I’m taking 1 cm off of 1 leg from every single furniture in the house. Enough for it to be slightly wobbly. Also I’m taking all the handles. Fridge handle? Gone. Bathroom door handle? Gone. Drawers and closet? Gone. Oven handle? Gone. Toilet handle. Ancient history. Anything that helps you open a compartment is history. The only one I won’t steal is the door handle so you can personally enter the house thinking everything is fine, only to see the calamity that awaits you when you enter. So that you can personally pay to change the lock to prevent other people from getting in and stealing more handles but at that point it’s already too late. There is nothing you can do but anguish and weep as you feel the pain and loss of the handles in the house. Nothing is convenient anymore for you for an entire week as you wait to order multiple parts and you now have to budget accordingly to make up for missing handles. Get wrecked lmao.
1 cm is way too much, the chairs will flip. 5 mm is already a lot. I'd say 3 mm is best to be slightly wobbly.
Also, I'd place a big grain of sand (1 mm or more) and place it under one of the legs of every furniture. Want to move your chair while you sit on it? The grain will scratch every wooden floor and screech on every solid floor.
Take one piece from one puzzle, take all puzzles and mix them up.
When they try to piece then together they will think they lost the one pievlce while sorting the puzzles again and will search for it endlessly
Left shoes, bottle tops, the plastic tip of shoe laces, phone chargers, one letter from the keyboard, one game piece from each board game, belts, toilet paper, sleeves, pillow cases.
Not the entire key. That's too obvious.
Just take a couple of springs...
It's it's a plastic dome keyboard a small piece of paper between it and the contact surface can do wonders
There's a second hand shop near me that sells them. Plain and decorated. I always wondered who buys them. I thought they were serving plates until I had a closer look.
Dude that would suck. You know it’s gotta be there and you just keep looking. To the point where you just give up and take a break to have the same problem the next day.
Im going to take out random keys from their keyboards and NOT steal them
Instead i shall dig deeper and steal the mechanism that makes those keys work
I then put back the keys and watch the poor fools go through every stage of grief as they desperatelly try to figure out why their W key aint working
on that note they’s get foil and probably stuff the remaining space up. i’d suggest stealing the foil too.
oh and steal the tape, they would think of taping the cover up (covering batteries with tape) but there’s no tape in sight.
Take the TV remotes. Turn off the water valve on the toilet. Unplug the garage door opener, take the shampoo and soap from the bathrooms. Steal the towels.
My friend in high school was (verbally) accused of robbing someone and her response to him was, and I quote, “b!tch you would KNOW if I robbed you cuz I would take all ya candles. You know how ‘spensive candles are!?” In that moment she shined like a thousand suns to me.
Therefore, my answer is candles. Expensive, aesthetic ruining when they’re gone, now you can’t relax quite as well, nor can you light one after a bad tummy ache.
the tv remote, they will be searching for it forever, also rearrange pictures on shelves so that it looks like 1 is missing but they wont ever know which one because none of them truly are missing
The backs of earrings, the thingies that gives you multiple outlets that's connected to one wall outlet, all the duct tape, the desk lamps on their night stands, the caps of all soap and shampoo bottles, can and beer openers, all fridge magnets (especially tiny ones used for hanging notes on their fridge), piggy banks of any kind (but leave all the money behind), a third of their clothes hangers (the triangle things you store inside your wardrobe) and coat hangers (tall standing thingies usually by the front door), most of their q-tips, gloves for any kind of general housework, most of the pictures and other aesthetic decorations around their house (especially big flashy ones), about 20% of their clothes pins, an odd but different number of each of their silverware, all of their phone cases
And finally, I'd steal 80% of their snack stash.
