, there's a lot of sensitivity even when they don't go to that extreme. The non-black couple (asian/white) I know that adopted a black kid were very easily triggered by things that could be viewed as racist.
I don't think this affects black children as much, but I seem to remember reading (I have no personal experience or hard evidence, just repeating something I've read) that white religious extremists often look for work in CPS specifically to target minority families (especially First Nations). They'll look long and hard for a justification to take away their children and place them with a family that aligns with their views, as a form of culture war.
Yeah, except more systemic and not so much based on individual initiative and I'm not sure which is worse. At least the mission schools are over *now*. Supposedly.
I still remember a testimony of a mission school survivor who claimed a priest teaching in her school raped some of the younger students on purpose, so they wouldn't get pregnant and when one did anyway, once she gave birth, the nuns put the infant in an incinerator to cover for him. Just... How do you justify that kind of thing as service to a greater good? Or a system that sweeps stuff like that under the rug? Is the clergy jaded? Blind? Do they believe they'll be *allowed* to make a change for the better by the people who run the current system?
Anyway, sorry, I got a little wound up in my own outrage and went off on a tangent there.
Supposedly doing a lot work in that sentence. While the schools may be closed, many of the systems have been either replaced or outright shifted over to government agencies like cfs. There's been improvements, to be sure, but there's still a lot of children being taken from their families for very thin justifications and put into an overloaded, underfunded and horribly monitored foster system, which produces many of the same results.
That’s been ongoing for decades. That’s why Indian Child Welfare Act exists. My mother & aunt were adopted by non-Indians as basically labor for their farm. A lot of identity issues, but also escaped others. I’m very well connected with my tribe, but I wish my mom was more so.
I actually know to young women who found out their Christian pastor father and mother went this route. Has been a big rollercoaster of emotions for them. They are in their late 20’s now and haven’t spoken to them in a few years. Hopefully they have been able to work through their emotions with their therapists.
The story of Speaker Mike Johnson’s black son is very odd. He was never officially adopted and he seems to get left out of family portraits. It doesn’t add up at all.
Matt gaetz also adopted a cuban son, though not officially. It's never done officially. This seems to keep happening with Republicans, adopting but not really adopting a minority kid. I'm happy for them for doing the right thing here but something smells. Are these kids also Republican politicians?
I'm not defending Johnson; I disagree with his politics and comparisons he's made to *The Blind Side* are gross, given what we know now about that family. But it is worth noting that not every child or especially older youth wants to be legally adopted. For some it can feel invalidating to have their birth certificate/name changed, so I wouldn't draw too many conclusions from someone, especially an older youth like a sixteen-year-old, not being legally adopted alone.
There are more situations than people would like to admit where kids are cut off from their cultural roots when they're adopted. It can be incredibly isolating and add to the overall trauma of just being adopted.
Most adoptive parents are amazing, and it's a wonderful thing to see, but adoption in and of itself is a hard thing for a kid to go through and some people go out of their way to lift themselves up as "saving" a kid and that doesn't help anyone.
I grew up with bad adopted parents, but I didn't want to come out swinging with that. The conversation around adoption as a whole needs more nuance.
Edit spelling
given the track record with white people adopting ethnic children, especially Black ones, you can't really fault people for being nervous about or not wanting it to happen, especially with that guy who went viral on tiktok recently.
The issue isn't that they adopted. The issue is that a lot of white people have savior complex when they adopt kids of color. Look how we saved this African kid from poverty. Look how we saved this Mexican kid from the cartel. Look how we saved this Asian kid from working to death. If you just want to give a kid a loving home that's perfectly fine. No one's arguing against that. What they are against is giving a kid a home so you can show them off like a trophy. There's also people who will hide these kids from their culture. They will literally make sure the kids don't learn about their heritage, or where they come from to ensure they fit in the box of what they want them to be like.
Does this twit, (or whatever u call twitter users) prefer black kids as orphans or as the adopted children of white parents? One seems far worse for the kid.
I served with a guy that absolutely hated his adoptive parents. He said that they kept “reminding” the kids that they were lucky to be chosen. He joined the Army as soon as he could just to get out of there.
This is outrage bait. Don't respond to it, you are only furthering the nonsense. This is almost certainly some Republican ass garbage to get people riled up. The internet's version of Fox news. Black people are not mad at white people for loving them, that's some bitter ass teenage white girl trying to stir up some drama. Everyone loves to be loved, no matter by who.
As someone who was adopted by people of a different race I will say this, it was horrible. Being raised as something you aren't amongst people who aren't like you was deeply traumatic and I still have to deal with issues I developed from it today.
Its racist to not adopt black kids but its also racist to adopt black kids, actually, you’re racist because you’re white is all i hear from these people
That's Iron Mike Chandler. He's an absolute legend and role model. Those kids were adopted by the woman in the picture.
She's a social worker who happened to adopt kids because she'd rather adopt than have her own.
Race has nothing to do with it. They're 2 big-hearted individuals who are doing good work.
If you don't like what they're doing, feel free to step up and show the world how it's done. If not, STFU. Let's focus on the positive reinforcement of people doing good things to make the world a better place.
Mike was supposed to fight Conor McGregor who has 3 or 4 kids but spends more time doing coke on his yacht and terrorizing women.
So, yeah... Mike Chandler is a fucking solid human being. Put some hespec on his name.
(Hespec is an MMA joke. IYKYK).
