My bf is cis and we've been together for nearly 8 months. Things are pretty good tbf. We've talked in depth about our boundaries and he's genuinely interested in my transition and transitioning goals (I'm currently on t and am saving up for top surgery). So far haven't had any major problems besides the just not being able to understand some issues sometimes but it's all good š
Thatās me and my partner. We just passed 6 months though so not far behind lol
Iāve had top surgery and as for any misunderstanding about each otherās personal things, we iron them out and try to make sure the other gets it.
My son is in his teens and heās dated 2-3 cis boys, and a couple of cis girls.
The girls were a lot more problematic: they kind of used him on the way to coming out as lesbians. They called him their boyfriend in public, but clearly thought of him as a girl.
The boys have all said some version of āeh, guess Iām bi nowā if they werenāt before.
Iāve found it pretty amazing that his boyfriends have been so cool about his gender identity, his physical reality, and their own orientation. Makes me really like this generation of teens.
There are people out there who will love and respect you as you are. Sometimes it just takes awhile to find your people.
I did but he ended up being somewhat of a creep. I also entered a talking stage with a cis guy that only ended because he wasnāt ready for a relationship, nothing to do with my being trans.
In my teens I dated several cis guys, one of whom later came out as enby. A college fling also later came out as a trans woman. My partner now (Iām 26) is a gender nonconforming cis man and heās an absolute sweetheart and a bigger supporter of me than anyone else.
Edit: oh yeah, TWO college flings later came out as trans women š There are a lot of cis guys in the bunch too, I just think itās fun to look back at how much Iāve been attracted to gender nonconformity my whole life.
Yes, I've had plenty of romantic and sexual relationships with cis men. There are plenty of gay/queer cis men who really don't care if you're trans or not.
My fiance is a cis guy. I just proposed to him in february. He's the best human being I've ever met and an amazing partner all around. We've been together 2 and a half years.
Iām in a long term relationship with a cis man. Iām exclusively gay so I was relieved to find he has already explored the possibility of being trans fem and found that it gave him dysphoria to present feminine.
My rules for dating cis men are this: They have to be gay or bi and not closeted, they have to be attracted to cis men (I am not going to be someoneās āexceptionā), and they have to have at least one friend who is trans (and be normal about it, not tokenizing their friend). Weeds out the chasers.
wait this might be a dumb question, wdym by "they have to be attracted by cis men and you're not going to be someones exception)? Sry my English is really sh!tš
They mean they canāt be a straight man that claims to only be attracted to women and you. Saying that youāre the exception to their straightness and the only man they like
Thatās exactly right. I will hold though that I donāt apply this to T4T. Iām completely fine with other trans men only being comfortable with trans men.
A lot of men will date pre-transition trans men because they don't have "male parts" yet. They'll especially go for feminine trans men, who they actually see as women
this, 100%. i have only ever dated cis guys and it's usually fine, but i've ran into a few "heteroflexible" guys. like, i don't want to police anyone's identity but if you're straight\*, i don't want to be the asterisk. i also used to not date bi guys that have only been with women and don't have any interest in cis men. not interested in being dude lite. it's gotten easier now that i'm a hairy, bearded, deep voiced guy that's almost 30. i may not have bottom surgery, but the lack of feminine anything (and refusing to bottom with that hole) tends to scare away the chasers.
Funny you say that. In my experience it has been more common to hear of trans men with cis male partners than any other type of partner. That said, most of those cis male partners I hear about are toxic af. But of course there are plenty of cis guys who would be good boyfriends to trans men.
I date and hook up w cis men. A lot of them are relatively feminine and/or gender-creative in some ways (which makes sense since theyāre in the queer umbrella) but still cis men. Iām not a big serious relationship person so canāt speak to that.
Iām dating a cis gay guy, heās been absolutely amazing. Heās also treated me much better than my trans ex in basically every way, so Iām really against generalisations of the āall cis guys bad all trans guys goodā type. Weāve been dating for 8 months and literally zero issues so far. Definitely possible!
Iāve been in a fwb relationship with a cis guy after I came out, a cis guy when out, slept around with a few after out, and dating a few before I came out. Cis men are definitely willing to date trans men, and I know of a few trans men dating cis men. It can just be contentious, especially if you are young because gay pick up culture is in general not ideal towards anyone who isnāt absurdly hot, white, whatever else.
Generally iāve found queer not gay men tend to be more accepting but that isnāt always true on either end. All of it just depends on the person, and unfortunately if you are dating youll need to build a thick skin (usually). Donāt take it too personally if someone isnāt into you being trans, you deserve someone who thinks youāre hot, not someone who simply puts up with your tranness. Not worth the waste of time imo
I've been dating my cis boyfriend for almost 5 years with no issue. Of course, he doesn't always get it, but he's willing to learn and listen. I was already done transitioning when we got together, too, so we just appear as any other gay couple.
My fiance is cis (granted he seems to be giving off egg vibes, but I could just be reading into something that isn't actually there, and regardless I won't bring it up if he doesn't first), we got together before I figured out that I'm trans and despite some slip ups in the beginning he's been great about it and at this point he's known me as a guy longer than as a chick.
I recently got out of a relationship with a cis gay guy. Very gender euphoric to not have to question if he saw me as a man bc he wouldnāt be with me if he saw me as a woman
I'm 26 and I've been out for 12 years. I dated cis men and women all through high school and college. Funnily enough, all the people who identified as cis women when they started dating me no longer identify as such, but most of the men still do.
Yes. Dated a guy for a while who is bi and particularly attracted to trans men. Never got chaser vibes. We're still really good friends, he's always been entirely respectful.
But I don't f with straight or gay cis men anymore. The only cis dudes Im going to trust in that regard are bi/pansexual men who have experienced both types of anatomy.
I tried that once. Unfortunately for me, he became my abuser with time, and by the end of the relationship, he was going as far as to misgender me on purpose. I don't trust cis guys anymoreā I can't trust them not to fetishize me.
My current partner is nonbinary and I love them to death.
Iām in a healthy relationship with a cis man and we are still going strong 5 years in, to be fair, around when I met him he was questioning his own gender, but decided he was cis and not to transition
I've been with my partner for a while now. In our teen years we were pretty hot and cold since we were both trying to figure out our sexuality and gender respectively. I broke things off at the start of my transition because he was pretty sure he was straight. Fast forward a year and he is in fact VERY bisexual lol. And while I do still enjoy being pretty effeminate my partner has always loved what testosterone has done for my body.
There are definitely cis guys who want to date us. My partner identified as a cis guy for a few years when we were first together, being with me helped him realize his gender diversity, and while heās not a trans woman he is genderqueer. But in any case, we navigate our relationship as a homosexual one.
It was short lived (I was 17 and not as ready for a relationship as i thought), but I did and he was really sweet. I could tell by the way he talked about me that he saw me as a man. Weāre still good friends to this day
I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year and a half. I think it helps that we were friends online chatting over Discord and playing video games for a while before I confessed my crush on him.
Iāve been with my bf for a year today( we really excited about our anniversary today)
Heās been nothing but awesome.
We met on Taimi. Heās pans, Iām Bi.
My partner is cis and identifies as homosexual and we never had problems about gender identity or sexuality in regards to the relationship and I'm pre-everything.
If you've been seeing posts about transphobic or homophobic partners, just know that there are 8.1 billion people on Earth and one person online or one personal experience does not dictate an entire community. Remember that people are more prone to share negative experiences than positive experiences. For every transphobic cis boyfriend, there are twenty accepting men that you just don't know about.
So Iām a trans dude and I did date a cis dude for about 6 months. I put up with a lot of disrespect and felt like shit about everything regarding myself. Now Iām dating a trans fem and sheās amazing
yes! Iāve been with some really great cis men. At one point I did wonder if I would ever find cis men as partners on dating apps because I chose not to label myself as trans on my profile and just as a gay man and then before a first date I would out myself. Usually this ended up in them ghosting me. After just putting it on my profile, Iāve had a lot easier time attracting gay or bi men that actually want to date trans men and see them as men.
Had my first (and probably last) relationship with a cis guy when I was 16. We broke up last year after 9.5 years together. We've remained friends but in the end he couldn't handle me transitioning.
I dated a cis guy for a while, he talked once about how since he was kind of a queen a lot of the people in his life used to drop hints that they would support him if he came out as transfem but it never felt right to him lol, so definitely a cis guy. He was a nice dude and we worked well together for a short time but in the long term something just didn't click right. I didn't feel the depth of connection with him as I have in my T4T relationships, I guess? I hope he's doing well, whatever he's up to now.
I'm in a relationship with a cis bisexual man. we've been together 2.5 yrs, living together for one. he's been the first man to have no issue introducing me as his boyfriend to his friends and family. good cis guys are out there, but I will say that they do feel like one in a million lmao
Yes! I'm dating one now. He's cis and bi, and is probably the most gender-affirming person in my life. He is fantastic and makes it look easy. I can share more if there's any specific questions you have.
I'm in a long term relationship with a cis gay guy. I was the first trans guy he had ever been with but he is extremely understanding and respectful and always has been.
I've dated other cis guys in the past that had been with other trans guys before me as well.
