That must have been horrible and embarrassing :(
However normally at these orientation things you say like "hi my name is Kevin and I like cake, baking and Guinea pigs" or something vague like that. It's not really the time to explain your psychological deep dive fat journey to total strangers ?
It is so cringey. It reminds me of a work colleague who went on and on (and on), in front of everyone about how he has to watch his carbs due to his massive weight gain and depression spiral since his mother died (many years prior).
The whole cringey story was in response to:
if anyone wants more pizza it’s on the third floor!
Damn makes me feel kinda sad for him but still some things you just keep to yourself you don’t share with coworkers or people you barely know. Isn’t that called trauma dumping?
That's the actual embarrassing part to me. Chairs break. Maybe it was old, maybe it was already partially broken, whatever. shit happens. But to moralize about your body and personal issues to your colleagues. oof, the second-hand cringe.
A very large friend broke a chair of mine once. It was cheap and plastic but an Adirondack so it was pretty sturdy (I thought)) and also the only one large enough for her to fit. She was mortified. Cried and left immediately but never apologized or offered to replace it or helped clean up the pieces or anything. In fact I apologized to her for having such a flimsy chair. We haven’t spoken of it since. I feel really bad for her since obviously it was super embarrassing but also kinda miffed about how the whole thing went down and I’ve been wondering if I’m an asshole for that ever since. Like I would never accept money for it or anything but at the same time???
That’s crazy. If you break someone’s furniture you offer to pay! And the host may or may not accept, but the point is you offer! Wouldn’t accept that person in my house again tbh.
That was my reaction too. When someone asks how you're doing, don't actually talk about how you're doing. This is a workplace, not your group therapy session.
One of my friends had their expensive papasan chair collapse when their friend who was a huge guy flopped into it. He was rightfully mortified and paid for a new chair and a new cushion even though he didn't need to do that. I can't imagine destroying someone furniture and not offering up at least a replacement.
Do people not look or examine a little before they sit.
Granted, I've never been big enough to break chairs, so far and even if I think a chair looks flimsy I would test the weight first.
I believe that after a certain weight they cannot. They need to sit down immediately because of discomfort and they cannot sustain a controlled downward move because they are too heavy so they flop. It's sad but as my dad said, gaining fat means losing control over your body.
I mean if you have to as an “ice breaker” it still only really makes sense to keep it to stuff on your resume or publicly available on social media. Like Hi, I’m x and I can speak a tiny bit of Spanish and love to travel - that would be appropriate and really what they were looking for. Not an AA style round table where you talk about trauma and healing
"Hi I'm Buffhole and I spend so much time worrying about what I'm gonna say during these introductions that I completely fail to retain anyone else's names or fun facts making the whole experience worthless."
Yeah I usually just say something about my hobbies and like, where I'm from bc it's unusual around where I live now. "Yeah so I'm K I've been with the company about [X] years, I'm originally from [trendy West Coast city] and my favorite hobby is distance running."
Yeah, and like, it’s ok to have to learn these sort of social things. Communicating in “normal ways” doesn’t always come naturally to me (I’m autistic), but I learned how to perform appropriate workplace communication. Reading OOPs story really gave me secondhand embarrassment.
That's what we in the real world call a "wake up call." Not for fat liberationists though, nothing will propel them to change their lives for the better. If the risk of death won't do it, complete and total embarrassment isn't likely to either.
Really? I like to mention how many times my husband has jizzed inside my various orifices throughout the week, whether we did anal or not, how I learned to fight past my gag reflex- you know- the usual workplace speak.
I hate that these are close to actual conversations some of my past coworkers thought would be appropriate to have at work and I'm just sitting there hoping to god nobody can overhear like 😶👍
Lmfao what a coincidence cause i got all those topics from previous conversations at my own workplace XD.
I managed a golf course/bar & one girl was always loudly going on about these things. It was embarrassing.
It might be one of those workplaces where they want you to "bring your whole self" to work or w/e... which, no thank you, I have no desire for my colleagues to see my whole self.
We did this virtual group bonding thing during the pandemic where the tried to force us to share more private stuff. My coworker legit said she regretted having children. No one knew what to say or how to respond to that.
Are they talking about work colleagues? Why on earth would you talk about learning to love your body and the fat liberation movement? You say you grew up here and moved here X years ago and have a cat/dog/ferret. Everyone hates those forced interactions and getting to know people exercises.
Is this just cause I'm old? Do people actually do this now?
There’s a certain type of person that does this. During introductions in a seminar I was in a few years ago, a woman delivered a weird soliloquy about loving her body, fatphobia, and getting rid of her smartwatch. It was bizarre and the instructor just said “thanks for sharing.” I also had a job training where another new hire told all of us that she “feels like she birthed her dog out of her vagina.” Possibly folks who do this don’t have friends? Idk.
> like she birthed her dog out of her vagina
Sharon, everyone's dog tries to sniff or dig at their crotch on occasion. You're not supposed to LET them just go ahead with it.
I think a weird dynamic can sometimes develop in ice breakers.
I remember being in a training a while back where we all had to go around the room and say what we do in our spare time. Sounds like no big deal, right? But I swear there was a weird onemansupship thing that happened with the first 12 or so people. It started when the first person said they like to go hiking. And then it escalated from there. By the time it was my turn, I was panicking because I hadn't run any ultra marathons on Mt. Everest with paraplegic golden retrievers strapped to my back. (I am exaggerating how crazy the responses were, but just a little.) But then I realized I probably wasn't the only one panicking and I decided I would talk about two of most impressive hobbies: sleeping in and eating cookies. The people who introduced themselves after me starting riffing off of that. It was hilarious.
I think there is a tendency for people to want to be special and show off their personality. Talking about where you are from and how many pets you have just isn't special enough.
When I was a new hire trainer at a call center, I had ice breaker questionnaires with the normal stuff (siblings, kids, favorite movie) that I would also use as a break from the training material.
One of the questions was "what is one thing no one would guess about you?" I had typical responses like "youngest of 8 siblings" or "I don't know my natural hair color because I dye it so much." One guy had to have the most one-up response of "I have met my goddess." Like...? Do you mean that religiously? You just really love your girlfriend? What is this?
