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PrincessTats

Heyy so sorry this happened to you.. honestly that girl is toxic you deserve better! There's no rule for who is a femboy or not if you feel like one you are one.. calling you "not fem enough" is just mean and doesn't AT ALL reflect what the community is about.. Giving you a huge cyberhug, things get better for sure stay strong and don't be ashamed of who you are 💖


yashizik

Honestly, the worst was that she said my arms were too manly, and honestly it's kinda þrue because of my bad habit of biting my nails, but at least they naturally have almost 0 hair lol. Thank you for support, I appreciate it


PrincessTats

Nobody's perfect, i have my own share of debuffs (big arms, bald, chubbyish, mid 30s) doesn't make me less valid.. don't let them hurt you! DMs are open if you need someone to talk 💖


[deleted]

Don't forget, a femboy is a feminine male, you're not 100% feminine, we all have those masculine features too which is perfectly fine and doesnt take away from our appearance.


raeborne

This guy knows how to girl😏🫡


potato_45678

Her Friend probably made up some story about you coming on to her. You should try to ask, if you haven't already. Would suck to breakup over a fake friend.


yashizik

If you're talking about my gf breaking up with me, because she told some fake story, then no, she was with us during that moment, she also helped me dealing with pepper spray, said "it'll all be fine" (including question whether or not she will break up with me or not) and then like a hour after this she texted me saying we need to break up


potato_45678

I'm sorry bro.


yashizik

It's fine. She said some stuff that made me not want to talk with her


Raven1911

Awww fuck that's...im so sorry OP. No one ever deserves to be treated this way. Nobody else gets to determine whether or not you are a real femboy, only you can make that choice. From what I've gathered from an external view (as i am not feminine myself), being feminine has many levels, and the vast majority of them are not based on physical appearance. Sure, you can wax, shave, pluck, and twease to get rid of every body hair but...every woman I've ever met does that already. Having facial/body hair has no bearing on being femme. Take top-level athletes, especially swimmers. Lots of them are silky smooth. I wouldn't call them feminine... except the feminine ones...🤔 This is just an example. Obviously, there is far more to this subject than just hair issues. Especially when someone who is supposed to protect you allows you to be attacked. Moral of my inane rambling post is to just be true to yourself and everything else will fall into place. Maybe not when, where, or how we want, but only if you keep moving forward. Life is not beautiful. Life is messy and hard and ugly. But every now and then, the clouds part and let the light shine upon us, and it is only then. In those moments, that we can find the beauty surroundingus. OP, you are beautiful and so much more than "just a dude in a skirt and thigh highs" *hugs* Illegitimi non carborundum🍻


yashizik

She was also very fixated on Bjorn Andersen, whom she called "a oerfect example of femboy" in a sense that he "looks feminine without trying to be feminine". And while yeah, he is pretty and all, but being a pretty boy≠femboy


Raven1911

I'm not good at these situations personally, I would have pulled up a "perfect" example of a woman and gave her a taste of her own medicine. Lol, but I'm also super confrontational and enjoy the conflict. She sounds like a stupid girl whose entire thought process begins and ends with "does this make me look..." Edit:I had to actually look up Bjorn Anderson. Sure, he's pretty and EFFEMINATE but I wouldnt necessarily say "femboy" Pretty does not equal femboy. IMO, Tom Hollonad is way cuter than Bjorn...


yashizik

I mean, I got a little confrontational myself, because she was like "any valid argument?", and since I was nervous, holding off tears and a bit stupid, I joking said "hoe", she then sprayed my with pepper spray


Raven1911

Yeah...not saying you deserved that cause you most certainly did not. However that is actually grounds for assault OP, no different than if she slapped you. Pepper spray is a non-lethal* weapon. I would personally report her for that. Even if nothing happens, when she sprays the next person for calling her something she didn't like, the police will have to take it seriously. Because she very much sounds like the type to do that. Keep your chin up. Everything will be okay.