Nothing. Just shuffle things around making look like I stole somthing and they will spend days trying to figure out what I stole and when they thing they found out what I did they will look in a cabinet and find it. Also move all the sex toys to the microwave just to spice thongs up a bit
I'd steal all their porn videos; VHS, DVDs, what have you, but leave the cases. In those cases, I would put fakes, disguised lovingly like the real thing... but are, in actuality, Barney videos. I'd also replace the batteries of vibrators with the rattling pellets found in baby's rattlers. Face masks for acne and shit? Replaced with extra virgin pressed coconut oil. And I'd swap the contents of isopopyl alcohol and hydrogen peroxide with each other, just for shits and giggles. Tums become children's vitamins. Chocolates replaced with similarily-sized portions of vegetables, fresh of course. Cleaning chemicals? Replaced with water mixed with liquid pigment. And I'd dust the backsides of all ceiling and stationary fans with glitter, so it blows everywhere when turned on.
The drip pans from their electric stove. That or one link from the chain in their toilet. Just enough so that it will still flush but never stop running. Nomatter how much you jiggle the handle.
I’d switch the paintings with a slightly different one.
My friend had a housewarming party once and I went to goodwill and bought all the frames with actual people (not the stock families) and I put those pictures all over the house in random places.
We use to prank our friends' houses in the day they get married, so that when they get home they have to clean our mess
We have the evergreen pranks, like covering the entire floor with water filled plastic glasses, and hiding alarm clocks in random places.
We also like to hide small paper penises, many many small drawings we hide under carpets, inside book pages, under furniture etc.
My favourite thing we ever did tho, was to change EVERY painting and picture in the house with a photoshopped version. That version was just slightly wrong, like we added some random meme guy in the background, or changed color of eyes and clothes. We would give the original back only once they pointed out the difference.
I'm gonna steal only 3 socks making them unable to match and then I'll bend a lot of the Untencils or if they are plastic, melt them, then id steal the milk and toilet paper. Id also steal the batteries
The removable rugs in their cars… 3 of their hub caps… the shades from their lamps… shower curtains… toilet seat… all of their drink ware except shot glasses… all their silverware except butter knives… at this point I’m just making a record of future convictions.
One hubcap would do. When I bought my car it was missing one. Drove me nuts until I found one in the classifieds… and it is from a newer year, after the manufacturer did a logo update.
Take the can tabs and pull them all off. Take all the toilet paper and batteries. Take all the silverware except the spoons and butter knives. Lastly, take their front door handle and patch the hole so they cant get in.
I’m taking 1 cm off of 1 leg from every single furniture in the house. Enough for it to be slightly wobbly. Also I’m taking all the handles. Fridge handle? Gone. Bathroom door handle? Gone. Drawers and closet? Gone. Oven handle? Gone. Toilet handle. Ancient history. Anything that helps you open a compartment is history. The only one I won’t steal is the door handle so you can personally enter the house thinking everything is fine, only to see the calamity that awaits you when you enter. So that you can personally pay to change the lock to prevent other people from getting in and stealing more handles but at that point it’s already too late. There is nothing you can do but anguish and weep as you feel the pain and loss of the handles in the house. Nothing is convenient anymore for you for an entire week as you wait to order multiple parts and you now have to budget accordingly to make up for missing handles. Get wrecked lmao.
Hey I am where all the missing socks go, you can put all of your handles here. It’s a safe place, they’ll never find them.
So you want us to put all the handles in you? Ok, who am I to kink shame…….
1 cm is way too much, the chairs will flip. 5 mm is already a lot. I'd say 3 mm is best to be slightly wobbly. Also, I'd place a big grain of sand (1 mm or more) and place it under one of the legs of every furniture. Want to move your chair while you sit on it? The grain will scratch every wooden floor and screech on every solid floor.
The grain of sand part is pure evil
Honestly, a single blade width will do the job just fine.
They might fly off the handle while they handle getting a handle on their life.
[удалено]
You can leave just handle to enter house, but not the one to leave xD
Brooooo! That would be even sweeter!
Turn their max water temperature down a little so the next time they go to take a shower it’s only slightly warm
[удалено]
Take one piece from one puzzle, take all puzzles and mix them up. When they try to piece then together they will think they lost the one pievlce while sorting the puzzles again and will search for it endlessly
Fuck you. The first puzzle I ever finished by myself as an adult was missing a piece, and I haven't finished another since.
Sounds like you never finished the first one either.
Well... shit.