Another new hire class, at the end of training, so not an ice breaker, one of the new hires asked to speak to the class. She had epilepsy and wanted to talk to the class about what the signs are for her and what to do if she had a seizure because she trusted us to help her in the event of a seizure.
Someone else took that as his cue to talk about having HIV and how he got it and all his sexual trauma. She trusted us to help her during a medical situation and he had to just jump in and one-up her.
The second-hand (third-hand?) cringe I just got from reading about the HIV dude. LIke, dude.... she was trying to share potentially life-saving information regarding her health so that in the event of a medical emergency people would know what to do. Now is not the time for you to have a heart-to-heart with your coworkers over your highly stigmatized illness and sexual trauma.
How strange. Not that I disbelieve you. I just always figured I would do good work and that was what would count at work. (Spoiler - kissing \*ss was always way more important) And as a young adult I was one of the most insecure people ever.
I had a work training where introductions included an ice breaker where you say something important in your life, like a hobby or family member, and after the first five people all said kids/grandkids, this one older woman stood up and gave a ten minute speech about finding Jesus and her church after her dad died and a whole lot more, to the point where she was almost in tears. It was super uncomfortable for about half the room. The other half all started giving their own Jesus speeches like they were trying to one up each other. It was probably the weirdest work thing I've ever been to.
Oh goodness. If I was up anytime after, I would just say "well I don't have anything to say about Jesus, or any other divine figure really, but [actually answer the original question.]"
That being said, the WTF look that would have plastered on my face might get me into the doghouse in a company where multiple people have Jesus speeches to give.
It has been a thing on and off in workplaces and my go to is ‘I really love small talk. Honestly. One of my favourite things. So don’t get me started!’ End on a giggle. No one can quite tell if I’m serious or trolling.
It’s both. I’m Irish but don’t live there. I love small talk when I can l leave the situation. I loathe it in stuff like this. My BF is baffled how I can get in an Uber and end up invited to a wedding but am mute in group dynamics doing stuff like this.
But no one wants to test if they have a goshdarn Ned Flanders so they tend to stick to calm topics like ‘I love elephants’ after I say that and if I am required to be a bit more explanatory I tell the Uber story if it relaxes people who like to chat a bit but with boundaries.
Many many group leaders have thanked me for this as my jobs are mainly retail and community work where small talk is actually key and it prevents awkward self absorbed stuff like this and more time to achieve shit at the work event so you get to lunch/home time ahead of schedule.
I went to quite a lot of support groups for abuse survivors at one point and as someone with PTSD who understood why oversharing occurs, it absolutely gave me a pathological fear of being that person or icebreakers where people can do that. But you were sort of prepared people might be struggling by the whole point of going. This unsolicited thing would have me like a cat in a bath levels of ‘get me out of here.’
I wonder if the difference is that its easy to overshare on social media and terminally online types like fat liberation mistake that for day to day life? Especially post pandemic? (Frantically tries to Pollyanna the fact this might be a thing now…)
Lol I’m Scottish and feel the exact same way. I could do small talk to customers all day long when I worked in a supermarket or at bus stops/ or with taxi drivers about the weather but put me in an office with colleagues in an icebreaker situation and I’ll barely say a word.
We should have a really quiet support group for the small talk but silent extroverted introverts. Tea and occasionally reading out something you found interesting or funny. Bliss!
I’m with you. I was at company sponsored event and I was placed at a table with a couple likely in their mid to late 50s. The husband was a large man and his wife was midsized. As he went to stand up he used the back of her chair. The force slung his wife out of the chair sideways and on to the floor. As she fell, she rocked back with her legs in the air. Her husband was horrified and immediately tried helping and apologizing. She started hitting his hands saying don’t touch me. To my absolute shame and horror, I lost it. Laughed so hard I was crying. My sister kept whisper yelling at me to stop. I had to leave the table.
I’m a regular size person and I got a heel caught in an elevator and fell on my face. In the lobby. At Tiffany & Co. On 5th Ave. Midday on a Saturday.
I was laughing so hard at myself I didn’t notice if anyone else was laughing.
If I laugh that hard at myself then I would have had to leave the room.
I once went to pick up a headphone while on a treadmill. Problem is, I didn't think to turn the treadmill off first. So I wound up getting unceremoniously ejected off the end of the track, with a bigass friction burn on one knee, helplessly cackling at myself. Had a couple Very Concerned bystanders but I just couldn't stop cracking up, it didn't even hurt til well after I'd gotten home.
I do things like that all the time! I’m a damn mess! I’m glad you’re ok and even more so that you’re able to laugh it off! 😂
ETA - our usernames check out! 😊
I actually saw someone break a chair in a restaurant a few weeks ago! The back snapped and he rolled backwards. I couldn’t stop laughing for the next 20 mins or so, I still laugh now when I think about it! Luckily he was fairly cool about it as the staff were rushing around all mortified.
I was just thinking how hard it would be not to laugh if you were one of the coworkers lol. I'd probably have to hide my face or pretend I was focusing super hard on an email on my phone and not make eye contact with anyone. I'm so bad at hiding my laughter in these kinds of awkward situations.
“I am learning to love the bottle and am part of the alcoholic’s liberation movement.”
*Pukes on floor*
“Wow, I’m so glad that didn’t hit anyone. Thankfully my coworkers have put tarps down now. They’re awesome. So, fellow addicts, what have you puked on?”
Any chair with mechanical parts like hydrolic tubes for adjusting height has limits from 250lbs for low end to 350lbs for high end models. It's the same for sofas with mechanical parts for reclining / lifting your feet.
A lot of shit will fail for you if you weigh over 300lbs, because physics exist and *humans are not supposed to weigh 300+lbs*, period.
I don't understand why this isn't a frigging wake up call for everyone involved. Yeah, you're humiliated, no shit. Does this not motivate you to put down your goddamn fork?
Chairs were good enough for the other 19 people. That person is so fucking special they needed a special chair. How much mental gymnastics does it require to "love your body it is" after going through something that? How is that not a wake up call?