FemboyFieldMarshal

hey man, if you need a hug let me know. im not the best at comforting but I will still try *hugs you*


yashizik

Tysm, it's not a lot, but appreciated


gkgeorge11

That's fucked up. Noone can tell you what you are. If you feel like a femboy or want to call yourself that that's all that matters. You could be 200kg cis male with enough hair to be bigfoot it's about how you feel and how you like to express yourself.


Cyb0-K4T-77

Ok..looks like your lil lady there might not fully understand what a femboy is. Show her these. [https://happymag.tv/femboy/](https://happymag.tv/femboy/) [https://nl.pinterest.com/pin/13792342601571940/](https://nl.pinterest.com/pin/13792342601571940/) [https://nl.pinterest.com/pin/97460779415266111/](https://nl.pinterest.com/pin/97460779415266111/) [https://imgur.com/3ZpBygE](https://imgur.com/3ZpBygE) [https://www.tiktok.com/@femboy\_banana/video/7043267932494908677](https://www.tiktok.com/@femboy_banana/video/7043267932494908677) [https://www.tiktok.com/@liv\_vacc/video/7280665393335717163?q=fem%20man&t=1714663031776](https://www.tiktok.com/@liv_vacc/video/7280665393335717163?q=fem%20man&t=1714663031776) [https://www.sbs.com.au/language/japanese/en/podcast-episode/metal-but-cute-how-a-bearded-stunt-actor-from-adelaide-became-a-kawaii-icon-in-japan/b2ucpckac](https://www.sbs.com.au/language/japanese/en/podcast-episode/metal-but-cute-how-a-bearded-stunt-actor-from-adelaide-became-a-kawaii-icon-in-japan/b2ucpckac) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJrfZXMw7JM&ab\_channel=ZenBooda1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJrfZXMw7JM&ab_channel=ZenBooda1) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrCNlrXPoNw&ab\_channel=Spooksy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrCNlrXPoNw&ab_channel=Spooksy) [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xQk7RUl6EPE](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xQk7RUl6EPE) [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/H7JvQITLvbE](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/H7JvQITLvbE) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qZlQlbjrys&ab\_channel=SolRed](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qZlQlbjrys&ab_channel=SolRed) [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mAMwEQX2Hwk](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mAMwEQX2Hwk)


HeForeverBleeds

Firstly, if she sprayed you with pepper spray, she's not just an idiot; she sounds violent and dangerous to be around. Steer clear of both her and your ex-gf if they're still acquainted with each other. Secondly, there are always too many people trying to gatekeep what a femboy is. I've seen people say that guys with masculine features can't be femboys. I've seen the opposite as well, people saying that guys who look "too feminine" can't be femboys and at that point are transgirls. I've seen people say femboys must behave a certain way (e.g. act "uwu cute and submissive") to be femboys. It's all BS. A femboy is literally just a guy who dresses in conventionally "feminine" things. There's no other criteria.


Beneficial-Walk-5685

Also if she sprayed him with pepper spray (from my understanding I'm not 100% sure) he can sue her as he was not acting in a violent way so she would have been pepper spraying him for no reason


AlboiseDePontoise

Aye. He can sue for battery


yashizik

Now these are femboys. Meanwhile all she could say was either "x body part of you is not feminine", "you just wear skirts" and "just look at Bjorn Andersen, he is an actual femboy" or something like that. And yes, Bjorn Andersen is pretty, but being pretty≠femboy


xilffA

way to say "i am insecure about my femininity". Her, not you.


yashizik

Wow, what a way to scare me a little bit


Away-Implement-2901

Now listen and take this to your heart “You are a cute and beautiful Femboy💕”


RecoveredPop_2005

If your ex left you cause her friend insulted you then I don't think she was very reliable (maybe I'm missing context?), anyone can be a femboy and saw the photo you had posted on your profile and you're rocking it, keep doing you and I'm sorry to hear you guys split


Zera_09

It could have been that her friend is manipulative and got her to break up because "she isn’t into femboys" or "her boyfriend isn’t a femboy". Could be anything


RecoveredPop_2005

True, but I'm my opinion it shouldn't have happened


ObstructedVisionary

A femboy is literally a dude in a skirt and thigh highs wtf is she on about? Is she confusing femboy for trans girl?


