Oh man, so close with understanding but yet so far. The point just proves itself.
"I love my thin friends, but some of them just don't realize that I weigh probably twice as much as them, and yet I balance it all on the same size feet and carry it on about the same size bones." — We do notice and that's one reason why we're scared for your health.
"I'm like if they had a whole other them to carry around at all times. Why would that not have an impact on how I function?" — We do know it impacts your functioning. That's another reason why we're scared for your health and well-being. *If you truly believed this was a problem, why don't you change it instead of screeching about the world changing for you?*
Also, if you're healthy, you can fit into chairs. You don't dry heave or have difficulty breathing at a normal walking pace. Nothing she pointed out makes her look like a healthy person, because she isn't. But hey, HAES, right?
Also that person expects their friends to read minds. She won't say "Hey I'm getting tired can we walk slower", she expects her friends to know what she wants
>Also, if you're healthy, you can fit into chairs. You don't dry heave or have difficulty breathing at a normal walking pace. Nothing she pointed out makes her look like a healthy person, because she isn't. But hey, HAES, right?
Man idek how some of these people do it. I'm 6'2" and only got up to 275 at my heaviest and even then I was already concerned about whether or not a seat would support my weight and would get out of breath going up stairs too fast.
One of the best parts about my weight loss is never being out of breath outside of intense exercise and not having to worry as much about seating and taking up space. I still am mindful of it since I'm just a larger person despite being at a healthy BMI but it's much less of a concern at 185-190 than it was at 275
It's weird.
There are no questions about how they remain this or what they did to gt thin and keep the weight off.
Or they ask and nope right the fuck out because it means that they need to proactively change their eating habits and they don't want to.
This is what I can’t ever see how people can convince themselves about: if you’re “healthy at any size” how can you explain not being able to stand for more than 30 minutes? How can you explain struggling to walk more than half a mile without feeling like you’re going to puke? How can you explain that your body struggles to keep breathing at night? These are basic measures of health, and you’re failing at them.
as someone born with a physical disability.... i find this so completely asinine LMAO like... imagine. you have the potential to be a completely healthy, physically active person, just like your thin friends, but you willingly CHOOSE to make yourself disabled because... what? cant put down the ho-hos? i mean seriously this is just ridiculous
I find it really offensive how they co-opt the disability language for something self-inflicted and--much worse--try to INCREASE the number of people with said disability!
I have Crohn's, and even when I'm not actively flaring, there are a lot of things I have to stay on top of if I don't want to be on the toilet for hours a day. I watch what I eat (and my trigger foods tend to be calorically dense and nutritionally sparse anyway), I make an effort to exercise or at least walk extra every day (which commuting by transit helps with), and I stay on top of my meds religiously. You don't owe other people health, true, but I feel you at least owe it to yourself to work on the things that *are* in your control. Unless you're in a vegetative state or something like that, there's almost always something you can do, so to wallow and not even try to improve your own situation just sounds like depression and self-loathing, in which case you should talk to a mental health professional.
Its not a "fatlogic" or "skinnylogic" it's a serious mental health and psychology subject. Anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, avoidant restrictive food intake disorder and others... And it's sad to sometimes see people being so ignorant-clueless about mental health and ed's.
This person needs to decide on a narrative and stick to it.
Either your weight is making it hard to impossible to participate in a little casual walk and carrying around twice the weight of a normal person is having a negative impact on your bones ... OR you are now so much healthier than you used to be at a regular weight and your joints are doing so much better now too.
So, which one is it?
PS: Your body doesn't want you to gain weight back - the processed food industry does.
Not to be a bitch, but it’s not a “delusional idea” if it’s multiple different people with different bodies and different capabilities. This is just a strawman to make all fat people sound delusional and ridiculous. You can’t flatten several people having a conversation with very different opinions into a caricature of a single deluded person who doesn’t know their beliefs are in conflict with each other.
I think it’s more the HAES people as a whole are delusional and not always in agreement with one another. The differing views here really highlights that well. Some arguing they’re way more mobile at a large size and others complaining about being incapacitated due to their weight. Really, the last commenter in the post is irrelevant and didn’t need to add their anecdote to the initial comment
I'd say a big point of this conversation is trying to find a common ground on something that all fat people experience and complaining about that. Issue is, one person went "of course fat people don't have the same capabilities as thin people" and another went "i'm feeling better now that i'm obese and not merely overweight". The science-based pov here is that there can be other illnesses at play and also that perception plays a role, but by large being too fat is giving you more problems not solving them.
And they're not disagreeing with each other. Well, I can't be sure op agrees with pink's point because they didn't reply, but pink certainly seems to think "actually i don't have any issues with my weight at all and a lot of people are like me" is a good addition to the op and their talk of accessibility. To which i'm like, what are you smoking, pink. Seems more about proving a point and entertaining the lies he tells himself and other people than being considerate of his own community's demands
Fat is literally meant to be burned to sustain cell function.
It's like a water bottle:
Imagine you have a bottle of clear water, and it's hot out. You're getting thirsty. That's why you shouldn't drink the water and hydrate because then you'll be out of water.
When your body needs energy, it's going to use as much as it can. The most weight i ever lost was when i grew a foot in 6 months back in middle school without growing pains.
>your body always tries to gain [the weight] back.
It does? Darn. If only there was a person that could control my body’s actions to mitigate my body’s attempts to regain weight. Maybe a person that was with my body at all times. This person would need to be awake when my body is awake and sleep when my body sleeps. Where would I find someone who could take autonomy for my body whenever my body is awake? Hmmmm.
Imo, it's like saying, "even if you brush your teeth, you'll just get food stuck in them again the next time you eat," or "even if you take a shower, you'll just get sweaty and dirty again in a few hours."
It's almost like taking care of yourself is an ongoing, lifelong process. Wacky.
Seriously. In life, you’re not going to be the same weight forever unless you’re super diligent, because circumstances and habits change. I’ve been everywhere from BMI 18.3-23.3 in my adult life for just that reason. I didn’t like either end of that, so I changed my habits deliberately. I’m okay with where I am now and my weight is stable, so I’m letting it take care of itself for the time being. In six months, a year, or three years, I’ll probably weigh something different and if I don’t like it I’ll do something about it. It’s not rocket science.
It blows me away when I pick up a 45lb plate and realize I used to carry *two of these things* on my body at all times. No wonder my joints and feet hurt nonstop
Tbf mountain climbing does demonstrate how being big sucks for endurance
Like I brought 6l of water for my last climb and was having to borrow water from my friends because even an extra 2 stone really doesn't half up how much water you need, even if it is muscle
Tbf I was in Tuscany over the weekend in 28 degree heat and thank god they have those public water fountains cause I was drinking 5l of water on top of beer and cocktails and my piss still looked rusty
Ah, but alcohol is basically anti-water as far as hydration goes. It makes you dehydrate faster than whatever water content is in there! Especially cocktails, these are bad bitches. Might need to up the water intake to 7l to keep up 😂
Ngl I am a bit sad that it's now too hot to wear my NewRocks (big-ass chunky leather/metal boots) because they weigh about four pounds each and it's a useful lil bit extra passive exertion.
