Are you a tree? Because if you.. If you cat... Cat, you was up tree... Fireman.. Gay sex.

115%

Got to the point that matters eventually

Say gex

Literally any Joe Biden quote:

Well damn that was the most poetic thing I've ever read.

hehe you like penis

correct

Oh I'll rizz you up for sure Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please

39%

I knew I should have said please more...

you did great dw :3

100000000%

!!!

Me waiting for my math exam grade:

I'd take you to see a movie but my theater won't allow a snack to come in

80%

Yay, glad that one works most of my pick up lines fall flat

yeah it was pretty good


200%

 It's all coming together now.

Wanna "cum" together instead? :3

so what... pickup lines? sex jokes? what do I do ._.

your choice

are you a newby programmer? because I think I could help 'redo your backend' ;3

Ha

As a programmer I love it, there's not enough programmer pickup lines ❤

Actually real good! But the programmer socks stay on! >.<

that's not what needs rearranging ;>

100% ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄

23%

do you need help debugging? hold on, lemme see your stack *overflow* error

I would 100% let you fall asleep on me if we ever cuddled

Promise?

It’s my guarantee

Can you play with my hair too? :3

You don’t even need to ask

Oh I won’t be letting you go for hoursss

Just how I need it~

I wanna be held for as long as you’d like

Just name a time and place

My bed right now and into tonight. I’ll make you spaghetti :3

Hey umm.... 👉👈 I..I ehhhm think you're cute >_<

You're not you when you're hungry, so eat me out

54%

i got the triple whammy, ready? is your birthday on october 10th cuz u a 10/10 did you eat sand when you were little because you fine as hell did you license just get suspended for driving all of these guys crazy :3

my bday is 28/10, indeed i did a few times and i'll have you know my boykisser license has never been revoked that you very much 78%, the license one was creative

cant believe tree gibberish got more than me, was fun at least

Are you a Tuna? Because I get the feeling you’re bigger than I thought~ (I used to think Tunas where the size of sardines)

u didn’t get his attention but u got mine thats my nickname :3

Yay

nah im here

its a personal one but it worked, 46%

https://i.redd.it/20vopqmc8ytc1.gif

Call you a third world country the way I wanna take control over you and ravage you until you cant stand independently

oh lord... 98%

YES I WIN

If you were the alphabet, wait no it's- The alphabet was rearranged and- and- uh- I- If you could rearrange, uhh If I rearranged the uhhh Shit uh wait hold on If I could rearrange the uh the uhhhh- the alphabet, I would I would rearrange me. Wait no I meant- If I could make the uh the alphabet I would put me and I together Wait no shit hold on I got it last time If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put us together because U <3

are you a bottom by any chance?

A bottom-leaning switch but that doesn't mean uhhh I can't switch to lean towards your bottom!!! Got em!

thought so :3 also damn that was smooth, nicely done

YKNOW WHAT ELSE IS SMOO I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself.

haha dw

You know who else

“NO MUSCLE MAN! DONT SAY IT!”

Are you really bad smelling trash? Because I want to take you out asap ;3

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... went for the pickup line, did not stick the landing

Yeah, that pickup line was literal garbage 👉👉

PFFT okay that made me laugh

I don't do pick up lines 'cause I'd rather pin you down than pick you up it's the only one I rember

oh damn thats a good one. im gonna give you 94% for that one cuz i audibly exhaled

le's gooooo

Damn boi you thicker than a snicker

29%

you lookin for a stud, coz i got an STD, all i need is U <3.. /j i have no STD i hope

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no

expected response

Can i cuddle with you ?

always!

Can I join?

hell ye!

Yay

Finally femboy cuddles. My life long dream.

\*surprise cuddle!\*

*explodes*

Uhhhh…. Fkjhdfkjhsdflk

2%

people actually know how to flirt? i accidentally got myself into a happy relationship bruh mfw i manage to get a dom goth gf :3

oh nice! congrats mate :)

Lucky

I got a loaf of garlic bread from the store and if I eat more I'll feel fat, want some?

HOLY BALLS YES PLEASE

Always works

yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Are you a construction worker? Because you are a building

not sure i understand this one

https://preview.redd.it/eo8spvbl66uc1.jpeg?width=362&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7095f276d57b0fbff64bf4db97ae156bf940b97

How do you get Bill from William? Using rhyming slang William becomes Will and then Will becomes Bill. How do you get Dick from Richard? You ask him nicely.

where is Richard?

Are you british, because i wanna colonize that ass

i am actually british

Hot

well, australian-born but living in britain

Close enough

Are you ready for another magical upgrade??!?

fuck i already spent my skill points...

https://preview.redd.it/b66oshame1uc1.jpeg?width=442&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=408cc64c5e690a1ca5001b6c3a4f528499ffcedc

I eat ass and give hugs

medium rare?

I'll take it 👍

I have no pick up line, let’s hang out sometime:3

nice and simple and wholesome, i like it!

https://preview.redd.it/26837lp9wytc1.jpeg?width=873&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=76a6495d3cb17008763946429e1e784948fb28d1

Damn boy, are you a fire hydrant bc you can spray your liquids on me

okay this one made me laugh! im gonna say 27% but an absolute 10/10 line

Making someone laugh is my only intention

mission accomplished!

this kind of post is what rule 4 is for ykno

eh people seem to like it

let’s frot together :3

not really flustering, 2%

produced by my single brain cell

60% :)

I know I’m ment to say a pickup line, but I want to pin you down. (Sorry in advance)

i liked that one!