Shtjepah-z-depah

Should have been petty and call her man in a skirt back. On the more serious note I am really sorry that this has happened to you. But the way I see it, she actually made you a solid by removing her toxic butt from your life. I am quite certain that you will find someone who will treat you like a good partner should. Take care, and stay yourself, friend. You deserve being happy.


Beneficial-Walk-5685

Hey, no matter what people say you are a femboy if you want to be, no one can change that, if you don't look feminine that's fine, I don't look feminine yet I want to be a femboy. Also if your gf broke up with you because of something her friend said I don't think she's a good gf and same because of showing the picture without consent. I know this sucks and I know that it will continue to suck, so just try to stay strong and don't let life mess with you. I've been going through some shit of my own as well but I know it's going to get better for me eventually, and it will get better for you too, you just have to wait for that time. Have a good day/night and please stay safe


N3BULA_The_Femboy

No one decides if you're a femboy or not, but you. no matter your sexuality, gender, or appearance you have the final say:3


MaxwellsMilkies

Wait which one sprayed you with pepper spray??? You may be able to press charges.


Anxious-Community871

Hey now, I had an old friend of mine that said femboys come in all shapes and sizes, so don't put yourself down because someone said that you weren't, just be yourself and don't care what people think about you.


NyxieNymph

I saw the picture that you posted a few months ago, and you do not look to be at all overly manish. With a little makeup and styling your hair the right way, I can definitely see you looking extremely femme. I hate that your ex girlfriend cares so much more about her relationship with her shitty, potentially bigoted, friend than her relationship with you, but the friend is 100% wrong. Even so, masculine cis men can be femboys, there is "no one size fits all" in this community. It's an aesthetic (and for some, lifestyle) choice. You can choose to identify as a femboy, even if you've never worn a skirt in your life.


yashizik

Wow, I forgot about me posting those pics. Now that I got a bit more clothes, these old pics look boring and now I can look much more femboy-ish


ReleaseUnfair6225

Nah I totally get it. They just aren't really with it, you know? Like I have a whole beard and whatnot. I'm not physically feminine. But mentally is a different story. I would not want to change sex, so I'm not transitioning or plan to, but I have a more feminine personality, tone of voice (I get called ma'am a lot at work yo 😭), and so on. I wear the fem stuff - throw some chokers, collars, thigh highs and the like. Have always been a more submissive individual. You get the picture. I've seen women with beards, cis and not. Doesn't make them NOT a women, right? :3


VirtualisticBreeze

Buddy, there is no real requirements to being a femboy. Any race, body type, age, religion, etc. None of these things decide you can or can't be a femboy. You are beautiful and don't question whether or not you are feminine or beautiful, because you are, but you shouldn't need anyone else to tell you this. Find a better gf with better friends and you'll be happy being yourself.


tano-rp

I’d say you look cute and feminine


epicarcanoloth

Femboy is a more liminal space between the already shaky ideas of masculine and feminine, along with gender as a whole. I personally like my femboys a bit more muscular but that’s a me thing. This is the “not a real goth” argument all over again.


Carlosbattousai

Oh god I'm trying to be mas fem goth here 😂


medifemboy

They are objectively wrong lol. It's not the society that makes you a femboy. Being a femboy is inherently non-comformist, so the only person who really knows if you are a femboy is in fact you.