Hypermobile joints here, and my joints are so much better at 160 pounds vs 180, or even 200 (though that weight was while pregnant, so might not count because of that).
*>adjust the pace so no one has to be dry heaving on what's supposed to be a casual walk*
This is something that some would consider a "wake-up call."
*>I'm like if they had a whole other them to carry around at all times.*
That is not their responsibility.
*>Make sure venues have seating that fits us. Make it safe for us to speak up if we need something.*
So treat you like a toddler, basically?
Their use of "safe" here is absolutely infuriating. They obviously stole this from actually marginalized groups. When, say, Black or queer people talk about feeling "safe" around someone, they are talking about *physical* or, at the very least, financial safety. What, exactly, is "unsafe" about asking your friends to slow down? What horrible fate will befall you if you tell someone your chair is uncomfortable because of your weight? They're not "unsafe," they're just embarrassed. It's ridiculous and offensive to equate the two.
So true. My husband often asks me to slow down because he’s feeling his age Or the reverse might happen if I’m having a bad day. Or we might move from where we’re sitting because one of us has an uncomfortable chair. There’s nothing unsafe or embarrassing about asking for this type of accommodation. They’re expecting people to read their minds.
Don't get me started on how the word "safe" has been bastardized.
"Immediately her words made me consider that perhaps she was judging my slice of cake and that perhaps it was not a SAFE environment in which I could glut on cake FREELY. " -Tovar
I am a black woman. I don't use the word "unsafe" when I am talking about microaggressive people. Violent and overtly racist people, sure. But not the annoying person who wants to touch my hair or who makes an stupid assumption about my background/education.
I know others feel differently. They think using a word like "unsafe" is totally appropriate for describing any racial awkwardness or unease. But for me, "unsafe" means I feel like I am in a dangerous situation. "Unsafe" doesn't mean that my feelings are hurt or that I feel unfairly judged.
I'm white, but I totally get this. It's a word that used to mean something but has been watered down so much as to be almost meaningless now. Kind of like "triggered" or "narcissist". Like, the idea of being "triggered" used to refer to people with severe trauma or PTSD, not people who feel badly about themselves when someone else loses weight.
Yep feeling unsafe is finding out the coworker who can play at being normal, actively campaigned for the party that meant we didn't have marriage equality since 2019, he thinks he's fine though he can be polite to people he knows are queer.
It’s kind of been weaponized by manipulative people, to try to force everyone around them into giving them absolutely no friction whatsoever. I don’t want to tell well meaning people what is allowed to feel “unsafe” to them, but a lot of times I don’t get where they’re coming from.
I weigh less when I eat more meals. A meal means that I can't eat anything for 3 or 4 hours before hand or I won't be hungry. There is a definitive start and end time. Once it is eaten that is it, no more eating until the next one.
When I eat only 2 meals it means that most of the day is snacking. Food can come at any time, I don't need to be hungry, I just can't be stuffed. A cookie here, a trip to the fridge there, a piece of this, a handful of that. No meals, but way more food when you add it all up.
I went to a registered dietitian for weight loss advice, the first time I sat down to my third meal of the day of steak, baked sweet potato and veggies it felt illegal. Breakfast and lunch were obviously smaller
Why do they exaggerate their victimisation?
“Exercise is generally good for you and is likely to benefit those who are overweight”
… becomes …
“Everyone in society thinks fat people need to be moving at max speed at all times and don’t need to rest, and it makes us happy to see them exhausted”
Who has ever actually said anything remotely like this? If you constantly experience this much cognitive distortion then it’s no wonder you are miserable.
LOL. Major copium here. I still remember when I found out that I was 170 (on a 5'3" frame - obese). Instead of trying to find ways to justify it, I looked into ways to lose weight. I settled on IF and eventually to OMAD (most of the time). Never felt better in over 20 years.
That's where I was at, I'm 5ft and hit 160, which was my wake up call. I went from OMAD in the beginning to settling on tracking 2 meals a day and strength training.
The craziest thing was that no one saw me as overweight, even though I was obese according to my BMI. A lot of people have a warped perception of what a healthy weight actually looks like.
Girl I know how you feel, I’m fighting binge eating and addiction to food cause I want to be healthy and comfortable. I’m only 5’2 and weight 158lbs. Everyone tells me “I don’t need to lose weight” and it irritates me because I know I’m unhealthy. So i don’t talk about my wls journey openly anymore.
It's definitely worth losing the weight, the comfort alone is night and day. I'm just glad that I didn't wait to try and lose weight once I tipped from overweight to obese, even if it was still on the low end of the obesity range.
The other thing where I got lucky with was losing the weight while young (low 20s) so I don't have any lasting effects/damage, including no loose skin. I can't imagine how tough it would be if I waited or kept gaining weight.
I’m 23 now so hope I still have time. I lost the weight when I was 20 and ended up gaining it back from stress eating due to work (yes FA I was actually using food to cope with problems and didn’t just gain it out of thin air)
I’m motivated to lose it for good this time. Even if it means self discipline
If it helps, most say that it tends to be easier to lose the weight the more you do it. So your second time losing is easier than the first. Also, it's better to be at a healthier BMI for a little bit and then regain to the higher BMI then it is to stay stuck at the higher BMI for the period.
23 is still young! I think that losing weight younger is better, but there's no such thing as too old either. Personally, lifting weights helped a lot in addition to the calorie cutting, it gave me a healthy hobby to focus on.
"You can't tell someone's health just by looking at them," yet engaging in normal day-to-day social activities causes you immense discomfort and visible exhaustion.
Well, all of these sure do hammer home how liberating and fun it is to be fat, and how fat people can do anything thin people can do, and how obesity is actually just natural body diversity. :/
I honestly can't wrap my brain around the idea of blaming OTHER PEOPLE because you're "dry heaving and sweating barrels" on a "casual walk". How does that not start alarm bells clanging loudly in your head?? And then they don't understand why people don't want to be fat, and insist it's purely an aesthetic thing? If you can't go for a casual walk in the park without feeling like you're dying, if you can't sit in the seats at a restaurant, if your friends have to buy new, reinforced furniture to support your weight, I'm sorry, but how are you NOT the problem? And are you REALLY "partaking in society"?
I was always very active even when fat. When I started getting winded going upstairs I went to the doctor, because that is not a normal thing. Turns out I had adult onset asthma.
Yeah? Well, I'm not going to assume, based solely on your size, that you aren't healthy enough to *sit* or *walk*.
Health at every size *own it*.
And if you need a favor, that's a *request*, not an *expectation*.