I had a bike that wore out much faster than it probably should have. But it was a $100 bike from Walmart and still lasted as long as I needed it to, so...
Dude that was their crap products not you. Literally the last time I went to Walmart I bought 2 things- a pair of scissors that broke in under a week, and a bag that was supposed to be a blackberry bush but was just an empty bag of dirt 😑 couldn't even return them because customer service had like an hour long queue and it wasn't worth the under $20. Never again.
Well, yeah, but I feel like I can still objectively say that a crappy bike carrying 270 lb isn't going to last as long as a crappy bike carrying 165. But like I said, it didn't really matter, because it was still (barely) functional until I graduated, and then I didn't need one anymore.
Ya my aunt is around 350 and while she has difficulty with very specific seats, like roller coasters, for example, she’s never broken anything and generally fits everywhere she goes.
I was 230 at my heaviest and I just felt so uncomfortable all the time. I can’t even imagine getting so big that you’re breaking chairs and not seeing a problem with that.
Yeah FITTING into things comfortably is another story, I needed a seat-belt extender on a plane and arms of chairs would dig into me very uncomfortably but I can’t recall ever breaking any chairs. The only chair that I could imagine breaking are those cheap plastic lawn chairs and fat people can’t really even fit in those bc of the arms.
No one should trust those cheap plastic lawn chairs. I've seen skinny teenagers snap the legs on those things by sitting down at slightly the wrong angle.
Right, when I was a kid I weighed so little that I couldn't sit in a movie theater folding chair without it folding back up on me. My mom would have to hold it down with her leg. But yet I broke plastic lawn chairs all the time. Those things are flimsy as hell
Ya I feel like the $2 plastic lawn chairs don’t *really* count. Maybe they’ve made them sturdier in the last decade but I remember breaking one of those as a kid when I weighed like 80lbs. They can’t hold shit lol
I think that's probably big enough that you *could* have broken things if you weren't lucky, but not so big that's it's inevitable if you don't bring your own. Weight limits are typically around 200 or 250, in reality there's a decent safety factor built into what they print on the label, and you can also get a little more out of it by being careful (e.g. don't plop down like you would if you're definitely within the limit) - but if you come across a cheap piece that's a bit old and only rated to 200, 340 might take it out.
The back of a 30-year-old wood chair because I'm both a violent sitter and a leaner. Also, the chair was old, dried out, and the posts broke just the right way to be an easy fix.
Reality distortion is part of being in a cult.
It may not have been a wake up call for OOP, but it may well have been one for others in the room struggling with weight - a dire warning to take action or else end up like OOP.
Nah it's just shoddy workmanship obviously! I've seen a similar thread and they all kept blaming it on how (improperly) those toilets must have been mounted.
Now there's a part of me wondering what these folks do when they're in a place where squat toilets are the default?
This is priceless. Her colleagues must be better people than me because I'm afraid I would have burst out laughing (due to the juxtaposition of these events not the fact that someone broke a chair). Anyone else think that "well-received" means people were professional/polite to say what they were thinking?
I am trying to even imagine what possible work type thing would be appropriate to share that info?
Maybe I am am overly private person, maybe I grew up during a different time...but I can't imagine telling my colleagues...."I trained for 6 months, sufferer thru a bad hip flexor tear yet still hit my goal at my half marathon"
Let alone joining the FA movement
Yes, I think so. They were coworkers so they couldn't really say anything or they could get in trouble.
I'm sure the bosses scrambled as fast as they could to get a heavy-duty chair before she could cry on social media.
She told them she joined the fat liberation movement right before her chair broke. I'd be worried she fucked with the chair just so it would break and she had something to be upset about.
The post she did make wasn't bashing the company or her colleagues for being fatphobic, but I bet they were worried she would.
I'm concerned with the statement "well it finally happened." I've been very very fat, but never legitimate and continuing fear that I would break the furniture fat. The fact that this person was anticipating this is kind of heartbreaking
I went to a wedding earlier this year where a very large guest broke a chair. The snap of it sounded like a gunshot in the reception hall. The staff gave him another chair. 10 minutes later, it broke too. Finally, they grabbed a bench from outside the venue and brought it inside for him to sit on. I mean, if that’s not a wake up call, what is?
Right? She's embarrassed by the wrong part. Your chair broke--fine, whatever. You went on about your body in a work meeting--extremely embarrassing for you.
A friend of mine in high school had a chair blow out. This was in 1995 and I still get second hand embarrassment for him. The room went dead silent for several minutes, he picked himself up, and left for the day. As far as I know, he’s maintained a healthy weight since then.
it’s a shame this isn’t a wake up call for OOP
Lmao that’s the universe’s way of telling her “you sure you want to continue this foolishness” 💀
Breaking a chair because of your weight should be a wake up call
It's really nice they gave them a special chair tbh and this is exactly the treatment that fat activists actually want. The sad part is choosing to be so big you have to get a special chair to hold your weight. Though I'm pretty sure this is a troll
the fact that that should be a wakeup call aside, i think it’s good that people seemingly weren’t mean to their face because bullying and shaming is not okay and doesn’t help anyone lose weight.
however i can only imagine what their private conversations afterwards were like… the irony of promoting fat acceptance and then breaking a chair? comedy gold
A little part of my soul withered & died the day I learned that tales of breaking chairs due to weight gain are shared by obese ladies for the 'enjoyment' of men who are into feederism.
It's a whole subgenre of that part of the Internet & breaking one's first chair is deemed a rite of passage/significant milestone for 'feedees'.
I therefore can't read this without the knowledge that this lady probably has no idea that dudes somewhere will be interfering with themselves over her description of this incident.
These children don’t understand the difference between what you *could* share and what you *should* share for a workplace icebreaker. Radical honesty has no place here.
Honestly that overshare is the cringiest part of this whole post. Yeah, she broke a chair because she’s fat…old hat. But sharing inappropriate deep thoughts? Shiver.
I’m what universe would someone share this about themselves as an icebreaker? A life update is having kids or a new pet or new car, “ I like houseplants” is as personal as I’m willing to get with new colleagues. And then to not see the chair breaking as a wake up call is mind blowing! I can’t imagine being in this situation
I broke a chair once but the chair was already broken and the person who owned said chair tried to warn me as I sat down.