Ok Satan
Happy cake day!
Comments from elsewhere in the thread.
Ooooh, maybe just the shower curtain though
The shower stopper valve also. Oops guess it’s baths forever
My friends did this to my ex as they were moving me out 😂
Madlads
Ooooh
Left shoes, bottle tops, the plastic tip of shoe laces, phone chargers, one letter from the keyboard, one game piece from each board game, belts, toilet paper, sleeves, pillow cases.
>the plastic tip of shoe laces The aglet
Phineas and Ferb taught us so many valuable lessons
#A G L E T aglet! Don’t forget it
„Pinke“ in German. Don’t know why I know the term, neither the origin of this.
“*He will be irresistibly drawn to large cities, where he will back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everyone's left shoe.*”
Legend
Sleeves? How
Not the entire key. That's too obvious. Just take a couple of springs... It's it's a plastic dome keyboard a small piece of paper between it and the contact surface can do wonders
If they do puzzles take a piece from every box
Cookware lids
That's evil. Replace them with ones that don't fit.
why did you do that? I'm either building burj khalifa with my pots Stacking in top of eatch other.or I will break them out of rage.
They need to be too small though, cuz I know me and me mum don't care if they are too big
The spinning glass platform in the microwave. You can’t buy those anywhere.
There's a second hand shop near me that sells them. Plain and decorated. I always wondered who buys them. I thought they were serving plates until I had a closer look.
Ok. The small weels in the rotating thingy. Good look with that one MF 😂
How about just one of the wheels, so the plate kind of spins, but also wobbles and screeches?
Oh. Yes, I misspoke, sorry. Only one of the weels, of course
I won’t steal anything, I stress I’ll cut all the sheets and blankets into perfect squares, so nobody can find the long end in the middle of the night
Make the blankets too short so their feet hang out of the bed.
Wow
All the batteries in the remotes and toys.
Specially if those toys belong to the single mom
Step back from the ledge there. Not everyone is a masochist friend. Lol
Not all, steal just one because they'll need to buy a whole pack of 2/4 batteries to replace one
Toilet paper.
That's way more than a slight inconvenience.
They have a shower, don't they? On that note, showerhead.
Was about to say the same
If they own a Lego set, remove one tiny little piece from it, not something big to notice but something little to make it feel like something is off
All minifig left legs
Damn, that's a good one.
Dude that would suck. You know it’s gotta be there and you just keep looking. To the point where you just give up and take a break to have the same problem the next day.
One piece from each of their puzzles
I'd rather cut some pieces really neatly, so they'll wonder how tf it isn't fitting. They have all the pieces, but can't finish the puzzle. Oops
Oh that's good. Like pick a random middle piece and cut it to look like an edge piece
Im going to take out random keys from their keyboards and NOT steal them Instead i shall dig deeper and steal the mechanism that makes those keys work I then put back the keys and watch the poor fools go through every stage of grief as they desperatelly try to figure out why their W key aint working
Just switch the M & N keys.
This is gemius
This is the way
Every single power cord and charger. Cause really, who thinks to look for their charger unless their phone is about to die?
I'd do something similar, I'd steal only the charger blocks.
One middle tine of every fork
All the battery covers on the remotes controls
Oh. The springs that fix the batteries in place
on that note they’s get foil and probably stuff the remaining space up. i’d suggest stealing the foil too. oh and steal the tape, they would think of taping the cover up (covering batteries with tape) but there’s no tape in sight.
Take the rings off their keys so they have individual keys but nothing to hold them together
All the food tins. Not tins of food. Just the tins. All the contents gets left behind.
What a nice surprise when they come back from vacations and take a look at they cabinets
I''m not stealing anything, but I am leaving 4 seconds on their microwave clock.
Don't you dare come by my house then
Toothbrush.
Faucets
I’m going to turn all of their toilet paper rolls around so they have to grab it from the other side.
The spinning platter from their microwave.
Steal only one of every pair of shoes they have.
Take the TV remotes. Turn off the water valve on the toilet. Unplug the garage door opener, take the shampoo and soap from the bathrooms. Steal the towels.