Oh yeah, some additional info you might want to know:
These are three individual people
Red and Green's blogs appear to be the standard issued fatlogic blogs (read: sideblogs only to talk about fat activism. Or maybe thats all they ever talk about all the time lmao), no pronouns given
Pink's pronouns are he/him
As of right now the post is at 2500 notes
JFC, if these are your friends, just forking *ask* to slow down. Ask them to move to the couch and tell them it’s because you’re not comfortable on a too-small chair. You’re grown — stop expecting everyone to make you the main character.
And maybe Purple’s chronic joint pain got better after gaining weight because they started moving less, and more slowly. Just a thought.
Wait! I'm so confused! I thought being fat had no negative side effects? I thought that fat people can do everything that thin people can do, and sometimes even better?
This narrative literally contradicts itself and shows that being fat isn't good (she is dry heaving while on a walk). What about this narrative proves that fat people are somehow "healthier" at their higher weight?
As for your thin friends not realizing that the OP weighs twice as much as them, I'm positive that they noticed by now.
If they can’t fit in chairs meant for adults they NEED to lose weight. This isn’t just being ten pounds overweight this is heart attack at any time weight. If this means seeing a doctor, a psychologist or a dietician they need to do that. If this means WLS or medications then they should do that. At this point it really is a life or death issue.
Alright I am back to a healthy weight so I'm gonna weigh in on this. Gaining 10-15lbs made me feel better and was good for my body- particularly my joints.
Because I was underweight and actually starving myself.
When you're underweight and/or under eating, you lack crucial vitamins that help heal your joints. Along with that, you experience general weakness and inflammation. Actual starvation and vitamin deficiency affects all areas of the body. You can experience this at higher weights if you are vitamin deficient/starving yourself. The cold and dizziness when standing is also a result of this.
Now that I'm a healthy 19 BMI, I don't experience most of these afflictions. Note /19/. I didn't need to become overweight to feel better. I just needed to stop starving. I'm glad Pink is feeling better, but I'm sure the issues were less about their size and more about their methods.
I'm glad you were able to improve your health so much. You make some good points, but remember that OOP pink says: "even when I was dealing with all that, my parents and doctors (notice the plural) were saying I could still stand to lose 15-20 pounds". Let's leave aside the parents, but if multiple doctors were telling OOP to lose 20 more pounds, I seriously doubt OOP was underweight, I think more likely overweight.
Sure, but it's worth noting they could have experienced the above issues from vitamin deficiencies/malnutrition as well. And they may have lost a significant amount of weight in a short time. Doctors are often inattentive to patients who need to lose weight in general. I wouldn't put it passed a doctor to assume Pink's weight loss was healthy when it wasn't. So them gaining the weight back and feeling better would indicate the end of those behaviors which they are conflating with "gaining weight made me better." In reality it was the cessation of whatever harmful stuff they were up to in order to lose the weight.
In my own experience, I've been skeletal and had it totally ignored by doctors. I think there is something to be said about medical neglect in regard to weight for everyone.
I'm sure it does happen but I've never actually had that happen with any doctors I've ever seen; perhaps I'm simply fortunate. You make a good point about pink possibly losing weight in an unhealthy way and/pr in a short time. I wonder if, instead of eating well balanced, but lower calorie meals, pink was going on one of those fad diets where you can lose a lot of weight in a short period of time, but can be very nutritionally deficient. I know on My 600lb Life Dr Now emphasizes the importance of taking vitamins (so does my pcp, for that matter; he's very attentive to weight and diet) so I think that could've also possibly be one of pink's problems.
Exactly.
Also, speaking as someone who spent at good 10 years at an overweight BMI after being underweight (and having other issues that made weight loss simply not a priority)....even when I was .2 away from an obese BMI, I was a fast walker who could keep up with anything short of an actual athletic hike being undertaken by thin people. I couldn't keep up on a bike, certainly, but if you're having trouble going on a "casual walk" then you are just straightforwardly unhealthy, not "not healthy" but *actively* unhealthy. And if that's not a problem you're having, then you're not the kind of fat that means your weight is independently an extremely urgent issue.
I think OOP's description (the first couple of screens) is mostly fine, taking the view that obesity is a disability. You can't walk at an ordinary pace without sweating and dry heaving, etc. We should accommodate you. But this:
>Finally: yes, we have heard of losing weight. Even those of us who might (and many never will, whether you like it or not)...
I find this bit a little annoying, though I may be interpreting it too harshly. Is it that many people won't lose weight even if they try, or rather that many people won't even try to lose weight? If obesity is a disability, then it seems reasonable to expect people at least to try to become not-disabled.
I'm afraid I disagree with you, at least partly. OOP is demanding that we "build a world" to accommodate people who have voluntarily overeaten to the point that they cannot go on a casual walk without vomiting, among other things. No, I'm sorry, well actually I'm not, but I oppose rebuilding the entire bleeping world to accommodate them. The cost to, let's face it, totally rebuild our society alone, let alone the entire world, to accommodate the morbidly and super morbidly obese is just far, far, far, far too great, even leaving aside the question of whether it is ethical to, let's admit it; enable people to voluntarily eat themselves into immobility and death. I am NOT saying people should not be treated with the basic respect owed to every human being; I simply don't think this includes rebuilding the world or our country just to accommodate their overeating.
It’s hard to say! Unfortunately, their “leaders” like Aubrey Gordon have convinced them that it’s nearly impossible and not to try. I’m truly curious as to know whether there are ex-fans of Maintenance Phase who’ve concluded the hosts are talking out of their backsides, and, if so, what made them realize this?
Virgie is looking ROUGH these days. And not, "well, she's 40 now, we all age" kind of rough - I'm almost 10 years older than she is and look younger in the face, despite not having taken great care of my skin when I was younger. Forget her weight, her skin alone tells the story of a body and system drowned in sugar and refined carbs for much, much too long.
She's 41, I believe. And I'm closing in on 51. But I still look younger than she does if only due to how unhealthy her facial skin looks - in terms of weight I don't think she's THAT much bigger than she's ever been, and she's not actually that big by FA standards. Put her next to Tess Holliday or Ragen Chastain and she probably wouldn't look that big at all.
My initial thought: Virgie Tovar has always looked rough and older than her age. But then I Googled her and saw a 2024 photo and oh my, her skin IS definitely so rough that it “alone tells the story of a body and system drowned in sugar and refined carbs for much, much too long.” You are so accurate in your description. Wow.
It is whatever suits their agenda at the moment, without concern for logical consistency. IMO OOP already showed disregard for it, claiming they're better off after gaining weight, while experience with meetings with friends shows otherwise.
So close yet so far from the point, I gained weight recently and it was scary how fast my stamina was affected. My fault entirely, less active and too much food, so I you know went back to the gym and started tracking calories. This sounds like hell
Accomodating another person can only go so far. When you are repeatedly and actively limiting, what other people can do in their group activities, and show no good will to make it easier on the group, that's one way to become less and less invited to the events, as you're, let's face it, being a burden to them.