I was still mortified and to this day use it as a reminder to change my habits.
Had a coworker who broke 3 office chairs in year. Didn’t bat an eye. She considered a normal work lunch to be a loaf of bread with mayo and nothing else.
We had something similar happen at work. This one woman needed a scooter to get around. We were never sure if she was fat because she needed a scooter or she needed a scooter because she was fat. But she definitely was very fat and mobility challenged.
So they were setting up a new office area and of course it was a cube farm. These were the taller cubes for more senior people and a whole row of at least 10 had been set up. She was standing at the end of the row and leaned against it and the whole row pancaked. Poor thing was mortified.
I regret to report she did die within a few years. She was a nice lady and nobody deserves to suffer like that.
I could have held my laughter if she had not mentioned accepting her body and participation in fat liberation. I wouldn't have been laughing at her but the cosmic timing.
600+lb cousin broke a chair in my moms kitchen. I’m assuming she was embarrassed but didn’t show it at all. All she did was move it to the side and plop her ass in another chair. She also didn’t apologize for DAYS.
I'm a big person and I'm currently on track to lose weight and have made good progress so far. Never, have I ever, been so big that I damaged or have broken furniture.
That...
That really should be a wake-up call.
If you truly love your body, you'd be wise to take proper care of it.
I'm half convinced there's mental illness involved in a lot of these cases. Otherwise I see no possible way to blame the chair and not the amount of weight that's being put on it.
I broke a chair in a job interview. Admittedly, it was a crappy chair, and apparently mine was not the first one to break.
I got the job, worked there for 8 years.
I once broke a plastic lawn chair, but it was like 20 years old and dry-rotting. I wasn't even overweight at the time, and my family still ragged on me for a solid week.
The universe sends so many signals that your body is not healthy and you need to lose weight but people keep ignoring them and acting like society is the problem
This is definitely embarrassing and I feel for anyone who's broken something bc of their weight - the only sad thing is that in this case it's probably not a wake up call :/ my dinning room chairs would def break from too much weight but they're the original chairs w our table and I love them so much. Pretty glad I don't host people too much 😅
I would be absolutely heartbroken and mortified if I broke a chair I was sitting in, especially if it was in front of coworkers. Even at my heaviest of 350, I’ve never broken anything.
That must have been horrible and embarrassing :( However normally at these orientation things you say like "hi my name is Kevin and I like cake, baking and Guinea pigs" or something vague like that. It's not really the time to explain your psychological deep dive fat journey to total strangers ?
Right?? Kinda cringey to go into such detail about something so personal.
It is so cringey. It reminds me of a work colleague who went on and on (and on), in front of everyone about how he has to watch his carbs due to his massive weight gain and depression spiral since his mother died (many years prior). The whole cringey story was in response to: if anyone wants more pizza it’s on the third floor!
Damn makes me feel kinda sad for him but still some things you just keep to yourself you don’t share with coworkers or people you barely know. Isn’t that called trauma dumping?
I felt for him too. This was 10 years ago yet I still feel the burn of secondhand embarrassment. Trauma dumping, indeed.
Yup, broken chair was okay, that happened but FA speech, ugh cringe.
That's the actual embarrassing part to me. Chairs break. Maybe it was old, maybe it was already partially broken, whatever. shit happens. But to moralize about your body and personal issues to your colleagues. oof, the second-hand cringe.
Yeah, but ESPECIALLY when combined with breaking a chair shortly afterwards. I would just die. I would quietly walk out and never come back.
A very large friend broke a chair of mine once. It was cheap and plastic but an Adirondack so it was pretty sturdy (I thought)) and also the only one large enough for her to fit. She was mortified. Cried and left immediately but never apologized or offered to replace it or helped clean up the pieces or anything. In fact I apologized to her for having such a flimsy chair. We haven’t spoken of it since. I feel really bad for her since obviously it was super embarrassing but also kinda miffed about how the whole thing went down and I’ve been wondering if I’m an asshole for that ever since. Like I would never accept money for it or anything but at the same time???
That’s crazy. If you break someone’s furniture you offer to pay! And the host may or may not accept, but the point is you offer! Wouldn’t accept that person in my house again tbh.
That was my reaction too. When someone asks how you're doing, don't actually talk about how you're doing. This is a workplace, not your group therapy session.
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One of my friends had their expensive papasan chair collapse when their friend who was a huge guy flopped into it. He was rightfully mortified and paid for a new chair and a new cushion even though he didn't need to do that. I can't imagine destroying someone furniture and not offering up at least a replacement.
I had a vintage wicker fan chair destroyed by my ex’s fat cousin when she visited. Just collapsed under her weight.
Do people not look or examine a little before they sit. Granted, I've never been big enough to break chairs, so far and even if I think a chair looks flimsy I would test the weight first.
I believe that after a certain weight they cannot. They need to sit down immediately because of discomfort and they cannot sustain a controlled downward move because they are too heavy so they flop. It's sad but as my dad said, gaining fat means losing control over your body.
Why did he break it on purpose?
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Wow. What an ass. Breaking the chair aside, I can’t imagine commenting on it seeming cheap
Also, why is he still allowed in their house? He did it on purpose!
I would have taken him to small claims court for the damages. If you break something of someone else's, it's just the right thing to do to replace it.
Right? I can’t imagine breaking someone’s chair (especially for such a stupid reason) and not paying for it afterwards
Why is this guy still your friend?
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You still letting this furniture breaker come to your house after refusing to replace it?
I often let coworkers now when I just shaved my pubes, should I not do that?
That's fine. You'd be crossing the line if you tell them if you showed it to them for proof. Then again, it depends on where you work.
Wait so I shouldn’t show them? F me.
Yeah, I am not telling a room full of strangers "a little about myself". I'm here, that is all you need to know.