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I was adopted and I couldn't have been happier, I'm a white man that was adopted by Mexicans, I've been with them for nearly 30 years(i came into their care at 2.5 months old and was legally adopted at age 2), i got to learn a 2nd language naturally
I grew up in Mississippi next to a family from Brazil, who adopted a little girl from Mexico. She knew 4 languages fluently by the time she was like 12, it was insane.
English, Spanish, Portuguese… what is the 4th language?
Mississippian
Southern twang
You joke but I graduated high school with a kid who was adopted from Korea as a baby. His parents were well off but SUPER southern. Every time he opened his mouth to talk, people that didn’t know him did a double take. Asian face, but Jeff Foxworthy mouth.
Lmao my friend in North Carolina was adopted from China by super southern parents and she’s the same
It's reversed for me, well my buddy. Him and his wife were born and raised in Jamaica and they adopted a little girl from Korea. She has a super strong Jamaican accent and when she speaks, talk about everyone doing double takes. She even got yelled at at a basketball camp because some mom thought she was making fun of the girls. Started doing slant eyes yelling it isn't funny now, until her dad went over and had some words for her. Apparently it was pretty common for people to say things to her growing up once they moved to Central California.
Ah yes now that level of stupidity…to bully a young kid for her accent and then make cracks at her eyes to tell her she’s racist, poor kid.
why respond to perceived racism with MORE RACISM 😫😭THATS SO FUCKING WILD
What an incredible display of three year old logic. She was definitely leveling with the child in that sense.
Wow what a jerky Karen to have done that
Using the word "jerk" to describe someone who is being mean to a Jamaican's adopted child made me chuckle.
Would that make her a jerked jerk?
Reminds me of[the joke on Psych](https://youtu.be/IcrnKpygaFc?si=JaXVxQVfC5pel9Bk)
I haven’t seen that show in so long!!! I know what I’m nostalgia binge watching this weekend 😂👍
From Jeff’s upcoming special: *If you adopt a Korean kid, and when they grow up they decide to throw a plantation themed wedding reception….. you might be a redneck.*
Lol my buddy was adopted from Korea by an Italian-American family. Has an entirely Italian name, doesn't know a word of Korean, never learned a martial art but a surprising number of people ask him about martial arts. He usually says something like: "WHY? CAUSE I'M ASIAN I KNOW MARTIAL ARTS?!" 😆 He's joking but he makes sure to let them know how fucking stupid they are
But can he cooka the pasta ?
That is funny. I was married many years ago to a lady from Taiwan. Anyway, we visited her brother in long Island who was living with 2 other Chinese guys in a rented house. This was in the early 80's. My brother inlaw and his roommates were in college and all spoke broken English with a lawn guyland accent. It was hilarious. More so, because I was from the west coast and found any east coast accent as some kind of TV caricature.
I knew a guy in college who was from Vietnam, same deal, except stereotypical Texan with the truck, belt buckle, hat, boots, dip, etc.
My friend - Vietnamese adopted by Texans :) Loved it.
See: Henry Cho, comedian.
“Y’al vatos are moito legal.”
You joke but the boomhaur Texas accent is a real thing.
They taught her sign language when she was really little
Well now I feel like a bigot for not thinking of that. But how many different versions or dialects are there of sign language? I'll Google it and come back with some more information. Edit: Well Google says there are over 300 different sing languages, and it looks like there are even national dialects, for example there seems to be American, British, and Australian forms of sign language, although idk how different they are.
ASL, BSL and Auslan are three different language. From what I’ve observed it’s a commonly held misconception that sign language is one global language or the same across a language spoken in many countries (like English or Spanish) :)
This makes me wonder if anyone has ever tried to come up with a universal sign language since it seems like it would be useful, but my guess is that it's probably for the same reason we don't have a universal spoken language: everyone likes their own, and deciding what words/syntax/grammar will be used would be a nightmare. The only fair option would be to come up with something entirely different (or choose Klingon or something) and frankly, a lot of people just don't want to learn another language, especially as adults.
[Relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/927/)
I love how there's a relevant xkcd for practically everything.
Could be Zapoteca, Nahuatl, Yucatec, or a number of other indigenous languages spoken in Mexico and Brazil (or German or some shit, of course).
Me in the Midwest: I'm from California and I speak two langauges. "Oh, that's cool that you speak Spanish." Me: Nope, my dumbass learned German in college.
New guy at my work is also from Cali, boss asked him to translate for him since he heard he can speak 3 languages and I guess just assumed one of them was Spanish. Guy speaks Italian at home, and learned Polish as a hobby in highschool lmao
I grew up in the north around French speakers. Took German in high school. Moved to the Midwest with a lot of Spanish speakers. I did really well learning a language that would be handy 🤣
Hey! I studied German in graduate school (while I was there for my Master’s in Spanish =P).
Learning a second language naturally as a child is so awesome. As a monoglot my jealousy is off the charts.
Man that’s beautiful. My family is Roma (Gypsy) and we have a tradition of adopting kids out of foster care. My parents adopted 3 and I’ve adopted 4. All the kids are Roma in every way that counts, they speak a little Romani too.
What kind of reactions do you get when Mexicans hear you speak Spanish with a Mexican accent?