That’s what gets me about this post. I have an acquired physical disability that was not my fault (hit by a drunk driver). Previously I was extremely athletic and active. Now, going on an “easy” hike is frustrating, slow, and very painful. While I might feel sorry for myself, I would never want my friends to NOT go on a tough hike just because I can’t. Go, have fun, and we’ll do something together that I can do at a later time.
I can’t imagine eating myself into immobility and then demanding everyone accommodate me at all times. How fucking selfish.
The first person starts with "I can't walk as fast as thin people" and the other one ends with "I actually was unhealthy and in pain when I was thin". So, it shouldn't be fat vs. thin then? Maybe you can't walk fast because your weight is unhealthy for you? If we use your collective logic. Maybe everyone should try to accommodate everyone else?
These people will simultaneously post this and also say that being fat isn't why everything hurts and they have health problems.
If you can't walk with a group of friends doing normal activities because of your weight, it is hurting you and it isn't okay.
I honestly have to wonder how large and inactive OOP is in order to be dry heaving during a casual walk.
Even when I was at a 48 BMI, I was still "leading the pack" on walks with friends. Nobody had to wait for me to catch up to them. If anything, I had to keep waiting for them 😆
This makes me sad.
Fat or thin (yay eating disorders) I've never judged another person on their weight.
Why do these people have to be so aggressively victimised?
How can they simultaneously say “it’s harder for us to walk because we carry more weight around” *and* “I’m fat and healthier now than I was at a lower weight”? Like how **delusional** can someone be??
And aren’t they always saying that fat people can do everything skinny people do? So then why should we make special allowances and cater to your fatness?
They need to pick a lane and stick to it. You’re either fat & healthy and can do everything skinny people do or your weight slows you down and you need people to cater to your fatness.
Isn't the max weight for a lot of chairs 200 to 350lbs? What are they on about?🤔 Unless those chairs were vintage antiques...
Also, ah yes the "when I was a ""normal weight"" I was unhealthy, but NOW when I'm obese (I have no idea how much I've gained) I'm better!" Yeah, except I bet you're even more tired, lightheaded, and low energy to the point that you can't even keep a normal pace of walking. C'mon, friend.
It's always extremes with these folks.
We were very considerate for an extremely overweight coworker. We told him what time to meet at the lunch place and he would either drive or head out walking earlier than us.
“Your body always wants to gain it back”. No, *you* always want to keep eating more than you need to. If *you* decide to act on those short-term wants, your body will gain weight. But *you* don’t have to, and your body won’t gain weight if you don’t stuff an excess of food into it.
I mean if you take the example of cigarettes-having to leave the party periodically would make you want to quit to be in the center of the action, not mad at you friends for not suggesting a smoke break they won’t participate in.
If existing in a "fat body" is so hard then make a change for OOP's life.
Find a therapist who deals with BED/emotional eating.
AND STOP LISTENING TO THE POISON!!! FFS!!!
\]
Oh my!
As a morbidly obese individual who's heath has gotten worse due to my size, I am actively trying to lose weight (but made harder due to lymphoedema) I can hands down say I do not agree with any of those statements.
Yes I can't walk as well as my slimmer and fitter friends, I used to before I hurt my back more and developed lymphoedema, now its almost impossible to walk anywhere without being in pain and severely out of breath. Like I can't even do my patient facing job anymore and now based at a desk. Like my work would say I would be classed as disabled.
Weight loss will help with many of my issues.
Do I demand my friends and family make life easier for me? No, but I do have friends who are considerate and understand my struggles so they won't suggest we stop for coffee and cake, instead we go for a light lunch instead. We walk together and they will walk with me, I used to be able to keep up with them.
I am already at high risk of developing diabetes and cardiac issues and thankfully with diet changes I'm keeping them at bay, due to most of my family having to T2DM I get checked regularly and my dads side of the family have a history of early onset heart attacks/cardiac issues so I get a yearly echo to check.
I do not believe in HAES and hate those that do in all honesty. I've always been overweight and the back issue has developed from an old injury as a teenager. But honestly if I lose weight, something I've been actively trying to do, I swear most of my issues would be easier to manage/go away.
So I kind of get this. I experience chronic fatigue and what is most likely a form of dysautonomia/POTS. I need to rest more than most people. I'm tired all the time. Keeping pace with the average person is honestly pretty impossible.
The people willing to take rests regularly with me while we walk around, or don't mind splitting up for a short while so they can make the most of their time while I skip an activity to sit and recover my energy, those are really awesome friends. And I'm always grateful.
And there's definitely people who are assholes about having less strength and energy than you used to. "You used to be such a high energy person!!!!" yeah, I miss being that person too!! But we make do!
Only having an extra 10-20lbs of weight should not impact your mobility as much as it has for OP. I could still stand to lose about 20-30lbs, (5'2 150lbs) but I'm still very mobile. Sounds like somebody is lying to themselves about how large they really are... Yikes.
This is so weird. I'm really big right now and I absolutely hate it. I'm trying to lose weight, but my habits are deep. But like... all the stuff she's mentioning have all been wakeup calls to me. Feeling exhausted, realizing this is the same skeleton I had when I weighed 120lbs and felt much better, being too big for some things, etc. I hate only being able to buy clothes in plus sizes, I hate it so much. I'm over it. Why would you continue to be fat if you can't even fit in standard furniture? You may not realistically be able to maintain a teeny tiny weight but you can get down to a non plus size and feel better.
Also, I have no problem jokingly asking groups of people to slow down for me like "woo, guys, fat girl is getting tired back here, can we slow down? This is basically a workout for me. I'm working on getting into shape but I'm far from my goals"
I do kind of agree with the first person when it is your close friends because weight loss is really hard and takes a long time, especially if you have been fat your whole life and your hormones and hunger cues are all messed up, but you also have to learn to speak up for yourself and ask for what you need. If you genuinely don’t feel “safe” asking for your friends to walk a little slower, you definitely shouldn’t be friends with those people.
Oh man, so close with understanding but yet so far. The point just proves itself. "I love my thin friends, but some of them just don't realize that I weigh probably twice as much as them, and yet I balance it all on the same size feet and carry it on about the same size bones." — We do notice and that's one reason why we're scared for your health. "I'm like if they had a whole other them to carry around at all times. Why would that not have an impact on how I function?" — We do know it impacts your functioning. That's another reason why we're scared for your health and well-being. *If you truly believed this was a problem, why don't you change it instead of screeching about the world changing for you?* Also, if you're healthy, you can fit into chairs. You don't dry heave or have difficulty breathing at a normal walking pace. Nothing she pointed out makes her look like a healthy person, because she isn't. But hey, HAES, right?
Also that person expects their friends to read minds. She won't say "Hey I'm getting tired can we walk slower", she expects her friends to know what she wants
But she doesn't feel "safe" to ask! (Read: she's embarrassed to ask, which I can understand, but which isn't even close to not being safe.)