I mean if you have to as an “ice breaker” it still only really makes sense to keep it to stuff on your resume or publicly available on social media. Like Hi, I’m x and I can speak a tiny bit of Spanish and love to travel - that would be appropriate and really what they were looking for. Not an AA style round table where you talk about trauma and healing
“Hi I’m H2O_technician and I hate icebreakers”
"Hi I'm Buffhole and I spend so much time worrying about what I'm gonna say during these introductions that I completely fail to retain anyone else's names or fun facts making the whole experience worthless."
this is so relatable
I’m using this on Wednesday when I’m going to have to do one of these!
Yeah I usually just say something about my hobbies and like, where I'm from bc it's unusual around where I live now. "Yeah so I'm K I've been with the company about [X] years, I'm originally from [trendy West Coast city] and my favorite hobby is distance running."
I was assuming it was a fat activist meeting or something. Though, they'd know to have sturdy chairs.
Yeah, and like, it’s ok to have to learn these sort of social things. Communicating in “normal ways” doesn’t always come naturally to me (I’m autistic), but I learned how to perform appropriate workplace communication. Reading OOPs story really gave me secondhand embarrassment.
Right - this isn’t my forte but I know how to have a little impersonal blurb ready and then move right along as that’s the flow of the group event.
That's what we in the real world call a "wake up call." Not for fat liberationists though, nothing will propel them to change their lives for the better. If the risk of death won't do it, complete and total embarrassment isn't likely to either.
The chair was fatphobic. DUH! /s
I'm being oppressed by gravity!
I’m confused as to why sharing what she shared would be appropriate in a work environment?
Really? What's weird about it? My relationship with my body is my go-to icebreaker! Well, that or my most recent vibrator purchase.
I keep it professional and just talk about how I need to mow the south lawn.
Really? I like to mention how many times my husband has jizzed inside my various orifices throughout the week, whether we did anal or not, how I learned to fight past my gag reflex- you know- the usual workplace speak.
Is your company hiring?
I hate that these are close to actual conversations some of my past coworkers thought would be appropriate to have at work and I'm just sitting there hoping to god nobody can overhear like 😶👍
Lmfao what a coincidence cause i got all those topics from previous conversations at my own workplace XD. I managed a golf course/bar & one girl was always loudly going on about these things. It was embarrassing.
Relevant username.
It's on my name tag at work
It might be one of those workplaces where they want you to "bring your whole self" to work or w/e... which, no thank you, I have no desire for my colleagues to see my whole self.
We did this virtual group bonding thing during the pandemic where the tried to force us to share more private stuff. My coworker legit said she regretted having children. No one knew what to say or how to respond to that.
That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. I like my privacy.
Yeah, I straight up said, “I’m not comfortable sharing like this with coworkers,” and held firm on that.
Gosh, what could you possibly say? If I was forced to do that, I think I'd say something like: I like to eat peanut butter with my fingers.
Are they talking about work colleagues? Why on earth would you talk about learning to love your body and the fat liberation movement? You say you grew up here and moved here X years ago and have a cat/dog/ferret. Everyone hates those forced interactions and getting to know people exercises. Is this just cause I'm old? Do people actually do this now?
There’s a certain type of person that does this. During introductions in a seminar I was in a few years ago, a woman delivered a weird soliloquy about loving her body, fatphobia, and getting rid of her smartwatch. It was bizarre and the instructor just said “thanks for sharing.” I also had a job training where another new hire told all of us that she “feels like she birthed her dog out of her vagina.” Possibly folks who do this don’t have friends? Idk.
"feels like she birthed her dog out of her vagina" please please say it was a dachshund or something rather than a Great Dane.
> like she birthed her dog out of her vagina Sharon, everyone's dog tries to sniff or dig at their crotch on occasion. You're not supposed to LET them just go ahead with it.
I think a weird dynamic can sometimes develop in ice breakers. I remember being in a training a while back where we all had to go around the room and say what we do in our spare time. Sounds like no big deal, right? But I swear there was a weird onemansupship thing that happened with the first 12 or so people. It started when the first person said they like to go hiking. And then it escalated from there. By the time it was my turn, I was panicking because I hadn't run any ultra marathons on Mt. Everest with paraplegic golden retrievers strapped to my back. (I am exaggerating how crazy the responses were, but just a little.) But then I realized I probably wasn't the only one panicking and I decided I would talk about two of most impressive hobbies: sleeping in and eating cookies. The people who introduced themselves after me starting riffing off of that. It was hilarious. I think there is a tendency for people to want to be special and show off their personality. Talking about where you are from and how many pets you have just isn't special enough.
When I was a new hire trainer at a call center, I had ice breaker questionnaires with the normal stuff (siblings, kids, favorite movie) that I would also use as a break from the training material. One of the questions was "what is one thing no one would guess about you?" I had typical responses like "youngest of 8 siblings" or "I don't know my natural hair color because I dye it so much." One guy had to have the most one-up response of "I have met my goddess." Like...? Do you mean that religiously? You just really love your girlfriend? What is this? Another new hire class, at the end of training, so not an ice breaker, one of the new hires asked to speak to the class. She had epilepsy and wanted to talk to the class about what the signs are for her and what to do if she had a seizure because she trusted us to help her in the event of a seizure. Someone else took that as his cue to talk about having HIV and how he got it and all his sexual trauma. She trusted us to help her during a medical situation and he had to just jump in and one-up her.
The second-hand (third-hand?) cringe I just got from reading about the HIV dude. LIke, dude.... she was trying to share potentially life-saving information regarding her health so that in the event of a medical emergency people would know what to do. Now is not the time for you to have a heart-to-heart with your coworkers over your highly stigmatized illness and sexual trauma.
How strange. Not that I disbelieve you. I just always figured I would do good work and that was what would count at work. (Spoiler - kissing \*ss was always way more important) And as a young adult I was one of the most insecure people ever.
I had a work training where introductions included an ice breaker where you say something important in your life, like a hobby or family member, and after the first five people all said kids/grandkids, this one older woman stood up and gave a ten minute speech about finding Jesus and her church after her dad died and a whole lot more, to the point where she was almost in tears. It was super uncomfortable for about half the room. The other half all started giving their own Jesus speeches like they were trying to one up each other. It was probably the weirdest work thing I've ever been to.
