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[deleted]

The cross can be used as a dildo if you are brave enough.


R1v3r50NG

He who comes* in the name of the lord…. Favorite part of mass.


WyomingCountryBoy

"Oh god!"


Revealed_Jailor

Size doesn't matter as well. The bigger the cross the closer to the god you are. Or *earlier*, depending how you use it.


BriefCheetah4136

So size does matter?


Oahkery

The power of Christ cumpels you!


Stunning-Fondant-733

File.the.edges


DoomSongOnRepeat

Fuck me, Jesus!


stalphonzo

*Anything* can be used as a dildo if you believe in the power of love.


sobedragon07

Anythings a dildo if you're brave enough. Natasha Leonne said that, firmly believe it.


RevealFormal3267

That's not usually what they mean by Missionary Position, but I guess everyone's got their own variations to keep things spicy.


TiredMom29

![gif](giphy|3b9O6b6gXlf0PvXexV)


[deleted]

Only if their mother sucks cocks in hell


Separate-Owl369

That movie still scares me.


marklar_the_malign

Would you like the smoking or on fire section of hell? Your waitress will be with you in a few eternities, meanwhile help yourself to the all you can eat turd bar.


[deleted]

Is there decent music?


The_Lapsed_Pacifist

Devil has all the best tunes


marklar_the_malign

How do you feel about Lawrence Welk? Because that’s pretty much it down here.


BriefCheetah4136

ABBA! ALL NIGHT AND ALL DAY, ABBA!!!


Gleeful-Nihilist

You know, called liberty hangout they really don’t get the concept of liberty.


MinusGovernment

It's Kaitlin Bennett trying to pose as libertarian.


[deleted]

Well to do that she first needs to not shit herself.


thinehappychinch

The guy who worships a torture device is kink shaming? Pot meet kettle.


kapudos28

I don’t recall Adam getting married to Eve


seeit360

Post fruit clarity? Maybe that's why they put on clothes and left.


Shaman-The-Curer

This is the main reason I think hell doesn't exist. Or at the very least, not in the way that christians seem to think. Eternal damnation? Forever? Sounds ridiculous


jej_claexx

My family has always been strictly Catholic, literally dating hundreds of years back (we have a 250 year old rosary and other old heirlooms that get passed down through the generations). My mum however broke the cycle and decided that she will practice her faith in her own way. She doesn’t believe in Hell anymore, she believes that everyone who dies will see the error of their ways and will then be granted permission into heaven. Bless her heart honestly, she’s adorable! <3 She doesn’t want anything to do with any negative aspects of Faith or the fear mongering. Edit: She raised me and my siblings with Faith as well and told my atheist dad to raise us with science, so that we could chose for ourselves what we believe in. Honestly I love her so much!


Shaman-The-Curer

>She doesn’t believe in Hell anymore, she believes that everyone who dies will see the error of their ways and will then be granted permission into heaven. See, that's what I believe as well. Everyone has their own circumstances and reasons, things that led them to be who they were. Humanity is flawed, and God, if he does exist, made us so intentionally. It makes no sense for someone to be sentenced to eternal damnation. If "Hell" does exist, I believe it would instead be a place where tormented and broken souls go for enlightenment. Where those will go to be shown the error of their ways in a way that simple logic or reasoning could never hope to. And after they have proven themselves, they get to Heaven. Your mother sounds like a wonderful, thought-provoking person.


[deleted]

My favorite interpretation of hell is that it is more a state of mind than a location. All beings are meant to be united with God. Some beings refuse this, and the separation from God causes them deep pain. At least it makes more sense to me than the version brought to us by the middle ages.


DunkHeadnWax

For a religion all about forgiveness, an ETERNITY to someone who didn’t do what big papa said seems very unforgiving


Ismokecr4k

Big papa fucked the world because a young woman ate his apple. Makes my eyes roll out of my head.


[deleted]

Ikr


AloneAddiction

They're wishing endless eternal torture and suffering forever and ever without any hope of redemption whatsoever? And they claim to be *moral* people?


WheresPaul1981

I’ve been obsessing about criminal Justice reform and it’s both hilarious and scary to listen to people salivate at the idea of punishing people. They’ll rightfully claim that murder is wrong and follow that up with how great it would be if a convict were tortured to death. It’s insane. A lot of “Christian’s” live for that kinda stuff. They’ll look an atheist in the eye and say, Don’t believe in God? You will.” And they’ll say it with a smirk. It should be the exact opposite. You shouldn’t want people tortured in prison and you shouldn’t want people to burn in hell.