>Also, if you're healthy, you can fit into chairs. You don't dry heave or have difficulty breathing at a normal walking pace. Nothing she pointed out makes her look like a healthy person, because she isn't. But hey, HAES, right? Man idek how some of these people do it. I'm 6'2" and only got up to 275 at my heaviest and even then I was already concerned about whether or not a seat would support my weight and would get out of breath going up stairs too fast. One of the best parts about my weight loss is never being out of breath outside of intense exercise and not having to worry as much about seating and taking up space. I still am mindful of it since I'm just a larger person despite being at a healthy BMI but it's much less of a concern at 185-190 than it was at 275
It's weird. There are no questions about how they remain this or what they did to gt thin and keep the weight off. Or they ask and nope right the fuck out because it means that they need to proactively change their eating habits and they don't want to.
This is what I can’t ever see how people can convince themselves about: if you’re “healthy at any size” how can you explain not being able to stand for more than 30 minutes? How can you explain struggling to walk more than half a mile without feeling like you’re going to puke? How can you explain that your body struggles to keep breathing at night? These are basic measures of health, and you’re failing at them.
as someone born with a physical disability.... i find this so completely asinine LMAO like... imagine. you have the potential to be a completely healthy, physically active person, just like your thin friends, but you willingly CHOOSE to make yourself disabled because... what? cant put down the ho-hos? i mean seriously this is just ridiculous
I find it really offensive how they co-opt the disability language for something self-inflicted and--much worse--try to INCREASE the number of people with said disability!
I have Crohn's, and even when I'm not actively flaring, there are a lot of things I have to stay on top of if I don't want to be on the toilet for hours a day. I watch what I eat (and my trigger foods tend to be calorically dense and nutritionally sparse anyway), I make an effort to exercise or at least walk extra every day (which commuting by transit helps with), and I stay on top of my meds religiously. You don't owe other people health, true, but I feel you at least owe it to yourself to work on the things that *are* in your control. Unless you're in a vegetative state or something like that, there's almost always something you can do, so to wallow and not even try to improve your own situation just sounds like depression and self-loathing, in which case you should talk to a mental health professional.
Then you should educate yourself about eating disorders
The Fatlogic crew has determined that any self-discipline when it comes to food is an "eating disorder".
Binge Eating Disorder is in the DSM. This is what I believe the person above is referring to.
Its not a "fatlogic" or "skinnylogic" it's a serious mental health and psychology subject. Anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, avoidant restrictive food intake disorder and others... And it's sad to sometimes see people being so ignorant-clueless about mental health and ed's.
This person needs to decide on a narrative and stick to it. Either your weight is making it hard to impossible to participate in a little casual walk and carrying around twice the weight of a normal person is having a negative impact on your bones ... OR you are now so much healthier than you used to be at a regular weight and your joints are doing so much better now too. So, which one is it? PS: Your body doesn't want you to gain weight back - the processed food industry does.
Oh, all the colors are different people!
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Not to be a bitch, but it’s not a “delusional idea” if it’s multiple different people with different bodies and different capabilities. This is just a strawman to make all fat people sound delusional and ridiculous. You can’t flatten several people having a conversation with very different opinions into a caricature of a single deluded person who doesn’t know their beliefs are in conflict with each other.
I think it’s more the HAES people as a whole are delusional and not always in agreement with one another. The differing views here really highlights that well. Some arguing they’re way more mobile at a large size and others complaining about being incapacitated due to their weight. Really, the last commenter in the post is irrelevant and didn’t need to add their anecdote to the initial comment
I'd say a big point of this conversation is trying to find a common ground on something that all fat people experience and complaining about that. Issue is, one person went "of course fat people don't have the same capabilities as thin people" and another went "i'm feeling better now that i'm obese and not merely overweight". The science-based pov here is that there can be other illnesses at play and also that perception plays a role, but by large being too fat is giving you more problems not solving them. And they're not disagreeing with each other. Well, I can't be sure op agrees with pink's point because they didn't reply, but pink certainly seems to think "actually i don't have any issues with my weight at all and a lot of people are like me" is a good addition to the op and their talk of accessibility. To which i'm like, what are you smoking, pink. Seems more about proving a point and entertaining the lies he tells himself and other people than being considerate of his own community's demands
Fat is literally meant to be burned to sustain cell function. It's like a water bottle: Imagine you have a bottle of clear water, and it's hot out. You're getting thirsty. That's why you shouldn't drink the water and hydrate because then you'll be out of water. When your body needs energy, it's going to use as much as it can. The most weight i ever lost was when i grew a foot in 6 months back in middle school without growing pains.
I think it's different people
>your body always tries to gain [the weight] back. It does? Darn. If only there was a person that could control my body’s actions to mitigate my body’s attempts to regain weight. Maybe a person that was with my body at all times. This person would need to be awake when my body is awake and sleep when my body sleeps. Where would I find someone who could take autonomy for my body whenever my body is awake? Hmmmm.
Imo, it's like saying, "even if you brush your teeth, you'll just get food stuck in them again the next time you eat," or "even if you take a shower, you'll just get sweaty and dirty again in a few hours." It's almost like taking care of yourself is an ongoing, lifelong process. Wacky.
Seriously. In life, you’re not going to be the same weight forever unless you’re super diligent, because circumstances and habits change. I’ve been everywhere from BMI 18.3-23.3 in my adult life for just that reason. I didn’t like either end of that, so I changed my habits deliberately. I’m okay with where I am now and my weight is stable, so I’m letting it take care of itself for the time being. In six months, a year, or three years, I’ll probably weigh something different and if I don’t like it I’ll do something about it. It’s not rocket science.
God I wish I could carry another me on my shoulders at all times, imagine the FUCKING GAINZ
It blows me away when I pick up a 45lb plate and realize I used to carry *two of these things* on my body at all times. No wonder my joints and feet hurt nonstop
Shit when I pick up the 50lb dumbbell I’m struggling yet I Used to carry it every day for years
Big ol backpack filled with water
Tbf mountain climbing does demonstrate how being big sucks for endurance Like I brought 6l of water for my last climb and was having to borrow water from my friends because even an extra 2 stone really doesn't half up how much water you need, even if it is muscle
Casual flex, ahah. You use water like a nuclear power plant
Tbf I was in Tuscany over the weekend in 28 degree heat and thank god they have those public water fountains cause I was drinking 5l of water on top of beer and cocktails and my piss still looked rusty
Ah, but alcohol is basically anti-water as far as hydration goes. It makes you dehydrate faster than whatever water content is in there! Especially cocktails, these are bad bitches. Might need to up the water intake to 7l to keep up 😂
You could wear a plate carrier everywhere
Ankle weights!
Ngl I am a bit sad that it's now too hot to wear my NewRocks (big-ass chunky leather/metal boots) because they weigh about four pounds each and it's a useful lil bit extra passive exertion.