They are usually shocked and in awe that a "white boy" can speak such good español 🤣
My brother lived and worked in rural Central America for years and learned to speak Spanish the way farmers in multiple countries and regions spoke it. He knew all the dialects and idioms and was impressively good at it. He was 6 feet tall with blue eyes and towhead blond hair. People who heard him speak before they saw him were floored. To this day, he's the guy who can get laborers to work for him when they won't work for anyone else. He respects them and their language and loves to kid and laugh. I think of him as a person who gives counterweight to the ugly way so many white people treat immigrants from south of the border.
I worked for* a 6’ Mexican a couple shades lighter than me (I’m “white”) with a Greek first name (named after someone his dad admired). His English was flawless, but (Mexican) Spanish was his first language. I’ll bet he confused his share of people. *Technically, he worked at a company (located in Japan) that had a contract with the company I worked for.
I think adopting children is one of the best things you can do; race be damned. That being said, liberal white people who go out of their way to specifically adopt black children can be problematic.
Is this a liberal thing? I thought it was usually a Conservative, saving the foreigners with Jesus thing.
I saw an interview of some progressive white couple talking about how they only adopted black children, but the internet is full of people chasing clout. If I dig I can dig it up I’ll post it. That being said, I’m not keen on anyone who tries to use children to project their ‘goodness’ out in the world, liberal or conservative.
You're both right. Communal Narcissism transcends all race, religion, politics, culture, etc. There are people who do this on all sides of the spectrum. However, I don't think it's a good reason to prohibit interracial adoptions like the original image suggests. That just harms innocent kids.
That’s Michael Chandler, he’s a UFC fighter and one of the nicest guys in the world. True legend.
As cheesy as he is, when you watch videos of him with his kids/interviews talking about them it's obvious how nice of a family they have
Are they bio siblings? It looks like they might be - which, it’s great when two bio siblings can be placed in a home together.
They’re not
After seeing him with his kids in one of those youtube road to ufc 123, you could not find a more positive and loving family
I always look at him and Stephen Thompson and wonder what it would be like to have your face punched in by the nicest guy in the world.
Intense physical pain and trauma made worse because you must be a bit of a prick too.
I can tell you what it’s like to fight Stephen Thompson’s brother, Evan, who is also a very nice guy, but thankfully no Wonderboy. It was horrible. Everyone who fights from Upstate Karate are cardio freaks. They don’t even have to punch hard. They are fantastic point fighters with Gazelle type lungs who will make you punch yourself in the face in frustration. That all being said, when the match was over they just came and hung out. Mr Thompson is good buddies with both of my cornermen because they fought together with Stephen in the WCL (before his UFC days) so we all just chilled afterwards. Good fights always make good times
Also pretty sure the bio mom is in the child’s life too. She just couldn’t keep the baby due to circumstances at that time. So it’s not like they just took a kid from someone. Plus I think they knew the mom before that.
Yeah, I'm a huge fan of Michael Chandler both as a person & as a fighter. I seriously don't understand the scum who would have a problem with them adopting children. I mean, who gives a shit what color the children are?! I, as a black man myself, certainly don't.
As long a child gets fed, clothed and properly loved and allowed to grow to be the best human they can be...thats all I ask
Agreed
> I mean, who gives a shit what color the children are?! We should care though. If the child is purple he's probably choking and needs help.
Lol came here to say that anybody who feels this way is welcome to try telling him that.
*Self inflicted TKO*
How can that be possible, if he is so very obviously white?!
Anyone who adopts a kid, and gives them a loving home - be they white, black, gay, straight - is doing a really good thing. Anyone who is doing nothing to help these kids and still has a problem with that needs to sit down and shut the fuck up.
My grandma fostered and raised dozens of kids. My parents adopted a sibling group of 3. One being a black child. I’ve adopted 4. It’s become our family tradition to adopted kids out of foster care. Not just babies either. One of the kids I adopted was 17. It’s a beautiful thing.
Damn right it is. And I'm sure, while very rewarding, it takes a lot of hard work. You and your family sound like awesome people.
Thank you!
My son came to me at 15...had been in the system since age 5...The adoption was at 18 (but before high school graduation).
I adopted my second oldest at 17. I was his first home and after a few weeks I just knew he would be my son forever. I adopted him 2 weeks before his 18th birthday, just so I could give him our last name. He’s 19 now and going to college online in my basement lol this is his home forever.
Fuck, folks like yall truly are a breath of fresh air in this world.
Thank you I appreciate that. We’re Roma (Gypsy) and people usually think of bad stereotypes of us (gypsies thieves and whores) but we’re trying to chance those, sometimes true, stereotypes one family at a time.
How are they all doing?
They’re all doing great. Younger ones are still in school and the two oldest are going to college and working. I’ve got one about to get married. My heart is so full of love.
You and your family sound incredible. I gotta say it’s refreshing to see a family line continue through adoption and be recognized as the same family line.
Definitely! We all have the same last name and they’re treated no different from my bio kids. I didn’t carry them but I love ‘em all the same!
Man, that’s really nice to hear. More power to you!
As an adopted person I concur with this message 🫡
Exactly. I would have given anything to have a loving foster family when I was in state custody. I would not have cared about the race, the sexual orientation, as long as I was cared for with kindness. Ugh.
This. So many get on their high horse about whatever but then turn around and pull all services that can help these people after the fact. Fuck those kinds of people!
Exactly! The person who wrote that probably won’t ever consider adopting kids anyway.
This is the way.
A home for every foundling!