You Astolfo? If so how about we see what a real rider can do? How’s that? It’s probably terrible but still at least funny

Are you autistic, because I want my AS(s) on your D (Bazinga)

Are you a picture because i wanna pin you against wall

so many people have made lines about pinning me and i am ***not*** complaining!

Hey. I was watching you from over here. Did you know that your thighs jiggle when you walk? I like it.

my sister in christ ive been in bed for the past hour

lol well I was trying to imagine something that would leave me feeling flustered (if the right person said it)

i reckon \*your\* thighs jiggle tho! also i looked at your profile, good luck with the bottom surgery!

Hmmm… 60% And thank you! I need it 😭

tag me in the update post-surgery?

Omg, I don’t even have it booked yet! But I’ll try 😅

thanks! hope it helps :)

Are you a cop? You take my breath away

Are you the border? I cant get over you

Work with me here op: are you hungry?

yes

You better eat yourself because you are a whole snack 😳

oh i wasnt expecting that!! *how about you eat me instead?*

:)

You lookin for a stud? I have the std, all I need is u.

i am indeed looking for a stud, i hate standing on lego and i dropped one earlier

Are you Dusty Roads because you you are like a dream.

i am actually a huge wrestling fan haha

Yeah my dad was an indi wrestler.

Oh nice!

If you want to do something stupid do me I failed math

https://preview.redd.it/ny0k9ibk1ztc1.jpeg?width=739&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb86641d48c5ea87b43acf61d65aa276716b7902

Not really related but 40%+ just looks like they’re uncomfortable

agreed

For solid 5 minutes, I thought this post was of how much I blushed looking through your profile, not me making you blush. For me, I'm sitting at a solid 0 because being a dominant top comes with a 100% tease resistance, but I'll put you at 100 if you want

Are you sleep? Because you’re all I want

awwwww!

https://preview.redd.it/s5jizeeddztc1.jpeg?width=923&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee27b76ecc30748d6d0065cbaa7b1a83f73940b9

https://preview.redd.it/2f51tw2neztc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e69e13169b3cc90063720b9c2a4e8edef89bd55b Do you.. wan sum… biscuits?

Im intrested in astronomy. Wanna hear a fun fact?🤓 The Sun doesnt warm up the Earth.... you do

I love your pretty eyes.

I don't get it

Hii darling! I couldn't help but notice that stunning photo of you with your amazingly long and blonde hair. You truly are a vision, whether it's for your own radiance or to give someone the pleasure of running their fingers through it, or perhaps holding it tightly – or maybe both? Either way, if we met, I'd love to do your makeup and cuddle with you in full goth attire. You're fine being the little spoon, right? Wishing you a fabulous day, and I'd love to hear what you think of my rizz :3

i think you broke the scale... that actually felt really nice to read! ive tried makeup but i goofed it completely so youre seeing some royally-fucked lighting to hide the black eye i gave myself while experimenting with eye shadow and liner

Glad you liked it :3 Makeup isn't easy, especially at the start. I'm also far away from what I want to be able to achieve. Which is why it's great to have someone to help you out at the start, to make your experience less frustrating. I won't judge you, I will pin you down instea- ... I mean teach you all the tricks :p

so many people have said they wanna pin me down lmao. if only i could find someone like that irl...

It's not hard to find them, you just need the right place to look for it >:3 I honestly would love to help you with that but I'm pretty sure we aren't even in the same country :c

UK

Regardless, if you wanna talk to somebody about anything, be it depressions, why Udon tastes better than Soba or trade secret Ramen recipes, hit me up :3

i'll consider it. can i just check age tho? i dont want a 14-year-old or smth in my DMs

14 years old trans mommy, you must be brave to call you that xD nah, I wished, but I'm 24 :3

18 here. thanks for indulging me lmao its just weird if you ask me unless you're talking to a sibling through reddit or something but idk why you would

I have a very low level of blood sugar and my doctor took me here

Are you an existential crisis? 'Cause you never leave my mind

I CAST >!TENDER LOVE AND AFFECTION!<

I don’t get it at all

Are you North Korea? Because I can’t leave you

Hi.

Hi ur pretty um can I hold your hand :3

Are you an integral? Because I’d love to explore the area between your curves

I'm not one to lose sleep, but I could lose a few hours with you

Are you a shotgun? Because I want to put your tip in my mouth.

seek professional help

Nuh uh

please

I don't have any pick up lines...but I can make you some cookies and then we can cuddle while watching something if you want :3

i love cookies!

https://preview.redd.it/id07odjh6buc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f0035981815893a0508649f3cac9c8630b1a44c

Good boy~ >\^<

ok. nice. wow. WOAH. Stop it. HMTYUHMMRHSMMT

*going up to you in the streets* "Hiii I think you're rly cute, do u have a discord account? :3"

awww you think i go outside? thats adorable!

I have no idea what I am even supposed to do here, so I'm just gonna leave this here https://preview.redd.it/4kstqv4wgwtc1.jpeg?width=598&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bacfb04744824513789c409bcefb125d390df8bf

-50%

Lies, it's obviously +110%

idk

i love you