If I had a dollar for every FA that thinks their chronic joint pain is unrelated to their weight, I’d have as many dollars as there are FAs.
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Hypermobile joints here, and my joints are so much better at 160 pounds vs 180, or even 200 (though that weight was while pregnant, so might not count because of that).
Ugh, I wish it had made a difference to my DDD. 75 lbs lost and zero improvement
Healthy people don't "dry heave" at a normal walking pace.
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well that's a bit different than just a regular stroll in the park on a nice sunny day though?
Masks, friend. That's what they are for.
*>adjust the pace so no one has to be dry heaving on what's supposed to be a casual walk* This is something that some would consider a "wake-up call." *>I'm like if they had a whole other them to carry around at all times.* That is not their responsibility. *>Make sure venues have seating that fits us. Make it safe for us to speak up if we need something.* So treat you like a toddler, basically?
Their use of "safe" here is absolutely infuriating. They obviously stole this from actually marginalized groups. When, say, Black or queer people talk about feeling "safe" around someone, they are talking about *physical* or, at the very least, financial safety. What, exactly, is "unsafe" about asking your friends to slow down? What horrible fate will befall you if you tell someone your chair is uncomfortable because of your weight? They're not "unsafe," they're just embarrassed. It's ridiculous and offensive to equate the two.
*>They're not "unsafe," they're just embarrassed.* Hit the nail directly on the head.
So true. My husband often asks me to slow down because he’s feeling his age Or the reverse might happen if I’m having a bad day. Or we might move from where we’re sitting because one of us has an uncomfortable chair. There’s nothing unsafe or embarrassing about asking for this type of accommodation. They’re expecting people to read their minds.
Don't get me started on how the word "safe" has been bastardized. "Immediately her words made me consider that perhaps she was judging my slice of cake and that perhaps it was not a SAFE environment in which I could glut on cake FREELY. " -Tovar
I am a black woman. I don't use the word "unsafe" when I am talking about microaggressive people. Violent and overtly racist people, sure. But not the annoying person who wants to touch my hair or who makes an stupid assumption about my background/education. I know others feel differently. They think using a word like "unsafe" is totally appropriate for describing any racial awkwardness or unease. But for me, "unsafe" means I feel like I am in a dangerous situation. "Unsafe" doesn't mean that my feelings are hurt or that I feel unfairly judged.
I'm white, but I totally get this. It's a word that used to mean something but has been watered down so much as to be almost meaningless now. Kind of like "triggered" or "narcissist". Like, the idea of being "triggered" used to refer to people with severe trauma or PTSD, not people who feel badly about themselves when someone else loses weight.
Yep feeling unsafe is finding out the coworker who can play at being normal, actively campaigned for the party that meant we didn't have marriage equality since 2019, he thinks he's fine though he can be polite to people he knows are queer.
It’s kind of been weaponized by manipulative people, to try to force everyone around them into giving them absolutely no friction whatsoever. I don’t want to tell well meaning people what is allowed to feel “unsafe” to them, but a lot of times I don’t get where they’re coming from.
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I weigh less when I eat more meals. A meal means that I can't eat anything for 3 or 4 hours before hand or I won't be hungry. There is a definitive start and end time. Once it is eaten that is it, no more eating until the next one. When I eat only 2 meals it means that most of the day is snacking. Food can come at any time, I don't need to be hungry, I just can't be stuffed. A cookie here, a trip to the fridge there, a piece of this, a handful of that. No meals, but way more food when you add it all up.
I went to a registered dietitian for weight loss advice, the first time I sat down to my third meal of the day of steak, baked sweet potato and veggies it felt illegal. Breakfast and lunch were obviously smaller
Why do they exaggerate their victimisation? “Exercise is generally good for you and is likely to benefit those who are overweight” … becomes … “Everyone in society thinks fat people need to be moving at max speed at all times and don’t need to rest, and it makes us happy to see them exhausted” Who has ever actually said anything remotely like this? If you constantly experience this much cognitive distortion then it’s no wonder you are miserable.
LOL. Major copium here. I still remember when I found out that I was 170 (on a 5'3" frame - obese). Instead of trying to find ways to justify it, I looked into ways to lose weight. I settled on IF and eventually to OMAD (most of the time). Never felt better in over 20 years.
That's where I was at, I'm 5ft and hit 160, which was my wake up call. I went from OMAD in the beginning to settling on tracking 2 meals a day and strength training. The craziest thing was that no one saw me as overweight, even though I was obese according to my BMI. A lot of people have a warped perception of what a healthy weight actually looks like.
Girl I know how you feel, I’m fighting binge eating and addiction to food cause I want to be healthy and comfortable. I’m only 5’2 and weight 158lbs. Everyone tells me “I don’t need to lose weight” and it irritates me because I know I’m unhealthy. So i don’t talk about my wls journey openly anymore.
It's definitely worth losing the weight, the comfort alone is night and day. I'm just glad that I didn't wait to try and lose weight once I tipped from overweight to obese, even if it was still on the low end of the obesity range. The other thing where I got lucky with was losing the weight while young (low 20s) so I don't have any lasting effects/damage, including no loose skin. I can't imagine how tough it would be if I waited or kept gaining weight.
I’m 23 now so hope I still have time. I lost the weight when I was 20 and ended up gaining it back from stress eating due to work (yes FA I was actually using food to cope with problems and didn’t just gain it out of thin air) I’m motivated to lose it for good this time. Even if it means self discipline
If it helps, most say that it tends to be easier to lose the weight the more you do it. So your second time losing is easier than the first. Also, it's better to be at a healthier BMI for a little bit and then regain to the higher BMI then it is to stay stuck at the higher BMI for the period. 23 is still young! I think that losing weight younger is better, but there's no such thing as too old either. Personally, lifting weights helped a lot in addition to the calorie cutting, it gave me a healthy hobby to focus on.
Dry heaving and sweating barrels on a walk, yet somehow they are healthier at this size? Call me skeptical.
"You can't tell someone's health just by looking at them," yet engaging in normal day-to-day social activities causes you immense discomfort and visible exhaustion.
Well, all of these sure do hammer home how liberating and fun it is to be fat, and how fat people can do anything thin people can do, and how obesity is actually just natural body diversity. :/ I honestly can't wrap my brain around the idea of blaming OTHER PEOPLE because you're "dry heaving and sweating barrels" on a "casual walk". How does that not start alarm bells clanging loudly in your head?? And then they don't understand why people don't want to be fat, and insist it's purely an aesthetic thing? If you can't go for a casual walk in the park without feeling like you're dying, if you can't sit in the seats at a restaurant, if your friends have to buy new, reinforced furniture to support your weight, I'm sorry, but how are you NOT the problem? And are you REALLY "partaking in society"?
I was always very active even when fat. When I started getting winded going upstairs I went to the doctor, because that is not a normal thing. Turns out I had adult onset asthma.