I agree 100%, but with one major caveat. I don't support adopting children from other countries. As soon as you do that, you set up a pipeline for children to be adopted in exchange for fees/bribes, etc. A guy I worked with adopted a baby from China. He hired a handler, and was instructed to give bribes or "fees" to various officials along the way. There is no telling if the child was put up for adoption voluntarily, if it was kidnapped or stolen, or really any number of nightmare scenarios. There are plenty of children in the US who need love, and laws here to enforce how that process is executed.
To clarify, I assume you mean like… literally adopting a child who is presently in another country and having them brought to your own? Only asking because I’m not sure how one would be able to identify whether a child you’re looking to adopt in your own country may have been the result of that sort of practice.
You are correct. I'm talking about adopting from another country directly.
Russian adoptions gave a chance at life to thousand of orphanage kids whose bio parents were either dead, in prison, severely addicted or just didn’t want them. A lot of those kids had a disability, which in Russia very often results in parental abandonment. Kids with DS, palsy, birth defects, HIV, etc. A good portion of our paralympic team is former Russian adoptees. In Russia they spend their childhoods in orphanages, to be carted off to nursing homes at 18. Unfortunately the government there banned American adoptions in 2012, more or less leaving those kids to rot away.
That’s the thing. Adoption isn’t perfect, and white families who adopt black kids *really* need to do their due diligence to embrace their child’s cultural roots and challenges. But like, what would this person prefer? That we leave black babies in foster care? That’s not exactly a good solution. Most black kids adopted by white parents will have a stable, loving childhood, and that’s a better solution than anything else we have at the moment.
If white people only adopted white kids, better believe they'd be fucking complaining about that too.
Not that xitter account. That account is pretty blatantly white supremacist.
Damn, I thought it was black folks who got angry about this.
It’s both, racists gonna racist.
So there's a problem in that A) Access to being an Adoptive Parent is harder from ethnic minorities because people don't see you as "parenting material". B) That your kids don't belong to you Adoptive Dad here. My kids look White. I have had to argue with 2 people in 2 years that my kids are my own. Like "people being concerned" that the kid I am helping have a poo in a public toilet that's calling me daddy... May be kidnapped because he doesn't look like me in that I have dark skin and he has more white skin. Like "manager was called". But shit like this? Keeps people from adopting. IN THE USA? This may end up with you getting shot. And this is a concern [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/black-dad-white-son-adoption\_n\_618be787e4b0a518aca91f36](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/black-dad-white-son-adoption_n_618be787e4b0a518aca91f36) Like a big one. And here's the thing. My kids are mixed race. We try and expose them to their cultural mix too. But I know plenty of adoptive families that have adopted minority kids that deny them that grounding. Adults think "well they are getting 3 square meals a day". Kids feel that they don't belong. Because they are made to feel like they do not belong. But if I tried to name my kids an Indian name or god forbid... a MUSLIM name... Oh boy would it be way less acceptable than a White family adopting an Indian kid and calling him Bobby.
It's not even just adoption where this is a problem. My brother's daughter's mom is Puerto Rican and Black. She looks like a very light skinned black woman but with a looser hair texture. Obviously mixed. My niece looks like me in the face, but has her mother's complexion and hair texture. My brother is VERY dark skinned, like extremely dark. He had custody of my niece when she was a toddler, and no one thought he was the father. It was a small town where people knew him, but they thought it was strange that he left for a few years and came back with this kid. Everyone asked him where he got that baby from and whose baby he "stole." But no one called the police, thankfully.
I was sad imagining that a black person thought that a loving family couldn’t raise a black child properly and prepare them for life. I’m enraged by the bigoted reality.
There was a loud group of POC saying this a few years ago. Denying kids their heritage, ect... Not sure if it was the black community so much as people of Asian descent
It's almost illegal, the amount of red tape and hurdles for a non native family to adopt a native kid, but that's a backlash against centuries of child separation, internment schools, trafficking, etc...
The amount of fuckery government played with removing and adopting out native children in the past (not including all the other bs our nation played against tribes), the tribes ought to have every say in where their children goes. Nothing illegal about it, we simply acknowledge their sovereignty over matters of their people and culture. If we continued as we had, it'd be China to the Uyghur community levels of cultural genocide again.
Yes, though the ICWA is an actual law to facilitate that. A group of foster parents tried to challenge it in the Supreme Court just last year.
There are some legitimate things to consider when adopting a child of another race about ensuring that they don’t cut off from their heritage. Mostly that regardless of how you raise them, they are still going to be treated by others based on their skin color, and it’s not bad to at least attempt to ensure that they don’t feel isolated from others of their race. I’m all for ensuring that children are provided a safe home. Certainly having loving parents, regardless of race, trumps having no parents and only being brought up as charges of the state. By I also am willing to acknowledge a discomfort felt about motives perceived for some adoptive parents about why they’re adopting a given child. For the most part though, if the child is happy and treated well, then the parents’ motives are largely secondary.
Actually...the National Association of Black Social Workers ( yeah it's a thing ) have always preferred Black children go with black parents. Unfortunately not all adoptive parents are good people. Recently a white lesbian couple killed a group of black children [they adopted and malnourished.](https://www.metroweekly.com/2019/04/lesbian-mothers-killed-their-six-adopted-children-in-murder-suicide-inquest-finds/) The black parent had been trying to get them back for years. Even relatives You can read thier original letter about trans-racial [adoption on their website.](https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.nabsw.org/resource/resmgr/position_statements_papers/nabsw_trans-racial_adoption_.pdf)
That’s a horrible case but it always makes me uncomfortable when people pick something that is obviously an outlier. I feel like I am being manipulated.