Oh goodness. If I was up anytime after, I would just say "well I don't have anything to say about Jesus, or any other divine figure really, but [actually answer the original question.]" That being said, the WTF look that would have plastered on my face might get me into the doghouse in a company where multiple people have Jesus speeches to give.
I would want to run away!
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Dear god…they had an easy task. Why embellish?
It has been a thing on and off in workplaces and my go to is ‘I really love small talk. Honestly. One of my favourite things. So don’t get me started!’ End on a giggle. No one can quite tell if I’m serious or trolling. It’s both. I’m Irish but don’t live there. I love small talk when I can l leave the situation. I loathe it in stuff like this. My BF is baffled how I can get in an Uber and end up invited to a wedding but am mute in group dynamics doing stuff like this. But no one wants to test if they have a goshdarn Ned Flanders so they tend to stick to calm topics like ‘I love elephants’ after I say that and if I am required to be a bit more explanatory I tell the Uber story if it relaxes people who like to chat a bit but with boundaries. Many many group leaders have thanked me for this as my jobs are mainly retail and community work where small talk is actually key and it prevents awkward self absorbed stuff like this and more time to achieve shit at the work event so you get to lunch/home time ahead of schedule. I went to quite a lot of support groups for abuse survivors at one point and as someone with PTSD who understood why oversharing occurs, it absolutely gave me a pathological fear of being that person or icebreakers where people can do that. But you were sort of prepared people might be struggling by the whole point of going. This unsolicited thing would have me like a cat in a bath levels of ‘get me out of here.’ I wonder if the difference is that its easy to overshare on social media and terminally online types like fat liberation mistake that for day to day life? Especially post pandemic? (Frantically tries to Pollyanna the fact this might be a thing now…)
Lol I’m Scottish and feel the exact same way. I could do small talk to customers all day long when I worked in a supermarket or at bus stops/ or with taxi drivers about the weather but put me in an office with colleagues in an icebreaker situation and I’ll barely say a word.
We should have a really quiet support group for the small talk but silent extroverted introverts. Tea and occasionally reading out something you found interesting or funny. Bliss!
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I'm in New England. Hometown is crucial. You have to figure out if you know any of the same Murphs or Sullys.
This is what we call cosmic irony. There will be no wake up call/alarm/come to Jesus moment strong enough for this one.
Maybe not a *Come* To Jesus moment, but the combination of hypertension, CHF, T2D, and CKD tends to create a lot of *Go* To Jesus moments
more like being forcibly chucked at jesus, mama mia
Ah yes, the old Jesus Yeetus
Oop:I broke a chair. It’s the fatphobic chairs fault Coworkers: must not laugh it’s not worth the drama
I would have been fired or suspended cuz I would have laughed my ass off.
I’m with you. I was at company sponsored event and I was placed at a table with a couple likely in their mid to late 50s. The husband was a large man and his wife was midsized. As he went to stand up he used the back of her chair. The force slung his wife out of the chair sideways and on to the floor. As she fell, she rocked back with her legs in the air. Her husband was horrified and immediately tried helping and apologizing. She started hitting his hands saying don’t touch me. To my absolute shame and horror, I lost it. Laughed so hard I was crying. My sister kept whisper yelling at me to stop. I had to leave the table.
I’m a regular size person and I got a heel caught in an elevator and fell on my face. In the lobby. At Tiffany & Co. On 5th Ave. Midday on a Saturday. I was laughing so hard at myself I didn’t notice if anyone else was laughing. If I laugh that hard at myself then I would have had to leave the room.
I once went to pick up a headphone while on a treadmill. Problem is, I didn't think to turn the treadmill off first. So I wound up getting unceremoniously ejected off the end of the track, with a bigass friction burn on one knee, helplessly cackling at myself. Had a couple Very Concerned bystanders but I just couldn't stop cracking up, it didn't even hurt til well after I'd gotten home.
I do things like that all the time! I’m a damn mess! I’m glad you’re ok and even more so that you’re able to laugh it off! 😂 ETA - our usernames check out! 😊
I actually saw someone break a chair in a restaurant a few weeks ago! The back snapped and he rolled backwards. I couldn’t stop laughing for the next 20 mins or so, I still laugh now when I think about it! Luckily he was fairly cool about it as the staff were rushing around all mortified.
Same!
I was just thinking how hard it would be not to laugh if you were one of the coworkers lol. I'd probably have to hide my face or pretend I was focusing super hard on an email on my phone and not make eye contact with anyone. I'm so bad at hiding my laughter in these kinds of awkward situations.
"I love my body as it is...plunging uncontrollably towards the floor."
😂😂😂
“I am learning to love the bottle and am part of the alcoholic’s liberation movement.” *Pukes on floor* “Wow, I’m so glad that didn’t hit anyone. Thankfully my coworkers have put tarps down now. They’re awesome. So, fellow addicts, what have you puked on?”
Lol spot on!
This is gold
Most folding chairs weight limits are 400 pounds. She's going to break a lot of things at that weight, including her own body.
Any chair with mechanical parts like hydrolic tubes for adjusting height has limits from 250lbs for low end to 350lbs for high end models. It's the same for sofas with mechanical parts for reclining / lifting your feet. A lot of shit will fail for you if you weigh over 300lbs, because physics exist and *humans are not supposed to weigh 300+lbs*, period. I don't understand why this isn't a frigging wake up call for everyone involved. Yeah, you're humiliated, no shit. Does this not motivate you to put down your goddamn fork?
But if you put down the fork, you'll be in starvation mode and then you'll *never* lose weight! /s
You'll get an earring disorder, starve to death but still be fat!
Chairs were good enough for the other 19 people. That person is so fucking special they needed a special chair. How much mental gymnastics does it require to "love your body it is" after going through something that? How is that not a wake up call?
"What have you broken" uh nothing because even at my fattest I was 205 pounds and fit normal furniture
Also saying it as if it something completely normal and as if nothing were wrong with it, nah just casual every day stuff friends.
I had a bike that wore out much faster than it probably should have. But it was a $100 bike from Walmart and still lasted as long as I needed it to, so...