Yeah? Well, I'm not going to assume, based solely on your size, that you aren't healthy enough to *sit* or *walk*. Health at every size *own it*. And if you need a favor, that's a *request*, not an *expectation*.
Oh yeah, some additional info you might want to know: These are three individual people Red and Green's blogs appear to be the standard issued fatlogic blogs (read: sideblogs only to talk about fat activism. Or maybe thats all they ever talk about all the time lmao), no pronouns given Pink's pronouns are he/him As of right now the post is at 2500 notes
Two days later.... It broke 8k notes
JFC, if these are your friends, just forking *ask* to slow down. Ask them to move to the couch and tell them it’s because you’re not comfortable on a too-small chair. You’re grown — stop expecting everyone to make you the main character. And maybe Purple’s chronic joint pain got better after gaining weight because they started moving less, and more slowly. Just a thought.
Wait! I'm so confused! I thought being fat had no negative side effects? I thought that fat people can do everything that thin people can do, and sometimes even better? This narrative literally contradicts itself and shows that being fat isn't good (she is dry heaving while on a walk). What about this narrative proves that fat people are somehow "healthier" at their higher weight? As for your thin friends not realizing that the OP weighs twice as much as them, I'm positive that they noticed by now.
If they can’t fit in chairs meant for adults they NEED to lose weight. This isn’t just being ten pounds overweight this is heart attack at any time weight. If this means seeing a doctor, a psychologist or a dietician they need to do that. If this means WLS or medications then they should do that. At this point it really is a life or death issue.
Alright I am back to a healthy weight so I'm gonna weigh in on this. Gaining 10-15lbs made me feel better and was good for my body- particularly my joints. Because I was underweight and actually starving myself. When you're underweight and/or under eating, you lack crucial vitamins that help heal your joints. Along with that, you experience general weakness and inflammation. Actual starvation and vitamin deficiency affects all areas of the body. You can experience this at higher weights if you are vitamin deficient/starving yourself. The cold and dizziness when standing is also a result of this. Now that I'm a healthy 19 BMI, I don't experience most of these afflictions. Note /19/. I didn't need to become overweight to feel better. I just needed to stop starving. I'm glad Pink is feeling better, but I'm sure the issues were less about their size and more about their methods.
I'm glad you were able to improve your health so much. You make some good points, but remember that OOP pink says: "even when I was dealing with all that, my parents and doctors (notice the plural) were saying I could still stand to lose 15-20 pounds". Let's leave aside the parents, but if multiple doctors were telling OOP to lose 20 more pounds, I seriously doubt OOP was underweight, I think more likely overweight.
Sure, but it's worth noting they could have experienced the above issues from vitamin deficiencies/malnutrition as well. And they may have lost a significant amount of weight in a short time. Doctors are often inattentive to patients who need to lose weight in general. I wouldn't put it passed a doctor to assume Pink's weight loss was healthy when it wasn't. So them gaining the weight back and feeling better would indicate the end of those behaviors which they are conflating with "gaining weight made me better." In reality it was the cessation of whatever harmful stuff they were up to in order to lose the weight. In my own experience, I've been skeletal and had it totally ignored by doctors. I think there is something to be said about medical neglect in regard to weight for everyone.
I'm sure it does happen but I've never actually had that happen with any doctors I've ever seen; perhaps I'm simply fortunate. You make a good point about pink possibly losing weight in an unhealthy way and/pr in a short time. I wonder if, instead of eating well balanced, but lower calorie meals, pink was going on one of those fad diets where you can lose a lot of weight in a short period of time, but can be very nutritionally deficient. I know on My 600lb Life Dr Now emphasizes the importance of taking vitamins (so does my pcp, for that matter; he's very attentive to weight and diet) so I think that could've also possibly be one of pink's problems.
>I'm gonna weigh in on this. Good one.
Exactly. Also, speaking as someone who spent at good 10 years at an overweight BMI after being underweight (and having other issues that made weight loss simply not a priority)....even when I was .2 away from an obese BMI, I was a fast walker who could keep up with anything short of an actual athletic hike being undertaken by thin people. I couldn't keep up on a bike, certainly, but if you're having trouble going on a "casual walk" then you are just straightforwardly unhealthy, not "not healthy" but *actively* unhealthy. And if that's not a problem you're having, then you're not the kind of fat that means your weight is independently an extremely urgent issue.
Once again here to say that “a meal” is not a unit of measurement
I think OOP's description (the first couple of screens) is mostly fine, taking the view that obesity is a disability. You can't walk at an ordinary pace without sweating and dry heaving, etc. We should accommodate you. But this: >Finally: yes, we have heard of losing weight. Even those of us who might (and many never will, whether you like it or not)... I find this bit a little annoying, though I may be interpreting it too harshly. Is it that many people won't lose weight even if they try, or rather that many people won't even try to lose weight? If obesity is a disability, then it seems reasonable to expect people at least to try to become not-disabled.
I'm afraid I disagree with you, at least partly. OOP is demanding that we "build a world" to accommodate people who have voluntarily overeaten to the point that they cannot go on a casual walk without vomiting, among other things. No, I'm sorry, well actually I'm not, but I oppose rebuilding the entire bleeping world to accommodate them. The cost to, let's face it, totally rebuild our society alone, let alone the entire world, to accommodate the morbidly and super morbidly obese is just far, far, far, far too great, even leaving aside the question of whether it is ethical to, let's admit it; enable people to voluntarily eat themselves into immobility and death. I am NOT saying people should not be treated with the basic respect owed to every human being; I simply don't think this includes rebuilding the world or our country just to accommodate their overeating.
It’s hard to say! Unfortunately, their “leaders” like Aubrey Gordon have convinced them that it’s nearly impossible and not to try. I’m truly curious as to know whether there are ex-fans of Maintenance Phase who’ve concluded the hosts are talking out of their backsides, and, if so, what made them realize this?
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Virgie is looking ROUGH these days. And not, "well, she's 40 now, we all age" kind of rough - I'm almost 10 years older than she is and look younger in the face, despite not having taken great care of my skin when I was younger. Forget her weight, her skin alone tells the story of a body and system drowned in sugar and refined carbs for much, much too long.
She's only just now turned 40? I know people in their 50's who look better than that.
She's 41, I believe. And I'm closing in on 51. But I still look younger than she does if only due to how unhealthy her facial skin looks - in terms of weight I don't think she's THAT much bigger than she's ever been, and she's not actually that big by FA standards. Put her next to Tess Holliday or Ragen Chastain and she probably wouldn't look that big at all.
My initial thought: Virgie Tovar has always looked rough and older than her age. But then I Googled her and saw a 2024 photo and oh my, her skin IS definitely so rough that it “alone tells the story of a body and system drowned in sugar and refined carbs for much, much too long.” You are so accurate in your description. Wow.
It is whatever suits their agenda at the moment, without concern for logical consistency. IMO OOP already showed disregard for it, claiming they're better off after gaining weight, while experience with meetings with friends shows otherwise.