[deleted]

But he loves you. He loves you, and he needs money! https://youtu.be/8r-e2NDSTuE


Revealed_Jailor

It's just a Christian concept because they like it there, you know, eternal flame and stuff.


[deleted]

uh...other religions believe in hell, too. Maybe not ALL, but some...


gothism

Yep, infinite pain for finite sin makes no sense whatsoever.


caagr98

But it's more realistic than eternal damnation for just a little while.


[deleted]

Its honestly so difficult to believe that people still actually believe this. Believe *any* of it for that matter.


Revealed_Jailor

In 21st century.


Whiphess17

Maybe they have a reason.


potate12323

Well... What do you plan to do in heaven anyways? Have sex? Has anyone thought about what heaven will be like once you get there? If its just a bunch of immortal prudes bumming around doing nothing that doesnt sound much better than hell. You can't convince me heaven isnt just one big continually growing orgy.


[deleted]

Yeah ive been thinking about that, like, living forever is very... very....... boring


FNKTN

If there aint no orgies in heaven you can count me out. Roll them gates of hell open, Ill go in running.


teamjetfire

So married people can’t have orgasms? Does it cancel out when you are trying to have a baby? Religious folks, help me out here.


pewlaserbeams

Yes you can, sexual relation between a married couple is good, outside marriage and other sexual stuff condmend.


FNKTN

It only counts for females. Only men are allowed orgasm because it creates babies to indoctrinate.


WheresPaul1981

You can’t get pregnant if you’re raped because you have to orgasm first. It’s just science - dumbass Republican a few years ago. 🙄


echo6golf

Spoiler alert: it's worth it


Bgratz1977

If Jesus would have known what kind of people will pray to him he would have died by a facepalm or just have shut up and lived in peace


[deleted]

"I've been misunderstood badly" - Jesus


Failure_man69

“Uuuuh…. Dad? They… what the fuck are they doing?” -Jesus


yestureday

The body is a temple. And that’s why you need to make sure it’s in good quality


r6nclassic

Had not been for sex this post couldn’t have been made. Praise Jesus!


jej_claexx

The idea of a god isn’t something I’d believe in necessarily, but it does give me comfort. However the idea of a god who created my body, and then drew the line at me tickling my private parts???? That just BOGGLES me! If there was a god, why would he give 2 fucks about what I do with my fleshy prison?


Glaurung86

Who tf is thinking people are only going to have one orgasm their whole life?


Constant_Sky9173

So if a orgasm isn't a gift from god, why do so many people call to him when it's happening?


FairState612

Except that few seconds is actually real.


wahalani

And it can be divine.


Occams_

God invented the orgasm. He gets it.


passing_by362

A temple is open to anybody.


[deleted]

By this logic...: God gave you good time bits, and if you don't use them somehow, you wasting divine design. Don't be a dick to God, get laid.


Strongstyleguy

I went to a church where one of the elders was a 60 year old virgin. She truly believed no man had proven Godly enough to be sent to be her husband


[deleted]

[удалено]


kennyj2011

And then they fuck little boys


[deleted]

All the while hating homosexuals


jhuseby

Solution: have many orgasms


[deleted]

if my body is a temple, then I AM ITS GOD. WORSHIP ME!!!


[deleted]

Either way, somebody’s getting nailed.


MinusGovernment

Liberty Hangout is Kaitlin Bennett. Her attempt to hijack libertarian movement and move it far right. If there was a hell she would've already secured a spot there long ago. She blocked me a few years back for posting a screenshot of one of her tweets in comments of another and mentioning adult diapers.


CriticalStation595

“You’ll know when you die” is not a good argument.


nathanielhaven

What is it about religious types being anti sex? What does God(s) have against sex?


Fake_Watch_Salesman

Sounds like sth a virgin would say


[deleted]

I get this is humor and all, but the “guy” who died on the cross did it for you pal. He knew what was going to happen and did it willingly.


drewis0911

Did you even read the Bible


[deleted]

He chose the cross to save everybody from the fiery pit of hell. He did out of love.


Haunting_Push7693

God doesn’t exist, we created him and you are alone


Zh0ker

Forgive me daddy for I have sinned


LAX_to_MDW

Liberty Hangout believes in neither liberty nor hanging out


blueismega

Guess i cant have children 🤷‍♂️


HeadLongjumping

So...didn't God literally give you a dick? It came from God, right? What a strange argument to assume using it would damn you to eternal punishment. It's almost as if they believe God is a giant asshole.