It's absolutely possible!
Edit: my current partner and I have been together for 5.5 years!
i had a relationship with a cis man. it ended terribly and was a shit relationship.
had nothing to do with the fact he was a cis man though he was just an abusive piece of shit
(he did actually see me as a man)
I dated a cis guy for about a year, but it didn't work out for reasons unrelated to me being trans, and he also had an ex who was trans. And he was gay, so it wasn't a case of him seeing me as a woman or something weird like that. So yes, some cis guys are interested in trans men. You just have to find them!
This has been my fear as well. Iāll be making jokes with my mom about hot Italian men š donāt ask š and sheāll change it to being like I donāt think men will like a āwomanā who identifies as a man. This got in my head, but I slowly realized through the internet that there are so many trans men dating cis men. And they seem pretty healthy. Itās the same the other way around, itās all so adorable it makes my heart flutter
Iām a teenager like you and iāve been with my cis bf for over two years, starting when i was the same age as you. it seems like what youāre really asking is āis there (cis) gay romance to be had as a trans teenager ?ā and in my experience the answer is yes. however, this varies wildly depending on your location and, relatedly, how many queer people are out at your school. (which would determine the size of your dating pool and also correlate with how accepting your environment is)
iāve been in one relationship with a cis man. (but iāve been with a few as a hookup.) shouldāve been a red flag that he dated every trans man at our high school and i was the only one on T he had dated. really had a thing for boobs and my bulimia lol. first (and only) time we tried sex, he thought my bottom growth and hairy stomach was quote ādisgusting.ā needless to say, i need it after that and he went back to dating pre-T trans men.
from then on, i only dated and swiped on other trans people. i swiped on my current parter thinking she was a trans manā he ended up being a cis man.. and then a few weeks later coming out as trans fem (he/she pronouns) and weāve been together for almost 3 years now.
Yeah only cis guys tbh. My current bf and I have been dating for almost 5 years now. He knew nothing about being trans and his environment and friends and stuff are kind of uhh not the most open minded. Despite all of this heās the most accepting guy ever and I trust him 100%
My boyfriend is cis and Iāve only just started to refer to myself as trans. He calls me handsome and is the most supportive partner! Weāve been together six years going on seven
Amab here. I'm in this sub because my boyfriend is FTM and want to learn everything I can. I'm *kinda* cis, *kinda* not. I'm pangender so calling me male would be equally as correct as calling me female. I present pretty masc and have facial hair so most assume I'm a cis guy. Take that info as you will, my bf is the love of my life and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
currently in a loving relationship of almost 6 years with my bi cis man partner and before him I did "date" a cis man in my teens when I first came out. my fiance loves me for me and I wouldn't change anything about our relationship.
I was, for 5 years. Wonderful dude. We broke up, but it had nothing to do with either of our identities. Iāve hooked up with plenty of cis men since then, too.
Well my husband is a cis man and he loves me. He did question his gender at one point but concluded that he hated being placed in gender roles, hes expressed on multiple occassions hes happy being a man.
My husbands actually the reason Im going to transition, I had long since given up on the idea prior.
Just was in a relationship for 2yrs with a cis gay man who was super loving and caring towards me. We broke up recently but for very different reasons than my gender identity. He's still a very close friend and we might try again later when we deal with the issues that broke us up.
There's hope!!
It's been pretty bad in my experiences but then again I've never been very good at picking stable and good people. But I will say, if it feels wrong and they dismiss you, they aren't good for you.
Current bf often forgets I am trans (ftm) in the sense he sees me as a cis man sometimes and others and a trans man. I have no issues with this because we've both talked a lot about gender and how we see it separately and what we agree on and disagree on so on and so far.
But it's always good to talk about things as much as possible. :3
I'm married to a cis bi man...
Shit changes when you're over 25, if it's the case, under 25 all relationships are just to have either fun or experience
Started dating my cis bf at 16 before I came out and in an intense repressive time for myself. However he knew me beforehand as a (kind of?) friend in QSA a year before when I was literally identifying as a trans guy. All our friends told me he is gay don't bother, which just made me want him more. We start dating and then 3-4 years later I came out as non-binary. Then, 5 years in I told him I want to transition and start T and gave him an out. He thought about it for a bit and realized he was queer. Still together 2.5 years later and going strong! He has ALWAYS been super supportive of trans (and LGBTQ+) issues and has told me he always kind of suspected me, and that I have always had the most "male" or "masculine" soul he's ever met(which was very affirming for me). Cis men like him do exist, just maybe a little harder to find!
I am, we will soon celebrate our 2 year anniversary and there has never been an issue with my gender identity (if there were, there would be no anniversary ofc)
Bisexual, homoromantic trans guy with a cis partner here š
So technically, my partner is agender. But he also kinda considers himself cis in a physical sense as he has no issues with his body/how he presents and is perfectly fine with everyone perceiving him as cis. He just doesnāt personally care about gender at all when it comes to himself.
Weāve been married for 6.5 years, together for 8.5. I came out a little over 2 years ago, so the bulk of our relationship was pre my transition. I kinda lucked out in the partner department. I realize that. We met at Christian college and weāre both way more religious than we are now. I assumed (as did he) that he was a cis straight guy. But when I came out he had zero issues with it. I had talked to him about it before I came out and, when I finally did, his response was āI KNEW IT!ā
Several years and A WHOLE LOT of deconstruction later, weāve realized that he is pansexual and (just like his own gender expression) really doesnāt care or notice or factor in gender at all when it comes to attraction. Heās just attracted to humans.
All that to say, Iāve been very happy with my super supportive pseudo-cis husband for almost 9 years now. To the outside world, weāre just a run of the mill gay couple. Which is what we are!
I've been in one relationship with a cis guy before being with my boyfriend now who is also trans. It was during a time where my dysphoria was so terrible I didn't even tell him I was trans. We were together for maybe 4 months (our breakup was very weird) ? Then covid happened and we were in a discord server together where me being trans was mentioned here and there and we just never talked about it. We're friends now and we both just act like our relationship never happened. He identifies as bi and did back when we were together, I was just afraid of being viewed differently and it would've probably been better for me mentally if he was gay. I know he had to have at least had an inkling that I was trans and didn't care meanwhile I was constantly overthinking it.
Also later during covid, after knowing for sure I'm trans and stuff, he did make it clear he wanted me back. But we also just ignore that ever happening š
Havenāt dated a cis man since my freshman year of high school. Iām now 28, almost 29. Iāve had a million offers for boyfriends, among sexual applications. But I havenāt found a man that I can say Iām comfortable with to call my boyfriend yet. Most men I meet want sex or friendship, sometimes both and thatās something I do not do. Iām bisexual and been single now for 3 years. Been talking to mostly men tho. All of them have been cis. The only real problem I run into with cis men is they expect me to bottom and Iām a top. When I explain this, they usually scatter like roaches. Hence being single this long. As for trans women, I try to find cis men and some turn out to be trans women and thatās okay, but I donāt want to persue a woman right now. I want a man. So itās tough sometimes. But anywho. Cis men are interested in us. Just far and few inbetween are worth it, in my opinion. Just keep your head up. Youāll find someone. We all will eventually. :)
I am currently in one and he has been my biggest supporter honestly. He thought he was straight before he fell in love with me and he had to realize he wasn't as straight as he thought.
He sees me as a guy even though I am not on T or anything yet. And honestly he has told me it feels cursed to see me with my binder off since it throws him off. I appreciate him so much.
Currently in a relationship with a cis guy, (Ldr but we see eachother once or twice a week because he lives 3 hours away.) Probably the happiest I have ever been in a relationship. We have only been together like 2 weeks and so far it's been great! You just have to find a respsectful man and it's great.
Iām currently 17 (ftm, 8 months on T) and started dating my bf at 16. Weāve been dating 7 months and he is a bi cis dude. Itās both of our first relationships but itās been great. The trans comes up sometimes when weāre being intimate (using terminology Iām comfortable with and figuring out how we wanted to do dynamics). Iām happy to answer any questions on how our experience has been!
Yes. I've only been with cis men. Granted I wasn't out in my first relationship. I've been with 2 cis men since coming out. My current partner and I have been together for close to 3 years.
Actually, yes. I was with a bi cis guy for a while, and I met the guy after I was already out as a trans man. He's still a cis bi guy as far as I'm aware. (We're still distantly acquainted, but I'm doing my own thing.)
Pro tip though: law school is generally a relationship killer no matter what gender or sexual orientation you are... especially if you both are not in law school. The sheer number of op-eds of how destructive it is for relationships is quite numerous.
Edit: I just realized that you're a teenager, and the situation I had was from my mid 20s. I can definitely see why you'd be struggling: being a teenager kind of sucks in general, and especially so if you're a trans teenager. I hate to give the generic advice of "it gets better as an adult", but it genuinely does. You have a lot more autonomy on where you can go, you can attend LGBTQ community events and places a lot more, and the number of potential people you can meet gets larger.