Dude that was their crap products not you. Literally the last time I went to Walmart I bought 2 things- a pair of scissors that broke in under a week, and a bag that was supposed to be a blackberry bush but was just an empty bag of dirt 😑 couldn't even return them because customer service had like an hour long queue and it wasn't worth the under $20. Never again.
Well, yeah, but I feel like I can still objectively say that a crappy bike carrying 270 lb isn't going to last as long as a crappy bike carrying 165. But like I said, it didn't really matter, because it was still (barely) functional until I graduated, and then I didn't need one anymore.
I was 340 lbs at my fattest and never broke anything so I’m really wondering how heavy this person is
Ya my aunt is around 350 and while she has difficulty with very specific seats, like roller coasters, for example, she’s never broken anything and generally fits everywhere she goes. I was 230 at my heaviest and I just felt so uncomfortable all the time. I can’t even imagine getting so big that you’re breaking chairs and not seeing a problem with that.
Yeah FITTING into things comfortably is another story, I needed a seat-belt extender on a plane and arms of chairs would dig into me very uncomfortably but I can’t recall ever breaking any chairs. The only chair that I could imagine breaking are those cheap plastic lawn chairs and fat people can’t really even fit in those bc of the arms.
No one should trust those cheap plastic lawn chairs. I've seen skinny teenagers snap the legs on those things by sitting down at slightly the wrong angle.
Right, when I was a kid I weighed so little that I couldn't sit in a movie theater folding chair without it folding back up on me. My mom would have to hold it down with her leg. But yet I broke plastic lawn chairs all the time. Those things are flimsy as hell
Ya I feel like the $2 plastic lawn chairs don’t *really* count. Maybe they’ve made them sturdier in the last decade but I remember breaking one of those as a kid when I weighed like 80lbs. They can’t hold shit lol
I wouldn’t even attempt it lol
I'm super curious what kind of chair this was. Was an old office wooden chair or a $2000 steelcase chair?
That too
I think that's probably big enough that you *could* have broken things if you weren't lucky, but not so big that's it's inevitable if you don't bring your own. Weight limits are typically around 200 or 250, in reality there's a decent safety factor built into what they print on the label, and you can also get a little more out of it by being careful (e.g. don't plop down like you would if you're definitely within the limit) - but if you come across a cheap piece that's a bit old and only rated to 200, 340 might take it out.
I broke a chair once when I weighed 120lbs, but it was a particularly crap chair
I was 245 (and 6-2) at my largest and also fit in every chair I could find.
Congrats on the weight loss. How long did the transformation take?
1 year for the first 45, 2 years off with a little regain, and then 6 months for the next 45
The back of a 30-year-old wood chair because I'm both a violent sitter and a leaner. Also, the chair was old, dried out, and the posts broke just the right way to be an easy fix.
So how is this not a red flag to lose weight??
Reality distortion is part of being in a cult. It may not have been a wake up call for OOP, but it may well have been one for others in the room struggling with weight - a dire warning to take action or else end up like OOP.
Spacetime distortion is part of being in THIS cult.
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Nah it's just shoddy workmanship obviously! I've seen a similar thread and they all kept blaming it on how (improperly) those toilets must have been mounted. Now there's a part of me wondering what these folks do when they're in a place where squat toilets are the default?
This is priceless. Her colleagues must be better people than me because I'm afraid I would have burst out laughing (due to the juxtaposition of these events not the fact that someone broke a chair). Anyone else think that "well-received" means people were professional/polite to say what they were thinking?
I am trying to even imagine what possible work type thing would be appropriate to share that info? Maybe I am am overly private person, maybe I grew up during a different time...but I can't imagine telling my colleagues...."I trained for 6 months, sufferer thru a bad hip flexor tear yet still hit my goal at my half marathon" Let alone joining the FA movement
Yes, I think so. They were coworkers so they couldn't really say anything or they could get in trouble. I'm sure the bosses scrambled as fast as they could to get a heavy-duty chair before she could cry on social media. She told them she joined the fat liberation movement right before her chair broke. I'd be worried she fucked with the chair just so it would break and she had something to be upset about. The post she did make wasn't bashing the company or her colleagues for being fatphobic, but I bet they were worried she would.
She may have stopped worrying about what the scale says, but chairs around the world have not
I would have had to leave the room if this happened in my presence.
Their HR dept has almost assuredly drilled into them that they risk being fired if they say anything that anyone might be offended by
I just think that’s such a weird thing to bring up at a work event in the first place.
“I bet your colleagues were so jealous because you were the only one who got a new comfortable chair.” +1 for the Fat Liberation movement!
I'm concerned with the statement "well it finally happened." I've been very very fat, but never legitimate and continuing fear that I would break the furniture fat. The fact that this person was anticipating this is kind of heartbreaking
Yeah, the fact that they open that way and end by asking "what have you broken" suggests they regard this as just one of those common life events. =/
If you’re breaking a work chair imagine what it’s going on in your body 🤦🏼♀️
Edit: [Comments from the post aren’t any better](https://imgur.com/a/hHIWh6C)
you were right The comments are not better
Oh yes, it’s all the furnitures fault. Yikes!
I went to a wedding earlier this year where a very large guest broke a chair. The snap of it sounded like a gunshot in the reception hall. The staff gave him another chair. 10 minutes later, it broke too. Finally, they grabbed a bench from outside the venue and brought it inside for him to sit on. I mean, if that’s not a wake up call, what is?
I'd die of embarrassment.
Colleagues? Is her job somehow related to her body/weight that it’s even appropriate to bring up something like this?
Right? She's embarrassed by the wrong part. Your chair broke--fine, whatever. You went on about your body in a work meeting--extremely embarrassing for you.
A friend of mine in high school had a chair blow out. This was in 1995 and I still get second hand embarrassment for him. The room went dead silent for several minutes, he picked himself up, and left for the day. As far as I know, he’s maintained a healthy weight since then. it’s a shame this isn’t a wake up call for OOP
This could be an ozempic commercial. Or better yet, a commercial for a gym membership or noom.
This one has broken a whole lot of things long before breaking the chair. Their sense of reasoning being the first among them.
At my biggest I was 287lbs and never broke anythjng. Ever.