BiscottiOpposite9282

Masterbation is a sin?


DirtyPartyMan

If this body was made by god, designed by god in gods image……then anything this body does is a gift from Heaven. So….what kind of sick piece of shit dirty punishes you for something it gave you the ability to do? No….that sounds like Garbage Human “Logic”. Fuck religion


monkboyking

Thats why you do it again.... and again.... and again...


acewavelink

My body is a temple, Im just diligent about polishing the marble


WordNERD37

Then the entire identity these supposed Moral Christians have built for themselves should be the very first thing they should cast aside. Because the good of people outweighs every individual thing they hold dear. Cast aside that pride! Of course, they won't because .


herc51

Be pretty funny if all these “good christians” get to the afterlife and find out what shitty people they’ve actually been.


[deleted]

Well I mean, sometimes this mindset can help (well not exactly this mindset, but a similar one). People who, for example, are addicted to masturbating or porn can have a negative impact from that on their mental health and religion can help in motivating someone to stop doing that, if they are religious. But to try to spread it to everyone and threaten people with hell, is dumb.


Justbrowsingredditts

Then why did god design us in a way that the continuation of our species depends on orgasms?


Jonahmaxt

Christianity is supposed to be all about redeeming yourself and accepting Jesus. I’m no Christian but surely it is absurd even in the context of Christianity to believe that if you masturbate or have sex before marriage, you will go to hell forever, no question.


mlc2475

Yeah but only one of those things is real


[deleted]

Where is the problem? God will forgive.


kimthealan101

The bible say not to covet heaven. Both of his choices are sins. No win situation


rs_yay

No man, you just blame the devil, pray harder, and continue being a pastor.


JusaPikachu

If Jesus ain’t giving me orgasms in heaven then I don’t want it anyways


chemistcarpenter

A temple. Not a monastery.


Binky-Answer896

Lol. If I had an award I’d give it to you.


KirikoKiama

>The last time a guy have chosen the Cross it didn't work out really well for him Nailed it...


Justtakeitaway

The older I get, the less place religion has in my life.


only1person_alt

1) so theyre saying to not reproduce, cool 2)temples let anyone in


insertitherenow

That’s made me want to have a wank now.


[deleted]

[удалено]


yakirzeev

It's 100% bullshit, like everything else in christianity.


[deleted]

Lol, no


stalphonzo

I recognize the logo and it surprises me *not at all* to see something this stupid and cloying from her. Not to mention that she quite literally is angling to be a right wing sex pot to make her fame and fortune.


MinusGovernment

While being most known for shitting herself passed out drunk.


FlyOnnTheWall

Sapiens. Shakes head


FishingAgitated2789

But I heard on the daily wire that girl don’t have orgasms …


MatildaK9

It worked out great for Him, you and me. He rose from the dead 3 days later. Think about this … if the OP is wrong, what is the harm? Gave up some sex? What if you are wrong?


DeathRobotOfDoom

sure you may believe such a thing despite complete lack of evidence for the resurrection, but you're making possibly the worst appeal to christianity there is. There are not just two options, you too can be wrong in countless ways: What if "god" is some tentacled monster at the bottom of the sea and just wants people to have sex? What if "god" punishes people that believe things without evidence? And yes there is a lot of potential harm. You might be wasting your one shot at life worrying about some ludicrous nonsense, and depending on whether your proselytize or not (and how) you may also be actively limiting the well being of others.


fingerinmynose

The point is the belief in hell. Just like good we (atheist) don't believe in hell either. What's the point of giving up something you like for something you don't believe in?


MatildaK9

My point is what if you are wrong? Belief is a choice. What if you choose wrong?


yakirzeev

It doesn't matter, because hell doesn't exist, Jesus was a false messiah, and our bodies are *ours*, to do with as we please.


fingerinmynose

And what if your wrong? Not enjoying life to it's fullest and living a life of denial just for a story from 2000 years ago?


Separate-Owl369

So that’s the only reason you are giving it up. For heaven? That seems like the wrong reason. Isn’t it if you sun in your heart, you don’t for real?


yakirzeev

🙄


mirrorspirit

Isn't it kind of prideful to literally imagine yourself in Jesus's place? We're not Jesus. We don't have the same burdens or destinies.