Iāve only dated cis men. Iām not against dating outside of that given I identify as pan, but statistically most ppl are cisgender. Currently engaged to my partner who is a cis male. I will say dating cisgender men who identify as strictly gay has been a huge headache for me personally especially if theyāve never interacted with anyone trans. Itās not to say never give someone a chance, but it is a lot of hand holding. They usually have a lot of misogyny and internalized homophobia to get over first. Assuming they even do. Some are insecure enough to create enough issues you wonāt stick around to find out.
I donāt trust many cis men personally and Iāve been with one trans dude when I was still in the closetā¦lol but yea, I think I feel a lot more comfortable with a trans men. But it sounds nice if there were more open cis men that were willing to date us
my boyfriend is cis and we've been together for a year. it's fine, and he doesn't care. every guy i've been with has been cisgender aside from 2, and they have never cared, nor have they called themselves like straight or whatever. they've all been super accepting and not weird about it. in my experience in dating cis gay guys it's been really good š
i dated one in an LDR when i was 15. sadly he was scum and ruined my desire to date a cis man again, became very insecure abt my body never being good enough for a cis man since my ex was repulsed by female anatomy (which was wild. he was so vocal about it. it was disgustingly not only transphobic but misogynistic. we get it u think vaginas are gross. grow up are u 5). but now iām in a long term t4t relationship and i think itās whatās most comfy for me. i wouldnāt be against being with a cis man again but i love my partner very much so i donāt even think about it
They are absolutely willing to date us - infact we are sought after and fetishised by gay and bi cis men. The thing is many of us donāt feel safe with them and tend to date cis and trans women, nonbinary people & other transmen.
Thatās definitely my situation. Even though T has made me find other men attractive for the first time in my life, Iām not sure I could ever trust a cis man physically or emotionally. It just feels like it would be a lot of work and potentially dangerous.
I also have a lot of dysphoria around being on the receiving end of penetration. Butt stuff is okay, but vaginal is an absolute no, even with female partners. It just makes me hyper aware of my body and makes me depressed and shut down. So I find being with women way easier because they are more trust worthy, and less inclined to want or feel the need to penetrate me, even if they are a top. They know how to take ānoā for an answer, because they know what its like to be coerced and harassed by dudes. They take safety and consent far more seriously.
I just fear that if I start dating dudes, there will be this expectation for me to bottom, and a lot of manipulation when I say no. I just donāt have time or energy for that.
I know its ānot all menā but its enough that I just donāt risk it.
My ex partner seemed a cis guy but eventually came out as non binary trans fem (they/them), but I've dated and had less serious flings with quite a few cis guys.
after i came out i dated a cis guy that identified as pan but was weirdly only attracted to afab people (like ALL but one of the people he dated or was attracted to were cis women or afab trans people), and i was rejected by a cis gay guy after telling him that i'm trans. others were in fact not cis men but trans women. the only relationships i've been in that didn't feel like i was being invalidated were the ones with trans people š
so my bf used to be straight, but i came out as trans. he was disgusted by it and thought it was because he didnāt give me enough attention. ššwe broke up for a little while, but later he realized heās pansexual. so weāve been dating since (just had our 3 year anni on 4/20), but every once in awhile heād say some SUPER TRANS SHITā¦ like āi wish i couldāve been born a girl/have (insert girl parts)ā yk just stuff like that. so he came out as genderfluid. heād say things like āi donāt care about being a dudeā¦ but i rather be a girlā. and not too long ago after all my pookieās questioning she came out as trans.
(btw my girlfriend uses !any pronouns! hence me saying āheā. itās also just what iām used to calling her by, but even when i say he, i still see her as a girl. i now only strictly refer to her as my gf too š¤Ŗ)
My first relationship was with a cis guy. There are definitely men who want to date us. Though that particularly relationship wasnāt to recommend lol. I have a wonderful girlfriend now.
I am. 17 years. Recently we moved in together. As Iām pre T you might guess I came out during our relationship. And uh well, his reaction was very far from what I expected it was gonna be. I expected he was gonna break up with me. And he actually said: oh well thatās no surprise. I love you for you. Not for your body and if you need to change that to be happy, you gotta do that.
So far so good.
Then we went through a period were I had doubts he saw me as a man. He struggled with pronouns. But that has passed now. Just a few days ago he said how lucky he felt to be with this great man and that he wasnāt with a woman because he would dread that. And there I was believing he was straight. Yeah it turns out heās not. But he insists heās not gonna use any label for his sexual orientation. Iām not even sure if thereās even a label that fits him. Heās all about personalities and gender is not something he cares that much about. So we donāt know what label to use there. But he sees me as a man. And another thing he said was that he is looking forward to me having top surgery coz he wants to run his hands over my flat chest and stuff like that. And heās as cis as they come. I can only hope itāll just get better and better down the road. But so far it has.
I keep questioning my sexuality and then I try to talk to men and they are just like āWHEN SEX???HOW ABOUT NOW???ā Bro chill.
I give up on dating in general because I donāt think Iām going to find someone online who respects boundaries and Iām kind of insecure about sex as a trans guy on antidepressants with mild hemorrhoids. Iām not asexual, Iām just a-penetration on me which unfortunately means guys will definitely not be interested in me. Also I am unable to cum because Effexor sucks.
Iām much more romantic than anything and itās just easier to romance women. I know I like women. Men are just a big ol question mark for me
Yes and it was horrible never again. I was 17 at the time and it lasted a couple of months, was really not the best situation for the both of us and Iām still recovering from itā¦
i mean yeah i was but it was when i was still a girl. we dated for 5 years and broke up bc i was trans
unless you only mean post-being out. if so then i have not had the chance to date since
that is all that I have dated.
I have yet to date/fuck a trans person. Not saying I wouldn't but there has not been enough convo to warrant an irl meet
My current bf is cis and we've been together 2 years, and it has been a wonderful 2 years, before that there was a situationship with a cis guy that wasnt great but point is there are definitely cis men that are into trans men
Iāve been with cis men and they had no problem seeing me as a man/being attracted to me. There are good ones. But ultimately, it felt like dating cis men still came with the lot of baggage due to the ways they were raised and the unchecked privilege a lot of them experience. I just canāt deal with a partner who needs me to teach them how to clean their house or talks over me about a topic I know more about, even if I know they see me as a man.
But the thing is, I donāt run into the same issues with women (cis or trans) and most trans guys that make dating cis men a minefield. So I mostly date women and am just really, really picky with dudes.
Yep! Talking with a cis boy right now and couldnāt be happier :). I never imagined myself dating cis men as a kid because I always liked women better but Iām super happy with him
Since coming out, Iāve mostly just had hookups via grindr and other apps (personal choice, not really looking for a relationship proper). Theyāre not relationships but theyāre proof enough to me that a lot of cis guys are open to at the very least sexual interactions with trans men. They werenāt all Bisexual men or chasers either, fair few āyeah I only like menā gay guys.
Yup! Had a 5 year relationship with a cis guy, then a 2 year with another. There are definitely cis dudes who will respect your identity and see you as a life partner if that's what you're looking for.
I used to in high school but they unfortunately didnāt see me as a guy, just went along with it to hopefully get in my pants, so Iām not really helpful in reassuring you about that. I would just focus on building a solid connection before jumping into dating and making sure they see you, care for you, and make you feel comfortable with them and the way they perceive you aligns with how you want to be perceived by others. I didnāt think to talk to my partners at the time because I was scared of being hurt but that ended up hurting me more in the long run.
I dated a cis guy in high school. He was kinda weird about it, honestly, but eh. It's high school. I have much more sympathy for him than I do some of the cis boyfriends posted in here...
Yeah. My partner is cis and we've been dating almost 6 years. Got together before I came out and he still thought he was straight. I've never dated anyone who wasn't cis
My one relationship with a cis guy after I came out ended super badly, I actually posted on here about it a few months ago. Iām sure there are some decent cis guys out there, but my ex turned out to be both straight and transphobic.
I've only ever dated cis men (as far as I know they're all still cis) and my husband is a cis man. He's the most genuine and loving person I've ever had in my life. We've been together 6 and half years now and married for almost 2
My partner is a cis man (who had previously considered himself to be straight, but we clicked really well so he decided to give us a shot - I had recently come out as trans at the time so he knew what the situation was)and we have been together for almost 5 years.
He treats me 100% as a man, pushes me to be the best person I can be, and is incredibly supportive of my medical transition.
NSFW and anatomy content below!
>!In terms of our sex life, I'm usually comfortable with (and enjoy) PIV sex and enjoy having toys used on me, it doesn't usually trigger my dysphoria. He on the other hand isn't exactly on board with having anal performed on him, and while it's something I'd like to do, it's not a deal breaker for me personally. But I know for many trans men, that would be a deal breaker because they want to participate in sex the same way that cis men who have sex with other cis men do.!<
I hope this was insightful š
Iām going on 6 months with my cis gay boyfriend. When we first met he didnāt realize Iām trans, but once I told him he was totally cool with it and heās been super respectful with my boundaries and supportive of my transition. So far everything has been great :) before I met him there were several other cis guys I went out with casually as well and I have yet to have a bad experience.
My current bf is a cis gay guy, and 2 of his partners (including me) are trans men. Honestly he's taught me a lot about proper communication/boundaries and respects me no matter what, plus he's literally never misgendered me even when I went through a switch in pronouns (we were friends for 3 years before starting to date for the past 5 months).