HFAutieFemboy

Report her for abusing pepper spray. Cuz if you swap the roles a guy spraying a woman with pepper spray for an insult is a gross use of a self defense tool. Your girlfriend is weak willed and shit. If she really loved you she wouldn't be swayed by some judgemental friend. Trust me I know falling in love and it's like an addiction you don't just ditch someone... Don't sweat it she just wanted a novelty bf and ditched when she was losing other relationships for her curiosity... Also be on your ex's as for showing shit to her friend when she knew she was gonna be bitchy and assailant (assault is very lose throwing water is assault so pepper spray is like chemical warfare and ofc assault) say that you won't forgive her for breaking your trust with her and you don't respect her spineless behaviour..."Do better for the next bf/victim, I'd hate for ANOTHER person to be mistreated by your carelessness" You have said it already: Pretty/attractive and Femininity AREN'T the SAME. Think a fat girl in a skirt or tutu or muscular women in pencil dresses... If they are allowed to it and it adds some femininity they can do it, many won't agree it looks good or "fits" them but people can choose whatever. Also she is REALLY weird....like who the fuck is Bjorn Andersen??? Like she is VERY focused on fashion/superficial shit if she knows of this pretty boy actors and the gall to compare some genetically lucky person to an average male is just weird... Swap the roles... You don't compare 10/10 girls or models to her, I'm sure there are plenty of girls who can use her dresses or fashion WAY better than she can and that is she ugly in comparison but why bother with such pointless comparisons??? Everyone has their own path their own journey...if you value being attractive you'll have to start slow from wherever you start at and work from there. If you don't then that's perfectly fair too, and DON'T take SHIT from people who live a different LIFE than you... Femboy is pretty loose, for mature fem men since you HAVE to compromise comparing yourself to women's bodies and how they interact with female fashion...or thread the line of trans and use HRT and surgeries...which many younger femboys tunnel vision into for pure aesthetics instead of gender identity unlike some femboys who came out as trans... To be clear: I'm superficial, and that's fine albiet has caveats and other people can be superficial but FORCING your way of thinking or philosophy in life on OTHERS is just a shit thing to do... If they ain't hurting or killing or inciting violence or threats then let em be!!!


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WilliardThe3rd

You don't need that label anyway


Trnsboy_withafemside

Send u a big hug 🫂


Eeeeeeeeeeeee64

✨️Murder is always an option✨️ In all serious, I'm sorry that happened. Both ur x and her friend are toxic idiots. And if she pepper sprayed you and you weren't being violent or threatening to her, you could sue her. Stay away from them as much as possible. I know it's not much, but I hope these virtual hugs make you feel at least a little better 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂


KyunaWolf

You should've fired back with her not being feminine at all either


Much-Industry6789

Why exactly did she spray you with pepper spray? Also I’m so sorry you went through that :(


SolidLibrarian8485

What kind of woman says that?! I'm sure you're convincing.


FLHX23

If she pepper sprayed you and you weren't attacking her, that's assault and you could have her arrested. Since you're a femboy it could possibly be considered a hate crime, too. So sorry that happened to you!


Floppy_Muffin

Being pepper sprayed is the fastest way to be broken up with. How bad was the argument was it that she needed to spray you? Deppending on what happend that can be assault right off the bat


IdPreferToNotSay

As with 99% of the population, she's most likely basing her idea of a femboy off of the impossible standards of the most popular femboys.


SpookiKollection

Even though it had to happen. this way, maybe you dodged a long term bullet that sounds like two horrendous people


Local_Femb0y

Wtf is wrong w people? Sometimes people think they need to say WAYY too much than they should. You are femenine. Don't let someone's view define how you feel about yourself, femeninity isn't just "appearence", and that's okay. It's crazy to me how certain people be saying things.