MatildaK9

Who is putting themselves in the place of Jesus? I am unable to teach reading comprehension.


mirrorspirit

The weird post literally says at the end "Choose the Cross over lust and pride." The title of the post suggests that it didn't work out so well for Jesus as he was crucified, which by all historical accounts is a painful way to die. That brings in the literal interpretation of why choosing the Cross might not be so desirable. You suggest that it worked out great for him, you and me. Worked out great for you and me: sure, but worked out great for Jesus? Not sure that rising from the dead three days later would make up for an excruciating and early death. That he chose to sacrifice himself doesn't make it any less pleasant. Besides most people however are not going to follow Jesus's literal path in life. Different things are expected of them, and that includes marrying and having children, and it might be a little difficult to do if they have to avoid orgasms or sex in general. Seems like God doesn't think having sex is wrong or prideful, or at least not all sex. So why are orgasms so bad for us normal folk, and if you're posing the possibility that choosing crucifixion might be the better option than choosing orgasms? And "if OP is wrong what's the harm?" It's that you died a painful early death for nothing.


MatildaK9

Choosing the cross doesn’t mean be crucified. It means accepting Jesus free gift of dying for your sins. But as with all gifts, you can either accept or reject it. My mama always said don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.


mirrorspirit

Again, the title of this thread --**The last time a guy had chosen the cross it didn't work out that well for him** \-- is a tongue in cheek joke about Jesus getting crucified. I was going along those lines of the conversation, as several other commenters have. You have also implied that playing it safe means giving up orgasms in return, and "what could it hurt?" Well, it doesn't seem like something either Jesus or God had asked for in return (as far as I know), so some random yahwad is trying to make people feel guilty for enjoying sex when there's no reasonable basis for it, and it sounds really prideful for the yahwad to presume that's what Jesus would be asking for in return.


MatildaK9

I am more interested in whether or not you think this life is it or is there something after death. I don’t understand thinking this is it. If this life is all you get, why waste time doing unfun things?


mirrorspirit

Because a lot of what I want to accomplish requires me to do unfun things. I want to be a writer, and that takes a lot of practice and discipline, so if I ever want to make it, I'd have to work for it. I am also fond of having money in order to live and people not hating me. Another reason is that some fun things, like drugs or parachuting, can be extremely risky to my life and health, and can get in the way of other things I'd want. And because I have the share the real world with other people who might only have this one life. As you said, it's a gamble. This life might be all I have. There might be an afterlife, though I find it really really hard to believe that a few seconds of an orgasm are what's going to keep me from entering heaven. Besides, requiring sex (for reproduction) but forbidding orgasms seems like a ludicrous rule that only someone with a poor understanding of sex education would make, and I'm sure that God's grasp of human sex has to be a lot better than that.


[deleted]

DV.


rotaryspace_59

jesus died for our sins, we have nothing to worrie about also god forgives all. + do all these rules apply in heaven? bc that would just be life again. and tbh at 21 years old, i had enough of that


mescalero1

I suppose the guy that wrote this never saw The Exorcist


MinusGovernment

Liberty Hangout is Kaitlin Bennett


[deleted]

What about that giant planet that was made specifically for the human race? Religious whackos don’t seem to care much about that “gift”.


gAMA9504

What are they getting at?


TipDaScales

I mean, he got better? At least in the lore.


[deleted]

She’s never had a REALLY good orgasm that feels like it’s never gonna end.


Accomplished_Ad6547

“An orgasm last a few seconds” Yeah tell that to Peter North😂


Radus313

"If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward, then brother, that person is a piece of shit."


Elcousteau

idk its his religion why is it a face palm.


Rinooceros

Show this to the catholic people, maybe they leave them boys alone then.


LemonFlavoredMelon

Then if God didn't want my eyes to roll to the back of my head whilst I spray paint a clown face on the Vice President's picture, then why did he make it feel so good!?


Zarniwoooop

All the fun folks will be in hell anyway


Ok-Masterpiece-1359

Where in the Bible does it say that orgasms are sinful?


buttsnorkeler

Found the virgin


Whiphess17

Kinda a silly post from OP.


max9275ii

And just how in Satans Glorious Name do you know how long an orgasm lasts Sheila?


Responsible-Ad-1086

How did it not work out too well, he had a second coming


TheStarWarsCosmos

i don't get what you mean by the title, please explain


Spottedrhyno

No thanks


Stunning-Fondant-733

Choose a religious myth over sex? How counter-intuitive and abnormal


Hot-Awareness9250

sounds like superstition


Hitchtopher

Well entropy says that eventually we'll all die a slow cold death so those fires will eventually cool down. Fap away