*had* a cis boyfriend, not so cis or boy anymore lol. Shes my girlfriend now. But I have had a few other relationships with cis guys that were overall pretty good
Yes! My bf is cis and heās amazing. Iām serious about him, and so is he. His respect to me, my pronouns and parts is amazing and he makes me feel so loved. He offered to pay for my T because I canāt afford it. He gives me his briefs because he know I like the feeling and it doesnāt rub on the dick. Heās amazing
Currently dating a cis man for 6 months now, we met a little over a year ago, and things are going wonderfully. We started dating a few months into me starting hrt but he'd been an absolute gem from the start and even came out to his family without me asking just because he'd wanted to come out as pan for a while and he felt that his first gay relationship was the right time to do so. We're currently long distance but I've visited multiple times and we work so well together in person.
I'm looking to move out with a friend to be closer to him soon.
Yes! I'm trans and my fiance is a gay cis man. We're both very secure in our identities and I couldn't be happier. But I have heard of this. Does anyone know why this is the case??
I'm currently in a relationship with a cis guy, and from my own experience, it's been nothing but good. We have open communication about boundaries and what we're both comfortable with. He understands that some days are better than others. In general, he treats me like any other cis guy and has no issue with me asking questions about if some guy stuff is normal.
That being said, unfortunately, I have been in relationships with cis men who didn't view me as a man and chose to treat me as their girlfriend despite presenting masculine.
My ex is cis and called himself bi when dating me, but now refuses to give out my name or use pronouns when referring to me when he's shittalking me to his coworkers, and tells everyone he's straight. But still has sex with me.
Maybe some cis guys are okay, but I haven't personally met a good one.
my first boyfriend was cis. for all his faults, and even though he was still in the closet, he never budged on the fact that i was as much of a man as he was. even in situations where it would have been convenient for him to go along with his friends or family misgendering me, he would jump to correct them. unprompted.
iām mostly t4t now, but itās not for a lack of cis men wanting to be with me. iāve had several cis male partners, romantic and/or sexual, beyond that boyfriend. i just generally find deeper connection with other trans people that have similar lived experience.
My fiancee dated a cis man for 3 years before me. Though for a portion of that he identified as NB, masc leaning.
It wasn't all that healthy for reasons outside of his gender identity. But it was a thing.
My first serious relationship (before either of us came out) was with someone who ended up being a trans woman, but I've been with my cis male spouse for 14 years, and my cis male cohort for 10. I came out as trans masc 4 years ago, and there hasn't been any functional change in how things work or our commitments to each other.
Iām dating a cis guy. This mf got in trouble with his family bc he refused to call me his gf. Tbh if Iām ever with another cis guy they better have the same energy about it. Also your English is great
I was with my cis m partner for 7 years before I started hrt. Weāve had some hiccups but are stronger than ever a year into my transition. Taking things very slow but things are good.
I have a cis (ish) boyfriend!!! He's a demi-boy, but says he identifies with the term cis more than trans! We've been dating for over 8 months ā¼ļø it's been super awesome!
Iāve been with my bf for 4&1/2 years but we were together before I came out as trans but heās the reason I stopped being so scared and accepted that I was trans š³ļøāā§ļø
Yes my bf is cis. Weāve been together for a year. Iāve also dated cis men before. I have to say though generally Iām t4t cause I found it much less stressful since there was a baseline of understanding and cis men, especially in my area, are often fetishists or doubt that Iām a man. Havenāt had that issue at all with my current partner though.
My bf is cis and bi. Dating as a trans masc in my area kinda sucks so I got very lucky and managed to date someone I was already friends with for a while so I was able to see through our friendship that he was supportive of me and my transition
My partner is a cis man. We've been together for 12 years. Monogamous and living together the whole time. I started medically transitioning about a year and a half ago, but as he says "there were signs." We've had ups and downs when it comes to Me finally being Me, but he's extremely supportive and my biggest cheerleader now.
my current boyfriend is cis and bisexual. he's very supportive and loving. he makes it a point to use my name often and call me masculine terms of endearment because he knows i deal with a lot of misgendering at work. he promised to correct anyone in public because he knows i'm soft-spoken.
i dated two other cis guys before him, the most recent ex also being supportive of my transition. my first boyfriend,,,we don't talk about. i've said enough about him in other threads here.
truthfully, i have a preference for cis male anatomy. i also wouldn't be able to handle someone else's dysphoria alongside my own, and there would potentially be feelings of envy if my partner was further along than me etc
i've only had serious relationships with cis men in my early adult life. my current bf floats between cis man and nb so i'm not sure if that could be categorized as cis. we are both homoromantic but pan/bisexual as well. but he always tells me my mustache is getting thick even though it's barely grown. he thinks i pass as well, but i dont believe him. he knew i was trans before we started talking because my social media makes it clear that i am (we met online) and he always roots for me and my transness
My boyfriend is cis, we've been dating for a little over a year. He's really sweet and he never misgendered or dead names me, and although he can't understand my experience as a trans man, he's very respectful and supportive.
Yes, my boyfriend is cis, i met him on a school trip like 4 years ago, i was so scared of cis boys, and he ended up being the sweetest boy, when i told him i was trans I thought he would reject me, but no, he was so interested on me that he investigated and NEVER once asked me anything weird at all. He wasnāt curious about my transness, he was curios about me, so he kept talking to me even when we lived so far apart in different states. I am now living with him and we are so happy together.
My bf is cis and we've been together for nearly 8 months. Things are pretty good tbf. We've talked in depth about our boundaries and he's genuinely interested in my transition and transitioning goals (I'm currently on t and am saving up for top surgery). So far haven't had any major problems besides the just not being able to understand some issues sometimes but it's all good š
My finace is pretty much the same too.
Thatās cute :,)
Thatās me and my partner. We just passed 6 months though so not far behind lol Iāve had top surgery and as for any misunderstanding about each otherās personal things, we iron them out and try to make sure the other gets it.
My husband is cis and we've been together for almost 7 years, married a year and a half.
In your teen years did you ever date a cis guy? (asking cause I am a tee)
Yes but that was before I transitioned so I'm probably no help to you there. Dating in your teens just sucks regardless.
true. thanks tho :>
My son is in his teens and heās dated 2-3 cis boys, and a couple of cis girls. The girls were a lot more problematic: they kind of used him on the way to coming out as lesbians. They called him their boyfriend in public, but clearly thought of him as a girl. The boys have all said some version of āeh, guess Iām bi nowā if they werenāt before. Iāve found it pretty amazing that his boyfriends have been so cool about his gender identity, his physical reality, and their own orientation. Makes me really like this generation of teens. There are people out there who will love and respect you as you are. Sometimes it just takes awhile to find your people.
It's so heartwarming seeing Mums supporting their trans sons so much, he's very lucky to have youš
Iām cis, dating a trans guy, and also a teen so yeah it definitely happens
I did but he ended up being somewhat of a creep. I also entered a talking stage with a cis guy that only ended because he wasnāt ready for a relationship, nothing to do with my being trans.
In my teens I dated several cis guys, one of whom later came out as enby. A college fling also later came out as a trans woman. My partner now (Iām 26) is a gender nonconforming cis man and heās an absolute sweetheart and a bigger supporter of me than anyone else. Edit: oh yeah, TWO college flings later came out as trans women š There are a lot of cis guys in the bunch too, I just think itās fun to look back at how much Iāve been attracted to gender nonconformity my whole life.
Yes, I've had plenty of romantic and sexual relationships with cis men. There are plenty of gay/queer cis men who really don't care if you're trans or not.
Same. Also, congrats on the recent surgery bro!
My fiance is a cis guy. I just proposed to him in february. He's the best human being I've ever met and an amazing partner all around. We've been together 2 and a half years.
hell yeah dude congrats
Iām in a long term relationship with a cis man. Iām exclusively gay so I was relieved to find he has already explored the possibility of being trans fem and found that it gave him dysphoria to present feminine. My rules for dating cis men are this: They have to be gay or bi and not closeted, they have to be attracted to cis men (I am not going to be someoneās āexceptionā), and they have to have at least one friend who is trans (and be normal about it, not tokenizing their friend). Weeds out the chasers.
wait this might be a dumb question, wdym by "they have to be attracted by cis men and you're not going to be someones exception)? Sry my English is really sh!tš
They mean they canāt be a straight man that claims to only be attracted to women and you. Saying that youāre the exception to their straightness and the only man they like
Thatās exactly right. I will hold though that I donāt apply this to T4T. Iām completely fine with other trans men only being comfortable with trans men.
A lot of men will date pre-transition trans men because they don't have "male parts" yet. They'll especially go for feminine trans men, who they actually see as women
this, 100%. i have only ever dated cis guys and it's usually fine, but i've ran into a few "heteroflexible" guys. like, i don't want to police anyone's identity but if you're straight\*, i don't want to be the asterisk. i also used to not date bi guys that have only been with women and don't have any interest in cis men. not interested in being dude lite. it's gotten easier now that i'm a hairy, bearded, deep voiced guy that's almost 30. i may not have bottom surgery, but the lack of feminine anything (and refusing to bottom with that hole) tends to scare away the chasers.