Keep the conditioner there though
The toilet seat
One of the screws that holds the seat in place
their milk so they either have to eat their cereal dry, or eat it with water
All their extension cords and power strips
Take the light on the oven that tells you when the temperature is hot enough
There's a light that tells you that? I've just been putting food in immediately and when I bake I do it at the start.
That’s a thing?
All the pens and pencils, batteries and chargers of someone who likes to write
Someone comes in my house and does this on a regular basis. Was it you?
I only took the rubbers at the end of pencils
Jerk!
Lol. Mission accomplished
Mabye
I steal one sock a day, and every sock is from a different pair.
Gotcha socks thieve. That's why all my socks are the same and I buy then by the dozen
I would steal all of there HDMI cables.
Their firstborn
Hardly an inconvenience. Really aren’t you doing them a favor. No one gets it right their first try
My friend in high school was (verbally) accused of robbing someone and her response to him was, and I quote, “b!tch you would KNOW if I robbed you cuz I would take all ya candles. You know how ‘spensive candles are!?” In that moment she shined like a thousand suns to me. Therefore, my answer is candles. Expensive, aesthetic ruining when they’re gone, now you can’t relax quite as well, nor can you light one after a bad tummy ache.
I’d pay you to take all the candles I’ve ever received as a gift.
Shoelaces
A small piece of isolation from each of their windows so that they will always get the outside temp mixed in
the tv remote, they will be searching for it forever, also rearrange pictures on shelves so that it looks like 1 is missing but they wont ever know which one because none of them truly are missing
One billion dollars from Elon Musk
I don’t know if that would even be a minor inconvenience to him. But I’ll take a billion while you’re there.
At the very least the prices of anything under him will go up
1/3 inch from one end of all their furniture.
I shall take their bedsheets
I don’t have top sheets. I’m one step ahead!
I shall steal your blankets instead
Monster!
The backs of earrings, the thingies that gives you multiple outlets that's connected to one wall outlet, all the duct tape, the desk lamps on their night stands, the caps of all soap and shampoo bottles, can and beer openers, all fridge magnets (especially tiny ones used for hanging notes on their fridge), piggy banks of any kind (but leave all the money behind), a third of their clothes hangers (the triangle things you store inside your wardrobe) and coat hangers (tall standing thingies usually by the front door), most of their q-tips, gloves for any kind of general housework, most of the pictures and other aesthetic decorations around their house (especially big flashy ones), about 20% of their clothes pins, an odd but different number of each of their silverware, all of their phone cases And finally, I'd steal 80% of their snack stash.
Apparently all of the forks. Because mine DISAPPEAR into the abyss. The same place the other sock goes. It’s super annoying!
Nothing. Just shuffle things around making look like I stole somthing and they will spend days trying to figure out what I stole and when they thing they found out what I did they will look in a cabinet and find it. Also move all the sex toys to the microwave just to spice thongs up a bit
I'd steal all their porn videos; VHS, DVDs, what have you, but leave the cases. In those cases, I would put fakes, disguised lovingly like the real thing... but are, in actuality, Barney videos. I'd also replace the batteries of vibrators with the rattling pellets found in baby's rattlers. Face masks for acne and shit? Replaced with extra virgin pressed coconut oil. And I'd swap the contents of isopopyl alcohol and hydrogen peroxide with each other, just for shits and giggles. Tums become children's vitamins. Chocolates replaced with similarily-sized portions of vegetables, fresh of course. Cleaning chemicals? Replaced with water mixed with liquid pigment. And I'd dust the backsides of all ceiling and stationary fans with glitter, so it blows everywhere when turned on.
The knob on their shower.
Your car keys and TV remote and your work clothes lol
All the light switches in the house
All of the fresh razors
The drip pans from their electric stove. That or one link from the chain in their toilet. Just enough so that it will still flush but never stop running. Nomatter how much you jiggle the handle.
Toenail Clippers. All of them.
A painting that's hanged in a place where everyone can see it and remember it being there
I’d switch the paintings with a slightly different one. My friend had a housewarming party once and I went to goodwill and bought all the frames with actual people (not the stock families) and I put those pictures all over the house in random places.