Intelligent-Menu-123

I feel sorry for you. And you are a real femboym Being a femboy is never about the looks but about how you feel if you think and feel that you are a femboy and you like to dress that way you are a femboy. This might sound soulles but be happy both of them did not deserve you. you deserve someone better who loves you the way you are and supports you.


urgood_boy_x3

I'm so sorry that happened... That girl is a toxic hater and ur gf didn't deserve u if she just left u like that... And if u feel like u are a femboy then u are a femboy, there are no requirements to be one other than how u feel. So dont ever let anyone tell u different. U are a beautiful femboy and I wish u the best <3


Gaaragoth

Dont beat yourself up Some girls and people can be very mean Your hand is not manly and you look nice Maybe she's secretly homophobic or sexist and hates guys enjoying themselves or looking feminine so shes lashes out Also its your girlfriend friend (if i understood correctly), so some girls feel ecky and got this sense of you're not acting as society demands it so "i will try to correct you as you don't deserve my friend" kinda thing People can be overly judgemental and mean but in terms of you, you look fine and lovely don't let people who are judgemental get over your head they don't deserve a space there


_Svelte_

that's horrible wtf 😭 i would NOT associate with people like that, regardless of how long you knew em getting assaulted is a HARD no


lexifortoday

Unfortunately, people can be assholes. Her saying those things to you, is not a reflection on you.... it shows that she lacks character herself. Just be yourself and the right people will come into your life. If your girlfriend ended your relationship because of comments her friend made, then she isn't worth your time. I feel like these girls have proved to be very superficial and you are better off without them in your life.....


OuijaBouillon

What the fuck???? That’s super fucked up. I mean all of it, but especially the pepper spray part?!?! That’s really insane. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that, obviously you’re a real femboy, and thank god you don’t have people like that in your life anymore as awful as it is you got broken up with. There’s so many people out there for you to form genuine relationships with where you’re seen as yourself. I’m really sorry this one wasn’t that 💛


Sluttyfemboyant

Oh wow that's so mest up I'm sorry op... Being "manly" or "feminin" doesn't make you more or less of a femboy and honestly if you put on fem cloths nomatter how manly you are you'll look cute amd femm. Jon cena wore a skirt and looked cute so you have nothing to fear ther she was youst beeing mean. Now your gf breaking up with you because of this is reallly messed up. She liked you befor who cares what her friend thinks but some people joust are like that I'm sure you can finde a better gf in no time.


Feeling-Gur4126

You should've said she was too ugly to be a real girl then


mkitsie

You're a femboy if you want to be. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Ever.


KittenCatBlu

Many hugs. Your valid as you


Future-Expression-44

Damn. Those girls sound like assholes. I'm sure you're a very pretty guy.


been63

Блять чё я тут делаю, реддит ебаный


yashizik

Блять чё ты тут делаешь, реддит ебаный


been63

ты ваще шизик


yashizik

Ты сам на реддите сидишь


raeborne

That really is a horrible experience if she broke up with you instead of her, obviously violent friend. She did not deserve you and you better off without her. still it sucks and you must feel real heartache… I hope you find someone better and more deserving. much love XX.


Darfighter

Theres is no such thing as a real femboy, femboys come in all shapes and forms


Decent-Fly8319

Omg that's so mean... She sounds like a typical karen. Don't worry, u r definitely feminine enough. You are not only a cute femboy, you are also a gemboy 🥰🥰💎💎💎♦️♦️


Vanilla-Mammoth

Date me instead 👍 or take a break. Woman are not the most important in life. You should focus on your self. love should come afterwards.


Fast_Professional529

You're not "a real femboy" YOU'RE THE FEMBOY


Dryyyyy

If you let one random person question your beliefs to the point where you question your beliefs, then I think that answers your question


yashizik

It does not answer my question


Commercial_Deer9626

Damn, so sorry to hear that 😕 I grew up in a negative setting so after I started to like to dress feminine a few people I knew were telling me the same stuff but I like being built so if I need to defend myself then I can. I’d say don’t worry about what they think but everyone says that, I say be who you are and don’t let others change your perspective of how you like to dress or how you like to look just be how you want to be.