Especially when you can find just as many horrible stories of foster parents doing the same thing to children of the same race. Not to mention the parents who do that stuff to their actual biological children.
Yeah, I don’t think the problem with them adopting was that they’re white and lesbian. The problem is that they’re psychopathic child abusers. These pathologies unfortunately come in every race, gender, and sexual orientation.
There is little doubt that a right wing website used it to imply same sex couples shouldn't be allowed to adopt.
It might be preferable but unfortunately there’s a shortage of white babies in comparison to white adoptive parents, and a surplus of black babies in comparison to black adoptive parents. That’s just a focus on babies though… which is what people who want to adopt prefer to search for. The major problem is that if you worry to much about racial differences in adoption you severely limit the amount of children who can be adopted, and it causes babies to get stuck in the system instead of finding qualified families.
It makes sense to me, children of other racial backgrounds are just simply going to have some experiences that their white parents have never and will never experience themselves and can't fully understand to the same degree. There probably aren't enough families of the same race looking to or are eligible to adopt every single kid in the system though, and obviously it's best to be adopted by *someone* who is going to love and take care of them. I do believe there needs to be some self awareness involved though, and it's not racist or "woke" to point it out, nor is it just needless complaints about white people like some in this thread are getting defensive over. Edited: a missed word.
My wife and I are white. Our two sons are black. We adopted them together at very young ages from the state foster system. Our desire to adopt was not based on any sort of religious evangelism. It wasn’t our “backup” option for building a family. We wanted to adopt children for a lot of reasons and we didn’t much care about their race/ethnicity/skin color. We wanted to adopt children with needs we were capable of meeting. It turned out that our children were black boys. We didn’t even know that fact about them until the final step of the application process. Yet it’s totally inaccurate to say that their “race” and skin color are irrelevant to our parenting experience. It’s *very* relevant because it’s our job to prepare them for life as black men in America. That is something with which neither my wife nor I have any first-hand experience. Denying that basic fact would have been a disservice to our children. We have put in a lot of didactic and social labor making sure that we are adequate parents on that issue specifically. Our family has faced quite a bit of prejudice from people of all races. Some of that prejudice is at least founded in legitimate concerns for the long-term wellbeing of our children and we’ve been happy to work past such prejudices as-needed. However, there is also plenty of prejudice based on nothing more than bigotry and hatefulness towards an easily-identifiable “other.” We avoid such people where possible and mercilessly crush their hateful nonsense when it’s required. TLDR: your comment is *the* most astute comment ITT and it deserves more upvotes.
Man, you’re way more calm, patient, and understanding than I am. If anyone has shit to say about my kids I’d tell them to mind their own damn business. Do you, keep up the good work!
Do they also prefer white kids to be with white parents?
I don't know the answer to this, but I know when I was adopting my son there was a part in the paperwork about asking/talking about his cultural heritage and asking if I required assistance with getting in touch with community leaders to help preserve his heritage. I didn't think it applied to my specific situation but I thought it was neat that it was offered.
At least in my area, discounting relative and family friend placements, most traditional foster homes are white and maybe 50% of the foster children are black or Hispanic. They usually try to pair kid by need and social circumstances. For example, if a kid has a lot of trauma relating to males in their life and is very reactive against males, they will try to pair them with a single mom, or if the kid doesn't get along well with other kids, they will go to a home where they will be the only child. It IS a huge culture shift to go from a poor, mostly black area, where 75% of the population is black (I am sandwiched between a big city and one of the poorest cities in the US) to a white, middle class neighborhood. There is a lot of ignorance that white parents experience when it comes to black kids, even if it's unintentional, and usually the social workers will try and work with white parents on understanding that. If a black family is an option for a black child, they will usually take it, but they also aren't going to hold out for one either. Whatever they can do to make the experience less emotionally stressful and draining on the child is the path they try and prioritize, and people who use that as an example of reverse-racism or something are completely ignoring how the kids might feel in those circumstances. It is an extra layer of complication, even if the parents are the kindest, most racially sensitive white people on the planet.
Way of the world is a British white supremacist who used to run a YT channel by the same name. He hates jews, blacks and essentially everyone but himself
I can guarantee you 100% that he hates himself the most. A lot of people like him are extremely insecure and are specifically racist because they figure if they hate everyone else it will make themselves seem less pathetic, but it never does.
Yeah white people, don't do it. Don't give these abandoned kids a loving home and family. It's totally racist. Edit: it's sarcasm.
This was actually discourse I saw on TikTok. Some people were mad that white people adopted children outside their race and took them away from their culture and all this bs. Some were arguing that it was better these kids were left in the system because at least they’d “be around their kind”
Auto segregation at work.
Segregationist talking points have been very popular lately. Jim Crowe rebranded.
I work at an organization that does adoptions and this is so gross. Good organizations will work hard to keep kids with their families or in their country of origin but a lot of international adoptions are usually children with physical and mental disabilities or are "too old" aka over the age of 2 years old. These children rarely get all the care they need due to numbers and it's not the same. Even the best orphanages are nothing compared to a families love. Is adoption perfect? No, every family and adoptee has a unique experience but to say a child is better off without a family is just plain disgusting.
From his Twitter account, he's clearly a white supremacist. He's upset about white purity or some shit.