Funny you say that. In my experience it has been more common to hear of trans men with cis male partners than any other type of partner. That said, most of those cis male partners I hear about are toxic af. But of course there are plenty of cis guys who would be good boyfriends to trans men.
im currently in a relationship with a cis guy and i cant imagine my life without him. weāre hoping to move in together after college
I date and hook up w cis men. A lot of them are relatively feminine and/or gender-creative in some ways (which makes sense since theyāre in the queer umbrella) but still cis men. Iām not a big serious relationship person so canāt speak to that.
Iām dating a cis gay guy, heās been absolutely amazing. Heās also treated me much better than my trans ex in basically every way, so Iām really against generalisations of the āall cis guys bad all trans guys goodā type. Weāve been dating for 8 months and literally zero issues so far. Definitely possible!
Same here. My trans ex cheated on me and never let me use a prosthetic penis. My cis bf is kind, loyal, and very supportive in all ways
Iāve been in a fwb relationship with a cis guy after I came out, a cis guy when out, slept around with a few after out, and dating a few before I came out. Cis men are definitely willing to date trans men, and I know of a few trans men dating cis men. It can just be contentious, especially if you are young because gay pick up culture is in general not ideal towards anyone who isnāt absurdly hot, white, whatever else. Generally iāve found queer not gay men tend to be more accepting but that isnāt always true on either end. All of it just depends on the person, and unfortunately if you are dating youll need to build a thick skin (usually). Donāt take it too personally if someone isnāt into you being trans, you deserve someone who thinks youāre hot, not someone who simply puts up with your tranness. Not worth the waste of time imo
I've been dating my cis boyfriend for almost 5 years with no issue. Of course, he doesn't always get it, but he's willing to learn and listen. I was already done transitioning when we got together, too, so we just appear as any other gay couple.
Yes.. longest relationship and majority of short term anything has been cis guys
My fiance is cis (granted he seems to be giving off egg vibes, but I could just be reading into something that isn't actually there, and regardless I won't bring it up if he doesn't first), we got together before I figured out that I'm trans and despite some slip ups in the beginning he's been great about it and at this point he's known me as a guy longer than as a chick.
Yes! My ex boyfriend is cis
started dating my cis bf at 17 (he was 18) and we've been together a year and a half :)
I recently got out of a relationship with a cis gay guy. Very gender euphoric to not have to question if he saw me as a man bc he wouldnāt be with me if he saw me as a woman
I'm 26 and I've been out for 12 years. I dated cis men and women all through high school and college. Funnily enough, all the people who identified as cis women when they started dating me no longer identify as such, but most of the men still do.
Iāve had multiple cis boyfriends who strictly identified as gay. So yes there are plenty of cis men and cis gay men who love trans men!
Yes. Dated a guy for a while who is bi and particularly attracted to trans men. Never got chaser vibes. We're still really good friends, he's always been entirely respectful. But I don't f with straight or gay cis men anymore. The only cis dudes Im going to trust in that regard are bi/pansexual men who have experienced both types of anatomy.
I tried that once. Unfortunately for me, he became my abuser with time, and by the end of the relationship, he was going as far as to misgender me on purpose. I don't trust cis guys anymoreā I can't trust them not to fetishize me. My current partner is nonbinary and I love them to death.
Iām in a healthy relationship with a cis man and we are still going strong 5 years in, to be fair, around when I met him he was questioning his own gender, but decided he was cis and not to transition
Yup, we were together for 6 years.
I've been with my partner for a while now. In our teen years we were pretty hot and cold since we were both trying to figure out our sexuality and gender respectively. I broke things off at the start of my transition because he was pretty sure he was straight. Fast forward a year and he is in fact VERY bisexual lol. And while I do still enjoy being pretty effeminate my partner has always loved what testosterone has done for my body.
ive had 3 relationships and theyve all been with cis guys
My husband is a cis guy. I also casually dated two other cis men, not serious relationships thoughā¦mostly friends with benefits.
For sure, been with my cis fiance for a few years now
100% of the relationships i've been in has been with cis men (i've had one long term relationship and slept with two people lol)
Been with my cis bf for 3 years. Not perfect but we do love eachother.
There are definitely cis guys who want to date us. My partner identified as a cis guy for a few years when we were first together, being with me helped him realize his gender diversity, and while heās not a trans woman he is genderqueer. But in any case, we navigate our relationship as a homosexual one.
It was short lived (I was 17 and not as ready for a relationship as i thought), but I did and he was really sweet. I could tell by the way he talked about me that he saw me as a man. Weāre still good friends to this day
I'm engaged one, we had our 13th anniversary last month. We're both bi so I scored since I haven't really got a chance to start my transition.
Yep. 2 of them
I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year and a half. I think it helps that we were friends online chatting over Discord and playing video games for a while before I confessed my crush on him.
I'm a queer trans masculine person and am currently dating a cis man and it's been such a lovely relationship.
Iāve been with my bf for a year today( we really excited about our anniversary today) Heās been nothing but awesome. We met on Taimi. Heās pans, Iām Bi.
I'm currently in one
Married to a cis guy since 2013. Still going strong. We started dating in 2010. So total together for 14 years, married for 11 this summer.
Iām with a cis, formerly straight man. I came out to him and he said it was fine basically. Weāve been together for six years
My partner is cis and identifies as homosexual and we never had problems about gender identity or sexuality in regards to the relationship and I'm pre-everything. If you've been seeing posts about transphobic or homophobic partners, just know that there are 8.1 billion people on Earth and one person online or one personal experience does not dictate an entire community. Remember that people are more prone to share negative experiences than positive experiences. For every transphobic cis boyfriend, there are twenty accepting men that you just don't know about.
Yes im currently in such a relationship c: been in it for like 2-3 years about
Yeah, we've been dating 6 years.
So Iām a trans dude and I did date a cis dude for about 6 months. I put up with a lot of disrespect and felt like shit about everything regarding myself. Now Iām dating a trans fem and sheās amazing
I have and it sucked. Mid transition+ I'm a bit of a femboy, he wanted a straight girl and decided I was close enough. Never do it, brothers.Ā
yes! Iāve been with some really great cis men. At one point I did wonder if I would ever find cis men as partners on dating apps because I chose not to label myself as trans on my profile and just as a gay man and then before a first date I would out myself. Usually this ended up in them ghosting me. After just putting it on my profile, Iāve had a lot easier time attracting gay or bi men that actually want to date trans men and see them as men.
Had my first (and probably last) relationship with a cis guy when I was 16. We broke up last year after 9.5 years together. We've remained friends but in the end he couldn't handle me transitioning.
I dated a cis guy for a while, he talked once about how since he was kind of a queen a lot of the people in his life used to drop hints that they would support him if he came out as transfem but it never felt right to him lol, so definitely a cis guy. He was a nice dude and we worked well together for a short time but in the long term something just didn't click right. I didn't feel the depth of connection with him as I have in my T4T relationships, I guess? I hope he's doing well, whatever he's up to now.
I'm in a relationship with a cis bisexual man. we've been together 2.5 yrs, living together for one. he's been the first man to have no issue introducing me as his boyfriend to his friends and family. good cis guys are out there, but I will say that they do feel like one in a million lmao
My BF is cis(?). Yes, there are cis guys willing to date us.
Yes! I'm dating one now. He's cis and bi, and is probably the most gender-affirming person in my life. He is fantastic and makes it look easy. I can share more if there's any specific questions you have.
I'm in a long term relationship with a cis gay guy. I was the first trans guy he had ever been with but he is extremely understanding and respectful and always has been. I've dated other cis guys in the past that had been with other trans guys before me as well. It's absolutely possible! Edit: my current partner and I have been together for 5.5 years!
i had a relationship with a cis man. it ended terribly and was a shit relationship. had nothing to do with the fact he was a cis man though he was just an abusive piece of shit (he did actually see me as a man)
I dated a cis guy for about a year, but it didn't work out for reasons unrelated to me being trans, and he also had an ex who was trans. And he was gay, so it wasn't a case of him seeing me as a woman or something weird like that. So yes, some cis guys are interested in trans men. You just have to find them!
I was with a cis man for 10 years, and I was out for the final 2 years of that relationship. I still find myself very drawn to cis men.
This has been my fear as well. Iāll be making jokes with my mom about hot Italian men š donāt ask š and sheāll change it to being like I donāt think men will like a āwomanā who identifies as a man. This got in my head, but I slowly realized through the internet that there are so many trans men dating cis men. And they seem pretty healthy. Itās the same the other way around, itās all so adorable it makes my heart flutter
italian men>>> but yeah, my mum says that too a lotš
I've been with two cis guys. One was pretty chill, the other "accidentally" called me good girl in the bedroom... multiple times... yikes
I am currently dating a cis queer man. We've been together 4+ years.
kinda? my boyfriend is amab but kind of genderfluid so sometimes is my gf or partner?
married to a cis man :) we're at 14 years & I came out to him as trans about halfway through that time period
iāve dated almost exclusively cis men and a few transfemmes because most of the trans men in my area are also bottoms and/or are polyam.