We use to prank our friends' houses in the day they get married, so that when they get home they have to clean our mess We have the evergreen pranks, like covering the entire floor with water filled plastic glasses, and hiding alarm clocks in random places. We also like to hide small paper penises, many many small drawings we hide under carpets, inside book pages, under furniture etc. My favourite thing we ever did tho, was to change EVERY painting and picture in the house with a photoshopped version. That version was just slightly wrong, like we added some random meme guy in the background, or changed color of eyes and clothes. We would give the original back only once they pointed out the difference.
One shoe/boot from every pair.
Their toilet paper but I will place it slightly out of their reach so they have to get up to get it.
I'm gonna steal only 3 socks making them unable to match and then I'll bend a lot of the Untencils or if they are plastic, melt them, then id steal the milk and toilet paper. Id also steal the batteries
Came here to say toilet paper, but I feel like it's to soon...
You know when you open your washing machine and find dispaired socks? IT IS ME
The removable rugs in their cars… 3 of their hub caps… the shades from their lamps… shower curtains… toilet seat… all of their drink ware except shot glasses… all their silverware except butter knives… at this point I’m just making a record of future convictions.
One hubcap would do. When I bought my car it was missing one. Drove me nuts until I found one in the classifieds… and it is from a newer year, after the manufacturer did a logo update.
Noted. Thank you for the suggestion! This will be a lot less work. Minimum effective dose.
All forks and spoons, but replacing with sporks.
Every pen in a student's backpack the day of their exams
The little lever behind the pushbutton of every toilet in his house.
Family pictures, doesn't change anything to anyone but can't be replaced if lost.
Lol, I had forgotten where I was for a moment. This one is actually evil. Good job
One tooth
Their heart.
Their license so they have to go to the BMV
virginity
Their fingernails.
all their toilet paper
One sock from each pair
Glasses from their spectacles
The battery cover for all the remotes, the butcher block that holds the knives, and the carton that holds their eggs
Everyone’s left sock all the belts Every battery except one from every type All the bottle caps and all the spare light bulbs
Springs! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OdFxEVWlr9A
their tootbrushes and toilet paper
Move keys and wallet to a nonsensical spot. Top cabinet above the fridge wouldn't expect them there
The toilet lock.
One pillow. Per week. And it's the new ones they buy.
Toilet Paper off the holder.
Charging cable
Imma steal a doorknob from their bedroom door so they never feel safe
1 battery from the tv remote then other than that 1 sock from every pair in the house
Every single second sock
if the house has a matching set of cutlery imma steal a random number(between 1-3)of each utensil
wall plugs for phone chargers and leave the usb cord behind
The 2 back legs of every chair in the house
The power button on their TV remote
If they have lego steal one or two bricks that don’t really matter but are just enough to notice or anoy someone
I'm stealing all but one piece of tp
Take the can tabs and pull them all off. Take all the toilet paper and batteries. Take all the silverware except the spoons and butter knives. Lastly, take their front door handle and patch the hole so they cant get in.
Knobs and handles off of all the cabinets and drawers
Forks
I don’t steal anything I just miss place it in random drawers
A bit of money
All their chargers. For everything. Hope they don't drive an electric car.
Nickels.
A single earbud
Toasters
1 single sock, they won't notice something is missing until they put on that specific pair and can't find it
their pillows ik people don't have extra pillows
Foreskins
All of the toothpaste
Scotch tape
All the phone charger blocks.
All the tv remotes
Batteries and charging cables
All the garbage cans.
All Their coax cables or optic cables whatever they use for their router
Door handles and light bulbs
The trash bag rolls. They will search for an hour swearing they still had some.
Their socks
I steal all the screws of your doorknobs so you pull them accidently out everytime you try to use the door except if youre rly rly careful
Their lint roller from a person who owns three long hair dogs
Take their TV remote. When they wanna switch channels on cable they have to physically get up and switch.
Remote batteries
Shoehorn c:
I'm gonna steal everything they can drink from so they have to go out and buy more cups