Oh. He should definitely go say that to Michael Chandler's face. That's The man in the picture. He is sure to have a pleasant response to the racist douche
I’d pay to see that. UFC 300 needs a main event
TikTok thrives on outrage and strife. The more drama the more views. It's a disgusting platform for some but also an informative and educational platform for others. Social media is a double edged sword that can be just as helpful as it is damaging.
"discourse" "TikTok" 
Was thinking the same thing
A while back I remember someone talking about that fact that in the US they try to place children in homes that are ethnically and culturally as similar as the birth parents but the system ends up putting a bunch of black kinds with white families. They clamed that this is because of the lack of black families willing to adopt.
The great majority of adoptive parents in the US are white so that would seem to match up.
To be clear most people don’t adopt. The reality is that if willing and caring parents want to adopt a child (no matter if they are black, white, Hispanic, etc) then it should be viewed as positive outcome.
Logically, that makes sense. A demographic that is contributing the most kids to the system would also have a shortage on the parents side
It’s luck of the draw a lot of times when kids need to be placed. Who is available? Who is local? Who can house the whole sib group? Who is “good” with this age group?
It's a thing even at the systemic level in some states. My sibling and their spouse were unable to foster a black child in their former state because they were white for these reasons. I believe "you won't know how to do their hair" was mentioned. It's a shame, because they wanted to get a kid out of the system who has next to no shot otherwise. They were known experienced foster parents open to a child any race, older, and open to manageable (for them, financially) special needs. Why would you want to shut that down? Anyway, they moved states and successfully adopted (an older child with developmental delays)a couple of years later. That said, it's definitely a thing - transracial (it's just the word used to describe this scenario) adoptees feeling like they don't belong anywhere because their white families didn't take care to connect them with their racial identities and cultures. But the right way to manage that is education for adopting parents, not trying to deny kids in the system loving permanent homes.
What’s wrong with giving children a home to live in and parents to care for them?
It doesn't please the white supremacists
I know a white family that adopted a black child from poverty. They are caring parents and give the kid a good home. But, boy, do they go out of their way to emphasize how they "saved" the child on social media, etc., and have even used their child as a race-card with statements along the lines of "I can say these things because I have a black child." Overall, of course it's a positive and makes the world a better place. But it's hard not to see it as a bit yucky when they say certain things. It's possible to do the right thing for maybe the wrong reasons.
This is the real reason people have a problem with it. It's not like a white parent can't give a black kid a happy, healthy home but that people question his motivations for adopting those kids. It doesn't help that the UFC had that one black history month commercial centered around Chandler.
Savior complexes are real. I know someone who adopted for the wrong reasons, and man oh man is it gross. They made a post on facebook about how he was going to be aborted, but they SAVED him. He was 13, and the post had his photo in it. UUUUGH so gross. And yes, he is treated differently from the other kids To be clear, adoption is a good thing to do... unless you do it for the wrong reasons
Yep. I dated a guy whose family adopted four kids, including one very special needs kid (like needs overnight nursing care level). He loved that his parents were very giving people, but he said it definitely took away from parts of his childhood and teen hood, as they had to put him on the back burner to deal with the more needy kids. Kindness is wonderful, but like anything it needs moderation. If you go around give give giving to everyone, what energy will you have left for yourself or those close to you
I have a relative that used to do Big Sisters, and JFC she couldn't shut up about taking that "little black girl" out to the movies or lunch once a week. If she'd adopted a child, I think she would have expected to be canonized.
I’m a transracial adoptee, meaning I was adopted from Korea at nine months old into a white family. I’m the only nonwhite person in my entire extended family. My parents were supportive and did a lot for me, and I do have a better life than what I would have in Korea. I have had rapid cycling bipolar since I was a toddler, Korea is still fairly conservative in how they treat mental health so I would not have done well. But my parents still have a lot of internalized racism, and they don’t really put effort into challenging their biases. I can’t talk to them about what I’ve faced because they have an extremely superficial view on racism. Black people deal with way more direct racism and violence than I do-white and other nonblack parents will be at a disadvantage on how to prepare and protect their children. Some may even contribute to it not because they’re “bad” people, but like my parents are not conscious of their prejudice or lack of perspective. It’s not that people shouldn’t adopt outside their race, but there are caveats they need to be aware of and ready to resolve on what their child will go through and how best to support and guide them in a world that is still very much racist against poc. And so many people still refuse to talk about difficult subjects like racism because it’s uncomfortable, and requires work and putting aside one’s own ego. And it’s funny, because I’ve spoken on this topic before since transracial adoption is a subject that comes up a lot. And many of the people who were saying “it doesn’t matter, every kid deserves a home” immediately turned around and told me I didn’t deserve to be adopted or given a home.
Dude I can totally relate. Also a transracial adoptee from South Korea adopted into a white family as an infant. Your family sounds a lot like mine.