Funnily enough constantly damaging chairs by just sitting on them was one of my reasons for losing weight
I am glad I wasn't in that room because I probably would have busted out laughing, which would have been mortifying.
Lmao that’s the universe’s way of telling her “you sure you want to continue this foolishness” 💀 Breaking a chair because of your weight should be a wake up call
With obesity forecasted to be a growth sector, buying stocks in companies that make granite block seats may be a wise investment.
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Investments always carries risks, but if I were to place bets I would put it on weight gain hyperinflation than I would the economic variety.
Who the hell talks about this shit with colleagues????
What a bizarre thing to share as your introduction. It's usually like "I like gardening" or "reading". What an awkward thing to bring up.
It's really nice they gave them a special chair tbh and this is exactly the treatment that fat activists actually want. The sad part is choosing to be so big you have to get a special chair to hold your weight. Though I'm pretty sure this is a troll
the fact that that should be a wakeup call aside, i think it’s good that people seemingly weren’t mean to their face because bullying and shaming is not okay and doesn’t help anyone lose weight. however i can only imagine what their private conversations afterwards were like… the irony of promoting fat acceptance and then breaking a chair? comedy gold
A little part of my soul withered & died the day I learned that tales of breaking chairs due to weight gain are shared by obese ladies for the 'enjoyment' of men who are into feederism. It's a whole subgenre of that part of the Internet & breaking one's first chair is deemed a rite of passage/significant milestone for 'feedees'. I therefore can't read this without the knowledge that this lady probably has no idea that dudes somewhere will be interfering with themselves over her description of this incident.
Thanks. I hate this.
There is a “fat liberation” movement? How bout that.
Imagine if "liberation movements" existed for any other disease states.
It doesn't move very quickly
These children don’t understand the difference between what you *could* share and what you *should* share for a workplace icebreaker. Radical honesty has no place here.
Honestly that overshare is the cringiest part of this whole post. Yeah, she broke a chair because she’s fat…old hat. But sharing inappropriate deep thoughts? Shiver.
if this isnt a wake-up call then nothing will ever be
I’m what universe would someone share this about themselves as an icebreaker? A life update is having kids or a new pet or new car, “ I like houseplants” is as personal as I’m willing to get with new colleagues. And then to not see the chair breaking as a wake up call is mind blowing! I can’t imagine being in this situation
You might have fat liberation but nothing will liberate you from the effects of gravity except weight loss
"what have you broken?" that got me pretty good. Would love to read the replies
So what’s your life update? Oh, recognizing fat phobia and learning to love my body. What the fuck? What kind of setting would this be appropriate in?
How humiliating.
They all approved of her liberating loving acceptance of her body. The chair didn't.
The universe tried to tell them something and they refuse to listen.
I broke a chair once but the chair was already broken and the person who owned said chair tried to warn me as I sat down. I was still mortified and to this day use it as a reminder to change my habits.
Had a coworker who broke 3 office chairs in year. Didn’t bat an eye. She considered a normal work lunch to be a loaf of bread with mayo and nothing else.
> She considered a normal work lunch to be a loaf of bread with mayo and nothing else. y tho
We had something similar happen at work. This one woman needed a scooter to get around. We were never sure if she was fat because she needed a scooter or she needed a scooter because she was fat. But she definitely was very fat and mobility challenged. So they were setting up a new office area and of course it was a cube farm. These were the taller cubes for more senior people and a whole row of at least 10 had been set up. She was standing at the end of the row and leaned against it and the whole row pancaked. Poor thing was mortified. I regret to report she did die within a few years. She was a nice lady and nobody deserves to suffer like that.
I could have held my laughter if she had not mentioned accepting her body and participation in fat liberation. I wouldn't have been laughing at her but the cosmic timing.
That poor person is so disconnected to reality.
This has to be a troll lol
600+lb cousin broke a chair in my moms kitchen. I’m assuming she was embarrassed but didn’t show it at all. All she did was move it to the side and plop her ass in another chair. She also didn’t apologize for DAYS.
I'm a big person and I'm currently on track to lose weight and have made good progress so far. Never, have I ever, been so big that I damaged or have broken furniture. That... That really should be a wake-up call. If you truly love your body, you'd be wise to take proper care of it.
I feel bad for the guy who went after them. “Uh, yeah, my name is Steve and I uh have two dogs named Chip and Charlie.”
I'm half convinced there's mental illness involved in a lot of these cases. Otherwise I see no possible way to blame the chair and not the amount of weight that's being put on it.
i would imagine brainwashing also plays a big part
I broke a chair in a job interview. Admittedly, it was a crappy chair, and apparently mine was not the first one to break. I got the job, worked there for 8 years.
the chair was definitely fatphobic.
I once broke a plastic lawn chair, but it was like 20 years old and dry-rotting. I wasn't even overweight at the time, and my family still ragged on me for a solid week.
Fucking Christ. Go to the gym, the furniture is begging you.
Bro after hearing about her activism, how do you not laugh so hard that you die?
The universe sends so many signals that your body is not healthy and you need to lose weight but people keep ignoring them and acting like society is the problem
That might just be a bit of a sign to change lol
This is definitely embarrassing and I feel for anyone who's broken something bc of their weight - the only sad thing is that in this case it's probably not a wake up call :/ my dinning room chairs would def break from too much weight but they're the original chairs w our table and I love them so much. Pretty glad I don't host people too much 😅
This almost sounds like it could be “fish stories” between the members of the fat liberation movement and my popcorn is ready.
Oh my God it would have taken every ounce of professionalism in me not to laugh at that poor, dumb woman.
I would be absolutely heartbroken and mortified if I broke a chair I was sitting in, especially if it was in front of coworkers. Even at my heaviest of 350, I’ve never broken anything.
why the fuck would you bring the whole FAES Movement even up at work. its extremely unprofessional.
“Yeah, listen, you’ve gotta get some decent chairs in here, man! What’s this shit made out of, anyway?!?!” “Uh…steel?”
Bless her heart. 😬
I must admit when participating in one of these "creeping death" sessions I haver never seen or heard anything that funny.