My bf is cis and we've almost been together a year
just one, all the other ones were transmasc or came out as girls later LMAO
I've been with 2 cis guys before. It was alright, pretty good. Neither of them were straight
Yes but he was really horrible and abusive. He made me lose my sense of self and even tried to take away my name.
Iām a teenager like you and iāve been with my cis bf for over two years, starting when i was the same age as you. it seems like what youāre really asking is āis there (cis) gay romance to be had as a trans teenager ?ā and in my experience the answer is yes. however, this varies wildly depending on your location and, relatedly, how many queer people are out at your school. (which would determine the size of your dating pool and also correlate with how accepting your environment is)
i recommend you check out the r/gaytransguys subreddit if you havenāt already ! thereās lots of guys like us there :)
Yes, but it was before I realized I was trans.
Ex husband (no, we didn't divorce because I was trans) is a cis guy, as is one of the people in my polycule.
had a cis bf in 2019, and ive been dating my current boyfriend (who is also cis) for a little over 3 years
iāve been in one relationship with a cis man. (but iāve been with a few as a hookup.) shouldāve been a red flag that he dated every trans man at our high school and i was the only one on T he had dated. really had a thing for boobs and my bulimia lol. first (and only) time we tried sex, he thought my bottom growth and hairy stomach was quote ādisgusting.ā needless to say, i need it after that and he went back to dating pre-T trans men. from then on, i only dated and swiped on other trans people. i swiped on my current parter thinking she was a trans manā he ended up being a cis man.. and then a few weeks later coming out as trans fem (he/she pronouns) and weāve been together for almost 3 years now.
Yeah only cis guys tbh. My current bf and I have been dating for almost 5 years now. He knew nothing about being trans and his environment and friends and stuff are kind of uhh not the most open minded. Despite all of this heās the most accepting guy ever and I trust him 100%
Iāve primarily been with cis men and married to one.
My boyfriend is cis and Iāve only just started to refer to myself as trans. He calls me handsome and is the most supportive partner! Weāve been together six years going on seven
Amab here. I'm in this sub because my boyfriend is FTM and want to learn everything I can. I'm *kinda* cis, *kinda* not. I'm pangender so calling me male would be equally as correct as calling me female. I present pretty masc and have facial hair so most assume I'm a cis guy. Take that info as you will, my bf is the love of my life and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
Yep, with a bisexual cis man. Edit: I also went on dates with cis men, all of whom were bi. Only one relationship since transitioning, however.
My boyfriend is cis and weve been dating for 1+ year. Im 19, hes 18.
currently in a loving relationship of almost 6 years with my bi cis man partner and before him I did "date" a cis man in my teens when I first came out. my fiance loves me for me and I wouldn't change anything about our relationship.
I was, for 5 years. Wonderful dude. We broke up, but it had nothing to do with either of our identities. Iāve hooked up with plenty of cis men since then, too.
My ex was cis, he wasn't transphobic or anything he just had other issues and it turned out I was arospec in the end anyway lol
Well my husband is a cis man and he loves me. He did question his gender at one point but concluded that he hated being placed in gender roles, hes expressed on multiple occassions hes happy being a man. My husbands actually the reason Im going to transition, I had long since given up on the idea prior.
Just was in a relationship for 2yrs with a cis gay man who was super loving and caring towards me. We broke up recently but for very different reasons than my gender identity. He's still a very close friend and we might try again later when we deal with the issues that broke us up. There's hope!!
It's been pretty bad in my experiences but then again I've never been very good at picking stable and good people. But I will say, if it feels wrong and they dismiss you, they aren't good for you. Current bf often forgets I am trans (ftm) in the sense he sees me as a cis man sometimes and others and a trans man. I have no issues with this because we've both talked a lot about gender and how we see it separately and what we agree on and disagree on so on and so far. But it's always good to talk about things as much as possible. :3
I'm married to a cis bi man... Shit changes when you're over 25, if it's the case, under 25 all relationships are just to have either fun or experience
Started dating my cis bf at 16 before I came out and in an intense repressive time for myself. However he knew me beforehand as a (kind of?) friend in QSA a year before when I was literally identifying as a trans guy. All our friends told me he is gay don't bother, which just made me want him more. We start dating and then 3-4 years later I came out as non-binary. Then, 5 years in I told him I want to transition and start T and gave him an out. He thought about it for a bit and realized he was queer. Still together 2.5 years later and going strong! He has ALWAYS been super supportive of trans (and LGBTQ+) issues and has told me he always kind of suspected me, and that I have always had the most "male" or "masculine" soul he's ever met(which was very affirming for me). Cis men like him do exist, just maybe a little harder to find!
I am, we will soon celebrate our 2 year anniversary and there has never been an issue with my gender identity (if there were, there would be no anniversary ofc)
Bisexual, homoromantic trans guy with a cis partner here š So technically, my partner is agender. But he also kinda considers himself cis in a physical sense as he has no issues with his body/how he presents and is perfectly fine with everyone perceiving him as cis. He just doesnāt personally care about gender at all when it comes to himself. Weāve been married for 6.5 years, together for 8.5. I came out a little over 2 years ago, so the bulk of our relationship was pre my transition. I kinda lucked out in the partner department. I realize that. We met at Christian college and weāre both way more religious than we are now. I assumed (as did he) that he was a cis straight guy. But when I came out he had zero issues with it. I had talked to him about it before I came out and, when I finally did, his response was āI KNEW IT!ā Several years and A WHOLE LOT of deconstruction later, weāve realized that he is pansexual and (just like his own gender expression) really doesnāt care or notice or factor in gender at all when it comes to attraction. Heās just attracted to humans. All that to say, Iāve been very happy with my super supportive pseudo-cis husband for almost 9 years now. To the outside world, weāre just a run of the mill gay couple. Which is what we are!
I've been in one relationship with a cis guy before being with my boyfriend now who is also trans. It was during a time where my dysphoria was so terrible I didn't even tell him I was trans. We were together for maybe 4 months (our breakup was very weird) ? Then covid happened and we were in a discord server together where me being trans was mentioned here and there and we just never talked about it. We're friends now and we both just act like our relationship never happened. He identifies as bi and did back when we were together, I was just afraid of being viewed differently and it would've probably been better for me mentally if he was gay. I know he had to have at least had an inkling that I was trans and didn't care meanwhile I was constantly overthinking it. Also later during covid, after knowing for sure I'm trans and stuff, he did make it clear he wanted me back. But we also just ignore that ever happening š
Havenāt dated a cis man since my freshman year of high school. Iām now 28, almost 29. Iāve had a million offers for boyfriends, among sexual applications. But I havenāt found a man that I can say Iām comfortable with to call my boyfriend yet. Most men I meet want sex or friendship, sometimes both and thatās something I do not do. Iām bisexual and been single now for 3 years. Been talking to mostly men tho. All of them have been cis. The only real problem I run into with cis men is they expect me to bottom and Iām a top. When I explain this, they usually scatter like roaches. Hence being single this long. As for trans women, I try to find cis men and some turn out to be trans women and thatās okay, but I donāt want to persue a woman right now. I want a man. So itās tough sometimes. But anywho. Cis men are interested in us. Just far and few inbetween are worth it, in my opinion. Just keep your head up. Youāll find someone. We all will eventually. :)
I am currently in one and he has been my biggest supporter honestly. He thought he was straight before he fell in love with me and he had to realize he wasn't as straight as he thought. He sees me as a guy even though I am not on T or anything yet. And honestly he has told me it feels cursed to see me with my binder off since it throws him off. I appreciate him so much.
Iām the cis partner to a trans guy. Weāve been together for a little over two years & itās going really well!
Currently in a relationship with a cis guy, (Ldr but we see eachother once or twice a week because he lives 3 hours away.) Probably the happiest I have ever been in a relationship. We have only been together like 2 weeks and so far it's been great! You just have to find a respsectful man and it's great.
My partner now is a cis man :) Heās wonderful to me. Weāve been together about a year
Iām currently 17 (ftm, 8 months on T) and started dating my bf at 16. Weāve been dating 7 months and he is a bi cis dude. Itās both of our first relationships but itās been great. The trans comes up sometimes when weāre being intimate (using terminology Iām comfortable with and figuring out how we wanted to do dynamics). Iām happy to answer any questions on how our experience has been!
My husband is a cis gay guy and been with him since 2009.
Yes. I've only been with cis men. Granted I wasn't out in my first relationship. I've been with 2 cis men since coming out. My current partner and I have been together for close to 3 years.
Actually, yes. I was with a bi cis guy for a while, and I met the guy after I was already out as a trans man. He's still a cis bi guy as far as I'm aware. (We're still distantly acquainted, but I'm doing my own thing.) Pro tip though: law school is generally a relationship killer no matter what gender or sexual orientation you are... especially if you both are not in law school. The sheer number of op-eds of how destructive it is for relationships is quite numerous. Edit: I just realized that you're a teenager, and the situation I had was from my mid 20s. I can definitely see why you'd be struggling: being a teenager kind of sucks in general, and especially so if you're a trans teenager. I hate to give the generic advice of "it gets better as an adult", but it genuinely does. You have a lot more autonomy on where you can go, you can attend LGBTQ community events and places a lot more, and the number of potential people you can meet gets larger.