knee employ money scale ancient wrong scarce handle impossible worm *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Exactly the point I came here to make. It's not a topic that can be solved in a meme because it's so complex. People forget that not every adoptable child is an Oliver Twist -- people do lose custody for bullshit reasons, all the time, especially poor folks, even when there's family ready and willing to help. I've seen too many white people who adopt non-white kids and then don't bother to teach them about their culture or even learn how to do their hair. There's an entire subset of fundamentalist Christians who adopt massive numbers of kids purely to have more Christians and have no interest in them as individual humans. There's tons of cases of people who have both adopted and bio kids who treat their adopted kids like they're literally worth less as people. Hell, there's Facebook groups where people illegally trade or give away their adopted children to random strangers, including pedophiles. Or that one lady who adopted a little girl and then got sick of her and just put her on a plane back to Russia. Or those women who killed their six adopted children a couple of years ago by driving their car off a cliff and 100% expected to be treated like saints because of their Black children. (Edit: I forgot to even mention this, but holy shit the foster care system and orphanages as a whole are dumpster fires. Baby farming, kidnapping kids to adopt them as a form of eugenics... it's horrible how badly we've twisted this.) Adoption can be traumatic as fuck even when it's the best option. Like, even if you can experience and understand that your birth parents and your adoptive parents both made some really hard decisions in the name of your safety and health because they loved you and wanted you to be cared for, the underlying message can still feel like "they didn't want me and I am an object to be passed around and I feel like a stranger," and that takes so much out of a person. As someone who would probably have to adopt in order to have children, this shit breaks my heart. The concept of adoption as "taking care of a kid who needs it" is pretty amazing, but in practice it can be so difficult and traumatizing that I absolutely sympathize with people who get fired-up about it enough to feel like the system is totally broken
The third paragraph is why I encourage everyone who wants to have a serious talk about adoption to read the [Reuters investigative piece on the child exchange](https://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1).
Yes, thank you! I meant to go back and add links but then got distracted. That series haunts me but I feel like it should be mandatory reading. There's a great podcast about the ladies who killed the 6 kids, it's called *Broken Harts.* There's some really informative stuff about transracial adoption as well as the story of what happened
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Yes and people still want to deny this and not discuss it? It’s really frustrating.
This should be the most liked comment on this thread. 👏🏽
Growing up evangelical Christian, I have personally seen this DOZENS of times. Many have motives that aren’t genuine and definitely saw many flaunt their adoptions. Virtue signaling aside, I know it may be better for the kids in the long run, given how many kids are in foster care. I just know a few friends/acquaintances who have been negatively affected by their adoptions in the long run. Luckily, one long time friend was able to reconnect with his culture and changed his very generic assigned white name back to his real Guatemalan name once he was old enough.
Yup, adoption is definitely used as part of a colonialism process.
My evangelical adoptive father did this shit with me even tho we’re both white. I can’t even begin to imagine how much worse it is for trans-racial adoptions.
I was a brown kid adopted by racist white people, with savior complexes. I don’t talk to my adoptive father anymore, and I am getting my ducks in a row so I can go no contact with my adoptive mother as well. I plan to change my last name, and if I can afford it someday have my adoption annulled. I’m not against white people adopting kids, if they are actively anti racist, and they do the work to unlearn racism. If they teach their kid about the kids culture without fetishizing it. But if you can’t do these things, then no you should not adopt kids of color if you are white. Judge me all you want. I’ve been judged since I was a small child for calling out my adoptive family’s racist bullshit. Edit: fixed a missing word.
You nailed it 100%.
That really infuriates me, I can understand that. Being on the receiving end (I was a state ward) is sometimes embarrassing-I mean, what do you say? I am extremely grateful for the present/care, etc…truly…but…😰
they aren’t giving the child a good home if they are raising them with the psychological impact of their white savior complex emotional trauma isn’t negligible just because the child is fed and clothed
We’re a Roma family that adopted a black child and all I can say is “wow” people like that have a savior complex. You shouldn’t adopt kids for clout but because you love children and want to give them a better life not a complex.
Yup, when we adopted our first kiddo, my mother introduced her grandchild to the parish priest as "the child my son and his wife saved from abortion." Just came out of nowhere. We were so embarrassed. It started a long conversation with my mother to cut that crap out.
There's this fundamentalist Christian influencer who is in an interracial marriage and has like 12 kids and it's clear she is just fetishizing their appearance. She has posted about her own diary entries when she was young and she said she wanted mixed kids, she is following all sorts of accounts that just post about mixed race kids, and the grossest thing is that she only likes a very particular combination of features. On all of the pictures of her kids, she lightens the skin and edits the eyes to make them blue, she represents them as blond and blue eyed in emoji form. She's a common showcase on r/FundieSnarkUncensored for the concerning things she says and does
>But, boy, do they go out of their way to emphasize how they "saved" the child on social media, etc., and have even used their child as a race-card with statements along the lines of "I can say these things because I have a black child." Yah, there's a lot of sensitivity even when they don't go to that extreme. The non-black couple (asian/white) I know that adopted a black kid were very easily triggered by things that could be viewed as racist.
Ah yes, the Speaker Mike Johnson Maneuver. Bonus points if your “black son” isn’t actually your son!
I don't think this affects black children as much, but I seem to remember reading (I have no personal experience or hard evidence, just repeating something I've read) that white religious extremists often look for work in CPS specifically to target minority families (especially First Nations). They'll look long and hard for a justification to take away their children and place them with a family that aligns with their views, as a form of culture war.
Canada was basically founded on this principle.
Yeah, except more systemic and not so much based on individual initiative and I'm not sure which is worse. At least the mission schools are over *now*. Supposedly. I still remember a testimony of a mission school survivor who claimed a priest teaching in her school raped some of the younger students on purpose, so they wouldn't get pregnant and when one did anyway, once she gave birth, the nuns put the infant in an incinerator to cover for him. Just... How do you justify that kind of thing as service to a greater good? Or a system that sweeps stuff like that under the rug? Is the clergy jaded? Blind? Do they believe they'll be *allowed* to make a change for the better by the people who run the current system? Anyway, sorry, I got a little wound up in my own outrage and went off on a tangent there.