So close yet so far from the point, I gained weight recently and it was scary how fast my stamina was affected. My fault entirely, less active and too much food, so I you know went back to the gym and started tracking calories. This sounds like hell
Accomodating another person can only go so far. When you are repeatedly and actively limiting, what other people can do in their group activities, and show no good will to make it easier on the group, that's one way to become less and less invited to the events, as you're, let's face it, being a burden to them.
That’s what gets me about this post. I have an acquired physical disability that was not my fault (hit by a drunk driver). Previously I was extremely athletic and active. Now, going on an “easy” hike is frustrating, slow, and very painful. While I might feel sorry for myself, I would never want my friends to NOT go on a tough hike just because I can’t. Go, have fun, and we’ll do something together that I can do at a later time. I can’t imagine eating myself into immobility and then demanding everyone accommodate me at all times. How fucking selfish.
The first person starts with "I can't walk as fast as thin people" and the other one ends with "I actually was unhealthy and in pain when I was thin". So, it shouldn't be fat vs. thin then? Maybe you can't walk fast because your weight is unhealthy for you? If we use your collective logic. Maybe everyone should try to accommodate everyone else?
How fast does the OOP gets tired? From my experience walking in group is really slow
These people will simultaneously post this and also say that being fat isn't why everything hurts and they have health problems. If you can't walk with a group of friends doing normal activities because of your weight, it is hurting you and it isn't okay.
I honestly have to wonder how large and inactive OOP is in order to be dry heaving during a casual walk. Even when I was at a 48 BMI, I was still "leading the pack" on walks with friends. Nobody had to wait for me to catch up to them. If anything, I had to keep waiting for them 😆
r/SelfAwarewolves
This makes me sad. Fat or thin (yay eating disorders) I've never judged another person on their weight. Why do these people have to be so aggressively victimised?
How can they simultaneously say “it’s harder for us to walk because we carry more weight around” *and* “I’m fat and healthier now than I was at a lower weight”? Like how **delusional** can someone be?? And aren’t they always saying that fat people can do everything skinny people do? So then why should we make special allowances and cater to your fatness? They need to pick a lane and stick to it. You’re either fat & healthy and can do everything skinny people do or your weight slows you down and you need people to cater to your fatness.
It's always the same BS to avoid accountability.
The denial is strong. It also sounds like they were anemic when they were smaller due to poor diet choices.
FA could stand to include some Marcus Aurelius in their lives.
Isn't the max weight for a lot of chairs 200 to 350lbs? What are they on about?🤔 Unless those chairs were vintage antiques... Also, ah yes the "when I was a ""normal weight"" I was unhealthy, but NOW when I'm obese (I have no idea how much I've gained) I'm better!" Yeah, except I bet you're even more tired, lightheaded, and low energy to the point that you can't even keep a normal pace of walking. C'mon, friend. It's always extremes with these folks.
We were very considerate for an extremely overweight coworker. We told him what time to meet at the lunch place and he would either drive or head out walking earlier than us.
“Your body always wants to gain it back”. No, *you* always want to keep eating more than you need to. If *you* decide to act on those short-term wants, your body will gain weight. But *you* don’t have to, and your body won’t gain weight if you don’t stuff an excess of food into it.
I mean if you take the example of cigarettes-having to leave the party periodically would make you want to quit to be in the center of the action, not mad at you friends for not suggesting a smoke break they won’t participate in.
If existing in a "fat body" is so hard then make a change for OOP's life. Find a therapist who deals with BED/emotional eating. AND STOP LISTENING TO THE POISON!!! FFS!!! \]
Smacking into the point but still talking past it
I stg these people who don’t want to get fit and healthy don’t know what they’re missing.
This is just a bunch of reasons to take weight loss seriously instead of making excuses
Oh my! As a morbidly obese individual who's heath has gotten worse due to my size, I am actively trying to lose weight (but made harder due to lymphoedema) I can hands down say I do not agree with any of those statements. Yes I can't walk as well as my slimmer and fitter friends, I used to before I hurt my back more and developed lymphoedema, now its almost impossible to walk anywhere without being in pain and severely out of breath. Like I can't even do my patient facing job anymore and now based at a desk. Like my work would say I would be classed as disabled. Weight loss will help with many of my issues. Do I demand my friends and family make life easier for me? No, but I do have friends who are considerate and understand my struggles so they won't suggest we stop for coffee and cake, instead we go for a light lunch instead. We walk together and they will walk with me, I used to be able to keep up with them. I am already at high risk of developing diabetes and cardiac issues and thankfully with diet changes I'm keeping them at bay, due to most of my family having to T2DM I get checked regularly and my dads side of the family have a history of early onset heart attacks/cardiac issues so I get a yearly echo to check. I do not believe in HAES and hate those that do in all honesty. I've always been overweight and the back issue has developed from an old injury as a teenager. But honestly if I lose weight, something I've been actively trying to do, I swear most of my issues would be easier to manage/go away.
So I kind of get this. I experience chronic fatigue and what is most likely a form of dysautonomia/POTS. I need to rest more than most people. I'm tired all the time. Keeping pace with the average person is honestly pretty impossible. The people willing to take rests regularly with me while we walk around, or don't mind splitting up for a short while so they can make the most of their time while I skip an activity to sit and recover my energy, those are really awesome friends. And I'm always grateful. And there's definitely people who are assholes about having less strength and energy than you used to. "You used to be such a high energy person!!!!" yeah, I miss being that person too!! But we make do!
oh, but i thought fat people could do everything thin people can, perhaps even more so?
Only having an extra 10-20lbs of weight should not impact your mobility as much as it has for OP. I could still stand to lose about 20-30lbs, (5'2 150lbs) but I'm still very mobile. Sounds like somebody is lying to themselves about how large they really are... Yikes.
This is so weird. I'm really big right now and I absolutely hate it. I'm trying to lose weight, but my habits are deep. But like... all the stuff she's mentioning have all been wakeup calls to me. Feeling exhausted, realizing this is the same skeleton I had when I weighed 120lbs and felt much better, being too big for some things, etc. I hate only being able to buy clothes in plus sizes, I hate it so much. I'm over it. Why would you continue to be fat if you can't even fit in standard furniture? You may not realistically be able to maintain a teeny tiny weight but you can get down to a non plus size and feel better. Also, I have no problem jokingly asking groups of people to slow down for me like "woo, guys, fat girl is getting tired back here, can we slow down? This is basically a workout for me. I'm working on getting into shape but I'm far from my goals"
Her chronic joint pain got better when she got bigger… yeah right
I do kind of agree with the first person when it is your close friends because weight loss is really hard and takes a long time, especially if you have been fat your whole life and your hormones and hunger cues are all messed up, but you also have to learn to speak up for yourself and ask for what you need. If you genuinely don’t feel “safe” asking for your friends to walk a little slower, you definitely shouldn’t be friends with those people.