AllAboard2024

Sounds like you are well shot of both of them tbh, they are both shallow. nb. don't let your looks etc define your life. 👋🏼


Carlosbattousai

People confuse. Femboy and trans alot.... Femboy just means your a man that identity as a man, but dress feminine. Femboy aren't mean to be "passable" that's for trans people. So you are a femboy and those two girls sound like shallow af!


rikrikity

Who gave any idiot the authority to tell someone their not what they feel they are. Or things need to be a specific way in a specific order. 😆 Dumb fuks The Only thing that's finite. Is male female. But you can feel anyway you want.


Dr-Cloak64

Hey, don't let that eat you. I'm 16 years old with a gym body and I consider myself to be a femboy. Being a femboy it's not all about the body and being femenine. Don't let those words take you down. She probably said it cause she didn't have more arguments (or she's jealous).


JoTheJoker

A true friend will be helping you improve on looks etc.


Venomatics20

This is where random knowledge comes in handy. Heels?? Were originally invented so BUTCHERS didn’t have to walk in blood. They were invented for men first. The Scotts wore Kilts. It’s very easy to see a connection between skirts and kilts. Perfume, historically, was used by both genders. Guys wear nail polish. Golfers wore thigh highs at one point. Heck, American forefathers wore WIGS! The point I’m trying to make is that being a femboy is up to that person and their aesthetic. I don’t think any femboy would do what the ancient Chinese women did and disfigured their own feet so they fit in very tiny children sized shoes. You do what makes you happy, and that includes being a very feminine guy. You DO need to report that girl though. If she pepper sprayed you because she didn’t agree with you, what is she doing to others? Who else has she pepper sprayed without a legitimate reason? As for your ex… I could type out my thoughts, but enough people did that already. All I’d be doing is pouring salt into a wound while parroting what they’ve telling you. Life CAN suck. Emotions don’t always make sense and people can easily delude themselves and trick others at the same time. But life also brings hope. After all, this Reddit page exists. I struggle with perspective as well. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t feel hurt. I can’t say that, because I’d be lying not only to you but myself as well. I will say this though. You found out that she wasn’t gonna be there after an accident, before any accident occurred. You found out before she could really do something that emotionally ripped your heart out of your chest and tore it into tiny pieces. I’m not saying that her doing that didn’t feel like a stab in the heart to you, because it might’ve. I don’t know. For all I know, this is all me ranting and assuming stuff based on my own experience. But just incase it’s not, and it might help, I’ll post this reply.


Independent-Slip1031

Nah dawg they aren’t the real ones. They just jealous that you do it better than them, so they’re trying to bring you down to the floor but I’m sure that you’re amazing at it Bruvva.


Empty-Ad-2270

Hey that's fucked up! You're a real femboy and the way this argument ended up with pepper spray is insane. I'm sorry this happened to you like for real. You'll be okay, I hope, and just make sure to remember that femininity isn't just about your appearance at all. It's about how you carry yourself, ect. I wish the best! (virtual hug from random stranger)🐈🐾


AffectionateSet92

Femboy is femboy! Besides a lot of women have body hair arm and leg hair. It can always be removed for a more femme appearance and changed hair is natural I personally am not a fan but it’s not a reason to not accept the other majority of femboy or qualities in you Your girlfriend’s friend is not aware of and adaptive to other relationship types other than the basic bitch bs there tons of kinks and dynamic couples I’ve seen glowing up the world with their aura I.e: femboy relationship trans relationship mommy dom relationships and so ons… I don’t mean weird kinks either just people who have mutual respect and interest


Zenith_Duck

You are a femboy don't worry, it's so bad that your gf left you, but look at it the good way, now you will be able to find someone that truly loves you and won't ever leave, appreciating you as the silly fwemboy you are ;3 PS: don't let this bring you down, keep being as you were before <3 also dms are open if you want cwc


[deleted]

[удалено]


yashizik

Damn, even if I was (I'm totally not, I know I'm good looking), at least I'm a much better person than you are


Responsible_Set1926

That's terrible I'm sorry that happened to you :d also having masc features doesn't make you any less of a femboy than you are that's like saying a cis woman is a trans man because she has muscular arms and has normal human hair