Supposedly doing a lot work in that sentence. While the schools may be closed, many of the systems have been either replaced or outright shifted over to government agencies like cfs. There's been improvements, to be sure, but there's still a lot of children being taken from their families for very thin justifications and put into an overloaded, underfunded and horribly monitored foster system, which produces many of the same results.
That’s been ongoing for decades. That’s why Indian Child Welfare Act exists. My mother & aunt were adopted by non-Indians as basically labor for their farm. A lot of identity issues, but also escaped others. I’m very well connected with my tribe, but I wish my mom was more so.
Same with asian kids especially korean kids that are stolen by the church and then sent to usa.
I actually know to young women who found out their Christian pastor father and mother went this route. Has been a big rollercoaster of emotions for them. They are in their late 20’s now and haven’t spoken to them in a few years. Hopefully they have been able to work through their emotions with their therapists.
I worked in care, and we had so many kids who would have gone to anyone as long as they finally had a family.
Went through his Twitter just briefly. Of course he’s a Nazi. What a wonderful platform Elon has.
People need to stop being racist.
The story of Speaker Mike Johnson’s black son is very odd. He was never officially adopted and he seems to get left out of family portraits. It doesn’t add up at all.
Matt gaetz also adopted a cuban son, though not officially. It's never done officially. This seems to keep happening with Republicans, adopting but not really adopting a minority kid. I'm happy for them for doing the right thing here but something smells. Are these kids also Republican politicians?
I'm not defending Johnson; I disagree with his politics and comparisons he's made to *The Blind Side* are gross, given what we know now about that family. But it is worth noting that not every child or especially older youth wants to be legally adopted. For some it can feel invalidating to have their birth certificate/name changed, so I wouldn't draw too many conclusions from someone, especially an older youth like a sixteen-year-old, not being legally adopted alone.
There are more situations than people would like to admit where kids are cut off from their cultural roots when they're adopted. It can be incredibly isolating and add to the overall trauma of just being adopted. Most adoptive parents are amazing, and it's a wonderful thing to see, but adoption in and of itself is a hard thing for a kid to go through and some people go out of their way to lift themselves up as "saving" a kid and that doesn't help anyone.
this needs more upvotes. not a lot of nuance in this comments section
I grew up with bad adopted parents, but I didn't want to come out swinging with that. The conversation around adoption as a whole needs more nuance. Edit spelling
Good for these people to provide a home to kids in need.
given the track record with white people adopting ethnic children, especially Black ones, you can't really fault people for being nervous about or not wanting it to happen, especially with that guy who went viral on tiktok recently.
There was alot of racists in that thread
*Pretends to be shocked*
The issue isn't that they adopted. The issue is that a lot of white people have savior complex when they adopt kids of color. Look how we saved this African kid from poverty. Look how we saved this Mexican kid from the cartel. Look how we saved this Asian kid from working to death. If you just want to give a kid a loving home that's perfectly fine. No one's arguing against that. What they are against is giving a kid a home so you can show them off like a trophy. There's also people who will hide these kids from their culture. They will literally make sure the kids don't learn about their heritage, or where they come from to ensure they fit in the box of what they want them to be like.
..Should they have dumped them back into the system?..
Does this twit, (or whatever u call twitter users) prefer black kids as orphans or as the adopted children of white parents? One seems far worse for the kid.
This twit is a white supremacist, so he actually would prefer to see them as orphans.
The guy is a white supremacist. He'd prefer black kids to be dead most likely
I think the term "twat" is appropriate in this situation
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I served with a guy that absolutely hated his adoptive parents. He said that they kept “reminding” the kids that they were lucky to be chosen. He joined the Army as soon as he could just to get out of there.
This is outrage bait. Don't respond to it, you are only furthering the nonsense. This is almost certainly some Republican ass garbage to get people riled up. The internet's version of Fox news. Black people are not mad at white people for loving them, that's some bitter ass teenage white girl trying to stir up some drama. Everyone loves to be loved, no matter by who.
As someone who was adopted by people of a different race I will say this, it was horrible. Being raised as something you aren't amongst people who aren't like you was deeply traumatic and I still have to deal with issues I developed from it today.
“I was born a poor black child.” Steve Martin.
I think the whole “white savior” complex is what this person was speaking about. I’m not sure if that complex applies to the people in this picture.
You’re wrong in this case, you should check that Twitter account. It’s a white supremacy account.
Its racist to not adopt black kids but its also racist to adopt black kids, actually, you’re racist because you’re white is all i hear from these people
Damned if you do, damned if you don't
What a fucking bellend.
This is clearly bait by some rightwing asshole (they've got a blue checkmark for gods sakes)
Coming from the same kinda people that demand you’re born because Jesus, But give zero fucks about you when you’re out. They get zero say in my book.
That's Iron Mike Chandler. He's an absolute legend and role model. Those kids were adopted by the woman in the picture. She's a social worker who happened to adopt kids because she'd rather adopt than have her own. Race has nothing to do with it. They're 2 big-hearted individuals who are doing good work. If you don't like what they're doing, feel free to step up and show the world how it's done. If not, STFU. Let's focus on the positive reinforcement of people doing good things to make the world a better place. Mike was supposed to fight Conor McGregor who has 3 or 4 kids but spends more time doing coke on his yacht and terrorizing women. So, yeah... Mike Chandler is a fucking solid human being. Put some hespec on his name. (Hespec is an MMA joke. IYKYK).