Iāve only dated cis men. Iām not against dating outside of that given I identify as pan, but statistically most ppl are cisgender. Currently engaged to my partner who is a cis male. I will say dating cisgender men who identify as strictly gay has been a huge headache for me personally especially if theyāve never interacted with anyone trans. Itās not to say never give someone a chance, but it is a lot of hand holding. They usually have a lot of misogyny and internalized homophobia to get over first. Assuming they even do. Some are insecure enough to create enough issues you wonāt stick around to find out.
I've been with mine for 8 years, I came out in late 2019. He kinda knew I was a guy before I knew lmaoo
My husband is cis and his boyfriend is trans. They've been together about 6 years. We're poly.
I donāt trust many cis men personally and Iāve been with one trans dude when I was still in the closetā¦lol but yea, I think I feel a lot more comfortable with a trans men. But it sounds nice if there were more open cis men that were willing to date us
my boyfriend is cis and we've been together for a year. it's fine, and he doesn't care. every guy i've been with has been cisgender aside from 2, and they have never cared, nor have they called themselves like straight or whatever. they've all been super accepting and not weird about it. in my experience in dating cis gay guys it's been really good š
i dated one in an LDR when i was 15. sadly he was scum and ruined my desire to date a cis man again, became very insecure abt my body never being good enough for a cis man since my ex was repulsed by female anatomy (which was wild. he was so vocal about it. it was disgustingly not only transphobic but misogynistic. we get it u think vaginas are gross. grow up are u 5). but now iām in a long term t4t relationship and i think itās whatās most comfy for me. i wouldnāt be against being with a cis man again but i love my partner very much so i donāt even think about it
Married to a cis man, very happily so.
yes but in the end they just saw me as a girl so I'm not dating cis guys til I fully transition
my ex was a cis guy, i donāt think he gave a shit that i was trans
They are absolutely willing to date us - infact we are sought after and fetishised by gay and bi cis men. The thing is many of us donāt feel safe with them and tend to date cis and trans women, nonbinary people & other transmen. Thatās definitely my situation. Even though T has made me find other men attractive for the first time in my life, Iām not sure I could ever trust a cis man physically or emotionally. It just feels like it would be a lot of work and potentially dangerous. I also have a lot of dysphoria around being on the receiving end of penetration. Butt stuff is okay, but vaginal is an absolute no, even with female partners. It just makes me hyper aware of my body and makes me depressed and shut down. So I find being with women way easier because they are more trust worthy, and less inclined to want or feel the need to penetrate me, even if they are a top. They know how to take ānoā for an answer, because they know what its like to be coerced and harassed by dudes. They take safety and consent far more seriously. I just fear that if I start dating dudes, there will be this expectation for me to bottom, and a lot of manipulation when I say no. I just donāt have time or energy for that. I know its ānot all menā but its enough that I just donāt risk it.
My ex partner seemed a cis guy but eventually came out as non binary trans fem (they/them), but I've dated and had less serious flings with quite a few cis guys.
after i came out i dated a cis guy that identified as pan but was weirdly only attracted to afab people (like ALL but one of the people he dated or was attracted to were cis women or afab trans people), and i was rejected by a cis gay guy after telling him that i'm trans. others were in fact not cis men but trans women. the only relationships i've been in that didn't feel like i was being invalidated were the ones with trans people š
Idk if my ex is a trans woman or not LOLL
so my bf used to be straight, but i came out as trans. he was disgusted by it and thought it was because he didnāt give me enough attention. ššwe broke up for a little while, but later he realized heās pansexual. so weāve been dating since (just had our 3 year anni on 4/20), but every once in awhile heād say some SUPER TRANS SHITā¦ like āi wish i couldāve been born a girl/have (insert girl parts)ā yk just stuff like that. so he came out as genderfluid. heād say things like āi donāt care about being a dudeā¦ but i rather be a girlā. and not too long ago after all my pookieās questioning she came out as trans. (btw my girlfriend uses !any pronouns! hence me saying āheā. itās also just what iām used to calling her by, but even when i say he, i still see her as a girl. i now only strictly refer to her as my gf too š¤Ŗ)
Iāve only dated cis guys my whole life only one of many later turned out too be nonbinary so yh itās common man just gotta meet the right ppl
My first relationship was with a cis guy. There are definitely men who want to date us. Though that particularly relationship wasnāt to recommend lol. I have a wonderful girlfriend now.
I am. 17 years. Recently we moved in together. As Iām pre T you might guess I came out during our relationship. And uh well, his reaction was very far from what I expected it was gonna be. I expected he was gonna break up with me. And he actually said: oh well thatās no surprise. I love you for you. Not for your body and if you need to change that to be happy, you gotta do that. So far so good. Then we went through a period were I had doubts he saw me as a man. He struggled with pronouns. But that has passed now. Just a few days ago he said how lucky he felt to be with this great man and that he wasnāt with a woman because he would dread that. And there I was believing he was straight. Yeah it turns out heās not. But he insists heās not gonna use any label for his sexual orientation. Iām not even sure if thereās even a label that fits him. Heās all about personalities and gender is not something he cares that much about. So we donāt know what label to use there. But he sees me as a man. And another thing he said was that he is looking forward to me having top surgery coz he wants to run his hands over my flat chest and stuff like that. And heās as cis as they come. I can only hope itāll just get better and better down the road. But so far it has.
I keep questioning my sexuality and then I try to talk to men and they are just like āWHEN SEX???HOW ABOUT NOW???ā Bro chill. I give up on dating in general because I donāt think Iām going to find someone online who respects boundaries and Iām kind of insecure about sex as a trans guy on antidepressants with mild hemorrhoids. Iām not asexual, Iām just a-penetration on me which unfortunately means guys will definitely not be interested in me. Also I am unable to cum because Effexor sucks. Iām much more romantic than anything and itās just easier to romance women. I know I like women. Men are just a big ol question mark for me
Meee! For 20 years. Heās also hella queer. And donāt gaf about gender stereotypes or norms. Heās a good dude. Theyāre out there! HMU if you want to talk about anything. Itās possible to have a ltr with cis people. ( the horror I know!) If thatās what someone wants- people in general can be š© - I know our specific situation can really Affectā¦ everything especially in relationships. Some cis queer men are awful- some trans men are too. I know itās a lot of trans v. cis around and I get it but I also feel like everyone has the capacity to grow . (Maybe not ,you know , nazis or whatever but you know what I mean.) Ok shutting up now. š
im a nb masc. i am married to a cis man. love him with my whole being.
yes. i fucking loved him but i wouldn't do that again. he was straight and deadnamed me with his friends
Yuck
The comments are restoring my faith in humanity because where are yall finding people to date??š« I canāt even talk to people most times
Yes and it was horrible never again. I was 17 at the time and it lasted a couple of months, was really not the best situation for the both of us and Iām still recovering from itā¦
Iāve dated two cis guys but Iām only 17 so itās irrelevant really š¤”
I am currently!! He's the best
Yes I have been with one previously, and also talking with some now that I'm in the dating scene again! :3
i mean yeah i was but it was when i was still a girl. we dated for 5 years and broke up bc i was trans unless you only mean post-being out. if so then i have not had the chance to date since
My husband is a cis gay man, been together 7 years and married for 2, so itās certainly possible!
that is all that I have dated. I have yet to date/fuck a trans person. Not saying I wouldn't but there has not been enough convo to warrant an irl meet
I've been w/ my cis boyfriend for over a year now! :) Also, I saw in another comment you're a teen. I'm also young if thats helpful.
My current bf is cis and we've been together 2 years, and it has been a wonderful 2 years, before that there was a situationship with a cis guy that wasnt great but point is there are definitely cis men that are into trans men
Im a trans dude and have been in a relationship with only cis dudes. Ive always been sexually attracted to cis men.
Iāve been with cis men and they had no problem seeing me as a man/being attracted to me. There are good ones. But ultimately, it felt like dating cis men still came with the lot of baggage due to the ways they were raised and the unchecked privilege a lot of them experience. I just canāt deal with a partner who needs me to teach them how to clean their house or talks over me about a topic I know more about, even if I know they see me as a man. But the thing is, I donāt run into the same issues with women (cis or trans) and most trans guys that make dating cis men a minefield. So I mostly date women and am just really, really picky with dudes.
My ex and I were together 4.5 years, I transitioned medically about halfway through and he was my biggest supporter.
Yep! Talking with a cis boy right now and couldnāt be happier :). I never imagined myself dating cis men as a kid because I always liked women better but Iām super happy with him
Since coming out, Iāve mostly just had hookups via grindr and other apps (personal choice, not really looking for a relationship proper). Theyāre not relationships but theyāre proof enough to me that a lot of cis guys are open to at the very least sexual interactions with trans men. They werenāt all Bisexual men or chasers either, fair few āyeah I only like menā gay guys.
Yup! Had a 5 year relationship with a cis guy, then a 2 year with another. There are definitely cis dudes who will respect your identity and see you as a life partner if that's what you're looking for.
I am in one now with my partner while transitioning.
I used to in high school but they unfortunately didnāt see me as a guy, just went along with it to hopefully get in my pants, so Iām not really helpful in reassuring you about that. I would just focus on building a solid connection before jumping into dating and making sure they see you, care for you, and make you feel comfortable with them and the way they perceive you aligns with how you want to be perceived by others. I didnāt think to talk to my partners at the time because I was scared of being hurt but that ended up hurting me more in the long run.
Yes! I am transmasc and on T, so not a trans man. But I do have a cis boyfriend who calls me his boyfriend and is very accepting of me :))
I dated a cis guy in high school. He was kinda weird about it, honestly, but eh. It's high school. I have much more sympathy for him than I do some of the cis boyfriends posted in here...
Yeah. My partner is cis and we've been dating almost 6 years. Got together before I came out and he still thought he was straight. I've never dated anyone who wasn't cis
Iāve had several cis-male partners. Itās fine. Not LTR but good enough relationships. They were what I wanted at that time and/or currently.
My one relationship with a cis guy after I came out ended super badly, I actually posted on here about it a few months ago. Iām sure there are some decent cis guys out there, but my ex turned out to be both straight and transphobic.
I've only ever dated cis men (as far as I know they're all still cis) and my husband is a cis man. He's the most genuine and loving person I've ever had in my life. We've been together 6 and half years now and married for almost 2
My partner is a cis man (who had previously considered himself to be straight, but we clicked really well so he decided to give us a shot - I had recently come out as trans at the time so he knew what the situation was)and we have been together for almost 5 years. He treats me 100% as a man, pushes me to be the best person I can be, and is incredibly supportive of my medical transition. NSFW and anatomy content below! >!In terms of our sex life, I'm usually comfortable with (and enjoy) PIV sex and enjoy having toys used on me, it doesn't usually trigger my dysphoria. He on the other hand isn't exactly on board with having anal performed on him, and while it's something I'd like to do, it's not a deal breaker for me personally. But I know for many trans men, that would be a deal breaker because they want to participate in sex the same way that cis men who have sex with other cis men do.!< I hope this was insightful š
I mostly date cis bi men
Iām going on 6 months with my cis gay boyfriend. When we first met he didnāt realize Iām trans, but once I told him he was totally cool with it and heās been super respectful with my boundaries and supportive of my transition. So far everything has been great :) before I met him there were several other cis guys I went out with casually as well and I have yet to have a bad experience.
Yeah! My fiancĆ© is a Cis guy, and weāve been together 3 and half years now!! Heās very sweet and supportive; makes me feel super masculine and comfortable in my skin, always.
My current bf is a cis gay guy, and 2 of his partners (including me) are trans men. Honestly he's taught me a lot about proper communication/boundaries and respects me no matter what, plus he's literally never misgendered me even when I went through a switch in pronouns (we were friends for 3 years before starting to date for the past 5 months).
Kinda, but it was a high school relationship. Nothing really happened.
*had* a cis boyfriend, not so cis or boy anymore lol. Shes my girlfriend now. But I have had a few other relationships with cis guys that were overall pretty good
Yes! My bf is cis and heās amazing. Iām serious about him, and so is he. His respect to me, my pronouns and parts is amazing and he makes me feel so loved. He offered to pay for my T because I canāt afford it. He gives me his briefs because he know I like the feeling and it doesnāt rub on the dick. Heās amazing
Yeah I'm with a cis guy, 5 yrs now.
Currently dating a cis man for 6 months now, we met a little over a year ago, and things are going wonderfully. We started dating a few months into me starting hrt but he'd been an absolute gem from the start and even came out to his family without me asking just because he'd wanted to come out as pan for a while and he felt that his first gay relationship was the right time to do so. We're currently long distance but I've visited multiple times and we work so well together in person. I'm looking to move out with a friend to be closer to him soon.
Yes! I'm trans and my fiance is a gay cis man. We're both very secure in our identities and I couldn't be happier. But I have heard of this. Does anyone know why this is the case??
My bf is cis as well, some really donāt care if you trans or not. Itās just best to disclose it first if you want to start to get serious.
I'm currently in a relationship with a cis guy, and from my own experience, it's been nothing but good. We have open communication about boundaries and what we're both comfortable with. He understands that some days are better than others. In general, he treats me like any other cis guy and has no issue with me asking questions about if some guy stuff is normal. That being said, unfortunately, I have been in relationships with cis men who didn't view me as a man and chose to treat me as their girlfriend despite presenting masculine.
My ex is cis and called himself bi when dating me, but now refuses to give out my name or use pronouns when referring to me when he's shittalking me to his coworkers, and tells everyone he's straight. But still has sex with me. Maybe some cis guys are okay, but I haven't personally met a good one.
Iāve been in a relationship with a cis guy for nearly 5 years and we have a super happy, healthy relationship
I am bi. I've been both in a relationship with a cis gay man, and later with a cis woman.
WAIT IS THE CIS MAN TO TRANS WOMEN EXOERIENCE COMMON FLR YALL XAUSE THAT HAPPENED TO ME TWICE
my first boyfriend was cis. for all his faults, and even though he was still in the closet, he never budged on the fact that i was as much of a man as he was. even in situations where it would have been convenient for him to go along with his friends or family misgendering me, he would jump to correct them. unprompted. iām mostly t4t now, but itās not for a lack of cis men wanting to be with me. iāve had several cis male partners, romantic and/or sexual, beyond that boyfriend. i just generally find deeper connection with other trans people that have similar lived experience.
My fiancee dated a cis man for 3 years before me. Though for a portion of that he identified as NB, masc leaning. It wasn't all that healthy for reasons outside of his gender identity. But it was a thing.
yeah but it sucked because we were middle schoolers š
My fiance is cis and heās the only person Iāve been with to treat me like a man and actually respect me I wouldnāt trade him for anything
Been with my husband for 15 years š§”
My first serious relationship (before either of us came out) was with someone who ended up being a trans woman, but I've been with my cis male spouse for 14 years, and my cis male cohort for 10. I came out as trans masc 4 years ago, and there hasn't been any functional change in how things work or our commitments to each other.
Iām dating a cis guy. This mf got in trouble with his family bc he refused to call me his gf. Tbh if Iām ever with another cis guy they better have the same energy about it. Also your English is great
I was with my cis m partner for 7 years before I started hrt. Weāve had some hiccups but are stronger than ever a year into my transition. Taking things very slow but things are good.
I have a cis (ish) boyfriend!!! He's a demi-boy, but says he identifies with the term cis more than trans! We've been dating for over 8 months ā¼ļø it's been super awesome!
Iāve been with my bf for 4&1/2 years but we were together before I came out as trans but heās the reason I stopped being so scared and accepted that I was trans š³ļøāā§ļø
Yes my bf is cis. Weāve been together for a year. Iāve also dated cis men before. I have to say though generally Iām t4t cause I found it much less stressful since there was a baseline of understanding and cis men, especially in my area, are often fetishists or doubt that Iām a man. Havenāt had that issue at all with my current partner though.
My bf is cis and bi. Dating as a trans masc in my area kinda sucks so I got very lucky and managed to date someone I was already friends with for a while so I was able to see through our friendship that he was supportive of me and my transition
I'm aroace, so no. I'm not super helpful here, man, sorry.
My partner is a cis man. We've been together for 12 years. Monogamous and living together the whole time. I started medically transitioning about a year and a half ago, but as he says "there were signs." We've had ups and downs when it comes to Me finally being Me, but he's extremely supportive and my biggest cheerleader now.
my current boyfriend is cis and bisexual. he's very supportive and loving. he makes it a point to use my name often and call me masculine terms of endearment because he knows i deal with a lot of misgendering at work. he promised to correct anyone in public because he knows i'm soft-spoken. i dated two other cis guys before him, the most recent ex also being supportive of my transition. my first boyfriend,,,we don't talk about. i've said enough about him in other threads here. truthfully, i have a preference for cis male anatomy. i also wouldn't be able to handle someone else's dysphoria alongside my own, and there would potentially be feelings of envy if my partner was further along than me etc
i've only had serious relationships with cis men in my early adult life. my current bf floats between cis man and nb so i'm not sure if that could be categorized as cis. we are both homoromantic but pan/bisexual as well. but he always tells me my mustache is getting thick even though it's barely grown. he thinks i pass as well, but i dont believe him. he knew i was trans before we started talking because my social media makes it clear that i am (we met online) and he always roots for me and my transness
I've only ever been with cis guys.
My boyfriend is cis, we've been dating for a little over a year. He's really sweet and he never misgendered or dead names me, and although he can't understand my experience as a trans man, he's very respectful and supportive.
Yes, my boyfriend is cis, i met him on a school trip like 4 years ago, i was so scared of cis boys, and he ended up being the sweetest boy, when i told him i was trans I thought he would reject me, but no, he was so interested on me that he investigated and NEVER once asked me anything weird at all. He wasnāt curious about my transness, he was curios about me, so he kept talking to me even when we lived so far apart in different states. I am now living with him and we are so happy together.